How to Stop Feeling Like You're Bothering Girls When You Approach Them

0:00 We've had a string of bad men coming through town, blatant intoxication, refusal to surrender their firearms, and public copulation with prostitutes. People of Fort Collins, Colorado, I want you to vote, and I want you to vote right now. Mark Sing for Sheriff, now. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you.

0:43 I was inspired by that because Marissa and I sponsor a bunch of kids, right? Like we're on Child International or Hunger International or some shit. And we sponsor all these kids and we have them all up on our refrigerator, right? So every couple months, we get new pictures of these kids. And bro, this made my day. One of Marissa's kids, I think he's from Zambia. His name is Frederick. Sends us a picture and he's wearing a shirt from the United States, right? Because they get like donations from the United States.

1:11 And I swear to God, it says, Rod Dickus for Sheriff. Bro, I got so much capital out of that one, man. That shit makes me laugh. Every time I get to open the refrigerator and I see this little kid wearing a shirt that says, Rod Dickus for Sheriff. Oh my God, that made my day. So that inspired that little intro there. But today, we're going to talk about why you feel afraid. You feel bothersome to approach girls, right? You feel like you're selling them something. You feel like you're inconveniencing them in some way.

1:45 You just don't feel good about it. And you usually make excuses as to why not to approach her. So maybe you'll tell yourself, ah, she probably has a boyfriend. She's too good for me. She doesn't look interested. You guys and myself included, at least myself in the past, are experts at making excuses as to why not to approach a girl. But I'm going to help you make an excuse as to why to approach her and why it's literally your duty as a masculine man to approach these women, to let them know that, yes, you are attracted to them, and to be unapologetic about it.

2:17 A lot of you feel really guilty about your sexuality. You feel it's wrong. You feel shameful to show a woman that you're sexually interested in her. Have you ever examined that? Like, why do you feel that way? Is that your belief system or somebody else's bullshit? Is it perhaps your parents? I know for a lot of you guys, you come from religious upbringings, and that could really, really put that guilt on feeling sexuality for a woman, including masturbation, including any sexuality. And that also includes just approaching a girl because you're basically telegraphing sexual interest.

2:50 And if you don't feel secure in your sexuality, then you're going to feel shame around it. You're going to feel like you're taking something from her. So today we're going to reframe that. And this is the way I reframe it to all my clients. And honestly, guys, like what I'm about to tell you has been my legit experience with it. And I've opened literally tens of thousands of chicks. It's like, it's all I did for pretty much 15 years. I was obsessed with it because it's extremely entertaining to me and I got addicted to it.

3:16 So I want you to get addicted to it too. Addicted in air quotes, of course. I want you to get really into it and to feel good about it and to enjoy it and to know that you're actually giving this other human being something valuable, something valuable, which we're going to speak about today. Before I jump into the content, I want to read yet another quick testimonial. Let me flex up, bro. Don't roll your eyes. Don't freaking jump ahead. Let me flex up a little bit.

3:39 This is how I support my family is by getting guys into my three-month coaching program that turns guys who are afraid to approach girls into bonafide girl magnets who are approach machines, giving value everywhere they go and just brightening this world. You're a light onto the darkness. And once people come into this program and graduate from it, bro, I'm batting a thousand percent, dude. I'm fucking crushing it. All my dudes are getting results and I just keep getting these testimonials. So I got to keep up with them.

4:09 Let's go ahead and read this real quick and then we'll jump into the content. This is from a client who we're going to refer to as M because he doesn't want his name put out there. It's a real short one. Here we go. Hello, Mark. I'd like to thank you again for the amazing 12 weeks. It's the best 12 weeks of my life and hiring you as a coach was the best decision I have ever made. Not bullshitting this, boys. It's sitting right here in front of me.

4:33 Landed in my inbox 19 hours ago after homeboy graduated. I appreciate you, Em. He also said, I learned a lot and I'm still learning. I can see how much I changed. You're so kind and generous. Blah, blah, blah, fucking blah. Anyway, Em, I really do appreciate that, man. As I said to you, you did the work, bro. I just gave you the path up the mountain the easiest way and perhaps I gave you a couple crampons. Perhaps I gave you a couple bottles of water, a smack on the ass, told you you're a legend and then you climbed that mountain with the tools, resources, and shortcuts that I gave you.

5:05 So congratulations to you and I do appreciate that you're saying it's the best decision you've ever made. Personally, I think every guy who comes in, it's the best decision you'll ever make, bro. So why aren't you signing up with me even just to get a free one-on-one breakthrough session? I want to meet you, but let's go ahead and jump into the content and if after you think that I've got the juice to teach you how to get unbelievably successful with women, hit me up and you and I will meet on a free one-on-one breakthrough session.

5:32 All right, so the big problem with a lot of you guys and why you fear approaching women is because maybe you think that you're in the taker mentality. Now, there are a lot of takers out there, but have you ever thought that you could be a giver when it comes to women? Now, I've spoken about this many times, but it bears repeating because this is probably the most important part of approaching girls, which is to be what I call a go-giver. Go give her good energy, give her a good conversation, make her laugh, maybe even toss a little compliment in there for the very first approach to make her feel good.

6:10 Okay, so rather than going up and thinking to yourself, I want to take this girl's number, I want to take her on a date, I want her to be my girlfriend, you need to reframe it in the way that, listen, I don't know this chick from Adam, right? Like, I don't know if she's got a great personality, I don't know if she's fun to be with, like, why do I want to take her on a date? And it makes me laugh when guys say, hey, bro, how do I go get that girl's phone number?

6:32 And I'm like, well, do you know her? Like, what do you know about her? They're like, nothing, look at her, she's hot. I'm like, why do you want her phone number? See, we're getting into the mentality of, we see a hot girl and we just want to get her phone number, get her sex, take off her underwear, get into her pants, right? That's the way a lot of guys think. Instead, they should think, I want to go give her some good energy, give her a good conversation, make her feel good.

6:56 And by the way, that's not with like compliments and kissing your ass, it's making her feel good with your energy. And I want to see if she makes the cut. Okay, so it's a completely different shift in perspective. And when you go in with this shift of perspective, you're not trying to get anything from her. Therefore, there's nothing to fear. And really, there's no rejection. Because look, we're not going up and hitting on chicks. That's not what we do. Instead, what we do is we go up and we give what we call value.

7:24 Value is simply something that makes her feel better than before she met you. And that's also the definition of charisma. Charisma is leaving people better from having met you. That's it, okay? So we're going up. We're dropping those charisma bombs. We're being funny. We're being entertaining. We're making her laugh. Then when she gets attracted to us, we can quote unquote pretend that we're getting attracted to her. Okay, so the first and most important thing, and those of you who have been through my program, I hope you can literally mouth along with what I'm about to say because I say this so often.

8:00 First and foremost is we have to give her good energy. Okay, it all comes from inside your energy field. Now, when I say good energy, I'm not meaning be a spaz, be clown mode, be that big blow up balloon thing with arms on it that you see outside of you's car lots. Okay, like, I'm a spazzy guy. That is not the right energy. It's simply feeling good. Simply feeling good. Like I can be super chill as I kind of am right now. I'm just chilling, just speaking to you like you're my boy and we're in the car right now and we're just chatting.

8:30 I can be super chill and still feel good. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that a lot of you guys can feel my energy through this podcast and that's why I have such a big following. Yeah, the content's good. Sometimes I say some funny shit, but it's my energy and people write me all the time. They're like, dude, I love your energy. I love your positivity. You brighten up my day. I can just listen and listen and listen. And really, my voice is kind of annoying, right?

8:53 If you really break it down. The shit that I'm saying isn't like that great. Like other people say, eh, somewhat similar things. My jokes are somewhat decent, but even a lot of people tell me they're cheesy. It's my energy. It's my vibe. It's my bearing. It's who I am. And I'm putting it into this. And even over a podcast, you listening to this on your phone, you can feel it from me. So just imagine what can be felt in person when energies are colliding with one another and the energy from her spirit is getting to touch the energy from your spirit.

9:25 And she's detecting just via that how it makes her feel. Have you guys ever met somebody who just had a bad vibe? They're just really negative. They just feel like they're low vibrating. And bro, like you can feel it from a long way away. You can just sense the dude from like 50 feet away. Like, oh, I want nothing to do with that guy. In fact, you may have seen a guy at the supermarket or more likely a gas station and you actually avoided him. You walked the other way around the pump or you tried not to make eye contact with him.

9:56 And it wasn't because he had tattoos on his face. It was because he had a bad vibe. And by the way, I'm not saying everybody with tattoos on their face has a bad vibe. In fact, who's that guy, Post Malone or whatever? That dude seems to have a very good vibe to me. I don't know much about him. I don't listen to his music, but like I saw him dancing on stage the other day and I'm like, this dude seems cool. He has a good energy.

10:16 And I think that's why he attracts people. Okay, so tattoos on the face. You're all good, bro. I like tattoos. Meh, maybe not on my eyeball, but tattoos in general, fucking good to go. But here's my point is the girl is going to sense your energy before you even approach. So your job, and I want you to listen very carefully, is to feel 5, 10, 15, 20% better than she does. So all this requires is you simply choosing to feel better. I know this seems totally outlandish. To some of you, it may seem airy-fairy, but let me ask you a question.

10:50 Can you right now, along with me, let's do this together. Close your eyes. Yes, close your eyes. Even if you're driving, bro, close your eyes. You're flying a jet, close the eyes. Motorcycle, definitely close eyes. I'm just kidding. Just messing around. But if you can, if you're in that situation, close your eyes and choose right now to feel 5% better. Okay, we're going to do it over five seconds. Ready? Close your eyes. Five, four, three, two, one. I feel 5% better. In fact, I'd say I feel 10% better.

11:19 How about you? How do we do that? Because as human beings, we can have conscious control over our energy fields. Just like your breathing is both voluntary and involuntary, depending on your choice, it's one of the things that you can control either consciously or unconsciously. It's going to happen if you don't want it to happen, but it can also happen at your own pace if you want it to happen. It's the same thing with your energy field. Okay, your vibration is dictated off of how much sleep you got, how good of a day you're having, your positive and or negative thoughts.

11:51 A lot of different things combined to make your energy field that people pick up on. But you can consciously take a minute as we just did, or even five seconds as we just did, and just up your energy field a little bit. Now that begs the question, how do I know how she's feeling? You can tell. That's another power we have as human beings. You can simply listen to my voice right now and be like, okay, Mark Singh is probably homing along at like a 89%. He's feeling pretty good.

12:16 Maybe he's not 100%, but he's definitely not 60%. He's doing pretty good. That's the same thing we can do, especially when you look at somebody. Like I can look at a girl and be like, all right, dude, her battery is like 73% right now. So I'm going to be 80. And how do you be 80? I just told you, you simply choose. Okay, so that alone, boys, is going to make your open so much better. A lot of guys who continuously get rejected by girls, I hate to say it, but they simply have a bad vibe.

12:46 And once again, what is a bad vibe derived of? Your negative thoughts, your woes me attitude, poor diet, lack of exercise, lack of sleep, just being a Debbie Downer, that creates really, really bad energies. And again, it's that dude at the gas station. You're just like, man, I want nothing to do with this dude, right? He's just like low vibrating. How do you think girls feel? Well, I'll tell you this. Some girls who are also low vibrating may be attracted to that, which is why some of those guys do get girlfriends.

13:16 But obviously, we want high quality girls who are positive and who aren't going to throw a Molotov cocktail into our garage if we accidentally piss them off over Facebook or something, right? We want high quality girls. So the next time you see a girl, before you approach her, just simply choose to feel slightly better than she does. And once again, I have to reiterate, it's not a spazzy energy. You're not going into what I call clown mode that could actually be detrimental to your success. No, you're simply feeling good.

13:45 All right, so we got the energy thing. You guys understand it. Every single time you approach a girl, as you're walking up, just be like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Like just up in that energy level. Like you're a pinball machine starting up in the morning, dude. Like you're just getting that energy flowing. Don't need to be spazzy. Just feel good. And that's going to be reflecting in your energy that I believe she feels before she even sees you. She can sense it coming. She senses it from you.

14:10 And you know, like some people, you meet them, you're like, dude, this is a good dude. I just like this guy. And other people, you're like, I just do not want to be around this person. And I'll tell you, like 90% of it's just their thought patterns, just how they think. Really negative people, bad vibes, really positive, or I should say growth-oriented people like you and me. Good vibes, bro. Good vibrations, just like the Beach Boys song. You want those good, good, good, good vibrations. Okay, so as you approach her, you're feeling good.

14:40 And then you say you're opening line. And now here's the next thing I want you to think about. If I gave you 20 bucks and told you to go give it to some stranger, would you feel like you were disturbing them, inconveniencing them, or making their life worse in any way whatsoever? Obviously not. Okay, women are always seeking state outside themselves. Really listen to that. Women are always seeking state, S-T-A-T-E, outside themselves, which means she's looking for outside stimuli to make her feel good. This is why women love puppy dogs, ice cream, literatica, soap operas, and anything that feels fluffy, soft, and makes her feel good.

15:17 So when you go up feeling good, she's going to want to talk to you. It's the equivalent of giving her $20. So immediately, that should rationalize you out of your stupid approach anxiety because women are always looking for state. 60% of women want to be approached. The other 39% are open to it. And when I say open to it is they're usually super cool about it. The other 1% have a stick up their ass and they don't want to be approached. And who cares? Their life sucks anyway. You don't want them in your life.

15:47 She's just going to drag you down with her negative energy. Okay, so with those stats in mind, we understand that women are always seeking state. 60% want to be approached. The other 39% are open to it. They want to feel better. They want to be brought up and they love, let me tell you this, they absolutely love it when a guy comes up with good energy. The problem is that most guys want to take something. They usually want to take her phone number, take her on a date, take off her underwear, take her sex.

16:15 Okay, so that taking mentality actually lowers your vibration because it's a selfish, egoic, vibrating consciousness that actually lowers your vibe. And this is why many women are creeped out by dudes. It's because those dudes go in with the wrong approach. But guys who are charismatic, guys who feel good, guys who are not trying to literally take anything from her in the beginning, almost always have a successful approach. Okay, don't get rejected. Even me, man, when I get rejected, it's so rarely malicious. Like the girls are so rarely mean to me.

16:47 Occasionally they are, but that's the 1% out of 100 girls. Like one out of 100 girls and actually, now that I think about it, that is about damn right, will be malicious. And then what do I say to myself? I'm like, dude, you're a loser anyway. Your fucking life sucks, so fuck you, right? If they're like malicious to me, like get the fuck out of here, loser. I don't want to talk to you. I'll be like, dude, you got the dragon breath anyway, bro. Halitosis. I didn't want to talk to you anyway.

17:11 Beat it, you sea donkey. If they're malicious to me, I'll throw it back at them. Sometimes. Sometimes I'll just be like, whatever, hope your life gets better, right? But you guys are like so focused on that 1% of chicks who are going to be malicious to you and you're forgetting about the 99% who are going to give you a big, wide, feminine smile when you approach with good energy and you have good intentions simply to get to know her. Okay, now, you've just walked up to this person and gave them 20 bucks.

17:40 Here's another thing I'm going to tell you. Every 30 seconds, you're going to give them another 20 bucks. And why is that? Because you're continuing to give value. Now, obviously, this is a 20-minute podcast and I'm looking at my time and I'm already arriving to that 20-minute timestamp so I don't have the time in this episode to tell you everything you should talk about. But make no mistake, I've definitely, definitely have talked about that ad nauseum in other episodes. But as you're continuing to speak to her, you're continuing to give her $20 like every 30 seconds and that's how I want you to think of it.

18:14 When I go up to a girl, do you think I'm like, oh, I'm going to take something from her? I should be ashamed of this. Like, I don't want to bother her. I don't want to be a salesman. Hell no, bro. I'm like, dude, this chick is so lucky. She's about to talk to Mark Singh and that's the way I think of it and it doesn't have to be just because I have a podcast, I'm a dating coach, I know how to make chicks laugh. No, bro.

18:35 She could be so stoked to talk to you simply because you're a legend who's working on himself, who has good energy and who probably has good intentions. Most of you guys, the vast majority, if you're still listening, aren't malicious dudes. You're not just trying to like rape this chick or take her sex and fuck her and leave her. I mean, some of you guys are, but very, very few. Most of you guys are good dudes with a good head on your shoulders who have a good heart.

19:02 And by the way, I know you have a good head on your shoulders because most people who listen to podcasts are of upper intelligence. I don't know if you knew that, but the IQ is on average much higher for podcast listeners like you, bro, Tendo. So give yourself more credit that this chick is lucky to talk to you. Go give her good energy. Go give her good conversation. Make her laugh. Be in there not to try to take anything from her, but to give her something.

19:29 When's the last time you thought about that? Like, let me go into this interaction and give. I just want to give, give, give. I don't even want to take anything. And as I always say, you guys give so much credit to hot chicks when you talk to them and it's like, oh my hell, this is the most boring person I've ever met. Now, that's not true for all hot chicks. Obviously, there's some good ones, but why are we making them win the battle just because they look good?

19:51 I talked to this girl the other night. It was like, she had a dude voice. She's like, what's up, man? Yeah, bro. So anyway, and this chick was a goddess, dude, like super hot. And I was like, oh my hell, your voice is like weird, dude. And she had a bad energy field. And I was like, I'm out like sauerkraut. I'm off like a prom dress. This chick isn't making the cut. Okay. And that's the way I want you to think of it. So let's go over everything.

20:13 First of all, you have good energy. How do I know what her energy is? I can just feel it. And I choose to feel 5, 10, 15% better, 25% better. As I'm going up, I think to myself, this chick is lucky to talk to me. It's the equivalent of giving her a $20 bill. Why? Because 60% of women want to be approached. The other 39% are open to it. And every single woman wants state from outside herself. So what you're doing is you're giving her exactly what she wants. You're giving her state.

20:43 States are contagious, especially with women. They want to receive the masculine energy. They need it. They're thirsting for it. They need you to go give that to her. And you're not doing it in a creepy way, a taker way. So this is especially the nectar that she is desperately hoping to get that so few guys give her. Right? You're the possessor of that nectar, the nectar of the gods. And the other dudes are just takers. So when's the last time this girl has had a champion like you give her this kind of energy?

21:13 Maybe never. We don't know. But I'll tell you, man, just wait. For those of you who haven't opened many girls or for those of you who are struggling, once you get this energy thing down, it's going to blow open sets. And you listen to this because you're like, well, maybe he's going to tell me what to say. It doesn't matter what you say. Now, naturally, in my coaching program, I tell my boys what to say. But what's most important is how you say it. And what's more important than that is the underlying energy.

21:40 Here's my final tip. And this goes on the energy thing. Try this the next time you're about to approach a girl. Feel your heart. Feel your heart. Let's do it right now together. All right? We're just going to focus on our chest area and we're simply just going to feel inside our body cavity. There you go. And you can kind of feel your heart. Not with your hand. Not with your eyes. Not even trying to listen to it. All you're doing is just feeling it. Just knowing it's there.

22:08 And even if you can't really feel it, it's there. And you acknowledging it being there is letting you feel it. And I swear on all things holy girls pick up on it. In fact, this is something I do while I'm listening. And I should actually drop a podcast soon about how to listen effectively. I just simply sit there feeling my heart. Try this next time. Next time a girl's talking, just stare into her eyes and just feel your heart as much as you can. And she's going to stop maybe.

22:37 And she'll be like, what are you doing? As I've had many girls do. Or if that doesn't happen, she doesn't pick up on it. She's going to feel really good because we are spiritual beings. We have energy inside of us and all of our energy is mixing together. This is why you can feel a dude's bad vibe from across the room. It's not how he looks. It's not that poker card tattooed onto his right cheek. It's simply his vibration. So when we have that good vibration, when we feel our heart, when we feel good coming up to her, that's what blows open sets.

23:11 And you have to remember, brother, you are giving her something valuable. You are not taking anything. And with that, your approach anxiety should be significantly reduced. Gentlemen, I do appreciate your listening. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one. I got an awesome one coming up on Thursday about why you need to lighten the fuck up. God, you take yourself too seriously, bro. You need to lighten the hell up. Enjoy this ride. And we are going to talk about that on Thursday.

23:40 And make no mistake, it works into this one. So if you enjoyed this one, tune in for that one. One more thing. I am giving that free one-on-one breakthrough session where you and I get on a free call together and talk about your issues with women and whether or not I think I can help you with my custom three-month NLP-based dating program that is so damn effective, man. My guys are just crushing it. And this is one of the big concepts is be a go-giver. Go give her good energy and she will feel good for the rest of the day because of you, you goddamn legend.

24:15 Thank you again for listening and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.