How to Not Care What People Think of You Anymore: 3 Foolproof Strategies

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. And you clicked on this one because you care way too much about what people think of you, huh? I used to be there myself until I stopped caring. You know, it's funny. The reason I thought about doing this episode is because I was in the gym today.

0:31 And what is up with dudes when they hit like 50, 55, 60 years old? They just get butt-ass naked in the gym locker room, bro. They don't give a shit, dude, anymore what people think of them, man. This guy was standing next to me, butt-ass naked, probably like 65 years old. And it's just when one of those dudes is next to you, you're like, oh, get out of here, man. Just get away from me, bro. And you try to get out of the locker room as quickly as you can.

0:58 You're like, hurry up, get your water bottle. Oh, it's stuck. No, pull it out, you idiot. Get it out of there. Come on, come on. Meanwhile, the freaking shadow from his ball sack is on your leg. And you're like, get this fucking naked guy away from me. So we're going to talk about how you too can become that naked gym locker room creepy dude who gets out of the shower and just swings dick, bro. Just walking back to your locker that of course is right next to your locker.

1:20 Of course, it has to be right next to you because that's the way the universe works, man. What you fear, you attract. And I definitely fear some saggy-ass swinging dick next to me when I'm trying to get ready for a good workout. But today, gentlemen, we're going to talk about three ways that you too can stop caring what people think of you. This is a really important episode because man, how much suffering is given to us by caring too much about what people think. I don't know about you, but I've spent way too much energy in my life caring what people think, doing things I didn't even want to do because of other people's desires, thinking that maybe women would like me more because I did X, Y, Z thing.

2:04 But the ironic thing about this entire episode and the ironic thing about trying to get people to like you is the less you care, the more they actually respect you. And we're going to delve into that today. Before we jump into the content, have a slightly different announcement. You guys may remember my partner and good friend, John Anthony. I started this podcast with him back about three years ago. We started this thing together, did probably about 30 or 40 episodes together. And then he decided to move on to different things.

2:30 He didn't want to be locked down to a certain place. And obviously, when you do a podcast, you have to have a studio, you have to have a regular schedule. And he was young, you know, he's in his mid twenties, wanted to travel. This guy was an absolute girl magnet and still is a fucking champion. I really, really, really respect this guy, especially for being in his mid, I think he's in his mid twenties now, just a really standup dude. I mean, business integrity, life integrity, just really, really impressed me.

2:57 Always was there on time, always did what he said he was going to do. And that's rare, man, to have that kind of honor. So we're still good friends. We text all the time and he just dropped a new business. And I always want to support my friends, those friends who I believe in. And his business is nootropics. Now, nootropics are basically for focus. They're for energy and they're a natural way to kind of improve your state, which of course is good too, when you're trying to approach women.

3:24 So full disclosure, I haven't tried it myself, but I told him, I was like, listen, you got a new business. I'd love nothing more than to try to help you out by telling my boys about it. So if you guys are interested in getting some nootropics, I'm not being paid for this. This is just me trying to hook up a guy who I strongly believe in. He's starting a new business and looking at the website, dude, it's fucking sick. And I would take it all day long.

3:47 So John, if you want to send me some of that shit, I'll take it, man. I'm definitely into it. So it's limitless new tropics.com would appreciate if you guys went over there and supported our boy, John Anthony. As I said, the dude is nothing but integral, totally full of honor. And I know that this is high quality shit just because he puts his name behind it. The link is in the description below. So if you could help him out, I'd very much appreciate it. All right, gentlemen, let's go ahead and jump right into the content.

4:12 So caring about what people think of us is actually pretty natural. So before we jump into how to not care anymore, I want you to first forgive yourself for caring too much. Oftentimes in life, we tell ourselves we should or shouldn't do certain things. And I call that shooting all over yourself. And when you tell yourself that you shouldn't care about what people think, that's actually a lie because it's quite literally designed into your DNA. It's in the lizard brain because as I always talk about, we come from tribal communities.

4:41 So in those tribal communities, your reputation, what people thought of you is really important. But now tens of thousands of years later, that doesn't matter anymore because we live in a larger society where if you go out, for example, one night, open a girl, get rejected, other people see you, and maybe they snicker at you and you have to walk off with your tail between your legs. That really is emotionally crippling. But what's really happening is they don't care. They're going to literally forget about you in three minutes because they're so goddamn worried about their own problems.

5:12 So when we get to the point, when we first forgive ourselves for caring too much, then we can move into releasing caring too much and move into a better psychology around our perception of what people think of us. So the first tip I want to give you is that the less you care about what people think of you, the more they'll actually like you. We've seen successful people throughout society. You can think of Hollywood actors, presidents, people who rose to a high station in life who are very successful because they don't give two shits what people think.

5:46 When you don't care what people think about you, you're way more authentic. You're way more genuine. You do what you want to do and people subconsciously respect that. So if, for example, you have a certain style or you have a way of speaking, or as I always talk about in this podcast, you unapologetically ask for things without any apology whatsoever, people will subconsciously respect you more and they will like you more because of it. Not to mention women, okay? Women are super attracted to a guy who isn't so hung up on what people think of him.

6:19 He does his own thing. He has his own style. He has his own belief system. He's ensconced in his own frame and therefore that's highly attractive. Why? Because women are attracted to leaders and leaders always put very little precedence on what people think of them, which is the opposite of what you think, isn't it? You would think that to be a leader, you got to brown nose everybody, be what everybody wants you to be, but it's actually more attractive when you stick to your ideals, stick to who you are and stick to that, which you believe in.

6:46 And then people respect you because of it. And they follow you because of it, especially women. It's highly masculine to believe in yourself. And it's highly masculine to be internally validated. And internal validation is the second way to not care anymore about what people think of you. Once you get highly into your masculine energy, you'll naturally just not really care anymore because what happens is you become internally validated. Your opinion of yourself matters more than any of the negative voices outside yourself. When your own thoughts become more important to you than the thoughts of all those voices who are trying to bring you down from the outside, you've mastered your life.

7:26 And in addition to that, there's a title of a book I really like, which is called What You Think of Me Is None of My Business. So when we get highly into our masculine energy, and I've taught you guys a myriad of ways to do that over the several years I've been doing this podcast, being towards oriented, jacking weights, going for goals, being disagreeable, dialing in your diet, lowering your body fat percentage, and making no apologies for who you are as a man. When you move into that, you're just naturally not going to care so much anymore.

7:58 You're going to do exactly what you want to do. And if somebody disagrees with you, you're going to basically say to them, sorry, bro, I can't help you with that. So your reality becomes so strong that you become the first filter, the second filter, the jury, the judge, and the final verdict for all the things that you think are cool or you think are right in your life. So say you have a certain style and some people rip on you because of it. Literally, when you have a strong masculine frame, you look at them as being fucking stupid.

8:25 You're like, bro, you are not cool unless you dress with XYZ thing. You are not cool if you can't see the value in living your life the way I do. Now, when it comes to frame control, your frame is the best thing for yourself. You're not trying to impose it on other people. Like say, for example, you're really into American football. You're not trying to make other people into American football, but when they question you because you're so into it, you play in fantasy football leagues, you're watching replays of football games all the time, and people are questioning you, you literally look at them like they just sprayed your face with shit mist.

8:58 You're like, dude, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm sorry. I cannot relate to you. And I'm sorry, I can't help you with your inability to see how epic NFL football is. So you own up to your own reality. And when you are ensconced in it, you don't give a shit what other people think. So the very fact that you care what other people think is the testament to your insecurity about your own beliefs. Now, I'm not trying to hate on you, brother, but what I'm saying is awareness alone is curative.

9:29 And that's actually something that John Anthony taught me. John Anthony, big shout out to you, brother. Awareness alone is curative. So when you see that when I care too much about what people think, I'm fundamentally insecure in my belief system about what I do, who I am, how I dress, how I roll, because I care so much about what people think. So when people come into my program, one of the first beliefs we remove, which almost all of you guys have, is what people think of me is really important.

9:57 And we use NLP, neurolinguistic programming, in week one, day one. It's one of the first belief systems we remove. When we remove it, my clients no longer care so much people think. Then they can go out, be genuine, be authentic. And then what happens? That's right. Girls get attracted to them. They make more money. They get more opportunities. And this is why my guys get unprecedented success is because we remove and replace belief systems. So we remove the belief system. What people think of me is really important.

10:25 Don't rock the boat. Don't disturb people. That guy over there is better for her than I am. I'm not good enough. And the myriad of bullshit that you were given before you could defend yourself, and we replace it with more powerful, self-affirming belief systems. Like what you think of me is none of my business. I'm sorry, bro. I can't help you with that. Stifle yourself, Edith. Your opinion doesn't matter to me. Your opinion is good for you. Go ahead and rock your style, bro. Like I want you to be authentic in your frame, but don't try to impose your frame upon my frame because I believe in myself.

10:57 I'm the first filter, second filter, jury, judge, and final verdict. And what I'm saying is X, Y, Z is the shit. So when you get highly into your masculine energy, you get highly internally validated. And then those outside opinions don't matter to you anymore. And I'm telling you, gentlemen, you have to get to this point in order to be successful. If you're constantly trying to placate to people, brown nose, kiss their ass, be a dude who you don't want to be because other people want you to be that guy, you will not find success.

11:27 And I'll tell you what, you're not going to find happiness because you're constantly worrying about, oh, what do they think? Is this person good enough? And also you're inauthentic. Why? Because you're putting on different masks for different people. I'm going to be the guy you want me to be, grandma. I'm going to be the guy you want me to be, mom. I'm going to be the guy you want me to be, brother, friends, boss, whoever. If you're not the same dude across all people, that there is an issue.

11:51 And where does it come from? Belief systems and a lack of masculinity. Feminine energy wants to be validated. It wants to be told it's beautiful. It's enough. It wants to be led. When you are disingenuous with your personality, you are essentially in a feminine energy because you're looking for other people to validate you and lead you. So now we have this concept of being internally validated. And just like John Anthony always says, awareness alone is curative. So now that you're aware of this, just fucking decide.

12:18 You know what? I'm going to be internally validated. I don't care what you think of me. My opinion of myself is the only one that matters. Again, that Wayne Dyer quote, when the internal voices in your head become more powerful than all the negativity being thrown at you from the outside, you've mastered your life. All right, gentlemen, and my last tip to not care what people think of you anymore is to realize how unbelievably insecure everybody is. You guys have no literal idea of what's going on inside the heads of most people.

12:54 Now, why am I authority on this? Because I've worked with literally thousands of clients, many of whom seem completely confident, super successful, kicking ass and taking names. And yes, many times already getting tons of girls. And then when they reveal themselves to me, they are fundamentally insecure deep within. It's almost a birthright that we all have to go through the travail of being insecure in order to overcome it. In fact, I think that's the entire purpose of life. Life is here to provide the illusion of the opposite of what we really are.

13:20 So deep within your soul, you are completely secure, but you are given an ego that is fundamentally insecure so that you can overcome it. To wake up to what you really are, which is fully secure, confident in yourself and full of love, both for yourself as well as for others. So that precedence is set that you have to go through the fire of being insecure and everybody is insecure unless they've worked on themselves tremendously. So you have to go through the fire of being insecure and everybody else whose opinion you're worried about, they're probably more insecure than you are.

13:57 Because again, that is the inevitable plight that we are given as human beings. So everybody you see is going through some shit and you're worried about what they think of you while they're worried about what you think of them. They're worried about do I look good enough? Am I tall enough? Am I too fat? And when it comes to women, you guys have to understand that women are oftentimes extremely insecure, even those ones that seem to be the hottest and most unattainable. You know, those girls that get dressed up in the yoga pants and the crop tops and they look super banging when they go to the gym.

14:29 Why do you think they do that? Let's really look at this thing, brother. Why do you think they do that? Okay, you're right. They want attention. They want to be wanted. Why does a girl want to be wanted? It's feminine energy. Women want to be approved of. They want to be desired and that's okay. But a lot of it is also derived of insecurity. Why would a woman dress like that to go to the gym? Let's really be honest because she's insecure. She wants to be approved and she's going to the extreme of dressing like that to get as many eyes on her as possible so that she feels good enough about herself.

15:00 She too is fundamentally insecure when she does that. And we all are. I'm not hating on her. Every single one of you guys listening, including me on many levels is insecure. And unless you face that shit and work on it, it's really not going to change. So when you look at other people and you're so worried about what they think of you, they're probably more insecure than you are, especially if you're still listening to this podcast 18 minutes in or whatever it is. So first of all, forgive yourself.

15:25 Okay. We're all born insecure. We all have been given bullshit before we could defend ourselves. Second of all, realize that not caring actually makes you successful. That which you're trying to achieve by caring so much will be achieved when you stop caring, ironically. And that's another truth of life that oftentimes the opposite is true than what it seems to be in this great illusion. The second thing is caring too much as a feminine energy. Be internally validated. Get highly into your masculinity. Stop giving people the power to judge you and make you feel certain ways about yourself and get internally validated.

16:01 The Tao Te Ching says, when you care about other people's opinion, you become their slave. I love that quote. When you care about other people's opinion, you become their slave. And that's absolutely true. So fuck their opinion. And the third point is all people are fundamentally insecure. So when you realize that you're not the only insecure one that cares so much about what people think, you stop caring so much about what people think because you understand that everybody is caring about what you think, especially those people that seem to be oftentimes the most confident, the most boisterous, that super hot girl at the gym who's wearing those yoga pants.

16:39 With those people, the ego often hides in insecurity. The more inauthentic somebody is, the bigger the ego, the more narcissistic. It's just bigger insecurity. Your ego hides your insecurity. Your ego is insecurity. And we're all given ego. So we're all in this fight together. So stop caring, man. It's just a big dumpster fire, a big clusterfuck. Laugh at it. Have fun. Stop caring. Be you. I'll tell you what, when you are and you're internally validated, life gets so much easier, so much easier. And then you're going to be that 55-year-old dude swinging dick in the gym locker room, not giving a shit and casting your penis shadow over all these young men who are like, oh my God, I can't believe he's doing that, bro.

17:17 Does he even care what people think of him? So in a way, although it's super gross, I kind of respect those guys. I kind of do. And I was kind of smiling today as I left the gym and it gave me a great topic to try to help you boys out on today's episode. Once again, gentlemen, let's support our boy, John Anthony, a fucking champion of the highest degree. Go get yourself some new tropics. Click the link in the description below. The guy is an absolute legend.

17:43 And I know if he stands behind a product, it's a damn good product and you should try it too. Gentlemen, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. Man, Leon, I'm sorry, dude. I was struggling. Came out good though, I thought, especially with your editing oh shit

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.