THIS Will Separate You From 99% of Other Guys: Mark's "NTBFW" Strategy With Girls

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And today, we are going to talk about the concept of NTBFW, November, Tango, Bravo, Foxtrot, Whiskey. What does it mean? Not to be fucked with. We need to show women right off the bat that you, my friend, are not to be fucked with because they will test you.

0:39 It's actually part of their nature to do so, and we as humans do it to each other. So we're going to talk all about that today. Before I jump into the content, no, I am not going to read yet another testimonial for my three-month coaching program. But instead, I'm going to talk about giving people the benefit of the doubt because Liam, and by the way, Liam is my podcast editor. You fucked up, bro, Tendo. You published the last episode on Sunday rather than Monday. What the fuck are you doing out there, man?

1:06 God damn it. I looked on my phone, and it's like newly published. And I was like, what in the living hell? It was supposed to go live on Monday. So what did I do, gentlemen? I immediately assumed it was my mistake because Liam and I, we worked together on this spreadsheet where I basically put the title, because I title these myself. I used to be a copywriter after all, and I'm pretty good at putting titles that are clickable. And I also put the date that it's supposed to be published.

1:30 So I immediately assumed, I was like, ah, Liam is so on point. The dude is like such a great editor. He also writes the descriptions for each episode. And sometimes it's funny because you could totally tell the dude is from England. And I really like that. It's a little bit different than the way I write, which I really enjoy. So I put the date down, and I assumed that I messed it up because he's so on point. But, Liam, I just checked the date that I've written down.

1:54 5-1-23, Monday. What the fuck were you doing? Of course, I'm just messing with you. This is literally the first mistake out of hundreds of episodes. And I'm not tripping on it, but this is a good lesson for all of us. And the lesson is always give people the benefit of the doubt. When arguments happen, when things go wrong, it's usually due to miscommunication. And oftentimes, it's your fault. So anytime I have an employee that messes up, I always triple check to make sure that it wasn't me who caused them to mess up.

2:23 And anytime there's a miscommunication with a woman, especially, I always take a step back and I say, okay, how could this have happened? How could this argument have happened? How could I have said something that hurt her feelings? Or maybe she did something that pissed me off and she didn't know that she was doing that thing that pissed me off because maybe she was just messing around or she didn't hear the date correctly or she misread my text. I mean, there are so many miscommunications that happen.

2:48 And if you act like a jackass, like I just did and yell at the person, and of course, I was just kidding. Liam, nothing but love. You're a goddamn champion. Many times you end up regretting it because you look like a jackass. You'll say to them, dude, you're trying to make a fool of me. And they're saying, you're making a fool of yourself, bro. Because you're coming all unpeeled and actually coming unpeeled, getting off your inner balance point, getting emotional is part of what we're going to speak about today.

3:13 So Liam, the only advice I would give, and I give it to myself, is always triple check everything. And I know you do, bro. You do a great job. But in this business, mistakes can happen really easily. And I tell my assistant, Danielle, all the time, you got to triple check things because it's so easy to make mistakes. There's all these little intricate details and spreadsheets that we have. You could be talking to a dude named Mike for the last five emails and then a dude named Chris writes in and you call him Mike accidentally.

3:39 That kind of shit makes us look bad. So I always tell my employees, check shit three times, give people the benefit of the doubt, be concise. And when something goes wrong, for God's sakes, don't get butthurt about it. And definitely don't yell at anybody about it, even if the evidence comes back and you are the one who's correct and they're the one who's wrong because you too are going to make a mistake in the future. So let it go, understand how the person may have messed up.

4:04 For all we know, Liam's Premier League football team won a game and he got drunk at the pub and he came back and he made a little mistake. No big deal. These things happen. So let's go ahead and jump into the content. All right, gentlemen. The first point I want to make is the relationship dynamic is set within the first two weeks of dating a girl. In the first two weeks, you guys are getting a feel for each other and she's going to test you it's women's job to test men because women want from their man, a strong frame, a strong sense of reality, a strong sense of who they are and to show them, them being the women that they are not easily emotional and not thrown off what I call your inner balance point, your inner state of centeredness.

4:47 So invariably, she's going to fuck with you a little bit in the first two weeks. She's going to throw some shit out there and see if it affects you. She's going to ask you for favors. She's going to bust your chops a little bit. She's going to try to get a rise out of you. And women do this quite unconsciously because, again, your attractiveness is based on how easily life sways you to and fro by the outside circumstances of your life. So, for example, when Liam made that mistake, if I email him like, bro, what the fuck, dude?

5:15 You dropped it a day early. What do you think? And pay attention, you idiot. And then he's like, hey, man, you know, my grandma passed away last weekend and I was just in shambles and I'm so sorry I did that. I'd feel like the jackass. So you always have to take the higher ground. Literally always, boys. Do you understand how many fucking jackasses come into my inbox and I just sometimes want to rifle just an email like, you are a fucking idiot. Step back and fuck your own mouth, you goddamn pussy.

5:40 I want to write that. But I never do because negativity thrown out there always comes back to bite you in the ass. And it's the same thing with women. I never snap at women. I never insult women. I don't try to make them jealous. I don't play those games. I always take the higher road. So in the first two weeks, she's going to try to mess with you a little bit. Now, if you know anything about my coaching, you know how important frame control is to me and should be to you.

6:06 It's literally the skeleton of what I teach. And it absolutely boggles my mind that literally, listen to this, bro. You won't believe it. If you listen to my shit, you're not going to believe what I'm about to tell you. There are dating coaches out there that don't teach it. Literally, they don't even fucking mention it. And it is the single most important thing when it comes to attracting women. The basic premise is this. And if you don't know a lot about it, I strongly suggest you search my name and the two words frame control and listen to every single goddamn episode I have on it at least twice each, preferably three times.

6:40 You're a legend if you do four each and you fucking master this. Frame control is basically your interpretation of reality. It's how you lead the conversation with other people. And most importantly, at least for this episode, is how much their actions affect you emotionally. Did you know if you get angry, you're basically letting that person control you? If you get emotional, such as road rage, that person just got into your frame. Because frame control not only happens with women, but it happens in outside life. It happens in business.

7:11 It happens in all things. So if you let anybody know that you're upset, that you got irritated by it or even aggravated by it, it shows that they're getting into your frame and it shows you have a weak sense of reality. A guy with a strong sense of reality is internally validated. His emotions are dictated by what's going on inside himself. And he is enthroned to and fro by the outside circumstances of his life. That is essentially frame control. So a woman will come in. She's going to bust your chops a little bit.

7:42 She's going to ask you why you're wearing a certain thing, why you do a certain thing, why you work your job, why you're coming to this nightclub, why you like that sports team, why you're wearing those kinds of shoes, or she's going to ask you for favors. Hey, can you get me a napkin from the bar here? Watch my purse while I do this. Hey, can you please like help me move my house? I'm moving this weekend. You have a truck. Can you please help me move?

8:04 And she's all hot and she's using her hotness to try to get you to do something for her. A guy with a weak frame, a guy who essentially becomes a floor mat, a nice guy, as it were, is going to say, yeah, I could totally do that for you. Yeah, I can get you the napkin from the bar. Yeah, let me buy you a drink. Here, go ahead and go to the bathroom. I'll watch your purse to prove to you that I can protect you. When in reality, boys, you're showing her that you could be a lap dog.

8:28 And for God's sakes, when a girl asks you to help her move or to pick up a couch at American Furniture Warehouse or shave her butthole for her so she could get her tank bleached for her boyfriend, for God's sakes, boys, do not fucking do her the favor. And if you do do her the favor, such as helping a girl move, make her buy you dinner in exchange for doing that favor for her. If she asks you for a napkin from the bar, say, yeah, for sure, but you have to ask me in an Australian accent.

8:55 If she asks you to buy her a drink, say, yeah, I'll definitely buy you a drink. But let's play a game. If you win, I buy the drink. Deal? And she says, deal. And then you guys play a little game. What I like to do is shoot lemon seeds from the bar. You can grab lemons, grab the lemon seed, and who can shoot it the farthest? The person who wins gets the drink bought for them. And that's what a guy with a strong frame does. Now, when it comes to NTBFW, not to be fucked with, a woman is invariably going to try to push your buttons beyond just a frame check, beyond just asking for a favor.

9:30 And you need to show her just that, brother. You are not to be fucked with. For example, you're hanging out with her and she's acting up. And all women will do this. Why? Because women are emotional. Actually, there's a few who don't. One of them is my current woman. She doesn't act up the way like this. She doesn't get bitchy. But, bro, I have been with so many girls who invariably just act up, whether they're on their period, they had a bad day, whatever it is, they're really testing me.

9:58 And what's coming out is essentially their pain body. This is a concept created by Eckhart Tolle where the accumulation of negative energy you have inside of you comes out in certain instances when life throws you something and it pisses you off. Now, obviously, a guy with a perfect frame and a girl with a perfect frame wouldn't be affected by those outside circumstances. They just brush them off, be unaffected and move on. But inevitably, we all get affected from time to time. And women who are more emotional than we are tend to get affected more than we do.

10:32 And they're going to throw the shit at you. If you let that shit slide, she is going to treat you like that for the rest of your relationship. And a lot of you guys listening are nodding your heads fervently right now because you know that you let a little bit slide in the beginning. She acted up and you're like, oh, how can I help you? I'm so sorry to hear that. Or worse yet, oh, I'm sorry I did that. Please don't get mad at me. And then that behavior continues and continues and continues.

10:58 Brothers, if you give them an inch, they take a mile. It's just like raising a child. The child's job is to check your boundaries. And if you show them that you don't have boundaries, they're just going to keep pushing it and pushing it and pushing it until, and you guys have probably all seen this, you're like a high school Spanish teacher who nobody respects. And kids are just talking over her. They're passing notes back and forth. They're fucking throwing balls at each other as we used to do in my Spanish class because that teacher didn't show any boundaries.

11:29 If you're ever in a leadership situation, you need to show them immediately you're not to be fucked with. If they try to do something like come late to one of your meetings, you pull them aside and you say, hey, that won't fly. You come one more time, you're getting written up. I want to have a good relationship with you. But if you pull this, I'm just letting you know it's not going to stand. Then the person's like, oh, okay. The new manager, Mark Singh, isn't to be fucked with.

11:52 So I better show up on time. And then you get the respect right from the beginning. Give an inch, they'll take a mile. And a woman is going to do the same thing to you, particularly when she's dating you and she's testing you and make no mistake, women will test you to see if you're good enough to be her man. Why is she testing you? Because subconsciously, she wants to know that when life slash society slash friends slash your employment pushes you around, are you going to budge or are you going to stand up to them?

12:22 And the best way she can check that is to see if you budge with her. If you don't budge with her, it's almost guaranteed you're not going to budge in other areas of your life. Why? Because women usually have the most effect over us because of our fucking penises. We want to get them wet. We want to get sex. We're so horny we'd fuck a snake if we could hold it straight. So lots of times we supplicate to women. We put the pussy on a pedestal, as it said in the 40-year-old virgin movie.

12:49 And then what happens? We actually get less of the pussy that we so desire. We get more when we show them we're not to be fucked with. Perfect example. Many times, I've had this happen probably a dozen or two dozen times. I'll pick a girl up. We're about to go on a date. It's probably like, I don't know, two weeks in. We've had sex a few times, but she's seen me talking to other girls. Maybe she's heard about my reputation. She's a little bit pissed off.

13:14 So instead of coming to me like a mature adult and saying, hey, listen, you know, I heard about your reputation, I just want to know what's going on so I don't invest my emotions into a relationship that might collapse. What's going on with that? Women will oftentimes act on their emotions and rationalize it after. So they'll get into my car and I cannot tell you how many times this happened to me. And we're driving and she's just kind of being a bitch, right? She's just being real short with me.

13:41 She's kind of complaining. Whatever it is, she's just being real bitchy. Okay, I'll let it stand for a little while. Why? Because my frame is imperturbable. It's no big deal. I may even call it out and be like, hey, are you all right? Did you have a bad day at work or what's going on with you? And point out the elephant in the room. Just like I talked about in the beginning of this episode, Liam made a little mistake. I'm going to tell him I'm not going to get pissed off at him, but I'm going to point out the elephant in the room.

14:07 Okay, if it continues, you know what I do? I turn the car around and I drop her off and I say, beat it. You're out and she'd be like, why? And I'll be like, because you're being super negative. I'm not putting up with it. Beat it. Kick rocks with your head down. Okay, now again, I don't come with negative energy. I just have my fucking boundary, which says I am not to be fucked with. If you come at me with negative energy without first communicating to me, without coming to me like a mature adult, I'm showing you I'm not to be fucked with and that behavior will not stand.

14:40 How will it not stand? Because I will drop you at the motherfucking drop of a hat. That's why. And that goes into one of my concepts called the drop rule. Boys, you have to be prepared at any turn of the relationship to drop this chick. I was thinking I might do an episode about what to do when a girl cheats on you. Do you know what you do? You fucking drop her and never take her back. Because once a cheater, always a cheater. I don't care what excuses you guys are making for these chicks.

15:07 Drop them. Just like they should drop you. Marissa and I have a very, very clear agreement. If I cheat on her, she's dropping me. If she cheats on me, I'm dropping her. Done. No fucking chance. We are done. And that's called maintaining your boundaries. If you let people flake on you, dick you around, make promises to you and not hold them. And then you're like, okay, well, just don't do it again. Okay. And you're all supplicatory about it and making excuses for them, particularly women, gentlemen.

15:37 They will not respect you and they will continue to fuck with you. Give an inch, they're going to take a mile. So in all your relationships, whether you're dating women or you're about to get a girlfriend or guys who are even married, you can start right now by showing them you're no longer to be fucked with. You can slowly make that change and get the power back in your relationship if you've been relegated to the Mr. Nice Guy status and she walks all over you, hangs her pussy over your head like a carrot dangling in front of a bunny and tries to use that feminine power to control you.

16:11 All you have to show her is it doesn't work on you anymore. And no, you will not stand for that behavior. And or talk to her like a mature adult. Now, when it comes to beginning to date girls, they start this with really small things, little frame checks like I talked about. Why are you wearing those pants? Oh, you came to this nightclub alone? Don't you have any friends? Why are you talking to us? Is that one of your pickup lines? Obviously, boys, I have answers to all those.

16:35 And to encourage you to listen to my other episodes, I'm going to tell you once again, search Mark Singh Frame Control. I have answers to all of those. And those are some of my favorite episodes to both publish as well as listen to because that shit is the shit. And all women are going to do this. Guys, you have to show them you are not to be fucked with. What does that mean? You will drop them like a bad habit now. And I really don't want you to misunderstand.

17:02 It doesn't happen with anger. It's just that barrier that you put out there while maintaining your bearing while continuing to be cool, calm and collected. You simply tell her that behavior will not stand. A couple other things you can do is you can say, hey, listen, when you do X, Y, Z, I'm going to be honest with you. I kind of lose attraction for you when you do that. You can tell her that when you do this, it kind of puts me off and I don't want to be around you.

17:27 That's why I'm dropping you off right now. You can even tell her that an ex used to be that way. And that's the reason you broke up with her. Obviously, I would only say that if it's true. But what I'd say, and this is how I'd preface it, I'd be like, hey, listen, you know, you came into my car today. You were kind of angry towards me. You actually insulted me. You were really negative. And that's why I went ahead and dropped you off. I'm going to be honest with you.

17:50 My ex used to do that. And it's the reason I broke up with her. Now, fortunately, this is the first time I've seen it from you. I understand. Maybe you had a bad day. Maybe you got some bad news. And honestly, I would love to hear from your perspective as to why that happened. But I'm just being honest with you. That's kind of red flag for me. And I'm kind of thinking, you know, maybe this might not be right. And if it isn't, dude, it's fine.

18:11 We can part ways. And I totally understand. I'll be bummed, but we can part ways. So I want to ask you, what happened that day? What was going on? See how I'm approaching her being very calm, but at the same time being like, look, this is my boundary. If you continue behaving like this, we are done. That does not stand. I am N-T-B-F-W not to be fucked with. And that's what I really want you guys to put into your relationships. When a girl acts up, does some shit, tests you, right?

18:39 Says, why are you wearing those pants? Those things are hideous. What would you say to that? If you've listened to my content for any amount of time, you'd say, hey, listen, I know you're trying to take off my pants right now, but we just met. Relax. We don't know each other that well. Okay. You basically reframe it, showing her what? That you're unaffected. That you're not to be fucked with. And not to be fucked with also means they can't get you in the emotions. When your boys take a stab at you and kind of tease you a little bit like, oh, nice haircut, Adam.

19:06 Or dude, don't you ever work your legs? Or man, what kind of douchebag are you? You work that job? Oh, my God. You're so low value. And you get butthurt about it. You get all emotional. Or like what happened in one of my friends' groups the other day is like some guy posted this like angry post. Like, why didn't you include me in your pictures, right? It just communicates that you have a weak frame. And it communicates that we got to you, which shows me where you're at in the pecking order of life.

19:33 On the other hand, when you're imperturbable and nothing can get to you, that also communicates where you're at in the pecking order of life. And I guarantee you, those guys who are really successful, they're imperturbable. I was just watching some Premier League football. Shout out to my boy Liam over in England. Football, of course, is soccer. Premier League is English football, English soccer. And this guy's shoe came off and he's on the sideline. And all these fans are booing him and jeering him from the opposite team.

20:01 He fucking ignored them. Why? Because they're plebs in the cheap seats. They're not being paid millions of dollars. They didn't spend their entire lives developing this skill set to play on Liverpool Football Club. Coming over from Brazil and being worth $25 million. And these fucking plebs are booing at you. You don't even acknowledge them, bro. They can't even get into your reality. Because you're so high above them that their reality doesn't even exist for you. And that's what a fucking alpha male does. He's above all that shit.

20:31 He isn't affected by it. So when girls are going to tease you and bust your chops or even like smack you on the face playfully, if you show that it affects you, you are going to lose their attraction. And if they act up, boys, and you miss the opportunity to NTBFW them, show them you're not to be fucked with, that too is a missed opportunity. Because I guarantee you it's coming. Women are going to do this to you and you have to be ready. Now, again, for those of you who are already in a relationship or perhaps you're dating some girls and you're thinking about settling down with one, you can definitely get the power back in that relationship.

21:08 And power, of course, is in quotations because power isn't the right word. You can get the leadership back in that relationship by simply doing what I just said. No longer being affected by her. No longer being afraid of her bad attitude or her bitching at you because you're going to go do X, Y, Z. Liam, again, my podcast editor, fucking champion. I think he's married or he has a girlfriend. If he wants to go out one night to go watch his favorite football team and his wife, let's just say, acts up in a gigantic way, he would be wise to say, hey, listen, I told you this was happening.

21:41 I'm going to go do it. If you're upset with me, let's go ahead and communicate about it when I get back. I'll see you tonight when I get home. Because he sticks to who he is, he sticks to his boundaries, and he doesn't let her bad attitude sway his decisions. It's just like a child. If you let that child's temper tantrums convince you to get them what they want, you are rewarding bad behavior. That is the worst thing you could do. Those of you who have children know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about.

22:09 When my daughter Lucia has a temper tantrum, I never give her what she wants. I say, Lucia, once you calm down, then we'll talk. Then once she calms down, she comes over to me and I say, what did you want? And she's all into these like stress balls that have miniature balls inside of them. She's got like 50 of them and she keeps wanting us to order more and she likes to cut them open. So she's like, I want to cut them open, daddy. And I said, Lucia, I told you earlier, you could cut open too.

22:34 So we're done for the day. And then if she flips out and then I'm like, oh, okay, let's just cut open two more. Do you think that's good? Hell no, it's not good. I'm creating a monster if I do that. So you as the man have to stick to your guns. You have to show women, friends, people at your business, your future children that you are not to be fucked with. Because when you show them that, you're going to get their respect and then tests will fucking stop completely in their tracks.

23:00 I don't get tested anymore by my girlfriend and all my hot girlfriends because they know I'm not to be fucked with. If you act up in this negative way, you're all blown out. Kick rocks with your head down. Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord splits you. See you later, masturbator. After a while, pedophile. Beat it, you fucking sea donkey. That's my policy and I fucking stick to it. So gentlemen, I hope you got a lot out of this episode. I know I certainly did.

23:24 Remember, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. And Liam, I hope you're listening closely to that. So gentlemen, stay tuned for my next podcast that will drop this coming Monday. I really do appreciate you listening and I will see you, that's right, in the next episode. Love you, Liam.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.