HOW TO COMPLETELY ERASE NEGATIVITY IN YOUR LIFE (***One of the most important episodes I've ever recorded***)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. If this is your first time writing with me, welcome. What I try to do here is give the best information in the shortest amount of time possible. And if you've been writing with me for a long time, you know what to do.

0:33 That's right. Smack yourself on the ass. You are a champion. And today I'm going to show you how much of a champion you are by helping you to dissolve the negativity in your head. You know, so many guys out there are negative. They're bitter at women. They're bitter about life. And they believe subconsciously that complaining about things, being negative about things is going to change something, but it isn't. And I'm going to get into why we have that subconscious belief, why it only makes our life worse when we're negative and how to switch into a largely positive mindset, a realistically positive mindset, not one of those airy fairy mindsets, but a realistic positive go-getter masculine mindset so that we can start attracting positive things into our life and get the life we really desire.

1:20 And that's what we all want. Don't we? We all want to be happy. We all want to be fulfilled. We all want to have a sense of purpose. Yet so many people just are seething in negativity and you have to look at them and say, why the hell are you doing that? It obviously isn't working for you. So why do people do that? Well, I definitely have a lot of thoughts as well as a lot of scientific evidence to share with you as to why people do that.

1:39 So we're going to jump into that today. I also want to let you guys know that my NLP coaching is open. If you want to get some NLP dating coaching with me, go ahead and jump over to my website, coachmarksing.com. Check out my website and click on coaching. Look at the myriad of testimonials that are on there. I actually just threw up some new ones if you want to check them out. And at the end of this podcast episode, I'm going to read some testimonials that I got from current students.

2:12 One of my new students said, you know, I'd love to hear where guys were when they first started compared to where they are now. And I asked them in our Facebook group to do that. And so much love was shown about the results that I've gotten, man. It really brought a tear to my eye. Of course, as you know, my non shooting, I can't, can't have a tear well up in that shooting eye. Cause you got to see the target fixated always on the target, but man, I got so much love dumped on there.

2:33 So I'm going to read some of those comments. They totally hit me by surprise. I wasn't even like trying to get them to talk about me. I was just trying to get them to talk about themselves and the progress they've made since working with me. And some of the things they said is absolutely phenomenal. So I want to share that with you, but I'm not going to do it in the beginning. Cause I know you guys want the info, but if you're interested in getting coaching with me, stay tuned to the very end.

3:00 So you can see the kinds of results that these guys are getting. If you feel like you have one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake, if you feel like you have some programming in your brain that is preventing you from getting success with women, then you're the exact guy that I work with. I can reprogram your brain sometimes in as little as one session and get you the results that you want to get with women. Yes, it is that powerful. And at the end, I'm going to show you just how powerful it's been for my awesome clients.

3:28 So without further ado, guys, let's get into why negativity is such a horrible thing, why it's ruining your life and how to eradicate it from your mindset once and for all. So a few years ago, I came up with this concept that kind of occurred to me as to why people complain, why people are negative, why people cry about their life and say to everybody that they're on struggle street and try to be victims and try to feel sorry for themselves. And I believe there's a few reasons for that.

3:58 First of which is this, when we're infants, how do we get what we want? We get what we want by crying, by complaining, by making a ruckus. So ever since the time we're born, we believe that by doing something negative, such as crying, we get what we want. Well, what happens, I believe, is that people don't evolve out of that. And we have an unconscious belief that negativity, complaining, crying, having a woe's me attitude will somehow attract to ourselves or earn ourselves that which we're going for.

4:30 But obviously, as we've all found, it doesn't work that way. In fact, in a previous podcast episode, I talked about the law of attraction. And the law of attraction states that you become what you think about most. So if you're complaining about things, then you're going to get more of those shitty things. If you're positive about things, then you're going to get more of those things. So the secret, of course, is to be appreciative and focus on the positive things in life because then your life will become more positive.

4:57 Well, why does it happen that so many of us get into this negative spiral and it just keeps going and going and going? It's almost like we get negative, then we get shitty situations attracted to us. Then we get pissed off about those, get more negative. And it's like this downward spiral. Yet we continue to subconsciously believe, and this is programming, by the way, and this is what we do with NLP. We subconsciously believe that our negativity is going to somehow buy our way out of our shitty situation.

5:26 But it just doesn't work that way. And it's this downward spiral. And I just think to myself of these homeless drunks or these meth addicts that live in mobile home parks who are just like super ultra negative and who are like always complaining and always yelling at their women and getting the cops called on them. And, and, you know, these people you see on that show cops, they're just stuck in this man. And it's really, really sad to watch because it literally deteriorates your entire life.

5:55 Now for you, you probably struggle a little bit with women, or maybe you're getting better from that and you're starting to ascend out of it. Well, I have to tell you, brother, you need to eradicate every fucking single last negative thought that you have in your head, bar none, every single one. Literally, I do not let myself speak negatively, neither about myself, or I try not to speak negatively about other people. Now I have to admit to you outright that I haven't reached the second one.

6:24 I haven't accomplished that. I particularly talk shit about fat chicks because they fucking piss me off. Nothing's worse than a beautiful woman who let herself get fat. God, I hate that about the American society. So I have some work to do where that's concerned, but about myself, I literally never say anything negative about myself. Never. I just don't let it happen because I almost feel like my internal state is a shrine that needs to be respected. And if I say something negative on myself, basically what I'm doing is hawking a big loogie or throwing my leg up on the shoulder of that shrine and launching diarrhea all over my own fucking face.

6:58 It's the stupidest thing you can do because it literally ruins your life. And this is a level of strength, isn't it? It's easy to be negative. It's so fucking easy. It's so simple. It's a pussy way out is to just be negative. It's the weak man's way to deal with life. The strong man says, you know what? This fucking sucks. And I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to get solution oriented. You can still recognize a problem and say to yourself, dude, this fucking sucks.

7:28 But the masculine man says, bro, I'm going to think of a solution and I'm going to solve it. I'm not going to dwell in negativity and cry about it and feel really bad about myself. Yeah, we can all vent. Okay. Venting is very healthy. But once that shit is over, you say, no, no, no, I'm not dwelling in this negativity. I'm going to rise above it and I'm going to think of the solution. Okay. The second reason I believe we are negative is because our egos, which is another podcast I recently did latches on to that victim identity.

8:00 So the ego wants to identify with anything, whether it identifies as you being a ladies man, you being a surfer, you being an awesome hockey player, you being an awesome businessman. It doesn't matter. It will even latch onto you being a hard done by person, you being on struggle street, you having it worse than everybody else. So that's a second reason that negativity seems to breed in a lot of people's lives. Now there's actually a third reason that just popped into my head. And the third reason actually has to do with neuropathic pathways that go through your brain.

8:35 So synapses travel across these pathways in your brain. I'm not a neurologist. I'm not a professional about brains, but this is my basic understanding is that you have synapses which travel across, which give you the feelings, make you think certain things, et cetera. Well, what happens is when we're stuck in a predominantly negative mind space, what happens is that synapses travels across that trail over and over again, the negativity, right? Like the weather sucks. My life sucks. I don't have enough money. And it becomes familiar in a way.

9:02 And like a trail in the forest, that trail is cleared, right? There's no weeds growing over it. It's very easy to travel down. So when you have that synapses, it's familiar to you, it's easy to travel down. And in a weird way, it feels good. It feels good both because the synapses can fire off easily. And it also feels good because our ego gets gratification about feeling better than others because we're victimized. Isn't that interesting? So what happens is we keep traveling down this path like, oh, life sucks.

9:31 Oh, woes me. Oh, I have problems. Negative, negative, negative. Or I suck. I'm an idiot. I'm terrible with women. And that's just how you've been in a pattern. This pattern continues to happen. Well, when you finally realize that, oh shit, this negativity is not helping me. This negativity is going to get me nowhere. This negativity, in fact, is going to attract to myself more of a shitty life than I have now. So I better fucking get rid of this and I better do this now. So in a moment, I'm going to give you some tactics and steps for how to change your mindset.

10:04 But for now, when you first realize this, awareness alone is curative. So what you start to do is monitor your thoughts and begin to change to positive thoughts. So instead of saying, I'm an idiot, you say to yourself, as is in another podcast I recorded, you know what? I'm working on myself. I'm trying my best so I can be my own hero. You say that it's kind of a difficult pathway to go down because you've never really used it before. It's covered with weeds. It's not clear.

10:32 You've never been down that way. Well, you do it again and again and again. And what happens? It starts to get clear to those weeds. And what happens to the negative pathway when you stop using it? That's right. It gets grown over. It's harder to travel down. So me, for example, to say to myself, I'm ugly and I'm an idiot, it just feels wrong. It feels completely incongruent with who I am. It feels incongruent with my identity. It feels incongruent even in my own brain because I'm constantly telling myself, bro, you're a champion.

11:02 You are your own hero. You're a girl magnet. You're a legend. Dude, you're an awesome guy. You have great intentions. You're trying to help these guys. Even tonight, man, I'm fucking blasted, bro. I worked my ass off all day. Tons of coaching clients. I'm preparing for a camping trip with Marissa that we're taking this weekend. I'm smoked. But see, I have integrity because I promised you, that's right, you, bro, the guy listening to this right now that I would film this podcast and drop it on Wednesday.

11:35 So I said, sack the fuck up, go do the podcast. And now that I'm doing it, I am my own hero because I keep the promises I make to you as well as the promises I make to myself. That feels good. Boom. The synapsis goes down that pathway and that gives me a positive energy momentum. When I'm in a positive energy momentum, I attract to myself more positive things. I appreciate life. I appreciate myself and I get more and more and more. My life keeps getting better and better.

12:04 It's an upward spiral, as they say. And that's how the neurology in your mind works. Now, let's talk about what positivity really is, okay? One of the things that irritates me the most, and this is what kind of turned me off from spirituality. I used to be really into spirituality, metaphysical stuff, all that kind of spiritual stuff. And I used to go to those bookstores and I used to deal with a lot of those hippie dippy type of people. And I'm still kind of got a little bit in me for sure.

12:30 But what really bothers me is I always felt that they were kind of in a delusion. They were being overly optimistic. Like, oh no, everything's good. Everything's great. There is no struggle. There is no negativity. But dude, there is. Life is fucking hard. There is murder. There is war. There is rape. There is all these negative things. So how do you reconcile with that and continue to be a positive person? Well, I believe the purpose of negativity is to define happiness. After all, it takes the dark for there to be light.

13:00 And if there was no negativity, there could be no happiness. There could be no enlightenment. It takes two sides of the coin to achieve that. So let me ask you a question. Let's take one of the worst things that ever happened to you. And let's let's have it be far enough in the past where all the results of it have already manifested. So we're going to take the worst thing that ever happened to you. And we're going to write out a list of all the good things that came from it and all the bad things that came from it.

13:28 When you write out that list, what you usually find is that they're about equal. A lot of good things came out of it. A lot of bad things came out of it. And once again, this isn't a bad thing that happened last year where the results haven't fully played themselves out. This is like 10 years ago, 15 years ago, 20 years ago. So for me, about 15 years ago, I had panic attacks, agoraphobia. I had a really bad mental situation with anxiety. Well, honestly, that was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

14:00 Why? Because it led me into self-development. I wouldn't be here talking to you today unless that had happened to me. I wouldn't be into spirituality. I wouldn't be into meditation. I wouldn't be into NLP. I would have never found NLP were it not for anxiety. So can I really say that the anxiety and the panic attacks and the agoraphobia and all the hell, bro, I'm talking hell, H-E-L-L, capitalized. I went through, wasn't worth it. No, it was worth it. In fact, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.

14:31 I also believe that as men, the only way we become complete in our masculinity is to go through the suffering, to go through the hell, to go through the calamity, because then we know what it's like on the other side of the coin. If we were all born into greatness and we never suffered, if we never had the experience and the knowledge of what happens over there, we're not complete as men. We're not well-rounded. So take pride in your suffering. I had one of my clients tell me tonight, bro, I was an alcoholic.

14:59 I married this terrible girl. You know, I was a really shitty person back then. And I was like, good, bro. I'm proud of you, man. It's fucking awesome. And he looked at me with some, you know, a strange look. And I said, look, you are now complete. You have the majority of experience. You understand both sides of the coin. And I believe as far as we go down, inversely, that's how far we can go up. And unless we've gone down that far, we cannot propel ourselves upward unless we have that balance of experience, that slingshot effect where we go back, back, back, down, down, down.

15:32 Then we let ourselves go and we go all the way up that much higher. So when I think about being positive, I think that every situation that happens is a way to spur your development. And because every situation that happens is something to spur your development, it's the fuel for your fire of self-development, then it's a good thing. Even the calamities, even the bad things in life, because look, even something as horrible, and I'm going deep down the rabbit hole here, and maybe you guys will disagree with me, but even something as horrible as the Holocaust had good that came out of it.

16:04 Compassion for other human beings, knowledge of what the human potential is capable of, commitment to never doing that again, realizing that antisemitism is a stupid, unbelievably ridiculous belief. All these things that came out of it, compassion, love, joy. Let's have peace in this world because of what happened. Let's never let that happen again. And God willing, it doesn't happen again. But if that didn't happen, we wouldn't have the depth of insight into what is possible on the other side of the coin, the level of compassion that we can feel for another human being based on what happened during that time in World War II.

16:50 So I believe that there's a point to all suffering. Suffering makes us wake up to enlightenment. That in fact, enlightenment isn't possible without the juxtaposition of suffering. Happiness is not possible without the juxtaposition of suffering. And I've seen it in my own life. In my 20s, I was suffering terribly, terribly. I held a fucking shotgun in my mouth. I was put in a sanitarium for a week because I was suicidal. And now today, I am one of the happiest people on this earth because I had that situation and because I was able to rise above it.

17:19 Those who don't rise above it, I have serious compassion for them because they got stuck in negativity. But you, as you listen to podcasts like this one, as you work on yourself to develop yourself, understand that, wow, my suffering really had a purpose. My suffering was actually a gift, but I'm no longer going to be involved in it. I'm not going to give it power over me. And that's when you make the choice and you make it right now. Never again will I let a negative thought come into my head, neither about myself, and I'm with you on this one, or about other people.

17:53 I am going to control it. So, how do we do that? It starts with awakening to this reality that negativity always and only equals negativity. And here it is. A happy life cannot be gained through negativity. It is physically and energetically impossible. The only way to get a happy life is through positivity, through a PMA, positive mental attitude. And as cheesy as that sounds, we know that being positive doesn't mean everything is great. It means that things fucking suck sometimes, but that's good because that's fuel for the fire of self-development.

18:35 That's the juxtaposition of good things in life. That gives definition to love, joy, peace, happiness, ambition, purpose, all the things that make you a man, a masculine man. So, that's what I believe being positive is. And when you go into your negativity and see it for what it really is, it's your baby self, your infant self saying, this isn't good, and crying for milk from your mom. Bro, it doesn't work anymore. My daughter just turned one years old and she's still crying for things. And I'm starting to teach her.

19:06 I'm like, no, no, that's not going to get you what you want. And I'm going to teach her through her life that this negativity isn't going to get you what you want. It worked when you were a baby because that was the only way you could communicate with us. But in life, the way you get what you want is with positivity. You catch more bees with honey, as they say. So, as your thoughts come in, these negative thoughts, here's what I want you to do. Identify them and then say, nope, nope, nope.

19:32 I'm not buying into that. Reframe it and say, nope, I'm not a fucking idiot. I'm not a loser. I'm not ugly. I'm not fill in the blank. And replace it. It's as simple as that. The little NLP technique is you say, uh-uh-uh, erase that. And then you replace it with the positive thought. That's it, you guys. There's no magic to this. Here's what it is. It's monitoring yourself like a fucking man. Not letting those negative thoughts come in by using discipline. Realizing that complaining is often an egoic desire to make yourself feel above others and dropping that shit.

20:07 Being a man, taking responsibility, being positive, going into life saying, you know what? This sucks. Good. I'm going to enter this pain because when I enter the pain willingly, that's when I grow as a man. A lot of the things that I do in my life, I don't want to do. But I know that through discipline, doing the things that I don't want to do, doing the things that are hard, doing something shitty every day makes me a better man. And because I have that mentality that I'm trying to transfer to you right now on this episode, because I have that, I have achieved a life of happiness.

20:43 I am one of the happiest people you will ever meet because of the way I look at calamity, the way I look at negativity and how I've reframed it in my own mind. First, you think of the picture, then you paint it, then you step inside of it. What picture are you going to think of? Are you going to think of woes me, struggle street, this fucking sucks? Then brother, that's going to be your reality. Or are you going to think, you know what? This calamity is making me stronger.

21:10 I'm becoming a more masculine man and happiness is on the other side of saying yes to the struggle. Then you're going to be happy just as I am. And finally, I want to end this with a couple of quotes that I really like. Wayne Dyer said, don't believe everything you think. Don't believe everything you think. That is such a profound statement. Don't believe it, man. And instead, think something else and believe that. You choose your reality by the thoughts that go on inside your head. So choose a better reality and choose it now.

21:39 And finally, Mark Twain said, I have lived a life full of many problems, most of which never happened. And that too is what happens with the negativity in the mind as we dwell on what could happen. Oh, this woes me. And most of it is just bullshit. Most of it is just an illusion. So now you as the man have to take discipline and control of your life and choose the thoughts that you want to have. And I guarantee you, brother, once you start changing to a more positive mindset, and once again, positive is realizing that everything has its place.

22:15 And even the bad shit is good because it spurs growth. And growth is what's positive. When you take on that mindset, take responsibility for it, and have a predominantly positive mindset, your life will explode in positive ways that I cannot even explain to you. This really is the secret to life, is to control your thoughts, to be appreciative, and to reframe every situation, seeing that it too has a benefit to you becoming the best version of yourself. All right, guys, and if you're still here with me, if you're interested in hearing a few testimonials about my coaching, I'd like to read this one first.

22:53 Hey guys, I started working with Mark during the early part of the summer. The amount of positive change that has been coming has been amazing. A couple years ago, I went through a series of tough situations, the divorce, heavy debt as a result, my father passing, and then another bad relationship that triggered some really disabling, limiting beliefs that I thought I had overcome. Nope, they were just buried. My confidence level was next to none. I had a dating app on my phone that stayed unopened for months until I started working with Mark.

23:19 Through his NLP sessions, coaching, and just man-to-man talks, I felt like a completely different man. Every day is a push, but I know I'm heading in the right direction I want to be at. My abundance mindset and confidence levels are moving way up, and my success with women are improving every single day. There's a lot of these, and I'll just read one more. Before Mark Singh, I was able to get girls' phone numbers, but not much progress after that. Basically, as soon as I opened my mouth and started to talk to them, I lost them.

23:50 My confidence was at the bottom, and my anxiety was sky high. I'm now six weeks in working with Mark, and my confidence is now sky high. When I walk into a room, I'm the man, and they notice. Even several of the girls I work with have commented, there's something different about you. As you progress, your body language and tonality will transform naturally. In fact, one of those girls that I work with has now begun to chase me. Can you believe that I went from repelling women to women actually chasing me?

24:15 I was struggling in the beginning too, but when you slowly exit your comfort zone a little bit more each week, eventually you realize, why the hell was I afraid or anxious about that? I won't fool you. There will be a lot of material to learn, but what Mark Singh does is cut through all of that crap and gets right to the most important and critical stuff. I really appreciate those two testimonials, guys, if you're listening. Big shout out to the both of you. There's a lot more testimonials on this thread, but I'll save those for some other podcasts.

24:41 But brother, listen, if you're struggling, if you want some help, if you want to change your mind into a positive mindset, then check me out. Coachmarksing.com. Click on coaching. Read all the testimonials on there. I think there's almost 30 on there now, and I'd love to meet you, man. If you're struggling, then you're exactly the kind of guy that I can help. And if you feel like you have one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake, then hit me up and let's get through this together.

25:06 After all, me helping you is just you helping yourself because you already know everything I'm teaching. You just haven't woken up to it yet. So all I am is a street sign pointing you to what you already know. And that's my job as your coach is to do that in the fastest, easiest way possible. Well, guys, that was a pretty intense one. I do appreciate you staying this long. If you're still on board, I'm coming swinging with another awesome podcast on Friday, probably something a little less intense as this one.

25:39 Yeah, I'm actually going to do something about frame control. I think it's called letting. So I'm really excited to teach you guys about that. So stay tuned. And I do appreciate you listening and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.