How to Practice Opening Girls With ZERO Chance of Rejection

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys, Mark Sing here. Thank you for tuning in to another episode and today we are going to talk about approaching girls with zero, that's right, zero chance of rejection. I also want to let you know that as a man of my word, I kept my promise to you. If you listened to a podcast a couple episodes ago, I said that I was going to get some recording of me opening a girl with that crazy, ridiculous, long-ass opener that I was talking about in that other episode.

0:46 I'll do a synopsis again in this episode of what that was all about, but I'm going to go ahead and play that for you at the end of this episode, so make sure you stick around to the end. Also, being it that this is about approaching girls, I want to let you know that I do actually have a program which gives away some of my premier content that I don't share on this podcast. It's called The Approach Formula and you can grab that at gettheapproachformula.com.

1:14 Once again, that's gettheapproachformula.com and there will be a link in the description below. All right, so before you do any kind of activity, wouldn't you agree that it's wise to warm up? Wouldn't you agree that before you're going to go to the major leagues and try to hit a Grand Slam home run, which in this case would be opening a really hot girl, wouldn't you think it would be wise to work your way up, first start in the minor leagues, first practice, rep it out over and over and over again?

1:47 I'm talking getting the batting cage, swing that bat thousands and thousands of times so that when that pitch comes and you're in the World Series, bases are loaded, fastball comes, you can hit that fucker out of the park. Well, it's the same thing with opening. It's the same thing with anything. I have so many clients come up to me and say, Mark, what's the one thing I can say to her to get her? It's like this quintessential sentence that's embedded in all men's brains. What's the one thing I can say to get her?

2:15 Literally, I hear that all the fucking time and I'm sure you've thought it too. Like, man, she's so hot. What could I just say to get her? How could I just get her? Dude, it doesn't work that way, bro. Just like the baseball analogy, this is a skill set. This takes practice. This takes reps and reps and reps. Now, what I'm going to do for you today is teach you how to get those reps without putting your ass on the line. Okay, so many seduction coaches say, all right, here's what I want you to do, Brian.

2:47 Here's what I want you to do, Mike. Jason, here's what you're going to do, buddy. You're going to go up to that cute girl right there and you're going to talk to her. You're going to get the phone number, buddy. Just push for it, man. Just ask for it. Be persistent. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, I've been doing this for a long time. This isn't my first rodeo. And as an NLP coach, I'm very cognizant of the fact that we need to embed positive experiences around opening.

3:11 If I have you go up to that girl and do what many seduction coaches do and say, hey, get her number no matter what the cost. Keep pushing. Pig dog your way through it. You are going to get metaprogramming written into your brain that approaching women is dangerous and you could get rejected. Because why? Because you are going to get rejected. And it's not anything against you that you're rejected, okay? So first and foremost, she rejected your approach. She didn't reject you. She knows nothing about you.

3:40 She doesn't know your qualifications. She doesn't know the kind of guy you are. You just had a bad approach. Well, bro, if you put me into a major league ball game, I'm going to have a pretty bad swing myself. Why? Because I've never practiced it. I quit baseball when I was in seventh grade. Not into it. I enjoy watching it. It's pretty fun to go watch spring training, but I'm not really a baseball player. So dude, how can I be expected to go hit a ball in a major league ball game?

4:02 It's not going to happen. Well, the same things with you. It's like, you're not fucking practicing. Okay. So in this episode, we're going to talk about how to practice safely. So you don't get rejected so that you're going to have good experiences with women. And so that you're going to build up in your mind. Oh, approaching is safe. You're not going to die. You're not going to get hit over the head with a rock. You're not going to get beat up by her boyfriend. Approaching is safe.

4:28 So with that being said, I want to touch upon this as well, is that the reason you have approach anxiety, the reason you're scared to talk to that cute girl is quite literally an anthropological phenomenon that's written into your brain. You know, a hundred thousand years ago, we were living in tribes. If you approach the wrong girl, let's say the girlfriend of the alpha male, and he heard about it, you could literally be ostracized. You could be hit over the head with a rock. It could end very poorly for you.

4:55 So we've developed a safety mechanism that got you here today. Think about it. Think of all the people it took to get you here today, especially over 200,000 years of evolution. They all successfully procreated to get you here. So that should tell you two things. One of which is the fear that you have inside your heart is very legitimate. And it comes from a very real anthropological place that guaranteed the survival of your forefathers. But secondly, all those dudes got laid. Your dad got laid. Your grandpa got laid.

5:34 Your great grandpa got laid. All those dudes got laid. So you can do it too. Okay. So these two things should bring you some comfort. But first of all, you should forgive yourself. If you're afraid to approach girls, understand it's very fucking natural, but it no longer applies in today's society. We no longer live in close circuit tribes where if you do something wrong, it can mean your life. If you get rejected by a girl, which by the way, isn't going to happen. Everybody be calm.

5:59 Everybody slow down. Don't come unpeeled now. But if you get rejected, it means nothing. You get rejected and you go home and you'll probably never see that girl again. So we need to redefine for your subconscious mind what it means to approach women. Now we're going to do this very methodically. We're going to do this from an NLP perspective and we're going to do it from my vast scope of experience, which ranges over 15 years of doing this. I mean, I have opened probably tens of thousands of girls, literally.

6:34 Now when I say opened, what does that mean? It simply means talk to them. Talk to them. Okay, so first and foremost, you need to know that we need to get warmed up. Back to the baseball analogy. If you're going to go swing a bat, you're going to want to warm up first, aren't you? If you're going to go against a really good pitcher, you're going to want to get warmed up. You're going to want to take practice swings. So what I always do is I warm up on the way to the club.

6:57 I talk to homeless people. I talk to fat chicks. I talk to guys. I talk to girls, whoever. I just talk to them. I just chit chat. Hey, what's up guys? How's your nights going? Hey, do you know where this nightclub is? Hey, where's the parking garage around here? I understand there's a big parking garage around here. Whatever. Whatever the context is. If it's a homeless man, I'll be like, what's up brother? Here's a couple bucks, man. Why don't you tell me a piece of wisdom?

7:26 I mean, you live on the streets. It's got to be hard. You're a fucking survivor. What have you learned? And you know what? I've actually learned some really cool things from guys on the streets. And so we have to change our perspective. And here it is. Strangers are friends. I haven't met yet. Strangers are friends. I haven't met yet. Okay. So everywhere you go, you're talking to people everywhere you go. You're being social. Now you might say, yes, Mark, but I'm an introvert. Well, brother, I'm an introvert too.

7:55 Okay. Talking to everybody all the time is not my natural instinct. It may seem that way because I do a podcast and my communication skills might seem more refined, but dude, that's only because I've worked on it because I realized a long time ago that social guys get laid. Okay. There are certain benefits to being an introvert, some of which I'm going to do a podcast on in the future. But the truth of the matter is this, is that social guys get laid. And I guarantee you extroverted guys get laid way more than introverted guys.

8:23 Now, does that mean you need to be a spaz? No. If you've listened to any of my podcasts, you know, I don't advocate that. It just means fucking talking to people. Get out of your shell. Stop being a pussy. Talk to people. Everybody's cool. If you're cool to them, I promise you, if you go up with good energy, and I've said this a hundred times before, but if you go up with good energy, you feel good in your heart, feel good in your body. You're like, Hey, um, right there.

8:51 Just that. Hey, uh, real quick. I got to get out of here in a second, but dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. It'll open for you. I promise you. Okay. Now comes the big concept of this podcast and that is open and eject open and eject means to open the girl, ask her a question and then leave. And that's it. This is called getting reps. Okay. Just like my analogy in the beginning of the podcast, if you're going to play a major league baseball game, you need to rep it out.

9:24 You need to rep that swing thousands of times. And this is how we do it. So initially when you guys first get started, here's what I want you to do. Open girls and ask them a question. One of the best questions that I know of is directions. Hey, do you know where this bar is? Hey, do you know where this parking garage is? Hey, where's Starbucks around here? Hey, I noticed you have a Dunkin Donuts coffee there. Where'd you get that? Hey, I love your shoes.

9:46 Where'd you get those? I'm shopping for my sister for her birthday. I want to buy her those exact shoes. Where'd you get them? Okay. So open and eject. And then she says, Oh, you know, Starbucks is down the street. Take a right, take a left. It's over there. Hey, cool. Thank you. Have a great day. Now you're just dipping your foot in the pool. Aren't you? You're just kind of getting warmed up. You're feeling what it's like to say, Hey, hey, real quick. Um, do you know where Starbucks is around here?

10:10 And you're getting your tone dialed in. You're getting your reactivity dialed in. You're getting your frame dialed in and your body language. Okay. And all these things I'm going to talk about in subsequent podcasts, because opening is really important, almost as important as the first conversation only because it's what determines whether or not you're going to talk to the chick. But in truth, my brother, guys always ask me, what should I say? Do you have any opening lines? Do you have any awesome openers? Yeah, I have a lot of them.

10:41 I have a lot of them. And some of which I'm going to share with you, but bro, they don't fucking matter. They don't matter. It's all about your energy, your presentation, your body language. And how do you refine that Mark? How do I do it? What do I say to get her? I just told you, you rep it out. You practice over and over and over again. That's it. That's the secret. How do you get good at a baseball swing? You fucking rep it out over and over again.

11:06 How do you get good at podcasting? You just do as many podcasts as you can for several years. My podcasts get a little bit better each time. I get a little bit better at speaking. And that's it, man. This is real. This is life. This is how it works. You have to rep it out. So open and eject. Now for you guys who are absolutely terrified to do this, what I suggest is to open hired help. Now hired help is the chick who works at Starbucks, the chick who works at the supermarket, the waitress, whoever it is, a bartender, somebody who's literally hired to talk to you cannot under any circumstance and will not under any circumstance reject you.

11:43 Furthermore, I can't even remember the last time I got a bad comment or reaction when I just asked the chick for directions or asked her opinion on something. I just, I really can't. And none of my students do either. When you hire me, this is part of the homework, open and eject, open and eject. Now, once we get down, once we get that good. Okay. So what I suggest is about 20 opens a week. If you can, if you can do that, depending on where you live, hell, some of you guys can do 20 opens a day, but let's say you do 20 a week.

12:18 And again, it's just open and eject. Then what happens is you build upon it. And just like building blocks, you build up your conversations. Then you open and then you slap a building block on top of it. And you say one more thing, maybe a question, maybe a comment, maybe joke around a little bit and then eject. Then you build a third block on top of it, then eject. Okay. And then suddenly you're working with 10 blocks and you're in a conversation. And then if you deploy all the things that I teach, the four pillars of attraction, if you don't know what those are, please go back and listen to my previous podcast, the four pillars of attraction.

12:53 So important, I believe is the title. Listen to that because it is so important. And I'm also going to circle back to that regarding the chick that I opened, the recording you're going to hear. But if you deploy those, then you're going to start getting numbers. And I'll tell you, bro, when you start cold approaching, okay, first you're going to open and eject. You're not going to get many numbers. The first number you get, dude, you're going to be on cloud nine, man. It's going to be one of the best days of your life, literally.

13:21 So it's worth doing the work. And how hard is it to do this? I still do it. I still do it all the time. When I'm in the supermarket. Hey, I noticed you have olive oil in your car. Where'd you get that? Hey, um, these bananas right here. Do you guys have any that are a little bit more yellow? These are a little green, right? Just fucking talk to people. Just chit chat. Hey, bro, I love your watch, man. It's, is that wood? Is that a wooden watch?

13:45 Dude, that's sick. What is that? Um, another opener I do typically, now I'm going to get more into this in subsequent episode, but a compliment. And dude, this works every time. I don't know why guys are so scared to just give a girl a nice compliment. Hey, uh, real quick. Just want to let you know, I think your outfit is fucking awesome. Good job. And then I'll high five her high five. And she'll be like, Oh my God, thank you. High five. High five me. I'll even tell chicks.

14:09 They're pretty. Now I know in previous podcasts, I say, don't compliment girls. And really what I meant by that is like in the conversation, Oh my God, you're so pretty. You're so beautiful. Shit like that. But opening with it works. There was this solid, really cute girl at the gym. And I was like, fuck it, dude. I need to practice what I preach. So I went up to her and I was like, Hey, um, I just want to let you know, I think you're really pretty.

14:32 What's your name? And bro, she, she was a solid nine and she lit up, lit up. She's like, Oh my God, thank you so much. And like, I was like, damn dude. Well, it was just simple, relaxed, casual comment. And that's the thing is I think I got the good reaction. Actually, I know I got the good reaction because I was chill about it. Right. And that once again is the deciding factor, your frame, your tonality. I was leaning against the machine. I had like my arm leaning against it.

14:59 I had one foot crossed in front of the other and I was like, Hey, I just want to let you know like that. But if I went up and I was like wringing my hands and I was like, Hey, I'm, I just want to let you know you're so pretty. Do you have a boyfriend? Right. It's like kind of the same thing, but it's night and day different. How do you get that frame? If you don't know the answer to that question, I'm going to reach through the fucking microphone and strangle you.

15:27 You get there by doing reps and reps and reps and reps. Strangers are friends I haven't met yet. And most people are really cool. I don't know what it's like in other countries, but I'm pretty sure it's the same way. People are fucking cool if you're cool to them. So go talk to people. But Mark, Mark, I'm an introvert. So am I. Get out your shell? Do you want a solid nine in your bed naked with her legs spread saying, I want you inside of me.

15:58 Do you want that? I know you want that. This is how to get it. Open and eject, open and eject, open and eject. Then through listening to my material or hiring me as a coach, you're going to get more material to put on top of it. And then suddenly you're getting into good conversation. She's fucking cracking up. She's hitting your arm. She's flipping her hair. She's smiling. She's licking her lips. And then you get that like female energy from her. This is so worth it. Like when I told that cute girl at the gym, Hey, I just want to let you know, I think you're really pretty.

16:28 She lit up and like bursted with feminine energy. And it was like a wave going over me of feminine energy. And I was like, yeah, I just want to let you know, take it easy. And dude, I made her day and it felt good for me too. So when you come at it from a different perspective, I'm going to be a go giver, go give her good energy, which is what I always say. Everything changes. Now you can practice and master opening girls with zero chance of rejection.

16:54 All right. So in upcoming episodes, I'm going to talk more about body language. I'm going to talk about opening lines, which I know you guys love to hear. And I'm going to talk about what I typically say. So definitely stay tuned for that. If you want to cut to the chase and get coached by me directly, you can find my coaching website at coachmarksing.com and mark is spelled with a K. No, I'm not from France. I'm an American. M-A-R-K, not M-A-R-C. God damn you. All right.

17:23 Let's change gears here slightly, guys. I want to talk about this opening that I did on this girl the other day at the gym. And what happened is, is I heard, or I saw a YouTube video about Cassidy Campbell, who went up to these girls with these like ridiculously long opening. And I was like, wow, that is brilliant. I really think that would work to get a phone number. So I tried it on two different girls and I got one rejection. She said that she had a boyfriend.

17:51 She laughed, but then she's like, sorry, I have a boyfriend. And then this chick who tossed me her number. Now, obviously I'm not going to text her because I have a girlfriend, but even if I did, do I think that she'll text me back? No. Even given her reaction, like she seemed pretty giddy and she was like cracking up during this whole thing. It was hard to concentrate because she was like, she was giggling, um, to herself when I was saying it. But even if you get that kind of reaction, I still don't think she'll text you back because she doesn't, you don't know anything about her.

18:20 You didn't make her work for you. She's just going to think like, oh, he just wants my sex. Or why does he want me? Why is he texting me? But you know, it was fun. It was a fun little experiment. I personally wouldn't really use it again because I just don't think it would be effective. Now, maybe if it's like, I'm trying to catch a train or she's like digging out, like she's about to get on a train and it's like, I literally have 30 seconds to try to get a girl's phone number.

18:47 Then yeah, this is, this is pretty dope. Uh, it's pretty funny. So let's go ahead and check it out. Here we go. Hey, uh, Hey, real quick. Don't mean to bother you, but what's your name? Hope. What's up, Hope? I'm Mark. Hi. Hey, nice to meet you. So Hope, I have to be honest with you about something. I would swim through a 150 yard pool filled with broken glass, razor sharp broken glass with steroid ridden crocodiles jumping at me from both sides, lathered in oil and juice and, and salt to make all those cuts hurt more than they would hurt if I did it without and pissed off, rage filled hawks diving at me and taking bites in my little ass, swimming through this pool with molten liquid, hot lava pouring on me with you on the other side, urging me on, asking me, come on, Mark, keep going, keep doing it for the one in 2 billion chance of you saying yes to the following thing.

19:45 Hope, can I have your phone number? Yeah, definitely. Have you ever heard a guy come up to you like that before? No, never. That was pretty good. So once again, guys, I don't think she would text me back even if I did text her. Why? It's because I don't know anything about her. She doesn't feel like she had to work for me. She doesn't feel like she had to win me over. She just sat there giggling at my jokes and then put her phone number in my phone.

20:14 And by the way, when she did that, I said, I promise to text you 500 times in a row until your cell phone overheats and burns a hole in your purse. And then she laughed again. So it's like, I had that hole opener. I showed some frame. Honestly, I kind of botched it, but whatever. I actually wasn't warmed up. Like the exact thing I'm telling you guys to do here, I just went in completely cold. So, you know, that's what I'm saying is when you get warmed up, it's going to come off a lot better.

20:39 And even though I've made her laugh a couple of times, once again, I've given it like a 30% chance that she texts me back. Once again, I just wanted to experiment with this and show you what's possible when you have a good frame, right? So for you guys to go do that, if you're not feeling like really confident, you might not be able to pull that off. But once again, dude, I've had thousands and thousands and thousands of reps. I'm like in the batting cages, swinging that bat all the time.

21:04 So it's not because I'm better than you or like better looking or, Oh, Mark Singh is, he just, is just so much better looking at me. No, I'm actually kind of ugly. If you see me in real life, dude, you'd be like, Whoa, dude does not look as good as he did in this picture. And even my picture, meh, not that great. So dude, don't like attribute it to that shit. It's all about frame. It's all about frame. And here's the cool thing. You can build your frame.

21:32 How do you build your frame? Don't make me elbow you in the jaw. That's right, dude. You just do reps. So that's your homework. My friend is open and eject, open and eject, get the reps in, get your frame down, get comfortable talking to girls. Cause like I've spoken about so many times on this podcast, your comfort and not caring about what happens is going to determine the outcome of the interaction. All right. Lastly, I want to say again, that I'm going to follow up with more episodes around this whole idea of opening.

22:01 I'm going to drop you guys some opening lines, some techniques, the typical openers that I do, which I think you'll find interesting, some body language essentials and things like that. Mix those into my other coaching episodes that are going to come out. But like I said, man, if you want to cut to the chase, hit me up coach, Mark sing.com. Or if you want to get the approach formula, go to get the approach formula.com. All right, guys, thank you so much for listening and I'll see you in the next podcast.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.