How to Steal a Girl From Her Boyfriend (Works Every Time)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And in today's episode, we're going to talk about how to get one of your girlfriends to break up with their boyfriend and come be with you. I don't know why you guys always ask me this question. I get it all the time.

0:31 Like, Mark, how do I do this? Are we really that much in a scarcity mentality where we have to yank girls off their boyfriends? I guess maybe we are. Now, I do understand there is the situation sometimes when you have a work friend or a friend in your social group or her boyfriend's an asshole and you guys hit it off really well. And there's a love connection there and all that stuff. And you want to know how to kind of go under the radar and convince her to be with you rather than him.

1:01 And that's more the angle we're going to go at today because I don't suggest putting hatred out there, trying to tear people apart, doing things that are negative in that respect. But if the guy's a real douchebag and she's not happy with him and he's not treating her well and you know that you'd be a better fit for her, then I think that's absolutely fine. And I dare say I've done it a few times myself. So I'm going to teach you how to do that today.

1:24 Before we jump into the content, I'd like to ask each of you guys to go over to my website and pick up your free copy of the approach formula. How to approach a woman without rejection or fear. It's for free right there on my website. You can either go to CoachMarkSingh.com or you can click in the link below and it goes straight to it and then you'll get on my mailing list. And what I try to do with the mailing list is to send you guys actually really high quality content.

1:52 And I'm not going to inundate you, you know, every day, three times a day with emails from me. I email maybe once a week. And when I do, I really try to give super high quality content just like I do in this podcast. So jump on over there. CoachMarkSingh.com. Grab your copy of the approach formula right on the homepage. You just click the red button. It takes you over to the page where the approach formula is. Boom. You get on my mailing list. I send you it.

2:15 And then suddenly you're going to be opening girls without getting rejected again. It's a pretty cool little program. So check that out when you get a chance. All right. Let's talk about how to yank a girl off her boyfriend. All right. First and foremost, we never want to come at this situation frontally. And what I mean by that is, is we have to go under the radar. We have to flank the enemy as it were. If we're too obvious that we're trying to get her to break up with her boyfriend, get her to complain about her boyfriend, try to point out all the things that are wrong with the boyfriend, talk shit about him, all that stuff.

2:51 The typical things that guys do, that's just going to get us blown out. It is the wrong way to do it. So what we need to do instead is get her, A, attracted to us as much as humanly possible, and B, be there for her if and when she wants to complain about her boyfriend. Okay. So first we're going to talk about how to get a woman attracted to us. And this works not only with a girl who has a boyfriend, but any woman, a girl that you see often when you go to a coffee shop, the dry cleaners or a girl at work who you want to run a campaign on.

3:26 Now that's the key word here is that this is a campaign. This isn't a one-time deal where you suddenly wake up in the morning, you decide, hey, I'm going to get Sarah to break up with her boyfriend and come be with me by using the Mark Singh magic eight words that'll get her to finally realize that she's in love with me. Doesn't exist. Ain't going to happen. This is a campaign. And what is a campaign? It's a long series of moves that you're going to make in the following order that are going to give you the most likely chance of success.

3:53 Now, is this guaranteed to work? No. There's a myriad of circumstances, most of which include you and how attractive you are as well as her. Maybe she's in love with the guy. Maybe he isn't a douchebag. And once again, in that case, I don't agree with you trying to blow him out. But again, if he's a douche, if he's a bad fit for her and you guys are clicking, then okay, I can see why you do that. So in the campaign, we want to deploy a series of very important things, first of which is value.

4:21 Okay, I talk about this all the time. If you aren't familiar with value, just go listen to any number of my previous podcasts that teach you how to build attraction in women. I also offer one-on-one coaching where you can cut to the chase and really figure this out quickly. Typically, in just one session, you can learn more about that at CoachMarkSingh.com. Just click on coaching. I can teach you how to do this really quickly if you want to learn how to give value, how to get her attracted to you.

4:49 But a few things I want to say are this. First of all, you want to show pre-selection. Now, this may seem counterintuitive, but when you want to get a girl who you work with or a girl at the gym or anybody, frankly, you need to show her that you have women in your life already and not only women but attractive women. So let's go to the point of you have a friend at work who has a boyfriend. That's probably the typical situation most of you guys are dealing with.

5:14 Well, what you want to do is, you know, be friend or you guys hit it off. You want to give value, tell stories, you know, all the attraction building techniques. And then you want to, like, exchange Instagrams or Facebooks or whatever. And as you guys are single, one of the smartest things you can do is really work on showing pre-selection in your Instagram page. Pre-selection means that you have women in your life already. Girls are attracted to you. You have lots of girlfriends. Quick point on this.

5:42 You don't want to look like you're hooking up with these girls. You just want to look like you have a lot of girls in your life. Okay, so this girl at work, let's go ahead and give her a name to make this all easier. Kelly. Okay, Kelly has a boyfriend and you're trying to get her. First, you're going to try to get Instagram, Facebook exchange. Let her know that you have women in your life. Secondly, and this is what I strongly suggest, is always leave on a high note.

6:05 Okay, so every day you go into work, you have some material lined up. And this is the kind of material that I teach in my coaching. Storytelling, chick crack, gambits, these types of things that make her attracted to you. Once again, you can learn more by listening to some of my podcasts or, like I said, you can get coaching. But what I always would do is I would, like, tell her a cool story or I would run, like, a chick crack thing on her, like the cube, which is a psychological test.

6:32 You can look it up, the cube. Or I'd tell a joke or whatever it was. I'd show value. Or sometimes I'd even tell her about a date I had where the girl was real clingy and she keeps texting me and she's blowing up my phone. That's a little seed of pre-selection that you're planting in her brain. Oh, this guy is really desired. And you don't really want her to know that you want her just yet, if that makes sense. You want to come under the radar.

6:57 So you're cool with her, you make her laugh, and then you leave. Right on a high note, you make her leave. I remember I snatched up this girl from a dry cleaning place, super fucking hot. And I'd go in, I'd have a little material ready, I'd drop it on her. Right when she was laughing, I'd be like, have a good day and bail. Why does this work? It's because when they're on a high note, then they're feeling good about you and they're missing you when you leave.

7:19 And you want to take that away. It's part of what I call push-pull. So you're pulling her into you by telling the good joke, showing a lot of charisma, maybe even listening to her. And then on a high note, when she's feeling good, that's when you be like, hey, I got to get back to work. And then you leave. Now, as you do this, you show pre-selection. You show value. Hopefully, she kind of starts seeking you out. Right? She starts looking for you. You can see, oh man, you can really tell.

7:45 Like, her eyes will light up. If you're getting that light up when she sees you, that's really important. I remember I snatched this girl off her boyfriend. And I knew I was doing well when, and we worked together. When I walked into the break room and she saw me in her eyes, I could see her eyes open. And I was like, okay, I'm doing good. Let's continue with the campaign. Now, as you guys get closer, you might want to ask her a little bit about her relationship or the way I did it with this one girl was to complain about this girl that I'm dating.

8:14 Yeah, I'm dating this girl. And she's kind of a Klingon. Like, she texts me all the time. She's real needy. She kind of doesn't get the hint. I understand she's into it. But, you know, I'm not really feeling that into her just yet. And I think relationships take time to build up. So, what do you think I should do? And I would actually ask her for her advice. Now, what that did is it opened the door for her to vent to me about her boyfriend. Now, here's another big point.

8:39 Bro, if she's going to leave her boyfriend for you, there needs to be a point at some time in your relationship where she starts complaining about her boyfriend to you. If she doesn't complain about her boyfriend to you, there's a very small chance of you being able to get her to break up with him. Like I said, if it's going okay and they have the normal amount of problems that all relationships have, why even bother? Why try to do that? It's just negativity you're putting out into the universe.

9:06 But if she's complaining about him, which in my case, this little blonde girl was doing, you know, he was an asshole. He was a complete douchebag. So, I was like, all right, fuck this guy. I'm going to go ahead and snatch her up. And I did. And I treated her a lot better. And we had a better relationship for the amount of time that it lasted. So, what you want to do is look for that and open the door to that. In some of the questions you can ask, and this is a little bit contrived and I don't even really do it anymore, but I used to do this a lot, is say, so what's it like to be in the perfect relationship?

9:38 When you say that, she's going to tell you what's bad about her relationship because no relationship is perfect. It sets the precedence that, well, it's not exactly perfect. He does this. And now what you can do is you can use some of the things that I taught in my FBI negotiation podcast. You can label, which means when she complains about him, you can say, wow, it sounds like he really doesn't listen to you. Or, wow, it sounds like he really doesn't appreciate you that much, right?

10:06 And then you want her to kind of go on and on and complain about him to you. Now, another important concept that I teach in my coaching is if you set the precedence that you're her wall to bitch at, then that's going to be the precedence that's set for the rest of your relationship. So, while I would let these girls complain to me a little bit about their boyfriend, once I felt like enough is enough, I would change the subject. I would change the subject into something positive, make her laugh, and then, like I said, leave on a high note.

10:37 So, I would let her vent to me a little bit, but I didn't want to set up the precedence that, look, I'm your psychologist, right? Because a lot of guys can fall into that. You need to control the frame, which I always talk about. Once again, listen to my podcast about frame control. Just type in frame control and mark seeing in the search bar, and my podcast about that will pop up. But as the man, you need to control the frame and control the conversation. So, you may say to her, so, what's it like to be in the perfect relationship?

11:04 She's like, well, it's not exactly perfect. And you're like, oh, really? Like, what's up? Well, he kind of doesn't appreciate me. Like, the other day, he forgot that it was our anniversary. And then you can mirror, which I talk about in the FBI negotiation podcast, you could say, forgot about your anniversary? She'll be like, yeah, he did this, this, and this. Let her go on for a little bit and be like, man, that sucks. It sounds like he really doesn't appreciate you. And remember those things that are important to you, which kind of shows that maybe he doesn't care that much.

11:31 You'll be like, yeah, totally. You'll be like, well, you know, that sucks. It must be really difficult. I'm kind of facing the same thing, but it's the opposite. This girl's like too into it. It's like, relax, girl. Stalker Texas Ranger, man. Just blowing up my phone. Anyway, did you hear about this thing and this thing? Tell a story and then be like, listen, I got to get back to work. Have a good day. Boom, you just did all the right things. You showed pre-selection. You're dating some other girl.

11:55 You made her laugh by telling her an interesting story, giving her value. And then you let her complain about her boyfriend and you listen to her in the way that she wants to be listened to. And that's the thing too is you need to be the detective and pick up on clues on what she's not getting from her boyfriend and then be that guy. If he's too needy, you want to be standoffish. If he's not giving you enough attention, you want to give her the attention, not too much now, but give her the attention that she's lacking.

12:24 So you want to be that detective, pick up the clues and be the dude who she wants in her other guy. I remember I snatched this other girl off her boyfriend and he just wasn't attentive enough to her. Now, when she was complaining to me about that, it was a warning sign, but she was super fine. So I was like, okay, I'm just going to deal with it until I get, you know, I can do a one dip skip. But damn, dude, she was so my type, thin, blonde, straight hair, just smoking.

12:51 And her boyfriend was kind of a douche. You know, it didn't give her enough attention. So what I did is I realized that he wasn't listening to her well. So I listened to her well. But once again, I cut it off because I could feel that she was a complainer. I could feel that she wanted a guy to sit there and be her psychologist. Girl, I'm not going to be that for you, but I'll give you a little bit. I'll give you a little bit more than he does.

13:16 And then what happened is, dude, she broke up with him and she came with me. I was younger and I don't suggest doing what I did, but I dipped in a couple of times. She kind of had bad breath. So I blew her out. It was kind of fucked up. And I don't suggest you guys do that. And that's why you got to be very careful with these situations. Because another thing is if she's willing to drop her boyfriend for you, what's she going to do to you?

13:40 Right? What girls do to other guys, they're going to do to you. So if you're like cheating with a girl on her boyfriend and then you're like, okay, she's going to come with me. She's going to cheat on you. She's going to cheat on you. So I think of it as a warning sign. But once again, there are sometimes situations where it's a legitimate concern. The guy's an asshole. She wants the upgrade plan to you. And then you guys can upgrade. There's a lot of relationships that start that way.

14:07 And by the way, the majority of relationships start at work. Not for guys like me who go out and game a lot and cold approach. I meet most of my girls, you know, in my day-to-day life. And I do not suggest fishing off the company pier. You don't want to cheat where you eat. But for the majority of people, they meet their partner at work. And this question was actually posed to me by one of my clients because he's got a girl at work who's flirting with him.

14:33 She had a boyfriend. She just broke up with him. And he asked me, how do I do this? So when you're my client, I often record podcasts specifically for you based on your question. And that's what this is. Okay, so let's go over it again. First of all, no frontal assaults. Frontal assault means, you know, you should really break up your boyfriend and be with me. I treat you so much better, girl. I'm so much better than he is. He's an asshole. Why do you not want to do that?

14:58 Because she's going to get ensconced and defend him. The second she starts defending him, then she's rationalizing to herself that he's the better choice over you. Terrible way to do it. The best way to do it is to go under the radar. And by the way, Marissa, my girlfriend, is a really pretty girl. And any times guys try to frontally assault her and hit on her and stuff like that, I know they're no threat. The guy who's the threat is the guy who's like really cool and charming.

15:23 And he has lots of girls in his life. And he's not trying to get her. That's the guy I'm always kind of paying attention to. Now, me as a dating coach and an alpha male, I'm not fucking threatened by anybody. Whatever. Marissa, honestly, if you want to go date somebody else, go. It's your loss. That's the way I think of it. And because of that, I'm not jealous. But it's always the dude that flies under the radar. He's hella charming. He's hella charismatic. He's got girls in his life already.

15:49 He's probably already dating a girl. And he's just like this really cool alpha dude who listens to her. He cracks her up and then he's kind of out of her reach at the same time. That's the dude to be concerned about. And that's the dude who you want to be. So, again, this is a campaign. This isn't a one time thing. There is no eight magic words that are going to make her break up with your boyfriend, jump in the air and slide onto your dick.

16:14 It's not going to happen. This is a campaign. You need to take weeks, months, maybe even multiple months, like six months to do this. Very slowly, methodically be patient. In the meantime, you should be dating other girls. Remember, pre-selection. And it's okay for you to be dating other girls because she has a boyfriend. I don't want you to think like, well, wait a minute. If I'm dating other girls, isn't that going to turn her off? No, it's going to turn her on. Because, again, the pre-selection thing.

16:42 So, you give the value, you leave her on a high note, you kind of be out of her grasp, but at the same time, you give her what she's not getting from her boyfriend, you listen to her, you let her complain about her boyfriend just enough until you cut her off and then give her value and leave on a high note. You talk to her about problems you're having with the girl being too into you, kind of stalking you, and then eventually, she's going to start giving you the really big green light.

17:07 Well, usually what happens is she's going to break up with her boyfriend and she's going to tell you about it. So, hey, I broke up with James last night and you'd be like, oh, that sucks. What happened? Oh, this and that. Hey, I'm really sorry. If you need to talk about it a little bit more, let me know. Well, yeah, you know, like, how would you feel about going to lunch? But that's another thing. Like, do we really want to be the rebound guy? That's why I don't, I kind of don't like this whole thing is why, why do we have to go for a girl with a boyfriend?

17:33 There's so many chicks out there who are single. Okay, but let's say we are going to move forward with this. We don't want to be the rebound guy to avoid doing that. You say, listen, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm attracted to you. I like you. I think we hit it off. There's obviously get great chemistry here, but relationships that start fast and fast, particularly in a rebound situation. So let's just go ahead and chill. Let's wait a little while. Let's keep being friends, you know, see if there's still chemistry there.

18:00 And then who knows, you know, maybe a couple of weeks or a couple of months. We may want to hang out sometime. Sound good? And she'll be like, yeah. And then she'll keep pursuing you. Now that's what we want too, is that we value what we fight for and getting women to chase us is a really big thing. So she breaks up their boyfriend. You continue your campaign. Charisma bombs. You're a C-130 charisma gunship dropping charisma bombs like no tomorrow. And then she's getting more attracted.

18:26 And then eventually she's just going to be like, look, I really think we need to hang out. You know, this is dumb. And you'd be like, okay, with a little bit of trepidation, you go hang out. And then you guys bang like rabbits, man. It's just going to be on like that quickly. So that's the way to do it, boys. It's a campaign. You need to fly under the radar. You need to be a ninja. Don't do a frontal assault. Don't be just a big, dumb knuckle dragon Spartan and go straight into the war.

18:51 You got to be like a ninja. You got to come from the flank. You got to do it the smart way. Don't let her know that you're so much into her, but you kind of like her and you're her friend. And you can even like friend zone her, but as you're showing value, as you're showing pre-selection, her attraction is what you're going for. Not a rational argument that her boyfriend is a douche and she should break up with him. Make sense? All right. Thank you so much for listening, guys.

19:20 I do appreciate it. Once again, please jump over to my website, coachmarksing.com and grab your copy of the approach formula. While you're trying to yank this girl off her boyfriend, you'll be approaching other girls showing that pre-selection and probably getting dates in the meantime. And who knows? Maybe suddenly when you start getting dates, you'll realize that trying to get a girl to break up with her boyfriend isn't even worth the effort and you'll just date all the other girls that you're meeting. Personally, I think that's the way you should do it.

19:49 But once again, if you're in that specific situation, that's the protocol that you should deploy. Once again, thank you so much for listening and I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.