Why Women Ask: "What are you looking for?"

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate your patronage and today we are going to talk about why women always ask that damn question. What are you looking for? And they'll do it right out of the chute, won't they? You freaking open them on a dating app and the next question is, what are you looking for?

0:37 Well, I'm going to tell you why they ask that, what the correct answer is, and how to blow past what her filter process is so that you can date her and find out what she's really like before you actually have to answer that question. Before I jump into the content, I want to thank you guys once again for all the awesome reviews. They just keep coming in. Man, they just keep coming. As I say often, I read all of them guys, every single letter, every single word, several times over.

0:57 Sometimes even show them to my girlfriend and say, look what this champion wrote. And I send you a silent thank you. So if you've written me a review, man, I've spent some time to send you some positive energy. And of course, if you wrote me that email, I sent you some awesome shit as well. So if you leave me a review, please email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com. And I will send you the conversation sniper, 150 deadly one liners for building attraction guide to the female orgasm, how to make her look like a screaming demon that just got hit with the tornado and three texts to build massive attraction in women while your friends baffle your enemies.

1:39 So any of you guys who have left me a review, left me a testimonial, signed up for coaching, anything at all where you invested your trust in me, I really do appreciate you. You are an absolute legend and songs will be written about you that will be sung around campfires for generations to come. Adam Skoda, that one was for you, buddy. All right, guys, let's go ahead and jump into the content. So why do women ask, what are you looking for? A lot of you guys have a pretty good understanding of why this is.

2:08 But for those of you who don't, this is really going to make sense. Okay, so what we're going to do here is we're going to put ourselves in the shoes of women. All right, so you're a woman and you know that your sexual marketplace value peaks at about 25 years old, right? And what that means is guys are attracted to you for a very limited time. And we can almost tell as men and tell me if you can relate to this. Sometimes women have this kind of glow about them.

2:37 And what I call that glow is like the sexual maturity glow or like she's fertile. I always say, oh, look at that chick over there. She's glowing, man. She's more fertile than the Costa Rican rainforest. That's because women enter fertility. They enter their best years of being able to have a baby in about their mid-20s. And then it fades as it goes on. And this is called her sexual marketplace value. Now, we as men are attracted to women for one reason and one reason only.

3:05 And that is her ability to have a healthy child. So really, our sexual attraction to a woman is all health signs. How healthy is she to have a healthy baby? So that's why we're attracted to beautiful hair because that's a health sign. Beautiful skin, that's a health sign. Clear eyes, clean teeth, nice hip-to-breast ratio, a girl who takes care of herself. These signs of beauty all point to the fact that she can have a healthy baby. Well, like I said, a lot of girls get the most sexual glow.

3:35 They look the healthiest when they're about in their mid-20s. Okay, so women are always highly in demand when they're at their peak sexual value. And once again, mid-20s, early 20s, some girls even into like early 30s. But then it kind of starts fading. Now, as you know, a woman can be very sexy when she's older, but her peak sexual marketplace value is usually in her 20s. So as she gets older, that starts to decline. And as it starts to decline, her ability to attract a high-quality male, which is you, the listener, goes down substantially each year.

4:12 So unlike us, she's actually getting less and less attractive as she goes. So there's literally a clock that's ticking. Not only a clock that's ticking on when she can have a baby, but also a clock that's ticking on how good of a guy she can get. So if you're ever dating a chick, you have to know that she's kind of thinking, is this guy really the quality of guy I want to spend my time on? And this is why women will often upgrade, as do we.

4:38 You know, it's not women's fault. We do the same shit because we want the hottest chick we can get. We want the best chick we can get. Again, it's human nature. It's nobody's fault. But the reason why chicks will oftentimes cheat, they'll blow guys out, is because they're trying to get the best dude they can. Now, I believe that's called female hypergamy, and a lot of guys get butthurt about it. But it's like, really? You're going to get butthurt about somebody trying to do the best thing for themselves?

5:02 That's fucking human nature. That's like getting butthurt because we breathe air, we drink water. It's just how we work. We want the best for ourselves. So unless you're the best dude for her, and as I always say, unless you can get her truly sprung on you, better yet, in love with you, she's going to look for that in somebody else. Okay, so women are always going for the upgrade plan. And oftentimes, one of my lines is when she says she has a boyfriend, and I'm feeling really cocky, and I feel like she's attracted to me, I say, well, you know, we could talk about getting you into the upgrade plan.

5:32 You know, I don't know if you qualify, but we can talk about that. You can go ahead and lose the zero, step up to the hero. If I think I have that kind of rapport with her and I get away with it, sometimes I'll say that. So women are constantly in a race to get a good guy before they get too ugly, right? Before they lose their sexual marketplace value, specifically before they lose that glow that they often get. Marissa and I have been watching The Office.

5:58 I don't know if you guys watch that, the American version of The Office. And there's that one character, Pam. She's like the lead female character, and then she's the girl who dates Jim. And Marissa's like, Pam's not really that hot. And I'm like, yeah, but she kind of is because she has that glow. And if you guys watch that show or you want to jump on YouTube real quick, you'll see exactly what I mean. She's at her peak fertility when that show was filmed. I don't know what she looks like now.

6:21 You know, it's like 10, 15 years later. I'm sure she's not nearly as attractive, but she had that glow in that show. And that's kind of what I'm talking about. Okay, so she's on the dating apps, right? Like it didn't work out with dude number one, didn't work out with dude number two. So she's getting a little desperate. Her clock is ticking. She jumps on the dating apps. So now I want you to think about the reality for women. And the reality is the vast majority of guys are just going to dip and skip, right?

6:48 They just want to hit it and quit it, get in with her, have some sex, see if it's any good, and then duck out. Now, this is particularly true for sevens. And this is kind of the reason I feel sorry for sevens is because they're kind of hot enough that you'd hit it, but it's like a moped. You don't want to be seen on it, right? And you don't want to ride it more than once. You're like, man, I'll take it around the street a couple times.

7:08 Hopefully none of my friends see me on it. I'll have, I'll do a couple laps, jump a curb, you know, take it into the ditches and then come back and then never ride the thing again. Well, that's kind of like the reality for a seven. Eights, they can sometimes hold on to a guy. Nines, they start to get their pick of what dudes they want. And then tens, obviously, they can get the best dudes they possibly can. And they certainly are picky and they should be because they deserve to be as they are the hottest chicks.

7:34 So you have a girl that jumps on the online dating platforms. She doesn't want to fuck around with dudes who are just fuck boys. She doesn't want you to hit it and quit it. She wants to know what are you looking for, which is another way of saying, are you looking for a long-term relationship? Are you just a fuck boy? Are you just going to use me and throw me to the side the way so many guys have done? And the reason I'm asking this is because I'm past my peak.

7:58 I'm past my peak or I'm just about past my peak. I'm feeling the stress of time. I may have a couple kids and I'm a little bit insecure about that. So I'm going to tell you straight up, what are you looking for? And I want to know. Okay. Also, girls who have kids, they're going to say, hey, I have a couple kids. I'm divorced. I have a peg leg. I laugh like a sailor. I have the BO of a man who works at 7-Eleven. When I come, I spray everywhere.

8:22 And when I give a blow job, I use my teeth. Is that a deal breaker for you? Like girls will just straight up say this stuff. And some of you guys know what I'm talking about. Well, once again, it's a simple way to save time. They don't want to mess with the dude who isn't serious about getting in a long-term relationship. Now, this puts us in a very bad position, doesn't it? Because if we say, oh, I'm looking for a long-term relationship, I have a house with an extra couple rooms, I want to move your family in, I've already picked out the ring, let's go on a date, and I'm going to wear a tuxedo, and you wear a wedding dress, and we're going to get married.

8:54 Okay? If you say that, that's going to not attract her. So by the very virtue of women asking that question, they're putting dudes like us in a bad position because they're setting it up so that we either lose their attraction, we look needy, we look try-hard, we look too thirsty. Or we tell them the truth, which is, dude, I want to fuck you first to see if I like you, and then she blows us out. So, look, women don't know, oftentimes, the positions they put us in, but as intelligent men, anytime you want to master a game, you have to learn the rules and learn the psychology of your quote-unquote opponent.

9:32 Now, I don't consider women an opponent, I'm just making an analogy. Calm down, Sergeant Hader, relax, Captain Negatron. I'm just making an analogy, okay? So if she's the opponent, we have to look at her reasoning, and her reasoning is quite damn justified, wouldn't you agree? If your clock was ticking for you to get a girl, and all girls wanted to do was get your sex, wouldn't you do the same filtration process? Of course you would. And that's the way we understand women is we put ourselves in their shoes.

10:00 So what's the correct answer to this? Well, in my experience, it's telling her kind of what she wants to hear, which is you're looking for a long-term relationship, but it's at the same time saying, I'm not down to jump into one super fast. So if that's a deal-breaker for you, let me know, okay? So that has all the right elements. Tells her what she wants to hear, which is you're not just a fuckboy, you're not just trying to get laid, you're actually kind of serious. And dude, you are kind of serious.

10:26 I know, because the vast majority of you, 99% of you, want to date around a little bit, have some abundance, yeah, have some sex, and then find a girl who's the best girl for you. So it's not necessarily a lie if you say you're looking for a long-term relationship. The vast majority of you guys are, but you want to play the field a little bit first, and justifiably, from quantity, pick quality. From tons of girls, pick your queen. You sift through the canyon mules, sea donkeys, and mountain trolls to find the few hot chicks, and then from those hot girls, you pick the one that has the best personality.

11:03 Obviously, that's what we all want. I'm no idiot. Dude, I've talked to you guys all the time, every day about this. This is exactly what most dudes want. So if you say, I'm looking for an LTR, and that's the way I'd always say it. I'm looking for an LTR, period. And then I'd say, which is necessary, relationships that start fast, end fast. And what that means is, I'm not looking to jump in anything. Yeah, I'm looking for a long-term relationship, but I'm not just going to dive into wedding bliss with you.

11:34 I don't fucking know you yet. So we have to communicate that as well, which is attractive. So you say, I'm looking for an LTR, but I've found that relationships that start fast, end fast. Okay, period. Then you say, if that's a deal breaker for you, I totally understand. Just let me know. Now, morally speaking, you have to understand, okay, dude, like this chick's biological clock is ticking. Am I just going to hit it and quit it? Am I really giving her the potential to be in a long-term relationship with me?

12:04 Or is she kind of like that moped where I'm like, yeah, she's kind of got a hot face, but her body's blown out. Or she's kind of a butter face. Everything is good but her face. And I just want to hit it doggy style and then quit it. Bro, I've been there so many times. She's got some racked fake tits, some bolt-ons, and you're just like, dude, I want to see those so bad. But her grill, bro, she's got a dead tooth in the front. It looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

12:31 Look, I know how we think, dude. I know how we think, and I think that way too. And girls think that way about us too. Once again, we're just humans. This is how we are. So nobody get butt hurt. It's just how we are. We all talk shit about everybody else. So if she's just a seven, are you really going to do that to her? Like say, yeah, I'm looking for a long-term relationship. Do my whole template and then you know you're just going to hit it and quit it.

12:53 It's kind of fucked up. But if she asks that and you're like, you know what? She looks pretty hot. She seems pretty cool. She's into the same shit I am. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. I'm not giving any guarantees. I mean, Jesus, I think it takes years to get to know somebody. So certainly I can't promise this chick anything. But I'm going to tell her the truth. Listen, I'm looking for a long-term relationship, but relationships that start fast and fast. So I definitely want to take things slow.

13:18 If it turned out we ever dated, if that's a deal breaker for you, just let me know. And bro, like no girl is going to say that's a deal breaker for her because if she did, then she's the psycho one. So you're in the clear. Now, the same thing is true when she says, hey, I have kids or hey, I have a peg leg or hey, I need to be de-packed of my poop every day and I need you to reach into my butthole and do it for me.

13:39 These are the decisions you need to make and a lot of chicks will come straight out with it. But you need to know, and I'm going to say this as gently as possible, is that if she comes at you with that question, you can realistically assume she's been used. She's probably past her prime. She's really like the dude who blew her out because she had kids. So she's going to cut to the chase. And honestly, it's a little bit of a warning sign for me. But again, I totally understand why they do it.

14:09 I would do it too if I were in their shoes. Like if I had a clock that was ticking and I had to get a girl before X date and girls just wanted to use me for my dates, right? Think about it. Girl just wants to use you for your dates to take her out, which some girls do. And you have a clock that's ticking. You would do this exact same thing. Hey, what are you looking for? And she's like, I'm just looking to have fun and fucking go out and drink on your dollar.

14:31 You'd be like, kick rocks with your head down, you fucking treasure troll. I want nothing to do with you. Beat it, right? This is exactly what chicks do. But you get a girl that says, yeah, you know, like I'm looking to settle down. And, you know, I think it takes some time to get to know somebody. So I'm not going to settle down quickly. If that's a deal breaker for you, let me know. You'd be like, oh, no, that's not a deal breaker. I just wanted to make sure you weren't some playgirl just trying to get free dates.

14:55 See, it's the exact same thing. Now, that might beg the question for you guys. Well, what's our sexual marketplace value? What's the peak age? This is going to surprise a lot of you. 40, 40 years old. Is when a man becomes his peak sexual value. And it can even go up from there. I mean, I plan to be attractive to women when I'm the old folks home. And I'm going to be hitting on the nurses. Like I talk to Marissa about it all the time. I'm like, dude, once you kick off your wave.

15:24 Frickin' Mark Skings is going to come out of the chute. And just game all the little 30-year-old nurses in the old folks home. And it's true, man. One of the positive things. I should say one of the many positive things about being a dude. Is that we continue to get more and more attractive. So even if you're a little bit older. All good, man. It's all good. But you have to be prepared. That when a chick is, you know, in her 30s. Getting into 40s. Sometimes even later.

15:49 Like in her 50s. She's going to ask these questions. And when you understand why she asks it. You can make some conclusions about her. And you can also answer in a way that she wants to hear. And get the first date with her without any resistance. So one last thing I want to say about this is. In my episodes regarding frame control. I talk a lot about like frame reversals. Okay. If a girl says to you. Why don't you have a girlfriend? You would reverse it and say the real question is.

16:17 Why don't you have a boyfriend? But in seduction, there are many gray area if then scenarios. And what I mean by that is. There are some rules that apply to all girls across all situations. Right? If some chick asks you sarcastically. Ew. Why are you wearing that outfit? Of course you're going to do the frame reversal that I've taught. Right? I know you're trying to get me undressed right now. But relax. We just met. Okay. But in this situation. You don't want to do a frame reversal.

16:43 So she's like. What are you looking for? And you're like. The real question is. What are you looking for? That just makes you look like an asshole. In this situation. You can answer it. Because as I've taught you guys. You always want to be 20% real. With the girl in the beginning. Okay. 80% flirting. 80% control in the frame. 80% the leader. The masculine presence. But then. In a situation where she's genuinely. Trying to figure something out. And you're addressing her femininity. And respecting it. That's when you're going to get major attraction points.

17:13 So you have to know. When to do frame control reversals. And when to just answer honestly. And in this situation. You have to answer honestly. Because she's genuinely putting herself out there in a way. She's like. Look. I'm sick of being used. This is essentially what she's saying. I'm sick of being used. My sexual marketplace value is tanking like the Titanic. And I don't want to waste my time. I'm tired of fuck boys. I have a couple kids. I know that's a deal breaker for a lot of guys.

17:39 What are you looking for? Right? And we want to address that directly. So I'm telling you. This is the right answer. And again. I'm going to say it for you. If you want to write it down. I'm looking for an LTR. But I believe that relationships that start fast end fast. So we definitely have to take it slow. If it turned out we had chemistry. If that's a deal breaker for you. Just let me know. You know. No big deal. Something like that. Send that shit.

18:01 Every time bro. They'd be like. Oh no. Not a deal breaker. Just making sure. There's so many fuck boys on this. This tinder. And this hinge. And bumble. And everything. I just want to make sure. Yeah. I totally understand. Absolutely understood. So anyway. And then you go back into attraction building. On a high note. Ask her for the hangout. And then again. If she makes the cut. Then maybe you will do a couple laps with her around the track. But if she shows up. And she's got a big old badonkadonk butt.

18:27 And you're not down with that. Then just be honest. So there's ways to do this. But in this situation. Once again. Make sure to address it directly. And that is exactly how you do it. Alright boys. That's it for me in this podcast. Got another awesome one coming up on Wednesday. So stay tuned for that. Once again. I want to thank all you guys. Who have given me the reviews. They are absolutely spectacular. Please keep on coming man. The more reviews I get. The more I get ranked in iTunes.

18:51 And the faster this podcast grows. So every single one of you. Who have even done any review for me. On any platform. That has truly helped me. And I do appreciate the reciprocation. Of how much I've tried to help you. Seriously man. It means the world to me. I tear up in my non-shooting eye. Alright boys. Once again. I got an awesome one dropping on Wednesday. So please stay tuned. And I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

19:38 We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.