HOW TO BE A DOMINATE & MASCULINE ALPHA MALE

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And today, you and I are going heavy into our masculinity. We are going to learn how to be a dominant alpha silverback without making any fucking apologies for it. I'm going to teach you guys how to step into your true masculinity, how to be a man who takes no shit, who is not to be fucked with, but who's still a nice guy, you know, based on my previous podcast.

0:46 So that's what we're talking about today, and I always like to balance my podcast, so here's what I'm doing. This one's dropping on Monday, and then on Wednesday, I'm having one that's very, like, the other side of the spectrum. It's about love, and it's about how to deal with the loved one's death. So in this one, we're going to talk about how to kill motherfuckers, and then on Wednesday, we're going to talk about how to deal with death in a loving, benevolent, compassionate way. The reason I'm filming this podcast is, bro, so today I went and got my cheat meal.

1:12 As some of you know, I do this cheat meal once a week. I go to Burger King, get my double Whopper with cheese, with french fries, and a Diet Coke. Well, I don't usually drink a lot of caffeine, so I pound this Diet Coke, freaking liquid cocaine, that stuff, and I'm all fired up, dude. I'm driving down the street, listening to my hardcore music, and by the way, guys, if you want to get heavy into your testosterone, I want you to do two things. First of all, most importantly, check out my hundredth episode.

1:41 It's called The Spartan King. Are you kidding me? If you haven't listened to that yet, smack yourself upside the head. You are freaking crazy, because this thing is going to get you so unbelievably pumped up, so unbelievably in your testosterone. You're going to be a mushroom cloud-laying motherfucker before you wake up in the morning. So check that out. Also, check out my playlist on Spotify. If you're on Spotify or if you have it, it's called Mark's Lift Heavy Ass Weights. M-A-R-K apostrophe S, Lift Heavy Ass Weights.

2:11 It's a bunch of hardcore and metal music. So epic to lift weights. But I really want you to check out the hundredth episode, The Spartan King, where I take you through a visualization of you being a freaking Spartan in the phalanx, decimating the enemy. It's so sick. I worked really hard on it. That's how you get heavy into your testosterone. But today, check this out. So I'm driving down the street, super fired up, and I go to the archery range. And I'm going to go inside and shoot my bow.

2:40 Well, I get out of my car, and I'm, like, getting my bow. And there's this dude who's in the parking lot, and he's sitting in the trunk of his car. He's a big guy. He's got tattoos all over. He's got a bald head, and he looks like a pretty bad motherfucker. But I don't know, man. I was just, like, really fired up. And, you know, I like to challenge myself. I like to put social pressure on myself, which I'm going to talk about in this podcast.

2:59 So I'm walking by, and I do, like, the threatening kind of pose where you kind of, like, throw your arms up, and you're, like, motherfucker, like that. And I'm, like, what are you looking at? And he's, like, nothing. And I was, like, oh, my God. This guy backed down. I start laughing. I'm, like, I'm just fucking with you, man. What's up, brother? What's your name? He's, like, oh, I'm Mike, dude. I'm, like, what's up, Mike? You having a good day? He's, like, yeah, man. I'm just, like, walking by.

3:21 I'm, like, anyway, take it easy. And I was, like, damn, that guy was, uh, he totally backed down. I was really surprised. And I was thinking to myself, what would I have done if he didn't back down? I'd probably just be, like, whoa, bro, I'm just fucking with you. Relax, brother. Take it easy. You're coming unpeeled a little bit. Stand down, Sergeant Hater. Don't hyper-extend your vagina. Hey, bro, bro, bro, when you sit down to pee tonight, make sure you're getting a backsplash on your vagina, you stupid-ass bitch.

3:50 Haha, just kidding, boys. Relax. Anyway, today we're going to talk about how to be dominant. So that goes into the lesson of today, okay, is you want to be disagreeable. Now, I have to begin this podcast with a super huge disclaimer. And this is the disclaimer. If you're already an angry guy, if you're already the kind of guy that wants to go around fighting people, turn off this podcast. Do not listen to it. This is not for you. This is for guys who want to get more masculine, who feel like they're a little bit on the nice guy side, who are a little bit agreeable, a little bit feeble, a little bit weak.

4:26 You don't want confrontation. You're afraid of it. That kind of guy, okay? So everything that what I'm saying and everything I'm about to say, I'm going to lay down a blanket policy. None of this shit has any anger behind it. None of it. Because when you get angry, that's right. That's feminine energy. That's weakness. That's the angry person who women are not attracted to. Being a true dominant silverback gorilla means that you are not angry. You are unaffected. You're a fucking man without making any apologies for it.

4:57 And that's the dominant state that we want to get you in. So I'm going to give you some tips on how to do that, okay? Tip number one is be disagreeable. So many of you guys are fucking too agreeable. You're too affable. You're too gregarious. And you are trying too hard to avoid confrontation. So ask yourself, you bro, you the listener. Do you hate confrontation? Are you afraid of being disagreeable? Are you afraid of that pressure that comes up when you have a nervous and tense moment with another person?

5:30 Well, here's the thing. If you are, there's two issues here. First of all, you're being feminine, okay? The masculine man is not afraid to state his opinion. Once again, you bastard without any negative energy. Secondly, you are not putting yourself under the requisite social pressure that makes you more attractive to women. Okay? So when I went up to that dude today, I saw, bro, I can't stop thinking about it. It was so funny. I'm like, what are you looking at? He's like, nothing. And he was like way bigger than me.

5:58 I bet he could have taken me unless I got to do some of my jiu-jitsu we're going to talk about in a second. But when you put yourself under that social pressure, okay, you feel that, right? Like you can feel it right now. If you have a disagreement with somebody, particularly a disagreement that might end in a fight, a physical confrontation, you get a flood of fucking adrenaline. You get a flood of social pressure. And that social pressure actually makes you more attractive to women. Why?

6:25 Because it's the same thing when you're talking to a hot girl. When you're talking to a hot girl, you get that flood of adrenaline. You get the fight or flight feeling. And you can't fucking think your mind goes into what I call screensaver mode. You're like, you're pretty, right? You go into dipshit mode. But when you've experienced that social pressure enough times, then when you go talk to that hot chick, it no longer affects you. So when I say be disagreeable, bro, I want you to fucking stand up for yourself.

6:54 If somebody does something that you don't agree with, I want you to speak up for yourself. Today, I also bought a rifle for hunting season. And they like tried to throw like extra 40 bucks on to set up my scope. Well, they told me before I bought it that they were going to set up the scope for free. So I had three different managers there saying, sorry, bro, like you got to pay 40 bucks. I'm like, no, I'm not going to pay it. Richard told me two days ago that you guys would do it for free.

7:17 So if you're not willing to do it for free, if you're not willing to stand by what your employee said, let's go ahead and do a refund, right? Now, that was a lot of social pressure. I had three dudes standing in front of me saying like, sorry, man, you know, you got to pay this and I straight said, no, I was disagreeable. And what happened? I didn't have to pay the 40 bucks, walked out with my rifle. I'm going to come back in and they're going to do the freaking scope in a couple of days.

7:40 Boom, done. With that guy in the parking lot, I showed him like, hey, I'm not to be fucked with. Now, I don't advocate doing this. This was just a random thing that I did. But I will challenge people and I will speak up for myself on the regular. Look, if somebody is doing some shit that you don't agree with, speak the fuck up. Let them know. But here's the thing. Just like I was in that sportsman's warehouse in the rifle department, right? I was very cool, calm, collected.

8:09 I didn't get emotional. And that's the big difference. We can all imagine the dude who gets emotional. He's pissed off, especially this happens like with fat chicks. They freak out. They start throwing a canary. And then what they're showing is that they're off their inner balance point. Your inner balance point is your interstate of centeredness that masculine men have, that dominant men have. You don't see the silverback gorilla in the gorillas tribe acting like a gorilla female and screaming and throwing a big trombo. No, he goes through and he's like, motherfuckers, I'll kick all your asses if you don't get in line.

8:45 Shape the fuck up. You get over there. You get over there and shut the hell up. Everybody relax. Everybody be calm. I got this. Okay. And that's the way it was. So in sportsman's warehouse today, I was like, yo, like this isn't going to stand. Okay. This is what we're doing. If you're not into it, go ahead and refund my card. No hard feelings whatsoever. I'll go take my business to Shields and I'll fucking buy the gun over there. Hey, no big deal. Whatever, guys. Your guy told me this.

9:10 If you're not willing to honor that, totally fine. But I'm fucking busting out. I'm leaving. No, no, Mr. Singh, it's fine. Let's go ahead and do that. And they respected me more because of it. Now, a lot of people are afraid like, well, I don't want to be confrontational because then they won't like me. Here's the thing is that it's more important for people to respect you than like you. It's more important for people to respect you than like you. And here's the thing, too, is that when you don't get off your inner balance point, you are a likable guy.

9:39 You are a nice guy. Just like I talked about in my previous podcast, why nice guys finish last. It's because they don't do this. They're super agreeable. Like, oh, yeah, yeah, sir. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. 40 bucks. Okay, no big deal. Fuck that. Trying to charge me 40 bucks. I'm going to slap you upside the head with my 100th Spartan episode special, dude. You'll get so high in your testosterone, your fucking testicles will explode. That's going to be my revenge. So first of all, be disagreeable. Secondly, don't be afraid to fight.

10:08 Now, this was a huge one for me, boys. I have been doing Brazilian jiu-jitsu for two and a half, possibly three years now. I am telling you, the ability now to fight has changed everything for me. Now that I'm a high-level white belt, I know that I could probably take out the vast majority of people if we got in a fight. Okay, I'm not going to get too deep down the rabbit hole because God knows I want to. But about 90% of fights go to the ground, maybe even more.

10:37 Once it's on the ground, if they don't know any fundamental grappling, it's fucking over. So if you do jiu-jitsu, and by the way, I strongly believe Brazilian jiu-jitsu is the superior martial art, that and Muay Thai kickboxing or boxing. So you have stand-up and then you have ground game. But if I were to get in a fight with many people, I feel like I'd win. And that gives you an unbelievable amount of confidence. Unbelievable. If you guys do martial arts, you know what I'm talking about.

11:02 And you can be confrontational with people without being fearful. A lot of the times, guys are afraid of confrontation because they don't want to get into a physical altercation. They're like, oh, I don't know. I don't know what I'd do, right? And a lot of us overestimate our abilities. Like, oh, bro, I fucking haymaker that dude. He'd be out cold. I'd catch him unaware. You know what? Fights go down way differently than you think. And as I mentioned in a previous podcast, I was a bouncer.

11:32 I've been in many scuffles, many confrontations. I've seen all kinds of fights. They don't go down anything like you think they will. You think you're just going to whip the guy with one haymaker. You'll fucking bob and weave like that one time you practiced it in boxing class when you were in ninth grade. Nah, man. You need to train and you need to train hard. So when you learn to fight, you can be disagreeable. When you're disagreeable, when you're not afraid to stand up for yourself, to be assertive.

12:00 Remember that when we were in elementary school? Assertive Allison and agreeable Allen. Remember those guys? You want to be assertive Allison up in this motherfucker. And if somebody says something, you say, nah, man, that ain't going to fly. So quick story about bouncing. I remember one of the best ways you get somebody out of the bar, okay, is you say, hey, brother, like, let's say a guy's really drunk. Now, I want you to imagine this, okay? Put up your hand like you're a dinosaur. So you put up your arm kind of like towards your neck and then your hand is floppy in front of it, okay?

12:35 So that's one dinosaur claw. The guy's getting pretty drunk. Now put up two dinosaur claws and move them back and forth. That guy's fucked up. He needs to go. So we used to have a joke. We would be like, bro, he's two dinosaur clawing it. We need to get him out of here. So anytime the guy was really big and I was like, oh man, I don't know if I could take this guy, I would be like, hey, brother, hey, brother, my manager just needs to talk to you outside.

12:58 Literally, we'll take five seconds. We'll get you back in, all right? He'd be like, yeah, cool. So I'd be like, cool, follow me. And so when you get to the door and then I push him, boom, and I'll be like, you're gone, motherfucker. Get out of here. And you'd be like, what the hell? I'd be like, you're out, dude. Beat it. Kick rocks with your head down. Don't let the door hit you where the Lord split you, right? But whenever it would be a guy who I think I could take, I would always let it get confrontational.

13:22 I'd be like, hey, man, you got to go. You'd be like, why? I'd be like, you're too drunk and you're being crude to the girls. You're being a nuisance. You got to beat it. And many times, man, I've gotten into some physical altercations, some of which, I don't know. I got to consult with my lawyer first to make sure that I could talk about these. But I've had physical altercations with guys being drunk. Oh, my God, this one time, I got to tell you guys this story.

13:44 So I would work there with my friend Clint. And yes, it was a cowboy bar. Yes, we would wear cowboy hats. Yes, his name was Clint. So Clint was a little bit more chill than me because when fights would go down, my adrenaline would kick in and I would just fucking jump in and hammer the first guy I saw. So when I first started there, I'd been working there for like six months. I'm like, hey, bro, you got to go. This guy was drunk. Probably like threw up in a cup and then like left it.

14:10 It was gross. So I was like, hey, man, you got to go. Let's go. He's like, no, I'm not going. I'm like, yeah, you are. Let's go. And I start kind of pushing him out and he pushes me back. So I fucking bear hug him. At the time, I hadn't taken jujitsu yet, but I was still pretty pumped up. So I figured I could take him bear hugging from behind. So his arms are like pinned to his body. I got him in a bear hug, lift him up.

14:31 And I've got so much adrenaline going. I'm literally carrying this probably 200 pound plus guy like a rag doll out of the club. And I'm walking with him so fast. I fucking boom. I hit this chick who like she's just sitting there drinking her drink. She's got her purse in her hand. Her drink fucking goes flying into outer space. Her purse goes flying to the left. Frickin her hair is flying everywhere. And she just eats it on the ground. Like I didn't even see it really because I'm just knocking people all the way.

15:02 And this guy's like, you know, trying to struggle, get out of here. But I had the death griff on him. And then I get him to the fucking the entrance and I just toss him like a rag doll out of the bar. And I was like, God damn, that adrenaline makes you so strong. I kind of calmed down as time went on. But that girl, my friend, Clint, was like, bro, that girl literally looked like she exploded. Like everything flew off of her like in the air.

15:28 And I didn't even see her in front of me. I was just trying to get this motherfucker out. But see, what I liked about being a bouncer is it showed me how to be dominant. It showed me how to deal with confrontations. And I did it for five years. And every time, every week that went by, I got calmer and calmer and calmer to where I would usually just do talking. And then I actually started jujitsu at the very tail end of when I was a bouncer.

15:54 And I don't want to say this on the podcast yet. I got to talk to my lawyer if I'm allowed to. But I just want to tell you this. I deployed the most epic jujitsu move on somebody. And it worked like magic, dude. Like, it was crazy. I'll tell you guys about it in a future podcast. But if you don't know how to fight, if you don't know how to defend yourself, that is a major, major issue. And I want you to consider that, okay? Thirdly, the way you get more dominant, and you guys who have been listening to me for a long time, is you got to get heavy into your masculine energy.

16:30 So once again, that includes listening to music that gets you pumped up. Having a towards mentality, which is focusing on what you want to achieve, not on what you're afraid of. Being balanced in your emotions and not letting anger, jealousy, or any kind of girly feelings take over. You want to be that ensconced silverback gorilla. And that's what I eventually became in the bar, in the nightclub. It's like, I was just very calm. And when I walked through the crowd, it's like that cool, calm confidence.

17:02 Like, yeah, I've talked to girls harder than you. I've fought guys bigger than you. What are you going to do, right? So when I walked through the crowd, that's why all the chicks would get attracted to me. It's because I had that dominant kind of vibe about me. How do you get the dominant vibe? I'm telling you, you have to put yourself in high social pressure situations. Don't be afraid to be disagreeable. Be assertive. Don't be afraid to fight. And one of the ways to not be afraid to fight is to train to fight.

17:29 You would be amazed at how many people back down from fights. Like, I would see people bowing up on each other in the bar. And it would always, and it got to the point where me and my friends, like, we used to break up fights really eagerly, right? Like, we'd see two people bowing up. It would be like, hey, hey, guys, you know, take it easy now. No fighting. What we do eventually is we just sit back and, like, rub our chains and be like, come on, bro.

17:52 Like, let's get some fighting going on. And sometimes it would kick off. They would fight. It always went to the ground, just like I said. And then, like, towards the end, I would be giving advice, right? Because I was taking jiu-jitsu for a little while there. I'm like, bro, come on. Don't put your leg like that. Put your leg here, bro. And, like, I'd reach down and I'd touch the guy's hip. I'd be like, shift your weight here. Giving tips while they're fighting on the ground.

18:15 So fun, dude. I love being a bouncer. And the girls, oh, my God. I have so many stories. I can't wait to tell you guys. But when you learn to fight, it's going to make you that much more confident. And then, finally, being in that masculine towards mentality, okay? Keeping yourself in a fired-up state where you're constantly feeling that masculine energy going through you. Focusing on what could go right. Focusing on your goals. Looking towards. When you see a girl, you don't say, oh, what if she rejects me?

18:47 You say, fuck, what if that girl could be my girlfriend? What if that's my wife right there? I got to go talk to her. That's my potential wife right there. Man, that girl's super cute. Are you seriously afraid of a little tiny girl, the ultimate feminine, who wants you to come approach her? No. You just be like, bro, I'm a fucking dominant alpha male. I'm going to pick up my balls and I'm going to go approach her. So, once again, that towards masculine mentality. You might want to get yourself doing something every day that pumps you up.

19:16 Working out is a really good way to boost your testosterone. Changing your diet in certain ways, that limits the estrogen. Because, remember, the fat on your body produces estrogen. So, when you change your body, I personally think paleo is best. You shed those excess pounds and then it's easier for you to get into your masculinity. And finally, and you know how important this is, controlling the frame. Listen to my podcast about frame control. Being the man means being the leader. Being dominant is exactly that. Dominant, the very root of that word means you are the leader.

19:50 You are the alpha. You are the final decision. So, as you work on your tonality, the way you frame conversations, how emotional you get, how agreeable you are versus disagreeable. All these things I mentioned in this podcast, when you get those in balance, you become more dominant. So, that when you see a guy staring at you while you're getting your archery equipment out of your truck and you turn around and you're like, what are you looking at? He backs down. Nothing. And I'm telling you, he was way heavier than me, way stronger than me, probably could have kicked my ass.

20:26 Unless, of course, he went to the ground. Then I would have fucking Kimura'd his ass or Americana'd him or rear naked choke. Choose your freaking move. But he could feel that from me. And I'm telling you too, we have black belts in my jiu-jitsu school that look as innocent as innocent can be. There's something in their eyes you can just tell. And one of my black belt buddies was telling me a story where he was at a festival and some guy was pissing like right in the middle of the open.

20:53 And my buddy's like, hey, bro, you probably shouldn't do that. And he was just telling him, you shouldn't do that because the cops are going to get you. But the guy took it as, hey, you shouldn't do that. And the guy turns around, he's like, fuck you. And he's bigger, way bigger than my friend. And my friend just sat there looking at him. And the guy walked away. He's like, never mind. And he walked away. Because you can tell in people's eyes that they can take care of themselves.

21:14 There's just something about somebody. And you can't fake that. You got to earn it on the mats. You got to earn it by being disagreeable when it's the right time. And again, guys, I have to say, can't get emotional about it. I don't want you guys to misinterpret this and think that I'm telling you to go fight everybody. This is just your willingness to fight, right? That tattoo I'm getting, the meek will inherit the earth. It means those who know how to use their swords, but choose not to.

21:42 That's the kind of guy you want to be if you want to be a dominant masculine alpha male. All right, guys, that's it for me in this podcast. I'm coming swinging with another really good one on Wednesday. I actually just recorded it. I'm really proud of it. I talk about how to deal with a loved one's death. And we really go deep down the rabbit hole on some of my spiritual beliefs. It's definitely the most heady, the most philosophical, the most spiritual podcast I've ever done on this show.

22:09 So if you're into that kind of shit, check it out. And finally, I really appreciate all the reviews. I mentioned this in that episode as well. But damn, dude, the reviews have been coming in. Been getting past the goalie, bro. The puck has been getting past the goalie. And I've shed a couple tears that never came out of my eye because that's what a masculine man does. Like right now, I'm crying profusely, but it's all in my head. Crying for you champions out there. And as you finish this episode, you're like, hmm, what do I do now?

22:38 Listen to the 100th episode, motherfucker. I'm telling you, it's the sickest thing you're going to hear all day. You're going to get so fired up. You're going to fucking toss a spear that you didn't even know was in your garage. You're going to open your garage and be like, what's that Spartan spear doing there? Fuck it. Just throw it. Throw it. It's going to go through someone's window. Next thing you know, lawsuit. Big problems. But when you get into your masculinity, it just feels good, man.

23:02 It just feels really good. Like me walking through that parking lot. What are you looking at, motherfucker? Nothing. Oh, yeah, you got smoked. All right, boys, that's it for me. Thanks so much for listening, and I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.