INTERVIEW OF MY SUPER HOT FRIEND JESS

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me. If you've been listening for a long time, you know what to do. Smack yourself on the ass, you are a goddamn champion. If this is your first time listening, welcome. What I try to do is give the best information in the most succinct way possible about how to attract a high-quality woman.

0:37 And boy, oh boy, guys, I got one for you today. Her name is Jess. She is a friend of mine. Absolute stunner. In fact, the first time I saw her, when I saw her beauty, it hit me so hard, my fucking shirt blew off my back. But when she saw my beauty, it hit her so hard, the ponytail just blew right off her head. She's sitting over there cracking up right now. So I'm going to introduce Jess to you guys in a second. And what we're going to do is we're going to talk about kind of what a high-quality girl like Jess is attracted to, what she's not attracted to, some of the mistakes guys have made, what she's looking for, and kind of how often she gets hit on, the kind of things guys do when they do hit on her, et cetera.

1:17 So before I get into the content, I want to let you guys know that that free breakthrough session with me where you and I get on the phone together was booked out all the way to the end of July. So what I've done is I've opened up some new slots in my schedule. So you guys can jump in to learn more about that. Go to CoachMarkSingh.com, click on coaching, fill in the goddamn slap in the biscuit, and you and I will get on that one-on-one breakthrough session together.

1:46 All right, boys, let's go ahead and bring Jess into it. What is up, Jess? How are you doing? Hey, I'm good. How are you? Doing well, doing well. So we haven't really prepped that much for this, but the reason I asked you on today is because you're one of the few girlfriends that I have that doesn't know a lot about seduction. You know, I've thought about having some other friends on this podcast, and it's always like they already listen to my stuff. So they're going to kind of say what they know I want them to say.

2:11 But when you and I've talked about this, you're like, I had no idea this even existed. And you were pretty curious about it, how this stuff all works. And so you're kind of like the uncarved block. You haven't been tainted by the messages and all the skills and stuff like that. You're completely pure. And we want to get that kind of pure reaction from you. So if you feel like your answers are going to maybe hurt the feelings of some guys, like if you say, for example, yeah, looks matter to you, height matters to you, just say it.

2:43 Because what I'm going to do, and guys, I want you to listen to this. I'm going to follow up in a podcast after this interview and kind of explain some of the things that Jess and I discussed. Also, I want to let you guys know that Jess being an absolute stunner, she's what are you like 5'10", Jess? 5'6 1⁄2". Oh, damn. You wear some heels. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So absolute stunner, boys. She's tall, thin, blonde, and we are going to give you her Instagram at the end of this so you guys can check her out yourself.

3:09 DM her, use some of those skills. I want you guys just to blow up her DMs, just like 100 a day until her cell phone overheats and brings a whole new person. I'm talking to you, Jess. Don't DM her, boys, unless you're using some of the skills that I teach. But she's up here in Colorado. And the first time I saw her, yeah, I was definitely needed to make her a friend. So Jess, let's talk about some of your experiences with boys. So first of all, we were kind of talking about it a little bit before this podcast started.

3:40 You are single and you explained it's not because you're a bad kisser. Although I don't know about that. You do the helicopter tongue maneuver and just for some reason got no guys like it. Why are you single, Jess? Why is a beautiful girl like you single? Well, I really just haven't found that right person yet. And I think that I can be kind of picky sometimes as far as, well, really a lot of things. But yeah, I guess I just say I'm picky and yeah. So when you say you're picky, what exactly are you looking for in a guy?

4:16 I guess somebody that's not too eager to talk to me all the time. I think that's something that really kind of bothers me on the down low because I'm very busy with my job and everything. And I just don't have time to be talking all day. And I've had some people get really offended saying like, you left me on read or you don't talk to me all day. And I just can't do that. So I guess mostly just being too eager to be there. Too thirsty, right?

4:46 And that's something I teach all the time is when a guy meets a high quality woman, he just wants to be with her all the time. Because like I said the other day, you guys are like unicorns. So rare that they want to take all your time. They're thirsty. They're texting you all the time, following up, getting buttered easily. So obviously that's a turnoff. And I talk about that all the time. What kind of attributes do you look for such as physical looks as well as personality attributes that are attractive to you?

5:15 Well, as far as physical, because I am taller, I do like taller guys because it's... I mean, that's just how I am. But it's not totally out of the question if somebody like really seems right for me, then I would be willing to try. But that's really the only physical attribute that I'm like, oh, wow, he's cute. If he's tall. But as far as like personality and everything, I really like funny guys. I think everyone does if they're super funny, you know? Yeah, I guess just tall and funny.

5:54 What about confidence? Surely confidence is important to you? Oh, sure. Yeah. I think there's definitely a line for me of too confident where it makes me feel like I'm kind of competing, but maybe that's the point of it. So then I tend to kind of try a little bit harder when they're like, quote, too confident. How often is it that you... I hate to put a numerical value, but just so my guys can kind of visualize, we do this as a way to kind of communicate amongst ourselves.

6:25 This is what boys do. We give a numerical value like, oh, she's a nine, she's a 10. So forgive me for saying this if it offends you, but I would give you a very solid nine. And that's extremely rare. Like when I say nine boys, I'm saying you see a girl like this maybe once every couple months, depending on how often you go to clubs and nightclubs and stuff like that. So being it that obviously you're extremely attractive, guys are being affected by your attractiveness. When you go to the supermarket, you go to Starbucks, how often would you say that you meet a guy who can talk to you just like a fucking normal person and not become stifled and weird and awkward in front of you?

7:10 Not very often. I feel like typically whenever I'm approached out in the world, they're all very visibly nervous. And it really at the bar, I think is the most relaxed that people are whenever they come talk to me because, you know, the liquid courage. Yeah. Do you get approached in your day-to-day life, the supermarket, Starbucks, things like that? I do. Yeah. Okay. And what kind of things do they say? It's always stuff like, how are you today? Or just kind of bland, like, or even they'll just be like, you should smile more.

7:49 I get that one sometimes. So do I. So do I. You know what I do? I'm like, I'm like, give me something to smile about. That's what I say too. Yeah. You keep your face completely still and go, make me laugh. Tell me a joke. Girls do this to me all the time in the nightclubs. I'm just out like having a good time. They're like, you don't smile enough. I'm like, tell me a joke. Make me smile. That's what you should do, Jess. You should do that.

8:13 Steal it. That's what I always say. I'm like, I don't have anything to smile about. Yeah. I mean, I do, but they don't need to know that. Yeah. And you're not making me smile right now, brother. And that's the problem. It's so hard for me not to go like on a coaching tangent right now, Jess. I'm going to leave that for my next podcast. But one of the things I say is when you approach a girl, be a go-giver, right? Go give her good energy, make her smile, make her laugh.

8:36 Don't try to be a taker. Do you find that most of the time dudes are just trying to take something, take your number, take you on a date? Obviously take your sex. Cause we all know how guys think. Do you get that telegraphed very clearly when dudes talk to you? Yeah. Yeah. It is a very, just the vibe is very like, I want something from you. And then it immediately turns my vibe to, I don't want to give you anything. And it just doesn't work out for anybody.

9:05 Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. So when you do get that guy, right. And he pushes you for the phone number. Do you ever give out a fake number? Um, I've never done that. If I don't want to talk to somebody, then I'll say, why don't you put your number in my phone and I'll text you. And then I just don't ever save it. Yeah. Just delete that shit. Do you ever, um, a lot of my girlfriends, they will give her their number, but then they'll just block the dude when he texts.

9:35 Have you ever done that? No, I haven't done that. That's a good method. Yeah. If you need me to show you how to block guys on your iPhone, I've, I've done it many times for my friends. That's the way it is. Cause think about it guys. Like the reason why I say you should get certain signs of attraction before you go for the phone number is because when you ask a woman for a phone number, it's putting her into an uncomfortable situation. What is she going to say?

9:57 No, it takes a lot of balls and it's kind of a thing to say no to guys. So they're going to give you their number, but they're not going to reply back. And a lot of people who hire me, they're like, yeah, I can get lots of numbers brother, but I can't get them to text me back. I'm like, cause your numbers aren't quality. They don't want to talk to you. You're being forceful. You're being a taker essentially. So, you know, obviously like Jess just proved Jess, do you ever tell them to follow you on Instagram?

10:19 Cause you want more followers? No, not, I don't want, cause you can kind of feel the vibe about people and I don't want certain ones that follow me or that would want to follow me too. Cause I just don't want the like sketchiness of it. Yeah. You don't want that stalker Texas ranger, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I know, I know all about it. So, um, obviously you can block people too on Instagram. I have to do that myself. Even as a dating coach, it's pretty interesting, but even girls, you know, girls turn into stalkers too.

10:54 And God knows there's some stories. I actually have to do a podcast telling this to you, Jess, as well as to my audience about a girl who fucking threw a brick through my car window once. Yeah. Oh my God. Cause she was stalking me, found my car. Boom. Cause she saw me with a different girl. Pissed dude. So pissed. Yeah. Guys can, guys are crazy. Don't get me wrong, Jess, but girls, they take that shit to the next level when emotions are involved. So that's definitely there.

11:20 Okay, cool. So we understand that you get approached a lot. Can you remember a past approach where a guy did kind of do all the right things? Obviously don't talk about me. I mean, come on, that's, that's too obvious, but a guy who approached you and then actually did say some right things, did some right things. And what was the difference there? Well, one time I was at the bar and this guy just asked me like, Hey, I was standing up at the bar, going to get myself a drink.

11:48 And he was just like, Hey, what are you drinking? Totally casual. And I told him and he was like, well, let me get the next one. And then we just started talking about like regular things. And it was just like, what do you do for work? You know, all the just regular stuff. It wasn't him coming at me as like a, I have to buy you a drink right now. Like I need to get anything like that. He was just like chill. And that was really nice.

12:16 Yeah. Trying to get to know you for you. Is that right? Yeah. And he was very confident in, he was confident in his calmness. So he didn't have to be like a dick about it. He just was chill and he knew who he was. And yeah, it was nice. Yeah. And you see guys, you know, obviously I teach what to talk about, how to make her laugh. And we want to obviously bring content in, but just being a cool guy who isn't trying to take something from her that goes so far.

12:42 You guys have no idea how far that goes. And that's why I say initially just see her as a friend, just go up and have a conversation. Do you guys jive? Yeah, she's beautiful, but that's only one check mark off of like 10 boxes, right? So you're just trying to get to know her. You don't know you want to date her yet. You don't know you want her phone number, calm down a little bit and approach her in that way. Did he make you laugh though? Cause Jess, just so you know, for you, it's really important that guys make you laugh.

13:07 So if he didn't make you laugh, I'm not going to let you text him back. No, he did make me laugh. Okay, cool. All right. So, so what happened with this guy? Did he blow it later on? Did he get too needy? Um, no, that one actually. So I had a boyfriend at that time. And so we were just like talking and I think that's what the difference was. And so finally I was like, okay, anyways, so I actually do have a boyfriend. So you don't actually have to buy my drink, but it was nice talking to you.

13:33 And guys still buy you drinks. That's still pretty common. Um, yeah. Yeah. So just so you know, Jess, I, I don't suggest guys buy girls drinks. Cause to me it's thirsty. Just like what you were talking about. It's like, I have to buy your time. And to me, it kind of, it could potentially make her feel like, like, what am I? Like somebody whose time you can buy, like, Oh, you buy me a drink. Now I'm obligated to see her talking to you. I feel that as a man, you should have enough value in yourself and your conversation to keep her there, whether or not you buy her a drink.

14:04 Do you see the logic in that? Does that make sense to you? Yeah, no, that makes total sense. And if he had not led with, let me buy you a drink. I would have still talked to him for sure. So even if obviously you want a dude who's, who's tall ish preferably, but like you said earlier, and I want to say this, cause I have a lot of short clients. If he has confidence, if he's funny, if he has good charisma and he knows how to talk to you correctly, really the height can be overlooked.

14:31 Am I, am I right on that? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. What about like fat, bald peg leg nose that like looks like this. The guy is just hideous, but he's just got a great personality. Is there any way? I think that it would take time, but personally I'm open to a lot of things. So yeah. Yeah. So would you agree that looks don't matter to women as much as they do to men? I don't know. I think that in my specific friend group, I'm probably the least picky about looks.

15:06 Um, yeah, they just find these like super hot dudes all the time. And that's like so cool. But I find that when I get into that realm, they just can't make me laugh as much. So I tend to, I tend to go for a little bit more of like the dad bod thing going on. And, you know, I like a scruffy guy. So yeah, I don't need a, a tenner. Yeah. Yeah. Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay, cool. So we understand now kind of how your attraction works, how much you get hit on in a week.

15:37 How many times would you say you get approached? I'm like a regular week, probably once a week. Just once a week. Okay. Yeah. It's not a whole lot. Yeah. It's not a whole lot because I'm going to tell you straight up, you're probably intimidating to a lot of guys. Do you see a lot of guys like checking you out and then they don't approach you? Does that happen all the time? Yeah. Yeah. That's more so what happens. Yeah. So I think I kind of have RBF too.

16:00 So yeah, yeah. That doesn't help. Yeah. You had that RBF going on the first time I approached you. I was like, Oh my God, she's going to blow me out, bro. But you were cool. You were cool. You know, uh, you were easy to talk to and very personable. So that's obviously why I wanted you to come on the podcast. So guys check her out all the time boys and don't approach. And I know a lot of you guys are probably part of that demographic that does that because you feel she's too attractive for you.

16:28 You don't know what to say. And this is what happens. Jess is interesting in the mind of men. They'll see a pretty girl like yourself and be like, Oh my God, I would love to talk to her. I would love to take her out, but I don't know what to say. And I don't want to disturb her. I don't want to inconvenience her. So it's kind of good for you because that saves you from a lot of guys approaching you and taking your time. But at the same time, I get a lot of great clients who would probably meet all your criteria.

16:57 And unfortunately they're not approaching you because they're too scared. You get approached once a week. I have some friends who are, again, I hate to put the label on it, but it's an easier way to explain it. Our eights and even sevens, they get approached five times a day. So you've kind of rescued yourself from that reality by being prettier in a way, but unfortunately you probably don't get the opportunity. So that leads me to my next question. If you're attracted to a guy, what kind of things do you do to let him know that you want him to come talk to you?

17:34 Um, I guess it depends the situation. If I have alcohol in the situation, I'm more likely to go over there and I'll just do it. But, um, if that's not there, I'll just like look over at them and like hope that they look over at the same time and then do like a face or something or wave or something. Wait, wait, what, what, what does this mean? Do a face? What does that mean? I don't know. Just like smile or something. Do you do the old, the old hair flip?

18:01 Hi, I'm Jess. I have been known to do a hair flip once in a while. The little shoulder, the little shoulder jam. It's not quite that dramatic, but yes. Let's see. I got to see it. Cause we're on Zoom right now, boys. I want, let's see the shoulder. We'll sit out. Something like that, but you may be nervous. Girls always, you know what they do, Jess, which is really interesting. They'll come really close to you and put their back to you. I see this all the time in the nightclubs.

18:31 Because there's something called pre-selection and pre-selection is when you have beautiful women with you as a man, other women are attracted to you. So I have a lot of cute friends who I go to the clubs with and naturally the other girls are going to be attracted to me. They get really close, Jess, and they put their back to me. Like literally the girl standing right here, I'm like, come on. It's so obvious. Like her back is to me. I'm like, oh my hell, this is so damn obvious.

18:56 And I always have the same opener. I'll tell you what it is. I tap her on the shoulder. I'm like, hey, um, I just had to let you know, Jess, you are so unbelievably in my way. Would you mind moving aside, please? Dang. That's good. Yeah. It gets them every time. So when you see a dude you like, you kind of give them some green lights. Would you be open to being approached in the supermarket, at the gas station? Have you ever seen a hot guy and you're like, oh, let me do the shoulder hair flip and try to get him to come over?

19:28 Or are you just not in that mentality at that time? I'm usually not in that mindset at the gas station and at the grocery store. But I mean, if somebody came up to me, I wouldn't be rude and go away. But I would have a conversation with them. But it is more nerve wracking in situations like that. Yeah. When I'm alone. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever feel like when a dude approaches you, you fear for your safety? Yeah. Sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. So a good approach would probably give you some space.

19:57 Like his body language would kind of be offset where he's not like all up in your space, but instead gives you that COVID six feet maybe at first to let you know he's not a danger. Would that be advisable? Yeah. And I think like if I'm out walking alone by myself, like definitely don't come up at that point. Like if, I don't know, at the grocery store or something, just not in like a back section, I would feel more comfortable with that. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I teach my guys to sometimes give what we call a false time constraint, which is, hey, listen, I got to get out of here in a second.

20:37 But, or even when I can tell she's really put off by me, I'm like, I'm not trying to sell you anything. I'm not trying to mug you. La la la. And then I go on from there. Have you had guys just way too in your face and not giving you that space that you need in the beginning? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. And I would have appreciated a fake time constraint. Fake time constraint. Let me ask you this. So I teach this and I do this all the time, which is I'll go up to a girl and I'll be like, hey, listen, I got to get out of here in a second.

21:09 But I saw you standing over there and I thought you were absolutely gorgeous. I'd be kicking myself the rest of the day unless I came to meet you. What's up? I'm Mark. What's your name? Do you think that would be something good or do you get the EBGBs when you hear somebody do that? No, I think that would be nice. Yeah. That wouldn't be a scary approach towards me and that would be nice. Have you ever had a guy do that? Say, hey, I just had to talk to you.

21:36 You're absolutely beautiful. I'd be kicking myself the rest of the day unless I did. No. No, you never had that. Interesting. Not that I can recall. Yeah. My students and I do it pretty much all the time and it works so damn well because it's super flattering. It's super genuine. And even I'll tell my guys that if you're nervous, you can actually tell her you're nervous. Hey, I'm a little nervous right now, but I'd be kicking myself the rest of the day unless I did this.

21:56 I have to be honest with you. I think you're gorgeous. What's up? What's your name? And I've had girls just light up when my students have done that and it works really well because it's genuine, right? I'm not trying to necessarily take, take, take be Mr. Rico Suave. And have you noticed, Jess, that guys go into the old like Rico Suave. Hey, Jess, how are you doing there? I just want to let you know. The blonde hair framing your face so perfectly is just gorgeous, Jess.

22:20 Just gorgeous. Why don't you toss me your number and maybe we'll catch up some other time. And you're like, the fuck is this guy, dude? Like Rico Suave. That's more of the type that comes at me. Yeah, right, right. They're like super confident because you got to be confident to approach you, right? And unfortunately, sometimes with confidence comes this delusional belief in like their own pickup abilities. Like, oh yeah, I'm Casanova girl. You got to talk to me. So have you come up with anything where a guy has done that, has been like Mr.

22:54 Rico Suave Casanova trying to like, hey, do that whole thing? Yeah, I did have that happen. One particular time, we were out at a restaurant and I was there again, going up to the bar. And he just came up to me and he was, since you're using a scale, I'm going to use a scale too. He was a solid like three and a half. See, girls use scales too, boys. Girls use scales. And he kept like trying to talk to me and with the whole like, kind of voice.

23:25 And I was like, what is going on right now? Like, what are you doing? And I think that that was a solid example of he thought that if he put forth that confidence, then it would be totally fine. And I would just swoon. But I was like, you're being weird. Did you say that? Did you say that to him? No, I kept walking away. And finally, one of my friends was like, she's not interested. Like one of my guy friends came over and was like, she's not interested.

23:55 And he finally left. Do you find that you have to do that sometimes just be like, listen, you're sweet, but I have a boyfriend. I'm just not interested. Do you feel you have to take it to that level just to let the guys know that you're not interested? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, even if I don't have a boyfriend, I'll still use that excuse. Right. Yeah. Or I wear like a ring on my right hand. So I'll switch it over to my left hand and be like, sorry, I'm married.

24:27 Yeah, totally. A lot of my girlfriends do that. They'll just be like, I have a boyfriend, even when they don't, guys. So oftentimes the I have a boyfriend, whether it's true or not, if she does have a boyfriend, she's not interested. But if she says she has a boyfriend, she's not interested. So that's your cue to duck out and open the next girl. So I want to ask you real quick before we wrap this up, have you noticed that guys will have a certain tonality to their voice that is just kind of gross to you?

24:52 So what I teach in my coaching is that when the voice goes up at the end, it's supplication. Supplication means he's trying to get something from you, putting you on a pedestal above him. So, hey, Jess, how are you doing today? I was wondering, could I get your phone number? Right. And has that supplication. Have you been able to distinctly recognize that in guys? Or is it more just like a feeling you get from his general behavior that turns you off? Or do you really recognize like certain things, body language, tonality, or do you not even think about it?

25:30 Well, now that you mentioned that, I definitely have noticed the kind of high voice at the end. And it seems to come from like kind of bro guys, like brat guys and stuff like that. And it immediately, it makes me be like, no, I don't want to, I don't want to talk to you. And it's almost kind of condescending a little bit where it's like, you know, kind of looking down on me a little bit. It's funny because what you're saying, it made sense. And to be honest with you, I never thought of it that way, that actually supplicating comes off as condescension because it's talking to you like you're a kindergartner, right?

26:05 Like you're a little girl like, hey, how are you today? Right. And you're like, dude, what's with the voice, bro? What's with the like change in your personality? I can tell you're being inauthentic and that right there. So inauthentic is a turnoff. Is that true? Yeah, definitely. I think if you come at me more as like, hi, I'm nervous to talk to you versus like faking it so hard to seem like you're not nervous. I would prefer a nervous guy any, any day of the week.

26:33 I'm so nervous right now, Jess. God, I'm intimidated. So nervous. So I want to talk about real quick texting and then we'll go ahead and wrap this up. So when a guy gets your number, how would you prefer to be contacted? Always text. Always text. I teach my guys. Well, let me, let me ask you first before I tell you what I teach. When would you like to be texted? Let's say he gets your number on a Thursday at 3 p.m. When would you like to hear from him?

26:59 Like Friday or Saturday. Okay. So next day, that's what I teach. Next day at 6 p.m. is when I teach so that there's enough time for her to get off work. She's home. She is like you with her dogs, taking care of her dogs and just chilling. And she has enough time to have that conversation with the guy and make it stick. When guys typically text you, what kind of shit do they say? They'll just say like, Hey, it's blank from wherever I met them at.

27:25 And I'm like, Hey, that's it. They're just going to say, Hey, it's Mark from the parking lot. Hey, it's Mark. That creepy guy who approached you in the parking lot. Nothing else. So what I teach is to give her something that she can actually seek her teeth into, kind of like a ball that she can throw back to you, right? Ask a question at the end. So Jess, I don't think I did this to you, but I often accuse girls of being an ice cream man.

27:55 So you told me that you were studying in college. And a lot of the times what I say is, Oh, are you, you're studying to become an ice cream man? Are the courses hard? And then she cracks up. And then I all like joke with her a little bit. And what I may say, if I said that in the first conversation and the first text is, Hey, Hey Jess, I saw an ice cream truck going 120 miles per hour down the 25 freeway. I know you're late for the ice cream man convention in Denver, but relax, you're going to kill somebody.

28:22 And then she can have fun with that and throw it back. Do you feel like something with that kind of substance would be more effective to get you to text back rather than the, Hey, it's Mark from the parking lot. Oh yeah, for sure. Cause I mean, like I said earlier, I like to laugh. So if you can make me laugh through the text and that's a definite better option. Yeah. And do you, okay. So let's say you meet a dude, give him your number at let's say the supermarket.

28:48 I know you don't get hit on a lot at the supermarket, but it's something I teach my guys to do as well as like at the mall, old town, Fort Collins, wherever there's people out and about you get her number. How much do you, would you personally think that you'd like to text before you guys arrange a hangout? If he makes you laugh, if you're feeling it, you like them. What was that look like? Um, for me, I like to meet them sooner than later because I don't want to get too close over texts and then meet him and be like, Oh, the vibe is off.

29:22 So I'd rather meet sooner. Okay. Do most of your friends agree with that? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Most of my girlfriends say that too. So I usually say about six texts. So you text her, she texts you back, you text her. And then to arrange it, I have a template for my guys to arrange it in a way where you get the highest chance of her not flaking. Have you flaked on a dude? Like you had the date set up. Oh, she's nodding. Yes, boy.

29:42 Why the fuck? Jess, would you do that to him? I don't like totally flake. I tell them that I have like make up an excuse. I don't just not show up, but I think that it just comes down to, I got a weird vibe over the texts usually is what's wrong. And then I'm like, I don't want to go meet him. Like if he's texting me too much, then I'm like, I don't know. You hate that thirstiness, man. I got to text you. And that's the thing.

30:13 I guarantee you boys, look, what I just, what I teach my guys is she texts you, you text her. She texts you, you text her. None of this follow-up bullshit. None of this. Hey, why didn't you read my message? Bullshit. Never do that. And if she takes five days to text boys, you fucking wait. Okay. So look at Jess, what she just said. When he's thirsty over texting, she's going to flake on him. Even if she agrees to go on a hangout, which Jess, you shouldn't agree to the hangout if you're not into it.

30:42 But, but maybe you fucked up after you agreed, right? Maybe you fucked up after. Yeah. Usually, usually it is that way that like we agreed to hang out and then he's being like, yeah, too thirsty. And then I'm like, eh, nevermind. Yeah. He's like, Hey, so what do you think of the name, uh, Brian for our first boy child? What do you think about that? You're like, Oh my God. Girls would do that too. Just, just so you know, girls do it too. It's not just boys.

31:08 They get stalker, Texas Rangers I've talked about. So when you flake on them, is it the old, I feel sick. My tummy hurts. I can't go out tonight. Is that your MO? Um, I have used that one. Sometimes I'll be like, Oh, my work went late and I don't have enough time to get ready. Or like, I don't know. My dog is sick. I've used that one before. My dog doesn't feel good. So I can't come. Yeah. My dog, like, like you real, I mean, I guess you could know if your dog is sick, but it, the excuses that people make is just funny to me because what you just said, Jess, is like what I always say as examples, like I'm sick.

31:47 My dog is sick. My best friend, my best friend got in a car accident. I got to go get her, you know, whatever myriad of different excuses that you make. So I also understand female psychology that sometimes you're just not in the mood. Like you were in the mood two days ago, but something happened, maybe something at work or he did something where you're just not into it anymore. And then you're over it. Do you intend most of the time when you flake on a dude, is there any chance he could get back in there?

32:13 You think? Not usually. Not usually. Cause then I feel bad that I didn't go. And then I'm just like, meh, it's fine. He'll find somebody else. And then I just move on. Yep. Yep. Yep. Cool. So Jess, you've been awesome. I believe that answers all the questions that I had prepared for today. Do you have any questions for me or anything like that, that you want clarification on as you too become a seduction coach in two years, you're going to blow me out of the water.

32:43 You're going to be like, welcome to the Jess podcast. I'm like, what the fuck? And then you're going to take all my listeners. Do you have any questions? I don't think so. Okay, cool. Okay. So if you want, you can share your Instagram with the boys in case some of those guys want to follow you. Oh, she's got to pull it out. Oh, sorry. I wasn't prepared. She doesn't even know. In the meantime, I'm going to give a plug for myself. Guys, once again, if you want to get on that call with me, go to my website, you click the link in the description below.

33:09 Again, I have some availability that has opened up because I added an extra day. And to remind you guys, I am an NLP dating coach. Jess, do you know what NLP is? No, I don't. So NLP is Neuro Linguistic Programming. And the basic premise is that we're born basically like a clean slate. And through the years, particularly from one to seven, we're basically being programmed by our parents. So if your parent believes that he's not enough or you shouldn't bother people or money is scarce, money is hard to get, all these belief systems, you basically take it on because you're in a mild state of hypnosis.

33:44 So just like a computer program, we're operating with software in our head that dictates the results we get in life. NLP is Neuro Linguistic Programming, which reprograms those programs inside your head. So a lot of guys who struggle with women have beliefs, I'm not enough. You shouldn't approach people. Sex is wrong. That girl is too good for me. Well, that was given to them by somebody else before they could defend themselves from it. So what I do is I walk them through these visualizations. They're called NLP protocols.

34:15 And it's like a guided meditation that rewires, remaps your brain because your brain is literally pliable to the point where you can remap those beliefs you have inside yourself. So if you keep getting the same results, you keep having the same traumas, having the same things that happen over and over again, it's all inside your head. And what I tell my guys is the biggest war you'll ever fight is the one between your two ears. And when you take control of that and choose the belief systems that you want, you really get the life you choose, right?

34:43 You can make more money, get more happiness, be more confident. Really, your life can get that good, but it's all from here. Have you heard of the law of attraction, Jess? No, I haven't. Oh my God. Okay. So it's basically like your thoughts attract back to you, your life. So everything around you, all those lights hanging in your background, all those candles and all the things behind you there, even your tattoo on your arm, that was like attracted to you by virtue of thinking. So you thought it and then it manifests in your reality.

35:15 So you got to be careful what you think about and what you think about is dictated by those programs given to you by your mom, your dad, your siblings before you could defend yourself. I suggest, Jess, you watch the movie, The Secret. Have you ever heard of it? No, I haven't. Check that out. It's on Netflix. It's called The Secret. It talks all about this law of attraction thing. Are you into kind of spirituality, metaphysical stuff at all, or is that just stupid to you? Yeah, I like it.

35:41 Yeah. You'll love this movie. So check that out. Like tonight, watch that. That movie changed my life. And when I understood how powerful the mind is, I really wanted to take control of it. And that's when I found NLP. And now when I take my clients through that, they become more attractive to women because your body language is a reflection of your thoughts. So I feel like I'm enough, Jess. And that's why I'm confident. It's why I speak the way I do. And it's only because I reprogram my brain.

36:09 So Jess, if you're interested in getting on a free breakthrough session with me, sign up at my website. I'm like, Jess, what the fuck? I get an application. She's like, I'm ready to learn. I'm ready for NLP. So boys, apply anytime. I do want to meet with all you guys. You guys are champions. So Jess, did you figure out what your Instagram is? Yes. It's Jess under dash Stevens, one, two, two, and it's Stevens with a PH. Steve. Okay. So Stephens is kind of how it's spelled.

36:39 All right. So Jess is J E S S under slash Stephens. Was it one, two, two? Why one, two, two, if you don't want me asking? Well, when I was little, I picked 12 as my lucky number and I've stuck with it ever since. I like it. My lucky number is 11. So I have it right there. Yeah. 11, 11. Oh, cool. You ever see 11, 11 on the clock? Oh, well, I guess. I mean, I'm sure I do, but not like often. Yeah. They say when you see 11, 11 on the clock, 222 or for you, it would be 12, 12 since that's your lucky number.

37:16 It's kind of like spirit talking to you, telling you you're on the right course. So I'm very spiritual. I meditate every day. I'm really into that stuff. So I have this to remind me to stay in the present moment, to be positive, to improve myself. And that's why I have this tattoo. So. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. 12, 12 is your number girl. Look for that on the clock. That's somebody's talking to you on the other side when you see that. That's what I believe. All right, gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening.

37:41 Jess, you were an awesome guest. You were a little nervous before we started, but you killed it, girl. You actually crushed it. So when you start your own podcast, just don't forget about the little guy. Don't forget about me when you become big. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, like we talked about this a little bit. If you started a seduction course, like Jess's seduction program. Oh my God, you kill it because all the, look up Kezia Noble. She was actually approached by a guy just like me, a dating coach.

38:12 She was taught this shit and now she's absolutely crushing it. Kezia, K-E-Z-I-A, Noble, like you are Noble. She's pretty like you are. And she, yeah, I've talked to her several times. She's absolutely crushing it. So, hey, maybe this was meant to be in a way. And you know, obviously, you never know. So obviously I'm always accessible to you, Jess. Hit me up anytime. We'll hang out again sometime in the future. And boys, I do appreciate you listening. I have another podcast dropping. I don't know when this is going to go out.

38:43 They go out on Mondays and Thursdays, but if this hits on Thursday, my next podcast on Monday or my next podcast on Thursday is going to kind of explain some of the things that Jess and I talked about from that seduction point of view and why she said what she said, because everything she said was goddamn spot on with what I teach, like literally everything. She made one good point though, about the supplication tone being manipulative. I've actually never thought of that. So thank you, Jess.

39:09 You've already taught your first student something. Glad I could help. All right. Thanks again, Jess. Gentlemen, I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.