The Mind Hack to 50X Your Success With Women

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me. If you've been writing with me for a long time, you know what to do. Smack yourself upside the head. You are a goddamn champion. And if this is your first time listening, welcome. What I try to do in this podcast is give the best information in the most succinct way possible, get you going, get you understanding, so that you can go out and become the best version of yourself you can be, meet the kind of women you want to meet, and choose from abundance rather than scarcity.

0:51 Today, we are talking about one of the most important things when it comes to getting women attracted to you, and how to hack the system so that you can become attractive in exponentially quicker time. Now, today's topic has been spoken about here and there in previous episodes, but I don't have one episode that is completely designated to this one topic, so I want to post it here because this is so unbelievably important. So, for those of you who have been listening for quite some time, you've probably heard a lot of this before, but this is so important that you should definitely listen again because I'm telling you, if you can understand this and go out and deploy it with courage and a towards mentality, you are going to get results with women that you never dreamed possible in record time.

1:37 So, please take what I'm about to say to heart because this isn't a joke, this isn't some gimmick, this isn't some stupid thing that I'm trying to make you do to look like an idiot. This really, really works, and I'm going to tell you why as we move forward through this podcast. Before I jump into that, I want to thank you guys once again for the awesome reviews. I got an email this morning from a man named Dr. Sullivan. What is up, Dr. Sullivan? And he's like, yo, Mark, love your content.

2:02 I shared it with my 13-year-old kid to prevent him from having the typical stumbling blocks that I myself went through so that he can become a girl magnet by the time he's 16 and just crushing it. And I was like, yeah, man, that's what I love to hear. It's such an honor to be able to mentor a young man like that. And you're a freaking champion, Dr. Sullivan, if you recognize the validity of the things I talk about. And you're actually sharing it with your son. What a good father, man.

2:30 I can't think of anything better than that. It's passing on these messages to the young generation that gets me the most fired up. So, thank you very much for doing that. I really do appreciate it. Dr. Sullivan, we have an emergency penis tear in the emergency room. Dr. Sullivan, please show up for an emergency penis repair in the emergency room. Just kidding with you, brother. But once again, thank you for that. And you guys, all of you who have left me reviews, I do tip my hat to you.

2:54 Songs will be written about you that will be sung around campfires for generations to come. I'm going to get your name tattooed on my butt and I'm going to get a statue of you put in my backyard. All right, without further ado, guys, let's go ahead and jump into the content. So, what is the secret mind hack that is going to get you exponentially better with women in an exponential amount of time? That is social pressure. Now, I have talked about this a lot before and I think it's so important that I need to designate an entire episode to it.

3:23 Social pressure means your ability to endure that pressure you feel when you're talking to a hot girl, when you're asking somebody for something, when you're in a sales pitch, when you're trying to negotiate, or any other situation that generally makes you uncomfortable. Okay, so what happens? Well, when you're in an uncomfortable social situation, adrenaline gets dumped into your brain. When that adrenaline gets dumped into your brain, you can't think straight. I call it screen saver mode. You basically can't think of what to say. You get stifled.

3:55 Everything you've learned from me, you forget. And you basically turned into jackass mode. We've all been there and it's usually what prevents us from getting a girl attracted to us. This also happens in quote-unquote uncomfortable social situations, most of which people will do just about anything to avoid. Now, one of the most important things that you need to be able to do to get a girl attracted to you is to show her that you're less affected by the social pressure situation than she is. So, literally, if you can simply be more calm than she is, she will probably get attracted to you.

4:28 Why is this? Because in an interaction between two people, one person is controlling the frame and the other person is going along with the frame. Well, the person who is controlling the frame, that is to say the person who is leading the conversation, who has less invested in it, who is basically the masculine presence in that conversation, is the one who is being less reactive. I want to say that again. The person who is controlling the frame is the one who is being less reactive and the one who is being less reactive, what comes with that is he or she is the most calm.

5:02 Okay. So, we look at a hot girl, right? What happens when we see a hot girl? We get nervous. We get intimidated. And then we go into screensaver mode. We turn into a bumbling jackass. Well, are we the most calm compared to her when we're speaking to her when we're in jackass mode? No, we're fidgeting, we're looking weird, we're stumbling over our words. Via our body language, it's very clear that we're uncomfortable speaking to her. So, she immediately thinks, okay, this guy is being affected by my beauty.

5:30 He's gone straight into jackass mode. He is essentially a sea donkey and he is not attractive because of that. But, if we can just be completely normal, as normal as I am speaking to you right now, our tonality has an authoritative tone to it, which means it goes down at the end, we're not fidgeting, we have very relaxed body language, we might even slow down our speech a little bit to show that we're completely comfortable with the conversation. When we communicate that, she gets more attracted to us.

6:00 Why is that? Because those who can endure social pressure are telegraphing the fact that they are successful in society. Those who are successful in society are usually in power positions. They're usually the leader of men. They're usually guys who have a certain belief in themselves where they don't get intimidated by A, being in front of a hot girl, B, being in high-pressure social situations, God, that was hard to say, like doing a sale or something like that, and C, feeling justified to ask for things, feeling justified to be there, feeling justified for being an unapologetic man.

6:34 So when a woman is there listening to you talk, it's not what you say, it's how you say it. It's your delivery, it's your tonality, it's your body language, and it's your calmness. Here's a golden rule. She needs to be reacting more to you than you're reacting to her. How do you do that? Well, first of all, by teasing her, busting her chops, and letting her react more by you being more calm. Okay, so we understand why attraction works that way. To sum it up, the calmer you are, the less you react.

7:06 The person who is reacting less is the one controlling the frame. A woman cannot become attracted to you unless you're controlling the frame. So, to conclude, you have to be more relaxed than she is. You have to be calmer. You have to be less affected by the social pressure in order for her to be attracted to you. Okay, we understand that. Now, for me just to tell that to you, that's one thing. For you to actually do it, that's quite another. You can understand these concepts all day long, but until you actually go out and practice them, before you go out and actually flex your social pressure muscle, feel the burn.

7:41 Just like you'd feel the burn in the gym, with the muscle that you're trying to build that way, not until you do that are you going to get good with women in this way. So, that leads us into the practice of actually building that social pressure muscle. A lot of you know what I'm about to say. You have to, unequivocally, without excuse, put yourself in high social pressure situations. Okay, so how do we do that? Well, first of all, a lot of us are afraid of conflict.

8:07 We're afraid of confrontation. I mean, you hear people talk about it all the time. Oh, I don't like confrontation. I don't want to argue with that person. I don't want to be confrontational. Let me just float through life like a leaf on the river and try to make the less waves as possible. Those are people who don't get money, who don't get laid, who don't get women, who don't get respect, who don't get leadership roles. The simple fact of the matter is, is you have to put yourself outside your comfort zone in many different ways, but in this instance, socially, in order for you to become exceptionally attractive to women, and by the way, in order for you to make an exceptional amount of money, there is no succeeding with women in your comfort zone.

8:47 There is no making millions of dollars in your comfort zone. You have to push yourself. How do we push ourselves? Again, by putting ourselves purposefully in these high-pressure social situations. Okay, so, disagreeing with people, doing something that isn't societally acceptable, making a fool of yourself, doing something that makes people mad at you, and talking to hot girls. So, starting at an easy place, what I want to suggest to you guys is, I want you to ease into this, like an old man into a warm bath.

9:19 I'm not going to have you go open a solid 10 on your first night out, and then get blown out so hard, your toupee flies off when the concussion hits. No, what I want you to do is start systematically. Start where you are. A lot of you guys are absolutely terrified of getting rejected. You're terrified of confrontation. You're terrified of anything that would even resemble stepping outside of society's norms. Okay, so for you guys, I suggest you start very small. Here are some things you can do.

9:48 One example that I often tell my clients is to simply whistle when you're in a supermarket. Okay, it's not horrible. People aren't going to ostracize you. They may look at you a little weird. They may think, oh, that guy's a douche. He's whistling in here. But it's not like you're going to really risk getting blown out super bad. And that's the place I want you to start, is to do something very minimal, something pretty easy that most of us can do, and go whistle in a place you shouldn't be whistling.

10:14 You can also talk very loudly. I used to have a girlfriend who was extremely loud. She would have like a really loud laugh. She would talk really loudly. And I used to get like all uncomfortable. And this is before I got into game. Well, what I realized later is I was like, that chick was great training for me because while she was loud and I was carrying so much about what other people think, I was feeling social pressure. So instead, what I should have done is just sat there and be like, this is cool.

10:39 This is cool. And I even talk loud myself sometimes. And that's what you should do too. Talk loudly. Laugh loudly. Let yourself be heard. It's the alpha male. And this is interesting. The alpha male is usually the loudest guy in the group. Not obnoxiously loud, but he's usually the guy you can hear because he's not afraid of being ostracized. He's not afraid of being judged. He's cool to just be himself and let his voice go. And because of that, women intrinsically understand that he's not abiding by the social pressure of, oh, Jimmy, be quiet.

11:13 Oh, Jimmy, don't make waves. Oh, Jimmy, you should lower your voice. No, he doesn't give a fuck. He's his own man. He's unapologetic. So he lets his voice go. So there's an exercise you can do as well. Let your voice go. Talk as loud as you want to. Another thing you can do is fart. How embarrassing is that to let a fart in public? And even better, throw your leg up on your friend's shoulder and let one rip, bro. Just go ahead and do it and feel that social pressure.

11:40 When you feel that disgusting feeling and I get it right in my chest, it's that gross feeling like, oh, I'm so embarrassed. Even my cheeks get red. That's when you're growing. It's the exact same thing as doing a set in the gym. When you feel that burn in your biceps and you just keep going and you feel that burn, that's when the muscle is growing. It's getting micro tears in it to which later are going to repair. It's the same damn thing with social pressure. When you feel that micro tear get put into your social pressure muscle, it's building up.

12:12 So the next time something happens, it's not a big deal. The reason I'm filming this podcast is because my boy Nick came on the podcast and talked about how he was a rock star. He went from alpha to beta and then back to alpha again. Well, one of the ways he quickly hacked the system is he started pushing, putting social pressure on himself. Now, what he did was pretty damn gnarly, but I'm going to tell you what he did. He went into a food court and sang out loud in an acapella voice.

12:39 Excuse me, Nick, if I'm mistaken on that. I don't know my singing tonalities, but let's just call it acapella. And he sang The Hills Are Alive with the sound of music. Like the hills are alive, like really loud in a food court. Totally embarrassing. But when he walked out of there, he just went up 200 points in attraction. And that's crazy. It literally took one minute, one minute of social pressure, extreme social pressure. It's the sword going into the fire, isn't it? And then getting hammered a couple of times.

13:09 That's what sharpens your steel. That's what strengthens your steel. And when you come out of that fire, you walk out and you pat yourself on the back. Job well done, my dude. What are you going to do to put social pressure on yourself? Here are some tips. First of all, again, start small. Ease into it like that loaf you pinched the other day that just refused to come out. You want to ease into it real slowly. So first, doing something slightly socially unacceptable. Couple tips. Ask for things on top of what you're getting already.

13:40 The other day, I was getting an oil change and everybody could hear me. There was a bunch of people in the waiting room. And I said, hey, can I get that for free, please? Or could I at least get a discount? That's high social pressure because you're not supposed to ask for those discounts. Why don't you go ask for a discount at McDonald's? Ask for a discount at Walmart. Ask for something on top of what you're getting at a restaurant. Like you order something and say, hey, would you mind throwing in a dessert on top of that?

14:05 Ask for something that makes you feel social pressure. Speak up when you don't agree with somebody. So if somebody says something, particularly when you feel like they're not treating you with respect, when they're not treating you right, speak up. And I want to say this, not with anger, with assertiveness. Remember assertive Alan and aggressive Adrian? You want to be assertive Alan up in this motherfucker and say, yo, I don't accept that. The other day, we were being treated horribly at a Kona Grill. And I went up and I talked to the manager and I just said, listen, our waiter forgot about us.

14:37 This is unacceptable. We've been sitting here for half an hour and we haven't even gotten our drinks yet. So honestly, brother, I think it's probably the right thing to do is to comp our drinks and comp our meal. What do you think? And he's like, oh yeah, totally. I totally agree with that. So when you become more assertive and stand up for yourself, not only do you get to feel that social pressure and build the social pressure muscle, but you also get a ton of shit on top of it because most people don't speak up for themselves.

15:03 They just cower in the corner because they don't want to make waves. The way for you to speed your progress into excellence with women is to make waves, to be societally uncomfortable, to put social pressure on yourself and build that social muscle just like it's a muscle in your body. Nick from my podcast on Monday also did this experiment and I do this myself is go into Best Buy or Walmart or the supermarket and simply lay down in an aisle. That's right. Lay down completely on your back with your head on the floor and lay there for a minute straight and people are going to walk by you.

15:39 They're going to look at you crazy. You're going to feel that social pressure and I want you to remember this when you're doing these experiments. Every second that goes by you're getting more attractive to women. Why? Going back to what I talked about because bro you were just laying in the goddamn aisle in Best Buy for a minute straight people looking at you like you're crazy totally embarrassed your cheeks red that feeling in your chest of horribleness because you have that social pressure then when you see a fucking nine over at Macy's next door and you go talk to her it's nothing it's nothing compared to that.

16:12 When Nick went in that food court and sang that song I guarantee you he went up months or even years just like that. So this literally is a hack. You put yourself in embarrassing situations. Furthermore what I would often do with my clients when we went out in field I would take clients into field into the bars and the nightclubs is we would make just a big joke out of it to go up to a girl and say something completely stupid and purposely get blown out and then we would all come back to each other and high five each other and celebrate because then you realize like getting blown out getting that social pressure on yourself it's no big deal if you're having fun with it and that's the big key is you're there for your own entertainment and that's important with women too is your entertainment yes you the listener is the number one fucking most important thing.

17:01 Be self-entertained do it for you don't do it for anybody else so when you're laying in the middle of Best Buy you should be cracking up and be like dude I can't believe I'm doing this and then when you get up literally right there and then be like fuck yeah I'm proud of you man I went into the supermarket the other day and I picked up an orange and I held it up high and I'm like this orange looks delicious on the top of my lungs and what happened people look up at me and they immediately look back down oh I don't want to get involved with that guy oh he's crazy they don't want the social pressure of dealing with me so if you think dude people are gonna like they're gonna say stuff to me they're gonna kick me out no they're not why because the second they confront you they themselves are stepping into the same level of social pressure that you just imposed upon yourself nobody wants to deal with that so you get ignored and on top of it you realize nobody fucking cares all anybody cares about is themselves they don't care about what you're doing they don't care about your failures your successes they care about selfishly themselves what's in it for me what's this got to do with me I don't want to get involved with that guy because he's weird and who gives two shits if they think you're weird I want you to be proud of yourself because you have the balls to do this so I'm challenging each of you to put that social pressure on yourself purposely over the next few weeks and the next few months I guarantee you for those few guys who are listening to this those few champions those few fucking warriors that are going to take what I say and go do it and the rest of you guys who are going to bitch out and not do this those few warriors are going to fucking take strides ahead of you other guys they're going to leave you in the dust you guys were running money for the cancer prevention of dogs in Saudi Arabia and then you just take off dude and you do a hundred more laps than homeboy and then you show up next to him again and be like oh that was easy I literally did a minute of social pressure and I just went up a hundred levels beyond you because you didn't have the courage to do it so I'm challenging each of you do something that embarrasses you clap while you're walking through a crowd whistle talk really loudly lay down in an aisle throw a leg up on the bench out your local gym and just let a fart bro can you imagine the social pressure that entails then also what you want to do is start approaching women giving them compliments putting yourself more and more in social pressure this is how you build up to hotter and hotter girls it's systematic exposure this is the way you do anything if you're terrified of snakes the way you get to touch a snake is you first look at a picture at one then you go stand by one that's an aquarium then you open the top of the aquarium then you reach inside and touch its tail and before you know it in a week you're holding the damn thing and you're not afraid of it systematic exposure so start small even by just standing up for yourself asking for something asking for a deal negotiating where you shouldn't negotiate that's where you start and then you continuously up the ante and before you know it you're going to be like Nick in the food court singing like a god damn champion so this is the hack guys you know there is no easy way around it I know you guys will want to do anything other than this but I challenge you and not only am I going to challenge you but I'm going to offer you to write me an email and say yo Mark this is what I did and if it's good enough I'll talk about it on the next podcast and for any of you guys who put yourself outside your comfort zone I want you to email me coachmark sing at gmail dot com and I will send you the conversation sniper as well as a few other programs if it's really good because I want to encourage you guys to get this part of your life settled now don't blame me I don't want to be responsible for anything I need to put a disclaimer on this make sure it's safe make sure it doesn't hurt anybody I'm not responsible for anything crazy but I want you guys to do something that is social pressure societally unacceptable legally okay need to put that out there this is all legal I'm not responsible for what you choose to do socially put pressure on yourself email me I will send you some stuff and once again I really want to say don't do anything illegal now don't be going crazy out there like ah Mark said I should really put that social pressure on myself well how about I rob a bank that's a lot of social pressure could you imagine the adrenaline if I rob a bank then I'm going to get 10 times more attracted to women that's not what I'm talking about you throwing your leg up on your shoulder and launching one that's about the level we want to get to with this so take it under consideration I'm looking forward to seeing which champions will email me I'm looking forward to seeing which one of you has the balls to do this because I'll tell you it's you who will do this that is going to get success not only with women but in life because it's your ability to put yourself outside your comfort zone that is going to dictate your future success guaranteed every single time all right guys that's it for me in this podcast I hope you found it entertaining as well as enlightening I cannot stress enough how damn important this is this was an absolute game changer where I was concerned and now it's like when I went up to that manager and said yo like homeboy forgot about us I didn't feel any social pressure at all because I have been talking to tens for years I have been putting myself in these social pressure situations all the time it just makes you better in every way it's going to make you better with women it's going to make you a better friend it's going to make you a better man in society because you're unapologetic about being who you are unapologetic about being confrontational assertive a girl magnet going out to a woman you find attractive putting yourself in high pressure social situations while you may feel people are judging you they're actually respecting you because you have the balls to do it alright boys that's it for me in this one I do thank you again if you leave me a review please email me at coachmark sing at gmail dot com and I will send you some awesome shit so if you leave me a review preferably a five star review with writing behind it those are my favorite I will send you a bunch of stuff and once again if you do this social pressure challenge I will send you a bunch of stuff as well so looking forward to hearing from you boys good luck out there remember I'm standing behind you with my arms crossed looking at you being like do it dude do it come on bro go go do it do it and you're gonna do it and you're gonna smack yourself on the chest and be like fuck yeah dude I'm a fucking warrior that's right bro you are a warrior I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourself and I will see you in the next episode you

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.