10 Tricks to Use all The Methods I Teach in Real Life

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. If you've been listening for a long time, you know what to do, brother. Smack yourself on the ass so hard when the concussion hits, you fly upward through a skylight. For the rest of you guys, first-time listeners, or you just dipping your toe in the pool of my content, welcome.

0:38 My name is Mark Sing. I am your host, and I am also an NLP dating coach. NLP, for the guys who have been listening for a long time, this is like, oh, my hell, this guy has said this 70,000 times. But you gotta let me flex up a little bit, bro. This is how I support my family. So I need to tell people what I do, but I'm gonna make this one real quick. NLP is Neuro Linguistic Programming. What I do is I go into your brain and reprogram those programs inside your head that are like computer programs that are not conducive to attracting women.

1:08 When you were younger, somebody gave you their bullshit programs before you could defend yourself, and now you're working with this outdated and ineffective operating system that is getting you blown out left and right, that when the concussion hits, your pants fly off every time you are rejected. And I've been there many times, and this is why I do what I do, is because I was the worst of the worst. I was so horny, I would have fucked a snake if I could hold it straight, yet I couldn't get laid even if I was in a Tijuana brothel with $100 bills strapped to my penis.

1:39 That's how bad I was, but I was able to reprogram my brain, get confident, get decisive, get extremely unapologetic in myself and believe in myself, be my own hero through NLP. So that's what I use to help my guys out. There's many dating coaches out there, but I believe I'm the only one. I haven't seen anybody else using NLP to help reprogram the brain, and I dare say I'm also fucking very good at delivering content, which I'm going to do today. All right. So you've been listening to my podcast for a while, I'm assuming, and I've given you a lot of information, a lot of a lot of information, and all this information is bouncing around inside your head, and it's a little bit like trying to drink from a fire hose, right?

2:22 Like basically, I'm shooting all this stuff at you. A lot of you guys indulge in episode after episode. I get emails all the time like, yo, Mark, this is the shit. I'm just listening to so much of it, but not only are you only retaining about 30% of the information that you've heard, unless, of course, you listen to episodes again and again, not only are you retaining 30%, but you're also not able to deploy the techniques and the tips and the rules and all the things that I teach in real life.

2:53 You go into what's called screensaver mode. Your brain freezes up. You can't remember what the fuck to do, and afterwards, you're like, oh, I should have said that at this moment, or oh, when she said this, I should have done that. Now, first of all, I want to let you know that that's all part of the process, okay? So we have to understand that at first, it is like trying to drink from a fire hose. There's tons of information to learn. There's tons of nebulous elements to seduction that take some time to master.

3:20 And this is part of the reason that in my coaching program, which is three months long, I have my guys open and eject with 20-plus women a week. Now, open and eject means you just go up, have a simple conversation, and when you're ready, you just leave. You're not trying to get her phone number. You're not trying to get anything from her. And as you get better at that, what happens is this, is when you first start approaching women, you get a lot of adrenaline that's dumped into your brain.

3:47 And adrenaline makes it very difficult to think on your feet. So what we have to do is we have to systematically expose you to more experiences with more women so that you can think on your feet. Now, all the techniques I give you, they're great, right? You've probably written them down. You understand them to a very high level, but putting them into practice is like impossible for a lot of you guys. Why? Because you're not getting out there enough and putting yourself under the social pressure so that you get used to the social pressure and you can deal with it the next time it comes because that's the first step to all this.

4:21 The first step is just simply getting comfortable in uncomfortable situations. I mean, it's like anything else, right? If you're a gunfighter, a law enforcement officer, or in the military, you got to get comfortable being shot at before you can effectively go clear a room, right? So that's what we do with women is we just systematically expose ourselves. So the very first step before we even worry about like all the rules and all that stuff, and this is what I tell my guys, is just start approaching people.

4:48 And you know what? It doesn't have to be a hot girl. It could be somebody who works at Starbucks, works at the supermarket, wherever you happen to go. Just ask them like, hey, where's the bread? Where'd you guys move the watermelons to? What time is it? Where's the freeway? Is that gas pump working? It was broken last week. Hey, man, here's a dollar. I always do that to bums, right? Like, hey, brother, how's your day going? And when I give bums money, I always say, hey, give me some wisdom.

5:10 Give me some wisdom, man. Here's five bucks. What you got? And sometimes, you know, homeless people, they're pretty damn wise sometimes. So that's the philosophy. Strangers are friends I haven't met yet. Everybody is cool when you're cool to them. Shouldn't say everybody. Most people are cool when you're cool to them first. You have good energy. You're a go-giver. They're cool to you. So the first fucking step is to talk to people. Get used to the social pressure, okay? The second step is this, is I'm giving you guys a ton of concepts, okay?

5:39 There's frame control. There's push-pull. There's the 80-100 rule. There's qualifying. There's role-playing. There's hypo stories, cold reading. All this shit, right, that I teach you guys. How to tell stories. How to answer when she asks you what you do for a living, where you live. The three-part answer. The four pillars of attraction. Like, there's all this stuff. And a lot of my guys who come into the coaching program are like, yo, there's so much stuff. And I'm like, listen, that's why it's three months. It's three months because it takes the mind.

6:07 I'm an NLP coach. I understand the mind. About three months to digest and catalog all this information. It's like an old man who just gets a big truckload of books and he's working at the library. He's like, oh, my hell, I got to put all these books in order. I got to catalog them. I got to reference them. Okay, here I go. And he starts getting to work. It takes time. So we first have to be compassionate with ourselves that, first of all, listening to a podcast only ain't going to do shit for you.

6:33 You have to get out there and talk to girls. And that's why in my program, speaking to women, fill in the top of your pipeline with as many women as possible is an integral part of the training. And as we do that, here's what we do. Okay, so let's say you've been listening to the podcast a lot. You use my techniques. You snag a phone number, be it off the dating apps or in person, top of funnel idea, whatever. And you're like, goddamn, I'm going on a first date.

6:58 Let me indulge in Mark Singh's podcast and really learn what I have to do on this first date. Now, fortunately, in my coaching program, I have videos specific to, okay, this is what you're going to do on the first date. But for you guys who aren't going to hire me, which is ridiculous in my opinion and unbelievable, but you're going to do what you're going to do. For you guys I'll never meet, this is what I suggest is you need to just focus on a couple things at a time.

7:22 Okay, so when you're getting good at anything, you focus on one fundamental principle at a time for a long time. So for a couple of weeks, the only thing I'm thinking about is frame control. I don't care if I have the most boring conversations ever. I don't care if I forget to do a cold read. I don't qualify her. I totally forget about the 8100 rule. I don't tell stories. I don't run the cube. I don't do messages in water. I don't do any of Mark's like myriad of gambits.

7:50 All I focus on frame control and my tonality. And that's actually one of the first things I suggest you guys work on is your tonality. Now, when it comes to tonality, and I will do a dedicated podcast to this, I want you to pretend that you're talking to a 12-year-old girl on your soccer team. If you're one of my clients and you're listening, I hope you mouthed along with what I just said because I say it time and time again. A 12-year-old girl on your soccer team.

8:16 And for all you English chaps out there, football team. All right, so this 12-year-old girl, it's no big deal. You're telling her, hey, Kelly, go ahead and grab the soccer balls, bring them over here, grab the rest of the girls, and we're going to do some training. All right, you're not condescending, you're not a dick, but when you speak to a woman like that, it communicates that you have a stronger frame than she does. Now, again, I don't have a lot of time to go deep into this on this episode, but I'm just going to say one thing.

8:41 If your voice is going up at the end, it's bad. If it's going down at the end, it's good. Down at the end communicates authority. Up at the end communicates supplication. Hey, Kelly, how you doing today? All right, that's up at the end. Hey, Kelly, how you doing today? That's down at the end. That's the most attractive thing. Okay, so super basic, right? I want to control my voice. Talk to her like she's a 12-year-old girl. And you guys, I have to say, it's not condescending.

9:09 The content and what you talk about isn't like you're belittling her. It's just your tonality. And that's what I say to you guys in the coaching room to communicate this through your thick gorilla-like knuckle-dragging skulls, boys. You have to talk to her like you're leading the conversation. Okay, so I always say the guy has to be the one in power for the girl to get attracted to him. And the one who is leading is the one who is in power. And by the way, the one who wants less is the one who's in power.

9:39 That's why we have the 8100 rule. But scratch that, scratch that. We don't need to learn the 8100 rule right now. We're just learning how to talk to a girl like we don't fucking care, like we're the leader, we're leading her, and it's no big deal. We're outcome independent. So that's what you're going to focus on for the first, let's say, two weeks. Okay, it's just talk to her like you're not threatened by her. Why is it that I hear you guys talk to girls and suddenly you turn into like a little girl like, hey, how are you today?

10:07 What did you do today? Was it fun? Oh, you go to that gym? Yeah, I do too. High five, right? Yeah, bro, like I literally hear this all the time. It's like why is it when we talk to an attractive woman we turn into a fucking pussy? It's so interesting to watch and I dare say I've done it myself too before I got the shit fixed. So that's like prime objective number one is just talk to her fucking normally the way I'm speaking to you right now.

10:32 Okay, forget about everything else and you're just going to go in and practice that. Okay, now once you get that down, then we're going to throw something else in. Okay, so the next thing I'd probably throw in would be stories, right? You tell some stories to her. You have a funny way to answer her when she asks you what do you do. I talked about this in my three-step process to answer boring questions. I think it was a podcast episode I did maybe a year and a half ago.

10:58 It's been so long that perhaps that warrants another podcast episode to cover again because it's so damn important. But let's say, for example, you get frame control down. Okay, I understand it. I understand my tonality. If she challenges me, I need to do this. I need to do that. If she asks me a request, I need to do this and that and you kind of get it down. Now you focus on the next thing. So essentially what I'm saying here is you take one thing at a time and practice it and drill it and really get it down and you do this for a couple weeks at a time and then the next thing and then the next thing.

11:33 It's a lot like Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, which I know a lot of you guys do and I know some of you are sick of me talking about it, but it's like there's so many parallels and I'm just starting in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. So it's like being a newbie again in the seduction space. It feels exactly the same, which is cool because now I can relate to you better because I'm going through this struggle along with you, not in seduction, but in BJJ. Well, they teach you a myriad of different techniques, right?

11:58 Like how to escape side control, how to do a fucking baseball choke, how to do a Americana, Camara, an Ezekiel choke, how to do a leg lock, an arm bar and all this shit. And it's like the first like six months, you're just inundated with all this information. And the worst thing you can do when you roll, which is to wrestle another person, is to like try to remember all that shit because, and it happens to me all the time, you lock up, you don't know what to do.

12:21 You're like, I know I can do a scissor sweep here, but where do I put my knee on his chest and where does my foot go again and how do I grab his collar? And then by the time you're thinking about it, he submits you. Well, it's the same thing with chicks. You're like in set, she asks you some bitchy question. You know it's a frame check. At least you know that much. And you're like, oh, what was that again? Was it reverse and amplify or reframe?

12:44 And then it's like over, right? And you're walking away and then you listen to my podcast episode and you're like, oh, that's what I should have said. Have you guys ever seen that Seinfeld episode where George Costanza, he gets in an argument with some guy in an office and then he's driving home and he thinks of the perfect thing to say. So he turns around and he goes back and he walks into the office and then he says it and it's like the moment is over.

13:05 So everyone's like, dude, what the fuck are you doing? So funny, that show. So funny. And that show is really good because it's so true about many things in life. The writer, Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld were just geniuses, in my opinion, because they point out these truths about life and how we can laugh at them in a very artistic way. So I think it's a brilliant show. But anyway, it's kind of like that, right? Like you fuck up with a girl and then like an hour later, you're like, oh, that's what I should have said.

13:31 Well, dude, when you have that epiphany, you're going to do it next time successfully. And that's why we need to fail in order to succeed. You know, failure are like wrongs on a ladder that we step on to get us higher and higher and higher. So it's like failure is part of it. I want you guys to go fail and I want you to fail quickly. This is why, again, I have my dudes open 20 girls a week. It's like, get out there, bro. Make some mistakes.

13:55 We're going to fix them along the way. Because once you make the mistake, like me when I was in guard and I tried to do a scissor sweep, but I put my knee in the wrong place and then he passed my guard. For you guys who do BJJ and know what I'm talking about. Well, I'm not going to do that again because he passed my guard. So I'm going to put my knee in a slightly different place so he can't do that. Well, it's the same thing.

14:14 So I don't want you to like try to do everything on the first date or do everything in the first conversation. I want you to do a couple things and now here's another good tip, okay? So you get a couple things down, right? You've repped them, let's say, 100 times over the last two weeks. Like frame control. Okay, dude, I got it. I'm no longer talking to girls like putting, as the 40-year-old virgin movie said, the pussy on a pedestal. I'm now talking to girls like they're my equal or even I'm the soccer coach and they're the little girl on the soccer team and she feels like she's led by me.

14:47 Okay, dude, I got that down. And just with that, boys, you're going to get a lot of results. But now you're like, all right, dude, storytelling. And now you really focus on that and here's what you do. I want you to literally take a piece of paper and write down on it the two or three things or even one or two things that you're going to work on during that date, during that night out, during whatever interactions you happen to be having with women that day and just drill those.

15:14 Okay, if you're doing cold reading, let's say, you're going out tonight and you say to yourself, I'm just practicing cold reading. Okay, I'm going to open like 50 different girls and do a cold read. That's all I'm going to do. Well, if you really do that and you really just focus on that, then what's going to happen is it's going to get entrenched in your brain so that you can use it later down the road. Boom, that's like an arrow in your quiver. Then the next night, you're like, all right, dude, I'm going to do a hypo story with every single girl I talk to.

15:40 So you go and you talk to girls and you kind of push the conversation into a way where you can do a hypo story. You pull it off, botch it a couple times, succeed a couple times, refine it, better it, make it even more calibrated. And then, dude, that's another arrow in your quiver that you can use down the road. So when going out with women, we're focusing on just a few things, the things that resonate most with you. Now, if you're in my coaching program, you get all those things very curated and given to you in a very simple way where you can access it quickly.

16:11 Unfortunately, for those of you who just listen to the podcast and don't want to invest in yourselves, I still give a shit ton of good information. It's honestly not my super premium information, but you guys know, like I give away a lot of really fucking good info. If you want to go through and filter and find all those really good gems, write them down, take notes. And then you have like a notebook full of like, okay, technique one, technique two, technique three. And then you just go through them and drill them.

16:38 And then you come back to them after you've gone through all of them. It's like a circle. You come back to it just like BJJ, right? It's like last week we're going to learn the back escape and then it's going to come again in like six weeks and we're going to try it again. Well, that's what we're doing with women and with the skill set to attract them. So my advice, again, is to focus, first of all, frame control. Another thing I want to say is have a good energy.

17:02 Be feeling slightly better than she is. That doesn't mean that you're spazzier than she is, more energetic than she is. In fact, a lot of times it's the opposite. You're simply feeling better in your heart than she is. Now that begs the question, how do you know how she's feeling? You can tell. As human beings, we can just tell. So you look at a woman and say, ah, she's probably vibrating at like a 60%. So I'm going to crack it up to a 70%. Feel good inside myself.

17:28 But again, not spazzy, boys. Control in the frame. Would you be spazzy if you were like talking to that girl on your soccer team like, hey, little Kelly, can you go eat the balls? And it's like all your Christmases arrive on the same day, which is so common with you guys when you talk to hot girls. It's like the best thing that ever happened to you. Why, bro? Why are you giving them so much credit? Stop doing that. Be chill. But still feel good. Okay? So you're going to focus on feeling good, giving a good energy.

17:55 Women are always trying to get into a better state. And talking to her like she's that 12-year-old girl on your soccer team. Boom. That's it. That's all I'm saying. The rest of the conversation can be boring. You could talk about the weather. You could talk about politics, even though I don't suggest that in attraction-building conversations. You can in this case because we're just getting those reps in. Okay? You do it 60 to 100 times. You're like, all right, dude. I really feel like I got this now. It's second nature.

18:21 That's where we're getting it to. Then you drill another thing. Then you drill another thing. Once you get those arrows in your quiver, you're going to be amazed at how easily and naturally they flow into the conversation. Then when you go like on a date with a girl, you can even write down a couple of things that you want to work on. Okay? I want to work on cold reading. I want to tell this story and that story. I want to qualify her. Okay? Here's the qualifying question I'm going to ask.

18:45 I'm going to ask her, so what's good about you beyond your looks? Or I'm going to ask her, what would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? Boom. You write it down and you put that paper in your back pocket so that when you're on the date or when you're in the nightclubs or when you're cold approaching, you're at the supermarket, you can pull out the paper, look at it right before you approach or right before you go on that date, review what you're going to do, put it back in your pocket, and have it top of mind.

19:09 And then even if you get stifled during the date, you can go into the bathroom, pull out the paper, and look at it and say, oh, yeah, that's right. I'm supposed to do a qualifying question. Okay? I'm going to do that a few minutes after I sit down. Really practice it. And this goes with gambits, too. Gambits are like psychological tests, tricks, cool things that get women really interested in you. A really good one is called the cube, which is one that I teach. I had a client in the coaching program say the other day, he's like, the cube, man, that's like all you need right there.

19:39 That shit's the shit. It's not all you need by any means. His frame has gotten really good, and he's kind of forgotten how important frame is. But it is really powerful. So it's like, okay, I'm going to run the cube. The cube could take 10 to 15, 20 minutes to do. That's 20 minutes of content right there. So, again, we're smart about this, boys. We don't try to remember everything. And this question actually comes from a client of mine because he's like, yo, Mark, I was on a date. And this was his first date after being married for 25 years and recently divorced.

20:08 And he's like, I was thinking of so many things and trying to remember so many things that I fucked up everything. And I was like, yeah, exactly. That's what's going to happen. So that's why we just focus on a few things at a time. And listen, maybe your first interactions when you're only focusing on frame control aren't going to go so great. But that's okay, you guys. It's practice reps. And we have to have an abundance mentality that there's plenty of women to come. There's literally millions of women in your immediate area.

20:34 So don't trip like if you mess up with a girl who's kind of cute. Trust me. There's another cute one coming. And you guys, too, who get stuck on like one single girl because she's so your type, she's just so like perfect for you in your eyes. Believe me, there's more girls like that out there that are your type in a slightly different way or like look exactly like her. Actually, that chick Jess that I interviewed, she's blonde, like super hot, like straight blonde hair, kind of looks like German in her face, like blue eyes.

21:04 That's really my type. She looked exactly like my ex-girlfriend. And when I first saw her, I thought it was my ex-girlfriend. So you think like this one girl, I don't want to fuck it up with, bro, don't worry about it. The fact that you're thinking scarcity thoughts is going to give you scarcity results. So I want you to think abundance thoughts. There's plenty of women. There's plenty of money. There's plenty of air to breathe, plenty of water, plenty of food. Everything's going to be great. There's plenty of money.

21:29 Everything's fine. And just practice. You're in a practice stage. You're like in the matrix, in the dojo, just practicing shit. And that's the way I want you to think about it. All right, gentlemen, that's it for me in this podcast. I want to remind you that I do drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. And also that I do give free breakthrough sessions with me personally, where you and I meet one-on-one as brothers. Talk about your issues with women. See if I can help you get to your goals with women in the quickest, easiest way possible.

21:57 So as you're out there practicing, don't stress it. It's just a game, man. Have fun with it. Practice one thing at a time. Once you get that one thing down, that's another arrow in your quiver. Before you know it, you know, four months, six months goes by. You're like, wow, I have a lot of techniques now. And then the results start coming. So we want to practice. We don't want to expect ourselves to get everything perfect all at once. Just like BJJ. I just practice one thing at a time.

22:22 Okay, I'm really practicing how to hold guard and not let him pass my guard. That's it. That's all I'm doing. Open guard, close guard. I'm focusing on that. I'm not going to try to do a Kimura or a fucking collar choke or anything. I'm just going to try to do defense for the next like two to three, four weeks. Boom, I got that down. It's a real strong part of my game. And then I add to it. See, that's the way to do things smart. So I suggest that for you guys as well.

22:45 All right, gentlemen, thanks again for listening. And I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.