10 Tips to Avoid Losing a Girl in a Relationship

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. And in this episode, we're going to talk about 10 tips to avoid losing a girl in a relationship. You know, I was originally going to title this 10 tips for a successful long-term relationship. But did you know that when you talk about avoiding something, it actually increases the click-through rate quite substantially?

0:43 And if you really look at that, that's kind of sad, isn't it? That kind of sucks that we're always trying to avoid pain more than we're trying to get something. And that's actually one of the biggest human motivators is to avoid losing something rather than getting something. But actually, when you're in your masculine energy, you should be looking towards what you want to accomplish as I talk about ad nauseum in this podcast. But hey, you clicked on it. I appreciate that. So in this episode, I am going to over-deliver as I am apt to do.

1:12 And I'm going to give you something like 12 or 14 tips that I found that have made my relationship successful with Marissa. I've been with her for about six years now. And also relationships of my clients and what I've studied about masculine and feminine polarity. What I've studied about communication. I'm going to give you guys all the good stuff in this one. So please stay tuned until the very end. Before I jump into the content, I wanted to thank you guys again for the amazing reviews every day, man.

1:41 I log on. It's just so much love. I wish I could call you guys out individually, but you know who you are and I really, really appreciate it. If you want to leave me a review on any of the podcast apps or even if you subscribe or even just tell friends about it, you can email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com and I will send you the conversation sniper, how to make her look like a screaming demon that just got hit with a gigantic tornado, and also three texts to build massive attraction in women.

2:12 Impress your friends. Baffle your enemies. Okay, so how to avoid losing her in a relationship. A lot of you guys get all blown out within the first few months or even the first few weeks or in the first few years. And there's typical things that guys do wrong when it comes to girls in relationships. So I'm going to go over those. Some of these pertain to previous podcasts that I've recorded, but some of them haven't. So really pay attention to this. All right, so you want a great girl.

2:37 You want that solid dime piece who is freaking fine as hell, has a great life, beautiful smile, beautiful eyes, banging body. She has a great job or maybe she wants to be a stay-at-home mom and take care of your kids and she's absolutely perfect. And that's the girl that you want. Well, here's the thing, bro. You have to become her equal. You have to become the best version of yourself that you can be. Because I'll tell you, if there's a discrepancy there between her worth as a woman and your worth as a man, she's going to blow you out.

3:08 She's going to find out your flaws. She is going to discover who you really are as a man and you're going to be left. Now, the great thing about men is that we can improve ourselves. Women, you know, looks are super important. And unfortunately, there's not a lot they can do about their looks outside of surgery, maybe losing some weight. But they're kind of relegated to how they were born as far as their like value in men's eyes. Sure, they can work on their personality and all that stuff.

3:34 But the most important thing is how a woman looks. You know it. I know it. Hell, even you know it. So if a woman is born a certain way, it's kind of where she stays. She can move a little bit. Like I say, get a boob job, maybe get an ass lift, get some junk thrown in the trunk. She can improve her looks a little bit. But women cannot improve their attractiveness nearly as much as we can. So we're really blessed in the way that when we do the work that you're doing right now by listening to a podcast like this one, you are slowly improving yourself.

4:04 So literally, the more you do this self-development, the more you try to get better at attraction, the more you put yourself under social pressure, the more you go into your uncomfort zone to become the best man you can be. Literally, the way it works is the more attractive you are becoming to women. So you want that super fine 10. I get it. But dude, you have to improve yourself to be able to get her. Now, this isn't an excuse to be a armchair pickup artist, as I call them, which is basically just work on yourself and not put yourself out there.

4:35 In fact, this should incentivize you to get out there and start talking to girls, start getting the social pressure because you also need the skill set to be able to attract a super high quality girl, which is what I know you want. So you need to do reps. You need to practice. There's no better time than now. Put yourself out there. Once you become that solid version of yourself, you will be able to attract that girl and she'll have far less chance of leaving you because you're the real thing.

5:03 You're not just pretending. All right. As I've mentioned in a previous episode, you want to make her wait and ask to be your girlfriend. So I talked about this and how to escalate with women. And with women, what we want to do is have them be the barometer for our escalations, both physically as well as relationship wise. So when she starts hinting that she wants to be your girlfriend, she's going to say things like, what are we? Are you seeing other girls? You know, what do you think about the future?

5:34 Some girls will ask, what are you looking for? Things like that. And you know that she wants to be your girlfriend. That's when you ask her. In my opinion, you should never ask a woman to be your girlfriend until she's hinting at it. And therefore, you make her wait, you make her earn it. She's going to value it that much more. And therefore, the chances of her leaving you will go down substantially. As I've talked a little bit here and there in other episodes, you want to make her fall in love with you by doing a lot of different things, including being the sanctuary, always being that guy who she wants to be around because you make her feel good.

6:09 And then also being slightly out of her grasp. I can't remember specifically in what episodes I spoke about this, but those are the basic principles. So you're not making her your first priority. You're always making your life your number one priority. You're independent. But when you see her, she has the best time ever. Okay. You listen to her. You show her a good time. You give her amazing sex. And then you pull it away just before she's satiated. You make her wait. You hang out probably about 80% of the amount of time that she wants to hang out.

6:40 And when you do hang out, you are that sanctuary and you're slightly out of her grasp. All right. You also need to know how and when to be vulnerable. One of the big complaints that I hear from women about men is that men don't open up to women in the right kind of way. So I recorded a podcast several months ago called the TNC rule, Tango and Charlie rule. It's just called the TNC rule. I think it's like how to make a girl fall in love with you.

7:06 But in this episode, that's where I talk about vulnerability. Okay. So what I always say is on the first date, you want to be about 80% flirting, busting your chops, teasing her, all the techniques I teach, and then 20% quote unquote real. Telling her a little bit about your vulnerabilities, showing her the real you. Second date, you want to knock that down to 70-30. Third date, about 60-40. And then when you're in a relationship, you want to do about 50-50. So with my girlfriend, I'm real with her.

7:36 You know, when I have an issue going on, I talk to her about it. I don't complain, but she does know about my vulnerabilities. She knows about my entire past, my dad dying, my best friend stabbing me in the back, you know, my bouts with anxiety, all the trials and tribulations that I've had in my life and that you've had too. And then the other 50% of the time, I'm still running game on her, right? And it's not so much game as in like trickery or manipulating her.

8:02 It's just doing all the concepts that you do naturally when you become the best version of yourself. When you become a silverback, you're running game without even thinking about it. So I'm independent. Not because it's a strategy, but it's because who I am. I put my life first, not because it's a strategy, but it's because who I am. I smack her butt when she walks by. I tease her. I give her shit. I lead her. I do all these things just naturally, but that's what you want to do.

8:29 And also 50% vulnerability. The other night, she was so happy because I was driving home from hunting and I was getting those damn leg cramps again. My legs were really twitching and I got out of the car and I got two massive leg cramps and I tried to walk them off and it was the most painful thing I ever had. We've been doing more research on it and we think it's because I've been physically exerting my legs a lot and not getting enough salt as well as electrolytes in my diet.

8:55 So we're still working on it, but I called her and I was like, dude, I am in such hell right now. I'm three hours from home. My legs will not stop cramping up when I'm driving. And she liked that because I showed her I was vulnerable to her. I needed her and I was like, I just really need to hear your voice right now. Can you talk to me? And she was all into it and it really turned her on. And so that ability to know when to be vulnerable, to be courageous enough to be vulnerable and tell her about the fears that you're going through, as well as some of the calamities that you've experienced in your past is extremely attractive.

9:27 If you haven't heard that episode yet, just look up TNC rule and the and in between TNC is an apper stand. So it's a shift seven, right? Shift seven, the apper stand. I think it's called that apper stand, the and symbol, whatever. Okay, so next you want to make sure that you are in your masculine and she is in her feminine. Okay, so inevitably women are going to test you at first and the way they test you is to try to put you in your feminine energy by doing what are called frame checks.

9:59 Okay, so she's going to test the size of your balls. It's literally her job to do that because she needs to know that you are a silverback, high value masculine man that can stand up to her. Because if you can't stand up to her, she's thinking to herself subconsciously, how's he going to stand up to life? How's he going to stand up to society? How's he going to take care of your baby if we have one? How's he going to take care of me when we are together?

10:21 So, in my opinion, some people may disagree, and I'm going to give a little caveat here at the end. But in my opinion, you need to have a stronger sense of masculine energy than she does. You need to lead her. You need to protect her. She can be strong. Marissa is very strong. My girlfriend is extremely strong. But she likes that she can let go and trust in my masculinity. So, when she's at work, she's a pipe-hitting motherfucker, right? She gets the job done. She makes a lot of money.

10:49 She has a lot of people under her. She's in a high-power executive role. But, man, when she comes home, she loves that she can just be the little girl and give in to my masculinity. Let me lead. She loves that crap. And, personally, I feel for a successful relationship, there needs to be that masculine-feminine dynamic. Now, initially, she's going to test you. The reason she's testing you is, again, to see if you're a high-value man. If you don't pass those tests, then what happens is she goes into the masculine role.

11:17 You go into the feminine role. Or you guys are about equal. You have an equal mixture of both. There's no sexual polarity there, and she loses attraction for you. Now, sometimes, and I hate seeing this, but sometimes it flips. She goes into the masculine role. He's in the feminine role. And you know what? That can work sexually for a while. But, personally, I believe, outside of the very rare cases where that works, I believe it kills attraction. And this is why you see guys who are emasculated.

11:46 You see guys where the woman is wearing the pants. You see dudes who are pussy-whipped. They get blown out so fast. That's right. Their pants fly off when the concussion hits. It's because they relented the masculine role to her. They are now in the feminine role. And you're about to be all blown out. So, when she tests you, which she will, you have to pass those tests. How do you do it? Look at my episodes on frame control. You can also get coaching with me. I know a lot of you guys struggle with this.

12:12 I have not explained all the concepts and all the strategies in this podcast. But that's a good place to start. But you have to know, dude, I have to lead. I am the man. I am supposed to be the masculine silverback. That's what turns women on. That's what gets them wet. If you don't do that, they're going to be dry as a bone. They don't have... You hear this all the time. Women who don't have sex with their man, that's the reason right there. There's no polarity.

12:38 It's like a sexual tension. Think of it as a rubber band between two people. The further they move apart, the tighter that rubber band gets, the closer they move together, the looser it gets. And if they're standing right next to each other, the rubber band is as limp as your penis is because you're not getting any sex. The reason why is because, again, there's no polarity there. So in my opinion, explaining this to her, you know, this is also based on the work of John Gray, Mars and Venus.

13:06 Remember that men are from Mars, women are from Venus. This is his work and Tony Robbins is also really into this. But if you discuss this with her, look, you need to be in your feminine. I need to be in my masculine. That's how to make the relationship work. If she's not down with that, honestly, it's a problem. It's a problem. I mean, you can still make it work by being so masculine. She naturally goes in her feminine. But sometimes, you know, you know just as well as I do, you date a girl and she's just always fighting for the masculine role.

13:34 She's being stubborn. She wants to lead. That kind of chick, man, honestly, I think you just have to blow her out and say next because not every girl is like that. But you can still have a strong girl, as I do, who relents and goes into her feminine, loves to do it. She loves it. It turns her on so much because she understands this concept. I believe that's extremely important. All right. The next tip is to have time away from each other. There's the old saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

14:03 And I really believe that's true. Your life has to be number one for you. So you need to go do shit alone. If you're always hanging out with her, always relying on her for company and you don't have friends, you don't have your own life, you don't have things you're passionate about. And your passion, your ambition, your enthusiasm for all the amazing things you do is extremely attractive. I had Marissa tell me last night, she's like, I hope our baby gets your passion for things because she's like, it's so attractive.

14:30 And that's one of the things I was blessed with is I get really obsessed with things. Like I'm obsessed with this, what I'm talking about right now. I'm obsessed with wilderness survival, camping and hunting, being out in the wilderness, having adventures. And she loves hearing my stories about what happens on those adventures because it shows I'm passionate. And passion is a part of your independence. You as a man, you need to put that as number one. What's the favorite thing you like to do? Do you enjoy your own company?

14:57 Is a really good question to ask yourself. If you don't, that's something you probably need to work on. Because if you rely on her all the time, you have that codependent vibe towards her, that neediness, it's going to turn her off and she is going to break up with you. I personally think that having two different spaces, now this is really radical, but I really believe that having two different spaces in the home is not only important, but it's essential for me, at least. I don't know what happens with you, but she lives upstairs.

15:26 I live downstairs. I live in the basement, also known as the Casa de Champion. So I live down there in the basement. We have our own beds. I don't like to sleep with chicks in my bed. She has a king-size bed upstairs. She's up there with the baby. I'm downstairs. My office is down here. Me and my bird live down here. It really works well for us. Marissa and I see each other at most a couple hours a day. You know, when we choose to spend an entire day together, we see each other more.

15:51 But I really think that space is one of the important things that keeps our relationship really strong. So consider that, you know, would you be in a situation where you could have your own bed bedroom, your own space, and at the very least, you want to have a man cave, a place where the woman doesn't come in unless she's invited, and she has her space too, right? The woman cave, we can call it, where you don't go in there unless you're invited. But for the man particularly, having that cave, that space, super important, super important.

16:20 And I'm going to talk about when to use it momentarily. All right. So the next tip is sex. You have to knock it out like a champ every single time in the bedroom. I think a lot of guys get complacent when they get in a relationship and they kind of just do the standard two or three moves. They do the same thing every time. They don't spice it up. They don't make it about her. They make it about themselves. She gets bored and she starts looking for that excitement in another man.

16:45 Now, this happens to guys too. You know, we've been with a woman for a long time. She maybe doesn't take care of herself. Maybe she's not very sexy. She doesn't go into her feminine energy. So we get sick of it and we go look for that in some other girl. It's very common. So you need to make sex just the same as it was when you first hit it. You need to make it about her, give her a smashing orgasm. You're going to know her body very well and you need to make it special.

17:11 You know, like Marissa and I, every month, at least once a month, we go out to a really nice dinner. She pays one month. I pay the next month. We inverse. The person who's paying doesn't choose the restaurant. So in the next week, we're going to some restaurant that she chose. I'm going to pay it. Then we get a hotel room. Her mom takes care of the baby and then we just have like smashing sex. You know, it really helps the relationship to have those date nights as we call them and we spare no expense.

17:41 We spend a lot of money. We congratulate each other. We celebrate each other's successes. We make it all about her and I and it really makes the relationship stronger. Man, I look forward to that date night every month. And especially when you have a kid, you have to consciously plan these things. All right. Going back to the man cave example, there's this thing called Venus talks. And I've mentioned this before in this podcast where you want to listen to her every day for about 10 minutes. So here's how it works.

18:08 She comes home from work or whatever she's doing. You guys sit down and she simply tells you about her day. You crinkle your eyebrows, stare at her mouth, say, uh-huh. Oh, really? And all you do is listen. In fact, you don't even need to say anything. You just shut the hell up. Be in the present moment. Listen to her talk. As she's doing that, she moves into her feminine energy. As you listen, you move into your masculine energy. Attraction is building in real time. Okay. She talks for 10 minutes.

18:36 You guys stand up and you hug it out. You hug for like a good 10 seconds. And then you go down to your man cave, do your man shit, watch some football, work on your gun, oil up your catapult, sharpen your sword, prepare your shield. All right, she goes and does whatever the hell she does, goes and waters her plants, plays with the baby, whatever, not your business. And that's Venus Talks. We do that every night as a matter of work on our relationship. And what it does is it builds that sexual connection between us, gets us into that all-important polarity, and makes our relationship that much stronger because she feels she's listened to, which is super important for a woman.

19:14 And instead of trying to solve her problems, which is something guys always do and which you shouldn't do, you simply just listen. You're an open space for her. She feels safe in that space and that keeps her interested. This is the way to avoid losing a girl, guys. So take notes on this. I know it's cheesy. Do we really want to sit there and listen to her a day? Not really. I mean, I find it somewhat interesting. And I love watching her talk. Like she's super cute.

19:38 The way she moves her mouth and like the way she does her little mannerisms. And she always talks with her hands. And she's got like gigantic eyes. It's really funny about Marissa. Her eyes are so big, bro. Her fucking eyelid cannot close completely. So she always has to use eye drops. It's funny. She looks like a doll kind of. Huge eyes, tiny mouth. She's really fucking beautiful. And so I just like watching her, man. Because it's like watching an animation or something. She's fucking awesome. So I enjoy it.

20:06 Gets me sexually turned on towards her. She gets turned on toward me. And then the next time we have sex, it's on. And that goes to my next point. You want to make her feel desired. I talked about this a few episodes ago. And I make her feel desired. I always comment on how she looks. And she does herself up for me, right? She always looks pretty for me. She's always trying to be in her feminine energy. Today, she was looking really hot. She was wearing all black.

20:30 And like she has bangs and her gigantic eyes and tiny mouth. And I was like, damn, do you look sexy today? She's like, I do. Right? She loves that. And you want to make her feel desired because remember, the most important thing for a woman when it comes to male-female interaction, the most important thing for a woman is to feel desired by her man. And the most important thing for a man is to feel that his woman needs her. Now, she understands this concept too. And having a successful relationship comes from her side as well.

20:59 While you can work on it and set up this dynamic and keep it successful, when you guys are working on it from both sides, it gets even more powerful. There's even more chance it's going to work. So, she understands that as the man, I want to feel like I'm needed. So, she does things to make me feel like I'm needed. And then that keeps me satisfied. My desire for her keeps her satisfied. Boom. It's working. And it's working great. My next point is to accept rather than expect.

21:27 And what that means is you have to accept the person for who they are. No matter how many girls you guys blow through, and trust me, I've blown through many looking for my queen, no girl is going to be perfect. You have this idea in your head that the perfect, solid 10, absolutely perfect, no problem, she has all the same attitudes and morals and everything that you have is out there. She's not. It's an illusion. There's chicks that are close. And I will say, Marissa's very, very fucking close.

21:54 Sometimes, I feel like we're the same person in the right kind of ways. Like, you've got to be like a key. In some ways, you're exactly the same. And in other ways, you're exactly opposite. And those need to be in the right calibration. Bro, she's like the closest chick I've ever found to that. But still, there's things about her I need to accept. Right? Her gigantic eyes. She's always putting eye drops in. And there's always tissues everywhere because she needs to clean the eye drops off her face.

22:19 Honestly, it doesn't really annoy me. I kind of think it's cute. But that could be an example, right, where no girl is going to be perfect. There's going to be things about her that you disagree with, things about her you don't absolutely love, little quirks, little things here and there. And eventually, you just have to accept it and say, I love you unconditionally. I accept you for who you are. And you also need to do that to yourself. You know, we all have flaws. We all have things about ourselves we don't like.

22:44 Can you just accept those things? Accept it as if you yourself chose it. That's the fucking secret to both accepting yourself and accepting a woman that you want to be with. All that said, I do believe you need to find a person who has the same attitudes, the same morals, and similar ambitions as you have. Right? If you're trying to be a millionaire and you have a chick with the scarcity mindset about money, she thinks money is the root of all evil. She thinks that millionaires are bastards.

23:12 What's going to happen then? So you really want to find somebody who has those same morals, the attitudes, and also ambitions. Marissa and I have very clear the same financial goal. We want to fucking kill it, take names. We want to be the best versions of ourselves. We're both working with NLP coaches. We're both improving all the time. And we agree on how to raise our daughter. So you do need to sift through lots of different girls in order to find that special gem, which I know you really want.

23:39 And it's going to take a lot, dude. And that's why you should get out there now and not be an armchair pickup artist and wait until you're quote unquote ready. No, get out there now. Not only are you going to get closer and closer to meeting that girl, but by putting that social pressure on yourself, getting out of your comfort zone, you're going to become a good enough man to be able to attract the kind of girl you really want. All right. Second to last one is relationships take work.

24:05 It's just like a business, boys. You've got to put work into it. You've got to make it a top priority. It doesn't have to be your number one priority, but it should be very much up there, right? So ultimately, Marissa and our baby are my number one priority. If I'm out doing one of my hobbies and they call me and they need something, I'm going to drop it to go save them. But I'm not always there, like just like looming over them. Helicopter dad. I'm doing my own thing.

24:29 Then when they need me, I'm back. And relationships take work. Every week, Marissa and I have a talk. We sit down on Saturday or Sunday and we say, what's going on? Okay. I noticed this. I noticed that. Even down to the dishes, we talk about everything to make sure there's no resentment because I'll tell you, most of the time fights come down to miscommunication. She thought this. You thought this. You guys get ensconced in your point of view and then you fight and you realize like, oh, I didn't realize you were thinking that way.

24:57 Oh, I didn't realize I came off like that. That's not what I meant at all. And that leads me to my final point. Communication. Communication is absolutely essential to have a successful relationship. If you don't communicate, you are going to masturbate. I just thought of that. I think it kind of works because you're going to get blown out, right? No communicate, must masturbate. It's totally true. So every week, you guys talk it out. You see what's going on. What are you thinking? What am I thinking?

25:24 Any issues? This kind of hurt me. This was kind of lackluster. Your ass is getting too big. Whatever you need to say. Because if you're unsatisfied in a certain way, you need to communicate that to her. Now, here's a big point too. In conflict, be fair and generous. This is from the spiritual book, the Tao Te Ching. In conflict, be fair and generous. You always want to consider the relationship as the number one most important thing, not your ego, not your point, not the fact that you want to feel right, but instead the relationship.

25:57 So put your ego aside and say, look, I was wrong. You know, it was a miscommunication or I shouldn't have been thinking that way. We had an issue recently where I was kind of bagging on one of her friends and I shouldn't have done that. And she got hurt by it. She's like, you know, you have really high standards for yourself and I feel like you put that on other people. And I was like, shit, you're right. And she was right. And I admitted it. And I said, you know what?

26:19 That's something I really need to work on. I should just accept rather than expect, even when it comes to her friends and family, right? Accept the people for who they are because she loves them. And in that communication, she expressed that to me. I said a couple of things offhand that weren't cool and she called me out on it. I was a big enough man to say, you know what? You're right. I need to work on that. I shouldn't hold people to the standards that I hold myself to.

26:43 I should let them be who they are, accept rather than expect. They're their own person. They're living out their own dharma. I'm living out mine. So stop fucking putting your morals and your expectations on them and accept them for who they are, especially when there's somebody who your girlfriend loves. So this communication really is about being the bigger man, admitting when you fucked up. And again, putting the relationship as number one, not your egoic need to be correct. All right, guys, I think that covers it.

27:13 Man, I went 30 minutes on that one. Damn. Anyway, I hope you got some good value out of that. To avoid losing a girl in a relationship when you guys get into one in the future. And I actually have a lot of listeners who are in marriages, who are in relationships. And those are the ones who asked me about this. So there you go, man. That's my opinion on it. If you found value in my podcast and you want to hook me up with the review, just go ahead and email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com.

27:38 And I will send you all that cool shit. Not only those three programs, but I'll usually kick you a few videos as well. And I really want to make it worth your time because I know it's a David Hasselhoff to leave those reviews. I know it's a Hasselhoff to tell your friends about it. And I really appreciate it that you're trying to help me just as much as I'm trying to help you. All right, guys, that's it for me in this episode. I got another one hitting on Friday.

28:02 That's really good. You're really going to want to hear about that one. I'm excited. A coaching client asked me the question. I was like, God damn, that's a great topic for a podcast. So come back, stay tuned, and I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.