5 Genius Strategies to Make a Girl FEEL SAFE WITH YOU!

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I'm going to go ahead and skip all the advertising today, and we're just going to jump straight into the content. And so making a girl feel safe with you is one of the most important things in your seduction to actually get her to come over to your house, get her to sleep with you, put her in a state where she trusts you.

0:39 Because guys do a lot of shit that makes women not trust us, and that doesn't only mean using girls, basically pump and dump, but what it also means is that a lot of women have been sexually molested. A lot of women have been raped. In my own experience, I'd say about one out of three girls that I've either dated or talked to has said something has happened to her, and I've actually heard that the stats are worse than that. So let's first put ourselves in the shoes of women, okay?

1:07 They're smaller than us. They're typically not as strong as us on average. They have something that we all desperately want, and when we want it, and I'm sure you've experienced this too, we as men don't exactly think straight. You ever have that baby batter on the brain? You can't fucking think straight? Like, you can't even do gross motor skills, it seems like, because you get so fucking horny, you'd fuck a snake if you could hold it straight, and it's so hard for you to pull up that Pornhub premium that you're just clicking on all these wrong ads, and you can't focus, and you just want to get it in and get that nut off the brain, and you're just a fucking sea bass.

1:40 Well, that's what happens many times with men, and they'll do some shit, man, that, you know, makes women have issues with us, and I completely understand it. So in this episode, we're going to talk about how to prove to women that you are trustworthy, and obviously, boys, it goes without saying, don't be a fucking douche canoe to women, because I know there's guys listening right now that have done some shit, and hopefully you've moved past it, hopefully you've made your amends, hopefully you've realized that that's a horrible way to live, and that what you do to others will always come back to yourself.

2:09 And don't fucking do that to women, man. It's just not a good look, not a good way to live, and the good thing about life is you can always change. So if you've done that in the past, man, leave that in the past and move forward protecting women, giving value to them, admiring them, loving them, seeing them for the beautiful beings that they are, because they truly are, man, and they will add a ton of value to your life when you see them that way. So what we want to do when we date girls is immediately establish what I call trust and connection.

2:40 And here are five strategies to do so. Strategy number one, I found it really effective if I talk about my mom in a very loving, admirable way to women in the first conversation or in the first date. And this doesn't mean you gloating over your mom or telling her how amazing she is or you love her so much, making yourself look like a mama's boy. It's just communicating to her that you respect your mom, you're close with your mom, you do anything for your mom, and your little sister or big sister, for that matter, or your cousin or any female in your life, if you show a girl that you love the females in your life, you respect them, you appreciate them, and you protect them, that builds a lot of trust.

3:21 Number two is something I used to do all the time when I lived in a good situation to do so, which was to stop by my house momentarily with the girl who I'm on a date with before trying to get her to come into my house and stay in my house. So what I do is I purposely forget something at my house or say I have to turn something off, I left something on, or say, hey, I got to use the bathroom real quick, and I'll make my house near our first date site, and I'll bring her into my house if she's comfortable going in, and I'll always check with her like, hey, are you comfortable going in or would you rather wait outside?

3:55 If she wants to wait outside, that's no problem, which also creates a lot of trust. When I bring her in, I'll have like all the windows open, maybe some music will be on, maybe if I live with a roommate, he'll be there at that time, and I make it very quick, just dip in and dip out so that she can see that my place is a safe place so that when and if I try to pull her back to my place later, there's less resistance there because she's already been there.

4:21 So having an excuse to stop by your place and then duck out really quickly is super effective. All right, the third tip is to ask her if she'd feel comfortable doing XYZ when asking for the Hangout. So in my coaching, I have a Hangout template. The Hangout template is basically like, you say this, she's going to say this back. You say this, she's going to say this back, and then you move it into the date, and there's a part in there where I like to ask her if she'd feel more comfortable meeting there or if it's cool if I pick her up.

4:51 So when setting up the date, I set the precedence that, hey, let's go to this place. I'm going to either pick you up or we can meet there. Which one would you be more comfortable with? Now, the word comfortable makes women feel comfortable because they know that you're cognizant of her comfort, that you're cognizant of whether or not she's feeling a little bit of trepidation, whether or not she feels some danger with you, especially when meeting a dude off the apps. I mean, think about how sketchy that is, man.

5:18 Think about you're going to go hang out with some Sasquatch that wants to get into your underwear because he's so fucking horny that he'd do just about anything to have sex, and you have this prize that he wants, and he's way more powerful than you are. Like, this dude could just hold you down and take it from you anytime he wants. So when he shows that he's cognizant of your comfort, you're going to feel a lot more comfortable with him and be more willing to, A, of all, show up on the date.

5:44 B, of all, get into your car, perhaps, and even maybe let him pick you up. C, of all, go to his place. D, of all, start making out with the dude. Because let's not forget, when a guy starts making out with a woman, that logic, that brain in his head oftentimes gets taken over by the brain in his pants, and this is the reason for date rape. Guys, I have talked to so many girls about this. They have, in my experience, like two out of three have had some shit happen to them, whether it's date rape, whether it's a guy grabbing her vagina, which happened to somebody very close to me.

6:16 She was a model, and she was backstage with this dude, and he just walked up and fucking put his hand in her pants. Literally, she's just standing there, and the dude fucking puts his hand in her pants. A lot of guys, when they get power, will do shit like this, and a lot of women, particularly the beautiful ones, have had shit like this happen to them. Also, I want to make a quick point, and this may bum some of you out, but I think you deserve to know.

6:38 Almost every single woman, in fact, I'd wager that every single woman who does porn has had some shit happen to her. Now, this is a psychological reaction to trauma where you either abstain from sex completely, or you go into it completely, almost in a way to justify what happened to you as a kid. So it's a little bit sad to know that when you're watching porn, you know probably that girl was molested. She was probably raped. She's got a lot of really big issues surrounding sex, and this is more prevalent than you guys know.

7:10 And when you're cognizant of it, you can better react to women's resistance to you, lack of trust to you. Maybe sometimes they'll flake because you haven't built enough trust and connection. So always kind of be thinking of this. Is this girl comfortable? Am I creating a situation where she feels she can trust me? Now, naturally, I teach a lot of skills that kind of push women away. It teases them. It shows them you're not to be fucked with. Those all stand. But there's also something to be said about showing her, you know, you're vulnerable.

7:40 You're trustworthy. You can be chivalrous. You can be the protector of her, which also really does have its place and is super important. And a lot of guys misjudge just how important it is. So when asking for that first date, I say, hey, would you be more comfortable meeting there or are you cool if I pick you up? So as I'm putting together the date, obviously, the question of logistics comes up. Am I picking her up? Are we meeting there? Is she driving? Am I driving?

8:06 Or maybe you're like taking a train together. Like there's a myriad of different things that could happen. So being cognizant of her comfort is a huge communicator to her that she can trust you because no guys do that. No guys do that. They're like, hey, I'm going to come pick you up. We'll do this. We'll do that. And in my coaching, I always talk about leading. But there's a way to lead her to where she wants to be led that takes into consideration her comfort, takes into consideration her safety.

8:33 And that is massive, massive, massive for attraction. A woman will not have sex with you most times unless she trusts you. And for the majority of women, it takes about 10 to 13 hours of time with you to develop that trust. Now, this goes into my next point, number four, acts of chivalry. For example, opening the door for her when she comes up to your car. When it comes to that, I open the door for them when the door is kind of like on my way to the car, such as we're walking up to the car and we naturally walk up to the passenger side.

9:05 I'll open the door, let her in, shut the door, go around, get in my own door, and then take off. When the door is out of my way, sometimes I won't do it. It kind of depends. But being chivalrous is huge, boys. Absolutely massive to build attraction. Sometimes when I'm talking to a girl, I'll naturally open her in a place where there's a lot of traffic. And then about 30 seconds to a minute into the conversation, I'll move her to a place where we're not getting bumped around by traffic or move her underneath a heater in case it's like cold outside.

9:35 So maybe while we're talking, I'll be like, hey, you know, it's real cold out here. You want to move to that heater so you could be a little bit warmer? That shows her that I'm cognizant of her comfort, shows her that I'm thinking about her and how she's feeling, thus showing her that she can trust me because I'm there to take care of her. So there are these little things of chivalry. Now, of course, you could go too far with the shit, like hucking your jacket off over a fucking mud puddle as she's walking, ridiculous, saying certain things like trying to be a white knight and like rescuing her from other dudes who are hitting on her.

10:06 That's like low value shit, in my opinion. But just showing her, look, I'm cognizant of your comfort. The most obvious example is when you're outside and you have a jacket on and she doesn't, which happens many times when you meet girls at the nightclubs. You know, they're scantily dressed sometimes. And then you take off your jacket and you say, hey, you want this? And she wears your jacket. Big time, big time thing for building attraction, for building trust, for building that connection. All right, I alluded to this previously, but stories that you tell that talk about something you failed in and then you persevered past it.

10:38 So one story I tell is how my father died when I was 10 years old and I got really down on myself. I was like insulting myself, trying to get attention from my mom, who I felt didn't give me enough attention. She was kind of like off dating other people. So I started insulting myself as a way to get attention. And then my story of perseverance of growing out of that and how that made me into a better person. So anytime you tell stories, I want you to think about how can I show her that I was vulnerable at one time, that I had a really bad reaction to something or that something affected me negatively and I persevered past it.

11:14 That is really important for building trust and connection because she wants to see that you're real. And humility is the ability to admit that you were vulnerable at one point, but when it comes to telling stories to women, I do want you to tell stories of vulnerability, but really make note of this. It has to be a story where you triumphed over your ability in the end. A lot of you guys know that I had anxiety at one point. I had panic attacks. I had agoraphobia, which is the reason I'm so into NLP, neurolinguistic programming, because that shit saved me from it.

11:45 I tell the story about how I had panic attacks and agoraphobia and all that. God damn it, all these people texting me. Please hold. You think you silence your phone before you start a podcast, bro, and then you don't? Shit happens. All right, here we go. So I had all these panic attacks and I tell the story about it, but then I tell the story about how I persevered past it and I don't even have an inkling of anxiety anymore today. So that communicates that, okay, I'm willing to be vulnerable with you.

12:13 I'm willing to be real, quote unquote, with you. And when you show her that you're willing to do that, it shows trust. It shows, listen, girl, I trust you with this story so you can trust me with your safety is kind of like what it communicates. So telling stories of perseverance past adversity is massive for building traction, really important for building trust. And then if she does the same thing back to you, she has to justify in her own head why she's sharing those kinds of details in her life.

12:41 And then that builds a lot of trust. All right, the next one is any stories you have of rescuing a female. Now, again, this can't be too obvious. It can't be too like, hey, I'm trying to prove to you that I'm going to rescue you. But in my case, I often tell the story about how I was a bodyguard for strippers. A lot of you guys don't know this, but for a couple of years there, I drove around strippers and I was the bodyguard for them.

13:04 And I became really close with this girl. Her name was Dawn. We actually started hooking up. It was a fucking dumpster fire, bro. Here's a quick piece of advice. Never hook up with a stripper who's going to dudes' houses and fucking dancing over them on their bed as they jack off a nut all over their own belly button. Do not hook up with a girl like that because it was a dumpster fire, drama, fucking clusterfuck times 100. But I was a bodyguard for this chick, man. And even back then, I had some chivalry.

13:32 One thing about me is if my friends ever get in a fight, if somebody ever like talks shit to my woman or tries to hurt them, I will fucking fight immediately. I see red and I just go straight in. It's funny. I was also a bouncer. And anytime any of my buddies would get into a scuffle, I would just toss them out of the way. I would just like launch them and then get in the scuffle myself. It's just this instinct that I have. So I was driving this chick named Dawn.

13:55 Her and I were dating. And I hear her yelling from inside the apartment. Like I dropped her off. She's dancing for these two dudes. And I hear her yelling. So I go up to the apartment door and the door opens a little bit because she's trying to get out. But the dude's trying to hold her there. So I fucking push open the door. She runs past me. And then I get jumped by these two dudes, get fucking kicked in the gut, stomped in the head. And then I finally make it out of there to Dawn who's like trying in the car.

14:20 And then we zoom off. But it's the story I tell often where I save this stripper from fucking getting, I don't know, raped by these two dudes. And then that shows chivalry that I'm willing to go into battle for my women. And that's a true story, man. Like driving strippers was the most fucked up job. I had a gun held to my head. I got in a car chase. All kinds of shit happened. I saw a dude fucking wearing high heels and a garter belt with the disgusting old limp penis hanging underneath this gigantic 12-inch deldo as he stood in the doorway as I dropped off the stripper.

14:54 And I was like, good luck with that, girl. I actually think I told a story about that a few years ago. But while driving strippers, man, that heroism, that manliness, right, that masculinity would always come up in me. And you'll do some shit that would blow your mind when you're willing to protect somebody you care about. And that's what you should communicate to girls. Like, I am a protector. I go after those who try to hurt people I love. And you don't have to say it like to her.

15:19 Like, I will go after guys if they try to hurt you. You're not even making it about her. You're showing how you are through storytelling, stories of rescuing somebody, even a friend. It doesn't even have to be a girl. It could be a dude who you rescued in this specific situation, which is another story I tell, that shows that you're willing to sacrifice for those people you love. All right, gentlemen, and my final one, and this is actually number seven, is to not be so fucking pushy when you're trying to get physical with a girl.

15:50 So every single time, I will stop it before she stops it to do several different things. First of all, it gets them so goddamn horny, bro. They'll go home and look for anything, including a cucumber, to take care of themselves because this shit really gets them turned on. And this is part of my strategy where I'll make out with them, get it really hot and heated, and then say, hey, that's it for me tonight. I have an early morning tomorrow morning. Let's go ahead and get you home.

16:15 When you do that, it makes them really turned on. Secondly, it makes them more into you because you're kind of being a challenge. And what guy stops physical escalation before she stops it? Like almost no dudes do it. This shit works so extremely well to get them turned on and thinking about you and wanting to come over the next time. And the third reason I do this is to build that all-important trust and connection so that she can feel safe with me. Because if I've already proved that I'm willing to stop things when they're heating up and send her home, she's going to know without a doubt that I'm not going to like date rape her or try to do something malicious to her in any other way whatsoever because I was already in that situation with him.

16:55 He didn't try to do anything. In fact, he stopped it and sent me home. And she's going to question, did my breath stink? Was I a bad kisser? Like what's going on? And we want them a little bit off their inner balance point when thinking of you because, dude, this turns them on so much. I actually just had a client text me and he's like, Mark, I did the technique where I made out with her last night. She's been texting me all day, sending me nude pictures, wanting to suck my dick, like just begging to come over to have sex.

17:21 That's because it hits all those attraction trigger points and it builds that all important trust and connection, which you guys have to do with these chicks if you want them to have sex with you. So a lot of you guys have girls blow you out and you don't understand why. You're like, dude, I thought I was doing great. I thought we were hitting it off really well and suddenly she just ghosted me. Think about your trust and connection. Did you make her feel safe with you?

17:44 Because again, the majority of girls, and yes, I'm willing to put this out there, the majority of women have had some shit happen to them, especially if they're attractive. As unfortunate as that is, the more attractive the girl, the higher chance of some dude trying to do some shit to her, especially things like date rape or just normal rape or when she was a kid, you know, she could have been a cute little kid. You get some sick motherfucker that molests her and then she's got this issue the rest of her life, which I know 90% of you guys listening have come up against with girls.

18:15 Girls not wanting to give you a blowjob because they had some like really bad blowjob experience. Girl not wanting you to be on top of her missionary style because she's been raped like that before. I've had all things under the sun happen. A lot of guys, and hopefully not a lot of you guys listening, but a lot of guys have some dysfunction when it comes to their sexuality. They hate women in a lot of different ways because they've been rejected by women, so they just go take that shit.

18:43 Or they have some sick thing where they're attracted to children and they get along with them and they fucking molest them. And this is why I will never fucking leave my daughter with the dude who I do not know very goddamn well will not touch her. Like I'm going to vet the shit out of these guys. I'm going to make goddamn sure that under my watch, nothing is happening to this little girl. Because again, I am a protector, hopefully just like you are. And when it comes to my daughter, that's the number one person I'm here to protect.

19:10 So boys, I want you to go out into life thinking about how much women have to go through when it comes to dudes. How small the most of them are compared to us and not strong compared to us and usually can't defend themselves compared to us. Especially if you get a really strong dude. Thinking about how probably one out of three women have had some shit happen to them. I'm willing to say it's more like two out of three women, based on my own experience, have had some shit happen to them.

19:36 So naturally, they're going to have some trepidation. It's our job to go in there and show her, hey, I'm not like those other dudes. I'm a good fucking dude with a good heart in my chest and a good head on my shoulders. I'm going to take care of you. And if and when you're privileged enough to kiss me, I'm going to end it before you can. To show you that, hey, I'm not dependent on this. I'm willing to let it go and you can be safe with me.

19:59 Then trust me, guys, if you do that, you're not going to have girls blow you out because you didn't build enough T and C, trust and connection. So goddamn important. Gentlemen, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. I do appreciate you listening. Make sure to stay tuned for my podcast dropping on Monday. It's a really good one. And make sure to go through some of my previous podcasts. Feel like I've been on a bit of a roll lately. So check those out. If you leave me a review, email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com, five-star review.

20:28 And I will send you a bunch of cool shit, including the Conversation Sniper, Guide to the Female Orgasm, and three texts to build massive attraction in women. I appreciate you listening, and I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.