How to Have INDESTRUCTIBLE CONFIDENCE & THE HEART OF A WARRIOR

0:00 For every jiu-jitsu practitioner today who is blue belt, maybe a hundred give up before get the blue belt, at least. Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. I got something to say. I got my Brazilian jiu-jitsu blue belt today. Yeah, boys, I finally did it, man. I've been talking about it pretty much since the day I started this podcast. Always wanted to get my blue belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

0:45 Took me, it's a little embarrassing, took me four years, broke my foot, broke my rib, cracked my nose, got a fracture in my nose, jammed up a million fingers, fucked up my knee really bad, just injury after injury, and also COVID was part of the reason it took me four years. But I finally did it, boys. I got my belt today. I'm super pumped. And as Hickson Gracie, who is probably the most talented and respected Brazilian jiu-jitsu master that's ever walked this earth, said about one out of 100 people get their Brazilian jiu-jitsu blue belt.

1:18 And I've heard a lot of people say it's the equivalent of achieving your black belt in other martial arts. So pretty proud today, boys. And I want to talk to you about why I think each of you guys should fight and why not only is it important your duty as a man, but it's going to radically improve your confidence. It's going to radically improve your success with women, your testosterone, your masculinity. I just think it's so damn important. And it was the one missing piece, not the one missing piece, God knows there's many, but it was one of the many missing pieces in my game when it comes to being a man.

1:53 I've been in many social pressure situations, and I always knew if the situation disintegrated into a physical confrontation, I really wouldn't be able to handle myself. And I didn't realize at the time, I definitely realize it now that it really affected my confidence. It really made me less confident in front of women, particularly in scary settings like nightclubs or parties or social settings where there's other alpha males there. If you don't know how to defend yourself, it really affects your confidence. And as I always talk about in this podcast, your body language is a reflection of what's going on inside your head.

2:27 So little things are communicated, particularly to women, when you don't feel you can defend yourself, you're way more closed up. You're not, as I spoke about on that episode, vulnerable, and therefore her attraction for you wanes. But now that I do know how to fight to some extent, I'm definitely not done yet, and I'm definitely no beast on the streets, but a little bit, I can defend myself. I have a decent foundation now. Now that I have that man, the way I carry myself is completely different.

2:53 And it's really helped me with not only women, but just being a man and being masculine and having high testosterone and doing everything that we as men want to do. So the thing that got me seeking martial arts in the first place, seeking to put myself under voluntary pain is this whole notion that good times create weak men. And we are in good times right now. I mean, obviously there's issues with the United States, issues with the world, you know, there's things going on like COVID and possibly World War III is about to start with Russia, et cetera, et cetera.

3:25 But overall, compared to the vast majority of history, like we have it so easy. I mean, most of us live like goddamn kings. If you compare our lives to the lives of like 16th century peasants, we have the best lives possible and it's easy because tough men create good times. So weak men create hard times, hard times create strong men, strong men create good times and good times create weak men, which is where we're at right now. So us being weak men, and you see it all over the goddamn place, it absolutely puts shame in my game when I see the amount of pussies there are out in society on a day-to-day basis, particularly men, younger men who come up in today's society are fucking pussies.

4:10 And we don't have to dwell on this. We all know it. It's really goddamn sad. I mean, half the guys I see out in society, out in nightclubs, they're like fucking girls, bro. Like they can't even handle themselves. They look like goddamn pussies. And then females are becoming men. It's really a massive problem. The confusion that women have with their own masculinity and the confusion men have with their own femininity. I want to give you guys a quick hint, okay? The reason why almost every single relationship disintegrates is because of a lack of polarity, a lack of polarity, which means she's too in her masculine, you're too in your feminine, you guys are too close.

4:46 So there's no sexual tension between you. You lose attraction for her. She loses respect and attraction for you. And the relationship dissolves. And the reason why we're not enough in our masculinity is because we're in good times and good times create weak men. I have a poster on my wall. My clients always see it. Guys who get on the coaching call with me always see it. It's the guys storming the beaches of Normandy on June 6, 1944. Omaha Beach, you guys have probably seen the movie Saving Private Ryan, that first scene.

5:16 Anyway, I have that poster up on my wall and it says, harden the fuck up on it. Now in today's society, everything is so goddamn easy that we actually have to choose pain willingly. Because unless we do, we are just going to descend into more and more weakness. So that's why I have the saying, every day you should do something that sucks. You should always be involved in something that challenges you and you're naturally not good at and in a way you actually hate. And for me, that was Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

5:43 I'm not flexible. I'm not very mobile. It just doesn't make sense to me. I'm tall. I'm lanky. Some ways that actually works to my advantage, but in a lot of ways it doesn't. I really struggled with it. Like people would just pass me up so quickly. And to be honest with you, I'm kind of like usually that guy that succeeds at things, right? Like you. I'm pretty talented. I feel I'm pretty smart. I usually am pretty damn good at things. I have good hand-eye coordination, et cetera.

6:08 But dude, with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, man, I just sucked at it. I really did. And everybody says that because it's an absolutely humiliating, ego-checking experience. But for me particularly, I just didn't have the skill set, which is why I did it. Because I understood that as easy as life is, right? We have a warm bed, air conditioning, heater, warm shower anytime we want it. We can drive anywhere we want to go. For God's sakes, there's so many different modes of transportation. You hardly have to walk anymore.

6:38 Like even when you're in the airport, you just get on that goddamn people mover and you don't have to walk. Like we've become so unbelievably lazy. And that's natural. We have a tendency towards laziness because life used to be so hard that we would work hard in order to create a reality for ourselves where we could relax. But now that everything is so freely given to us, all we have to do is just sit there. Like literally, people will now bring you food to your door.

7:03 People will go shopping for you and just bring you your groceries or deliver to you a pizza or anything else you want. Like marijuana is even being delivered nowadays, I believe, in Colorado. God, I don't smoke, so don't quote me on that. But it's like anything you want can be given. So we are creating weak men and it's our job as men to challenge ourselves to become stronger. And I cannot think of anything better than martial arts or learning how to pick up girls to challenge yourself, make yourself uncomfortable, do what sucks in order to get what you want, which is to have extremely high testosterone, an aura that's brimming with confidence and masculinity, and to be that fucking man that we all want to be.

7:42 Because in your heart, brother, you are a warrior. Like if I put you back in 1600 and you were a peasant, you would not believe how strong you are. If I put you on that ramp and you had to storm Omaha Beach, you wouldn't believe what's inside you to allow you to do that. But so many of us don't access it. And the reason why I chose Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is because it's the hardest martial art to get a belt in. To get your black belt, it takes 10 to 20 years.

8:08 And men, if you're listening, I salute you, man. He is a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I mean, grandmaster in my eyes to be able to achieve that. So what I want to urge you guys to do is twofold. First of all, I strongly urge every single one of you dudes to take a martial art. And if I had to suggest one, I'm no expert. I haven't taken them all. I decided to start with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu because 95% of fights end up on the ground and you do six months to a year or get your blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

8:37 You're going to win that fight if that guy doesn't know anything. Guys come in on their first day or the first couple months. They're like hopeless against me. I mean, I'm not bragging. It's just it's Jiu Jitsu. It's not me. Jiu Jitsu works. And if you get into a fight with somebody, you can neutralize them without having to bash their face in. And if you look at the first UFC, which in my opinion is the quintessential example of the most effective martial art, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu beat every single other martial art there was.

9:05 Karate, Kung Fu, boxing, catch wrestling, Muay Thai, whatever it is, it beat it because you just take them to the ground, submit them. They're fucking done. So the first thing I want you guys to do is consider taking a martial art. Now that I've achieved my blue belt, I'm going to continue to practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It is a perishable skill, obviously, but I'm going to focus now on my standup game. I'm going to try Muay Thai kickboxing. I'm going to try Krav Maga because of Krav Maga black belt.

9:31 Just join my coaching program. What is up, brother? Great to have you. I'm not going to put your name out there because I don't know if you'd be comfortable with that, but great to have you. I'm going to try a bunch of different things to see what fits best. But I think Muay Thai is going to be it because Muay Thai works really well with a clench and the forward facing stance. It works really well with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and other types of wrestling. So you guys, I urge you to take martial arts.

9:54 And man, I just, I have to say it, dude. I just strongly suggest Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It's going to humble you. It's going to kick your ass. It's going to be one of the hardest things you've ever done. And time and time again, I see guys come in, brand new white belts. You never fucking see them again. Why? Because their ego can't handle what they thought they were capable of in a fight. They thought, oh, I'm strong. I played basketball or football or soccer in high school.

10:18 I can beat these guys. And then you get an old grandpa like me, 45 years old with a bad hip, and I fucking choke you out. That is a humbling ass experience. But when you can stick through it and take the taps, take being the nail for a while, once you become the hammer, it is the most confidence building thing you'll ever experience. And I see guy after guy after guy just quit. I can't even believe how many goddamn gees they sell. The gee is like the uniform we wear.

10:45 That place sells gee after gee after gee. And guys just don't show up again because they get tapped. I mean, I feel kind of bad about it, but I was basically sitting on this guy's ribs and I arm barred him and I never saw him again. And after the class, I was like, bro, don't quit. Because I could see it in his face, what I did to him. He was like college athlete, super in shape. And then I'd get him into mount, get S mount and sit on his fucking chest.

11:07 And he's like, and then I arm barred him. And he was like, I could see it, dude, in his face. So I gave him a big speech. I was like, don't quit, bro. This is worth it. This is real right here. And he never showed up again. I haven't seen him since. And that's why 99 out of 100 guys quit. One dude sticks with it to get his blue belt. Yeah, I'm a little bit of a martyr. I'm a little bit of a crazy bastard. And I had a very strong why.

11:30 What was my why? Well, biggest of all is I promised you guys that I was going to get my blue belt. How many times have I said it? That's a goddamn strong why right there. But for me, it was protecting my family, protecting my woman, and particularly protecting my daughter. That's what a man does. Your job is to protect. And I want to ask you, brother, can you protect your loved ones? When you get a woman who you're going to fall in love with, can you protect her?

11:53 If she's getting raped by a dude, and I hate to say this, you know, it's horrible to think about, but this is reality. We are in a state of consciousness where there are bad men out there. You need to be the baddest man you can be to protect your loved ones. Can you do it? Or are you just going to hope the cops come? Or hope you can just roundhouse him because you have this delusion in your head that because you're strong, you're in shape, you work out, you can fight.

12:15 Bullshit. I was a bouncer for five years. That whole fucking I'm going to haymaker you and just smoke you is bullshit. Here's what happens. One guy throws a haymaker. Other guy grabs him. They go to the ground. And now what is it? It's a jujitsu match, plain and simple. And the dude who has a little bit of skill set telling you do it for six months, you'd be able to beat most people in a ground fight. He can submit that person, choke the guy out. It's this amazing skill set that I'd love for all you guys to have because it's your job as a man to go into pain willingly because we're not getting enough pain in society.

12:49 Now, here's the interesting thing. When you indulge in easiness, when you don't tackle your fears, when you don't do what's hard, you know what happens? Life becomes hard to you. You get things like cancer. You get things like cease and desist letters. You get sued. You start losing money. You start getting fat and out of shape and you get a heart attack. Life always has a way to kick your ass unless you're going to kick your own ass. So go do it voluntarily. Go into a martial art that interests you.

13:17 And my second point, which I mentioned like 10 minutes ago, I had it there in the back of my head. I knew how to get to it. My second point is every day you got to do something that sucks. Every day you have to go into pain willingly because, as David Goggin says, in order to reach your potential, you have to suffer. You have to suffer because we are built to suffer. We are built to persevere. And today's society doesn't give that to us. It doesn't give us enough of it.

13:44 So you're a machine who isn't being used. And the way to make that machine healthy, the way to make that machine happy, the way to make that machine function in the way it was supposed to function is to challenge it consistently. Think about 1853. These young boys going west to get beaver pelts out of the Rocky Mountains in order to send back east so they can make hats out of them. That's why they went to the Rocky Mountains. I talked about it in my survival episode. Think about those boys and all the hardships they went through.

14:14 I guarantee you there was a deep-seated happiness inside of them. They were happy. They were vibrant. They were healthy. Now we have 75% of people who are overweight, out of shape, goddamn miserable because life's too easy. If you go through the motions of life, go to work, come home, play Halo, you know, and have this delusion in your head that you could win a fight, you're fucking dreaming, bro. You got to challenge yourself. And the cool thing about BJJ, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, is it's real. You scrap with the dude at 100%.

14:45 And most of the time, I mean, not always for me, but most of the time you don't get hurt. Whereas with other martial arts, boxing and Muay Thai, like a full fight, you're going to fucking go home with bruised ribs, a cracked ankle. Like, you're going to be super beat up. But what's cool about BJJ, and I was just there today, man, I rolled after I got my blue belt, is you can go full speed. And people can kick your ass without you being too hurt in a debilitating kind of way where you're out for like six weeks.

15:14 That's why it's so awesome. And really, it's a superpower. Like Jocko, I don't know if you guys listen to the Jocko podcast. He's like, BJJ is a superpower. And it is, man. There was this like 250-pound beast that came in recently. Brand new white belt, I was just toying with this guy like a cat plays with a toy. It was insane. I was like, this guy could crush me if he really wanted to, but he doesn't know what's happening to him. Suddenly, there's this Mark Singh character on his back, and I'm choking him out, and he has no idea how to defend it.

15:43 It's a superpower, boys. So I strongly suggest it. But you know what? Even for you guys who aren't interested in martial arts, and you know what? That's okay. I'd prefer you do it because I think it's a man skill that's going to seriously increase your confidence. But even if you don't want to do it, take this message. Every day, you've got to do something that sucks. Every day, you've got to move into pain willingly. In your pain is your freedom. In your pain is the life that you want.

16:07 Remember, when you do what's easy, your life will be hard. When you do what's hard, your life will be easy. And this totally applies to women. A lot of you guys just listen, and you're armchair quarterbacks. You basically listen to all my information. You say, yeah, that's great. Once I listen to enough of these podcasts, then I'll go out and talk to girls. You basically know a lot about seduction, but implementation is lacking because you're being a coward. I hate to call you out, some of you guys, but I can't be your mentor unless I'm your tour mentor.

16:39 It's cowardice if you're not going out there and risking getting rejected, putting the shit into practice. And it's the same thing. Those guys who don't come back to BJJ, it's cowardice, man. You can't take the fucking ego check. You can't take a dude's knee in your neck the moment before he arm bars you. And you realize that this guy could have literally broken your arm and probably even killed you if you wanted to. Realizing that, putting yourself in the fucking lion's den, going to gladiator school voluntarily, that's what a man does.

17:11 You have so much courage in your heart, brother, but there's so much cowardice just laced and hidden in every single message through the media and Instagram and every avenue we look to. There's so much fucking pussification of the American male and the English male, the Australian male, New Zealand male, German male, whatever. Canadian male. Didn't forget about you Canadians now. There's so much pussification. It's our job as the unapologetic army to harden the fuck up. And that includes choosing pain voluntarily and it also includes choosing a martial art, in my opinion, Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

17:49 When you do that, boys, you'll walk into nightclubs and you'll be like, dude, I could take that guy. I mean, even if those dudes jump me, I'll be able to handle myself and I've been in the fucking crucible enough times where I can take it. I can take that pain. Guys, it's such a great feeling. And I've only been doing BJJ for four years. Just imagine 20 years of training and a lot of you guys do have black belts in certain disciplines. While I think things like Kung Fu and Karate, Aikido aren't very effective in a real fight, particularly Aikido and Kung Fu.

18:20 I still think it's cool if you guys have done martial arts and you've trained because it gave you that discipline and you've taken a couple shots and you are probably harder than the average dude. So I do respect you. But as far as a martial art that's actually effective, man, BJJ is the way to go. And I think also it's important to have stand-up. So I'm going to do Muay Thai, Krav Maga, I've been researching that. It seems pretty effective. I'm going to try them all out and I'm going to start over just like you guys are.

18:46 So if you're starting BJJ or Muay Thai, let's start together, bro. Let's do this fighting shoulder to shoulder as brothers with courage in our heart and go in there and get kicked in the leg or get choked out or get armbarred or get leg locked. Like, this is what men do. This is what you were built for. I know my name, Mark, in its original translation means fighter. And that's what I love, man. I got that warrior heart within me. And I know you have that warrior heart within you, too.

19:12 You wouldn't be listening unless you resonated. So let's get out there, brother. Let's learn to fight. Let's up our confidence. You are a man. And your job as a man is to protect not only your loved ones, but also the very nature of masculinity itself. You are born from a lineage of warriors. You are born from a lineage of men who had the courage to approach women and procreate. That's why you're here. Every single one of your relatives has gotten laid. So if you're not being courageous and getting the best girl you can, if you're not being courageous and learning how to fight and putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, I'm telling you, you can start today.

19:48 Everything can change starting today. I was a pussy, too. Believe me. Probably the leader of the pussy army. The fucking brigadier general of the vagina crew. That was me. But one day I said, you know what? I'm going to do Brazilian jiu-jitsu. I'm going to get my blue belt, and I will die before I quit. And that's what it took, man, because I wanted to quit many times. But I said, hell no. I promised my boys that I'd get there. I promised myself. I promised Marissa.

20:12 I promised my daughter. Put a strong enough Y, W-H-Y, in front of you. And nothing will stop you. Nothing will stop you. The reason those guys quit is they don't have a strong enough Y. I want you to have a Y. To up your masculinity. Up your ability to protect. And be the man that you were meant to be. Don't get to your deathbed with regrets. Wondering what could have been if you just had the courage to put yourself out there, to choose pain willingly, to go approach those girls, to learn how to fight, to be a fucking man without making any apologies for it.

20:45 I got another awesome one dropping on Monday, boys. So stay tuned for that one. And I will see you in the next episode. So... We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.