What to Talk About With Girls: STORYTELLING ELITE TRAINING!

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today, we are going to talk about the magic of storytelling. A lot of you guys don't tell stories, and you wonder, how can I fill in the gaps that inevitably happen when I speak to women? I'm running out of things to say.

0:34 She gets bored, and then she takes off, and I don't understand why it's happening. So I'm here to help you out, boys. Today, we're going to talk about the art of storytelling. Yes, I have done a podcast on this. I think it was about probably like two years ago. So if you get butthurt, like, oh, he's repeating content. Bro, it's been two years. Relax, bro. Let me flex up a little bit and do some repeat shit because a lot of you guys need to hear this.

0:58 You forget about these simple ways to carry conversations with women, to make the conversation more interesting. And I'm going to give you some really good tips today about how to do that, some of the key and core tenets of what it means to tell a story in an effective way that definitely gets attraction from her. So definitely stick around until the very end. All right, gentlemen, the first thing I want to talk about is just the stories that you should tell. Okay, so the stories that you want to tell when speaking to women, obviously, you want to elicit emotions.

1:27 If you're not eliciting emotion inside of a woman, you're not eliciting attraction. That's so important. I want to say it again. If you're not eliciting emotions inside of a woman, then you're not eliciting attraction. Emotions come from stories of travail, stories of perseverance, stories where you went up against an obstacle and you overcame it, and or stories that are just downright funny. Okay, I tell funny stories all the time. One of the stories I always tell, and I have shared it a few times on this podcast, is how there was a fight outside the bar.

2:00 And the funny thing about this is I still tell this story to this day, but it happened like 10 years ago where there was a fight between two girls outside the bar. One girl got a hold of the other girl's hair. And I'll tell you what, when a woman has a hold of another woman's hair, you cannot get her freaking fist open. I was a bouncer for five years, and I know that by fact. It is proven. You cannot get her fist open. And so they're getting in a fight, and they're rolling around on the ground, and they got their hair in each other's hands, and it's just a fucking mess.

2:27 And then a boob pops out, right? And the boob was like a floppy boob, one of those ones that looks more like a pancake than an actual boob. It was like flopping over her shoulder, hitting herself in her own face, hitting the other girl in the face. And I call it a National Geographic boob. I'm like, yeah, the thing was like a National Geographic boob. And then that always elicits a lot of humor in a conversation. Now, what I do is I specifically tell stories that are related to the venue that I'm in.

2:53 Okay, that story I tell in bars and nightclubs. If I'm in bar X and the thing happened at bar Y, I don't give a shit. I'm telling the story as if it did happen outside of the bar that we're at. Okay, it's a story that I tell all the damn time. Now, I also have stories about supermarkets. I have stories about bookstores. I have stories about the ballpark, concert halls. Anywhere you guys go, you should have stories related to that. But not only that, and this is so damn important, stories of your life.

3:21 Stories of your life, gentlemen. Now, immediately, I know a lot of you guys are sitting there and you're like, oh, I don't have any stories, bro. Like, my life's so boring. All I do is sit around and play video games and masturbate in a puddle of my own tears. Okay, I'm going to disagree with you. You have stories, bro-tendo. Get your shit together, bro-tator cuff. Get the fucking barrel on the ball, hit a home run, and run those goddamn bases. Let's go from the backyard to the bigs and up our goddamn game.

3:47 That's right. I've been watching a lot of baseball lately. Seriously underrated sport. I highly suggest you guys check it out. Really interesting stuff. What I didn't realize, real quick side note, about baseball is it's a game between the pitcher and the batter. That's kind of something that I just recently realized, and I'm enjoying it a lot more. So back to storytelling. So go through pictures of your life, okay? When you traveled through Europe, when you were in high school and XYZ happened, when you went through some type of travail and you had to persevere past it, and which made you a better man today.

4:17 So we're going through pictures of our life. You can literally pick up your cell phone. You can go into the external hard drive that you have in your safe, which all the porn is on. I know how you roll, bro. I know how you are. You go in there and look at all the pictures. You're going to be like, dude, there's a lot of different stories, even for you guys who are a bit younger. But especially for guys like me who are 46, you know, and guys beyond, wherever you're at, you have stories and you need to pluck out the gems and tell them to girls.

4:44 Okay, here's a quick story I always tell to women. It's about a bird that I named Pele. Why didn't I name him Pele? Because while baseball is an awesome sport, the best sport in the world is soccer. And I want to give a quick shout out to Inter Miami, who just hired Messi, Lionel Messi. Messi's actually playing tonight. I'm recording this on Friday afternoon. His first game is tonight with Inter Miami. Damn right. I'm going to watch that thing. And you guys should watch him too.

5:10 Really huge thing for American soccer. So I find a bird when I'm like 12 years old. If it's one of those mini blackbirds, it looks like a miniature raven. I'm sure you guys are familiar with it. So I'm walking through this area next to the supermarket and I see these kids kicking this bird. And I'm like, what are you guys doing? And they're like, oh, this bird fell out of its nest. It's a piece of shit. We're just kicking it. I'm like, yo, yo, stop kicking the bird.

5:33 What the fuck are you doing? So I grab the bird. I get a shoebox for him and then I take him home. So when I get him home, I feed him some oatmeal out of a syringe and I take care of this dude and I ask my mom, can I keep this bird? And she's like, yeah, it's a wild bird, but I guess you could keep it until he's healthy enough. And then we're going to let him go. So I build a relationship with this bird, right?

5:51 And I used to let him fly around and I'd be like, and then he would fly back to me. It was so sick. I could take him outside. He'd fly back to me. He thought I was his dad, bro. And it was awesome. It was a moving moment. And you guys see what I'm doing here. I'm eliciting emotions, aren't I? Okay, so Pele heals. He grows older and my mom's like, look, you got to let him go. Okay, he needs to be back in his natural habitat.

6:14 So we drive over to Target, also affectionately known as Tarje in the American culture. We go to Tarje and there's a bunch of birds that hang out in Target. So my mom's like, well, let him go there and you're going to have to say goodbye. So I'm crying and I'm like, Pele, I can't believe it. I love you, buddy. And I let him go. He flies up with all his buddies who are like sitting up at the top of Target. And then I turn around to go back in the car and he lands on my shoulder.

6:39 So he flew back down and I'm like crying and my mom's crying. And she's like, okay, well, if you let the bird go and he comes back, then you could keep him. And I was like, oh, and then Pele's crying while I'm crying and fart a little bit. It was a whole scene. Okay, so I keep Pele for a while and it was so sick because I could take him outside and he would do laps around the neighborhood and then come back. All the kids liked him.

7:00 And one cool thing we used to do is we used to throw socks at him, which I guess gave him post-traumatic stress reminders of when the kids kicked him and he used to shit. And it was awesome because the shit would like fly onto the walls and it really pissed my mom off and it was so fucking funny. So that's my story about Pele. Okay, it's a great story that you can interject into a conversation. Now, some of you guys are like, yeah, well, how do I just start talking about a story like that, bro?

7:27 How do I bring it up? You'd be like, hey, I just moved here. What are those birds that they have out here? Those little brown birds. Do you know what those things are? They're so cute. Like today I was eating outside of Panera and this little guy literally came right up to me. I felt like I could have grabbed him and I was giving him some bread and it was crazy. Anyway, it was cool because when I was a kid, boom, you're off to the races.

7:47 So a lot of you guys struggle about like, how do I start talking about certain things? How do I get into certain conversations? You just bring it up. You just bring it up. If she's talking about boring shit, okay, the presidential election, pro-life or pro-choice, the gas with oily discharge she had this morning and or anything related to politics, religion or anything boring, you need to fucking change the subject. So if she's talking about something negative or boring, I'll let her speak about it a little bit.

8:15 I don't want to be socially unintelligent, but then I'll be like, oh yeah, that's really bad. That's a horrible story. So, hey, have you ever heard of this thing called the cube? Have you ever heard of this thing called strawberry fields? So, hey, this thing happened this morning that reminded me of XYZ thing that happened when, I don't know, you were surfing, you were traveling through Europe, you were snowboarding, baseball game, soccer game, whatever your guy's story is, you have to get it into the conversation to elicit emotions.

8:41 Now, there's a few very important things that you need to include in your stories. Heartwarming stories like the Pele story is really good, but you also want to have stories of overcoming adversity. Very, very, very freaking important. It builds trust and connection. It builds rapport, and she wants to know more about you. So me, for example, my dad died when I was 10. A lot of you guys may have heard the story, and I wanted to make something of myself to honor his death. So that's kind of a story I talk about, how one day he was alive, next day he was dead.

9:13 It completely devastated me and my family. But what's cool is my brother was inspired to actually hike three different trails that my dad wanted to hike when my dad was young, and that's the Pacific Crest Trail, Continental Divide Trail, and the Appalachian Trail. Well, my brother, he really obviously struggled on those hikes because it's literally hiking from Mexico to Canada. But he told me, every time I struggled, I just thought about dad, and that got me through. And I'm always like, yeah, man, same thing with me.

9:39 Anytime my business is struggling, I just think that my dad's looking down on me, and it makes me want to persevere to the next level. So sometimes those seemingly bad things that happen in our life are actually blessings in disguise because they can turn you into a better person. So you see how when speaking about my father, I'm able to angle it in a way where it shows perseverance and bettering yourself because of it. So whatever adversity you went through, you have to talk about the adversity, but also how you overcame it.

10:07 Okay, this isn't telling stories about how you're so insecure and every night you're so lonely because you can't get a girlfriend, you masturbate in a puddle of your own tears. Do not tell that story. Instead, the story is, hey, you know, I had a lot of social problems, so I worked on myself. I did a lot of NLP, neuro-linguistic programming, cognitive behavioral therapy. I went out there and talked to people, and it really helped me. And I almost feel like my anxiety and social unintelligence was a blessing because it made me fix it.

10:34 Have you ever had anything like that? So it's that kind of story of becoming better. So there's four elements that each of your stories should have in them. First of all, boys, and most importantly, stick to the goddamn highlights. Sometimes I ask my clients to tell me stories, and it's like more boring than watching paint dry. I'm like, bro, stick to the highlights. I don't need to know how much gas cost that day while you were on your way to the fire to go save your dog from the fire.

10:58 And then your dog just happened to get a haircut the day before, and you thought he looked so cute when he was almost burning alive. We don't care about that. The story is, there was a fire in my house. My dog was inside. I went in there to rescue that motherfucker because he was my best friend, and I'm not going to let him die. And I actually got in the paper that week. It was crazy. It's like me with my dog on the front page of the paper, and it was really cool.

11:18 But I'll tell you what, while I was saving that dog, I peed a little. I admit it. I peed a little. Can't do anything about it. It is what it is. I piss my pants. So we have to remember to stick to the highlights. Stick to the highlights. Stick to the highlights. The second tip is make your story's length the same length that you've been in set as like a ratio. So if you've been in set for 10 minutes, you'll tell possibly a slightly shorter story. You are on your first or second date.

11:47 You can tell a longer story. So the ratio is the shorter you've interacted with her, the shorter your story is. The longer you've interacted with her, the longer your stories. Makes sense, right? So that story about the National Geographic boob, I tell that thing within 30 seconds to a minute sometimes. I'm like, hey, have you ladies ever been to this bar before? Oh, it's so crazy. The other night I was standing outside and blah, blah, blah. The fight happens. Okay. So that's the second thing. The story's length should be in direct proportion to the amount of time that you've been in set.

12:16 The third thing is I alluded to earlier is you have to communicate that whatever adversity you went through, it didn't take you down. You persevered past it and you grew through it. And that goes to my fourth thing. We are embedding into the story high value traits that we have developed because of the story. Okay. So say for example, my panic attacks that I had in Japan, and that is a story that I'll tell usually on the first date. My panic attacks that I had in Japan, I had anxiety, agoraphobia, panic attacks, and it wasn't until I found NLP that I persevered past it.

12:51 But because I had the panic attacks, I literally look at travails in life as wrongs on a ladder. The wrongs on a ladder in each travail that you have allows you to go up higher in your life. So actually the anxiety that I had, the panic attacks that I had, and I really do believe this, was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, if I just tell the story about panic attacks and I don't say how I overcame it and how I'm on Zoloft or Xylitol and I can hardly get outside half the time, that's not a good thing.

13:20 That's not a good thing. So it's always about persevering past the travail and embedding those high value traits into the story like you embed medicine into a dog treat, right? You want to give the dog some medicine, you embed it in there and you toss it to the dog. So what you want to do is talk about ambition, how you're confident, how you're brave, how you're basically a kick-ass dude. You want to tell stories about other girls, not girls necessarily that you're dating, but girlfriends. Guys, this is so huge.

13:50 I can't even express to you how important it is. Always make the other person in the story a girl who's a friend, okay? You're not going to be like, yeah, my ex-girlfriend, she's so banging. She was a fucking model. Anyway, she's sucking my dick. And then this thing happens, this freaking dog comes flying through the window. You want to skip that kind of story, but you want to talk about how, oh yeah, my friend Amy, she's a model. She's really full of herself. Anyway, she told me about this thing.

14:13 And then you go telling the story about females who are in it. So once again, we're embedding high value traits, right? The ambition, the preselection, the confidence, the perseverance through adversity, very, very important. How successful you've been. Now, when it may seem like you're bragging, you want to put some self-deprecating humor into the story. When I talked about going into the fire to save the dog, you guys may remember I said, yeah, but I pissed myself. So what happens is I balanced the seemingly arrogant story with some humility and something embarrassing.

14:48 One of the stories I tell is how my buddy was surfing and he thinks he hit a shark. We were surfing at Alamoana Bulls, which is in Waikiki. And there is a deep trench next to that surf spot where they think there's sharks over there. So my friend's on a wave and he hit something. He flies off his board. I saw it. His board literally stopped and the guy flew off. And then the leash got really tight and the board kind of came with him. And he's like, dude, I hit a shark.

15:13 I hit a shark. And I was inside because I just caught a wave. Well, what do I do? Do I run away or do I help my friend? I fucking help my friend. So I paddled out there. I got him. We went in. He swears to this day that he hit a goddamn shark. He's like, dude, I saw the fin. I hit a shark. And I always say in the story that while I was going out to him, I was peeing my pants, right? I was so scared.

15:34 I was pissing, but it's my best friend. I got to go rescue him. He's my boy. So I get out there and I grab him and we're both pissing on the way back. In fact, we were pissing so much it actually propelled us like a jet ski through the water until we got on the shore and we were like laying on the beach like, dude, I can't believe that happened. He swears he hit a shark. So when telling stories about what a champion you are, because you are a goddamn champion and I really want you to recognize that, you have to put some self-deprecating humor in there.

16:00 Otherwise, you're going to come off as arrogant. And I've heard people say like, yeah, I tell stories, but girls think I'm full of myself. Then you need more self-deprecation. Okay. So here's what we're going to do, brothers. Starting tonight. Okay. What is it? Thursday. By Sunday night, I want you to have at least five, preferably 10 stories that you could tell the girls. How do you find them? I just told you, you go through your pictures, you go through emails that you may have had during that time of your life, whatever it was.

16:27 Think about trips you've taken. Think about adventures you've had. You guys have all done so much cool shit. You just don't remember it. It's easy to forget that stuff. So when you go through your pictures, you get five to 10 stories, some longer than others, some about perseverance through travail. Others are kind of funny stories. Other stories could be simply about a philosophy that you came up with, like your spirituality and why you came up with that or why you don't drink anymore, how you were addicted to drugs at one time.

16:54 And yes, you persevered past it. Now that may beg the question, well, I don't want to tell her I was addicted to drugs. Yes, you do. It builds rapport. The problem is if you're still on drugs. Now, if you're still on drugs, you know, I'm afraid I can't help you with that, but I guess you'd want to go meet a girl who's also on drugs. But if you've persevered past it, tell the story. You've been in prison, tell the story. You've done some horrible shit, tell the story.

17:18 Now, obviously, if you're a chomo and those guys who have been in prison know what a chomo is, don't tell that story. A chomo is child molester. Obviously, you don't talk about that. And if you are that guy, please stop listening to my podcast. That's horrible that you did that. But let's say, for example, and this happened to my friend, right? You get arrested because you were peeing in public and now he's a sex offender. Swear to God this happened to my friend. Okay. Can you tell that story?

17:45 Of course. You didn't do anything horrible. You didn't. You're not like a legit chomo. It's just some shit that happened to you. So yeah, guys, you can talk about the bad things that have happened to you. I certainly talk about that stuff. But as I've said, and this is super important, you persevered past it. That's the most important thing. Okay. So we're going to look for 10 stories. I want you to really practice them. You can look in the mirror. You can record a podcast like this one.

18:12 You can get on video. Like I am now, by the way, for you audio only listeners, we're now doing video and this podcast is being filmed. Just kind of staring at myself filming this thing. It's a little weird, but it's going to be on YouTube. So check out my YouTube channel. I'm going to up my game. As many of you may have noticed on Instagram, we're really going to up the game. No more hat wearing, right? I thought I was a little bit immature. You know, I'm going to up my style a little bit, try to up my game where there's concern.

18:39 And we're going to come out with a new website too in a couple of months. So check that out on YouTube, but you can record yourself on video talking. It's a little awkward, but it's good practice for how to be socially confident. Right? You can practice in the mirror, practice while you're driving and remember those key tips. You want to embed those high value traits into your stories without looking arrogant. If you do feel it's going to look arrogant, then what you want to do is put self-deprecating humor into it.

19:05 The story's length should be directly proportional to the amount of time that you've been in set. You want to stick to the highlights. Keep that shit as interesting as possible. Drop away the boring facts that don't matter. Just stick to the highlights. Keep her emotional. We want to get into her emotions. And another thing, guys, is if you're not a good speaker, trying to record a podcast like this one, even if you don't have any intent to publish it, is really, really helpful. If you go back to my first podcast episodes and compare them to my delivery today, my cadence is better.

19:38 My delivery is better. I do crescendos and decrescendos, which keeps people's attention. You want to get rid of words like like and um, right? I really listen to my podcast. And if I say um once, I seriously get mad at myself. So try not to say um all the time and like and have the slow thinking. I want you guys to be right on it and tell the story with enthusiasm. Get into it. And don't lie on your stories. Okay. Don't make some shit up like, oh, Mark's story about surfing is pretty cool.

20:08 I'll tell that one. Don't do it. Because girls can tell when you're being inauthentic. You guys have great stories. You can do this. So go look through your pictures. I want 10 stories by Sunday. Tell them to girls. This is going to fill in the gaps so well when you run out of things to talk about. Okay, and again, when you do run out of things to talk about, just bring it up. Be like, oh, that reminds me of a story. And then tell the story. And also get her to tell stories.

20:32 So what like that happened to you? Have you ever rescued a pet? Have you ever had a situation where you had to persevere past something? Have you ever lost a family member? And how did that affect you? What's the best day of your life? What would you do if you had no chance of failure? These kinds of things get her into storytelling. And I should also do another episode on hypo stories, which is hypothetical stories that happen in the future. But that's what we want to do.

20:56 We want to tell stories. Have her tell stories. Why? Stories are the way humans relate. Did you know that campfires are the reason that language was created? Why? Because they had to all sit around the campfire to keep warm. And then they're like, oh, oh. It's like, oh, oh, oh. And then he passes them the bone, right? Well, eventually that became language. And what did language become? Storytelling. This is how ancient tribes would tell each other where the water is or where their ancestors came from or what kind of things they experienced.

21:26 It's all storytelling. That's how we relate to one another. That's why movies are so popular. So stories are so unbelievably important, gentlemen. I want you to implement them into your routines, into your attraction building sequence. And remember those things that I told you, specifically embedding those high value traits. Super duper important. Gentlemen, I do hope you enjoyed this episode. If you'd like to leave me a review, I'd very much appreciate it. Please email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com and I will send you a bunch of cool shit.

21:56 Three programs, three videos, a smack upside the head and I'll get your name tattooed right here under my left eye because you're a goddamn champion, bro. I appreciate you guys listening and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.