How to EXPERTLY GO DOWN on Women (With Hotties Monica & Seanlai)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? It's Mark Sing here, and I am here with Sean Lee and Monica from the Two Wild Orchids Podcast, the place you come for sex and fun. And today, we're going to talk about something that I know you guys want to hear and need to hear, which is how to go down on a girl correctly. What is up, Sean Lee?

0:35 What's up, Monica? Hi. Thanks for having us. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on. So you guys are experts in this. You talk about it all the time on your podcast. And when I heard about that, I was like, oh, my God, I got to get them on the UMP because a lot of guys need training in this. And it's so ridiculously important. I know from my experience, being able to do this correctly, I mean, it separates the heroes from the zero. So I'm going to let you guys kind of take it and just go with it.

1:03 And I want to know how to do it from A to Z, how to start, how to bring them to orgasm, how to be just a superhero in the bedroom. And as I always say, make her look like a screaming demon that just got hit with a tornado. So guide us through it, ladies. Go ahead. Okay. So first of all, you're 100% right. And what a great intro that was. Most men suck at it. Let's just be very clear. Right? Yeah. We talk about this a lot, actually.

1:31 I mean, I would say definitely it's a small percentage of men that really get it. But, you know, it's not, it's, it's not something that you can do, I think, without taking your time. And it's, it's a process that starts way before. Way before you ever put your head in her pussy. Yeah. Okay. Because that, because no, Monica's right. It's one of those things. If you don't start, it's like, it's like lovemaking. It's like sex. It's like anything else. If you don't start it way before she ever takes her pants off, you're never going to get there.

2:08 And I will say this, the guys who know how to do this well, you're heroes among women. Like, if you don't know that, if you can, if you, you can have a small cock, you can have short stubby fingers. But if you know how to lick her, you're a hero. I also think too, it's important for men to realize that like, you can't actually give a woman an orgasm. Like, that's not something you can gift, right? You have to set the stage and create an environment that allows a woman to relax enough to be able to let go for you.

2:42 I think that's right. So I, it was many, many years before I figured out that I liked women at all. And I, so when I first started going down on women, I was terrified because I thought, I don't like, I don't know what to do down there. I know what I like down there. And the person who taught me was, was, is a hero in this world. And he was like the number one thing. And this is where I think most men mess it up. Monica, you tell me if you agree, is they don't enjoy it.

3:05 They don't view it as this wonderful, pleasurable adventure to go on as opposed to how to get them to there so that they can get theirs. Like they're just, right. They're putting in their dues. Yeah. They're paying their, yeah. They're putting in their time so they can get what they want. Yeah. Yeah. So number one rule is enjoy it. And if you don't enjoy it, don't do it. Yeah. I would agree with that. I mean, yeah. Cause like porn teaches you, the guys do that little licky thing with their tongue and that sucks.

3:33 Well, we talk about this too, you know, where, you know, every woman's different. We all have different things. Some like it hard. Some, I like it really, really soft. I like it really, really hard. We're always on opposite ends of the spectrum, but I, yeah, I like it really, really soft. And you actually had a quote the other day. What was it, Sean Lee, where you said, um, when a man goes down. Oh my God, this is the best. It should start with a, like a kitten.

3:57 Okay. When a, when a guy goes down on a woman, it should start like a kitten licking, kissing a daisy and, and like a bulldog licking mayonnaise. Right. And I would say that's pretty accurate, but every woman's different. And, you know, somebody else that we had on the show recently, um, that, that does yoni massage, you know, she had mentioned like treat a woman's vulva and her vagina, like an, a musical instrument. Yes. An instrument you've never played that you've never played before. Right. And you would just, you wouldn't go down there and just start banging on it.

4:29 Right. You would, you know, maybe touch this and softly touch that and see what you're getting. You know, you have to be able to read a woman's body and her reactions to you, you know, but going back to what we were saying before about starting off. I mean, I think there's a mental headspace that needs to happen. And there's a really important thing that, that women, for us to be able to let go, we need to feel safe. We need to feel 100%. Yeah. And a lot of men miss that whole thing about the feeling of safety.

4:58 And I don't mean safety. Like, I don't need you to be an egotistical prick. I don't need you to go and beat up like the next guy sitting on the barstool. I need you to create an environment for me that makes me feel like the only woman in the room. Yes. You know, and that you are 100% into me and, you know, just, just. And I'm the most beautiful woman you've ever laid eyes on. Yeah. I don't want to hear about your exes. So. Right. I don't want to hear how great she was.

5:23 I just, I just want to pause in that because there's some really cool stuff that Monica just brought out that when we're talking about safety with men, you have to understand. And we know our vaginas really well, right? And we know we grew up with them. We know what they can do. We know what they don't do. We know that sometimes they smell great and sometimes they don't smell great. We know all this. So we're already insecure before you head down there. No matter how comfortable you are with your body, we're not quite sure what's going on down there today.

5:53 So knowing that in advance, the more things that he can do to make him, to make her comfortable, to make her, to make it really all about her, you're going to find that she shows up in this really energetic space with him. That it's like, okay, great. I'm going to get there. So what are some of those things, right? Like, you know, I would say that telling a woman that she's beautiful, you know, I recently had a guy go down to me and ask me if I felt safe.

6:23 Oh, which was such a fucking turn on. It was such a huge thing. Remember that? Yes, I remember that. It was like a huge, huge turn on for me. I was like, oh my God, I've never had, I mean, I don't even know. Did he say, I don't remember. I don't know if he had to check in with you. Are you okay? He like checked in with me and I was like, oh my God, it's so hot. Right. He was genuinely concerned, like how, you know, how I, my head, what my headspace was doing.

6:43 I had an amazing orgasm with that guy. And wasn't it the first time you were with him? It was the first time I was with him, which also guys, by the way, that's not the easiest thing for us to do as women. Like the first time around, right, it can, like, don't expect that. And I think that's the other thing is there's this time limit that we, we both fuck ourselves, right? Like as a woman, I am already worried about the fact that I'm taking too long.

7:05 How long is your tongue getting tired? Yes. Shoulders getting tired. Right. You know, he must be getting bored with this whole thing and I'm sorry that it's taking so long. And I'm like, so in my head about it. So if you can reassure me that I'm, that I'm good and that you don't care how long it takes and you will just stay down there and it doesn't matter. Like, hey, maybe even be like, like, take the pressure of the orgasm off of the bladder. Like, just be like, hey, if this is feeling good, then let's just go with that.

7:32 Sometimes that can be, I think, a huge, huge turn on for a woman. And you're putting her in that headspace that she, you know, can now relax and not feel the pressure. And yeah. Right. No, I totally agree. I think, but I think one of the things that where I loved Monica was when, um, you were with, I can't, I can't remember which one of Monica's guys she was with. Okay. But when he went down on you and then, and you didn't get there and then he came back up and he kissed you and he touched you and he was really gentle.

8:01 Yeah. And then he went back down on you again. He went back down. And then, so it gave you permission to, to orgasm at that point because he clearly was enjoying himself. Yeah. That was, that was big. Yeah. So I think, I think that, you know, getting in that headspace of, and the other thing is celebrate every single thing her body does. If her nipples get hard. Oh my God. I love how hard your nipples get. If she's like dripping wet, this is because that's, sometimes that's a little embarrassing for us.

8:26 Like when we're flowing and we're wetting everything, make it, make that, make that good. Yeah. Give us permission to have that. Right. Oh my God. You're so wet. This is so hot that you're so wet. Yes. Whatever it is. Use your words, men. You know, we're giving them for a reason. Use them. Right. And then ask her what she likes. Does this feel good? Because women, I think it's a whole lot. You tell me if you agree. We don't really want to say, Hey, could you move to the left a little bit?

8:55 Well, you know, I struggle with this because I have a hard time vocalizing. I mean, I've gotten better, but it's awkward for me. So, you know, sometimes if a man asks me, I'm not going to lie. I will just be like, yep, it feels great. I'm not really honest. That sucks. That's not fair. I know. I know. I get it. But, you know, that's, that is tough. That's a tough one for me. And a lot of women that I know have a hard time kind of speaking up.

9:21 So I know there are ways to combat that, right? Right. So I was going to tell Mark that his audience at this point, grab a pen and paper. I'm not even kidding you. And write this down. Take direction. Well, because it's a true story. I was once having sex with three people, two people. So it was me, my girlfriend and my partner. And my girlfriend says to him, keep going exactly where you are. Oh my God. Don't change your rhythm. Don't fucking move. What do you think he did?

9:51 He moved. Of course he did. This happens to me all the time. Yeah. If we say stay right fucking there, stay right there. Please, for the love of God. Don't move it in. Don't change your rhythm. Don't change anything. Don't change anything. I mean, literally, the second she said stay right there, he changed his rhythm. I was like, what just happened? And that can really blow it. Yeah. And then your organization. We're so, we're so. We're just, it's such a little fraction of a pinpoint that you can move and mess up everything.

10:19 It's not an easy thing. You know, I feel bad kind of sometimes for guys because men are so easy. I feel like y'all are really easy. Yeah. Stick it in your mouth. Done. Well, I mean, I wouldn't say that. I'm like, you know, I know that we did a show on blowjobs. But I mean, you guys are, yeah, go ahead. If I may interject briefly, briefly. The reason I think he probably changed is because when she said, keep doing exactly what you're doing, he probably felt like he had to come.

10:46 It really turned him on a lot. And then he changed it to try to slow it down. Oh, that is an interesting perspective. Yeah. So he's like, oh shit, because it turned him on so much. Like, she's like, keep doing that. Keep doing that. He's like, oh God. And he had to like pace it down and change it a little bit. And that's oftentimes why guys will do that. But I wanted to circle back and talk about how when you make it like you absolutely love going down on a girl and that's been my experience, right?

11:11 Is like, I've always liked it. I've always enjoyed it. To me, it's like kissing her essence or like being down in her nucleus or something like that. Like the flower of the woman, the most beautiful part of her. And I've always thoroughly enjoyed it. And that was always very communicated, right? In my actions. And I do that too. Like go down, come back up and then go down again. And I totally understand that when you feel like, oh God, I got to come because he's been down there for so long.

11:39 Well, the way you make her feel comfortable is I actually sometimes tell him not to come. Like, don't, don't come. I want you to just enjoy this. And I want to just, just lick you down here for a while and just take my time. And then I love that. Okay, good. I was going to say, I'm kind of getting turned on. I'm getting a little tingly down there. Okay. Yeah. But making it, making it like you absolutely love it. And for some guys, yeah, they have to pretend.

12:06 But I think once you've done it enough, and especially if you're with a woman you truly care about and you love her so much, it's like one of the most beautiful things you can do with a woman that brings them to orgasm so much faster than just making it like a job you got to go do and get it over with. And it's the same with girls. Like when a girl goes down on a guy and it seems like she hates it, it's hell. Like here, just come back up.

12:28 Fuck this. This is because she's like, like she's like grimacing through it. We don't want to experience that. And neither do women. So that's absolutely the first thing is that a of all take your time, build up to it. And then B of all make it like it's the best thing ever and make her feel beautiful. And I have a question for you regarding the smell stuff. Would it be good to comment, like be like, oh my God, there's no smell or, oh my God, it's so beautiful.

12:57 I can't believe how clean it is. Like, how do you say that to her without making it weird? So my current partner, when he goes down on me, I would like 99.9% of the time, he'll be like, he'll, he'll like growl into my pussy and be like, oh my God, your fucking pussy tastes so good right now. Oh, there it is. Yeah. It tastes good. It's so good. And he's into it. Like, and I'm just like, oh, right. Right. And I think this, but I think the smell is, so to, to be clear on a couple of things, like I learned, I learned this by learning how to go down on women personally.

13:29 And that is if our diets are really clean, we have no smell and no taste. If our diets, if we're eating processed foods, that's when you get a little of that funky stuff. In which case, guys, that by the way, the same thing is true of you. The cleaner your diet, the better you taste. Spirulina. Right. Spirulina is your internal deodorant. Take it. Yeah. I take a tablespoon. Is it a tablespoon or a teaspoon? I take a teaspoon. Oh yeah. What is it? Spirulina? Spirulina. It's an algae.

13:57 It is. Oh yeah. That's right. Yeah. It's an internal, what it also works on is like body odor. So if men are struggling with some, you know, just cause they sweat more. Yeah. Fuck that pineapple bullshit. I still like the pineapple. I've never, I, whatever. One time I ate so much of it, when my guy went down on me, he's like, you smell like pineapples down here. And I was like, you know, but the other thing I wanted to say is, and this is, Monica, back me up.

14:23 Porn has fucked you guys for oral sex. Porn has fucked you guys. Seriously. Stop watching it. Stop it. Because the way that you lick a girl's pussy is not what you see in porn. Don't stick your tongue out and flick it on my clit. I promise you I'm going to smack you in the head. Like you're licking an ice cream cone. Yeah. But with little bitty licks. Don't fucking get off my pussy. That's how I feel about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So that being said, I would love to get some like tactics, some, some skills.

14:54 How do you lick it? What part of your tongue do you use? How should you first lick it the first time? And, and then like build up, like, I want to get all into that. And some guys don't even know where the clit is and all that stuff. So let's get real tactical with this. Okay. Okay. So I'll go first. Yeah. Because now I prefer to, to be clear, I prefer a little bit of a rougher play, but that doesn't mean that when you first stick your head down there, you go rough.

15:21 Everything in the beginning should be really soft. Right. And for me, and I think for most women, if you go straight for her clit, you're guaranteed to get her to push her head away. Yeah. So you want to go on the side. You want to go gentle. Lick her lips, kiss her, kiss her pussy. Like you would her mouth. Right. Start really gentle. And then her clit will, if it's not already, will start to swell. And if you don't know where it is, this is a great time to get an anatomy book because you should know where it is.

15:48 Okay. And the part that's exposed to you, because the clit is this huge organ, but the part that's exposed to you is the head and it's got a hood. Unless she asks you, don't pull that hood back. Right. And then you suck gently on it. For me, it's like, just, just like gently sucking, like the suck, like a suckling motion and using your tongue and using your lips and using your whole tongue. Don't poke at me with the tip of your tongue. You can hit my head.

16:16 Okay. I'm right. Am I wrong? I mean, I like the, I like, I mean, you and I are like an ice cream. Yeah. Well, an ice cream that you like. Like a soft serve ice cream. Like, uh, I mean, for me, I guess I like, uh, I, I'm, you and I are so different. I like it really, really soft and sensual. So take your time when you're going down, which has happened. Sorry. My phone is ringing. Um, so yeah. So take your time when you're going down, um, make that journey.

16:47 I would say, make me anticipate that journey. Right. Because I think sometimes men will be kissing you and then they just immediately zip line it down, you know, and, and I, I love, my nipples are really sensitive. So I really, really like nipple play. Um, you know, and again, my body, as I react, pay attention. And then by the time you get down there, I really like it when a man kisses the inside of my thighs. I'm also a big fan of a beard for your bearded.

17:17 I'm a big fan of no beard. Um, use your beard, you know, you use that, uh, you know, if you're brushing that in between my legs, Oh my God. I mean, and here I am waiting for you to, you know, put your mouth on my clit, but there's all this anticipation and I could add to that. Yeah. Blow on me. I was just going to say like a little bit of hot breath beforehand, like really exhale onto, Oh my God. I mean, I will, I'm just literally by the time you start eating my pussy, I'm already like, I'm just, I'm just so ready.

17:52 But, and then I would say, go, you know, I tell men all the time, go softly. And I think take whatever your idea of soft is and, and like cut it in half again. And, and, you know, because I think men really, you know, their idea of soft and my idea of soft are just really, really different things. And then I really like a finger inside me, you know? And I think sometimes guys go down there and they just want to, you know, be on my clit and, and that can be overstimulating.

18:21 So use your tongue. I like, I don't, I like swirls actually, like, but you'll, you can tell, you'll figure it out. I will let you know if I really like something, I'm going to be vocal about it. And then when I don't like it, I kind of just get really quiet. You know, I guess we don't want to tell you. I'm trying to be polite. Yeah. Like I won't be like, I mean, unless it hurts and then I'll be like, Hey, you know, softer or lighter, you know, whatever, but I don't, yeah, I don't want to ruin the moment.

18:48 So I will just kind of, my body just kind of goes quiet in the limp, but, but I, and then I'm really like a finger inside me. I mean, and I think sometimes I have to say it, you know, I will say it, which, which if you're not sure if she has to ask, one of the things that you were talking about that I wanted to kind of address is when you, when she said to you about going half as soft as you think. So think for a minute, the first time a woman grabbed her cock, chances are she didn't grab it strong enough.

19:15 Right. Cause I've noticed with men, the way you guys grab yourselves is a really firm grip. And for us, we wouldn't dream of initially grabbing it like that. So the same thing, the reverse is true as, as, as, as hard as you would normally grab yourself is as gentle as we need you to be with us because we are naturally gentler creatures. We have so many more nerve endings down there. Yeah. We've got twice as many as you do. Yeah. 8,000 nerve endings in our clit. Yeah.

19:41 Think about that. You guys have 4,000. Yeah. And your whole, like the whole thing. Right. We got this, we can have that many nerve endings just in our clit, you know, like it's intense. And, and I'm, I'm, yeah, I don't have any affiliate links or anything to this, but I think it's really powerful. Ian Kerning wrote the book. She Comes First, which is a brilliant book by a man who, who talked about the 18 pleasure sensations of your clitoris. I think everyone should read it. I learned more about my vagina in the first two chapters.

20:12 You know, you can, I was going to say when, when you said, don't, you know, if you like take an anatomy class, I was going to say, why don't you have your, if you have a girlfriend or you could ask her to actually show you, which can also be really hot. Like, yeah, she's willing. And yeah, but, but what about when they're just now, like, like this is the first time? Oh, well, I mean, if it's a, like a one night stand, odds are not, odds are she's probably not going to come.

20:36 Yeah. I would say probably don't expect that. Probably not going to come unless you're Monica, which you did on the one night stand that one time. It was the same guy. It's the same guy we've been talking about. Oh, that's right. That's right. That's the same guy. So anyway, that, that would be my advice. But I mean, I don't think there's any, I mean, so do we need to talk about Lady Margaret? I think that we should talk about Lady Margaret. Wait, Mark, are you familiar with Lady Margaret?

21:01 No, I'm not. She's a cult icon in our podcast. So I dated someone who was very primal and, um, he. Monica has Bush. Like, can we just put it on there? I do. Uh, and so anyway, um, I ended up, he would groom me because sometimes I kind of get out of control. And so he would have to groom me. And, and Sean Lee and I had talked on several occasions about how, as a woman, having a man between my legs in a non-sexual way was very, um, it was actually, and it was a very bonding experience, you know?

21:41 Um, but there were times I think when he would be doing that where he would, like, he would really be inspecting me in a way and he'd be like, Oh, you know, like, I mean, he was really curious. I think about, and the more that you know about what a woman has going on down there, the more you're going to understand what she likes and what she doesn't like and how the body works. And, you know, right. I agree. Yeah. Let's see. I don't have a lady Margaret.

22:07 That's what we've named her by the way. Yeah, she hasn't. I, I, I, I don't. And for me, I think that that makes a difference in, in the way, maybe it makes a huge difference in the way I like to be touched because I don't have that covering. Um, I always feel like I need to say like, this is not some crazy. Like, you know, cavewoman situation. That's what she says. But so, because then maybe, so this is something to think about men. If you're with a woman who does have a lady Margaret or with a woman who doesn't like, I don't.

22:41 So maybe that's why I like things a little more rough, rough as long as a little firmer because I don't have that barrier to that a little bit more desensitized. Right. So something to think about, but, but ultimately I think at the end of the day, if you pay attention to her, is she getting wet? How wet is she getting? If you, if, and Monica, you made a really strong point that, and I'm the same, actually, if I like what you're doing, you're going to know it.

23:07 Right. If I don't like, I'm going to be squirming. I'm going to be rolling around on the bed. I'll like give you the tap. Like, ah, it's good. Right. You know, the other thing I think is really sexy. And this very few men do this. If they have big hands and they grab ahold of my hip bones and dig their fingers in. Oh yeah. I like that. Or if they put their hands underneath your butt and raise you up. Up a little bit. Yeah. If they dig their fingers right at those hip bones, your ovaries are right there.

23:32 Oh. And that's why it feels so good because your ovaries are right there. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Grab ahold of my hips when you've got your hips. I do like to have my hips grabbed. I like to feel little. I like to feel feminine. I like my guy to be the man. I like him to, like, I like to submit to him, you know? And I think like 87% of women fall into like that submissive kind of category. That's a really strong point because the other part of that is, guys, part of it is it's this delicate balance.

24:03 We want you to understand and ask us what we like, but if everything is a question, is this okay? Is this okay? Yes. Is this okay? That's such a turn off. That's a lady boner killer. Totally. That's what I call it. Right? It is. Oh, ask me once, harder, softer, and then say something like, tell me if I'm doing, tell me, tell me what you like. Tell me if I'm doing this right. Tell me if you want something different and just check in, but if you do it on everything, just get off of me.

24:30 Yeah. I don't want to be the guy in the relationship. Right. So from, from back to a, like a tactical standpoint. Okay. So you first, you first go down, look around the lips, get her, get her nice and warmed up. And then when you first lick it, you don't want to lift the clitoral hood. You want to, you want to lick it with the hood already over, because as we talked about, there's more nerve endings in that little tiny clitoris than there is in the entire penis.

24:54 And you guys listening know how sensitive your penis is. Just imagine how sensitive that clit is. And it has a piece of skin over it called the hood. You want to lick that first. Is there a time? And I also want to ask about penetrating with your finger, which I believe you do after a few minutes that she's been warmed up with the licking, right? Okay. Want to make sure that, you know, I'm doing everything correctly too. That's part of the selfish reason. Let me check my work here.

25:20 Right, right, right, right. So, but there is a point where you do lift up the hood, right? And, and I was thinking you have your, your typically like your arm under her leg, then it swings around over to her monus pubis, which is just above the vagina. And then with your thumb, you can lift up the clitoral hood and you can go right on it. But that happens once she's really good and warmed up. I was going to say, I would have to be really, really aroused for that to happen.

25:46 I'd have to be at a 10 plus that I like my hood lifted. Yeah, I, I like it when a man will like maybe spread me open a little bit and that can really enhance, you know, like, and I'm talking midway, like don't start out like this, but you know, you're saying on either side of your lip. Yeah, like exactly. Like spread my labia open. And then I think that the clit almost kind of naturally exposes itself, but just to kind of really like, yeah, I don't know if I could, I mean, that would be really, really intense for me, but I'm also very sensitive.

26:15 The very first time someone did that to me, I was like, whoa, get out and stop because it was, it was, it is a lot. It is a lot. Now, if you're, if you're, if you're with someone who like me, likes things a little bit, you know, firmer, there's a lot you can do with your teeth gently. Oh God. You said teeth. I don't know. Gently. I don't know. But I'm not talking biting. I'm talking scraping. It's kind of like why you like the beard, right?

26:38 Yes. It's, you know, because I'm a textural thing. It's a textural thing. And don't, once you're down in there, don't forget that we have lips. They, they still like attention. Yeah. And I think, you know, one of the things I'm discovering lately too, that I really like is I like a little stopping and starting. So I like it when you are, you know, licking my clit or, or, or, you know, rotating around it. And then if you just move away, but just for a couple of seconds, not a long time and then go back.

27:08 And that anticipation of knowing that you're going to go back there takes me to like the next level. Unless she says, don't move. Right. Unless she says, don't stop doing that. In which case, Jesus fucking Christ, don't stop doing whatever the fuck you're doing. Now, which part of the tongue to lick with? Okay. So, um, what, what I've always been told is like an inch or two back and you keep it nice and soft. You don't firm it up. You don't poke at it. Like you guys pointed out in the beginning of the episode, but also on the side of the tongue, if you, if you feel the side of your tongue, it's extra soft over there.

27:41 Yeah. Would you be able to detect the difference between the top of the tongue and the side of the tongue? God, I don't think I would. I was going to say, I think I would. Really? But maybe that's because I've, I've gone down on women. Right. So maybe that, yeah, you have a different perspective. I have a different perspective. Um, and it's been my experience that when I'm sucking and twirling my tongue from side to side, like he's talking about, the feedback I get is, is always really super positive.

28:08 I really like it too. When like, if you can imagine your tongue, the middle of your tongue and flattening it out and pressing it onto the clit and then almost not like you don't come off of it. Right. And you're rotating around, but you're just kind of like mashing, almost like mashing on my clit with your tongue. I am. You could suck while you're doing that. Home run. But yeah, I, that I found is also, you know, maybe not the entire time, but that will take me to, that'll, that'll be like at the end.

28:40 I can totally just go over the edge, you know, but I, you know, I don't ever, but every woman is so different. It's just hard to, you know. Yeah, I agree. A good, a good piece of advice regarding that is, is, um, until she gives you further feedback, until you can read her body language, when you're doing it, you should lick her the way she kisses you. So if she kisses really soft and gently, then that's probably how you want to start. If she's like, uh, Sean Lee, where she just goes for the helicopter tongue maneuver, jackhammer tongue maneuver, and just floors you to the ground, then you want to go hard on it.

29:17 So yeah, like, I think first that's a barometer and then, and then certainly you should read her. Would you, would you say that's an accurate piece of advice? No, cause I don't jackhammer. No, but no, but no, no, I think, I think that you, if you start off soft and you pay, and this is the other part of it, the more aroused she gets, the bigger her clit is going to get. Exactly. It exposes itself. It exposes itself. If you have done, like when we did the yoni massage interview, which if your audience isn't familiar with it, yoni is the Sanskrit word for vagina.

29:50 Monica was brave enough to have a yoni massage. Basically, I let another woman, yeah, she let me off, right. But one of the, but one of the things that came out of that was, which I was doing was that she had prepared you so well that it was, what she said was, is that it just kind of opened like a flower. Yes. And that, that's, that's, so when we say pay attention, not just to our moans and our breath sounds, what is our body doing? Cause our body is not going to betray us.

30:15 You can't force open the petals of a flower. No. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Three amigos. No, that's from the movie Three Amigos. I know. Oh, I didn't know that. I was like, what are you talking about? And you said it on one of your shows. Oh, I did? Okay. I was like, damn, I actually know a quote. Let me, let me, like, pull it out. You're such a dork. I was like, I didn't know what you were. I was like, he's like, Three Amigos. I thought, oh, would you be friends to my ass?

30:40 I was like, I don't know what he's talking about. No, I did that just for you. I appreciate that. He's like, El Jefe, you cannot force open the petals of a flower. It must open naturally. Oh, my God. I like the accent. That was just for you. Pretty good, right? So, okay. So, you cannot force open the petals of a flower. That's today's number one piece of your life. So, pay attention to her body. Pay attention to her body. Let it open naturally. I would also, oh, go ahead.

31:08 Sorry. Well, first finish your, sorry about that. You can first finish your point. But what I was going to ask, and you can go straight into this, is when to insert the finger and how, and then some finger technique. So, go. Okay. So, that's the perfect transition. Because what I was going to say is, also, do not underestimate the power of lube. Right. God, I mean, a spit's good, but it's not that good. I mean, I need, like, if you are going, I mean, obviously, if you're giving me head, then we have enough fluids happening.

31:44 But if you are rubbing my clit with your fingers, and there's not enough lube. It doesn't feel good. The friction hurts. And it's, oh, it's such a boner killer for me. I just, I can't. And you, especially if it's somebody new, you don't want to, like, you know, it just gets awkward to be like, I don't know. I just give up. I'm just like, oh, fuck it. But I'm just, you know. Get your finger on it. Yeah. But I love coconut oil. I don't know if you have talked about that on your show at all, but I am a huge, huge fan of coconut oil.

32:14 And you cannot have too much. And when I had my yoni massage, I mean, I was drenched in oil. I mean, she kept, it was just, there was, like, everything just flowed very, very smoothly. And that was really, really, I mean, I felt so, so good on my clit. And then, of course, as I got more and more aroused, you know, and that was one of the things that she was saying is that, you know, as a woman becomes more aroused, her vulva will basically, like, ask you for, you know, right?

32:44 Like, that's what she was saying is that it blooms, you know, and, and it's much harder to put a finger, insert a finger inside of a woman if she's not ready. And you might just try with a little bit of lube kind of playing with the entrance a little bit, you know, don't super sensitive there. Yes. Oh, my God. And that's a huge erogenous zone. But please, please, please do not just jam your fucking fingers in there and then start pounding away like that, like the whole G spot thing.

33:11 I know you guys like want to make a squirt. And I know that you have to do that, like, you know, come hither, like in and out super fast. Like, can you all save that for just, just save that for another time? Okay. I want to add to that. Okay. So first of all, because I know you love coconut oil, I'm allergic to anything other than, okay? So, so for me, the lube and just as a recommendation is Wicked, the company Wicked makes a sensitive water-based lube, which is the only thing that doesn't make me uncomfortable.

33:39 So guys, be aware of that when you're using lube. Don't buy cheap-ass lube, okay? But when we're talking about finger position, so Monica's right, okay, our G spots are really sensitive. When you first put your finger in us, no matter how aroused we are, our G spots are sensitive. And if you don't know where it is, when you put your finger in her, it's going to feel different. Like when you just put your finger in and you move your finger around, like let's say you were going to do like a 360, if you will, just, just for description purposes, not an actual practice.

34:10 When you put your finger in us, you'll like, she went, she's on her back. She's on her back. And it's the upper wall. Right. But yeah, but like for a lot of them, but like for mine, mine is upper and to the right. Right. It'll feel different. The tissue will feel spongy and different. Right. And if you are gentle, gentle, gentle, gentle, gentle, and you gently massage that like circular, just with your finger, really gentle. You'll start to feel that, it'll fill, it'll fill with fluid and you'll actually start to feel that, the change of that tissue.

34:39 And that's how, you know, she's getting super aroused. But when you're doing it, just jamming your finger in and out, you're just going to piss us off. Really? It just, it has to be soft. It has to be smooth. It has to be gentle. Some people like come hither. I don't. I do. Oh my God. I love it. I don't like come hither. I like a circle swirl because to me that, that, that, that filled my, that, that's when I can squirt. If you get me there, then that's when I can squirt.

35:04 Yeah. And you have to be really aroused. Like I think a lot of, I mean, for, in order for that skein's gland to, to fill with fluid, like you have to be really, really aroused. And really gentle with it. Yeah. Because it does not feel good in the beginning. If she says it's uncomfortable, move. I'm just saying, right? Yeah. No, I agree. Just move your finger up a little bit. She'll be fine. Yeah. Now penetrating the finger while licking, would you ladies suggest a rhythm between the two?

35:33 Right. So it's like, as your tongue goes up, your finger goes in, as your tongue goes down, your finger, your finger comes out. Or do you just go free for all? I don't care about rhythm. I'm thinking about when I've done it. I think it's, it's just a very natural, like I just keep moving and doing, like, I don't know that there's, I don't think about the rhythm of like, like, you know, pat your head and touch your belly. I don't, I don't. I don't, I think what you're saying is like, while you're like, you want your tongue and your finger to kind of be talking to each other a little bit while you're, is that what you're saying?

36:05 Yeah. Yeah. Like a rhythm between them as you're building her up. So now, now we've, we're, we're building her up towards climax and you suggest right between the two. I mean, I personally like a rhythm and, and if I'm now, if I, if I, if an orgasm is a 10 and now I'm at an eight, then I would say I do like a little more rhythm. And now we're ramping things up a little bit. I want your fingers maybe to be a little bit deeper inside me.

36:33 Cause that like, I, I really get off from my cervix being banged up against a little bit, not hard, but like, definitely. I like contact. I like a little contact with my cervix. So you're going to have to get in there a little bit deeper. Um, I don't care if the rhythm of your tongue matches the rhythm of the in and the out, but I do like a rhythm of the in and the out with your fingers. Right. I was going to say, I like the, whatever the rhythm is, right.

37:00 Whether I like the consistency, the consistency, don't be jacking that up. Don't, if you're going to do in and out with your tongue, stay in that space. If you see that, don't all of a sudden decide to swirl your fingers from the in and out you were doing just whatever it is, stay. That's the most important thing I think that men, you know, because one of the things that came out of that, that book, I was reading it was, it takes us on average, what is the 30 minutes, 30 minutes, 30 minutes, 20, 20 to 30 minutes from start to finish to get us to orgasms.

37:26 Yeah. So if you need to do some shoulder exercises, so your shoulders don't get tired, get busy. Okay. Or, or start with something else. You don't have to go down on a woman for 30 whole minutes. You can also play with her clit with your fingers and you know, you can get her aroused in other ways and then go down. Right. But what I was saying was, is that when you get her to that eight to 10 point, if you change anything, she goes back to a one.

37:52 It's so true. Well, I don't know about a one. Okay. So for me it is right. It's like, if you, it's like, it's like I was telling you about the couple of, when I was with my girlfriend. Anyway, like it goes from, from where we were right there to now we're not anywhere near there. Yeah. You definitely lose ground. Yeah. Yeah. But wouldn't, wouldn't it be good to have her get to a nine and then stop and bring her back to a two and then bring her back to up to a nine and then stop and bring her back to a three.

38:16 And then when she finally does have that orgasm, it's like an explosion, right? Because you've, you've teased up to it several different times. Is that effective or no? Okay. So what you're describing is edging, but not that way. It's one thing to get her to a, to a nine and back her off. In other words, let's play this out. So you're going down on me. I'm having a great time. I'm in a nine. Now, if you back off of me and you're breathing on me, it's totally essential and it's in that same rhythm.

38:43 Yeah. You're backing me down to a seven. But if, but if you're going down on me and I'm enjoying it and now all of a sudden you're jamming a finger in me, I've gone to a two and I'm nowhere near that same. Level of arousal to get to the nine. Yeah. I would. What do you think? I would agree with that on one side, but I also think it depends on how well, you know, your partner, because I think if, if you were my partner and I had been with you for a really long time and I knew that we had time and I was comfortable and I wouldn't care so much that we went back to a two, then it's really hot, you know, because then I know you're going to bring me back up.

39:16 And yes, you're absolutely right. By the time I have an orgasm, I'm going to fricking explode everywhere. You know, I mean, that's really, really hot. But I would say if it's someone that I'm kind of getting to know once, if I dropped down to a two, then, then my brain just goes into freaking overdrive. And I'm like, ah, shit. Now I'm at a two and now it's going to take another 20 minutes. And I just start driving myself crazy. And then this stupid song comes on that I hate.

39:39 And then it's all over. Alexa. I mean, I know that's horrible, but it's true. And that's like most of my, I would say like most of the women in my life anyway, I think we all are very similar. We kind of get in our heads a little bit. So once I'm at a nine, fucking take me there. Take me all the way. Just take me all the way. If you're not sure, just go for it. Yeah. But you know, like in the, what Eva had said to us that one of the things about women or female orgasm is if the temperature is not right, if the rhythm is not right, if the music is not right.

40:11 I mean, so as frustrating as I imagine it is for men to get us here, try living in our bodies sometimes. Yeah. You know, it's funny. I asked my partner recently because he had this crazy, like amazing orgasm. And I said to him, I said, what are you, what are you thinking about when you have an orgasm? Like, what are you thinking about? And he said to me, what do you mean? Nothing. And I said, no, nothing at all. Nothing. Like there's nothing in your brain.

40:39 And he was like, nothing at all. Like he's just, I'm like, but are you thinking about the sensation and like how good it feels? Like, are you, are you just focused on the feeling of how awesome your body's feeling? He's like, no, I was so baffled by this. I was like, what do you mean that you're not thinking about anything? I was like, oh, I'm so jealous. You know, I wish I could do that. We're not that way. Let's just say that. What do you guys think about what you're really thinking about something?

41:04 Yes. Uh, I mean, once I'm starting to get to an orgasm, I think I'm starting to think about, oh my God, I'm going to have a great orgasm. I'm with her. And then once the pulsations start, I'm like, oh my God. It's happening. There's a cognitive thought that comes through your head that says, oh my God, this feels so good. It feels so good. And then, and then sometimes I'll start to lose ground and if that happens, then it goes one of two ways. Either one, I continue to lose ground because I keep on thinking about the ground that I'm losing or I know, don't even, or I, now what I've been doing is kind of retraining my brain to, I just focus on the pleasure.

41:41 Like, okay. The contractions. And I, right. Like I'm just going to focus on the sensation. Like when I start losing ground, I start thinking, okay, let's just go back to like, how is this feeling right now? How does his tongue feel on your clit? And this is really weird, but I'll be like, guys, this is all going on in her head while you're down there. Yeah. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. But yeah. And then once I start focusing just on the sensation again, then I start gaining ground again and I can kind of hop out of that.

42:09 But yeah, sometimes I don't get there. Right. Can I, can I just add to that too? If you, if you have the ability or you're comfortable with your partner to, to have, um, like, cause I love dirty talk. So sometimes my partner will be down between my legs and he's still, you know, come up for air and dirty talk to me a little bit and go back down and dirty talk to me and go back down. And that's that. So when I start to lose ground, this is where I was going with that.

42:31 Okay. I remember the fantasy discussions we've been having and that gets me back in that bam. Yeah. Yeah. Every woman's different, you know, I think, I think for guys, I was just thinking about it. Um, when we're coming, it's all about the woman, right? Like we're focused on her cause we're very visual and it's like taking her completely or just, I don't know. It's like all about her. And when you're with a woman you love, especially it's, it's really intense. And it's just like so much love and passion and almost like consuming her in a way, like taking her fully and having her completely.

43:06 It's like that one moment where you have her 100%. And it's, it's, it's really gratifying. But I think when guys jack off, uh, probably nothing is going on in their heads. They're just like, feels good. Do it again. But what if you're not in love with someone? What if you're dating someone and you're not there yet? Then what do you, I don't find it satisfying, honestly. Like I, I, uh, you gotta have, see that to get, I mean, you can't just fall in love overnight, right? Like, I mean, I'm assuming you're seeing, you're dating someone now.

43:37 Are you married? Yeah, well, I'm not married, but I do live, live with my woman and I'm totally in love with her and we have a baby together. We have a son of the month old. Oh, okay. Yeah. And, um, with her, you know, it's totally different than from any other girl, but I would say when you're first dating a woman, it's more like sexual, like it's more just like porn, I guess, style where you're just like devouring her from like a, from a lust kind of perspective.

44:02 But when it's, when you're with somebody you really care about, it's that. And then also the emotional thing. So it's like twice, three times, a hundred times more potent than it is just the chick that you're dating or a one night stand. And, you know, we've all done one night stands and I find them totally ungratifying because it's just, I don't know. It just never did it for me. It's like smoke and mirrors. So yeah, you're just going through the motions. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't satisfying.

44:28 So, okay. Now I had a question about the come hither. So as you guys explained, the G spot is when she's on her back, it's on the top, probably an inch and a half to two inches in, although with every woman, it's different. The, the texture is a little bit different. It's kind of spongy. As you ladies said, when she's coming, is that a good time to do the come hither? And if so, do you also do that at a certain rhythm and keep the rhythm through her coming?

44:57 I would say when she's coming, you know, like Sean Lee said so many times today, like what, whatever you're doing, that's making her come, just keep doing that. And don't add anything new alter any Jesus fucking Christ. Do not add or subtract because I will punch you in the face. Like just, yeah, that takes us to a two and we're mad. Yeah. Like, and sometimes you can have, I don't know if this happened to you, but sometimes I'll be having an orgasm and a guy will do something different, like try and stick a finger in my ass or something.

45:21 And then I'm like, motherfucker. And then I'll have this weird, like mini orgasm, which is like a sneeze that you like sneeze, but you don't really get like the whole satisfaction of it. And then you just want to scream. So yeah, I would say just don't. And then he feels like a rock star. He thinks he made you come here. Really? He fucked it up. Oh my God. But, um, yeah. So I would say, but, but the answer to that is whatever you're doing that got her there, just keep doing it.

45:55 Right. If, if, if playing with her G spot got her there, for God's sakes, don't stop. I would say midway through is a good time to maybe start diddling around with the G spot. Yeah. And you'll know right away because it's uncomfortable enough for me that if you start diddling around with it, and this is something I'm exploring recently. Like I actually thought I was born without a G spot, much like my internal compass, which gets me lost all the time. But, um, I, it's very, it's uncomfortable for me at first.

46:23 Like I still haven't gotten into like really enjoying it. It took me a while. We talked about that. Yeah. And so, so I'll squirm away. Like if it, if it's a new person and I don't really like it, I'll just kind of skimmy, you know, and that goes back to paying attention to her body. If she's scooting away from you, you're not doing it right. Or, or maybe she's just not in the right mental space. And also if she's moving, like if she's moving to, so if you're, if you're licking her and she's moving her hips into you, she wants more pressure.

46:53 So she'll move to where she wants it to be typically. Typically, I would say. And here's another thing, you know, um, I like just recently, I, my partner wanted me to sit on his face, which is great. And I know it's like a huge turn on for guys and then it's kind of cool too, because he doesn't really have to, you know, he's not, I'm not worried about his fatigue as much when I'm like sitting on his face. I was saying, I don't know if you feel the same way.

47:19 It is very hard for me to have an orgasm while I am. I can't do it. Like supporting my own body weight. Like I just want to lay, I just want to be completely relaxed. And when I'm having to hold onto the bed and I got to like, yeah, I'm not like, I don't want to suffocate you. So I don't want to like put all of my weight on your face. You know what? You need to build a swing that you can, you can balance from off the ceiling.

47:41 I do. Oh, you have a swing? Of course she, of course she does. Yeah. Okay. So I'm going to have to go to your house. Okay. No, but what are the things that if you, if you lean back on their chest, like your butt is more sitting on there, if you can a little bit, it, it balances the way a little bit as opposed to, cause I did that wrong for a long time where you're kind of holding yourself up. Yes. I was able to, okay.

48:03 So I'm doing it wrong. Right. So your feet go under their shoulders and you lean back a little bit. Oh, wait, my feet go where? Like under his shoulders, if you can, or on the side of him. Okay. Okay. Yeah. And so your, your butt is like leaning more towards his chin and this way you can relax. So I'm tilted a little, my pelvis is tilted a little forward. Now does he like, yeah, you're tilted. Do we have to demonstrate this? I can, I can do it.

48:23 Okay. We do this all the time. Like, wait a minute. What? Yeah. I'll lay on the floor. I'll show you how to sit down. I like it when a guy kind of, I wish that he had kind of instructed me that cause I would have done whatever he told me to do. They don't do that. Yeah. Why don't you guys do that? Let's turn this around a little bit. Okay. Go. Cause they're not confident. They don't know, they don't know this stuff, right? They watch porn videos and really don't have much of an idea.

48:50 I have a book called guide to the female orgasm. And fortunately, thank God, everything that said in that book, you guys have reiterated here. Although I will say there are some new things that I learned, particularly about pulling back the clitoral hood. That's something interesting, but you know, they don't know what they're doing and they're afraid to make a mistake or creep her out or, you know, in today's society, especially they don't want to offend her or come off as being a pervert. So it's like, here, it comes in on my face.

49:17 Are you kidding me? That's like, most guys would think that's totally perverted. So I think they're, oh yeah. Oh yeah. They would think they were, they were being like chauvinist or perverted. I mean, I can't put words in the mouth of my listeners, but I would assume based on my clients that, you know, we want to be gentlemen and don't push her too far and stuff like that. But, you know, as time goes and you build a relationship with the woman. And hopefully a man would have the courage to ask her or even lead her to those kinds of different things.

49:48 But yeah, this is, this is a big issue for a lot of couples is they're, they're shameful about, you know, the, the sexual fantasies that they have. If a dude wants a girl to sit on his face, it's probably something he feels a little bit shameful about and would be hesitant to bring it up. But, um, you know, it's different for every guy. I love it when my partner is like the boss of me. Sure. Yeah. Right. At least don't be the boss of me anywhere else, but I really, really enjoy it.

50:18 I mean, one of the things I love about my current sexual partner is that he is like, I, I don't have to think like he will just put my body in positions and he's very, I, and I, I, it is such a huge turn on for me, you know? So I want to just interject something because, um, because one of my partners, and I think this is important for men to know. So I'm Polly and one of my partners, lesbians chase him. Okay. And, and I've talked to so many lesbians about this.

50:48 And so this is something for your listeners, men, if you are showing up to kissing her or going down on her or having sex with her with a destination in mind, um, then that is where we lose it. So like I was with the guy and all I could think was he was such a selfish lover because all he wanted to do, I mean, like, it was like, how fast can we get to orgasm? But if you show up, like you were going to, how fast can we get to his orgasm or your orgasm?

51:13 His orgasm. Okay. Right. Like he just wanted to, he was like banging me. He's like, boom. But, but if you show up to, to making love to a better, having sex with a woman in this context of, I'm going to have this wonderful gourmet meal and I'm going to savor every bite of it. And if I don't finish the meal, that's fine. If I don't get dessert, that's fine. But one of the reasons that, cause I've asked, I mean, I'm serious. When I tell you lesbians chase him, I have questions and it is because they say that he's a very, very masculine guy, but they say it's like, he's a woman trapped in a man's body.

51:43 He takes his time and he treats every section of it. Like it's pleasurable the whole way with no destination. Well, and it's interesting too. Cause when you look at statistics, you know, women, I don't have them in front of me right now. We've talked about them on the show before, but you know, women that experience orgasms with men, it's, it's a, it's, I'm going to say it's a small percentage. I want to say it's like in the, what? 50 to 60 percentile, something like that. But in lesbian relationships, it's like much, much higher.

52:13 We're talking like 80 something percent. And that is because it, every, every, every morsel is savored with no destination to have to finish the meal, to have to have dessert. Right. And that goes into that whole safety thing that, that we talk about all the time. Like it just creates this environment. Like, Hey, you're okay. If you don't have an orgasm, it's okay. And here's the other thing, guys, if you don't have an orgasm, it's okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Does that happen? No, I know that. It does for me.

52:45 I know that. I had a lover that actually did not give a shit about his orgasm. I have a lover like that. And, and it was wonderful. I mean, in the beginning, it was really weird for me because it wasn't my experience and I would feel guilty. And then I got to a point where I realized that my pleasure and my orgasm were more important. Yes. And it was more important. And I had more orgasms with that guy and spent more time lolling around in bed with him.

53:10 And there was just no, there was no time. Yeah. You know, and we would just. It kind of, it was wonderful. There was just no pressure at all. If you don't have an orgasm, you're okay, guys. That's a huge thing is don't put pressure on it. I mean, none whatsoever. You know, if you put pressure on her, she's probably not going to come, right? Absolutely. And I think, Mark, you've talked about this on your show before. It's okay to say no. It's okay to, you know, it's okay to start with a woman.

53:34 It's a huge turn on, actually. It's a huge turn on to be like, oh, you know what? We've gone far enough. Yes. Yes. Yes. That will get me more amped up than anything. And I'm so ready to see you again if that happens. Yeah. You know, and I'll go even further. Then I think you might get to a home. You might make a home run. Yeah. That was always my strategy is just kind of push them away, you know, the first couple days. Not push them away necessarily, but just don't look like a dude who's thirsty and trying to rush into it.

54:05 And then it would just always happen, you know, so quickly, almost faster than if you did try to jump into it, which is what so many guys do is they try and they chase and they're thirsty and they want it. And then the girl's like, no. And then suddenly he's being, you know, rejected. Right. And he's the one who says, ah, we're good. Let's take it slow. Let's enjoy this. And just like you said, Sean Lee, is you want to savor it like that five course meal.

54:29 I love that analogy. And all those things play a role. And, and I had a question just going back and briefly, when you say it takes 30 to 40 minutes, that's from the time of first kissing, being on the couch, maybe even back at the nightclub, like dancing sexually together. Nope. You're saying it takes 30 minutes from the time I'm down here. 1000%. It's like, it takes on, on average, it takes a woman 20 to 30 minutes, sometimes longer, but on average, I think it's 20 some odd minutes for a woman to actually have an orgasm.

55:03 And that is just from oral pleasure. Yeah. From like point of contact. Holy. Yeah. That's why guys are messing this up. They don't know how long it actually takes. Yeah. What about when a girl masturbates herself though? She can knock that out in like seven seconds, right? 30. Yeah. Easy. 30 seconds. Okay. What's the difference? Oh my God. Remember all that stuff that went through our heads? Yeah. We don't have to think about it. We know our bodies, but think about what Monica said about when she's having an orgasm and she's like, Oh my God, this feels so good.

55:31 I have to focus on the pleasure. And all of that stuff is going on in your head. We told you in the beginning that when we first go down there, we grew up with our vaginas. We know. Well, we know. Right. We know what could happen down there. So we're not sure. There's all of that stuff. Even, you know, even if you've been with somebody a long time and you're really attracted and really aroused, you can shorten that. But for the most part, pack a lunch, get comfortable.

55:57 You have like on like a camel water back, right? That's exactly right. That's exactly right. You know, that's what I said. Do some shoulder. You know what? Get your delts really strong, boys. Seriously. I mean, I, I literally had a guy, this was last year, but I had a guy that I was kind of dating, but really it was just a fuck. I mean, we both knew we weren't going to date each other. He was like 15 years younger than I was, but he went down on me for, I should, you know, like it was like eight minutes.

56:26 I mean, I don't know who's keeping track. You are. I am. Right. That's what I'm saying. But he went to, and then he stopped and I wasn't even, I was, I mean. You're nowhere near running. I was on my way. It wasn't bad. He, he was actually eating my pussy like a champ. He was doing all right, but then he stopped. And then because he was like a new partner, right? I didn't want to complain. I didn't want to be like, what the fuck? You know, now I'm wondering in my head, like what the fuck just happened?

56:50 He just stopped for no reason. Guess what? He wants to fucking stick his dick in me. Okay, fine. I get it. Like you're done now. So I told him no. I was like, uh, uh, and. Oh my God, you're so good at this. I'm such a little bitch in bed. I was just like, I was like, no, I gave him like the smack down. And I was like, uh, uh, so then things just shifted into a very like non-sexual mode. And I was like, what the fuck happened?

57:12 What the fuck happened? And what did he say? He said, he said, what do you mean? And no, he said, I tried. And I said, what the fuck do you mean? You tried. You didn't even try. And that's what I said. I was like, 10 minutes, like really 10 minutes. Like you think that's enough. But here's the thing. I don't think this guy was a dick. I really don't. It's just ignorance. I, I don't. And I had the whole conversation with him. Listen, it takes 20 minutes. And he was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

57:39 He had no idea. Do your research, boys. He had no clue. Like we need more time. I cannot tell you how many times I've said that to a partner. I needed more time. I just needed a little more time. Why didn't you come, babe? I'm sorry I didn't get your, oh, babe. Yeah. I needed more fucking time. I just needed another, you know, 10 minutes. And if it's too much for you, then stop and do something else and then go back down, you know, and get in the gym.

58:05 I'm serious. Yeah, no, I'm serious too. I'm with you. I'm getting with you. Yeah. I'm with you. I think that that, you know, because if they don't exercise and they aren't healthy and fit, you know, that time on your shoulders and it's painful for them and they don't want to, but it affects their performance. Okay. Also, when you're having sex, like missionary style and you have to hold yourself up, I mean, you need to be in shape, man. That shape gets tiring. Get your back strong, get your delts strong.

58:27 Seriously, man. Right. I mean, I've been into working out. I got seriously into working out for the past three years and me today compared to when I look like a chicken McNugget with tits, it's a completely different situation. And the sex is so much better. So much better. I'm a freaking Spartan now, dude, because I can hold myself up forever, right? Just hold myself there. So, okay. That's perfect. This is getting long and it's getting awesome, but I want to, I want to go ahead and wrap it up.

58:55 So when she's finishing orgasming, okay. So obviously women's orgasms can last way longer than guys orgasms as she's ramping down. And now we're going down the hill where we're talking about pacing, right? With the fingers and the tongue. Do you slow it down? Maybe get harder, get softer, or do you just keep the pace until she's like, okay, get off. Stop, stop, stop. What, what, what would you suggest there? Um, you go first. So for me, if, if, as I'm ramping down, I'll tell you when to stop, but don't stop doing it until I tell you to stop.

59:29 Okay. Because that, that was like, I've had that with a different partners. He, I would start to come and even stop. I was like, what are you doing? Oh yeah. Cause it's still going. Like you're still riding away, still riding away. You keep going with what you're doing. But if she's multi-orgasmic and that's a conversation, that's how you find that out. Depending on how she multi-ohs, like for me, if, if I'm done and I say, stop and you give me 30 seconds to a half a minute and you start over again, I'll have another orgasm and we can do this all day, but it depends on how multi-oh she is.

1:00:01 Right. But under no circumstances do you just kind of pull away from her completely. Like, right. Like even if you take your finger gently out of her and you put your head on her leg or something and you just let her relax in her body, just don't, don't leave her like laying there cold. I mean, I would say that's probably true and, and you actually brought up an interesting point. You know, I don't think it's a bad thing to actually ask your partner before you even gone down on them or had sex with them.

1:00:26 What, you know, do they squirt? Do they, are they multi, I am not multi-orgasmic at least so far. I'm totally open to it. I mean, do they squirt? That's a good one. Can you imagine being down there? Bam! That would not be happening. But you know, the guy that we talked about that I, I had this one night, it was my first one night stand ever. And, uh, I had an orgasm with this guy going down on me. It was a total shocker for me. Cause I normally don't on the first, you know, go rounds with this complete stranger.

1:00:54 But, uh, you know, we had had this super intense conversation all day. Like, you know, he didn't go in blind. We talked a lot about it. So he knew, like, I think he already kind of knew he got a cheat sheet. Basically he got like the clip. He got the playbook. Yeah. And, um, and I don't think that's a bad thing. And we, we laughed about it afterwards actually, because we laughed about it the next day. Cause we were just like, Oh my God. You know, we had talked about this so much that he already kind of knew what was going on.

1:01:24 But I like a little bit of content. Like I like it a little bit softer and just slow it down a little bit. Like not so intense, but yeah, don't, don't just stop. Don't just leave me hanging. Cause I'm still coming. Yeah. I'm still like, my waves are still going. Sometimes I can, you can kind of keep it going. Yep. Yeah. That's why you don't stop. You don't stop. For how long? For how long can you go? Until she tells you to stop. Until I start to squirm away.

1:01:48 I would say, cause I don't, or I'll, I'll do like the tap out. Like the MMA. The head smack. That's exactly right. No, it's like the, it's the, it's the MMA. Yeah. The tap. Yeah. I do the tap. So, I mean, but how long, like, is it a minute? 45 seconds? No, no. A few minutes? Oh God. For me, it's probably like another, maybe like 15 to 30 seconds. I would say. So I was going to say when it depends because if I'm having a, just a clit orgasm, clitoral orgasm, those are super fast.

1:02:24 But if I'm having a G-spot orgasm, it doesn't take a minute. And I've never had a G-spot orgasm. I've only had clitoral orgasm. So I would say for me, they're really intense. And that's why I need you to kind of back off. It's not a short burst though. I do like a long, I have like, from what I've been told, I don't know because I can only get the feedback of men that I've slept with, but I have like really, really intense long orgasms. See, I don't have those unless I have a G-spot orgasm.

1:02:48 Otherwise, my clitorals are short and fast, but I can have a lot of them. Like I said. Yeah. That's super cool. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's good. Is it, is it the same as like a man's orgasm where it's like like that, like the pulsing? No, I don't think it is. Can you explain it? If you can explain this, that would be amazing. We talked about this on the show. It's like this really big, intense contraction and then smaller waves of contractions. I think he's right. I think that this is not accurate, but I think the concept is accurate.

1:03:17 Okay. Would you agree with that? It's like a really big, intense contraction. For me, it's like a sneeze, like it's a big, big buildup and then it's like a big explosion. Right. But then the next wave after that is a smaller sneeze, right? Oh yeah. I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Like, so it's like a big sneeze and then a littler sneeze and a littler sneeze. Yeah. That's actually probably really, yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. So I took it back. Now, after she comes, can you have sex with her immediately after?

1:03:48 Like, put it in immediately or is there a cuddle time? What's the modus operandi? I was going to say, you can fuck me. You can fuck me so hard. Right after that. Right after. Like, jam that fucker in. And go for more. Just like take it. Yes. Like a grunting. Just like, you get up out of my pussy, stick your cock in me and go for it. Like, throw me over on my stomach and fuck me from behind. However you want to do it. However the fuck, yeah.

1:04:13 Just go for it. And that, I think, is the first sexual thing Monica and I have ever agreed on. I know, right? That's so true. That's funny. Perfect. Well, this has been awesome, ladies. Thank you so much for explaining this to my guys. I think, you know, a lot of us needed help with this and this was awesome. We went through the whole psychological thing, the whole tactical thing, and I think we gave them some good tips. So where can they find you? How can they learn more about you?

1:04:43 Tell us, tell us where you guys are. All right. Perfect. We are the Two Wild Orchids. They can spell our website any way they want, the word two, any way they want. And we've got twowildorchids.com. And of course, on all of the podcast platforms, iTunes, all of those. And inside of the Two Wild Orchids website, we do have to tell you that if you send unsolicited the dick pics, then we have a wall of shame for you. So don't do that. But we'd love to have them come in and check out our podcast because we talk to our audience about a 50-50 split.

1:05:16 So I think you guys enjoy it. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming again. We really do appreciate it. And guys, I will see you in the next podcast.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.