Do Looks Matter to Girls? (The Answer with SHOCK YOU!)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today we're going to talk about whether or not looks matter to women. Does it matter what you look like or does it not matter at all, which is what a lot of other pickup artists are telling you. I'm just going to tell you right now, they do matter, but not in the way that you think they do.

0:40 And the good news is, is that you can radically improve your appearance to attract women, but it doesn't really have to do with appearance. So this is one of those weird, nebulous, strange kind of podcast episodes where I'm going to say, yes, it does matter, but it doesn't matter. Yet it does matter, but it doesn't matter. And I know that just blew your mind, but I'm going to give you some really awesome information. But the real point here is I want you guys to get hopeful because you can improve your quote unquote looks and attract way more women without actually having to go get surgery on your face.

1:14 Go get facial reconstructive surgery, not necessary, but there are a few things you need to do to make yourself more attractive. We're going to get deep down the rabbit hole on this one. I'm really excited about it. Got some super cool points to make some things you've probably never thought of before. And another thing, if you're a really good looking guy and you're not having success with women, I'm going to tell you exactly why that is. So stay tuned before we jump into the content. I just want to suggest that you guys check out my NLP dating coaching.

1:43 So what I do is I use neuro linguistic programming to reprogram your brain and make you more attractive to women. And that's going to work seamlessly into what I'm talking about today, because a big reason your looks aren't attracting women is because what's really going on inside your head. So we're going to talk about that today. But I want you guys to take a minute, if you're interested, to check out my website, CoachMarkSingh.com and click on the little tab that says coaching and it'll take you over and explain exactly what I do.

2:11 And you'll see all the amazing testimonials I have. And the reason that is, is because I do things different from other pickup artist coaches. What I do is I actually reprogram your brain. I teach you the rules of attraction and what women are really attracted to, not just the bullshit advice that a lot of other pickup artist coaches are giving, but what they're really, really attracted to. And the testimonials speak for themselves. They'll show you why I get such good results from my clients. And oftentimes you can make a lot of good progress in just one session.

2:41 Now, not everybody can do it with just one session. It kind of depends on the depth of your issues, but when you reprogram the brain, some miraculous things happen. And that's partly what we're going to talk about today. So what do you say we jump into it? All right. So do looks matter? Yes, they do, but not in the way that you think they do. Okay. So here's the real thing that matters. And if you've listened to this podcast for any amount of time, you're probably going to know what I'm going to say.

3:07 It's your masculinity that matters. Now, certain looks communicate that you have a high level of masculinity. Okay. So for example, the most obvious example is a lot of you guys are overweight. Well, when you're overweight, you have a ton of estrogen going through your body. Do you know that? You actually have a higher amount of estrogen than guys who are not overweight. And because you're overweight, it's compromising your masculinity because masculinity is testosterone. So when women are attracted to looks, what they're really attracted to are signs that say that you're masculine, you're healthy, you have a high testosterone, and all these things communicate that you are an alpha male who can take care of her.

3:48 So when I say looks matter, I mean the look of masculinity. Now, when you're overweight, obviously you have a high estrogen, you can't protect her the way she needs to be protected. You don't look like the kind of guy that can go out and hunt an elk and bring back the meat and take care of her. You look like the kind of guy who would be impotent in a hunting situation, impotent in a fighting situation, impotent in a situation where you need to help her take care of her and her baby.

4:17 So women are attracted to men who have a look of survivability. Now, if you take me, for example, I used to be way better looking aesthetically in my 20s. But in my 20s, I was two pubes short of a pussy. I couldn't defend anybody. I was weak. I was really low on my masculinity, very high in my femininity. I mean, I wasn't like, you know, gay, kind of like girlish gay, but I was a pussy. And I admit it forthright. But I was way more aesthetically pleasing.

4:47 Aside from my body, which is actually better now, like my facial features were way better, is way more proportional. And did you know that your nose and your ears never stop growing? And I already have a big nose as it is. So by the time I'm 80 years old, man, I'm going to have a schnoz that can smell the coffee next door. Man, that thing is going to be gigantic. I'm going to have like big old plates for ears. One of the negs that I say to girls is I tell them that.

5:11 I say, you know, your ears and your nose never stop growing. You have these really tiny ears, and I think they'll really suit your face when you're like 35. It's kind of a neg, which is called a negative compliment. But I say that sometimes. But the point is here is that I'm not nearly as good looking, quote unquote, as I was when I was in my 20s. But I get way more action from girls. I get checked out hundreds of times more. Why? Because I'm way more masculine.

5:36 So masculinity is an energy which comes out of having high testosterone and moving into your masculine energy, as I've taught you guys in previous podcasts, and which I'll continue to teach you guys in future podcasts. So now that I'm more masculine, I actually have a better body than I did back then. Back then, I kind of looked like a chicken McNugget with tits. So I had like a really good looking face or pretty good looking. I give myself a solid eight. I've moved down probably to a six now that I'm 43 in the facial area.

6:06 But I look like a chicken McNugget with tits. So I didn't really get good action. And there's another important point that I'm going to touch upon where when girls would compliment me and say I was good looking, I would always get confused why they wouldn't be attracted to me. I'm going to talk about that in a second. Well, as I'm up to my masculinity, what happened is I started losing the body fat. I started gaining more muscle. I started growing more facial hair. I actually shaved my head.

6:33 I used to have like a really nice coif going on, like the old like hair dryer parted to the right and it had little floofiness to it. And then if I was jumping on a trampoline, it would bounce more than I was. It was it was gay, man. It looked ridiculous. So I shaved that motherfucker. And now I look tough. And before this podcast, I was asking Marissa, I was like, hey, what were you more attracted to, the coif look or the shaved head look? And she's like, I don't know, like aesthetically speaking, the shaved head look didn't look as good, like, you know, photo magazine good.

7:06 But she's like, I'm more attracted to it. And I'm like, why do you think that is? She's like, I don't know. It looks tough. I was like, exactly. It's because it's more masculine. Marissa also admitted to me that she had a sex dream about Jocko. Now, I didn't get butthurt about this because I understood if you guys know who Jocko is, he's not a good looking dude. He kind of looks like a pit bull in a way, but he's so ridiculously masculine that women are attracted to him.

7:31 And he's the perfect point is that when you have high masculinity, you start to get features and behaviors and you start to look like you have high masculinity. And that includes, like, you know, shaving your head, growing some facial hair, your jawline seems to just get more chiseled, your body fat goes down, you get more lean muscle mass, you carry yourself differently. And really, guys, and here's a big point, is it's the energy. Okay, so even though fat chicks are horrible, they're the worst thing that ever happened to humanity, you and I both know that, there's still something to be said about a fat chick who's feminine, right?

8:09 You could take a fat chick who's feminine, like really girly, and then you take, like, a really hot chick, and this happens to hot chicks a lot, who are really manly. And I have an opinion as to why that is. But you'll actually kind of be a little bit more attracted to the somewhat fat, as long as he's not too fat, not too fat now, not like a ham planet fatty, but just a little overweight. You'll actually be a little bit more attracted to the chick who's more feminine, who's not as aesthetically good-looking, as the girl who's aesthetically good-looking, but really manly.

8:41 And that's because it's an energy. So in us, women are attracted to the energy. Now, here's the point. That energy often comes along with aesthetics of a certain nature. A lot of guys think that you have to have an aesthetically pleasing face, but that's not it. It's a face that represents the energy field of masculinity. So when you start changing your life, when you do the things I talked about in the past episode, which was like the six neurological processes of NLP, you begin to look different.

9:12 Like, it's weird. I look different than I did 10 years ago. And I didn't even like consciously so much try to do it. But literally, like, I feel like my face changed and my body changed and my hands changed and everything kind of changed because I radically increased my masculinity. Obviously, the Chicken McNugget with tits look was a thing of the past. I now have a six-pack. I'm shredded. I have a very chiseled jawline. I have a little bit of facial hair, a buzz cut, and I look tough.

9:42 I look tough, you know, and people tell me that. Like, man, you look like you could fight, and I love that. That's what I want people to think. Even though I'm only a white belt in that jiu-jitsu, I still like to, you know, practice to fight, and I think that's really important. So here comes the reason as to why good-looking guys often struggle with women. And I think this is so cool. And this came from a conversation that I recently had with my coach asking him why he thought that was.

10:08 So the reason it is is this, is that their whole lives, really good-looking guys are kind of complimented on their looks, right? Like, oh, you're so handsome. You should be able to get girls. And what happens is when we're told we're a certain way, we begin to look for it for other people to validate it. So we get into a, you guessed it, feminine state where we're looking to get validated by women for our looks. But what is that? That's what women should be doing. Women should be looking to us to get validated for their looks.

10:39 That's the feminine sphere of existence. So when you're a good-looking guy and people are telling you you're handsome all the time, what happens? That's right. You begin to take that feminine role. You start looking for validation from chicks. Then what happens is because you have that feminine energy, you begin to act in feminine ways. Okay? You look for validation. You become needy. Your tonality changes. Your body language changes. Shit, you might even get a little bit more body fat. Okay, then what happens is women lose attraction for you.

11:11 Marissa was telling me, she's like, man, every time I dated an exceptionally good-looking guy, he was always such a fucking pussy. He was so needy. He was so thirsty for my validation. And that's what turned me off. So it's because he's been pigeonholed into being that good-looking guy and he's looking for that validation. He goes into the feminine, makes women be the masculine, then they lose attraction for him. Now, inversely, really hot chicks. You guys have probably experienced that a lot of really hot chicks sometimes are very masculine.

11:44 Have you guys ever heard of that guy, Grant Cardone? He's a big personality right now. He's like this ultra salesman, you know, hundreds of times over, millionaire, and he teaches you how to sell. Well, he's extremely successful, extremely masculine, go-getter, fucking champion. I really like the guy. A little extreme for me sometimes, but I like him. I follow him. Well, his wife is fucking hot as shit. Right? Supermodel quality. But dude, she's masculine, bro. Like, I'll watch the video sometimes. I'm like, man, that chick is like a dude.

12:14 Now, I don't want to talk shit about Grant Cardone because he's extremely masculine. So, perhaps his masculinity is far enough away from her masculinity where there's still polarity there. But I'm willing to bet that it doesn't necessarily work so well in the bedroom. If she went more into her feminine, then there would be a better flux there of sexual energy where the sex is better. I don't know how it is in their relationship that I'm not going to pretend to know, but I have a feeling that might be an issue for them.

12:43 Well, the reason, I think, why really, really, really hot girls often go into their masculinity is because they're so often validated and pushed to be feminine that they actually swing the other way. And they say, I'm sick of being objectified for my looks. I'm going to get super masculine so you take me seriously. Right? Because they're so ridiculously hot. Guys are always validating them. It's almost pushing them more into the feminine that they want to be so they go the opposite direction and become masculine. Well, the same thing happens for really good-looking guys.

13:17 So in a way, and you guys, I get a lot of clients who are really good-looking, couldn't get laid if they were in a Tijuana brothel with $100 bills strapped to their penis because they're in this feminine energy. Now that leads us into the solution for you. You know what it is. You have to get more masculine and stop being worried about your looks as far as women validating them because, bro, you're in the feminine role. And the more you get into the feminine role, the more you care about what women are thinking of you and look for it and, like, feel bad because they're not validating you, the less you're getting into your masculinity.

13:53 So you need to understand logically, first of all, that your aesthetic looks, okay, the way your face looks, the way your height is, like how tall you are, the way maybe you have some body fat. Okay, you need to say, look, instead of dwelling on it and feeling bad about it, what I should do is radically change my masculinity, okay, and that includes working out, eating better, becoming that hunter, becoming that man that women want. Then what's going to happen is your looks, while not aesthetically changing, they will in a way aesthetically change.

14:29 Your body can aesthetically change, but your face doesn't have to, right? You don't have to grow hair or get taller necessarily. What you have to do is go more into your masculinity, then you're going to lose the body fat, you're going to get more lean muscle mass, your face will probably become more chiseled. Dude, guys with bald heads are rated as some of the sexiest guys in the world by women because bald heads are masculine. Guys with a little bit of facial hair are rated as sexier to women.

14:59 Now, the best facial hair is like five o'clock shadow, that kind of look. Like, think about the cowboy on the frontier, right? Like, wearing leather gloves, cowboy hat, he's got like the five o'clock stubble. He has a very good lean muscle mass. He's not chubby. That's the kind of look we want to go for. Now, something that confuses the shit out of me is guys in gyms. A lot of you guys who listen to this already work out, so you can relate to this. Why the fuck?

15:27 Please tell me this. I do not understand it. I went to the gym today and I literally counted the number of guys who probably have 20% body fat or more. They're muscular, but it's like they have a pot belly. Bro, I'm telling you, that is not a good look. And the reason they did it, I've talked to a lot of my clients about this as well as guys who are really into lifting weights, is because they think that being bigger is better, but it's not. Being lean, 10% body fat with a nice kind of cut look to you is the ideal.

15:58 Yet, bro, I counted this. Nine out of 10 guys had that look. Big, muscular, but then just like 20% body fat or more and like a big pot belly. I'm like, why are they doing this? It's because in our society, we get so hung up on being bigger. We think bigger is better. Lifting more is going to attract women. Being the biggest guy is the sexiest. But let's look at hunter-gatherer societies. You could go on YouTube right now and look at living tribes that exist in today's age that are still out there.

16:30 And look at the way their bodies are. They're very cut, very lean, very low body fat, and they're efficient. They can run all day. They can throw arrows. They're efficient hunters. The guy who's like huge and muscular with a big old beer belly, that guy doesn't survive in a situation like that. And oftentimes in like military, like spec ops training, those are the guys that get flushed out first. It's like the big meathead guys. That look is not efficient for survival, and women are programmed to look for that look, which is efficient for survival.

17:03 Women get turned on by the hunter, the dude that can go provide, the dude who has a high level of masculinity, high level of testosterone, lean muscle mass, low body fat, which again, body fat is estrogen. That's the guys that she's attracted to. So like so many people in this society, and this is part of the reason for this podcast, have it all wrong with what women are attracted to. They're not attracted to the gigantic meathead guys. They're attracted to, like I said, the dude who looks like, remember Tarzan?

17:33 What was that jackass that played that role, Tarzan? Brendan Fraser. Yeah, Brendan Fraser. That look, that's what you want. He was even a little bit too cut for that, but like that lean kind of look. Now, if you're a bigger dude, and you're kind of naturally pack on fat, if you're an endomorph body type, I'm an ectomorph. If you're an endomorph, you can still lose your body fat. You could still get a leaner version of that, which women still find very sexy. Now, that begs the question, well, what about height?

18:02 Does height matter? To an extent, it does. A lot of women will tell you it does, but I'll tell you this. You can definitely overcome it if you maximize your masculinity, especially in today's day and age where so many guys are just fucking pussies. They're basically girls with beards. Okay, so if you maximize your masculinity as much as possible, understand that your look of being masculine is what matters. Not your look of looking like a GQ model who himself hyperextends his vagina if he gets bit by a mosquito.

18:36 Okay, that is not the look that women are attracted to. They may say like, oh, he's hot. But then the second he talks, he talks like this. He's like, hi, girls. How you doing? And they're like, oh, my God, that's fucking disgusting. Whereas, like I always talk about, when you have a tonality that controls the frame, you lead women, you bring masculinity into the interaction, she's going to get attracted to that. Final thought, I was talking recently to somebody about homosexuals and how us heterosexual guys kind of sometimes have a natural inkling to attack homosexuals.

19:10 Now, me personally, I have a lot of friends who are gay. I think they're fucking funny. I think they're awesome. I like hanging out with them. I don't have a problem with them. But I do have that urge to kind of rip on them sometimes. I'm going to be honest with you. I have that internal urge. I don't act on it. I never say anything, but something about it, especially when I was younger, bothered me. Now, I had a philosophical conversation about this with one of my coaches, and he made a great point, which was this, is that a guy who's effeminate basically communicates to the tribe that he'll have an unlikely chance to contribute what a man should contribute to the tribe, which is going out, dominating, being a warrior, being a hunter, protecting the people, bringing home the bacon, bringing home the fucking pig, right?

19:57 He's going to be more like a girl. So when a guy like that comes into a tribe, the other guys resent him because he's not going to be helpful to the tribe. And you guys see it all the time. You can't deny it. I know we live in a super PC world where it's like trigger words and everyone's a big fucking pussy, but you can't deny it. Immediately, when you see a gay man, you probably feel deep inside. Now, admit it to me, bro. A little bit of resentment.

20:23 I think that's why that is. It's because we intrinsically understand as men that the opposite of masculinity is not going to contribute to the tribe. Well, it's the same thing with chicks. When you have a lack of masculinity, they immediately see in you. He's not going to be able to contribute not only to the tribe, but to me and my offspring. So once again, bro, like honestly, 100% honest, I do not have anything against homosexuals. Do what you want. I even support gay marriage. That's just my personal philosophy.

20:53 It's like, do what the fuck you want. You want to get married? Go for it. But it just illustrates the point that when a man is feminine, we see him as not operating the way he should and contributing to the tribe the way that he, quote unquote, should contribute. Now, in today's society, that doesn't apply. But I think that's why we all kind of get rubbed the wrong way just initially, especially in high school and college and when we were a little younger and less sophisticated.

21:20 We'll get rubbed the wrong way because of that fact. So I thought that was kind of an interesting addition to this podcast episode. But once again, guys, you know, looks don't matter as far as aesthetics, but they do matter as far as communicating your masculinity. Couple final points on this. A masculine man takes care of himself. So that means cleaning your nails, having nice teeth, right? If your teeth are all blown out and your nails are all dirty. Yeah, you may be like a trade worker and that's why your nails are dirty.

21:50 But a masculine man takes care of himself because taking care of is masculine and that includes taking care of himself. So a masculine man is very clean, well put together. Like I said, he's probably in good shape. He has some facial hair. He definitely has confident body language. His tonality expresses it. His house is clean. His car is clean. He's a go-getter getting shit done. His life is together. And that's what masculinity is. It's your life is together. So that's why women will often blow guys out when they have like dirty fingernails or they have like stupid looking shoes or they're not socially intelligent.

22:29 Like they dress in a way that's kind of goofy, right? Stonewashed jeans with a brown belt and tennis shoes. It just communicates social unintelligence. So looks matter in the way that if you're socially intelligent with it, if you take care of yourself, and once again, the biggest point of this podcast, bringing masculinity into your look, not femininity, which is caring so much about the aesthetics of it, but instead the communication and energy of masculinity. All right, guys, I hope that has helped. I know it certainly helped me when I fleshed it out with my coach over the last few weeks.

23:06 And let's just continue to get masculine, man. If you need help with that, you can get some NLP coaching with me. One of the things that I do with my clients is really identify how much masculinity they have inside of them as well as femininity and kind of get those balances right. You know, in a lot of ways, it's like a carburetor. If you're not tuned correctly the way the carburetor should be tuned, then you're going to be running too rich or running too lean. Then health problems happen.

23:32 Depression happens. You feel like shit. But when you get those oil to gasoline balances correct, as well as the air coming into the carburetor correct, when you get it dialed in correctly, then you feel better. You feel more like yourself, and you're more confident because you feel like yourself. You feel like you have higher self-esteem. So for a lot of you guys, you don't even realize, bro, you got too much femininity going on. And what we can do with NLP is rewire that so that you operate effectively.

24:00 When you operate effectively, your immune system goes up, your masculinity goes up, your testosterone goes up, your body language improves, your tonality improves, and just like that, women get attracted to you. So check out my coaching. You can go to CoachMarkSingh.com, click on the coaching link, check out the testimonials. If you're interested, go ahead and sign up and let me know that you found me on the UMP because I do have an eight, it could be nine weeks now, waiting list, long-ass waiting list. But I get guys in early who listen to this podcast.

24:31 So I'll ask you, where'd you find me? You let me know, the UMP, and I'll get you in within the next few weeks. All right, guys, I do thank you for listening, and I'll see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.