How to Break it off With a Girl Without Her Getting Too Pissed

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for joining me on another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. In today's episode, we are going to talk about how to break it off with a girl. So as you get better and better with your game, you're going to be dealing with a lot more girls. And whether that means you're dating lots of different chicks at once and rotating through them quickly, or even getting into relationships and needing ways to kind of break it off without pissing her off too bad, that's what this episode is all about.

0:47 We're going to give you templates for what to say when you've just dated her a few times, then what to say if you guys have been dating for a couple months, and then what to do when you've actually been in a relationship with her. So that's the point of today's episode. Before we jump into the content, I want to remind you guys that I do offer one-on-one NLP coaching. NLP is Neuro Linguistic Programming, which means I go into your head and rewire the programs that you are operating with that may not be conducive to attracting women.

1:18 So if you feel like you've got one foot on the brake and one foot on the gas, and you just can't seem to get past your sticking points, that's specifically what I do. I go in there and I rewire you up so that you can get awesome success with women. My website has been redesigned, so check that out. It's CoachMarkSingh.com. Once again, that's CoachMarkSingh.com, M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G.com. And even if you're just curious what a redesigned website looks like, go check it out, man. I got tons of testimonials on there, and it really explains what I do.

1:50 So have yourself a look. Link is in the description. Also want to thank all of you for the reviews you've left. I really do appreciate it. If you leave me a review, email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com. Five-star review, preferably. And I will send you a bunch of programs. Even if you're just a fan of the show, hit me up, man. Be like, yo, my name is this, that, and the other. I'm listening from this area. You can even give me tips or things that you want me to talk about.

2:15 I love hearing from you guys, and I'll always send you some great content. So don't be a stranger, man. Hit me up. All right, so let's jump into the content, shall we? So obviously, you guys are getting more game. Your confidence is going up. You're meeting more women. You're getting more phone numbers, getting more dates. And let's be honest with each other. Not every chick is going to make the cut. So what I want to do is I want to go through how to break it off with chicks, even in the date itself, the first date itself, and then how to text them to break up with them, when and how to call to break up with them, and then when to do it in person, whether or not it even warrants doing it in person.

2:54 And this has been my experience. So first and foremost, as you begin dating more and more girls, you want to build in what I call abort mechanisms into your first date. So especially when you meet chicks on the internet, brother, you don't want to commit more than like 30 minutes of your time to go meet this chick. So what I would always say is, hey, listen, you know, we don't really know each other. So let's just grab a quick drink, see if there's chemistry there. And if there is, then maybe we can hang out again some other time.

3:20 Let's just keep it to an hour. So I'd always say an hour because that seems like the minimum amount of time, in my opinion, that a woman would need to commit to justify getting ready. And we have to remember, you know, chicks, it takes them a while to get ready. Like they have to put on their makeup. They got to pick out an outfit. They always have a little bit of trepidation about hanging out with a strange guy to begin with. So I always make it easy and say, hey, let's just keep it short, grab a quick drink, and then we'll see if there's chemistry.

3:49 That's what I'd always say. And that would always work well because while speaking to her, I can tell within 10 to 15 minutes if this chick is going to be a match or not. So what I'd usually do is just be like, well, hey, listen, you know, it was good to meet you. I got to duck out. And my excuse would always be I have an early day tomorrow or I got to get some work done before I go to sleep or I have some other obligation. And so I'd preface that before the date would even begin saying, hey, I got a busy day tomorrow.

4:15 Let's just catch up real quick. See if there's chemistry there. If there is, great. If not, no hard feelings. Then when the date would actually come, boom, I can pull the eject mechanism anytime I wanted to. And let's be honest, most girls don't make the cut. Why? Because you're the selector. That's the way you need to think of it. Women always feel that they're the selector, but why can't you be the selector? Why can't she be the one submitting the application? And when you have the frame going into the date that you're the selector, she's the one applying, then it's going to work out much better for you.

4:52 Now, certainly you're applying too. I'm not just saying that women are the only ones who are trying to get us, but that kind of has to be how it's framed in your head. Because in society, it's always framed that women are the selector. Why are they selector? Because guys are trying to get their sex. Well, women are trying to get relationships. So why can't we reframe it? So when you say, hey, you know, I might have to cut out, it kind of sets that precedence that you're the selector.

5:17 And then if she doesn't make the cut, hey, I got to get going. Okay. So that's kind of like breaking it off during the first date. I would do it too. As I spoke about in a previous episode, when the girl had too much saliva, when I'd kiss her, she had bad breath. She did the helicopter tongue maneuver. When I'd kiss her, she'd do the jackhammer tongue maneuver. When I'd kiss her, she'd grab my penis with way too much force, whatever it may be that gets her blown out.

5:43 You know, I always want to build that in and you guys should do that too. Because the last thing you want to do is get stuck on like some three hour date where you're spending a hundred dollars. Dude, fuck that. You do that once, you'll never do it again. I'm talking about getting out of dates for 10 bucks. And I'm going to talk about that when I get into first date, second date, my dating sequence. But you want to make it real inexpensive. Good way to do that is to go to like a bar or a lounge or something with a happy hour or something like that.

6:11 It's a good way you can get out for a reasonable price. Okay. So let's say the first date goes, you're not really into her. So what I suggest is you text her. No need to do a phone call. We're not going to even do a phone call until we've been dating her for a couple of months because it's just uncomfortable. I've had girls try to like argue with me over the phone when I've broken it off. So when possible, do it with text. Now, should you just ghost them?

6:36 Never write them again. That's up to you. I think it's kind of a douche move myself. I don't like it when a girl would do that to me. So why would I do that to her? But here's what I say. Here's the ultimate template that I would use. Hey, Kristen, it was a lot of fun hanging out with you, but I don't feel there's enough chemistry between us to warrant continuing this forward. I don't want to waste your time. And as such, I think it's best that we part ways.

7:01 I wish you nothing but the best. So that's it. So there's a couple key things in there. Okay. First of all, I didn't feel there was enough chemistry. You know, I didn't feel that we had a connection. You can even say that. I didn't feel there was enough of a connection between us to warrant continuing forward. So you're just feeling like, Hey, it's not really going to work out. She can't really argue with that because for you, there just wasn't enough there. Now, the big one that's really effective is I don't want to waste your time.

7:28 Girls always have time at the top of their mind. They don't want to waste their time either. So when you point that out, like, Hey, I feel like this would be a waste of your time. Then that makes them take the whole quote unquote breakup a lot easier. And then you say, I think it's best that we part ways. I just like that term part ways. It, in my opinion, is less brutal than saying, I think it's best. We don't see each other anymore. We just be friends.

7:52 I hate that whole, just be friends thing. Just part ways. You guys both know you're never going to talk again. So just be cool about it. Be cordial. It's best we part ways. And then you say, I wish you nothing but the best. You could even say, I think you're a great girl or something like that. But I don't even think that's necessary. And she can kind of tell it's bullshit. You know, I used to do the old sandwich maneuver. Anytime you deliver bad news, what you basically do is you sandwich it between two compliments.

8:17 So, Hey, um, I think you're an awesome person, but you're an idiot. So I'm getting rid of you, but Hey, I think you're a great girl. It's like, it's so obvious, right? So I really like that template. I'm going to go through it once again, perhaps slightly differently, but it's something like this. Hey Kelly, I had a great time with you, but I don't think there's enough chemistry here to warrant continuing forward. I don't want to waste your time. So I think it's best we part ways.

8:40 I wish you nothing but the best. Okay. So that's what you say when you've been dating her once, twice, maybe even for a couple of weeks. My parameters for doing a phone call is when we've been dating for a couple of months and when we're boyfriend and girlfriend. So if it's been labeled as boyfriend and girlfriend, I think a text is a little bit douchey and you should probably call her. So the phone call is basically the same thing. Hey, we've been dating for a couple of months.

9:07 You know, I thought that we were a great match, but I'm seeing things that don't seem congruent to me to justify continuing this forward into like a long-term relationship. I think that you're an amazing girl. I had a great time with you, but I just don't see this going much further and I don't want to waste your time. So I think it's best that we part ways. Once again, I think the world of you and I wish you nothing but the best. And, you know, I hope if I see you in public, we can be cordial with each other, but that's my decision.

9:37 So there's not a lot there that she can argue with. Although I will tell you, some girls will try to argue with you. She'll be like, yeah, but you know, people can change and you can't really tell with, with just a couple of months. Like, you know, we can make this work. And guys, as much as I hate to admit it, I even did this with my first girlfriend when she was trying to break up with me. God, poor girl. What a jackass I was, but I was like trying to rationalize her into it.

10:00 And as we've discussed ad nauseum in this podcast, you cannot rationalize a girl into any decision whatsoever. You want a girl to stick around. There's one and only one way to make that happen. Make her fall in love with you. So you could put labels on it. We're boyfriend and girlfriend. You can ask her to marry you, get you guys are engaged. Doesn't matter. Women still cheat on their fiance as do guys. The only thing that really keeps it together is her being very emotionally in love.

10:28 So anyway, if she is in love with you, and this was, this happened to my client recently. He told me, he's like, Hey Mark, she told me I was in love with her. And I was like, what'd you say? He's like, I said, I love you back. And I was like, what do you? He's like, no. I was like, why'd you say it? He's like, cause I didn't know what else to say. Well, what you say is the truth. Hey, you know, I'm developing feelings for you too.

10:49 My feelings are moving very quickly, but I'm not there yet. But who knows? Possibly what time I could get there. So when a girl says, I love you, it's kind of implied that she wants to know where you stand back. And that's what I'd say if I wasn't there. I mean, I'd be completely honest. I'm not going to lie and tell her that I love her. And then when I finally do love her, if I do, which is exceptionally rare, obviously, but if you do, then you just let her know like, Hey, I got some good news for you.

11:17 What's that? Oh, I love you now. Oh my God. And she'll get so stoked on that. So that's the way to handle that. Okay. So the phone call once again is you deliver the news very similarly to how you do it over text, but you do it over phone call and you might want to use the old sandwich maneuver, right? Like I had a great time with you. I think just the world of you, I think you're an amazing woman, but I don't see us having the potentiality to work out.

11:42 So I think it's best that we part ways. You may even want to use the old friend thing. Like, I think it's best that we be friends because this is your girlfriend, right? Like we're saying you guys have dated two, three, four, five plus months. And she's like, she's like your girlfriend. So that warrants a phone call. Now, I really don't suggest pretty much ever doing it in person unless you're in a situation where it's like you live with the chick, which would be my situation, right?

12:08 So I've been with Marissa for years. We have a very, very close relationship. We have a baby together. Am I going to call her? Like I'm in my basement in the office and she's like upstairs in her room. And I'm like, Hey, just so you know, I think it's best we part ways. I'm just not really feeling the chemistry here. Well, first of all, I'm not going to break up with her because I'm very happy in my relationship right now. But secondly, obviously if you're like really committed to this chick, you guys have been dating for, I don't know, maybe a year or more, you know, you, you have clothes at her house.

12:39 She has stuff at your house. Maybe you're living together. You have joint bank accounts. You guys bought a dog together. You have a picture of the both of you at the Eiffel tower in France, right? It's like, okay, this is probably going to require a sit down. And it's the same thing, man. You just, you just be honest. And the honest truth is you just don't see it going further than where it is now. You don't see it developing. You don't think you guys are compatible and long-term.

13:04 And the whole underlying theory of this is, is that there's more than just one person who's compatible for you. In my opinion, we have literally thousands and thousands of quote unquote soulmates. So like with me, right? If Marissa and I, for some reason, we didn't work out, I'm under no illusions. Like I could probably meet another girl who I can get along with. It's going to take me a while. I mean, it took me a shit ton of time to finally meet her. Somebody who I relate to, like she's my best friend and she's hot and she has a good head on her shoulders.

13:35 Like all the standards that we lay out, right? It's not easy to find that, but we have to have an abundance mindset that if I get good enough at game, I can sift through the fodder and find the pearls that are in the shit. So that needs to be your mindset. And, and her too, you know, if she's a really high quality girl, she knows she can get another dude. Like she's hot. She's going places. She's got a good head on her shoulders. She has a line of dudes waiting for her.

14:00 Like I'm under no illusions, bro. Like if I broke it off with Marissa, there's a line of dudes who would be down to, to date her. Even, even when she has a kid with me anyway, if indeed you have to break it up with her in person, that's the way you do it. You guys just have a sit down. Maybe you strategically pack up your stuff first so you can get the hell out of there. You know, be smart about it, but I always suggest being honest and make, make it like the longterm because chicks are always thinking about time.

14:28 They're always thinking about investment and she might get a little bit pissed, you know, but that's just what you have to deal with. And there's another thing here is it's better to break up with the girl sooner rather than later, because we can look at it as pushing her off a cliff. If you guys have been dating for, I don't know, a couple of weeks, you're like pushing her off. I don't know, a second story building. But if you've been dating her for months, then we're going up to like five floors.

14:54 You've been dating her for a year or more than we're like pushing her off 10 floors. And every time you procrastinate, it just gets worse and worse and worse. She gets more into you. She gets more invested. She's thinking more about longterm stuff. So if you're thinking about breaking it off with a girl, just do it now, man, be a man, grab your balls, pull the trigger. I guarantee you, it's not going to be as bad as you think it is. Even if you have to call her or do it in person, when you use that template, hold the frame.

15:21 Don't be a little punk. Don't let her convince you to come back to her and you'd be like, okay, I'll give it another shot. If you've determined that breaking it off is the best thing for you, then you need to stick to that. And you know, it's brutal. It's brutal. And that's part of the reason I got out of just being a player. I did it for years and years and years. And like, I hurt so many girls. I mean, my karma points must be just brutal because I've hurt so many girls.

15:48 And even though I didn't lead them on, I was always honest about it. I didn't like lie to them and tell them I love them just to have sex with them. It still hurt them. And I've hurt a ton of girls and you know, it's kind of fucked up. So it's a little bit of like the player's curse is you want to get it wet. You want to get as many girls as you can. You want to get a harem. Well, there's always a bad repercussion that comes from that.

16:10 So while I suggest all of you, especially you guys who are training up and trying to get good with women, I suggest you dip into that. I do. I suggest you date lots of girls, experiment, get good at your game, get this skillset down. Not only because you gain a skillset with attracting women, but it also makes you better in life in general. You get to be a better communicator. You can handle social pressure. You get better at sales. Everything in your life improves when you improve with women.

16:37 But eventually there comes a time when you need to, you know, sift through hundreds and even thousands of girls and find your queen. And when you find that queen, well, having a relationship is also a skillset that you need to develop. It's a very similar skillset, by the way. I still use game on Marissa. I still keep her attracted. I know I have to keep her in the bucket or she's going to leave me because everybody's always looking for the upgrade, upgrade plan. And even these girls that you're dating are looking for the upgrade plan.

17:07 So once again, to keep her really interested, you got to game it up, get her to get really deep emotions for you. But then remember, we're playing with fire here because when you do that and you get sick of it, which we all do usually because we get sick of the sex, I'm just going to be honest with you. And you know it too. Like some chicks are like a one dip skip, right? You just want to hit it and quit it because she's like just hot enough to like want to dip in that.

17:31 And then you're going to blow her out. Well, you need to know going in, that's what I'm going to do. So maybe I won't use the full level of my skills to make her fall completely head over heels in love with me. So in this mess, there's always calibration, but there are ways to do it where you can sleep at night, with knowing that you're not being a completely moral asshole, but instead you're kind of like sifting through all the girls to find your queen. That's always the way I looked at it.

17:58 And if any of the chicks were like, man, you know, I know about you, you're always talking to girls. And I'm like, well, I'm looking, I'm looking for my queen. I'm looking for the best one for me. There's no harm in that is there. And that's the way I'd always rationalize that. So that's how to break it off with the girl. When you guys get really good, you're going to have to do this a lot. So I suggest you take notes on this and basically deploy what I did.

18:19 Cause it always worked the best for me. It never works good. It's never like you get off the phone and you're joyous or you send the text and you feel good about it. It's a shitty feeling. It's a shitty experience, but it's part of what you have to master in order to really be what this is, which is basically a guy who's a girl magnet, who has lots of choices. Unfortunately, when we have lots of choices, we have to deal with these situations. And in my opinion, that's the best way to do it.

18:42 So anyways, guys, that's my thoughts on that. I hope to help you out a little bit. If you want to learn more about me, check me out at coachmarksing.com. And other than that, guys, I got some great content coming up for you next week. So please come back and I will see you in the next podcast. We'll see you in the next podcast.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.