How to Crush Women's "Bitch Shields" When First Approaching & Opening

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate your patronage. And today, we're going to talk about what's commonly referred to as a woman's bitch shield. Bitch shield. So what is this? It's basically that bitchiness that women often give us when we first approach them, particularly when they're hot and particularly when they've been already annoyed by the guys who already have been approaching them.

0:44 They'll either give you the hot girl, blasé, ignoring you. They'll tell you to piss off or they'll basically look at you. And this is more common in day game type scenarios. Like, what do you want from me? What are you trying to sell me? And it's always awkward in the first, you know, 5, 10, 15, 20 seconds. And we're going to talk about, first of all, why women do this and why you'd probably do it too. And what to do to get past it, to get over it so that you can engage her in conversation.

1:12 And of course, get her attracted to you, yank her phone number and date her later. Before I get into the content, want to let you guys know again that my one-on-one free breakthrough session where you and I get on the phone together, we get on Zoom, is still available. I actually just had a client email me and he said, Mark, this NLP shit is basically magic, magic, bro. Magic in my brain, removing these negative belief systems like a splinter from my brain, he said. And I was like, yeah, you know, there's no such thing as magic and I'm not going to sit here saying that there is.

1:44 But in my opinion, it's the closest thing to magic that I've ever found. And I'll tell you what, it absolutely saved my life. NLP is neuro-linguistic programming. I am one of the few dating coaches, actually the only dating coach that I know of, that uses NLP in conjunction with teaching you the tactical aspects of approaching women, getting them attracted to you and dating them later on, making them fall in love with you. Or I should say being the man who's worthy of a high quality woman to fall in love with and how to maintain a really successful relationship.

2:20 And then in addition to that, I use this NLP thing, which again is neuro-linguistic programming, to basically reprogram your brain back to your natural self-esteem. So the theory is, is that you were born with a healthy self-esteem. Through your life, people, other people have screwed you up. You couldn't defend yourself from it. And now you're working with outdated belief systems, typically of your mom, your dad, your relatives that aren't getting you the results that you want. You may have been ripped on as a kid. I get all kinds of clients.

2:46 I hear that, bro, you would not believe the shit that I hear. And I always take people's privacy very seriously. I would never talk about your issues on this podcast, but I'm just going to let you know, man, if you have issues, you are not alone, bro. Like the things I read every single day. And you know what? I have compassion for it. And furthermore, I was that guy. I mean, I was the hardest case ever. And I almost lost my mind. I was living in Japan, had so much anxiety.

3:12 I could hardly function. And I tried everything. I tried Xanax. I tried psychologists, psychiatrists, all kinds of shit. And then I was like, NLP, this sounds like complete crap. But I tried it and it literally rescued me, you know, from my anxiety, limiting belief systems. And now for all intents and purposes, I am a girl magnet. I'm very happy. I have no anxiety whatsoever. And I attribute that completely to this NLP. So when you join my program in that free breakthrough session is to see if you and I are a good fit for each other for that three month coaching program, there's NLP that's in conjunction with the tactical training.

3:44 So you do 12 weeks of NLP with me, we completely reprogram your brain. So if you feel like you have one foot on the gas, one foot on the brake, NLP could be specifically for you. So if you're interested in that, go to my website, coachmarksing.com. You can also click the link in the description below. Click on the upper right-hand corner. It's called coaching, fill in the goddamn slap in the biscuit and you and I will get on that one-on-one breakthrough session together. I do have a lot of guys hitting me up and I am needing to put certain parameters in place before I just accept you into the program.

4:16 But you know what, if you want to get better with women, if you want to improve this part of your life, and most importantly, if you are a 10 out of 10 commitment, then I want to meet you and any other limitations you may be up against can usually be worked with depending on your situation. So if you're serious, hit me up, man. I want to meet you. All right. So to start this episode, I want to tell a little story about what happened this weekend. I saw a study that said half of the United States population has at least had one of their COVID-19 vaccinations.

4:49 So that tells me that within the next few months, it is going to be an absolute party. And man, I was so stoked because we got to go party this weekend. We went up to a city called Black Hawk here in Colorado. It's a casino town. I believe it's built in an old mining town. That's like an Indian reservation. So they have gambling and casinos, but dude, it was popping, man. There was tons of people there. It was just like old times, right? It was just like back in the old days, 2018, man.

5:15 Remember those days when we actually used to go out and mingle with people and have fun? Well, bro, it was so fun. I was out with my girlfriends and my girlfriends are really hot. So obviously they get a lot of attention from the dudes. So this guy comes over and he starts talking to us, but he's mostly focused on one of my girlfriends. And the whole time, the vibe in the group was, let's just get rid of this guy. Like he's just sucking value out of the group.

5:40 Now, as I talk about and spoke about in the episode, approaching groups, you obviously want to give value and you don't want to leave people out. So he did a number of things wrong and I'm cool with guys. You know what I mean? Because I'm a dating coach and I know how much balls it takes for that dude to come over and talk to three solid nines and a guy who's obviously, you know, doing pretty well with these girls. It took a lot of balls. So I respected that, but bro, he went about it in the completely wrong way.

6:06 Focused on his target, took the energy out of the conversation, was creepy. And the whole time we were kind of looking at each other being like, how do we get rid of this guy? So that reminded me of what it's like to be a hot girl. Okay. So let's look at a hot girl's reality. A hot girl is constantly in a situation where people are trying to get things from her, not only guys, but also other girls. And with other girls, it's often jealousy. Okay. So she's being hated on by other girls.

6:36 Girls are talking behind her back. They're being catty with her. And then dudes are constantly approaching her, constantly being weird around her, constantly like having nerd mannerisms, trying to take her time. She's always inconvenienced. And most of all, guys are just staring at her in like a super creepy way. And I talked to my girlfriends about this this weekend. I was like, what's it like, you know, to be in that situation? I've had this conversation with many girls and they kind of reiterated what I just said.

7:08 It's good to be a hot girl. Like, I'm not going to try to say it's a bad thing because there are a lot of advantages that come with it. I'm not saying there aren't, but there's also that hassle of constantly being kind of looked at as a piece of meat. And that's the way a lot of times hot girls feel. Now we can have a whole big argument. I know a lot of you guys are really bitter at women. You're like, well, why do they dress up then?

7:27 Why do they do this? Whole different podcast. We're not getting into that. What I want you to do, first of all, is just put yourself in the shoes of a hot woman. Okay. Imagine every single day people are trying to sell you something. Every single day people are inconveniencing you, coming up to you and trying to take your time. Every single day somebody wants something from you. Okay. What would you do? Obviously you're going to put up what's commonly referred to as the bitch shield. Or if it were for dudes, it would be like the asshole shield, the douche canoe shield.

7:58 And if it were me personally, it would be a bronze Spartan shield sprayed with blood, bro, from warfare. So anyway, I mean, we do it too. And I dare say I've done it too, where I'm in a high status position. Guys are coming over to me trying to take something from me, which is like, get in my group with the girls, which is what happened with this dude. He comes over, he's talking about boring shit, interview type questions, not bringing value to it. And what do we do?

8:23 We turned around and we said, Hey man, we got to bust out of here. Good to meet you. Take it easy. Like I was cool to him, but he did it all in the wrong way. These girls were not into it. So he got blown out. Okay. But initially what he should have done. And one of the mistakes he made among many was he was affected by the fact that we were kind of bitchy towards him. I was cooler than the girls were, but the girls were pretty bitchy to him.

8:44 They're like, I don't, uh, yeah, what's up? What's up? Well, you know, I was wondering like, are you guys from this town? No, we're from Denver. Oh really? Like we're in Denver do you live? Right. And they're just being kind of bitchy towards him. And I was kind of, kind of watching it kind of giggling, but what he did wrong is first of all, he was affected by the bitch shield. Now, again, we put ourselves in the shoes of women. We understand why they're being bitchy because constantly people are trying to get things from them.

9:13 But the problem is, is when you're affected by it, in addition to not giving good energy, in addition to not including the entire group, and in addition to trying to be a taker, when you're affected by the woman's bitch shield, which basically means she's going to be bitchy to you up front because she thinks you're trying to get something from her. You have to prove otherwise through persevering and being unaffected by her bitch shield. So he did everything wrong. He was affected. He had nerd mannerisms.

9:44 He was all like weird. And then he got blown out. So from a woman's perspective, she's getting hit on all the time. So we can only empathize with the fact that in the first 5, 10, 15, 20, 30 seconds, depending on her hotness, depending on how many times she's been hit on, and depending on the venue, we're going to get different reactions. If she's super hot, been hit on a ton and is in a club where she's super high status, and you're like the 50th dude to hit on her, that bitch shield is going to be up for, could be a couple minutes.

10:16 If she's in the supermarket and you kind of hit her unaware, and like she's having a good day, it may only be up for, it may not even be up at all. Could be up just for a couple seconds or nothing. So it depends. But the secret to overcome the bitch shield is to be unaffected by it. Don't even notice that it's happening. So in a way, and this is really interesting, and this is why I love seduction, right? It's very counterintuitive. It's very nebulous. Certain rules apply to certain things, and then certain rules kind of are the opposite when it comes to certain things.

10:46 Well, what I always tell you guys to be is socially intelligent. Socially intelligent means exactly what we're doing today. Being able to put ourselves in the shoes of our target or of the other person we're speaking to, see it from their perspective, know that they're always asking what's in it for me. Nobody gives a fuck about you, bro. Like this is news for you. Nobody cares about what you want. They only care about what they want. So what we do is we put ourselves in the shoes.

11:14 What does this person want? What does this woman want? Okay. But at the same time, we almost have to be socially unintelligent by not picking up on the very obvious social cues that she's not really into the conversation in the very beginning. Okay. We've all been there, man. You're walking through Costco or like the supermarket or the mall. And some guy comes up to you and says, Hey, bro. Hey, bro. Have you ever heard of solar panels? And you're like, Oh my hell, this fucking jackass is going to try to sell me solar panels.

11:47 Yeah, bro. Like I'm not interested though, man. I got to go. And we see people selling shit. We have people come to our doors. We have people hit us up when we're shopping and we're constantly like, Oh, I got to avoid that guy. Well, sometimes that's the way women feel. So we can only empathize with the fact that they're going to kind of be bitchy to us. But the way, and think about this from a salesman perspective, the way the salesman perseveres past that initial bitchiness that we also throw towards people is by being unaffected by it, by still having good energy, by still being like cool, by still continuing with his speech or whatever he's going to say, and almost pretending like he doesn't notice that you're being bitchy towards him.

12:29 Okay. So you see how that's kind of socially unintelligent. When I approach a woman and she's being bitchy towards me, bro, I know what's happening. I'm like a hundred levels deep in the psychology of exactly what's happening, but I pretend like I don't even notice. Like I don't even see that she's kind of being a bitch to me. She may be turning her body language away from me. She may even be ignoring me. I almost pretend I don't notice. I do notice, but I pretend I don't.

12:52 And I completely stay normal. I talk normally. I'm very comfortable. And another thing, when a woman is taken unaware by your approach, this happens a lot in day game, right? And day game is basically approaching women wherever you happen to be at the mall, at the supermarket, the gas station in an open area, wherever it happens to be. She's just doing her thing. And she's thinking about something completely differently than talking to you. So you come up and you say, Hey, excuse me real quick. Just had to tell you da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

13:28 She's totally taken off guard, isn't she? So you have to empathize and put yourself in her shoes. She's going to be looking at me sideways. What's this guy trying to sell me? What does he want? Why is this person approaching me? And like in today's age where there's like mass shootings and people get mugged and robberies and shit, you can only understand that she gets put off by that initial approach. Now a quick side note to this. This is the main reason a lot of you guys, and I know you listening right now, bro.

13:55 I know this is probably you make the excuse not to approach women. Exactly what I'm saying. You're like, yeah, Mark, I can put myself in her shoes. And that's exactly why I don't approach. But what I'm urging you to do is to voluntarily endure the social pressure and know that you have to do this in order to meet the high quality girl that you and I both know you want, bro. I know it. You know it. So don't try to lie to me. And the only way to get good at it is to sack the fuck up, endure the social pressure and know this is all part of the game.

14:24 It's not that big of a deal. Once you persevere past that bitch shield, which usually lasts about 10, 15, 20 seconds, sometimes in extreme cases, it lasts a minute. But when she's kind of bitchy towards you, she's kind of offset, she's not really into it, looking at you with sideways glances, kind of like weird body language. She may be like, have a fearful look in her eyes. Again, you have to pretend you don't even notice it. You have to be completely calm and resist the urge to supplicate. Because oftentimes we want to say, hey, I'm not like trying to, I'm not trying to hurt you.

15:02 I'm not going to mug you or you know, you're beautiful. I just had to let you. And then you turn into like this nerd supplication mode. Like, please don't be uncomfortable. But see, you don't want to ask her to not be uncomfortable. You want to show her that you're comfortable and let her get comfortable at her own time. Okay. So you're respecting the fact that she's uncomfortable. You're letting her get comfortable on her own schedule. And then when she is, boom, everything's just fine. No big deal.

15:26 But the way you do that is you ignore the bitch shield. You don't get affected by it. You don't try to explain it away. You don't rush your opening lines. In fact, you want to be comfortable. You want to speak slowly. You want to be chill, maybe leaning against the machine at the gym, leaning against the bar at the nightclub, even sitting down, all often open girls. And if they're weird towards me in the beginning, again, I act like nothing is happening. I act like she's totally into the conversation.

15:55 That's really the secret. So to persevere past the bitch shield, first of all, we empathize why it's there. And what we do to get past it is we show her through demonstration that we are more comfortable than she is. Now this goes into frame control, doesn't it? For you guys who have been following my content for a long time, or even better, those who are my students, you guys know all about this frame control, which means when you're calmer than she is, you're controlling the frame.

16:23 And here it is. The only way a woman is going to become attracted to you is if you're controlling the frame. Now let's get even deeper into this. Why is it that you being calmer than her means that you're controlling the frame? The reason is, is because the person who's reacting more than the other person is the one who is not controlling the frame. So she's reacting more, isn't she? She's kind of off-put, giving you the bitch shield, confused as to what's going on. You're totally chill.

16:52 You're just kind of chatting. You're talking about whatever it is. And then as she sees that, that's attractive. She sees your body language is open, relaxed. Your tonality is good. You're speaking slowly. You're very chill. She chills out. Then that moment where she gets chilled out, you just went up, you know, a hundred points in her book. Because a lot of guys, as I said, they're very spazzy, trying to explain themselves, trying to rush their opening lines. But you want to be chill with the fact that she's not chill.

17:20 See how that works? Chill with her not being chill. Chill with her being a bitch. Now, here we get into the most advanced way to do this. I do not expect any of you guys to do this. In fact, this looks so unbelievably socially unintelligent. I understand if you never want to do it for as long as you live. But I was taught this about, I don't know, eight years ago. Someone told me about this and I was like, what? That really works with the bitch shield?

17:47 They said, yes, dude, try it. So I just tried it and it fucking worked. So here it is. If she's ignoring you, if she's super bitchy towards you, if she's like really turning away from you and totally blowing you off, this is weird, but this is what you do. You talk to her as if nothing is happening. You keep talking, you keep talking, you keep talking, you go on and on and on like Mark's saying on his podcast. You just go on and on, keep talking.

18:14 Yeah, the other day. So my friend was here, right? And he goes over to the room and this girl comes out and she's literally got her top off and he's like, what the fuck? And she's like this. And I tell a story to this girl who's not even facing me. She's turned around. She's like, get out of here. I don't want to talk to you. I'm just talking to her as if her and I are having a conversation. Then what happens after like a minute, she starts laughing.

18:39 She's like, I cannot believe you just did that. And be like, well, I knew eventually you'd warm up. I knew eventually you'd warm up. What's up? What's your name? That has worked so many times for me. Now it takes balls of steel, bro. I'm talking like clanging cojones, those kinds of cojones that are behind a fucking bull when he's running down the Serengeti. That's what it takes. And I don't expect you guys to do it, but for those really hot girls who are going to totally turn away from you and ignore you, that shit works.

19:04 Cause why? Let's get back to frame control. You were unaffected. You don't care that she's ignoring you. You're totally confident that like you're just totally in your own skin. You're fine with it. You're telling a story. And then she's going to be like, I cannot even believe how confident this dude is. But for you beginner guys, here's the message I want to give you. Inevitably the first few seconds, she's going to be uncomfortable. Just expect it. Just know it. Don't let that prevent you. Don't like a lot of you guys like to do, make that into an excuse not to approach her.

19:34 Do it anyway. And here's another thing. What you say in the beginning, she'll hardly even remember half the time. Reason being what happens to you when you're taken off guard, you're immediately thrown into adrenaline, aren't you? And you're like, well, what's going on? What was this guy want from me? Like the other day I was working on the gym, totally in my own element. And this guy taps on my shoulder and he's like this big dude. And I turn, I'm like the fuck? Like what does this guy want?

20:00 He's like, Hey, can you spot me? And I was like, Oh yeah, sure, bro. But like the way he did it took me off guard. So I did what could be considered a bit shield is I was like, yeah, what's going on? And he was cool. He's like, Hey brother, can you spot me? And then once I realized, okay, he's chill, he's not being a spaz. So I'm not going to be a spaz. Y'all go spot you. And then I made a friend that day. So that's the lesson boys is you got to be unaffected.

20:21 You have to assume that she's going to be put off, but you do it anyway. You do it anyway. And I'll tell you a lot of you guys, I'd say probably 90% of you have that belief. Don't disturb people. Don't inconvenience them. You don't want to be made a fool of what if other people see me get rejected. You shouldn't approach strangers, right? I mean, dude, when we're kids, we're taught don't talk to strangers. That's literally taught in schools. So of course you're going to have programming that's preventing you from doing it.

20:50 So tomorrow, dude, or even today, when you're walking down the street or you're in the supermarket or wherever you happen to be, and you see that hot girl and you don't approach her. I want you to think back to me, uncle Mark Singh, kind of shaking my head at you, man, being like, hey, brother, you know what? I'm disappointed in you. But at the same time, I understand why you didn't do it. But you have to realize the reason you didn't do it is because you have other people's bullshit programming in your brain.

21:13 How can we remove the programming? NLP removes it like a splinter from your brain. We replace it with better programming. Women love to be approached. When you give women good energy, they feel better from having met you. You are a champion who she would love to be with. Women wake up every morning just dreaming of being with a champion like you. These are the new thoughts that you have so that when you see a girl, like, I feel like I'm depriving her of something unless I go talk to her.

21:41 And yeah, if she has the bitch shield for the first five seconds, 30 seconds, minute, whatever, I always think to myself, like, she doesn't understand yet the champion that she beholds in front of her. Once she gets it, which she will, I'm going to give her time, I'm patient. I understand. She's put off because most jackasses do this incorrectly. It's their track record that's messing it up for me right now. So what I'm going to do is be totally calm, be completely confident, speak to her like an old friend, speak to her like I've had sex with her a hundred times already.

22:13 It's no big deal. Just like you talk to a girl who's possibly your girlfriend or a girl who's in love with you, whatever. Then she's going to relax. And then she's going to be able to see what a champion I am because I have persevered past her quote unquote bitch shield. That's the way it works, boys. So don't be insecure. Don't feel bad about approaching women. This is your job as a man. Masculine energy approaches. Female energy is approached. That's the way these energies work. If you want a girl that's up to your standards, you got to do this, man.

22:41 You got to do it. Now in my program, I teach you how to ease into it systematically like an old man into a warm bath. I'm not going to throw you out there to get rejected. I'm going to make sure that you get a positive energy matrix going while we reprogram your brain, have you approaching girls in a totally safe way that doesn't get you rejected because you're not really putting your intentions out there yet. You're just practicing opening, ejecting, opening, ejecting. Then as you go throughout the program, right around week six or seven, you're starting to get girls like asking you for their number.

23:15 You're starting to get girls numbers pretty easily. And really my guys don't experience too much rejection. They do sometimes as do I still, but man, it is significantly reduced with the very intelligent systematic way we do it. And one of the things I teach again is she's going to have a bit shield. So just overcome it by being comfortable. Once you overcome it, there's just two people talking and you can work on getting her attracted to you. Once again, guys, if you would like to get on the phone with me and discuss your specific problems with women, discuss your history and whether or not I think you can realistically get to the goals that you want to achieve with girls.

23:46 Like if you would love to get a solid 10 who's smoking hot, amazing personality, great job, great heart. She's honest. She's beautiful. She doesn't support any terrorist organizations. Her breath doesn't smell like an armpit farted. When she laughs, she doesn't sound like a canyon mule. She isn't a chronic knuckle dunker who's masturbating herself at times and locations that are both geographically unacceptable and morally despicable. If you want a girl like that and you want to know exactly what it's going to take to get her, then I'm your guy.

24:20 Let's go ahead and get on the phone together. My guys are amazed at how quickly I'm not only able to understand their problems, but also diagnose them with how long I personally think it's going to take if they go through my program to get the results that they want. And oftentimes they're pretty surprised and I do not over-promise and under-deliver. I do the opposite. I under-promise and I over-deliver. And that's why I have the testimonials that I have. Check those out at CoachMarkSingh.com. Click on coaching.

24:45 If interested, click the red button, fill in the goddamn, you'll slap in the biscuit and you and I will get on that one-on-one phone session together. All right, gentlemen, I drop podcasts on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. So make sure to stay tuned for the next one and I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you next time.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.