The DEEP SECRET to My Success With Girls

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UNP. I really do appreciate it. Today, we are going to talk about the deep secret to my success with girls. This is one of the biggest secrets that I have to why I was so successful. A couple of these things happened inadvertently. What I want to do today is I want to share with you what these things are and how they're totally counterintuitive.

0:43 I want you to be able to duplicate them so you too can start getting some massive, massive success with girls. I'm talking girls getting obsessed, yelling at you because you won't date them, crying because things don't go their way with you, stalking you, getting up at 3 a.m., putting on their makeup to come over to your house when you call them randomly just to have sex with you. That's the kind of level we want to get women to, and I'm going to teach you how to do that in this episode.

1:10 Before we get started, I wanted to thank all of you for the reviews. Yes, here this idiot goes again asking for reviews, but man, the podcast is growing so quick, and I just thank you guys so much for the reviews. It's because of you that it's growing so quickly. So if you leave me a review, preferably a five-star review with some text behind it, let people know what you found most interesting, most helpful about the UMP. Then email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com, and I will send you some stuff.

1:38 I'd really appreciate that. All right, let's jump straight into the content, shall we? All right, so what is the secret to my success? Some of you who have listened to this podcast for some time might be able to guess, but there is probably one thing you don't know, and I'm going to reveal that more towards the end. So make sure to stick around for the full duration of this episode, but number one, I didn't really give a shit, and what I mean by that is I looked at girls more like a game than me trying to get something from her.

2:09 Now, the big problem with a lot of you guys is you're trying to get her sex. You are desperate. You are thirsty. You want the sex so bad, and I don't know if it's just the way I'm wired or what it is, but to me, sex really wasn't the end-all, be-all thing for me. What I really liked was the game. I really liked getting girls attracted to me and that whole first conversation sequence. That's why I have so many lines, so many things I said. That's why a lot of you guys think I'm really funny.

2:38 It's just like, bro, I've been in so many freaking sets that I've said the same thing over and over again so many times. I've been in so many different situations that I have answers and rebuttals to many of the challenges and things that girls say to me, so it's not necessarily that I'm so damn clever. It's just I've been doing this for so long that I've mastered that kind of first conversation stuff, but for me, it was always that moment. I was pretty obsessed with it.

3:05 I've actually worked on it with my own NLP coach. That moment when the girl clicks and I can see it in her eyes, that moment she gets attracted to me, that was like everything to me. I love trying to get that. And then once I had that, I mean, just between you and me, and this is why I say I kind of stumbled ass backwards into my deep success with women, I kind of didn't give a shit. So really, actually, I kind of didn't give a shit through the whole thing.

3:29 I just liked, it was like more for my own entertainment. I just like talking to girls. I love their energy. And so I didn't really, I wasn't trying to get like the sex from them, wasn't trying to get anything from them, and they could feel that from me. So how can you apply this to your life? Well, first of all, you need to understand that when you are thirsty, when you're trying to get sex, when you're trying to get something from her, take something from her, they can feel it.

3:54 And it immediately puts up there what we call bitch shield, doesn't it? And a lot of you guys have experienced this. So really, you need to have a different mindset. You need to shift it into, well, let's just look at this as a game. I'm more interested in just bantering, getting better at talking to girls, and I want to have an abundance mindset, which we're going to get into next. Okay, number two, the reason I had really deep success was, the conversation was simply for my entertainment.

4:23 And that's the difference, is some guys don't genuinely enjoy talking to girls. But honestly, I think anybody can enjoy it, or anybody can enjoy anything once they get good at it. So for me, it was so entertaining, and I'm so interested in female psychology, how they act. I mean, bro, you got to agree with me. Like, a female's energy and like having her standing there, and you can smell her, and like you can touch her soft little hand, and like maybe touch her hair, and like that whole exchange, that exchange of energy with a woman, in my opinion, is so freaking awesome.

4:59 So I was more like addicted to that. And it was like, I'm more there for me being entertained than for her being entertained. But here's the difference is, guys who are good at pickup focus on her state. And I'm actually going to do a podcast later this week about that, about how to be liked. And that is you focus on her, her state, what she's feeling, what she's thinking, and how the interaction is making her state get amplified. So while I was more concerned about my own entertainment, I was always focused on her and leading the conversation in a way that would get her a good state, get her a dorphine hits, oxytocin hits, and get her ramping up in that.

5:43 But it's like, I didn't really care what happened. Because to me, the conversation itself was more important than the final destination. And we could get really like philosophical with this and say, well, that's kind of the point of life. When the journey is more important than the destination, that's when you find success, right? People who are really good with money, they're not necessarily so obsessed with like the final number. I mean, it's important to them, but it's like the journey to get it. They count their numbers.

6:09 They like closing deals. They like like the process. So I was more interested in the process than the result. And because I was more interested than in the process, the result, then the result would happen really well for me. Okay, number three, I always had an abundance mentality. And I want you guys to take on this mentality too. I said it in my last podcast, right? Like when a girl is using you, you need to know that there's millions of girls literally in your state, right outside in your city.

6:37 There's millions of girls that you could date. There's plenty of fish in the sea. If you miss this bus, you'll just take the next one. And another secret to my success is I was always talking to many girls at once. Now, how can you duplicate this? Okay, so I work with a lot of clients and I'm like, all right, bro, let's get started. What dating apps are you on? And they're like, oh, like Tinder. And I'm like, okay, and? And they're like, oh, just Tinder. I'm like, are you an idiot?

7:02 There's Tinder, Bumble, Match, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel. There's tons of them. You should have as many hooks in the sea as you possibly can. Because remember, from quantity comes quality. And what that means is you want to load a lot of girls into the top of your funnel. And then out the bottom will come the quality ones. And you have to remember, too, that dating chicks is super fickle. Like my clients always ask me, why is this girl flaking? She's not interested.

7:32 I'm like, how many girls are you talking to? One. Well, bro, like you're in a bad situation because now suddenly all your bread is in that basket. Well, what's that going to do? It's going to make you act the wrong way. But if you have six breads of basket, or better yet, ten breads of baskets, breads of baskets, so let's go with it, then you're going to have a better result because you don't really care. Like if you lose this one, meh, no big deal. And the interesting thing is when you say, meh, no big deal, that tenth basket is actually going to be more interested in you.

8:03 Thus, the possibility of you losing it is going to go down. You see how that works? So we want an abundance, okay? Abundance from the online. Then I want you guys to put yourself in a situation where there's a continuous stream of girls coming into your life. Maybe you do yoga, or you get a new job where you can meet lots of girls. I have a lot of advice about that that I kind of say for my premium clients, but a basic introduction to this is, is you want a continuous stream of updating girls that are attracted to you because you're in the alpha position, and they'll get lost after you sleep with them and piss them off.

8:38 There's a lot of different situations you can put yourself in, but it's important that you're in the alpha position and you're meeting tons of girls so that your pipeline is constantly updating, right? Like girls are constantly coming in. You're not like needy. You're not thirsty. You're talking to plenty of different chicks. The conversations are just for your own entertainment. You don't give a shit what happens. When you do that, you two are going to have deep success with girls. Okay, number four, I was never, ever, ever needy for her validation, for her compliments, or for her approval.

9:11 Now, I learned this the hard way with my first girlfriend, who you guys who know me, she broke up with me, broke my heart. I was on the corner of my bed in the cannonball position, crying like a school girl, letting out a little toot every five minutes because I was like whimpering so much. Oops, right? So I was totally devastated. And what I realized from that is I expected her to give me validation. Oh my God, the things that I said to this girl. I'm surprised, dude, that I lasted nine months.

9:40 I'm surprised she didn't break up with me after one month because I was pathetic. I would be like, hey, do you think I have a good body? Do you think I'm as muscular as him or as good looking as him? Do you enjoy spending time with me? Are you sure like I'm a good boyfriend, right? Like these horrible, horrible questions. So when I learned that the hard way, and because I learned that lesson the hard way, it was one of the best lessons I've ever learned.

10:05 And frankly, I'm thankful for it. But because I learned that the hard way, I never did it again. Never, ever would ask for validation. Never, ever seek compliments, right? Like try to compliment her to fish a compliment back towards me. No, I wouldn't do that. Never seek her approval. As men, our approval comes from within ourselves, right? Masculinity generates. That's what testosterone does. That's why I say, be your own hero. You need to approve yourself. You do not care what she thinks of you. And they can feel that from you.

10:39 And when they feel that from you, they get attracted to you. Okay, step number five. Girls always came second for me in my life. They were never a priority. I don't care how banging she was. I don't give a shit how awesome she was. Even Marissa, my current girlfriend, she's still not number one. She knows that. She knows that my purpose, this podcast, for example, what I'm doing in my life, helping men, that's number one for me. That always comes first. Now, Shirley, okay? I live with the chick.

11:08 We have a kid together. Obviously, if she needs my help, like right now, it's 11, 18 p.m. Okay, I'm filming a podcast. I have the baby monitor sitting right here next to me. If the baby starts crying, obviously, I'm going to go pick her up. If Marissa runs into this room and her head is on fire, obviously, I'm going to first finish the podcast and then put out her head. No, I'm just kidding. I'm obviously going to help her out. I mean, come on, let's be realistic here.

11:34 But ultimately, my life and my purpose comes first. You know, that comes first. Family comes quickly after, but that comes first. Now, when you're dating a girl, like she should come even lower down on your priorities list. And that's a podcast I'm going to do in the future as well, your hierarchy of priorities. What are you putting as your top priority in your life? Well, many guys put a girl as their main priority. They adjust their schedule for her. They look for ways to hang out with her all the time.

12:04 They always invite her over. They're always available. That's highly, highly unattractive. Frankly, I would rather be with my boy in the woods hunting. And we got freaking two hunting permits for this coming September. One in Wyoming and one in Colorado for elk, archery elk. And man, I am so excited. All I'm doing is like watching YouTube videos on it. I'm out front of my house practicing my bow skills. I'm getting ready, getting all my camouflage ready to go. I can't freaking wait. I'm like obsessed with it.

12:32 I'm looking at knives, like, you know, all this stuff with outdoor stuff. I'm totally obsessed. And that really attracts Marissa, right? Like I'll be sitting upstairs watching Supercross, which is like motorcycle racing. And I'll be like looking at knives and shit. And so I'll kind of giggle and shake her head. And like, you know, she makes fun of me for it. But at the same time, it's highly, highly attractive because like I'm passionate about what I do. My life comes first, my purpose. So when you really get into your life, when you really get into your hobbies, and it's like, man, lady, like if you're not here, it really wouldn't be the end of the world.

13:06 That's super duper attractive to women because it shows ambition, passion. Both of those are very attractive. All right. Now, this is the big one, boys. This is the huge one right here that always, always got girls super duper attracted to me. And that was this. I was not needy for sex. I was not needy for sex. In fact, I would be the one that would usually stop things from physically escalating. I would be the one that would pull back. I would be the one that would say, hey, let's, let's, let's slow down here.

13:40 You know, we barely know each other and we'll, maybe we'll, we'll catch up next time and see what happens. I was actually today, I was working out and I was listening to, uh, do you remember that band from the nineties? I'm sure you do. Limp Bizkit, right? Limp Bizkit. So I was listening to some Limp Bizkit. Hey, I'm 43 years old. That was kind of like around my time. And there's this one song that's called the only one, the only one by Limp Bizkit. And the song basically talks about how he's knocked home runs out plenty of times on the first date.

14:10 Like he's had sex with tons of girls on the first day. And I believe him because, you know, he was the lead singer for Limp Bizkit. And so he doesn't need to do it again. Right. And that's what the song talks about. Look it up. It's a pretty good song. The only one. And it talks about like, Hey, no need to knock another home run out because I've done it. I've done it a hundred times. I want to see if you're good enough for me. Like, I want to see if you're up to my standards, if you deserve me.

14:35 Yeah, that's how the line goes. Like, I need to see if you deserve me. And that's the way I felt like, bro, like you need to think that that penis in your pants right now, that's the prize, not her vagina. No, no, no. Your penis is the prize. That red helmeted warrior in your pants. You're not going to just shove it into any girl for a myriad of reasons. First of all, you have standards. Second of all, if you're slightly like me, you don't want to get gonorrhea, hepatitis or herpes.

15:00 So you're very particular about it. What I would do is I would always make girls wait. Now, I'm not talking wait like weeks or months. Like I'd usually knock it out on the third or fourth date. But if I could hit it on the first date, honestly, it was kind of a bad thing for me. Like that's kind of a couple points off towards the girl because then she's hitting other dudes on the first date, isn't she? So when we would be like making out, I'd be like, Hey, that that's it for me.

15:24 I got a early day tomorrow. I'm going to go ahead and wrap this up, but I'll text you. Right. And meanwhile, she's wondering like, Oh my God, I do something wrong. Like what's going on. And it would always get them massively attracted to me because no guy ever does that. Right. What guy does that to a girl? Like stops the physical escalations before she does. Now, clearly I wouldn't like hurt her feelings with it. I wouldn't make it seem like she had bad breath or she kissed bad or anything like that.

15:50 I'd just be like, Hey, you know, like I respect you. I want to see where this goes. I think that relationships that start fast and fast. So let's go ahead and slow down. We got time and I'm going to go ahead and, uh, and cut out of here. So have a good night. How many guys do that? I've had girls tell me later, be like, Oh my God, no guy's ever done that to me. And I'm like, yeah, I understand. Cause guys are naturally very thirsty for sex, but when you're not thirsty for sex, it does something in their psychology that totally messes them up.

16:19 And this is the way to get blowjobs quickly to get sex quickly. It's like, almost like when you say no to it, they throw it at you even faster. So here comes step number seven, which actually is the biggest, biggest, biggest thing that got me retarded success with girls. You know what that was? It was getting a girlfriend. So when I got Marissa and I've been with Marissa for a little while now, I kept going to the bars. I kept teaching infield pickup. As you know, I like to go out, as I said earlier and like get girls attracted to me, right?

16:53 Well, Marissa and I had some rules. Okay. So I couldn't touch the girls, definitely couldn't kiss them, obviously couldn't take their phone number. And, and that's what had to happen. So it was all like talking. I would talk, talk, talk. Now I didn't want to say certain things because I felt it was disrespectful and I still do feel it's disrespectful to Marissa. So like I curtailed my game to be more push, push oriented. Like we would never get along. Why don't you have a boyfriend? It's probably because you're a bad kisser, huh?

17:24 So in my teaching, if you've been listening, I teach push, pull. Half the time you push, half the time you pull, pulling, pull her into you. Well, a lot of mine was push because I had to adjust my game so that I didn't feel like I was emotionally cheating on my girlfriend. Well, brother, the results, I could not freaking believe the results. Girls would freaking go crazy. Okay. So I would go to the bar every Thursday night and girls would show up to see me because they want stimulation, right?

17:54 And I was great stimulation because my conversation was awesome. I knew how to flirt. I'd fucking crack them up and then I'd take it away from them, right? So like when they're cracking up, boom, I'd walk away right when I had them, like, like on the edge of their seat, I'd take it away from them. And I always use the mixed signals, the same things that girls do to us to get them like really emotionally high, but they can never have me. And I wouldn't tell them I had a girlfriend.

18:20 Here's why. If you tell a girl you have a girlfriend, fucking she vanishes into thin air. Like she's on Star Trek, dude. Like goodbye. I like the second. Okay. So what happened is this is typically how it'd go. I'll go to the bars every week, get a girl. Let's say her name's Kelly. Okay. Get Kelly attracted to me. And I'd be like, and she'd be like, well, can I get your number? I'd be like, nah, like I don't really date girls that I meet at the bars, but I'll be here next Thursday.

18:47 So why don't you come? Sure enough, dude. Fucking Kelly comes walking in. I'm talking to other girls. I talked to Kelly, like, like pump her state, pump her state, get a super attracted. And then she'd be like, well, come on, let's hang out. Like I'm free this weekend. Give me your number. And I'll be like, ah, like I said last week, you know, I don't really, I don't really date girls that I meet at the bars. So I do this to girls three, four, five, sometimes six weeks, sometimes months, depending on how much they could take.

19:14 Right. So eventually they really push it. And I've had girls yell at me. I remember I got thrown up against a brick wall. I can remember this. Like it was yesterday. Many times I've been yelled at, but this particular one, she fucking like threw his little girl to a little Mexican, fucking hot chick. She threw me against the wall. She's like, you better fucking give me your number. I'm so sick of this. You leading me on da, da, da, da, da. And then dude, I had to tell her, I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

19:39 Okay, relax. Take, take a moment to get over this whole thing. I'll wait. There you go. Okay. Now that you're relaxed, I want to let you know that I can't do that. And she's like, why? Like we've been totally getting along. We're like, we're clearly attracted to each other. Why? And I'm like, I'm kind of seeing somebody. And she fucking sticks her middle finger in my face. Fuck you. And she walks out and I was like, Ooh, tough one. But sometimes I had to drop the bomb.

20:05 Like, Hey, I have a girlfriend, right? The second you say girlfriend, they disappear, man. They walk away, they, they leave and they never come back. So when I say to you that you want to be in a situation where you have a continuous stream of updating girls that will go away once you piss them off, that's kind of what I'm talking about, right? You don't want to shit where you eat. That's why I never suggest fishing off the company pier, which basically means snagging girls out of work.

20:35 But if you can be in a situation where she can leave on her own accord, like maybe working in a bar, for example, or in my case, just going to the bar and teaching pickup, it was perfect. Cause like there would always be new chicks coming in. The old chicks would leave and I would always flirt, flirt, flirt, push, push, push, flirt, flirt, flirt. Hey, come next Thursday, come next Thursday. We can't do that for you. I mean, I kind of feel like a douche about it.

20:59 Cause I pissed off some serious, serious girls, man. Like I've, uh, Oh, you know what you never want to do is show them where you park your car. Ooh, boy. I showed a couple of girls where I parked. That was a big mistake. Letters on the car. I didn't get my car keyed. Cause see, here's the thing is I never made out with them, never touched them, never, never let them on in any way whatsoever, except for my flirting. But dude, they found out where I parked my car.

21:24 I had to move parking garages. Cause like they would leave, leave notes in my car. One chick was waiting at my car. Once I get up there and there was a chick there and I was like, Oh my hell, this girl, Hey, listen, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. I can't. Then I told her I had a girlfriend that disappears in the hyperspace. Right? So, um, anyway, the point is this, is that when you push them away, now I know this sounds counterintuitive, especially you guys who are kind of like beginning, but when you do push them away, they're going to get really, really attracted to that.

21:57 They'll even fall in love with you. Another quick story. I've had a girl literally tell me, I've had several girls tell me this. I fucking hate you, but I'm in love with you. I've literally heard that sentence multiple times. And this happened when I got a girlfriend and I couldn't hook up with them. I couldn't give them that release that they were looking for. So it's like, I'm building tension, tension, tension, sexual tension, um, attraction, attraction. And then they just want to fuck the shit out of me and I won't do it.

22:28 What guy does that? What guy does that? Nobody does that. So it like fucks with the female psychology. They're like, they like break down, right? Like cannot compute. And then it just like massive fucking attraction results because of it. This is how you get a girl to be so obsessed with you. And some of my pickup artist friends do this. Get a girl so obsessed with you that it's 3am. You're a little horny. You want to get your dick sucked. You call up a solid nine Instagram model.

23:00 She gets up and says, she's like, what's going on? You're like, Hey, you want to come over? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I just woke up, but, but I'll come over. Okay, cool. See you in like an hour. Well, okay. She'll get out of bed. She'll put on her makeup. She'll drive like 45 minutes to come to your house or half an hour or whatever and suck your dick. And then you'll be like, oh, great. And then you fall asleep. I'm telling you, this is how you get to that level.

23:24 It's by keeping them at arm's length, pushing them away. Now, I want to say a quick caveat to this is you have to have charisma. You have to have game. You need to build the sexual tension. All the things that I talk about, you're not going to just like have no game and then like somehow push the start, the cute Starbucks girl away and like ignore her. And then this is going to work out for you. So first you need to obviously approach them. That's the thing you need to approach them.

23:50 Get them attracted to you. Drop all the gambits and game that I teach both on this podcast, but specifically in my coaching, do all the things we teach, but don't let them have you. That's the formula. That's the secret to getting deep, deep success and deep, deep attraction from girls. All right, guys, in closing, I always try to deliver balance with my podcast, right? So in this podcast, it was very push oriented, keeping her at arm's length, giving her mixed signals, never letting her truly have you.

24:20 And what I want to do later in the week is I want to release a podcast about how to be likable, how to give charisma, how to be funny, because that's the thing is a balance. Like I just said about the Starbucks example, you can't just push, push us the whole time. You got to give value, be attractive, make her laugh, get her into these emotions. And that takes some pull, doesn't it? So later on, I'm going to release an episode about how to be funny.

24:45 I think I'm going to call it like the three pillars of being likable, something like that, something clickbaity like that. So please stick around and check that out. So if you found any value in this podcast whatsoever, I'd very much appreciate a review if you could write something about what you found useful for other guys to find it. And I feel I want this to be a movement. You know, I want it to be the unapologetic man movement. And like my podcast that I filmed last week, I want to get this message out that we shouldn't be apologetic for being men.

25:13 I want to help guys like you raise your masculinity, raise your attractiveness. I want to help you guys become the best versions of yourselves. And the more guys I can help, the better it's going to be as a society, the better we're going to help the world together. And one way to do that is to leave me a review. So if you could do that, please email me coachmarksing, M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G at gmail.com. I will send you a bunch of awesome programs, some videos. I'll smack you on the ass.

25:40 I'll get your name tattooed on my neck. And of course, songs will be written about you. That will be song around campfires for generations to come. All right, guys, thank you so much for listening. And I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.