The #1 Most Important Thing to Become Attractive to Women (Your Inner Balance Point)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me. Today, we are going to talk about what I've coined the inner balance point, one of the most important things of frame control, which is the most important thing of attracting women, yet so few people talk about it. I've actually had guys join my program who were coached by other dating coaches, and I love dating coaches.

0:38 I have no problems with them, but they didn't even teach this thing called frame control, which is the single most important thing in attracting women. I could teach a guy frame control, and frame control alone, and his results with women would probably go up by about 500%. Add in new belief systems, add in new techniques, add in all the stuff that I teach in my three-month coaching program, and these guys are absolutely unstoppable with the hottest of the hot, as my reviews attest. So, this thing, frame control, requires a deeper explanation than I have time to do on this episode, but this is going to be a tenet of frame control that you can listen to and learn from without having to know exactly what frame control is.

1:27 But here's my suggestion, bro, Tendo. You should definitely go listen to all my episodes on frame control. If you haven't yet, and for you champions who have, listen to them again, man, because this alone, as I just stated, is so unbelievably important to becoming attractive to women that it will change your dating life literally all on its own. Again, it blows my mind that some dating coaches don't even talk about this. It's just unbelievable. So, that gives me an advantage because I talk about this, as well as many other things in this podcast, and that makes me what I feel is the best dating coach that has ever walked this earth.

2:04 And I mean that quite sincerely, and I mean that with humility. It sounds arrogant, but I really feel like it's true because I see the results that I get my clients, and I have taken every damn coaching program under the sun. Not only when I was coming up and learning this shit, but also because I like to keep an eye on my competition. I like to keep an eye out for new concepts, and they just don't get the results that I get from my clients. Guys have said many times that my three-month program is like magic, bro.

2:34 How fucking effective it is. And if you need proof of how effective it is, jump on my website, click on coaching, and read the 65 million testimonials that are on there. They will tell you all about it. So, inner balance point. What is that? It's your ability to be unreactive, to get unemotional, to stay within your calm center at every single moment that you're with a woman. In fact, when you're with anybody. A man's worth is directly communicated to everybody around him based on how reactive he is, how easily he gets pissed off, how much the world is throwing him to and fro, and his anger is trying to get him back into balance.

3:16 Men who are really good with women and men who are really successful in life don't have to fight against the world, but in fact, they are at peace with it. They bend to it and flow with it the way a Zen master does, and they are always on their inner balance point. And almost nothing you say can get this guy off his inner state of composure. He is completely unreactive to both you and, most importantly, to women. And this is a central tenet of frame control because frame control, in a nutshell, essentially means that you are controlling and or leading the interaction.

3:52 That your frame, your interpretation of reality is the most important thing for you, and nobody else's reality can come in and influence you. And if they do influence you, it's by your choice. So, for example, you're hanging out with your friends, and your friends make fun of you a little bit. You're a little bit short. You're a little bit pudgy. You got a bald head. You look a little bit like a nerd. And they take a little jab at you. And you get all butthurt about it.

4:18 Your broveries get hyperextended, and you get all pissed off. And you lash at them. And you yell at them. And you're saying, fuck you, man, I'm not that way. And you get pissed. What does that communicate? That you have a weak sense of reality. That you have a weak frame. And that you are a weak man. Now, for you guys who are listening, who are getting your broveries hyperextended, and this really hurts your feelings, because you know what I'm saying is true. And I'm not calling all of you weak.

4:45 In fact, there's a lot of champions listening right now who are completely on their inner balance point. But I want you to be realistic with yourself. If what I say kind of hurts your feelings a little bit, kind of got you a little bit affected, you need to self-analyze and look in the mirror and say, listen, I am not on my inner balance point at all times. What other people say can affect me negatively. And because of that, I am not as attractive to women as I could be.

5:10 Well, let me work on myself. Let me think about why this is. And I'm going to explain that, too. Now, the reason I wanted to do this episode was because of that whole thing that happened with Will Smith and Chris Rock, was it? I'm not going to get into it. We're all goddamn sick of hearing it. But in my opinion, he was reactive. And for reasons, who knows what the fuck happened, right? Like people are saying his wife is toxic. I'm not going to even get into it.

5:33 But what he did was not becoming of a man because he reacted negatively and Chris Rock got to him. He got into his frame. A man who is unaffected will not react when people say anything about him. Guys, I get hate emails all the time, okay? You're a fucking douche. Fucking women attack me all the time. You think I care? I don't even look at them. I delete them. Because they're going to do nothing for me. And even if I did read them, I'd be like, whatever, man.

5:59 Your issue. Most of the time, you know what you are? Peanut butter and jealous because of my success as a podcast host, a dating coach, my success with women, my success monetarily. Gets a lot of people butthurt, bro. They hyperextend their vagina. Their brovaries tear in half because they're so fucking pissed. What does that communicate about that person? That his life is not going the way he wants it to. Now, I want to preface this by saying this. I used to be that guy. Hey, I used to be the most angry, pissed off, vengeful, fuck everybody, fuck the world guy that ever walked this earth.

6:33 So, I also have a level of compassion for people who do that. Look, they're lost temporarily and they're going to grow out of it. And you know what? If attacking me gives them that ability to grow out of it, so be it. I'll be their punching bag because honestly, it doesn't affect me. It's like a Spartan warrior and a little girl slaps him in the face. He's like, he hardly even registers that it happened. That's what a man who is highly successful in life does and that's called your inner balance point.

7:00 I want you to imagine it like it's a straight line going right through you and you are constantly straddling that line. Now, people who have a weak sense of reality, when somebody insults them, they get thrown off that line. Like their left leg goes flying to the other side and they have to swing the left leg back to get back on it. And they usually do that through anger. They react to the comment from a place of weakness to get themselves back on their inner balance point rather than reacting to the comment from a place of strength, which shows they're completely unaffected.

7:32 Now, women are going to do this to you guys all the damn time. And it's funny to me when people come into my program within a couple of weeks, they're like, Mark, this chick said the meanest thing to me. I'm like, what did you say? And he's like, oh, I said what you taught me to say. I was unaffected and I shot back at her in a very calm, composed way. Exactly what you told me to say. And then, boom, attraction was on. And once again, like the fact that some dating coaches don't teach us blows my fucking mind because it's so important.

8:00 So women are going to test your boundaries. Why? Because the mark of a high value man is the ability to take social pressure, the ability to be insulted and be unaffected, and the ability to always be straddling that all important inner balance point. Balance within yourself, where nobody's outside reality can affect yours. When you show that, it shows that you have high survivability. Survivability is attractive to women. And this is seriously like 90% of the reason a lot of guys aren't good with women is because they're reacting to the world.

8:36 They're pissed off. They're the guy behind you honking his horn, cutting you off and getting road rage because his life sucks. He hasn't achieved success. He doesn't have a non-reactive way of dealing with his life. So all the little things that annoy him, because he's resisting what is, finally get to him and he's honking at you and cutting you off and flipping you off and in America even showing you his fucking gun. Why? Because he's a failure. Temporarily. Temporarily. All of us can get out of it as I did myself.

9:05 So I don't want you to think if you're in this reality that I'm attacking you, I have compassion for you and I'm coming at you like this, brother, because I want to wake you the fuck up. I want you to wake up to the fact that when you are affected negatively by life, when you are angry by life, when you are trying to push back against it with negativity, it's only going to attract more negativity to you. And it communicates to everybody, including hot girls, that you are low value, that you haven't quite figured it out yet.

9:34 Here's a really important tip that I want you to remember. Nobody's life, including mine, goes exactly how they want it to go. But there comes a point where you have to accept rather than expect. Know that this too shall pass. Surrender to it as if you chose it. If you're too short, are you going to grow taller? Fuck no. So stop being angry about it. Stop resisting it. Surrender to it and say yes to it. And look at the advantages that it gives you. If you have a bald head, laugh about it.

10:04 Tell girls it makes you more aerodynamic. You're a before picture for a Rogaine commercial. Tell her that your speed of going to the mailbox and back has increased by 1.2 seconds ever since you bicked your head. Make no apologies for it. Be unaffected about it. And if somebody takes a jab at you, you don't care. You laugh harder than they do. And it's not a contrived laugh. It's not a try-hard laugh. It's a laugh that shows I don't care. As if they just complimented you. When somebody says to me, Mark, your voice is so high, your jokes are so cheesy, I laugh as if they just told me I'm the most beautiful man alive and I'm a legend.

10:44 And those guys who tell me I'm great, I laugh as if they just said that you're a fucking idiot. The good compliments, the bad compliments, you take them all the same. Why? Because your reality is the only thing that matters to you. Your inner balance point is your first, second, and third filter for anything anybody says. You filter it through your reality because that's the only reality that matters. I don't care what your dad said to you, what your mom said to you, your mentors, your teachers, whoever is affecting you.

11:15 You are letting them affect you. You are letting their frame into your reality. So filter the shit through your own frame and decide right now, brother, that your opinion of yourself, your opinion of how best to live your life is the most important opinion to you. And you know what? You are so ensconced, so strong in your own opinion that you'll even let, and look at that word, let, other people's opinions come in and affect your own. You are like a palm tree in the Hawaiian Islands.

11:45 The wind comes, you bend and let it go by. You don't resist it because that oak tree that resists the wind is going to crack and get decimated when the storms come, which they will. Your life will never be circumstantially where you want it to be. So accept those things you can't change. People are always going to take jabs at you, especially women, with things that you don't like about yourself. My question for you is can you accept it and laugh at it as if they just complimented you?

12:12 Can you have a reality where you're always straddling that inner balance point and are unaffected by anything anybody says, including me, telling you not to hyperextend your vagina because you're a bit of an asshole right now and you're a little bit lost right now, leaving bad reviews, sending hate to people, going back to my previous podcast on Monday, sharing nude pictures of chicks with your friends and ripping on them. This shows you have a weak sense of reality and you're trying to bring other people down to bring yourself up.

12:43 When you try to bring other people down, that tells me everything I need to know about you. Nobody would ever try to bring somebody down who is below them. Would you try to bring a bum down, a homeless person down? If you would, that's because you think of yourself as less than a homeless person. People only try to bring down those who they perceive to be above them because their ego wants to try to feel equal or better than that person. When you become really successful, all you want to do is bring people up.

13:14 Nobody can affect you. You filter everything through three filters of your own reality and you make the final decision. This is your inner balance point. It is probably the most important thing I can teach you guys when it comes to being attractive to women, when it comes to making the money you want to make, when it comes to making the friends you want to make. And most importantly, and I cannot stress this enough, being at peace. Being at peace. Enlightened masters. You think an enlightened master is going to be affected if I say, Hey bud, I listened to your meditation program and it was fucking stupid, you idiot.

13:49 Ha ha, you fucking dingbat. You think he's going to be like, Oh no, he's going to be like Eckhart Tolle and say, I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't know if you guys have heard Eckhart Tolle. He is a living enlightened master. And he teaches this non-resistance, surrender to what is, inner balance point, non-reactivity to women. When a woman says to you, your nose is too big. You don't make enough money. You laugh as if she complimented you. And based on all the excellent coaching I do, mostly in my three-month coaching program, but also in this podcast, you have replies to those kinds of comments that show her that you are unaffected by her frame.

14:28 Nothing any woman can say to me could hurt my feelings. When it comes to what happened between Will Smith and Chris Rock, in my opinion, the only time I will physically confront another man is if he physically harms my woman. If he's just talking smack, talking shit, it's because his life sucks. It's like you're going to go get in a fight with the homeless man who you stop your car and he walks by and he thinks you're too far over the line and he hits the hood of your car, which has happened to me.

14:54 You turn to your woman and you say, man, I feel bad for that guy. His life must really suck. He has to sleep out in the cold tonight. Bro, I really, really have a lot of compassion for him. And then her squish mitten gets more moist than the Costa Rican rainforest and you're having sex with her five minutes later. As opposed to being like, motherfucker, and jumping out of your car and like trying to beat up this homeless guy who's like addicted to meth and probably has hepatitis that you're going to get into your body because you get cuts on your hand from his face.

15:19 It's not worth it. It's not worth it. You are unaffected. One time when I was a bouncer, I had to break up this fight between this guy and this other guy. And this one guy got his drink knocked over. And this guy was really well put together, had a smile on his face. And I was like, brother, I'm so sorry. Let me go get you another drink. He's like, don't worry about it, man. He's like, my life is too good to get mad about stuff like this.

15:39 And I was like, yeah, that's the way to react. Your life is too good to be affected by anything that happens in your reality. And what is the thing that all you guys want? You want to be happy. You want to be successful. You want to be a winner in this life, in this game. And winning this game only means that you have achieved peace and happiness and contentment. And there's always going to be shit that goes wrong. There's always going to be people fucking with your reality.

16:09 The question isn't whether or not you can circumstantially create a life that is acceptable to your rigid, egoic consciousness. It is, can you accept those things you can't change? Be unreactive to the negativity that's coming towards you. And focus on and appreciate what's good in your life like a fucking man does. Because a woman will be attracted to you when you have that strong inner balance point, that strong sense of reality, that filter, that's three filters deep that everything goes through. And when somebody says something negative to you, it has nothing to do with you.

16:43 It's them. When they say something negative to you, they just told you how they feel about themselves. And those people who leave negative comments on YouTube, who leave businesses like super bad reviews, their life sucks. So have compassion for that person. Come from that higher place of being on your inner balance point, being unreactive and always control in the frame. Not only when it comes to women, but more importantly, when it comes to yourself. Brothers, you get the life you choose. So choose to be strong in yourself.

17:15 Choose to be unreactive. Choose to have an inner balance point that is completely unaffected by anything that anybody else says or does to you. That is the key to happiness. And that is the key to frame control. That's the key to being insanely attractive to women and to being happy boys. All of you guys, I sincerely appreciate even the haters who listen to me. I know this is going to sound weird, but I send love to you, brothers. I send love to you. And if you think I'm a fucking douchebag, that's all right.

17:43 Eventually, you'll learn that hatred only equals hatred. A Buddhist monk once said, if there was no suffering, there would be no enlightenment. So us being lost, us not being on our inner balance point, us being reactive, acting through hatred, acting through negativity. It's all part of it. It's all necessary. So don't resist it. Just realize it. And when you don't resist it, it actually dissolves, coincidentally enough. When you surrender to the non-surrender, that non-surrender becomes peace, which is really interesting. So once again, man, you know, there's a lot of people who are lost in society, but they have hope.

18:17 It's all part of the process. If they weren't lost, they couldn't be found. So I'm just hoping that this is one little seed that I can plant in your brains that's either going to sprout at the very time you listen to this, or it's going to sprout later in life. If that, you get the life you choose, always got to be on your inner balance point, be unreactive, and filter everything through your own filter. You are the judge and the jury, the final decision on what affects you.

18:40 So let nothing affect you. Be that peaceful warrior that nobody can even influence. How fucking gangster is that? That's what the hell I'm talking about. Gentlemen, I have another awesome one dropping on Monday. I hope you enjoyed this one. And if you did, I'd very much appreciate a five-star review with some writing behind it. Email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com, and I will send you three awesome programs. The Conversation Sniper, 150 deadly one-liners for building attraction, guide to the female orgasm, make any woman look like a screaming demon that just got hit with the tornado, and three texts to build massive attraction in women.

19:14 Impress your friends, baffle your enemies. I appreciate every single one of you guys listening, and I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.