10 Pieces of Advice About Dating, Girls, Confidence, and Happiness From Your Uncle Mark Sing

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today, we are going to talk about 10 pieces of advice about dating, girls, confidence, and happiness from your uncle, Mark Sing. Why, that's me. Now, these are random topics that I constantly write down in my notepad on my phone. I always drive around and I'm like, ooh, I should talk about that.

0:37 And I write these down. But I don't feel like all 10 of these would necessarily warrant a 20-minute episode. So I'm just going to kind of jump around, give you guys pieces of advice that I think about a lot, but that I wouldn't really be able to fit into an entire episode so that you can get the knowledge without me having to stuff the episodes full of filler just to make one single point. But instead, I'll slap 10 points in here in this one single episode so you can get the information, get the content, get the self-development, get the girl, and get the happiness, which is what this podcast is all about.

1:12 Before I jump into the content, I want to thank all you champions again for those damn reviews. Man, they keep coming. Man, they make my leg jiggle with so much joy that puts the pop in my giddy-up, the bounce in my step, and the twinkle in my eye. Jesus, those fucking reviews are awesome. They keep coming in. If you've left me one, you know who you are. Go ahead, smack yourself on the ass. You are a goddamn champion. May your path be illuminated with clarity and dissolve all illusion.

1:38 And may your infinite wisdom and boundless compassion heal the suffering of all sentient beings. Thank you, oh, wise one. Thank you. And if you're listening and you want to go ahead and leave me a review, subscribe, tell a friend about it, whatever you want to do, go ahead and email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com, and I will send you a bunch of cool shit. I actually sent this guy, The Conversation Sniper, the other day. He's like, man, you always talk about that stupid book, The Conversation Sniper, and I thought it was like stupid lines in it, but he's like, man, these are really freaking funny.

2:09 And I was like, I know, dude, I've been working on these for probably 15 years just doing exactly what I do with this podcast, which is take notes. Anytime I hear something funny, anytime something funny comes out of this pie hole, I write it down and I will put that into the book, The Conversation Sniper, which will be yours in addition to Guide to the Female Orgasm and Three Texts to Build Massive Attraction in Women. So once again, no matter what you do, man, if you leave me a review, preferably with writing, and obviously, preferably a five-star review, subscribe to the podcast, tell a friend about it, whatever.

2:41 Any way you think you want to help me out, even tell your dog about it and just be like, man, that Mark Singh really throws down some content. Hey, Mark, I told my dog about it. Here you go, brother. Take The Conversation Sniper and smack yourself on the ass with it. You're a champion. So email me again at coachmarksingh at gmail.com, and I will send that to you. All right, without further ado, boys, let's go ahead and jump into this one where I'm going to give tons of random pieces of advice.

3:05 We're going to jump all over the place here, but I really think these things are important. I think about it a lot myself, but once again, I don't feel each one warrants its own episode. So let's go ahead and get into it. Number one, when in social situations, stop self-monitoring and instead be in the now. Okay, so what I see time and time again in the bars and the nightclubs when I see dudes talking to girls is they're very cognizant about how they're standing. They're cognizant about what they're saying.

3:33 They're very cognizant about what's going on rather than just being in the present moment. So a big sticking point with guys like you and me is this, is we're so into the self-development thing that we probably find ourselves thinking about self-development while we're talking to people. So in this podcast, for example, I spend a lot of time teaching you guys rules, techniques, tactics, how to put social pressure on yourself, who's controlling the frame. So when you're in that moment, you're probably thinking about it and you're like, oh, is my body language okay?

4:05 Am I doing the right kind of eye contact? Did I say the right thing? Who's controlling the frame here? And you're like in your head rather than in the present moment. So here's what I suggest. When you're in social situations, try to forget all that stuff because all the work that you've done on yourself up until that moment is what's going to make the difference. It's like what they say, your training comes out when the war actually hits. You can't be doing training necessarily while you're doing it, although that's training too.

4:34 But in that moment, you want to forget all the tactics, forget all the techniques, forget about frame control, and just try to be in the present moment. Because the present moment is going to reveal all the work you've done on yourself previously, and it's going to come out. Now, are you going to master it? Are you going to be perfect? No, you're going to make mistakes, but that's okay because that's also part of your training for next time. See how that works? But if you're self-monitoring and you're trying to throw out things with trying, that is pushing yourself in a way that isn't natural, you're actually going to hinder yourself.

5:07 So a good example of this is if you're ripped. Okay, a lot of ripped guys will go to bars and I watch them and it's fucking hilarious to see. They'll have really nice bodies and you can tell they're like standing in ways and posing in ways where they're trying to show off their muscles. But what you should do is just be completely relaxed, completely in the present moment. Forget about your good body. Like if you have a good body, just let it be there and just don't think about it.

5:30 Don't pull out your shirt to try to get it off your fat. Don't like scratch the back of your head to try to sew a girl your bicep. You want to be out of your mind in that way. So the nature of mastery is this, is you're listening to this podcast. You're getting all these skills. You're getting all these techniques. I want you to practice them. But when practicing them, try to forget about them in a way, if you know what I mean. So what I suggest is, okay, today I'm going to work on this concept and I'm not going to think about anything else.

5:57 I'm not going to think about my body language. I'm not going to think about who's controlling the frame. And then afterwards, you can do an after action report that says, oh, dude, he was controlling the frame in that moment. Or, oh, I could have said this in that moment. Then when you do the after action report, it's going to go into your subconscious mind. And the next time you get into a set with a girl, you'll remember to say what you forgot to say last time.

6:20 And then it becomes part of your personality, if you will. And it's going to come out unconsciously from that point forward. But if you're constantly self-monitoring, you're almost sticking yourself in the same point over and over again. And you're not progressing. Actually, come to think of it, this probably could be its own podcast. But anyway, just want to make that point. Maybe I will do a podcast on that in the future. It seems like I could go on and on, which is definitely my nature to do so.

6:44 But I'm going to leave it at that. Okay. In social situations, stop self-monitoring. Be in the present moment. Don't worry about your body. Don't worry about what you're saying. Just try to be there. And then after the fact, adjust. And then as you go and get more reps, you're going to get better and better. All right. Number two has to do with things about yourself that you don't like. You don't want to be in that horrible place where you can't accept something about yourself, but at the same time, you refuse to change it.

7:11 Okay. So let's say you're kind of ripped, but you have a little bit of a spare tire, or you look like I did a chicken McNugget with tits and you refuse to change it. Okay. You refuse to work out. You refuse to go get liposuction. You refuse whatever, but at the same time, you won't accept it. Because if you're in that place where you refuse to change it, you refuse to do what it takes to change it, and you refuse to accept it, that's called purgatory.

7:35 So you either have to accept it or you change it. There is no in-between. Okay. Step number three, you want a woman who can fit in a canoe without capsizing it. You know it. I know it. Hell, even you know it. But does this woman make you better? And what I mean by that is woman who can fit in a canoe without capsizing it. Obviously, you don't want to date a mountain troll. You don't want to date a ham planet fatty. You don't want to date a chick who you're putting in your car.

8:00 You're on two wheels and you're driving like those dudes do in the Saudi Arabian desert on two wheels because she's so fat. You want a girl who's hot is basically what I'm trying to say. But at the same time, the most important question is, does she make you better? That was always my prerequisite. Does this woman make me better? Or am I having to constantly make her better? And when I say better is, is she positive? Is she growth-oriented? Does she have an outlook on life where she wants to grow?

8:27 She wants to be positive. She sees the good in things. She's benevolent. She's compassionate. And she's somebody who you would trust with your life if it came down to it. Because a good woman behind you, which I happen to have and I've seen this, makes you go so much further. Makes you go so much further. A big part of why this podcast is so successful is because of my girl. Just the way she supports me, she believes in me, she keeps telling me to be positive.

8:51 Like sometimes I'll have bad months or whatever where like downloads are concerned and she was always rooting me on. She's my biggest fan. That's what you want to get. So yeah, I understand we want our girls to be hot. We don't want them to be fat. I get that. But the next most important thing is, does this girl make me better or does she make me worse? In fact, that's probably the most important thing. But the prerequisite on top of that is that she's hot. Obviously, we both want hot girls.

9:17 Come on. We're guys. We're very visual. I ain't go into a whole shebang about why that is too, but I won't. But does she make you better? That should be your most important question. Number four has to do with money and success. And when I was starting to get money, I would always fear losing it because I came from a very anxiety-induced kind of consciousness. I was always anxious, worried about what could go wrong, worried about what could happen. And what I learned is it's not necessarily the money, it's me.

9:47 And what I mean by that is I'm the mechanism that makes the money. So as long as I'm bettering myself, as long as I'm working on myself, do I trust myself to be able to make that money again? If this podcast was shut down and I lost my coaching business, could I start something completely different and make it successful? I mean, what do you think? I personally think I could because I have the skills, I have the intelligence, I have the experience, I have the drive, I've done it before.

10:14 So it really gives you a lot of peace when you know, listen, I've been successful once, I could repeat this if I had to. If I lost everything, I'm talking everything in my life. And if you lost everything in your life, the chances of you getting back to where you are right now are almost guaranteed. Because that's your thermostat, that's where you're at right now. And the better you get, each little step you take up, each amount of money you make more and more each month, that's going to continue to solidify the possibility that you could duplicate it again in the future.

10:46 Because you're the mechanism. The result isn't necessarily the money. The result is your self-development that has brought you to the point of today that's really important. You're the machine that creates it. You're like a money machine that prints money. How much you're printing right now depends on how much self-development you've done. Personally, I believe it depends on how much coaching you've done. That also depends on what kind of girls you're going to get. But since I've done so much coaching, since I've worked on me, my brain, my soul, myself so much, I could duplicate this.

11:17 I know I could. And that's the nature of reality is you're going to probably end up in the same place you were over and over again. Unless, of course, you stop developing. But when you continue to develop, you continue to grow. So you're going to continue to grow your bottom line. You're going to continue to grow your revenue, your net worth, and everything like that, as long as you continue working on yourself. So it's not necessarily the million-dollar idea that's important to have. It's you. And that's why they say, first you have to be and then have.

11:47 A lot of people think, once I make the millions, then I'll be that millionaire. But the truth is, is first you're a millionaire. First, you're a girl magnet in your being, in your self-development, and then you get the results. That's the difference between the way poor people think and the way rich people think. The way guys who are bad with women think and the way guys who are good with women think. First you be, then you have. As long as you be, as long as the mechanism is you, which it always is, you could duplicate it over and over again.

12:17 And therefore, the fear of losing it goes out the window. All right, the next one is super random, but I was watching this horror flick the other night because it was Halloween a couple weeks ago. And I used to be really scared of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the guy wearing, remember that movie Scream, where the dude wore that scary ghost mask and ghost movies and stuff. But ever since I've really worked on myself, I don't really get afraid of those things anymore. And I don't really get afraid of the dark.

12:46 When I'm in the woods, I'm not really afraid of mountain lions or bears, even though potentially I should be, but the way I always think of it is like, now I'm the hunter. So whenever like, I don't know, take this or leave it. I don't give a shit. But whenever you're like watching a show and it's like scary, right? Like you see a poltergeist or you see like some villain who's going to come get you. Think about for a second, man, I killed that motherfucker. What if I was hunting him?

13:11 What if I was the predator? And when you stick yourself in that predator mindset, suddenly you don't fear those things anymore. And when I'm in the woods, I'm always thinking to myself, dude, I'm the apex predator. Like a lot of my friends are afraid of grizzly bears and moose. Like my one buddy's like super afraid of moose, which is probably justifiable because they kill more human beings than most other animals because they go in the rut and they stomp your ass out. And I'm like, dude, a moose comes, man.

13:36 I'll take him out, right? That's the way you have to think. So I want you guys to be the predator and even somebody who you're afraid of. What about you, man? You're dangerous too, right? You freaking can fight. You can defend yourself to some level. Imagine yourself as that apex predator and those things which you fear go down significantly. All right. Now completely 180 degrees shifting gears. I want to quickly talk about my first phone call technique off of Tinder. Some of my clients are having really good success by calling the girl once they snag her number off Tinder.

14:08 Now, very few people do this, but it's been extremely successful. And usually what happens is she doesn't answer. Okay. So off of Tinder, you say, yo, you know, I don't like texting on Tinder. How would you feel about tossing me your number? She gives you a number. And then what you do is you call her pretty soon thereafter. Okay. Typically I suggest calling around 6 PM when she's off work. And so that you guys can have a little bit of a conversation when most girls are typically free.

14:34 So you call her, but most times she won't pick up. And then you immediately call again. And sometimes they'll pick up. Sometimes they won't 50, 50. Then what you do is immediately after those two phone calls, you send her a text that says, you know what? We haven't even had our first fight yet. And already you're ignoring my phone calls. And then she'll say, ha ha ha. What the heck? Who is this? You'd be like, what's up? It's Jake off Tinder. And she's like, oh my God, I didn't know the number.

14:58 That's why I didn't pick it up. You'd be like, oh good. I'd like to cut to the chase. How would you feel about a quick phone call? And either you take it right there and then, or you guys schedule it. Now, one caveat for this. Make sure you're good on the phone. I suggest this to guys who are on the phone a lot, customer service representatives, salesmen. People are very good at speaking. But if you have a very good speaking voice, if you're good at just thinking on your feet, if you're good at just glad handling, telling stories, bullshitting, teasing her.

15:27 If you're like good at talking, this is an amazingly effective technique. Once you get her on the phone, if you're a good salesman, you can run some game on her. And it cuts out so much time. And it also makes the date way more likely to stick. I mean, the flaking percentage of girls who flake on a date, who you called first and spoke to for whatever, 10, 15, 20 minutes, sometimes as long as even a half an hour, if you guys really click, the flaking level is like infinitesimally small.

15:57 So this is a really good technique that a lot of my clients have been having good success with. So if you feel like it could work for you too, steal it. All right. Number seven was something that I myself experienced to a very high level. And I think you guys will relate to this. And that's not feeling like yourself because of failure. And what this means is, is if you're failing in your life right now, you're not getting girls, you're not getting money. And it just feels like it's not you, right?

16:22 It feels like, dude, I'm a fucking champion. Why aren't I making the money that I should be making? Why aren't I getting the girls that I should be getting? And it's like incongruent with how you view yourself and it's messing with you. You feel like, dude, this isn't me. What the fuck? And it's super goddamn frustrating. But here's the way I want you to look at it is that everybody, including me, and trust me, this is even more true for me than most people have had failure after failure, after failure, after failure before they got their success.

16:50 And the way I want you to look at it is that failure is the stepping stones to success. You have to go through that failure in order to be the deep, wise man who I know you want to be. And going back to my other point, in order for you to be able to be the mechanism that's going to be able to get the success again. If you just hit a home run right out of the gate, which a lot of people do, you don't have that majority of experience, the majority of failures, all the things you learned on the way up to your success to be able to lean back against when times get tough.

17:21 So a lot of times when people hit a home run right out of the gate, man, they fucking lose it. They lose their millions of dollars. They lose all the girls that they're getting because they don't have the depth. It's like a guy who's born with a silver spoon in his ass. I would take a guy who suffered like I did and probably like you have over that guy any day of the week. It's easy to have a lay down. It's easy to give a give me, right?

17:43 Like somebody who inherited a million dollars, like big fucking deal. You don't have to work for that. You don't have to fail for that. And when you look at a successful person, you don't see all the years of failure, all the years of self-doubt, all the years of depression. Bro, I've held a gun in my mouth, dude. I fucking tore up my entire office once because my coaching business wasn't working. I fucking just destroyed everything because I was so pissed. Nothing was working. But I honestly feel that those failures were necessary for me to be the effective coach that I am today because when you hire me as a coach, I can look you in the eyes and say, bro, I know exactly how you feel.

18:20 And you say to me, how do you know how I feel? I'll be like, because I've been there, dude. I tore apart my office. I fucking threw my computer out the window. I was so pissed. I have been rejected time and time again from women. I have lost money. I have wasted years trying to build businesses. And now I'm here and I finally found the road up the mountain. I finally found the road to success. And I want to pull you up there in the shortest, easiest way possible.

18:47 Give me your hand, man. Let's do this. So while you may not feel like yourself because of failure, I want you to know that your failure is building yourself. Your failure is adding to yourself. Your failure is necessary to get to that point. So yeah, that's not you, man. You're not a failure. You're not defined by what you're going through right now, but you are defined about how you look at it, how you react to it. That's what defines you. So all you have to do is just keep going, keep struggling, keep trying, keep open those girls, keep putting social pressure on yourself, keep working on your businesses.

19:21 And eventually and inevitably it will succeed. Failure cannot cope with persistence. All right. Number eight is how to completely eliminate the fear of approaching. This definitely warrants its own podcast episode, but I just want to say something real quick about it. It's all about getting into state. It's all about getting warmed up. You guys want to like see that perfect 10 when you haven't even talked to one person for two days and expect to open her and to get her into you. Dude, you have to open freaking 50 people before you talk to her.

19:51 So all it is, is you work up, you ease into it like an old man into a warm bath. First you open a bum, then you open an old lady, then you open a fat chick, then you open a seven and you work up to it. That's it. That's the way to get into state. And when I say state, it's that feeling of flow where you can just talk the way I'm talking now. Just ideas are coming out of me. This is really easy. I feel like you and I are vibing.

20:15 That state and you get into it simply by warming, warming up. All right. Number nine is the correct way to tease girls. Okay. So whenever you're teasing a girl, you have to realize that most of the time she doesn't know who you are. So if you try to do a deadpan delivery where you're not cluing her in that you're being sarcastic, she may likely get pissed off at you. So what I would always do is I would put a rye smile on top of my teases.

20:42 Rye is spelled W-R-Y. It's kind of like that half smile and I might even wink at her when I say something. Okay. Now, if she gets pissed, what are you going to do? You're going to be real with her and let her know that you were just kidding. So I noticed a lot of guys who take my information from the conversation sniper. There's some highly sarcastic statements in there that can come off as asshole-ish unless you deliver it correctly. So what I always suggest to do is watch your delivery, give a rye smile, wink at her, maybe punch her very lightly in the arm, or you could even say, I'm just messing with you.

21:15 And if she gets mad, instead of being a dick about it, you can apologize. Hey, listen, I didn't know that you were so sensitive. I like to fool around a lot. That's just my personality. Don't take it personally. I'm just messing with you. Cool. And she'll be like, okay, cool. So that's the way you deal with teasing a woman. I noticed a lot of guys mess up where this is concerned. So I wanted to toss it in there. All right. Number 10 has to do with wilderness survival.

21:40 Something I've been wanting to talk about for this whole time I've had this podcast, but I've held myself back because I know you guys aren't necessarily here to listen to that stuff, but fuck it. I'm going to make you learn how to survive in the wilderness. I want to tell you three really cool facts about wilderness survival. Okay. The first one is really cool. So next time you see the sun, what I want you to do is take your four fingers and put the pinky finger right under the sun and then count down how many fingers it takes to get to the horizon.

22:10 Okay. So basically between the sun and the horizon, you're sticking your hand out in front of your face. And if you have to use two hands, you just stack the hands one on top of each other. Each finger is 15 minutes of time. Okay. So you can tell how long it's going to take for the sun to go down the next time you see it, put your hand underneath the sun, pinky fingers, 15 minutes, ring fingers, 15 minutes, middle fingers, 15 index fingers, 15. So an hour with one hand, two hands would be two hours.

22:37 And then you could even put another hand underneath it. Like, let's say it's two hand, two and a half hands. That's two and a half hours. Pretty cool. Huh? I always love using that when I'm in the woods. Tip number two, spider webs. Check this out. Native Americans would know when they were going to get a really hard rain by looking at spider webs. So if spider webs are high in the trees and they're really thin and they're way up there and they're really, you know, you can tell how they're thin, right?

23:03 That means there's no rain coming because the spiders feel comfortable to make their spider webs really high and to go for the flies that are flying up at that level. But if the spider webs are low and really thick, that means a rain is coming. Isn't that crazy? Freaking spiders can feel like the barometric pressure and change their spider web mojo just based on what rain is coming. I think that's pretty sick. And the third one, guys, if you're ever hiking and you get lost in the woods, this is basic survival skills 101.

23:32 If you ever get lost in the woods, start heading down, look for a river, follow the river out. Like if you're lost, lost. Last thing you want to do is do a bunch of circles looking for your trail. I mean, you can look for it for a few minutes. Don't get me wrong. You may want to do like a square pattern, a big like, if you can, one mile square, keeping the sun over your right shoulder when you're walking this way, then maybe keeping over your left shoulder when you're walking that way, something like that.

23:57 But if you're lost, lost, lost, right? You've tried for several hours, sleep at night, build a fire, keep warm, and then follow the river out. Why is that? Because rivers usually end up in some sort of civilization. People camp next to rivers, rivers are the source of life, so you follow the stream out. Cool, I got some wilderness survival into one of my podcasts. Epic, man. There's so much information. I could probably do 180 episodes on wilderness survival alone. I absolutely love talking about it. So that was it, guys.

24:29 10 pieces of advice about dating, confidence, and happiness, and how to survive in the woods from your Uncle Mark Singh. Hope you enjoyed it. Hope you found some useful nuggets to apply to your own life. If you want to go ahead and leave me a review, please email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com, and I will send you those three awesome programs, as well as several videos that I've thrown on top. As a seer, thank you for supporting me and my podcast. All right, boys. I got another one hitting on Wednesday.

24:55 That's really good. So please stay tuned, and I will see you in the next episode. Bye. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.