Female Dating Coaches Are Lying to You! Make Girls Feel Special? NOOOOOO!

0:00 Little girl, I will be recording a podcast for the next 20 minutes. So while you come into the kitchen to make your lunch, silence peasants! I'm recording a banger for the boys. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to yet another hard-hitting episode of the UMP. And for any of y'all who hyper-extended your vagina when hearing that text message I composed to Marissa, my woman, relax.

0:44 I was just kidding, man. Marissa and I fuck with each other all the time. It was just a joke. Don't get all pissed off. I know a lot of women listen to this. And just wait, dude, with eager anticipation to come completely unpeeled and get mad at me about something that I say. And then send me some angry email just representing the anger in their own life and just telling me how pissed off they are and how much their life really sucks when they do that.

1:09 So I'm just kidding. Marissa fucks with me all the time in the same way, man. She calls me peasant all the time, too. And that's why our relationship is so good. It's because we can laugh. So lighten up, people. It's just a joke. Before I jump into the content, I want to tell you guys a quick story, which is why I want to record this episode in the first place. So I went to a movie the other night with my daughter. It was called Elemental or something like that.

1:31 It's a Pixar cartoon that we went to for my three-and-a-half-year-old daughter on Father's Day. How great Father's Day was where what do we do? We do everything my three-and-a-half-year-old daughter wants to do. Great job, Dad. You get to go watch a cartoon that you're, like, completely not interested in. But all jokes aside, having a kid is absolutely fulfilling. I highly suggest it. So we're in the theater last night watching this movie, and it's a love story. So in the love story, there's a girl who's made of fire, and there's a boy who's made of water, and they fall in love.

2:01 Okay? Really sweet. And just like Disney always likes to do, of course, there's a gay couple in the movie because Disney always likes to push their agenda on small children who need to be shown that people can be gay because they're three-and-a-half years old. And that's the perfect time to teach them. So as the movie's going, this guy who's water, who seduces this woman, who's fire, he's a complete fucking pussy, right? The guy is just all sentiment. He's all emotions, and he cries a lot because, like, he's made of water, and the water comes out of his tears.

2:30 And I keep looking over at Marissa, and I'm like, bro. And she turned to me once, and she's like, Mark, don't work right now. Just watch the goddamn movie. And when she said don't work, it's because I'm always analyzing what works and what doesn't work for attraction. But if you see that movie, boys, that guy never in a thousand years would have seduced that woman. Now, this goes into a little bit of what I want to talk about today, which is not taking the advice of female dating coaches who are telling you to make girls feel special.

3:01 This goes into a different story where I was on Instagram, and I do follow other dating coaches, and I was looking at one of the posts that one of the female dating coaches posted. And while I agree with a lot of what she says, and she's a good dating coach, this was complete crap. And she was basically saying, you need to make the girl feel so goddamn special. She's the only girl in the world for you. You're completely focused on her. She is your entire world.

3:26 Now, this was represented as things tend to go. There's always serendipitous coincidences in my life that I'm very much paying attention to. In the movie that I saw last night, this guy, made of water, said that he never felt happiness until this girl came into his life. Now, mind you, they've been hanging out for like two weeks, and he's completely sprung on this chick, and he's just making her feel like she's absolutely number one in his heart. Now, there is a time to do this, and I'm going to get into that in this episode, but be very careful about what some dating coaches tell you, specifically female dating coaches.

4:01 Now, you guys know that Marnie of the Wing Girl Method is my girl. Her and I are best buds. We text all the time. She's the real deal. She knows what the fuck she's talking about. But a lot of times when female dating coaches come along who get all these Instagram followers because they're hot, and which is ridiculous to me as a male dating coach, because a lot of times they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. They're looking at it from their perspective, so they have one person's perspective to see what gets them attracted.

4:28 And since attraction is not a choice, they don't always know what the fuck they're doing. Whereas with male dating coaches, which, by the way, in this space, I strongly suggest going with a male dating coach, such as myself, Tripp Kramer, and other champions out there, not including Marnie. Marnie is the real deal. But I strongly suggest following us because we've had real experiences with thousands of women, and we know what works and what doesn't work. We understand female psychology from the perspective of having dealt with it from the outside perspective, not being wrapped up into it.

4:59 Now, that being said, a quick caveat, most of which female dating coaches say is correct. Why? Because a lot of shit's very obvious. But this, when I heard make her feel special, was horrible fucking advice, at least in the beginning, and I want to get into that today. So, the reason it's horrible advice is because unless she's feeling that same way about you, you do not want to confess your love to a woman. Tell her that she completes you. Tell her that your life was completely unfulfilling until she came into it, which is what that dude did in the movie.

5:32 Now, what happened in the movie? The girl realized she felt the same way. They fell in love, lived happily ever after, right? Typical Disney bullshit. So, the rule that this works into that I try to teach you guys time and time again is what? That's right, the 80-100 rule. Now, it should be called the 8-10 rule, but as an American, bigger is better. So, I went ahead and named that thing the 80-100 rule. And basically, what that means is this. Out of 100% of what she's giving you, you want to give her 80% back.

6:03 So, when they talk about making a girl feel special, the reason you don't want to do that is because oftentimes, she doesn't feel the same way about you. And until she does, you need to hold yourself back from making her feel like she's the only girl for you, that she completes you. She fills in that hole in your heart, and your tears will be used as lubricant for sex. Complete fucking bullshit. And this is blown out guy after guy after guy who confessed their love to a woman, leave a poem on her car like I did when I was in college.

6:35 Yes, boys, I hate to admit it, but there was this super hot blonde in one of my college classes. I left a fucking flower and a poem on her car. I did it. I admit it. It's wholly embarrassing. And she fucking laughed at me the next day. She's like, you would have absolutely no chance with me. And what did I do? I cried like a schoolgirl on the corner of my bed in the cannonball position and then masturbated to a picture of her in a puddle of my own tears because I was that pathetic.

7:01 So when I hear this advice from well-meaning dating coaches to make the girl feel absolutely special and that she completes you, I have to say I disagree with that. Completely disagree with that because until she feels that same way about you, it's going to be gross to her as it was to that girl who I confess my love to. Why is it gross to her? Because she doesn't feel the same way. What's it like when, let's say, a friend is way more into you than you are into him?

7:28 And then he gets butt hurt to boot because you don't call him enough. He calls you a betrayal flake. He's completely emotional, which, by the way, is from neglect in his childhood. And now he's putting it onto you. And you're like, bro, why are you doing this to me? I don't feel the same way. Like, relax. Let's just text once a week or let's not even, like, text until there's actually something to do. I've had so many guy friends get butt hurt because I didn't give them the attention that they wanted, which, again, came from neglect, probably from their mom or their dad.

7:58 And then they do this to women, too. They become needy. So what happens, unfortunately, is advice is given in this way and it blows dudes out. And then they get further heartbroken. And then they become resentful towards women. So the 80-100 rule is there to help you manage your emotions because we all know what it's like when you know you shouldn't contact a girl. You know you shouldn't try to invite yourself over to her place. But there's just something inside you that wants to see her so bad that you break the rule.

8:27 You call her and you try to weasel your way into her house. And then a few weeks later, she breaks up with you. Brother, I'm not criticizing you if you've done this because I've done it myself. I remember when I lived in Hawaii, I was dating this really cute Japanese girl. And I was super into her. She was into me, too. But I felt myself slipping away from the 80-100 rule where I should have only been given her 80% of what she wanted from me. I wanted to give her 125% because she was really independent.

8:53 So I remember I was riding my motorcycle home one night and I went across the street from her house and I stopped my bike. I turned it off and I was like, man, I just want to see her so bad, bro. I just want to go have sex. I just want to get in the cuddle puddle and just indulge in this fucking banging ass Japanese chick. And I said to myself, there was like a voice in the back of my head that was like, motherfucker, turn on this bike and go fucking home right now.

9:15 So that's what I did. I managed myself through the 80-100 rule and I was able to keep this girl until I decided to break up with her because that's what keeps girls interested. Why does it keep girls interested? Because the person who wants less is the one who's in power. And I want to say that again because it's so goddamn important. The person who wants less – and really think about this. I really want you to get this – the person who wants less in any relationship, be it a friendship or a dating relationship, is the one who's in power.

9:45 The one who's in power is in the masculine role. You, my friend, have to be in the masculine role in order for a woman to maintain attraction for you. So look, I know it sucks. Sometimes you want to hang out with these girls more than she wants to hang out with you, but you fucking have to control yourself. Tell that red-helmeted warrior in your underwear to stand down Sergeant Horny. You're fucking going on a break tonight. We are not going to see this girl. Now what happens is – and this comes from the bad dating advice from largely female dating coaches.

10:14 Not always female dating coaches, but largely, and I'm sure some male dating coaches say this too, to make her feel like she's the most special girl in the world. If you do that too soon before she's ready to make you feel like the most special man in the world, then she's going to blow you out so hard. Your balls are going to fly up when the concussion hits and wrap around your fucking face because that's how unbelievably unattractive it is when you confess your love and make them feel too special too soon.

10:43 Now that being said, okay, here's a caveat to this. When dealing with women and when you're dealing with multiple women, you want to make each one feel like they are the special one compared to all the other ones you're talking to. So if you're like me and you go to the nightclubs, and this happened to me just this weekend, I still go to the nightclubs even though I have a girlfriend. I still flirt with girls. I still get them attracted to me, get them wanting me because I'm a dating coach, and frankly, I enjoy it.

11:10 And Marissa doesn't mind because Marissa's securing herself and she knows I would never cheat on her, which I wouldn't. I have more honor than a fucking Spartan phalanx, and you should too. If you tell a woman you're not going to cheat on her, don't fucking cheat on her. That's what a man does. That's what masculinity is. It has honor and integrity. So I'm talking to all these girls last weekend. Other girls see me talking to these girls, and they accuse me of being a player. So what do you guys think I say when I'm accused of being a player?

11:37 I either say, yeah, I'm an awesome player. I actually play right midfield on my soccer team. I scored a goal last week. It was awesome. Or I say, yeah, I'm such a player. I got nine numbers tonight, one more, and I would have had a full phone number. Either agree and amplify or misinterpret. Okay, so I frame control what they say, but then I say this, and this is where I agree with certain female dating coaches that say to make the girl feel special. I say, you know what?

12:03 I am talking to a lot of girls. I'm a social guy. If that threatens you, I'm afraid I can't help you with that. But there is one thing I want to tell you. You do seem different than the rest of the girls here. You seem like you conversate better. You just have a better energy, in my opinion. You don't strike me as one of these club girls. And every single time, guys, every single girl I say this to says the same fucking thing. They say, oh, yeah, I'm not like all these other sluts, these other bitches.

12:28 I'm completely different, right? So it's like I'm saying it to every single girl in the nightclub, and they're all saying the same shit about each other because you have to make them feel like they're the special one. But don't misinterpret. You don't want to make them feel like they're the most special thing in your life. You want to make them feel like they're the most special girl you're talking to, but they're not the most special thing in your life, and that's the difference. And I think it's a huge misunderstanding that's perpetuated by certain dating coaches that don't really understand how this works because oftentimes, unfortunately for female dating coaches, they don't have the scope of experience that we do.

13:02 I can guarantee you on my life as well as my net worth that female dating coaches haven't been in set tens of thousands of times as I have and have actually slept with all the women that I have, dealt with all the women I have, dated all the women I have. So, yeah, I'm more knowledgeable than they are, and I fucking guarantee it. Yeah, they have the perspective of like, well, I'm a woman. I understand what works on me. Really, what works on you has been shown to me just as many times, if not more, than it's been shown to yourself unless, of course, you've been with thousands of different guys and have somehow manifested your personality to be 70,000 different female personalities to know what works on each one.

13:40 I highly doubt that you have the experience that I do, but hey, you're hot. You have lots of Instagram followers. Congratulations. You were born with a sexy ass face and a banging body. That must have been very difficult for you. Congratulations on your success in the dating niche. So, with that point being made, always remember the 80-100 rule. You only want to give women 80% of what they want from you. What does that mean? She wants to hang out four times a week. How many times should you hang out?

14:06 That's right, about three. She wants to text five times a day. How many times should you text? About four. She wants to cuddle this much, kiss this much, have sex this much. You always want to land within 80%. But, that being said, when you're dealing with girls, you have to make them feel like they're different than the other girls. And this is making them feel special, which is really important to do. So, it's that fine balance where I want you, but I don't need you. I want to hang out with you less than you want to hang out with me, but I still want to hang out with you.

14:37 Yeah, I'm talking to other girls, but you're the one that I'm focused on. I'm afraid I can't help you with that if you get butchered about it. And I'm sorry, I'm going to keep doing it. Kick rocks with your head down if that's a deal breaker. So, you have your boundaries, but at the same time, you make her feel like she might be able to be the one that gets you. You know what I mean? Like, she might be able to be the one who convinces you to stop talking to other girls, convinces you to settle down.

15:02 And you know what? She might very well be that girl, as Marissa was. When I first met Marissa, I was deep in the pit. I was like in the barrel of a wave on the foam ball, and I couldn't even see the exit of it because of all the mist of just talking to, having sex with, and dating a bunch of girls. But Marissa, who's securing herself, basically did the same thing to me. She's like, yeah, whatever. I'm talking to other guys too. You know, it is what it is.

15:26 Let's just keep it mellow. And she got me sprung on her in a way where I was able to hold myself back, maintaining that all-important 80-100 rule. But she didn't do what so many other girls did, which chased me away, which was become needy, become passive-aggressive towards me because I was, quote-unquote, a player who was talking to other girls. And she was just the fucking shit. She gave amazing head. The sex was bomb. She was sexy as fuck. She's funny as hell. I can send her a text like the one I did in the beginning of this episode, and she'll fucking laugh about it as she will when she listens to this.

15:59 So she proved to be worthy just as I want you guys to prove to be worthy. You have a strong frame. Your life is number one. You're fun. You're a sanctuary for her, but you only give her about 80% of what she wants from you. Yeah, you're talking to other girls, but she's in the front running. And if she continues this awesome performance, she may just be able to snatch up your heart. That's the dynamic that you want to generate with these girls. And guys, be very, very careful about what advice you take from dating coaches.

16:27 In my opinion, you should pick the best few dating coaches that you agree with and just follow them because there's a lot of copycats out there. There's a lot of people who don't have the exact experience that perhaps I do as well as Trip Kramer does because they're a different gender, and they just can't have the same experience that we have. I'll tell you what, if I ever tried to train girls on how to get dudes, I would not be nearly as good as a female dating coach for females because they're the same gender.

16:54 They understand they've actually dated dudes. I haven't, thank God. Unlike a Disney movie, I'm not going to be gay tomorrow because I'm pushing my agenda on kids five and under because I'm not fucking psychotic like that, right? So female dating coaches know more than I do about attracting men. I know more than female dating coaches do about attracting women. It's just the way it works because I've been in the situation thousands and thousands of times, and I understand female psychology to a very deep level. And furthermore, female psychology is a very illogical thing.

17:26 If you're a female and you sit there and be like, well, what am I attracted to? 90% of the time, you're going to say something that's opposite of the actual truth because attraction is not a choice. It's an emotional reaction that happens based on the man's demonstration of survivability. So you have that problem too, where she's like, just make her feel special. She's talking about a guy who she's already super into. She's not talking about Joe Schmo, who she's at Home Depot looking for a plunger, and he walks up and he's like, oh my God, you're so beautiful.

17:56 I just want to be with you. You're the most special girl in this entire Home Depot. Can I have your number? No, it's not the way it works, and I don't want you guys to get confused by it. So be very careful about what information you take. Real recognizes real. And I truly believe, especially if you're listening right now, 18, 20 minutes in, whatever it is, that you see the value in me as a dating coach. That's because I'm real, bro. And because real recognizes real, that tells me that you're real too.

18:22 So trust your judgment. Trust your intuition. When you hear some shit that you don't agree with, just throw it away because there's a lot of bullshit going on in this niche, complete fucking lies, most of which are there to give guys hope that they can actually attract women like that ridiculous fucking Disney movie that gave so many dudes hope that if they just cry and confess their love to a woman that they can actually get her. I hate movies like that because it perpetuates the pain that is happening in so many men's lives.

18:50 If you run shit through your intuition, through your filter, follow dudes who are real because you're real, you will be led in the right direction. And personally, brother, I obviously feel that this podcast is by far the best dating podcast there is out there. Continue following me, man. I got your best interest in mind. I want to help you out. I'm only going to give you truth bombs, even if they hurt. And I want to try to give you the absolute best content possible continuously until I quit doing this podcast, which hopefully will not happen soon.

19:19 So, gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. As you probably know, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, and I'm always trying to drop these bangers. So, make sure to stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you, that's right, in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.