Just Quit and Give Up NOW

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, money, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. I'm your host, John Anthony. And I'm Mark Sing. And today we're going to talk about whether or not self-help is even worth it. Okay, so, you know, it's kind of funny because we all get into this journey trying to gain something out of it, trying to improve our lives. And a lot of the time we don't even look at the other side of things, which is the negatives that can sometimes come from self-help.

0:33 So today Mark and I are just going to kind of go back and forth on some of the negatives and downsides that can actually come from self-help. And one that comes to mind, actually, the first one that comes to mind is it's going to make it a lot harder to relate to the average person. You know, I mean, I've just noticed in my life that as I've gotten into, you know, improvement and as I've made these quantum leaps in my physical health and fitness, my business life, my sex life, and just all areas of my life, I've found that it's almost like I don't want to be around a lot of my old friends anymore because their mindsets are just so toxic.

1:10 And it's like you go through this journey and you can't go through this journey of self-help without becoming kind of a fucking badass, to be honest. Like you just get focused, you, you know, really hone in on your vision, you don't put up with any bullshit, you have strong boundaries. And then when you go back to see these old people that you used to relate with, you know, they're, they're not the same that you thought they were. So that's, that's one big thing is loneliness and just having to leave people behind, you know, that's, that's one of the most common questions I get is, you know, John, I, I'm really into this, this game stuff and self-development, but my friends just think it's stupid.

1:46 So what should I do, you know, and, uh, that's kind of one of the things that we'd like to tackle in this podcast. Yeah. So the reason we're speaking about this is because this morning, actually over the last few days, I've just been, both John and I have been going crazy, uh, preparing this new program that we're going to come out with. It's called the alpha evolution home bootcamp. And it's basically a home bootcamp to teach you guys how to attract women. And it's, it's like nothing the seduction community has ever seen.

2:13 What it is, is it basically gives you, um, one-on-one coaching with John and I, and it's a really, really, really comprehensive, um, you know, program that's going to speed you to results in the quickest way possible, you know, so on and so forth. So both, both John and I have been like going absolutely crazy over the last month working on this thing. I mean, you would not believe how much work this takes to put out a product. I mean, not only do you have to create it, but you have to create all the sales material and I write all the sales material.

2:44 And right now, um, I was looking at my, my Google document and I have 20,000 words written. And I tell you that John, I have 20,000, holy shit. Yeah. 20,000 words written and I'll probably use about six to 8,000 of them, but it's like, you just want to, you want to convey what's going on in the person's mind. You know, like what, what do they feel like? What are they struggling with? And it's, it's really, it's really a lot of work and it's really mentally taxing. And then on top of that, you know, I try to, I'm really into self-development.

3:15 So I put discipline as number one in my life and that involves, you know, waking up, doing my meditations. Then I, I have to do my, my physical therapy exercises because my sacroiliac joint is out in my hip. Um, I'm an old man, 41 years old. And a couple of summers ago I did a backflip off a boat and then my, my sacroiliac joint came out. So it's just been a constant problem since then. So I got to do my PT exercises. That's 30 minutes. Then I got to eat like the exact right diet so I can be ripped.

3:45 That's another, you know, hour or half an hour. Then I go to the gym and I hit it super hard. And I'm like, I was driving home from the gym just now, uh, before we sat down to do this podcast. And I was like, is it worth it? Is it worth it? Because you know, like you guys, I have friends that just work regular jobs. They smoke weed, they play video games and they're just kind of like, okay with how they are. But it's like, I asked myself sometimes, why do I have this insatiable drive to improve myself?

4:16 Why do I put myself through this, you know, working 16 hour days, working out all the time, eating perfectly, you know, denying drugs, drinking, smoking, denying being with toxic women, denying shitty food, you know, um, resisting all these urges that we have, not even masturbating, you know, just all these like self-discipline things that we do to improve ourselves. And I was asking myself why, like, what's the point of doing this? And then I started asking myself, well, what's the point of life? Like, is it to be fulfilled?

4:50 Is it to be happy? Is it to love? Is it to grow into the best version of myself? What is this about? And the conclusion I came to, which is kind of cheesy, but the conclusion I came to is, well, you make your own purpose. You know, you, you choose what you want to do and is self-development worth it? That's the question. And the answer I came to is yes. And the reason it's, the reason it's worth it, and we're going to get into this obviously much more in the podcast is because it is the most fulfilling way to go.

5:19 Yes. It's painful. Yes. It's difficult. Yes. It takes an immeasurable amount of self-discipline and motivation, but on the other side, you get more happiness than if you were to just sit around and eat Cheetos and watch Netflix and play video games. And, you know, for some people, I guess that's okay. And you need to decide if it's okay for you, but it's just not okay for me. And I know it's not okay for John either. And really that's the question you need to ask yourself is self-development worth it.

5:47 Well, I don't know. Is it worth it to you? And if you answer yes to that question, then you'll know, you know, you'll kind of know what your purpose is. You'll know why you're doing it. But really, I don't, I don't think like there's a man in the sky that says, yes, it is or no, it isn't. You just have to decide that for you. And ultimately what's going to make you the most fulfilled, I think is the base question. But then, but then again, I don't know.

6:10 Cause that's self-indulgence too, isn't it? Like, are we all just addicts trying to get as fulfilled as we can, you know, just these like these hits, because really we're all just addicts. Like we just want this good feeling hits, the serotonin that goes in on our brain. But sometimes I wonder, is it better just to, you know, be ahead on a morphine drip and just basically like smoke weed and watch Netflix? I mean, for me, it's not, but I don't know. Sometimes I wonder like, would that be better?

6:39 Yeah. I really like, um, what you said basically just about like finding your own meaning in life. So I was a philosophy major before I dropped out. And, um, one of the, one of my favorite philosophers was Friedrich Nietzsche and he, uh, he had this whole theory on the, the will to power. And basically he came to the conclusion that the whole meaning behind life is to grow and to expand and, and to seize, uh, opportunities and to just become better, right? That's what he called the will to power.

7:13 And in a lot of ways, I think that's what self-development is. It's like, you're getting, you're trying to get more out of life. You're trying to squeeze every last drop of juice that you can out of life. And, um, you know, it's like people that don't have that, that don't have that will to power in, in some ways, like they're actually just dead. Like they're, they're no better than in some sense, a cow because it's like, they're just being run by their base instincts. They're not really thinking, they're not utilizing the gifts that human beings have been giving, right?

7:45 Are the parts of our brain that can, you know, plan years and years in advance and that can understand these complex, complex, nuanced, uh, you know, things. And, and they're just like, you know, okay, wake up, check phone because they feel the urge to get validation, check Facebook because they have that addiction to dopamine spikes, go to work because they have to pay the bills. Okay. You know, finish work, do the bare minimum to get by, come home, just do what's easiest to get home, sit on the couch.

8:10 It's easy. It feels good. Watch Netflix. Uh, you know, it's just like this constant returning to like what you said, Mark, it's like just being an addict. It's like, you know, when you're living life in that, uh, track, it's like, you're just this animal basically. That's just like being guided around by, in all honesty, people that are a little bit more conscious and that are like putting these carrots in front of you to get you to do things that they profit from. Right. And that's, you know, in many ways, the whole basis of our financial system and our economy is that people that are even a little bit conscious and a little bit more intelligent and aware and have a little bit more discipline than the rest of us are going to be in the top of 1% because it's so fucking rare nowadays, you know?

8:56 And, um, again, like is self improvement worth it? I think it's totally fucking worth it because I don't want to just be a pussy who lives a meaningless, uh, you know, stupid life where I don't grow and expand. Um, and it is work. It's clearly fucking work. It's obviously work. But, um, interestingly enough too, I think that even the question of asking, is it worth it? Uh, that comes from the mindset of focusing on the negatives, right? So there's two forms of motivation. There's away from motivation and toward motivation away from motivation.

9:29 Say you're going to approach a hot girl away from motivation is when you're thinking of all the things that could go wrong, right? Cause it's, it's, you're being pushed away from it cause you don't want those things to happen. Oh, what if she, you know, makes me look stupid? What if she rejects me? I get that feeling of, of pain and rejection. Uh, you know, it pushes you away from it. And then there's toward motivation, which is where you're thinking of all the things that could go right, which is, Oh, what if I talk to her and she likes me?

9:54 What if I talk to her and we end up dating? What if I talk to her and I get her number and everyone, you know, in the gym or in the club looks at me and thinks I'm a fucking pimp ass, badass motherfucker, right? So when you're asking the question, is self-development even worth it? Cause see Mark's going to take notes. Uh, uh, when you're asking the question, is self-development even worth it? It's coming from a mindset of away from, because you're thinking, Oh, well I have to put in this work and, and is it going to be worth it?

10:19 Cause it's going to cause me this pain. And, and, you know, and in some sense at the highest level of self-development, like, is it, is it worth it to, you know, be like an athlete who does nothing but fucking trains all day for the first 30 years of your life, but to feel the ecstasy that, you know, Michael Phelps felt when he won, what was it like 11 gold medals or something like, is that worth it? I mean, I actually don't know. Cause you know, you sacrifice your friends, your family, and in many ways, your happiness for this obsessive pursuits of something that you feel like is greater than you.

10:52 Right. So it, it, you know, there is a lot of ways we could take this and a lot of varying degrees, but I think that at the very least, uh, you know, having a base level of self-improvement is, is obviously worth it. It's just a matter of how much you want to do it. And at what point it's actually not self-improvement, but just improvement of a specific area of yourself what I often do is look at nature to decide questions like these, because, you know, whenever you get into philosophical debates or conversations, it always kind of comes down to God, doesn't it?

11:28 And in my opinion, God is nature. The most obvious representation of God is right in front of us. It's, it's in nature. And what does nature do? Nature is either growing or it's dying. There's no middle ground. You're either growing or you're dying. And what is the nature of nature? It's to grow. It's to expand. So you look at, you look at the ocean, right? Like every day, trillions and trillions of microorganisms are born. And there's just, there's just abundance and, you know, flowers are growing in the, in the meadows.

12:01 And, you know, I live in Colorado and sometimes I just look at the sheer abundance of it out here and you have to wonder, well, what does that say about life? It says that your life should be abundant, that growth, expansion, and creativity is your nature. So for you to stagnate and not grow, you're going against your fundamental nature. And when you look at that, when you look at that evidence, to me, the answer is, again, it's obvious that yes, I should do self-development because self-development is growth and you can constantly grow.

12:34 And I think you should constantly grow. And we, we, we were really careful with the word should, because like, as they say, you're shooting all over yourself, right? It's, it's a very, I think it's a very away from, uh, type mentality, but you know, when you look at the evidence around you and when you look at those people who are the most fulfilled, because again, I mean, we're all trying to get fulfilled. We're all trying to be happy. We're all trying to, you know, experience the most joy in this life we possibly can.

13:01 I think going into discipline willingly and in a weird way, which I want to circle back to, um, moving forward in this podcast in a weird way, going into pain willingly is indeed the route to growth. But here's the thing. Most people want to avoid pain. Why do they want to avoid pain? Because it's, it's quite literally programmed into our brains. The reason we avoid pain is because that worked for us in our survival back in, you know, everybody likes to reference the caveman days. And I'm going to do that right now too.

13:32 When you were a caveman, you just, your, your mind and your body just wanted you to be safe. Didn't want you to get eaten. So when you take risks, when you go outside your comfort zone, that has very fundamentally been programmed into our DNA to be a risky thing. So that's why the majority of people live these stagnating lives where they just, you know, they barely get by. They don't take risks. They don't want to get outside their comfort zone. They don't learn to attract women.

14:03 They settle down with the first six they meet and they're relegated to that fat pussy for the rest of their lives because it's easy. You know, it's hard to learn how to meet women. It's hard to get ripped. It's hard to keep a pin diet. It's hard to meditate every day. But when you go into that willingly out, the other side is more way more fulfillment than if you just gave up and didn't do it. And that's one of the things, John, I wanted to talk to you about this actually on the sales page.

14:29 You know, so many seduction programs say, just put this program under your pillow and you'll wake up the next day with a girl in your dick. Right. And it's, it's kind of like, this is going to be easy. We're going to give you all the answers, but I'm actually writing some copy where it's like, Hey bro, we don't even want you unless you're willing to put in the work because we're only offering it up to, I think 40 or 50 students. We have to decide. But it's like, we don't want people who have an unrealistic expectation of what they can get out of a seduction program.

14:58 Because look, seduction and learning how to attract women, it's, it's difficult, man. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Yes. Getting a program like this is going to make it infinitely easier, especially when we're coaching you. I mean, your progress is going to be, you know, a million times better than it would if you did it alone, but it's not easy and it's not for pussies. You know what I'm saying? The old saying goes, getting old ain't for pussies. Well, learning how to attract women ain't for pussies either.

15:23 And it's like, I'm strongly considering putting that in the sales material. Like, listen, dude, like this isn't going to be easy. It's going to take some hard work. Yes. It'll be a lot easier because we're coaching you, but I'm just so sick of, of, of these marketing, um, angles where it's like, oh, it's going to be so easy. Don't no problem at all. Just, it's the easiest thing you've ever seen because it's just bullshit. And you know, life is a challenge. I believe it's meant to be a challenge.

15:50 Life is designed to challenge and intrigue you and make you grow. It's my personal opinion. And that's why I think self-development is absolutely worth it. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, uh, what's funny is, you know, kind of tying it back into what I was saying before. It's like, if you think of society as a pyramid, right? Most people are at the bottom because the base of the pyramid is obviously the biggest. And that's like the unthinking masses, right? The masses that are asleep. And you're right that like any sort of significant change in progress won't be easy and it won't happen overnight.

16:24 But you know, the thing is because our society focuses on only the outcome, right? Like, you know, it's, it's like, you know, with Elon Musk, it's like, oh, you know, the news blasts how he started this company and he's a billionaire. And it's like, you know, now it's like these crazy things are happening with his Twitter and smoking weed on JRE. But you know, before, like when anyone becomes famous, it's like they only focus on the, uh, events, right? For like Jeff Bezos, it's like, he's worth $150 billion, but what they don't show is like the 15 to 20 years that they spent training and honing their skills before that.

16:57 What they don't show is him staying up until, you know, five in the morning coding or doing some annoying grunt task that no one wants to do, but has to get done, you know, for days on end where they don't show is that different shit. Right. And so because of that, people have this, you know, like get rich quick fallacy where they just think that like you can, you know, solve all your problems and fix everything if you just learn the right secrets. And like, there is certainly inner secrets that the rich and successful apply that other people don't, but it takes time and it's, it's a process, you know, and what's so funny is the reason why that marketing shit exists, uh, Mark is, is because, you know, like the shit where it's like, you know, six minutes, six pack or whatever.

17:40 Like the reason that exists is because people don't want to put in work and it sells, right? Like that, that shit wouldn't exist if it didn't sell any products, but it does because most people are just lazy as fuck and they want, you know, the shredded Arnold Schwarzenegger physique with three minutes a day of work. And it just doesn't happen. You know, you have to put in work to get things, but I mean, that's, what's satisfying is like knowing that you put in the work to get something.

18:06 And this reminds me of a great quote, I forget who it's by, but he basically said that the, the reward of becoming a successful person isn't what you get at the end. It's who you become. And I just, I thought that was really fucking cool because like, he's so right. I mean, you know, it, as I've gone through my journey and I'm sure as you've gone through your journey and becoming better with women and making more money and getting physically fit and just honing in on your purpose and becoming more centered as a man, what you find is that like all the material things you gain are a result of who you become, right?

18:41 Like, because in order to get those things, you have to become the type of guy that doesn't put up with excuses in yourself, who doesn't waste your time on stupid bullshit, who has boundaries, who focuses on what needs to, you know, be focused on, who ignores things that aren't important. Like the person that you become is in many ways, what's actually makes the process of self-improvement worth it. And where marketing is concerned, what do you think converts better? The avoidance of pain or the, uh, getting of a desire?

19:09 Oh, the avoidance of pain probably. Yeah, absolutely. So, um, as a copywriter, I don't know if you guys know what a copywriter is, but it's basically a writer who writes sales material for a product very big and like information products such as this home bootcamp that we're going to launch. So in the beginning of that letter, you know, I outlined the pain that these guys are trying to avoid, not knowing what to speak to a woman, not knowing what to say to a woman, um, conversations, just running out of steam.

19:36 And then she walks away or being almost getting her and then doing something. You don't even know what you did wrong. And then she walks away, or she says she wants one kind of guy. And then she goes and sleeps with a complete douchebag. Who's the opposite of the kind of guy she says she wants. And the most frustrating about thing about that is, is that the guy she says she wants is you, but she's not giving you the chance and you can't fucking understand why.

19:59 So those are the real frustrations that our students are experiencing. And when you outline those, you know, it's, it's really effective because they're like, yeah, you know, this guy understands and we do, we understand you. Cause I've been there. I know John's been there, dude. I was there for like, you know, 15 years before I finally figured this shit out. So, um, but yeah, so when, when you do learn how to, and in this example, attract a woman, well, there's going to be some pain that you have to go through, but see 99% of guys aren't willing to go through that pain.

20:32 I mean, I see it every time at the bars, they sit on the bar with their drink in front of them and they just watch. And those are the bottom of the pyramid. As you eloquently pointed out, those are the guys who aren't willing to do it. But once in a while, I'll see a guy who just, who's approaching girls getting rejected. I'll actually go up to him and I'll start talking to him and I'll kick him some free advice because I respect the guy who has the balls to try to learn it.

20:58 You know what I mean? Because it takes courage. It takes courage to do it. It really does. And that's why, you know, most people fail. You see so many dudes who have wives and you're like, bro, I know you're not satisfied with that. I know this chick is not fulfilling you, but it's like, you're that scared. You're that scared of rejection that you're going to go marry this like six that's fat. Why the fuck do people do that? I mean, how much fear do they have?

21:24 Right. And they think they can't get better, but they absolutely can. I don't care what you look like, what your economic station is. It doesn't matter as long as you, when you learn the rules, when you learn how female psychology works, you can actually attract really high quality women. And it's the same thing with lifting weights. When you learn the fundamental principles of, you know, protein and carbs and working out and resting and all that, you can get ripped. You can lose the weight. You can get money when you learn these fundamental principles, but people are so resistant.

21:56 There's so much pain that they don't want to go through that they just settle. And I mean, bro, it's like, I don't want to be on my deathbed. And I look back and I'm like, what if I did this? What if I approach that girl? What if I did that, that joint venture with John? What if I did this? What if I did that? Fuck that, man. I mean, and, and again, that's the avoidance of pain, right? Which is interesting. I just realized this, that I'm afraid to get to the end of my life, not being what I fully could be.

22:26 And that's a big motivation to become what you fully could be. And when you were saying away from and towards energy, I absolutely agree that towards is, is a more powerful energy and it's the more masculine energy. Masculine is towards away from is feminine. You do want to have a little bit of a way from, I don't know if our NLP coach has gone over that with you. You do want to have a little bit because away from is extremely motivating. Just like what we were talking about, um, pain will sell more products than will desire.

22:57 Absolutely. And what's, uh, what's really cool, I think too, is a lot of this comes down to, like you said, just fear and being unwilling to, uh, you know, face, face your fear and follow your fear, so to speak. And, um, you know, when I'm, whenever I'm like lacking in motivation, one thing I like to do is I like to look at great men of the past who have conquered nations and who have done incredible things. Because when you, you know, read biographies of people like Nelson Mandela, Alexander the Great, uh, you know, these different people and conquerors and, and, uh, you know, you like look at what they did.

23:36 You just realize like, Oh, like I'm complaining because I like can't find a job. And this guy like fucking conquered half of Europe. Like, you know what I mean? It like puts everything in perspective. And, um, you know, I don't know. I just like, I don't want to, uh, turn this into just like complaining, but dude, like so many people nowadays are just such fucking pussies, man. Like, I mean, it's so funny cause like the fact that we even have to make this podcast shows that there's people out there who don't think self-improvement is worth it.

24:07 You know, it's like, okay, like what's the alternative? Like just being a fucking chode and like rotting and like wasting your potential. Like Jesus Christ, man. I mean, wake the fuck up. Like life is so incredible if you just like look for it and see it and just like do what you want to do. Like don't be swept around by fucking fate. You know, this is one of the, uh, principles that I talk about in module nine of our, uh, alpha evolution home bootcamp is, uh, you know, the, the principle of the game uh, proactivity, right?

24:38 And these principles of game that guide your interactions with women, they're also going to make you incredible at life, right? That's why women are attracted to them, right? Like guys get mad because women are attracted to successful men. But the thing is they actually use success as a proxy. What they're really interested in is the potential for success and the personality characteristics that bring about that success, which is why they're oftentimes more attracted to a man who is extremely ambitious and motivated and has his shit together who isn't that successful yet than they are to some, you know, trust fund kid.

25:12 Who's like a weak little fucking leech on society, uh, you know, who has the wealth and the riches, but just isn't like any substantial sort of man. Right. Um, you know, in these principles of inner game, the one that I mentioned was proactivity, right? That's a lot of what this comes down to was like when you just stop being blown around by life, like a fucking pathetic little leaf in the wind and you become a fucking rock and you're just like, dude, this is what I want.

25:38 Here's my plan to get it. And you just execute like that, that energy, that motivation, that mindset is what's going to bring you everything that you want in life. You know, I'm, I'm looking at this poem right now, uh, called Invictus. Uh, have you heard of it, Mark? Yeah, I have. Yeah. It's, it's a great poem and I actually memorized it a while ago, but the, the final lines in the poem are, I am the master of my fate. I'm the captain of my soul. And when you realize that, when you realize that like, nobody's going to do shit for you, like you're in charge of your own life.

26:10 It just seems so obvious to me that like, you have to want more than what you have. Like I just, you know, and, and I think that, um, people use apathy as an excuse to, they use happiness as an excuse to justify their apathy. Right. So, you know, if you ever talk to someone, I remember I was watching this like old documentary on a eating healthy like years ago and they were interviewing some like fat fuck who's like, you know, like 400 pounds overweight. He was eating like some disgusting, like, you know, incredibly, uh, fattening burger.

26:41 And I, I eat burgers all the time, but you know, I'm, I'm in good shape obviously. And, uh, they were like, you know, so why, why do you do this? Like, don't you think it'd be better to be healthy and like, you know, live a healthy life? And he was like, well, you know, I'm only here for a certain amount of time and I just want to enjoy it. And you know, that's, that's the excuse that pathetic people use to justify their, uh, their laziness is they say, Oh, it just makes me happy.

27:03 But the truth is that it fucking doesn't like happiness comes from growth and from struggle and from conquering yourself and your, your inner demons and growing and becoming a fucking boss. Like that's where happiness comes from. There's this, there's this term I heard somewhere recently blissfully unsatisfied or blissfully dissatisfied, something like that. And so you may be wondering, well, if, if you're going for self-improvement, then aren't you in a constant state of dissatisfaction? Aren't you always looking for the next thing, looking for the future to fulfill you?

27:37 And as we've discussed, and as we believe, if you look for the future to fulfill you, you're off your purpose. And that's also not a good way to go. It's like the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, be in the present moment, appreciate what you have in the here and now. And so this term blissfully dissatisfied is being appreciative for what you have now, looking back at how far you've come rather than always looking up at how far you have to go and saying to yourself, man, I really have come far in my life.

28:07 I've done great. I'm happy with what I have in the present moment. You know what I'm saying? Like in my personal case, I'm extremely satisfied, but then there's more. There's that next step. And I mean, again, why do you hike a mountain? Not to get to the top, but because you enjoy the sights and you enjoy the challenges and you enjoy all that stuff. So when you can have the frame that the journey itself is the reason you're doing it, the journey itself is the reason you're into this self-improvement thing.

28:36 Because like today I was lifting, man, and it was like, it was hard. I just started this new program, but I was like, yeah, man, feel that burn. And I was feeling the testosterone flowing and I was like, yeah, let's get after this. So, you know, where it's hard, it's actually enjoyable. And that's the journey itself. Yes. I look forward to, my goal is to gain five more pounds of muscle. So I look forward to achieving that in the three to six months ahead. But during that time, I'm going to enjoy my music.

29:04 I'm going to enjoy, you know, um, lifting the weights, getting stronger each step of that process, because look, that's kind of the point, isn't it? If you're constantly living where the end justifies the means, which means you're constantly looking to the future to fulfill you, then you're lost in the same way that you'd be lost. If you just ate Cheetos and watch Netflix, no, you have to enjoy that journey. You have to enjoy reading the books that, that, you know, make you better listening to this podcast that's actually helping improve you and, and doing those things.

29:36 Because if you, again, get rid of, get rid of the now in order to justify the future, well, that's not going to make you happy either. Yeah, absolutely. And it's, it's a paradox. I mean, on one hand, you have to always be striving. You don't have to, but you know, on one hand, personally, I'm always looking for like the next big thing that I can do to improve and to get better and et cetera. But at the same time, I'm also trying to enjoy my life.

30:02 And in many ways, that is what enjoys, what makes you enjoy your life is when you've like conquered a bunch of different things and you have the results to show for it. You know, obviously there's certain base things you need, like, you know, having a certain amount of money that you're earning that can make you, uh, you know, happy with what you've got and having, you know, a girlfriend can help and friends and, and good food and good health. Like there's baseline things that are really important to enjoy, but part of the enjoyment also comes from the process of growing.

30:31 Like that's what flow is. That's, you know, the most addicting state known to mankind is flow, which is basically when you're in what's called the, in psychology, the proximal zone of development. And what that means is you're engaged in a process, whatever it is, whether it's, you know, copywriting like Mark does, or, you know, writing a blog post like I do sometimes, uh, or surfing or, you know, playing a game, whatever you're engaged in a process and it's difficult enough that it's a serious challenge and that it's challenging your abilities, but it's not so difficult that you fail at it.

31:07 Right. That's when you, that's when you really enjoy the process and get lost in the zone. It's when you're fully engaged in something and it's, it's, uh, not so challenging that you fail, but it's challenging enough that you can feel yourself growing and you're testing your skills against this thing that you're doing. That's what causes real enjoyment. I think is flow. You'll know you're there too. When you're doing the thing and three hours goes by and it felt like 10 minutes. Yeah. Even to this day, when I get on coaching calls with my clients, the hour will go by so fast.

31:39 I'll be like, what the hell, man? How'd that go by so quickly? And even when I'm writing copy, um, the time, the time will just fly by so quickly when I'm in the flow. I always, I always call it like the copywriting Hulk has emerged. Like, I just feel like, like it comes out and then all this like cool stuff is flowing out of me and all these cool analogies and it's just hitting and it's just flowing and I read it and I'm like, hell yeah, it doesn't always happen.

32:03 Like I said, I've written like, I think it was 20,000 words and I'm only using about 6,000 of them because it takes a while to like hammer on it, hammer on it, hammer on it until it sounds right. And then you, you know, cut and paste that little part and you stick it in. But, but that's the flow. That's the flow state. And I think that that is one of the most important things in life. And one of the most important, uh, fulfilling things about life is to get into that flow state.

32:28 And you're not going to be able to do that unless you're challenging yourself. Are you, if you're doing that? That sloth existence that we keep mentioning, well, you're not, and you're never going to get into the flow state. And I just keep thinking back to this friend that I have here in Colorado. And I don't want to rip on the guy because he has a good heart, but he just lives the most sedentary lifestyle you could possibly think of. I mean, he works at the supermarket over here.

32:53 The supermarkets are all are called King supers. It's a really funny name. It's part of the Kroger Kroger supermarket chain. So he works in the bakery section and then he goes home and smokes weed and he makes so little money that he actually turned off his internet and told his kid, sorry, kid, like we don't have internet anymore. Meanwhile, he's smoking weed and he's borrowing money from his ex wife. So it just goes to show like, how could that possibly be fulfilling? How could he possibly be happy with that?

33:22 What is he afraid of? And it's like, you know, John, you probably experienced this too. As a coach, you want to pull the guy aside and be like, Hey brother, like, let's talk about this. I want to help you out. But people aren't going to be helped unless they want to, you can tell them, you can tell them this, that, and the other till you're blue in the face. And not only will they not listen, but they'll actually resent you in the end. Now you guys, the listeners are listening to this podcast.

33:45 You're 33 minutes in. Perhaps you clicked on it initially because you too thought that self-development is stupid and worthless. And maybe, maybe you are one of those people who lives a sedentary lifestyle, but more likely I have a feeling you're probably a go-getter just like John is. You're trying to maximize your life and get after it. And I mean, if you listen this far and if you're sitting there shaking your head, yes, and you're agreeing with this, well, you're probably on purpose. You're probably living a life that's worth living and you're probably pretty fucking fulfilled.

34:15 And perhaps you want to get better. Hey, we all want to get better. I haven't arrived yet. I'm still on the journey. I'm still hiking up that mountain. Yeah. I look back and I've come far, but man, I have a long way to go and I'm excited, dude. I'm looking up at that next peak and I'm like, man, I wonder, I wonder, what the journey is going to be like to get there. So again, be in the present moment. Enjoy where you're at. Obviously, you're getting after it because you're listening to this.

34:39 Obviously, you see the benefits of self-improvement. And dude, if you want to improve more, then man, I fully support you. And you know, John and I offer programs. We offer coaching. We're coming out with this Alpha Evolution Home Bootcamp, which by the way, I wanted to mention, if you want to get on the list for that. And if you haven't yet, go to the website, masculinedevelopment.com and get on John's list. You get on that by grabbing the free program, three texts to build a massive attraction in women.

35:07 And what's going to happen is you'll get on the email list. And then about, I don't know, about a week and a half, we're going to start emailing updates about this upcoming launch. And again, we're only offering it to a certain number of people. So you have to be Johnny on the spot when it does go live on, I think we were talking November 15th? Yes. Thursday? Something like that. We haven't decided yet, but basically around that time. So again, go to masculinedevelopment.com. Get on, grab the free ebook, three texts to build massive attraction in women.

35:37 Boom, we'll have your email and we will let you know when that course is going to come out. But yeah, again, man, it's like the fact that you're listening, the fact that you're trying to improve, even if you're coming from a really bad place, even if your whole life, all you have done is live this sloth lifestyle, well, dude, you know, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step or whatever the hell that quote is. And you're starting, you're doing it. So feel good about that and keep going because we will tell you it is worth it.

36:08 Exactly. And, you know, the pain of not improving yourself is worse than the pain that you'll go through improving yourself. The pain of living your life and then getting to the end and realizing that you had more to give and you didn't give it is a lot worse than the pain that you'll go through to, you know, to go to the gym and to get in better shape and to improve yourself as a person. So that's always one thing I think is really important to consider.

36:32 In the book, Death of a Salesman, he gets to the end of his life and he says, what if everything I've done has been wrong? Can you imagine how terrifying that would be? If you're dying, you're going to be dead by tomorrow and you look back and you say, what if everything I did was wrong? What if, you know, and I think you're more likely to say that if you do, you know, the slacker lifestyle than if you get after it. I really do. Absolutely. And what's terrifying too is it would be your fault, right?

37:01 Like it's, it's one thing if like, you know, you were, I don't know, born like a slave and you lived a slave, but like if you're born in a free country where you can do whatever you want and then you choose to waste it, that's, that's hell. I mean, that's infinitely worse because it was your fault that you wasted it. So yeah, don't fucking waste it guys. Get out there. So one other thing I wanted to touch upon is a philosophy I have about discipline and pain.

37:25 So we're born into this world and when we're babies, we get every little need attended to. We cry and our mom comes over and she gives us whatever we want. And we learn early on that negative behavior, such as complaining, crying, and being a little pussy gets us what we want. So a lot of people never grow out of that. And I dare say myself as well, my life was amazing until I left home at 18 to go to college. My mom gave me whatever the hell I wanted.

37:53 Yeah, my dad died when I was 10. Yeah, my mom, you know, was an anxious person, but I always had life delivered to me on a silver platter. And I feel that was a really, real big disadvantage to me. You know, Jocko Willink says, when you help your kids, you hurt your kids because what's embedded in them is an understanding that complaining and being a pussy gets you what you want. But here's the truth, man. Here's the reality of it. Life is difficult. You're going to get a pile of shit.

38:21 You're going to get challenges. You're going to get hit with unexpected things. Now, when you deal with those things by crying and complaining and feeling bad and having a victim mentality, well, it just gets worse, doesn't it? Because that doesn't solve anything. And it's really sad because a lot of people are just spoiled as fuck. And especially in today's world with these millennials, no offense, John, but they're all given whatever the hell they want. Yeah, I agree 100%. They're all total – like a lot of them are just a bunch of pussies because they've never been taught this discipline.

38:54 So I believe that you're going to get a pile of pain. It's inevitable. You have a human body. You know what I'm saying? Like my SI joint is coming out every single morning. Hey, that's having a human body. It could be a lot worse. Dude, I'm 41 years old and that's the only body pain that I have. Everything else is amazing. And that's much better than most 41-year-olds. But why is that the case? It's because I go into pain willingly. And this is where discipline comes in.

39:19 John, I don't know if our NLP coach has had you make a hierarchy of priorities list yet. Yeah, yeah. He has. Okay, so for me, one of the top things for me is spirituality, meditating every day, connecting with God, being in the present moment. Soon after that, and I recently redid this, is discipline. And the reason it's discipline is because that to me represents going into pain willingly. Going into pain willingly is sitting down and meditate when I don't want to, lifting weights when I don't feel like it, eating the freaking ground turkey with broccoli when I'd much rather have a hamburger with fries.

39:53 And when you go into it willingly, what's ironic is out the other side is much more joy than you'd experience if you did eat that cheeseburger with french fries. So in my opinion, you're going to get a pile of shit. So go into it willingly. Dive into that pile of shit, man. Get up on the high dive and dive into that thing and go after it, go after it. And I feel like when you actually go into it more than you even have to, it just gets better and better and better and better.

40:21 And to me, I don't know if you guys have ever heard of Jocko Willink, but he's got a really big podcast. I'm sure you've heard of him. But to me, he represents the epitome of both discipline and masculinity, testosterone, you know, getting after it, as he always says. And you see the guy, he's ridiculously successful. Clearly, he's happy. Same with Joe Rogan. I really respect him as well. These guys are going into their pain willingly. They're working out. They're doing jujitsu. They're having a podcast. They're releasing products.

40:51 They're working really hard. And at first blush, you look at that and say, man, this is a lot of hard work. This must be very painful. But they're probably two of the happiest guys in this entire nation because they are going into that willingly. And again, that's discipline. So if you're into self-improvement, I cannot stress enough how important it is to have discipline and how important it is to take challenges and say, yeah, let's do this. Bring that shit, motherfucker. Like, you got a challenge? Let's do it.

41:24 Because when you have that towards mentality, when you go into it willingly, not only is it masculine, but again, when you conquer that challenge, when you get ripped, when you get money, when you get girls, oh, my God. The fulfillment, satisfaction, and pride that you'll experience is beyond anything you could possibly imagine, which, again, totally worth it. Absolutely. And it's worth it because you did it. Yep. You know? It's worth it because you did it. No one else gave it to you. Like, you know, there's a – that's why – what's the word for affluenza?

41:57 Oh, yeah. If you look at, like, suicide statistics, the bracket of society that actually kills itself the most is the upper class and the upper middle class, basically the rich. Yeah. Right? And the reason why is, like, you know, you look at somebody who's, like, living in a ghetto and you're like, damn, that sucks. Like, why would they not – why would someone who's rich kill themselves more often than someone that's, you know, poor? And the reason why is because when you're poor, you have hope.

42:20 You have a struggle. You have, you know, something that you're aiming to do and it gives you purpose. You want to get out. Right? You're trying to get out, get a better life. It gives you purpose. But when you're handed wealth, you feel like a worthless little kid who just didn't do anything and you don't have to grow into a man from challenges and it just kills you, you know? Well, it's like that quote I said, when you help your kids, you hurt your kids, right?

42:43 Like, and these parents, they have the best intentions because I think as parents, you just want to take care of your kid, shield them from pain, you know, give them the best life you possibly can. But that's a fallacy, dude. You can't – if you give life, you give pain. And you can't shield your kid from that. So instead of shielding them from that, learn and teach them how to deal with it. You know, give them the tools to deal with it. You know, I'm hoping to be a father one day.

43:09 I'm not yet, but I'm really hoping I will be. And that's what I plan to teach my kid. You know, he or her will be their own individual person. But you have to give them the tools to be able to deal with life effectively because it's going to come and it's going to kick you in the butt, man. It's going to smash you in the face. And if you get knocked down and you start crying for mommy or if you get knocked down and say, this isn't fair and you get on food stamps, well, you're just – you're a piece of shit.

43:36 Like you're not – you know what I'm saying? Like you're not – you're not being responsible for your life, responsibility, responding with ability to the situations that surround you. Yeah. No, yeah, you're a baby. I mean that's – a man is somebody who takes accountability for his situation and his actions. And, you know, ideally becomes strong enough to support other people, support yourself, and, you know, do good things in the world, right? That's ultimately what your purpose should be. And that's interesting because, again, my childhood was amazing.

44:10 You know, my mom did the best she can. I love her to no end, an amazing woman. But really she helped me so much and gave me such a blessed childhood. I grew up in Irvine, California, which is funny because that's where Will Smith grew up and he's like, I grew up on the mean streets of Irvine, California, which is funny because it's the most – the safest city in the United States, I think. It might be either number one or two. But it's the biggest planned city, which means it was all planned, and people call it the bubble because it's just like a safe – it's just a safe like aquarium of safety to where nothing happens to you.

44:45 And, like, my childhood literally consisted of going to the beach all the time, just, like, surfing, being on the beach. My mom would give me whatever the frick I wanted. I was a spoiled piece of shit, and it really was a disservice to me. I mean, I thank her because it was an amazing childhood, and, you know, like I said, I love her to death. But even to this day – I'm 41 years old. I moved out when I was 18. Well, still to this day, I was driving home, and I was like, man, is this worth it?

45:11 Is this worth it, like, all this hard work I'm doing? And, like, John eloquently pointed out, and clearly I still have to work on this, that was an away-from-thought. And my NLP coach and I are working on this because – look at that. And an away-from-thought crept in because during my childhood, I was always given what the hell I wanted. And unconsciously, part of me still believes, even though I have consciously accepted and have worked on it, that someday I'll arrive. Someday I'll get there. So many people live in this mentality.

45:43 Someday I'll arrive. You know, one day when this and this happens, I can finally be happy. But that is an illusion. My best friend growing up who happened to live in the same area that I grew up in. We lived just down the street. It's so sad, and I think about him all the time. But right now, he's homeless, addicted to meth. And I think part of the reason that is is because, again, the affluenza, right? I mean, we weren't super rich, but it was upper middle class and certainly rich compared to most of the world.

46:14 But he always would say that. Always like, hey, bro, once we get this, bro, like once we start this business together, once this happens, once that happens, then it will be awesome, man. Then we'll be happy. And what's ironic is this dude would pull so many girls, so many. This guy had so much game, and that's part of how I learned game was just by watching him. Some of the shit he'd do would be totally counterintuitive, and I'd be like, man, how the hell? And he taught me a lot, but I mean this guy would pull just nines and tens all day long, extremely attractive to women because he had all those attractive attributes that we're going to teach you in the home boot camp.

46:50 And so – but he would always be in that future mentality, the means justify the end. Let's step on today, crush it under our heel so we can get to the fulfillment of tomorrow, and it's an illusion, complete illusion. So if you have those thoughts, once I get this, once I get good with women, once I get money, then I can relax and be happy, it's an illusion. If you're not happy now, if you don't have that state now, as John pointed out, you're not going to have it in the future because your future is a reflection of what you are today.

47:23 Absolutely. I think I'm pretty much done with what I have to say for the most part. You tapped out there, buddy? Yeah, going to tap out. I thought it was pretty good. I thought it was great, man. It was fucking awesome. You're on fire today, man. You're just working, working. You're like, okay, I'm tapped out, Mark. Let's hang out so I can get back to work on this project. Yeah, man. I'm trying to finish this Alpha Evolution home boot camp. I'm really excited. It's going to help a lot of guys.

47:50 It's going to help a lot of people. You've been putting in mad hours and so have I. We really – genuinely, guys, genuinely, genuinely – and I tried to capture this in the sales letter, but we really want to help you. We really do. I mean from the bottom of my heart, like I just – I can't even tell you how passionate I am to help you. And this isn't some bullshit sales method to try to get you to buy this program. No, honestly, this program really delivers the goods.

48:15 It goes above and beyond any other program we've seen. And trust us, we've seen them all because while we're coaches, we're students first. And we do still buy programs, by the way, and we still go through them, and it's like, come on, man. Like this is just junk. So we really, really, really gave our hearts and souls into this, and we feel like you got something amazing here. And I mean, come on. It involves one-on-one coaching with both John and I. And I'll tell you what, you're probably thinking right now, holy shit, this thing is going to be like super fucking expensive.

48:45 We found a way to still get you one-on-one coaching and make it affordable. So we're really proud of it. We really want you to check it out. Again, go to masculinedevelopment.com. Get on that list. Re-text to build massive attraction to women. Boom. We'll email you. If you have any questions, you can email John. I also want to say real quick, while Alpha Evolution is our main focus, I do give one-on-one coaching. You can get that at marksingcoaching.com, M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G, coaching.com. And I am offering a little program called The Approach Formula.

49:19 And it teaches you how to approach a woman and get her attracted to you. Usually sells for $33, but I'm selling it for $10. And you can get that at gettheapproachformula.com. John? So I've got multiple products as well. So first off is seven strategies to develop your masculinity. And if you feel like today's talk really resonated with you on just wanting to become better and you just – you're fired up and you're motivated, then I highly recommend you check it out. There's going to be a link down below.

49:47 It's basically seven strategies to turn you into an alpha male who doesn't make excuses, doesn't come up with bullshit, and just gets shit done. It comes with four free bonuses as well. You can check them all out. There's the information in the link down below. It's a great product. I've gotten so many emails from guys that have turned their lives around, and it's just all around an incredible product. I highly urge you guys to check it out. Then second, there's Body of an Alpha, which is my definitive guide on bodybuilding.

50:15 It's funny because I actually had a client message me recently. He was going back and looking through the bonus that I give with it called Alpha Supplements. And he was shocked because he said, hey, I didn't see this thing in there before. Like where – did you put this in? Like what happened? And what happens is every time I discover something new, I always try to update my products and keep them updated. So Body of an Alpha has the most current, state-of-the-art, just cutting-edge information on bodybuilding and health and fitness and what to eat, fad diets and boosting testosterone and just everything you need to know about building a physique that commands respect from men and gets attraction from women.

50:55 So you can check that out in the link down below. And then lastly is my course, Bitcoin Millionaire, which is a video course. It's got over 10 hours on exactly how I trade cryptocurrencies to make six figures. You get access to everything I'm buying and selling, which nobody fucking does by the way because they can't actually trade. So what I'll do is when you purchase the program, you get access to this group we have where you'll be notified every time I buy or sell something. So you can literally do it as I'm doing it in real time.

51:26 It's an incredible program and it's actually currently not open to the public because there is a lot of people that I have to do one-on-one coaching with in the group. So if you're interested, you can send me an email. And if I think you're a good fit, then I'll open up the spot. But those are my three products. Check them out in the links down below. And, of course, keep an eye open for the Alpha Evolution Home Boot Camp. If you go to my website, Masculinedevelopment.com, you will be given an option to sign up to my email list and you'll get a free e-book on how to text women in return for signing up.

51:56 And in about a week and a half, we're going to start giving you guys updates on when we're going to release the Alpha Evolution Home Boot Camp. So please check out the links down below. Check out Mark's stuff. Check mine out too. And as always, we will see you guys next time. Real quick, John, give them that quote from Jay Campbell, The Cave You Fear. Yeah. The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek. Perfect quote for the end of this podcast. Thanks for listening, guys.

52:24 We will see you next time. Bye-bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.