Why Men Crack (My Horribly Embarassing Story of Failure)

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. Over the last few weeks, I've been doing a lot of advertising, so we are going to bypass that today and talk about why men crack. I don't know if that's what I'm going to title it, but as I'm sitting here, I'm like, that's a pretty damn good title.

0:33 I wonder how many of you guys actually clicked on it because this is a philosophy. This is something that I've been realizing in my life, especially over the last few years, getting a face full of humility, the right foot of fellowship from the universe itself, humbling my ass because, man, I have been too egoic, too full of myself, too judgmental of other people, and it's really strange how the universe always comes and humbles your ass. So we're going to talk about that, and we're going to talk about how not to tempt fate by having humility out of the gate rather than getting so full of yourself, getting a full head, getting into a situation where you're going to get humbled because this is the way the universe works, and it always happens that way, and this is why men crack.

1:18 They get too full of themselves. They get too egoic in the way of their successes, in the way of all those things that they've accomplished, in the way of comparing themselves to others and being dissatisfied about what the universe or society or whatever it is hasn't delivered to them yet, and they get that right foot of fellowship right to the jawbone, and it sets them straight. So the reason why I want to talk about this is because it's been happening to me, and I'm going to tell you a personal story about how I needed to get humbled in the nightclub the other night because I kind of lost my cool.

1:50 It's kind of a funny story, but also an embarrassing story that I'm going to share with you, but also something that I've been seeing with men who are highly successful. As you continue to work on yourself, brother, I'm going to tell you something. You are about to get success that most people don't achieve. Now, you may be listening and thinking, nah, man, that success isn't for me. I can barely get girls. I'm barely making any money. I'm basically, in my own eyes, a pretty big failure.

2:15 Success isn't meant for me, and I would be asking you to question that. Do you feel like you're not worth success? Do you feel like you don't have what it takes to get success? Because I'll tell you what, success is always generated in here first, and I'm pointing at my head for those of you listening on audio. It's always generated in the mind first. You have to feel like you're worth it. You have to feel like you can get to that next level, but never, ever, ever forget where you came from, and always remember that universe or other people or other situations will always come along and humble you.

2:54 The reason, again, I'm talking about this is because I've seen it in my own life, in the life of several of my clients who have achieved unprecedented success with women, got a little bit full-headed, thought they were the cat's meow, the complete champion, and they got their asses handed to them because they didn't have the humility, appreciation, and self-consciousness to know that you may be the shit in your own mind, but when it comes to your true potential, you ain't shit. You absolutely ain't shit. So I want to start this with the story first about somebody else, and then in this, I'm going to tell my own story, and then maybe a story about one of my clients.

3:26 We'll see how it goes, and I want to talk about some philosophies to keep you in check as you rise to that next level, as you become a champion, but not getting to the point where you're going to let yourself crack because people do crack. Now, you guys might know that I really love supercross and motocross. This is dirt bike racing, and the challenges that dirt bike racing hands to the racers are, in my opinion, almost like an exponential representation of life itself. It is, in my opinion, the most difficult sport out there because there's so many things that can go wrong.

4:01 It's so inherently dangerous. It is such a physical, but even more than that, a mental game. I absolutely freaking love it, and if you haven't been watching this, there is supercross. It's called Monster Energy Supercross on Peacock. If you have Peacock, I highly suggest you check it out. Well, there's this one dude. His name is Jet Lawrence, and Jet Lawrence is kind of one of those phenoms. Ever since he was a kid, he's just been something special. He came up through the ranks and finally entered the premier class, which is 450cc motorcycles.

4:34 You may have heard of a leader bike, like a street bike, a crotch rocket. A leader is 1,000ccs. You have 600ccs, and what dirt bikes are typically, at least in the United States, are either 450ccs or 250ccs, and that's what these guys race. Well, when they're racing them, this is a fucking man sport, okay? Like I said, you got to be so mentally strong. You got to be physically strong. I've read studies where they say that this is the most physically demanding sport in the world, beyond soccer, beyond triathlons, beyond anything you could ever do.

5:03 Whether or not that's true remains to be seen, but suffice it to say, this sport is going to kick your ass. So this guy, Jet Lawrence, comes through the ranks, and he finally enters the premier class. This is the best of the best. The best guys in the world from all over the world come to compete. There's usually about 20 guys in each race. These dudes are the best, and the ranks are stacked with the best dudes. So he comes into motocross. Now, motocross is outdoor racing.

5:31 It takes place on outdoor dirt tracks where they're going through the woods. They're like on the side of a mountain. And then supercross happens inside stadiums. So it's a little bit different. Motocross is outdoor racing. It's a lot more open, a lot faster. Supercross is indoor racing. It's more technical. And in my opinion, it's hell of a lot more fun to watch. So Jet Lawrence comes into the motocross, the outdoor season, and fucking blows everybody away. He won every single race there was to win. And I think there was something like 17 rounds and two races during each round.

6:07 He won every single one. So what happens when the kid wins every single one? He's 20 years old, good-looking kid. He's from Australia. And obviously, Americans love Australian accents. What's up to all my Aussie listeners? Fucking love you guys. He kind of starts to get a big head. So he's going into the supercross part of the season, which again is inside stadiums. It's a completely different animal. And in my opinion, supercross is what separates the men from the boys. This is what really tests your mental sharpness because you have to remember the rhythm sections.

6:35 You have to be technically sound. You have to have really good starts. And you have to be able to hack the mind games that happen with the other riders. Now, these other riders aren't schleps, okay? These guys are all former champions. They're all hardcore motherfuckers. And this guy, Jet Lawrence, comes into the season with a little bit of a big head because he wiped the floor with all these guys in the motocross season. So he's like, yeah, I want to kick some ass in the supercross season.

7:02 And he said something that immediately threw up red flags for me. What he said is, my goal is to beat the king, and the king is Jeremy McGrath's all-time winning record of 72 supercross wins. Okay, now mind you, the guy's never raced a supercross race in the 450 premier class. And he's saying, I want to beat the all-time best record of 72 wins. Now, he did win a lot in the outdoor season, but to make that kind of claim coming into the supercross season is, in my opinion, talking too big.

7:34 He let his ego get the best of him, and he's about to be humbled, as I'm going to explain. So he comes in, and he's like, yeah, my goal is to beat the king's record of over 72 wins. And everybody's like, oh, fuck this guy, dude. He hasn't even raced one race, and he's already saying he wants to beat Jeremy McGrath's record. It rubbed me the wrong way, I'm not going to lie. So we're three races in now. He's won one race. The other two, he didn't do so good in.

8:04 Now, mind you, there were mud races, and that throws another wrench into the mix, but the kid's kind of been getting humbled. So in the last race, he gets stuck behind this guy named Jason Anderson, who's brake-checking him and not letting him pass. Well, after the race, Jet, remember, this is our phenom. He's 20 years old from Australia, goes up to Jason Anderson and starts yelling at him about how he was brake-checking him, not letting him by. Well, this is a race, bro. You're not supposed to just let people by because you're faster than them.

8:31 We have to compete. I'm going to not let you go by. I'm going to brake-check you. I'm going to close the inside line. I'm not letting you through. So Jet gets really pissed that Jason Anderson rolls up to him and his bike and starts yelling at him. So he grabs Jason's helmet by the mouth area. You can imagine like a dirt bike racer's helmet. He grabs it by the mouth area, and then Jason grabs his helmet, and they're like shoving each other and getting each other's helmets.

8:56 And then Jet rides off to his mechanic. And unfortunately, and this is how the universe is going to bite you in the ass, there's footage of him crying. Yes, boys, you heard that correctly, crying. Now, as I said in the beginning of the show, this is a fucking man's sport. So crying, it doesn't go over too well with supercross guys, okay? This is a brutal sport that takes a man to do it. So when you get this prima donna, as what a lot of people are calling Jet Lawrence, who comes into the supercross season saying, dude, I'm going to win the all-time most wins record, and then something doesn't go his way in a race where he gets stuck behind another guy, and he cries about it, that does not look good.

9:40 So Jason Anderson posts on Instagram, hey, I never got an apology from this guy. He apologized, Jet Lawrence did, but it was via his team. He didn't do it himself. It was like a press release, or it was his agent that did a post like, hey, sorry about that. I lost my cool. Cheers, mate. I'll see you next time. But Jason Anderson's like, no, he never came to me. He's hiding behind his team, crying about it, and getting really pissed off because the universe isn't delivering him what he thinks he should get.

10:06 And this is where humility comes in, and this is, in my opinion, why men crack. Jet Lawrence cracked, but you know what? It's good for him. He's 20 years old. He thought that he was the cat's meow. His shit don't stink. He should win every fucking race. Then when he goes into the premier class with the big dogs, kind of gets his ass handed to him. And I knew that was going to happen. The second I heard, yeah, I want to beat Jeremy McGrath's record of 72 races, I knew this kid was screwed because it ain't going to happen that quickly.

10:33 And to predict that you're not going to get hurt, there's not going to be another guy who comes to the ranks who gives you a challenge, and you're just going to wipe the floor with everybody and win this all-time winning record, which took Jeremy McGrath like 10 years to do all through the 90s, is, in my opinion, a full-of-yourself kind of action. So now he's in a place where not only has he not won all three races, he's won one. He's kind of gotten bitch slapped by one of the veterans, Jason Anderson.

11:06 It was caught on camera him crying and getting emotional about it. He didn't apologize, but instead hid behind his team and had them apologize on his behalf, this is what I predict is going to happen. This is going to get into his head and he's going to start not performing as well as he was doing previously, and it's going to fuck him up, but it's also going to make him grow. But why do we need to go through that kind of calamity in order for the universe to bitch slap us, which it'll do every single time when you get too full of yourself, when you become a prima donna, when you let the ego get out of control, the universe every single time is going to come and bitch slap you.

11:42 Now, what is the ego getting out of control? It's saying to the universe, I deserve this, first of all, and I want to debunk that immediately, boys. You don't deserve shit, okay? The universe doesn't owe you anything. You deserve what you work for. You deserve to get that success when you're humble and know that any success you get is a freaking gift from the universe because the universe is what gave you those skills to begin with. Yes, you should take those skills and work hard to ameliorate them, to make them into the best skills you can do, just as this kid, Jett Lawrence, did.

12:17 But the second you think that you're deserving, that a past champion like Jason Anderson should just let you buy because you're faster than him, is bullshit. And what this kid is getting is what a lot of men get before they crack, which is a big ego that the universe says, oh, really? You think you're hot shit, huh? How about this? And it's going to crumble that house of cards every single time. And yes, this has happened to me many times myself. I have spent years in my own ego thinking I'm better than people because I'm good I'm better than people because I have a successful podcast.

12:54 I'm better with people because I have a ton of clients. And every single time, boys, I get this big head about me. I get knocked down and I remember what's important, which is appreciation, appreciating those simple things that God or the universe or your mom and dad, if you like, gave you as a gift. Every single day, I make sure to humble myself and say, you know what? My ability to just ramble on and on and on isn't really me. It's a gift that I was given by the universe.

13:27 And I stand humbled and in awe of that gift that I've been given. If you listen to a podcast like this one, or for those champions who have entered my three-month coaching program, and you become really good with women, that's not necessarily all because of you. And just because you're deserving of it and you just are the shit, so that's why you get it. It's because A, you got a gift and B, you worked hard to get it with humility, knowing that when you put yourself in the low state, meaning the humble state, and you look back with awe at those gifts that you were given, then the universe will reward you with more and more success.

14:02 A lot of people hate on millionaires and billionaires and really successful people, but I've met a lot of these guys and oftentimes they're the most humble, the most gracious, the most, I'm going to put myself in the low place because I understand that it's really not me. It's my effort behind a gift that gets me what I'm going to get. And I don't think I'm somehow deserving of it. And I don't think that it's all just me. And I feel like that's the trap that Jet Lawrence fell into and good.

14:32 I'm glad this happened to him because he's going to develop the character to be like, look, it was a gift I was given to be this good at riding supercross and motocross. I'm not going to take it as I'm Jet Lawrence. I'm a demigod. I'm the shit. Nobody can touch me. My shit don't stink. I'm going to take it as, hey, this is a gift that can be easily taken from me. So I better get humble and be appreciative. And that's the next phase of what I want to speak about.

15:00 When you start getting good with women, gentlemen, and a lot of you guys are already there. When you start making lots of money, when you start getting lots of success, don't get it twisted. It's not you. It's a gift that you've been given by your creator, God, Shiva, Jesus, whoever it is that you believe in. Get humble to the point where you have to understand that you were given this and it's only through your hard work that the potential of your gift can be brought into fruition, brought into reality, and then you get more gifts because of it, especially when you're humble.

15:35 The reason men crack, and this happens with superstars, actors, athletes, and even Jet Lawrence, is because you start to create an egoic, delusional vision of yourself that it's you doing the work, not a super intelligence or something beyond you that gave you that gift that is doing that work. What the truly successful person is, is humble. He's low. It reminds me of the Tao Te Ching, which is called the water course way. The Tao Te Ching was an extremely wise book that was written by Lao Tzu a couple thousand years ago, and it's called the water course way because water carves through all things, even rock, by being gentle, by being yielding, by being humble, and it will even go to the lowest places.

16:22 And that's why it's called the water course way. It's because water, like the master, is in that low, humble place, but there's so much power behind him because of his humility, not despite it. So when we get people who build their egos, what do they become? They become disingenuous and they're not appreciative. The reason they're not appreciative is because they think all those skills, all those actions are somehow them, but it's not them. It's beyond them. Jet Lawrence's ability, in my opinion, was a God-given gift that he, in some ways, threw back in God's face, if you will, because he thinks, I'm Jet Lawrence.

17:00 I'm good looking. I'm from Australia. I kicked everybody's ass and outdoors, and now I just deserve to win Supercross. And what happened, boys? He got caught on camera crying, crying. Do you know how embarrassing that must be in a Supercross environment? It's almost akin to crying in the UFC. Imagine a fighter getting into the ring and getting fucking roundhouse to the face, and he starts crying. That's almost the equivalent. So now this poor kid, he's only 20 years old, is getting that slap of humility. And he's going to have to come back next week with his chin held high, knowing, dude, you got to be humble.

17:36 And the reason men crack, as he did, is because of ego. The ego is not your amigo. So tend to that inside yourself as well, brother, because you are about to get unprecedented success. Do not make the mistake of thinking that it's you, but instead think that it's a gift and be appreciative for it. I was walking around in the supermarket today, feeling all bummed because of what happened to me the other weekend. And I'll tell you the story in a second. And I was looking around, and I saw this lady who was blind.

18:06 And I was like, man, at least you can see, bro. At least you've been given the gift of vision, and that hasn't been taken away from you. Then I saw another lady, it was almost serendipitous, where she was in a wheelchair. And I was like, dude, you can walk, bro. And here you are, like, crying and feeling bad. And by the way, I didn't cry. But inside my head, I was being a pussy, and I was kind of crying about what happened, where this lady can't even walk.

18:29 And here you are feeling all guilty and poor me about yourself because of what happened last weekend. And then I think, how successful my business is, how much of a gift that I've been given. Do I think this is me doing this work? No. I feel like something is working through me, and I'm just a channel to let it out. And it's been generous enough to give me the fruits of all these listeners and all these clients and all the love that I've been given. It's a gift, man.

18:58 And I need to be humble to the point where I'm not better than others. I'm not superior to others because I've been given the gift of being able to talk to a girl or talk on my podcast. I've been able to get the gift of wanting to work hard and manage my money and become successful monetarily. I've been given the gift of a healthy child who loves me, thank God, and who's not sick. I have been given so many gifts, and you have too. And we crack when we don't realize it, when we don't appreciate it.

19:28 And worse yet, we attribute our success just to that egoic self. It's me doing this, and I deserve it because I'm me. You have to get rid of that shit immediately because the universe, just like what happened to Jed Lawrence, and God bless the kid, I hope this teaches him that valuable lesson is always going to teach you that it's not you. It's a gift that's been given to you. And if you don't recognize it, you're going to get smacked upside the head. What happened to me last weekend is very simple.

19:55 I got in a fight with a guy who's in the friends group, and I basically made an ass of myself because I told him I was going to choke him the fuck out, and he better not fuck with me anymore because he's going to be unconscious in about three minutes. I made a scene. I flexed my muscles like a big silverback gorilla, and I was not humble in the way that I kept my anger in check. I tell you guys all the time, a guy with a weak frame is a guy who gets angry easily.

20:22 Why? It shows that life got into his frame, pushed him to and fro, and he's been frame-checked by the situation. When you're in that humble state of, hey, I'm not better than this guy just because I'm bigger than him, and I train Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and I could probably choke him unconscious. I don't know who that guy is. I don't know what skills he has. I don't know what travails he's went through. And honestly, if I was born in his body, I would be in the exact same position he would be in.

20:50 And that's where humility comes from. Humility comes from the ability to know that if you were born in his body, you would be in the exact same situation. All these canyon mules, mountain trolls, and heifers that I talk shit about, shit, what might happen to me is I might be born in a body like that because I'm talking shit. The universe has a way to humble us, and I too need to be humbled. So I made a big scene. I was talking shit, and some friends pulled me aside, and they're like, dude, that's not you, bro.

21:16 We didn't think you were that way. But now maybe we question that you are. You have a short fuse. You threatened that guy when he was talking shit to you? Why didn't you rise above him? And it really occurred to me that I did fail. I failed myself in that moment. I failed you guys in that moment. I failed because I was in my ego thinking, I'm Mr. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and I could choke out anybody. Look at this little fucker trying to come into my friend's group, hit on my girlfriends, and try to flex up on me?

21:42 You're trying to flex up on me, Mark Singh? And there's that ego again. Not coming from a place of appreciation, but coming from a place of deserving, of egoic pre-Madonna, just like Jet Lawrence. And while I didn't go cry, thank God, and caught on camera and showing to all my fans, I was still a pussy in that situation, and I failed. I failed me, I failed you, and I hope to grow from that situation with humility, the low of place. Because the person who's truly successful is the one who knows it's not you doing the deeds.

22:13 It's the gift that you've been given, that yes, you should be proud of yourself for utilizing, but always humble to your creator or the universal energy that poured into you to make that happen. So that, boys, is in my opinion why men crack. Men crack because they get too egoic, and they get too involved in their own egoic sense of deserving, and they're not appreciative enough. You wouldn't crack and lose your mind and be disappointed and be stressed out if every day you gave thanks for the ability to walk, the ability to talk and hear and see, the ability to live in a peaceful nation as most of us do now, most of us, not all, and have safety every single day to pursue things like women and the joy that comes with learning how to attract them.

23:07 So I want to present to you, be very careful about your ego inflating to unrealistic levels when you get success. I'm not saying if you get success, I'm saying when, because it's coming for each of you. And you need to feel that you have the gifts to be able to get that, but always with appreciation back to that which gave you those gifts. So what did I do? I apologized. And I know this is called the Unapologetic Man Podcast, but I said, yo, I was in the wrong, man.

23:33 And I actually approached the guy, and I said, dude, my bad, bro. I kind of blew up. I'm a little bit of a hothead sometimes. That's something I need to work on. And it's just ego, man. The ego is not your amigo. Keep that son of a bitch in check, because it will get you to a place where you're so big-headed, the universe has no choice but to whip you back down to that place that you should be, which is that low, humble place, that place that I need to get to, too.

24:02 So I wish nothing but the best to all you boys. When you start getting success, just be careful, man. Reign it in. Don't let your head get too big, because I'm telling you, you are inviting pain into your life if you do. Just like the pain that our boy Jet Lawrence went through, which hopefully he's going to grow through. He's going to become even a better supercross and motocross racer. And then, yeah, maybe he will have the wherewithal, humility, and appreciation to beat Jeremy McGrath's 72 race record.

24:28 I do not like that he said that, but shit, maybe that's my ego being like, oh, you shouldn't have said that. You should be humble, which, again, the ego has a weird way of coming through the back door, doesn't it? But I think that's a great story for all of us to remember. The reason men crack is because they let their ego get too big, and the universe humbles you in a way that you will not like. And hopefully for our boy Jet Lawrence, he doesn't crack, but lets this build him into the next best version of himself, because that's why we're here.

25:00 I'm not saying he shouldn't have done any of that. He should have. How do I know this is true? Because it happened, and it happened for him rather than to him. And that too is humility, and that too is appreciation. Whatever happens to you, brother, accept it as if you chose it. Why do we do it this way? Because it happened, which means it was meant to happen to spur your next level of growth. Gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did recording it.

25:28 As a reminder, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please come back and let me try to humbly show you this gift that I've been given, where I'm obsessed with other people's wisdom. I love speaking about it, and I love trying to help you, brother, get to that next best version of yourself, and that happens every week on Mondays and Thursdays. I appreciate you listening, and I will see you in the next episode. Bye-bye. We'll see you next time.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.