A Positive Outlook on Death

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today we are going to talk about how to deal with a loved one's death. And if you've recently dealt with the death, I want to share my philosophies about death and kind of what we can do to reframe it a little bit in our heads to try to make it more into a positive thing or as much as a positive thing as possible.

0:41 And also what to do to better your life in honor of that person. And what I want to do with this podcast is kind of talk about some of the philosophies of what you can do to move on from a death, how you can reconcile yourself with it. And then also towards the end of the podcast, I want to get into my own spiritual beliefs about death, what I believe it means, what I believe it points to, and this is going to get a little bit down the rabbit hole.

1:02 So if you're not into that kind of thing, or you share different beliefs with me, that's absolutely fine. Ultimately, nobody knows really the truth, right? Like nobody really, really knows what happens after death. All we can do is kind of search our soul, search the evidence around us and make our conclusions from there. But I feel I've come to a very positive view of death. And therefore, when people around me die, certainly I'm devastated by it. But I don't think I take it as hard as some other people because of my viewpoints on it.

1:34 So if you're kind of spiritually exploring right now, asking yourself, what's the purpose of life or anything like that, you know, I've done a lot of research into this kind of thing, thought about it for years and years, there was about eight years there, I was literally obsessed with this near death experiences. What is the purpose? Why are we here? And I actually want to do a podcast about that. You know, what's the purpose of life in the future. But for today, I just want to talk about kind of my philosophies about what death represents and share with you what I've learned.

2:00 And maybe it can help you create your own philosophies and beliefs about this. So the reason I'm recording this podcast is because Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg recently passed away. And I don't know if you're familiar with this woman, you've probably seen a couple of pictures of her pop up on Facebook and Instagram, but she was a Supreme Court Justice and she was one of my she-ros. It's a hero that's a female. And I think as men, as unapologetic men, it's really important not only to have heroes that are male, but also female, because the female represents many good things that I think are often overlooked.

2:35 And that's what I really liked about Ruth is that she fought for women's rights. She fought for equality, both of women and of men. And the adversity that she went through is not unlike the adversity that you and I are going through. She had to go through absolute hell. She had to work her ass off in order to get to the point where she knew she should be. And that's the thing is that she didn't let anybody tell her her own self-worth. So as unapologetic men, as men who are trying to grow ourselves, we can learn a lot from women as well as men like that.

3:08 And what she did is absolutely phenomenal. If you ever want to just research her a little bit, just Google it and kind of check out what she did because she was an amazing human being who I believe really changed this world for the positive. She went through tons of adversity. She went through tons of trials and tribulations in order to become who she was to get to the station that she got to. And as you continue to struggle, you can get motivation from that. Furthermore, she had a husband who supported her outright.

3:34 And he was really gregarious and a really great guy in his own right, but he was secure enough in himself to support a woman who on paper was more successful than he was. And I think that takes a really strong frame. I think that takes a lot of integrity and character to be able to back up your wife, no matter how successful she gets. A real man is a man who can do that. So those two, his name was Marty. Her name was Ruth. I really, really respect because they came out of a time when, you know, there was a lot of oppression against women and nobody can deny it.

4:08 You know, there was oppression against women and sure, in some ways I agree that it swung really hard in the opposite direction. And that's partially the purpose of this podcast, not anti-female rights, but, you know, attack on toxic masculinity, et cetera. That's the purpose of this podcast. But she was all for that. She was also for men's rights and she actually passed a lot of bills that helped men. But Ruth Bader Ginsburg actually helped pass a bill where I guess there was a guy whose wife died.

4:35 The wife was paying in social security. And when the wife died, the man was supposed to get the social security. But in the laws, it said that only the woman was supposed to get social security when the man dies. So she flipped that law so that the guy could get money to take care of the daughter that was left behind by the wife's death. So this was an amazing woman. And once again, I think it's important that we have heroes just as well as heroes. And most importantly, of all the be your own hero, but I really respect her.

5:00 I really admire her. And I try to better myself in order to honor her. And that goes into my first point. So when somebody dies, we need to live the best we can in order to honor their memory. And that is the most important way to honor the death of a loved one is to say, you know what, brother, or you know what, sister, or you know what, mom, grandma, whoever it was, watch what I do now. And I'm going to do this in your honor.

5:25 I'm going to live the best I can. I'm going to kick ass in this life and take names. I'm going to become the best version of myself to honor you because I know that's what you'd want from me. You wouldn't want me to cry and get down and really go against myself and maybe even give up in my own right. No, you'd want me to carry on and live the best life possible so that when you look down on me, you can be proud of me.

5:51 My dad died when I was 10 and he has motivated me so much to become the man that I am. I always think about him probably every single day. When I meditate, I believe I can feel him coming around me. There's this weird barometric pressure change around my head when I'm meditating and I can just feel his presence. It's just this certain kind of energy that he had and has that he comes around me. And I feel like he's proud of me. I feel like he looks down and he's like, yeah, Mark, you're a fucking champion.

6:18 You were dealt your cards in life and you made the meanest hand possible. And I know he's proud of me. I know he is. And let me ask you, those people who have died in your life, are they proud of you? Are they looking down on you and saying, wow, this, this guy's really trying to improve himself. He's really making himself into the best version of himself possible. And do you feel that you're living a life that honors them? So when somebody passes, is it should be massive, massive motivation for you.

6:43 As some of you know, I lived in Japan for four years. And while I was living in Japan, I traveled to an island called Saipan Island. And on Saipan Island, there was a big World War II battle that took place. Well, what happened is, is the Japanese army inhabited Saipan Island. And they told all the natives who were also Japanese that when the Americans come, they're going to rape your daughters. They're going to kill you all. They're going to torture you. So you guys better commit suicide before they come.

7:09 Well, what happened is, is as the Americans were taking the island, they were pushing the natives towards the edge of the island and the natives without any other choice committed suicide. And they committed suicide by jumping off a cliff. And there's actually some video footage of this on YouTube. If you want to check it out, probably suicide Saipan Island. If you want to watch, you can see people jumping off this cliff. Well, when I was traveling in Saipan, I went up to that cliff to check it out.

7:33 And I think it was called Bonsai Cliff. Please don't quote me on that. It may have been called Jisatsu Cliff, Jisatsu Suicide Cliff. I don't remember what it was called, but bro, I could feel the energy of that place. There was this deep, deep sadness. So as I was riding my motorcycle home, I rented a motorcycle. I had this poem pop into my head and it was basically like, bro, in your memory, I want to take this one chance, this precious one chance and live the best I can.

8:02 So I actually wrote a poem in Japanese and I almost got it tattooed on myself. And for those of you who want to hear me speak Japanese, here's how the poem goes. And that means in their memory, for their spirit and for my own spirit, I will take this infinitesimally small one chance, this precious one chance and make something amazing out of it for their honor. And that's what the poem means. And I have it actually right here on my desk. A Shodo artist, a professional calligrapher wrote it for me and I have it sitting right next to my desk so that every day I look at it and I'm like, man, am I living a life that honors that person?

8:50 Am I living a life that honors all the men that died in World War II, not only for the United States, but for Japan too. And even for Germany, for Netherlands, for Poland, for Italy, for Australia, all the countries that battled, they did it for us. And are we living well in order to honor them? Remember in that movie, Saving Private Ryan at the very end, Matt Damon's character, you see him as an old man and he turns to his wife and he's like, tell me I lived well, tell me I lived a good life because when the Tom Hanks character died, he said, earn this, earn this.

9:17 And that's what you need to do, man, is like when people die, they're leaving behind motivation for you. And that's part of the purpose of their death. I can tell you with utmost sincerity that my dad dying was one of the best things that ever happened to me. How can I say that you say is because he has motivated me to become the champion that I am today? And not only me, my brother, my brother walked from Mexico to Canada on the Pacific Crest Trail in my dad's honor.

9:45 Then he did it again on the Continental Divide Trail, Mexico to Canada. And then he did it a third time on the Appalachian Trail, Georgia to Maine. And he did it all for my dad. That's probably 14 plus months of walking up to 36 miles a day in somebody's honor. If you want to talk about motivation, I can't think of anything more powerful than that than having a strong why, but that becomes your why, doesn't it? You get motivated by those who have passed in your life. And you can even think about, well, when, when is my mom going to pass?

10:14 When is my dad going to pass? Have you told those people that you really love them? Have you told them how much they mean to you? Have you shown them that you're taking the life that they gave you and you're making the meanest hand possible? Do you know how unbelievably difficult it is to raise a child? Do you understand how much love, compassion, energy, money, and attention it took to raise you into the man you are today? I mean, that alone, you just need to call your mom and your dad and be like, yo, like, thank you.

10:48 I love you. Thank you for this life. Cause they can die tomorrow. And when they do, you don't want to tell them you love them. Then you want to tell them while they're still alive. Although I believe they can still hear us. I believe they still come around us. I think it's important to show appreciation to those people while they're still alive, not waiting until they're dead. And now that gets me into the spiritual part of this podcast. If you're not into this kind of thing, if you're a Christian or something like that, and by the way, my beliefs are very similar to Christian.

11:15 I'm not a Christian, but they're, they're kind of similar. Maybe not. I don't know. Anyway, if you'd take offense to this, then click away, man. Like you don't have to agree with me on this, but this is my personal philosophy. I have researched and researched all the religions. I studied all their spiritual texts, the Bible, the Bhagavad Gita, all these beautiful texts, the Tao Te Ching. And what I've concluded is that life doesn't end when you die. And if you think about it, a lot of religions preach eternity, don't they?

11:42 That, uh, time continues forever. And in Christianity, you basically, the way they think it is, you get this one life, you die, and then you go to heaven. Okay. Maybe I have that a little bit messed up, but I think that's the basic premise of it. And in other religions, they believe in reincarnation. Well, I believe that if time is eternal, why would we just do it once? Just my personal belief. Look, if you disagree with me, totally fine. I'm not trying to get into pissing contest over this.

12:10 I'm just telling you what I believe. So I believe in reincarnation and I really believe I've done this before. I've had flashbacks of different things. I believe I was in World War II, whole different podcast. Um, I believe that I've had hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of lives. This just feels familiar. And even death, like going through the, the light, the tunnel to me feels strangely familiar. When I drive through tunnels and like, I can see the light at the end. I, it just feels very strange to me.

12:42 And it feels like I've been there before. What I believe happens is that we continue to reincarnate until we wake up to what we really are, which is true love, whole different podcast. But what I believe is, is that we're going to meet those people again. And in fact, you have soulmates and a soulmate is somebody who you've done this with before. Like my mom, I feel like I have ridden with her many times before we have done serious laps around the track many times. Also Marissa, the current girl I'm with, I feel like I've known her for many lifetimes.

13:09 I just know I have because we connect that perfectly. And I'm sure you, as the listener, there's people in your life who you feel that same connection with. And one of the things about attracting women is, Hey, sometimes you just don't click with the person because I believe we're all kind of like leaves on a tree. And those leaves who are close together on that tree have done lifetimes together many, many times, but you might meet a leaf, which is like on the opposite side of the tree.

13:35 And you guys just don't click. There's just no resonance there. So sometimes you can't force girls to get attracted to you. Not every single chick is going to be attracted to you. There is something to say about quote unquote soulmates. So as I believe that we reincarnate, as I believe that we meet the same people over and over again. And as I believe that there's a purpose for life that goes deeper than just us being born, have a few cardinal pleasures and then die. And then it's blackness.

14:00 I just don't fucking believe that. I believe there's very much a higher purpose about this. And I believe that purpose is benevolent. You know, Einstein was a genius, but one of the most brilliant things he ever said was the most important decision you ever make is whether you believe you live in a benevolent or a malevolent universe, which means, do you believe that God is love or do you believe that it's hateful? Now, I believe there's a purpose for hate. I believe that it gives light to love.

14:31 But as people pass away, I've had it once explained in a spiritual test that it's a lot like puberty. You just go from one state to another state. It's the same thing with being born. You go from one state to a different state. You go through that. It's the breath of God, inhaling and exhaling, constantly shifting through different paradigms, experiencing different things. And so when somebody passes away, my mom is going to pass away, you know, probably in the next 20 years. I'm going to honor her and live the best I can for her.

14:59 But I know I'm going to see her again. I just really feel that in my heart, you know, and because of that, I'm not going to take it so hard as some people do. It's not going to ruin my life. I don't think it's over. I just don't. And same with my dad. I know I'm going to see that motherfucker again. And bro, you too. Think about this. When I die, you're going to be waiting there for me, even if you're still alive. I mean, this is getting pretty hairy.

15:25 This is getting pretty trippy, but I believe we can exist in different planes at different times all at once. I believe everything is happening at once. So I believe when I die, all my boys from the unapologetic man podcast, all my listeners are going to be there clapping and I'm going to walk in and you guys are like going to be patting me on the back. I'm going to be like, what's up, bro? Nice to meet you. And like, we're all fucking boys. And I believe even you resonating with this, like you and I are soulmates in some way, like we we've met, we've done this before.

15:55 This is not the first time. And I'm telling you what you already know. And bro, in a different lifetime, you're going to be telling me what I need to know. You're going to be my mentor. And it's just like that is that we're really leaves on the same tree. We're in a, we're in a river. We're basically the same thing, but we're going over a waterfall and separating into individual droplets just for a little period of time until we get to the bottom of that waterfall.

16:17 And then we reconnect and to go even further down the rabbit hole. What if you and I are the same soul, just having a different experience at a different moment in time, right? It's one soul bouncing between all different bodies. Think about that one. I often think about that when I judge fat chicks, you know, I'm like, well, what if, what if that's me, you know, in a, in a different life, quote unquote, what if it's just one soul bouncing between different bodies and that's me in a different life and I'm judging me and I'm putting me down and I'm hating on me.

16:47 And what's interesting is some spiritual texts say you become what you hate. So you know how like the Palestinians and the Israelis hate each other. What they say is they just flip back and forth between lives until they finally find love and figure out that it's all bullshit. I don't know if that's true. Look, I'm just saying some things that I've heard, but I believe that there's more to this than what meets the eye. I believe that there's a positive purpose for this, a loving, benevolent God.

17:13 We reincarnate over and over again until we wake up to what we truly are. And I'm going to get into that when I talk about the purpose of life podcast. Tune in if you're interested. Don't, if you're not, honestly, no hard feelings. But when you have a positive belief about death, when you have a positive belief about life, the way I have it, it makes you reconcile with those deaths a lot easier. And you get even further motivated to improve yourself, to prove worthy of that person because you believe you're going to see them again.

17:42 You believe when you die, your dad's going to be waiting for you. Your mom's going to be waiting for your grandma, grandpa, uncle, friends, even me, bro. I'm going to be there waiting for you. When you die and you come through that tunnel, I'm going to be in that crowd and I'm going to be like, what's up, brother? You're going to be like, oh shit, Mark Singh. What's up, man? And I'll be like, look, I'm proud of you, dude. You know, you became the best version of yourself.

18:02 You did whatever it took. You did exactly what Ruth Bader Ginsburg did, which was to take some cards and make the meanest hand possible, no matter how hard it was, no matter how many times you had to get off off the mat. Once you've been hit down, no matter how many times you had to tell yourself, I will not fucking quit. She had that spirit and that's why I admire her. And that's why I did this podcast in honor of her. So if you've dealt with the death in your family, I want you to take some of what I said under consideration.

18:33 Certainly you won't believe with everything I've said, but maybe some things resonated with you. And I want to trip you out with one other thing is that eternity doesn't mean endless time. It means no time. Time is an illusion. It doesn't exist. This just keeps going and going and going. Our perception of time is nothing but an illusion. So if there's endless time, what the fuck else are we going to do but reincarnate, do this game over and over again and try to awaken to what we truly are.

18:57 It's the only game in town. It's God, if you will, splitting himself up into a number of different souls in order to have an experience with itself to wake up to what it really is, which is love. The light cannot know it's light unless it's seen darkness. And that's the point of the ego. That's the point of hatred. That's the point of suffering is to wake up to what we truly are. So we are experientially waking up to what we truly are, which is love. And in my opinion, that's what enlightenment is.

19:33 That's what Jesus reached. That's what Buddha reached. Lao Tzu, Mohammed, all these amazing people throughout history. They were simply enlightened masters. And then they go on to do the next thing. And who the fuck knows what that is. But I'll tell you, I believe wholeheartedly that it's benevolent. I believe wholeheartedly that it's love. And that's what I try to give to you guys is all I am is a street post pointing the way to a better you pointing the way to wake you up so that you can become the best version of yourself and speed up the process.

20:04 Why? Because it's the only game in town. It's what our purpose is here. It's what we're supposed to be doing. So we'll do that together. All right, guys, I know I went deep down the rabbit hole. This was probably the deepest one I've ever done. But I like talking about this shit. You know, I'm really heady. I've gotten super into spirituality and what happens after death for many, many, many years of my life. And it's honestly made me into a happy person. Some of the truths that I've come to based on the amount of research that I've done.

20:30 And the crazy thing is, I want to leave you with this is that every single religion, every single enlightened master, every single guru always points to the same thing is that there is a benevolent, positive, loving, happy reason for this. And that what we have to look forward to is something good, not something bad. And that includes seeing your loved ones again after death. So that's the one big conclusion that I came to is that all these guys are saying the same thing. And they're all saying, dude, it's a good time.

21:07 It's a good deal. It's a benevolent thing. Of course, there's some like satanic religions that disagree with that. But on the all those who have achieved the happiness, peace and enlightenment that we're all trying to achieve all say the same damn thing. So I'm going to trust what they say. And I'm also going to trust what my heart tells me and go with that. Because ultimately, we don't know what the reason is. And like I've said many times in this podcast, your beliefs are ultimately all illusions.

21:33 So you might as well choose a belief that works best for you. Well, in my opinion, that belief definitely works best for me. Definitely does. So that's what I'm going to believe. Anyway, guys, you know, my philosophy might evolve as I get older and I hope it does. And who knows, maybe I'll drop that completely. But right now, as I'm 43 years old, that's the conclusion that I've come to. And I believe that when somebody dies, we will ride again. There's many more laps to come, many more freaking laps around the track that we're going to do together, many more good times.

22:00 And who knows, brother, maybe you and I will have a couple of lifetimes together and we'll be homies. Who the fuck knows? Anyway, I do thank you for listening. If you had a death in the family and you just want to talk about it, you know, you can hire me for coaching. Maybe we can talk more philosophy. It's if that's something you want to do, you can check out my coaching offer at coachmarksing.com. And finally, to wrap this up, I want to thank all you guys for leaving me reviews.

22:24 The reviews lately have been absolutely phenomenal. Just like really getting past the goalie, getting me in the feels, shedding a tear in my non-shooting eye at every single one of you. I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, from that place of love that I've talked about in this podcast, I fucking appreciate it, man. Like when I see you at those pearly gates, bro, I'm giving you a big bear hug. Better watch out because I might pop your rib, dude. I'm so fired up. So thanks again for all those reviews, guys.

22:54 I'll be swinging with another one on Friday and I'll look forward to seeing you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.