How to tell if a girl likes you

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. Before you open a girl, it's important to know how attracted she either is or is not to you so that you can calibrate your initial opening to accommodate for her initial level of attraction. For you. How to read a woman's interest, up next. Here at the Unapologetic Man Podcast, we are thankful for you. That's right, you are listeners. It's because of you that we're able to do what we love, so please tell us how we're doing.

0:43 Give us some feedback. If you could clack five stars on iTunes, anywhere else, we would appreciate it. You can also reach out to me directly at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com if you have any thoughts, questions, concerns about the podcast or my coaching. And speaking of that, I do offer NLP coaching. NLP is Neuro Linguistic Programming. What I specialize at doing is going into the heads of guys like you and removing some of the negative meta programs that make it difficult for you to approach women, to feel like you're worthy in a relationship, to feel like you have a lot to offer a girl.

1:16 So if you feel like you have one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake, that may be just the solution for you. Imagine me working on you specifically with all my tools, tricks, and knowledge to get rid of that bullshit inside your head so that you can fly like an arrow towards your goals, which is obviously to meet women. Also, if you want to check out my approach program that teaches you how to approach a woman, engage her in conversation, and walk away with her phone number, you can get that at gettheapproachformula.com.

1:43 Once again, that's gettheapproachformula.com. And I think I forgot to mention my coaching link, which is coachmarksing.com. Coach, M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G dot com. All right, guys, without further ado, let's jump into the content. When going out to nightclubs and such, it's important for you to know who's initially attracted to you, who's kind of checking you out. And frankly, it's good to know that also in day game. Although in the nightclubs, it is a little bit more obvious. Girls will give more apparent green lights than they will in day game.

2:16 Usually in day game, you catch the girls a little bit more off guard. But in night game, it's more assumed that people will be opening each other. So girls will be a lot more forthright with how much they let you win. And winning is when you catch a girl checking you out. So we all know the obvious signs, the obvious ones. There's less obvious ones, which I'm going to talk about today. But the obvious signs are obviously like she's looking at you. She's giving you the green light.

2:41 She wants you to come talk to her. So one thing that I often look for is slightly dilated pupils. When a girl is checking me out from across the room, even from that far away, you know, we've evolved over hundreds of thousands of years to be able to tell how somebody's feeling via their eye contact. That's why oftentimes you can just kind of intrinsically know if somebody's lying to you. But you can also tell if somebody's attracted to you. And what happens is there's a slight dilation in the pupils and even the eye just opens up slightly.

3:12 So oftentimes when I'm walking and I'm doing day game, I'll let the girl look at me. And when she looks up and first sees me, I can tell pretty, pretty consistently whether or not she's kind of attracted to me, whether or not I may be her type, just by the way her eyes kind of just, just open slightly. And if you pay attention to yourself, you'll even feel that unconscious reaction when you see a cute girl. Like if you're walking through the supermarket and you turn the corner and suddenly there's a hottie there, you're going to notice it's going to kind of shock you a little bit and your eyes are going to unconsciously open.

3:47 It's literally an unconscious, uncontrollable reaction. So look for your effect on women in the club. It's really, really important. Okay. Another thing girls will do when they're attracted to you is they will edge closer to you. And oftentimes what they'll do is they'll put their back to you. So when you're really killing it in the club, when you got lots of pre-selection going on, when you got lots of girls around you already, you'll notice that groups of girls will just start gravitating towards you. And what they'll do is they'll put their back to you.

4:14 So typically the girl who's interested in you will have her back to you. And it's funny because they'll move closer and closer and closer. And sometimes, particularly in busy clubs, they'll get so close where it's like they're almost literally touching you. Like you could just reach out three inches and touch her. And she's edged from literally across the bar. When you're really having good social proof in the club, when you have pre-selection, when you're crushing it, these kinds of things will happen. What is she hoping that happens?

4:42 She's hoping that you accidentally bump her and then you guys get into a conversation. Now, one of the openers that I do when girls do this to me, and I think she's cute. And it's like so freaking obvious that she's attracted to me. I'll tap her on the shoulder. She'll turn around. And it's funny because when you tap them on the shoulder, it's like they turn around so fast, like they're just right there. And you're like, whoa, whoa, take it easy. So I'll tap them on the shoulder and they'll turn around.

5:05 I'll be like, hey, I just have to let you know. You are so unbelievably in my way. Would you mind stepping aside, please? And usually they just crack up laughing. Obviously, she thought I was going to tell her she's so unbelievably gorgeous. But then you say in my way and it just makes them explode with happiness. So I'll often do that when they do come and put their back to me. Now, something important to remember, guys, is that you will often do the same thing. When you're attracted to a woman, your natural inclination is to go stand by her and put your back to her.

5:40 Why? Because you're hoping the same thing happens. You're hoping you guys accidentally bump each other. She spills a drink. She asks you a question, whatever it may be. But it's usually not going to happen. So what you need to do is instead of doing that, just go open her. The more you stand there with your back to her, in my opinion, the more she's losing attraction for you because it's kind of like a feminine thing to do, to wait for something to happen, to wait to be approached.

6:07 Approaching women, talking to women is the masculine role. It's not the woman's role to come talk to you. This whole movement of men wanting women to come approach them is really, really feminine, and it's really, really bad for men. No, no, no. Your job is to approach the girl. So when you get the green light, you got to go do it. Okay, now let's say you're chopping it up with your friends or you're talking to a cute girl and you notice that another girl is checking you out.

6:33 And by the way, pre-selection, which I'm going to do a podcast on, means that women want you when other women want you. So when you come into a club with several girls, which I strongly suggest, then other girls are going to want you more. When you're talking to girls in the club and it's going well, other girls are going to want you more. So typically what happens is I'll be talking to a girl and as she's talking, I'll kind of be looking over her shoulder and I'll see lots of different girls looking at me.

7:01 And in my head, I'm going to make an assessment of, okay, that blonde over there is attracted to me, that brunette wants to talk to me, and those are going to be my next opens after I'm done with this girl. So what they'll do is, and they often get really mad too, they get really jealous of each other because, you know, nothing pisses a girl off more than feeling like she's hotter than another girl and you giving the other girl more attention. So it's actually a good game to play to get girls checking you out.

7:28 Okay, so oftentimes they'll look at you, right? They'll keep looking over her shoulder and staring. Some girls will just be real blatant about it. Like they'll just fucking stand there facing you with their toes pointed to you, just staring at you. Like, fuck her, why are you talking to her? You should talk to me. I've even had girls come and like amog the other girl, right? Like alpha male of the group and try to blow her out. So that's when it happens when you're talking to one girl and then you get another girl like dancing on your leg or you get another girl who taps you on the shoulder.

8:00 And sometimes, logistically speaking, it creates a challenge not to like piss each girl off because you want to keep, you know, good tidings in the club. And, dude, like sometimes there's even girl fights. So the pre-selection is huge. Girls are going to give you the green light. Obviously, another thing is playing with their hair. They're attracted to you. You know, this is more like when you're speaking to them, laughing at your jokes, leaning in, biting their lip, licking their lips, looking at your lips, touching you, getting closer, not backing away when you invade her personal space, which is a tactic that we'll often use to see whether or not a girl is attracted to us.

8:44 If you touch her hand or grab her hand for a gambit, like to try to show her something, she won't like pull it away. So really, these should be really obvious, but I'll teach guys in field and I'll watch them and I'll be like, bro, she was attracted to you. He's like, really? How could you tell? I'm like, because she's leaning in. She's laughing. She's standing there waiting for the conversation to continue. She's attracted. So if you guys don't get this naturally, if it doesn't come naturally to you, then take notes on this, right?

9:14 It's proximity is really important. And like I've said in previous podcasts, when speaking to women and they're really attracted to you, they will fucking put their goddamn crotch on your crotch. Like they'll lean on you. Some girls, and you can tell by the way too, who's more sexual than others because personal space is a real good barometer as to how willing this girl is to get sexual and how quickly she is. But as a general rule of thumb, it typically takes most girls 8 to 12 hours of time with you before she's going to have sex.

9:48 That's part of the reason that on the first date, I suggest going to many different places. It's because it feels to her like she's actually spent more time with you. So it's in that way that you can seriously decrease the number of hours that she needs to spend with you before she'll have sex. But every girl has a different setting when it comes to that. And oftentimes when a girl is really forward with me, she's leaning in. She's getting sexual. She's putting her crotch on mine, which I know it sounds weird, but when you get out there, you'll experience this.

10:20 Touching me, wanting to be touched by me, insinuating that we should kiss. Girls will say, God, I've never wanted to kiss a guy so bad in my life. As I've discussed in previous podcasts, you probably don't want to make out with chicks in the bar because it kind of pisses shits where you sleep, I should say. So signs of interest. So it's really important for you to have at least a basic theory about how much she's attracted to you. Now, if it's a girl that you don't even know if she's looked at you yet, then you're going to want to assume that she knows nothing about you and you're going to start from scratch.

10:56 Now, what do I mean start from scratch? Well, if a woman is already initially attracted to you, you kind of need to tweak your opener to adjust for her level of attraction. So what I mean is, if I'm killing it in the club and there's a girl totally jockeying me, like it's fucking so obvious she wants to talk to me, she's super attracted, she's jealous of the other girls, I can go up and start with what I call qualifying. Now, qualifying, in essence, means making her work for you.

11:25 I'm going to do an entire podcast episode about qualifying, but for now, suffice it to say that in the initial conversation, you first start with value, which means you give value, you give her good conversation to sink her teeth into. Then you do a little bit of sexual tension, and then at the end, you do what I call qualifying, which is making her work for you, making her jump through hoops, making her explain herself to you. Now, if I'm in the bar and I'm crushing it, and I'm getting all kinds of green lights from this blonde over here, I'm going to go up and potentially even start with qualifying, which is a question like, hey, I saw you from over there, who are you?

12:03 Okay, if I went up to a girl who wasn't attracted to me, and she didn't know about my social proof in the club, and I said, who are you, she may be like, I'm not going to tell you that, like, who are you, right? She's going to like flip it on you. But if she's already invested, if she's already attracted, if you've already shown pre-selection, and you're attracted in the alpha, and you're the champion in the club, then you can go up already qualifying, making her qualify herself to you.

12:30 So this is something really important to remember, that you assume she's attracted. You assume she's going to qualify herself to you. Now, I don't want to give away everything with qualifying right now, but once again, it's making her work for you. And the reason it works is because we value what we tend to work for. I've told you about this before, cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance means you like something more that you work for. So it's really important that when we talk to a girl in the first conversation, that we get that qualifying.

13:02 We get them to work for us. And I'll tell you, whenever a girl works for you, if you say to her, so what would your best friend say is the best thing about you? And she starts telling you, bro, she's definitely going to text you back. A lot of you guys struggle with girls not texting you back. It's because you're not doing these kinds of things. A, of all, you're not giving good value. B, of all, you're not qualifying. C, of all, you're not building sexual tension.

13:26 You're having a really surface-level conversation with this girl, so she's just not that attracted. It's not your fault. You don't know what you're doing. It's cool. That's why you're listening to this podcast. Don't beat yourself up about it. One thing, bro, it says nothing about you. It says absolutely nothing about you. It just says that you don't know the rules and you don't know the game yet. Who gives a shit? I don't know how to play cricket. You send me over to India in a cricket game, I'll fucking be the biggest jackass on the field.

13:50 Am I going to feel bad about it? No. I just don't know the rules. So remember, like with gaming girls, it has nothing to do with you. I'm uglier than I was 15 years ago, but I'm fucking 10 times as good with girls. Why? Because I understand the rules. There's also something to be said about working on your inner game and your confidence and all that stuff. But still, they're not tied together. Your self-worth doesn't have anything to do with how women react to you. Your self-worth comes from you.

14:18 So if you aren't getting these signs of attraction from girls, if you've never had a girl look at you from across the room, edge closer to you and put her back to you, want to talk to you, honestly, it's not your fault. And you can get there. You can get there like I did by getting uglier, but just getting better. Now, a big reason that I have success in the bars and the nightclubs is because I stack the chips in my favor. I use pre-selection. Pre-selection, once again, is having girls with me, either that I bring with me or that I know because I've laid roots and I've put seeds in the ground, in particular bars, where every time I go, there's going to be a handful of girls that know me.

14:59 Now, do I occasionally have to go to new cities and start from scratch? Yes, but I don't get the same success as quick as I do in my own city. I can still be successful. I still have to work my way up, but I'll have to start, you know, with the sevens and get them attracted to me, show pre-selection to the eights, go get the eights attracted to me, and then work up to the nines and the tens. But I'll tell you this, you cannot get a ten unless you have eights and nines in your life already.

15:26 I mean, very, very rare chance. Unless, of course, you communicate to her all the attractive qualities, which I talk about on this podcast. But pre-selection is a gigantic way to get women attracted to you who otherwise wouldn't be. Imagine a rock star, okay? I just watched, and you may want to watch it too, on Netflix. It's called Dirt, I think, and it's about Motley Crue. Well, look at those guys, dude. They look like skinny girls with long hair, but they got all the ass in the world.

15:57 Why? Because they had value. They had pre-selection. They were rock stars. So what you want to do is you want to bring that into the club somehow, okay? I have some awesome ideas for how to do it, most of which I have to say I do share with my coaching clients. All my exclusive content, my premium content, I do save for my coaching clients, although I do drop a lot of gold nuggets on this podcast. But I will say this, there are ways to stack the chips in your favor.

16:24 I always say this to my clients, and I say on the podcast, use that brain matter between your ears and figure out how can I stack the chips in my favor? What is stacking the chips in your favor? It's getting pre-selection, being the alpha, being the champion in the place that you are at, okay? If you go into a bar and stand in line, know nobody, and you're just like looking beta the whole time with bad body language, you're not going to have success. Now, that's an uphill battle starting at a new bar.

16:52 Like if you flew me into LA and had me stand in the nightclub line, it would take a lot of me dropping charisma and value and opening girls. And it would take me hours of hard work before I had any kind of social standing in the club. But here in my own city in Denver, the second I walk in is social standing, right? Because I got girls with me. I already know girls there. I'm just on fire immediately. And that's stacking the chips in your favor.

17:16 The American military is so successful is because we stack the chips in our favor. I always like to reference the bin Laden raid. We went in with night vision when he wasn't expecting us. We landed on the roof and in the courtyard. Although we actually didn't land on the roof because the helicopter had a problem and they crashed in the courtyard. But what I'm saying is the reason why we kicked the Taliban's ass, the reason why ISIS doesn't really exist anymore is because the American military seriously stacks the chips in their favor first.

17:44 And that's what I want you guys to do with women so that you're just doing your thing and you are getting these signs of attraction. You are getting girls looking at you, playing with their hair, flipping their eyes at you. Another thing they do is they'll walk by and they'll brush against you like they'll slap a boob on your elbow as they walk by. Literally, they'll do this. They'll walk by you on multiple occasions hoping that you're going to open them. If they're attracted to you, they're going to get in close proximity of you.

18:14 Like I said, they will just gravitate towards you. Now, when I'm in the situation where I'm just killing it, it's really funny because I go with my buddy who's also really good and it's just a fucking free for all. We just have girls, girls, girls all around us dancing in front of us. It's just on like Donkey Kong, right? Well, what happens is all the groups of girls kind of start coming towards us. And then what happens is all the beta cuck dudes like try to come in and talk to those girls and they like chase them all the way.

18:44 So then we move to a different point of the bar and then they all like gravitate in again and then the guys chase them away and it's kind of this really funny dynamic. So that's what I'm saying, dude, is that I'm not special, bro. I'm not super good looking. I'm not super ripped. I'm not super anything. I just happen to be able to speak well to women, know what they want to hear. I've just simply learned this shit and I've made it to the point where I can go in like a fucking rock star, like Motley Crue.

19:11 When I was watching that movie, I was like, oh, yeah, I kind of know what that's like. And I'm not even a rock star. I've just set it up so that I'm a rock star. So that, yeah, you know, probably 80 to 90 percent of the girls in the bar when I'm really killing it do have some level of attraction for me. Even if I'm not typically, quote unquote, their type, they're feeling attraction for me just because my value is so high, just because I'm crushing it so completely in that social space that they're feeling level of attraction for me.

19:39 Take that girl out of that environment. She never saw me the night before. Then I run into her like, let's say she's a 10. I run into her the next day at Target. Am I going to have the same success? By the way, for you out of country folks, Target is just like a big store where they have all kinds of stuff in it. I'm in Target and I see that same chick and I walk up. Will I have that same success? No, no, I won't. Now, if she gives me an opportunity to talk to her for a few minutes and show my frame, show my value, use all my cool tricks and techniques on her, I'm pretty confident I can get her attracted to me.

20:11 But it's not going to be that like dynamite in the pond level that I'm able to produce at some of the bars I'm at. So once again, how to get girls attracted to you is, first of all, stack the chips in your favor. Use that brain. Figure out what situation can I put myself in. Now, I'm going to do a podcast on this, but I want to give you guys a few hints. What kind of job, part-time job could you get where you could be in that situation?

20:41 Okay, wink, wink, wink. Bar. Think bar. This is something I did. Okay. Where do girls go? Where do the hot girls congregate? How can you put yourself in the alpha position? How can you be the dude, the man, the guy? Right? Is it worth it for you to get all kinds of girls? Or are you just going to kind of wing it? I think one of my podcast guests a couple episodes ago said it's the difference between hunting and farming. So with hunting, you get one.

21:10 But with farming, you cultivate and you produce an environment where you're getting lots and lots and lots. Well, that's what I do in the bars. So reading a woman's interest, it's pretty fucking obvious, dude. Like when you're in that alpha position, it's pretty obvious when they're attracted to you. And then we're going to talk about more in future podcast episodes how to approach a girl who's already attracted to you. But when you can stack all the chips in your favor, my bro, you're going to get all kinds of attraction from all kinds of different girls and then it's easy peasy.

21:43 So really, this podcast episode was supposed to be about reading your interest, but it kind of turned into creating a continuous stream of updating girls that are attracted to you and want to talk to you. So that when they're interested, it's like as obvious as the light is green on a stoplight from being red. It's so obvious. All right. So that's it for this episode, guys. I do appreciate you listening. If you have any questions or want to learn more about my coaching, go to coachmarksingh.com.

22:11 If you want to get the approach formula, go to gettheapproachformula.com. And I will see you in the next podcast.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.