Attraction Booster 1000: QUALIFYING!!!!

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What's up, guys? Happy Monday. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UNP. I really do appreciate it. And today, we are going to talk about qualifying. Qualifying is the fourth pillar of what I teach, the four pillars of attraction. The first pillar being frame control, the next one being value, the third one being sexual tension, and now finally, we arrive at qualifying.

0:43 If you haven't heard my podcast about the four pillars of attraction, just kind of search four pillars of attraction and I go over these very briefly. But today, I'm going to go in-depth on the fourth one, and this is an attraction booster like no other. This gets girls ridiculously attracted to you. We're going to explain what to say to her, how to do this, why it works psychologically in her psyche to make her more attracted to you, and then how to pivot that into a phone number, into a date.

1:12 And when you do this, guys, you're going to get far less flakes. You're going to be ghosted way less. Not only is she going to want to hang out with you, but it's probably going to be her that suggests it. So a big problem with a lot of guys is they don't do this. They don't know what it is. So we're going to teach it to you today. You're going to add it to your repertoire of attracting women, and you're going to get way more success because you're going to add in qualifying.

1:36 Before I jump into the content, I want to thank all of you for the awesome, spectacular reviews that you've been leaving, especially you guys who are writing text behind it. I want to let you know, I don't see that you left me a review if you just hit like the five stars. I only see it when you actually write some text behind it, and those are the ones I'm really going for here. So if you leave me a review, go ahead and email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com, and I will send you the Conversation Sniper Guide to the Female Orgasm, three texts to build massive attraction in women, as well as several videos.

2:09 I'll smack you on the ass, and I'll probably also include a few extra gifts in there that will wow your friends and baffle your enemies. So please leave me a review, and even if you can't do it, like sometimes you guys are on different podcast apps, if you just tell a friend about it, or whatever it may be, try to help me out in any way whatsoever, email me, and I'll send you that stuff. All right, what do you say we jump into the content? So qualifying is based on a psychological concept called cognitive dissonance.

2:40 Now what is this? Cognitive dissonance means that we like things that we tend to work for. So if you save up for a pair of sunglasses, like you really want this cool pair of sunglasses, they're $250, and you save up for a couple weeks to get them, you go to the store and you buy them with your hard-earned money, you're going to really value those sunglasses. You'll have a far less chance of losing them, scratching them. You're going to take really good care of them. Whereas if somebody gave them to you for a present, you'll still like them, but you're not going to value them nearly as much.

3:12 So we value what we work for. In addition to this, our attitudes are based on our actions. So I have a degree in psychology, and this is one of the very few things that I remember from my four-year education at a college. There's two things I remember, one of which is getting rejected by girls, the next of which is my social security number. And I remembered a few psychological techniques like this one that play heavily into people's cognition. But really, when I learned NLP, that's when I really got good at psychological type stuff.

3:45 But man, four-year university degree, in my opinion, kind of a waste of time. Different podcast, but maybe that's something I'll do in the future. So the way we work is this, is that our attitudes are based on our actions. So let's say, for example, that you absolutely hate snakes. Okay, and you're driving along, and you see that there's a snake in the middle of the road. And you're like, oh man, that stupid snake's going to get killed. So you pull over, and you grab the snake, and you pull him aside, and you save his life.

4:13 Well, when you drive away, you're actually going to like snakes more than before you pulled over. Because you took the time to save that snake's life. So in your psychology, you have to justify to yourself why you did so. And you'll literally convince yourself that, oh, I like this snake more than I did before. And then suddenly, your appreciation of snakes will go to a new level. You see how that works? So what we do with women is we want to get them to try to work for us.

4:41 And qualifying is a sales term that means making the prospect work for you, making the prospect explain themselves to you. So you'll often see this when they're selling you a car, or when you're trying to apply for a house, or any kind of big investment. You have to qualify. You have to pre-qualify for a loan. You have to pre-qualify to get this house. And really, it's just a sales technique. Like, you make the prospect explain themselves to you. So they're psychologically convincing themselves they want the car, the house more than they might actually do.

5:11 They're more likely to buy it. So this is what we do with women, is we make them work for us. Now, big, big part of this is this. The reason why it's the fourth and final pillar is because it cannot come until she is attracted. If you try to qualify a woman, that is, make her work for you, before she's somewhat attracted to you, she's not going to do it. So in this episode, I'm going to give you things to say to women to spur them to explain themselves to you.

5:40 And then I'm going to tell you how to reward what they did, and then how to pivot that into further attraction-building conversation, into a phone number, etc. So when you're in the conversation, you're talking to the girl, and you deploy the first three pillars, right? Frame control always needs to be the umbrella of your conversations, the skeleton, the structure. Then you have value, which is giving her a good conversation, being funny, being playful, push-pull, all the great gambits that I teach, storytelling, all that stuff. Then we have sexual tension, which I've talked about a little bit in this podcast, and I'll continue to talk about, get her sexually attracted.

6:17 And then when you see, okay, she's into it, then you can ask one of the following questions. And here's the first one, and this is my favorite one, that I pretty much typically use every time I talk to a girl, which is this. So Kelly, as I'm sitting here talking to you, you seem like a pretty cool girl. What would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? Okay, so she's going to say, oh, I'm loyal, I'm a great friend, I do this, that, and the other.

6:41 Then what I do after she jumps through that hoop is I will explain like a hypothetical story. And that is another podcast I'm going to do, hypo stories. But I'll say something along the lines of, so if your friend was stuck in the middle of the desert, her car breaks down, it's 3 a.m., she's an hour away, you'd get up in the middle of the night, jump in your car and go get her. And she'd be like, yeah, I totally do that. Now, when a woman, and this is really important, when a woman jumps through your hoop, when she explains herself to you, you need to reward that.

7:11 You need to reward it. So if you say, oh my God, that's gay, and you try to be playful at the wrong time, you're going to be miscalibrated. So we reward that by being real and being like, you know what, that's pretty cool. I actually consider loyalty one of the most important things, one of the most important values in a woman. So I respect that. That's cool. High five or something like that. So we ask the question, when she jumps through the hoop, then we reward her for it.

7:36 Now, quick little side note. If she's not attracted to you enough yet, she's not going to jump through your hoop. She's going to say something of like, I don't know, or I don't want to talk about it. And that's why we have to get her attracted to us before we can try qualifying. But qualifying is an attraction booster. It like will 10x her attraction for you, especially if you can get her to really sell herself to you. Now, a lot of girls will like explain how good they are at giving blowjobs, how loyal they are as a girlfriend, how good they are at getting sex.

8:07 And I've literally had girls beg for my phone number after I qualified them. So I'd say something like that, right? Like, what would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? Get her qualifying. And then I might be like, what else are you good at? And see how far I can push it. If she's sitting there like explaining herself to you, selling herself to you, she's getting more and more attracted. It's like literally pouring gasoline on a fire. And then the next thing you know, she's like, so we should hang out sometime.

8:33 So why don't you give me your phone number? And like, I've been like, I've literally done this. Like, nah, I don't think so. Like, I don't really know you good enough yet. Like, do you really think we should hang out? And I've had girls beg for my phone number. And I'm not trying to brag. I'm just letting you guys know that you can do this too. And you can do this when you deploy the fundamental principles. Once again, frame control, value, sexual attention, qualifying. So many guys miss this.

8:59 So many guys go in and just like do bullshit conversation, hardly get her attracted and ask for the phone number. It's like you're not dealing with a hot enough fire there. We need to really get the fire hot. And when you combine these four pillars, this is what really gets them smoking hot, really raises their buying temperature. And you guys who struggle with getting ghosted, you guys who struggle with girls not replying to your texts or being ho-hum, this is why. You're simply not getting enough attraction.

9:27 No fault of yours. It has nothing to do with your worth as a man. You just didn't know this. But now that you know this, you're going to go deploy it and you're going to have awesome results with it. All right, let's get into some more qualifying questions. Another thing I'll say is, what's good about you beyond your looks? Like, you know what, Kelly? You're obviously really pretty, but there's a lot of pretty girls here in Denver. So like, what's good about you beyond your looks?

9:50 Okay, so that's one. Another one is, do you like to cook? Because honestly, the way to my heart is through awesome cooking. What can you make? And then she might start explaining how good of a cook she is or how she makes this, that, and the third. Any bit of effort that you can get her to put into trying to sell you is awesome. All right, here's another one, slightly different. You could be like, so Kelly, you know, I don't like girls who lie. You don't lie, do you?

10:17 And she'll be like, no, I don't lie. I'm really honest. You'd be like, good, because I don't get along with liars like me. And then she'll laugh. So that's one way to set it up. Another way to set it up is to say, so why don't you have a boyfriend? It's probably because you have like a horrible personality, huh? Like you're so not fun to hang out with. Or why don't you have a boyfriend? Is it because like you're really mean? Or do you like actually treat your guys really nicely?

10:39 And she'll be like, oh, I totally treat my guys nice. I do this and this. And you'd be like, oh, really? So like, would you do this in this situation? And she'd be like, oh, yeah, totally. Now she's selling herself to you. You see how this works? So what you're doing is you're baiting the qualification or you're straight up asking her. Now, if she refuses to talk about it, okay, you say, so, so why don't you have a boyfriend? Is it because you're like, don't treat guys well?

11:01 Or you got like a bad temper or something? And she'll be like, I don't know. Then you know she doesn't care. She's not trying to win you over because she's simply not attracted to you. So what do you do then? You go back to value building techniques, which is storytelling, making her laugh, busting her chops, push, pull, all the stuff that I teach, right? Cold reading. And then she's going to get more attracted to you. And then you can try it again. Now, if she never gets there, honestly, it's kind of a bad sign.

11:28 I got to the point where I wouldn't even ask for the phone number unless she was qualifying herself to me because I found that even if I did get the phone number, which you can, you can get phone numbers like pretty easily, but bro, it doesn't mean you're getting a date. In fact, I'd say if you just go out and ask for phone numbers, you could probably get a wide variety of phone numbers with almost zero dates because you're not heating up that coal of attraction enough.

11:53 I like to liken it to like a coal. You got to blow on it, get it hot, and then it erupts the tinder bundle into flames, right? That's the way that it works with attraction. You have a little bit of a coal. You ask for the phone number. Yeah, you're going to get it probably because she wants to get you off her back. But unless you really, really deploy these techniques, get her really attracted, she's just not going to call you. It's easier to block somebody and God knows I do it myself than to like say no to a phone number.

12:19 So we need to stop thinking like the phone number is the end all be all. No, what the end all be all is her attraction, leaning in, playing with her hair, explaining herself to you. I'm telling you, if you can get her to explain herself to you, it's over. I can almost guarantee she's going to go on a date with you. So use these. All right, so a quick side note on this is can you qualify a woman right off the bat? Yes. Now, what I mean by qualify a woman right off the bat is almost like open with a qualifying question.

12:50 Now, how can we do this? We do this when she's given us the obvious green light before we've even started speaking to her. So you'll find oftentimes when you're getting really good at game and specifically in the bars and nightclubs, if you have a lot of girls with you and you're killing it, lots of girls are getting attracted, there's a line of chicks wanting to talk to you. There's going to be a few girls that are just jocking you super hard from the corners, right? And those are actually the best girls because they're the ones who are highly in their feminine energy.

13:16 They're not going to come up to you. They're going to wait for you to approach them, but they're going to give you super big green lights. So I'll always be looking around. Like when I'm talking to girls, bro, this is really important too. When I'm talking to a girl and she's really attracted to me, I'm looking around to see what other girls are attracted to me to plan my next opens because those girls who are attracted to you are going to be staring at you like death stare.

13:39 It's really crazy in female psychology. They get really jealous. They're thinking to themselves, why is he talking to her? I'm so much hotter than she is. And then they just like, dude, they're just staring at you. Now, if she's doing that, you can open with the qualifying question. If she jumps through your hoop, you're fucking golden. Like she's already there. You just skipped freaking value, sexual tension. You'll get back to those eventually, but you can skip straight to qualifying. And the way I do that is I walk up, I'm like, hey, what's up?

14:09 Who are you? Who are you? That's what I'll often say. I won't say something like, hey, I saw you from sitting over there. What's good about you beyond your looks? That's a little too much of my opinion, but who are you is the go-to one that I always do. And if she's like, oh, like I'm Sarah and I'm this and that, and she starts explaining herself to you, huge for attraction. It's on. You could probably snag her phone number super quick. Although, and this goes into subsequent podcasts that I'm going to do, unless you build up enough rapport, connection, and have her work for you enough, then she's probably not going to text you back because she's thinking, why does this guy even want me?

14:48 I didn't display any personality. He knows nothing about me. So there's a reason not to go for a phone number too quickly either. Now, that goes into another important point, which is this. Qualifying makes her feel like you want her for her, not just for her looks. And that's so important. I want to say it again. Qualifying makes her think that you want her for more than just her looks. Why? Because she's working for you. So you say, so Kelly, you know, loyalty is really important to me.

15:17 Are you like a loyal person? She'll be like, oh yeah, for sure. You know? And you'd be like, well, what would you do in this situation? And she's like, oh, I would do X, Y, and Z. Now you reward that. And now she's feeling like, okay, I'm winning him over. And I'll actually pretend to get attracted to her like a lot once she's worked for me, once she's explained herself to me. Obviously, I'm attracted to her initially. She's hot. And for us guys, let's be honest, the looks are really important.

15:42 So we're attracted to her. But when she like, quote unquote, jumps through my hoops, explains herself to me, then I'll be like, you know what? You're fucking pretty dope. Like, I actually really respect you. You seem like a cool girl. Why don't you toss me your number and let's catch up some other time. And it like comes from your decision. All right, here's a technique I really love to use when a girl qualifies herself to me. So I'll be like, so Kelly, what's good about you beyond your looks?

16:05 And she'd be like, oh, I'm really loyal. I'm really fun. I have a great personality. I'm funny. Blah, blah, blah. Girl answer, right? Whatever she says. Then I will reward that. I'll be like, whoa, that's actually really cool. You know what? You just went up 10 points in my book. You are now at negative 30. Congratulations. And then she'll like slap me on the arm and it's like a joke. So it's, this works into push, pull. Pushing her away half the time, pulling her in half the time.

16:30 Now, once again, with the push, you're being sarcastic. You're just being fun. But see, I pulled her in because I said, you know what? That's pretty cool. I actually really respect that about you. I pulled her in, didn't I? Gave her a compliment. Now I'm going to playfully push her away by saying, you just went up 30 points in my book. You are now at negative 50. Congratulations. Okay, so let's spitball this from the beginning. I know things get confusing. What you do once she's attracted is you ask her this.

16:57 Just use this one. Okay? You know what, Kelly? As I'm sitting here talking to you, you seem pretty cool. What would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? She buys into it. She says, oh, I'm loyal. Oh, really? So if your best friend were at a party and some guy was drunk and trying to hit on her, you drive like an hour and a half to go pick her up and you wouldn't even question that, huh? And she'd be like, oh, totally. I'd do that.

17:18 And you'd be like, you know what, that's pretty cool. I really appreciate people who are loyal. In fact, for me, loyalty is one of the most important things. So good job on that. You just went up 10 points in my book. You are now at negative 33.336. Congratulations. She's like, shut up. Okay, so that's how it works. Steal it. Use it. Really important. Few side notes. If a girl tries to qualify you, what do you do? Okay, so you're talking to her and she's like, what's good about you beyond your looks?

17:47 She literally does one of these back to you. What do you do? Well, if you've listened to my content for any amount of time, you know that you should make a joke about it and don't answer it. Because if you try to explain yourself to a woman, if you jump through her hoop, that is one of the worst things you can do because it's showing that she has a stronger frame than you do. It's showing that she's putting a hoop out there in front of you.

18:12 She's wanting you to jump through it. Explain yourself to her. Don't do it. Make a joke out of it. So when a girl says, what would your best friend say is the best thing about you? I always make it some stupid thing like, oh, I'm a really good sleeper. So good at sleeping. Like when my head hits the pillow, gone. And then I wake up in the same position in the morning. Don't even move. I'm just in the G spot all night long. Okay. I don't jump through her hoop.

18:38 What's good about you beyond your looks? I'm really good at blinking. Like I'm an amazing blinker. In fact, I'm enrolling in the 2020 Florida Blinking Championships here at the end of August. I'm definitely taking it. Watch. Watch my eyes. I just blinked a hundred times. You didn't even see it. And like your eyes are open the whole time and she laughs. What this is, is deflection. She's trying to make you jump through a hoop. You're not buying into it. Instead, you're making a joke. Now, as all things work with seduction, here's another caveat.

19:09 And I want you to really pay attention to this. If you qualify her, hey, what's good about you beyond your looks? She answers it. Genuinely. Okay. Should you or should you not qualify yourself to her if she asks you the same question? Which she's likely to do. Okay. Kelly, what's good about you beyond your looks? Oh, I'm loyal. You know what? That's really cool. High five. I think that's awesome. You went out 10 points in my book. You're now at negative 36. Then she asks you, what's good about you beyond your looks?

19:39 Now, do you deflect or do you answer it? Because remember, we're also needing to build trust and connection here. Well, here's what I do is if she's jumping through my hoops, then I'll jump through hers after I make a joke about it. So, if she's not jumping through my hoops yet, all I do is make a joke and then I pop past it. Chick, I'm not answering your question. I'm not going to fucking qualify myself to you until you've qualified yourself to me. But if she has qualified herself to me, then I will qualify myself to her in the right way.

20:13 So, here it goes. I ask her, what's good about you beyond your looks? She says, I'm loyal. I say, it's cool. You went up 30 points. Then she says, well, what about you? What's good about you beyond your looks? I'll be like, well, first of all, thank you for telling me I have nice looks. I appreciate that. But what I'm really good at, Kelly, and I'm amazing at this, is standing. Watch, pay attention. Did you see that? I just stood. Amazing. And she kind of cracks up and be like, no, real talk.

20:39 I'm actually loyal too. I think loyalty is really important. And if my friend were in a bad situation, I'd seriously wake up in the middle of the night, go get him. No questions asked. I'm actually a really loyal person. Okay, so what we did there was the perfect mixture of being funny but at the same time building trust and connection. She can trust us. She can connect with us. And remember, she's thinking the whole time, yeah, I'm attracted to him but what if I introduce him to my parents?

21:07 So it's these little things that you embed to show her that you're a real dude but you have to do it at the right time. And if you do too much of it, you're going to lose her attraction. It's a really, that's why I love this niche, man, is that it's complicated, it's difficult, but bro, like once you get it down, you almost have a superpower and not only with women, okay, also with life. This works with everything, especially sales is qualifying people, making people jump through your hoops, explain themselves to you.

21:39 This works in friendships, it works in sales, it works in business arrangements, it works when you're going to rent an apartment, when you're going to buy a car off Craigslist. All this shit works and applies to that because we're social creatures and these principles apply over all avenues of social interaction. So yeah, you came to this podcast because you want to, you know, get your dick sucked but ultimately, this is making you a better man. Qualifying is huge. Never qualify yourself to a person, especially a woman, if she tries to get you to jump through the hoop before she does.

22:12 If she does already, then you can reciprocate by doing it for her too. I hope that makes sense but qualifying guys is ultimately what really breathes fire into an attraction building conversation. You can do it really easily. What's good about you beyond your looks? What would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? The way to my heart is through cooking. Are you a great cook? I like girls who are loyal. Are you loyal? You're probably a bad kisser. That's why you don't have a boyfriend, huh?

22:42 And then suddenly, she's talking about how good she is at kissing. Also, and this is a final note, if you can get a girl to extend effort towards you in dating, that's really, really powerful. So what's better? You guys live half an hour away. Is it better for her to drive to your house or you to drive to her house? Okay? After this podcast, you should know. Try to get her to come to you because every minute she's sitting in that car, she's justifying to herself, remember, that all-important concept of cognitive dissonance, she's justifying to herself why she's doing it.

23:14 And she's thinking, well, it must be because I really like him. So that half an hour that she drove to your house, she's getting more and more attracted to you. This is awesome for getting girls attracted to you. Always try to get them to do your favors. Always try to get them to work for you. It's going to build massive, massive attraction. All right, guys, that's it for me in this podcast. If you found any value whatsoever in this material, please go ahead and leave me a review, preferably a five-star review with some writing behind it.

23:41 Once I read it, I will send you a silent thank you. And if you could email me after you do that, I will send you a bunch of programs that will take your game to the next level. All right, guys, thank you so much for listening and I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.