11-11 Special: The Miracle of "BLNCE" With Life & Women

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And today we are going to talk about the all-important concept of balance, how to balance your life so that you get what you want, how to not overwork yourself, how to not indulge in debauchery and become a loser as you go downward through the escalator that's continuously trying to put you downward and you have to work continuously in order to ascend it.

0:44 So sometimes as go-getters, sometimes as unapologetic alpha silverbacks, men who want to better their lives, want to become excellent with women, we get too much into a work mentality. We take stuff way too seriously. We don't have enough play time. We don't have enough revigoration time, which I'm going to talk about today. And we become essentially workaholics and we work ourselves into sickness. We work ourselves into exhaustion. And it's really important that we have balance in not only our work versus play time, but also in some of the concepts that I talk about in this podcast regularly, particularly going back to my 300th episode, what it means to be an unapologetic alpha male.

1:28 So today is 11-11 and I want to wish all you guys a happy Thursday, a happy 11-11 day. 11-11 is for me an extremely fortuitous number. I actually have it tattooed on the inside of my left wrist because I believe when I see 11-11 on the clock, it's spirit talking to me, telling me that I'm on purpose. So I wanted to do a very special podcast today about balance because balance is really a spiritual kind of concept. My mouse pad that's sitting right next to me right now actually has Buddha's face on it and it says balance on it.

2:03 And I always consider balance through my life because like you, I'm a very, very motivated person. I'm extremely goal-oriented. I want to kick ass in this life. I want to get all the chicks I possibly can, the hottest girl I possibly can, and I happen to have her, as well as become a multimillionaire, become extremely successful, have a podcast that's in the top 1%. Right now it's in the top 2% and I want to bring this bastard to that top 1% tier, want to spread this message to as many men as possible.

2:32 And in so doing, I tend to overwork a little bit. I tend to get a little bit hard in the paint, go a little bit crazy. And because of that, I want to balance out not only our tendency, me and you, to go too hard in the paint, but I also want to balance out kind of what I was talking about in that unapologetic podcast I dropped last week. So in that podcast, I talked about how I don't want you to be apologetic for who you are, what your desires are, what you want to do with life, your attraction towards women, your sexuality, or anything like that.

3:04 I want you to be absolutely unapologetic and be secure with who you are and what you want. Now, a caveat to that, and this is where we talk about balance, is of course there needs to be balance where that's concerned. I can see a lot of you guys taking that message incorrectly or the wrong way and saying, well, Mark Singh said to be unapologetic, so I'm just going to go out and abuse women. I'm going to be a rapist. I'm going to take drugs. I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want to do.

3:29 Fuck society. Fuck the police force. Fuck the government. Fuck everybody. Because I'm unapologetic, and if anybody questions it, I'm going to say to them, fuck you, you, I'm doing whatever the fuck I want. All right, so there needs to be balance where that's concerned, and I always live by the following rule, okay? There's that which creates suffering for yourself and for others, and that which creates peace for yourself and for others. As long as you're not creating suffering for others, I believe that you should be unapologetic about who you are and what you want.

4:01 Going back to my example in that episode, I have a buddy who collects die-cast Hot Wheels cars, right? Which a lot of us would think is pretty corny and cheesy, but to him, he makes no apologies for it. He's not hurting anybody doing it. It's his own thing. It brings him a lot of joy. It's not creating suffering for others. So there's that balance there that I talk about. As long as what you do, and by the way, this is the way to define what is quote-unquote right and what is quote-unquote wrong in society, in your life is, is this creating suffering for others?

4:33 If it is, then in my belief, it's wrong. If it's creating peace for both yourself and others, then in my opinion, it's right. And what always creates peace, love, acting from love, acting from that higher purpose of wanting to make other people better from having met you comes from love. That creates peace. So that's the balance right there between this and that other podcast episode where I said, be unapologetic about who you are, do what you want to do. But now I'm balancing that by saying, do it where it doesn't create suffering for others.

5:04 All right. So in this episode, I want to kind of go through the different elements of each of our lives and talk about how we can have balance in each of those elements. But first, I want to introduce this concept of blue, pink, and yellow marbles. Okay. So as men, we are able to identify and stick to a pretty consistent balance when it comes to the masculine versus feminine energy within ourselves. That's going to give us balance in our lives. So this is basically what I coach on in my program to my boys about how to have balance in their life.

5:35 Okay. So about 50% of your life should be what we call blue marbles. Now, blue marbles are your purpose and your purpose often goes into your job. Okay. So for me, my purpose is to coach men to become more successful as men, to become more masculine, to become unapologetic, and I teach them how to get girls. Okay. So that's my purpose. And I spend at least 50% of my time, and this doesn't include sleeping, doing my purpose, doing this podcast, coaching my clients, putting out content, studying. I just got off a call with my coach where we actually talked about this very concept so that I could perfect it and do this podcast better.

6:13 That was an investment in the blue marbles. Okay. So let's say we have a hundred marbles, 50 of those marbles should be blue, and that's on your purpose. Now, some of you may be asking, yeah, but Mark, I work at Walmart stocking groceries. I'm not really on purpose right now. Well, there is a purpose that you have, and one of the parts of that purpose is listening to this podcast right now, trying to better yourself, studying this stuff, becoming better. You don't have to be in your full purpose right now in your job.

6:40 A lot of the time, we have many purposes that work up to our bigger purpose, but as long as you're trying to develop yourself as a man, which you're doing right now as you listen to this podcast, you are on purpose. And right now, the time that you're investing, listening to my words, is in the blue section of those marbles. Okay. So you're studying, you're bettering yourself, you're trying to improve. That's the blue marbles and also your purpose for you men who do have a purpose, such as you dentists out there, you doctors, you're on purpose doing what it is that you're here to do to better the world, actually, when it all comes down to it.

7:14 Okay. So the pink marbles represent 25%. Now the pink marbles are what we call relationships. Okay. And what's interesting is as a dating coach, I get guys into my three month coaching program and I tell them that they need to go into an immersion phase where they master the art of seduction. Well, what's happening is we're ramping up a lot of those pink marbles seemingly, but what's really happening is we're taking the pink section. 25% the pink section and we're actually kind of converging some of our blue section into that because we're on purpose trying to become better with women.

7:50 So while it may seem that we're spending 75% of our time in the relationship model, when we get into this kind of stuff, the truth of the matter is, is that we're actually using blue marbles because our purpose is to become the best version of ourselves. And part of that is getting good with women. So once we master women, if women can be mastered, I feel I'm pretty much a black belt in it. So we could say I have a certain level of mastery with women. I can move back into my other purpose, which is this podcast teaching guys how to do it.

8:21 And I reserve 25% of my life for those relationships with women. I happen to have a girlfriend. I have a daughter. So my family right now is my relationship and that's my pink marbles. I also have a lot of girlfriends that I like to hang out with. I love the feminine. We go out to the bars and the nightclub sometimes. I also do cold approach still because I want to keep my chops up as a dating coach. This all goes into the 25%. Actually, it could be argued that that cold approach goes into the blue marbles.

8:51 Because I'm refining my skills and becoming a better coach. But you kind of see what I mean, right? So 50% blue marbles is your purpose. 25% goes into relationships, hanging out with girls, going on dates, doing pickup, all that kind of stuff. And eventually when you get a girlfriend and a family, that's 25%. Okay, now we have 25% left and that 25% is your yellow marbles. Yellow marbles is you time. It's recuperation, revigoration, rejuvenation. If you look at the word rejuvenate, juvenate comes from the word juvenile. Juvenile means being childlike.

9:30 And this is why I say in my coaching, every day you want to do something childlike, you want to have fun, and you want to rejuvenate your soul, which means taking time off from work, going on vacations, doing fun, silly things, hobbies, like my buddy who collects those die-cast Hot Wheels cars. When he goes out searching for those, that's rejuvenation time. And we should take 25% to do that. So broken down, you got 50% into work, which includes your business, your job, studying, even working out, making sure your diet is pinned.

10:02 25% into relationships, getting girls, having sex, being in a relationship. Once you get a family, it includes your kids and includes like anything relationship-wise. And then 25% is like man cave time, time for you to rejuvenate yourself, do your hobbies. This could also be time with your friends, playing video games, watching TV, whatever you want to do that day, that week, that month, and that year to rejuvenate yourself, that goes into the 25% yellow marbles. Now, a lot of you may be curious, well, Mark, how many hours per day do you rejuvenate, revigorate yourself?

10:38 It's about two hours per day. Okay, so I spend two hours per day, you know, whatever, watching TV, surfing Facebook, surfing Instagram, having a good time. For me, I also like to read and I like to study. And while that may seemingly go into the blue marbles, which is kind of true, it is a blue marble thing. For me, it's really revigorating. So I count that as yellow marble time. So about two hours per day to mess around, screw around, eight to 10 hours per day with working and a couple hours per day with my woman and my kid equals what I just explained.

11:09 Okay, so that's balance. Okay, so now let's talk about balance when it comes to your health. Okay, so when it comes to working out, exercising, it's really important to take time off so your body can rejuvenate itself. So what do most workouts look like? Well, most workouts look like, I don't know, about five times a week, an hour to an hour and a half in the gym, and then a couple days off. For every person, it's a little bit different. I personally like to work out less time, but more days.

11:37 So I'll work out six days per week, about 40 minutes, and then the rest of the time is rejuvenation. When it comes to your diet, what I do is I maintain a pin diet throughout the whole week, and I give myself one big cheat meal per week, usually landing on Friday or Saturday. So usually I like to go to like Burger King. Lately, I've been going to this place called Chiba Hut. It's like this like marijuana smoking based restaurant where they have just really good food. It's called Toasted Subs.

12:03 Man, I've been going there a lot. I really like it. I'll get myself a Diet Coke, but for the vast majority of the week, I'm running a tight battleship. I'm keeping my shit on point. When it comes to relationships, like I said, if you spend too much time with the woman, if you're more in the pink marbles than you are in your blue marbles, you are going to go into your feminine energy, and she is going to probably lose respect for you, lose attraction for you, lose sexual desire for you.

12:29 This is why a lot of guys lose their women, and this is why I have the 80-100 rule. Because for women, it's actually reversed. 50% of their time should be about relationships, bonding, things like that. 25% should be about their purpose, and then 25% should be recuperation. So women should naturally want more than we do when it comes to hanging out, when it comes to pair bonding, and that's why I have the 80-100 rule. You need to keep yourself back from hanging out with the woman too much because if you screw up that balance, then she's going to lose attraction for you, and you're going to be emasculated.

13:02 So when it comes to women, what I typically do is just a couple times a week, like if I was dating a girl, I'd see her like maybe two to three times per week, two to four hours per go unless she's sleeping over, but that's about the average that I would typically do. So we need to have balance too when it comes to women, when it comes to sex, when it comes to masturbation. This is why I suggest a couple people ask me like, do you do nofap?

13:25 And I don't. Nofap means you don't masturbate at all. Why? Because there's no balance there. Balance means you do it sometimes, but you don't do it all the time. So I suggest for most people, and it totally depends on you. I'm not telling you what to do, but like once a week is probably about right when it comes to masturbating. You can enjoy it. You can indulge in it. And you know what? If you want, you can watch porn unless you have an addiction to it.

13:49 If you have an addiction, you should certainly avoid it, but it's okay to indulge in that and get into that rejuvenation state where you're being juvenile and just enjoying it. But when it becomes dysfunctional is where the problem is. So when it comes to masturbation, yeah, do it, but do it in balance. It's all about balance, boys. When you have balance in your life, you know when to take vacations. You know when to take rest days from working out. You know when you can eat some shitty food, but you don't go down this spiral of debauchery and just indulge in it as so many people do.

14:19 It seems like a lot of people are either on one extreme or the other. They're either indulging too much in bad food, too much porn, too much masturbation, too much transient self-gratification, and they're not doing enough discipline. And then you have people who are like fucking military officers who never let themselves have a day off, never eat some bad food, never have any balance in their life. So let's do that balance. And those marbles are a great way to kind of test yourself and see, okay, in every avenue in my life, where am I landing?

14:48 With women, where am I landing? With my diet, where am I landing? With my work, where am I landing? Even my hobbies, where am I landing? And you want to see where each one goes. Again, 50% blue marbles, 25% pink, 25% yellow. Blue represents your purpose, work, working out, being disciplined. Pink, which is 25%, represents relationships. And then yellow, 25% represents cave time, rejuvenation, revigoration. Okay, so you ask yourself, where am I with all these different things? Sleep is another good example. Are you balanced with your sleep? Are you getting enough sleep?

15:22 Or are you sacrificing sleep in order to get more into your blue marbles and you're just go, go, go, go, go, and you're not letting yourself rejuvenate? I'll tell you, when you give yourself a little bit of time off, when you allow yourself that eight hours of sleep, I believe eight hours is the perfect place, at least for me. Man, I have so much testosterone. I have so much more motivation. And it's that relaxation time that allows me to kick ass when it's time to sit down and do this podcast.

15:48 I slept eight hours last night. Consequently, this podcast is going really well. My thoughts are coming easily. Had I not got that eight hours, had I not had balance between rest and work, I wouldn't be good at the work part. So rest is the time that the sword is sharpened. Rest is the time that it's rejuvenated. It's oiled, that you repair yourself, your muscles, your brain, your stress goes down, your cortisol levels decrease. This is really, really important. Now, when it comes to vacation time, this is the way I handle it.

16:19 My girlfriend Marissa and I, we go on one big trip every three months. We go on one date night every month, which means that we go out, we get a really nice dinner, five-star restaurant. We stay in a really nice hotel that happens once a month. We have one family day a month. And then I make sure to take about a trip per month for myself to do my own things, which is like the rejuvenation time. That's like hunting, doing my hobbies, hanging out with my boys, flying to maybe Las Vegas to hang out with my friends and go out and open girls, whatever it is that I feel like doing.

16:51 This is how I get balanced. And I think it's really important that as you continue to live life, you're not just renunciating all those desires and all those things you want to do because you're trying to save for your retirement. And you're thinking about living when you're finally 55 or 65 years old. It's important to have balance where you allow yourself to have those trips, allow yourself to experience a nice massage, go out to a nice restaurant, stay in a really nice hotel with your woman so that you can feel abundance now.

17:18 And shit, what happened if you died tomorrow? What would happen then? And all you're doing is working. All you're doing is fucking putting your nose to the grindstone and trying to get shit done. And you die. You're like, fuck, that was a waste of time. I didn't even get to enjoy the fruits of my labor. And that comes to money, too. One of my favorite books when it comes to finances is called Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harf Eker. What he talks about is the jar system where you divide your monthly revenue into different jars.

17:46 10% goes to the play jar, which basically means you spend it on those things that make you feel good. Massages, nice dinners, nice hotels, maybe a gift for yourself like in a really sick mountain bike if you can afford it that month or you save a few months to get that. These things let you feel the opulence, let you feel the abundance now so that you can attract more of it to yourself, but also just in case you die tomorrow, you're actually enjoying your life now. And that's 10% of your monthly income is just blown every month.

18:16 But then again, 10% is saved. So you have so many people that are like misers. They're frugal. They never spend any money because they're saving, saving, saving for their retirement. And then you have people, a lot of you guys listening, who blow all their money and never save any of it. Why can't we have balance? You save 10%, you blow 10%, you put 5% to charities. And then the rest of it you use to live on. Or those ratios may be different depending on how much your monthly income is.

18:42 And it varies month to month. But that's the basic principle is you have balance there. You save and you blow your money. You're frugal and you're frivolous. And I'll tell you, those people who are completely frivolous with their money, they have a scarcity mindset. And that's why they keep trying to get themselves back to zero because they don't think they should have any money in the bank because they don't feel worth it. And it all comes down to belief systems. Now, my final point on this is balance in thought, balance in attitudes, balance in belief systems.

19:11 So many people, and you see it, it's really prevalent right now in our society, are like super right-winged or super left-winged. Super pro-vaccine, super anti-vaccine. Pro-mask, anti-mask. Pro-abortion, pro-life. It's always these big dichotomies where there's no fucking balance in people's thinking. I released a podcast probably about a year ago called Duality of Thought, which talks about how you can have two opposing belief systems in your head at the same time and allow both of them to exist without having to latch onto one or the other.

19:45 I got into this conversation the other day with a guy who was totally an anti-vaxxer, didn't want to wear masks. And as I was listening to him, some of the things I agreed with, some of the things I didn't agree with, but I could take his opinion and actually see where he's coming from. Because in a way, he's right about a lot of different things. But then in another way, he's also wrong. And when you have this ability to take both sides of an argument, you become extremely effective, not only with life, but also with women.

20:12 Because the man who can flow and go with things and see both sides of the argument isn't entrenched in his opinion, isn't stubborn, stalwart, so locked in his own belief systems, is actually the one who can control the frame. Because if you can flow with it and not resist people's opinions, but actually see what they're talking about, you can lead them better. When you try to be stubborn and entrenched in a position that is not frame control. And this is the hardest thing to understand about frame control.

20:40 You think it's leading the conversation, being the leader, being the dude who is in control. But really, control is a weakness word, isn't it? The person who's the most in control is the one who can adapt to other people's opinions, have balance in his life, have duality of thought, and go with the flow, and lead almost as if he's walking behind people. And in the Tao Te Ching, it says, the greatest leader is the one who follows. So wrap your mind around that for the next 35 minutes, my dude, because that is a deep ass concept, but it comes into this balance, having balance of thought, not being so married to your positions.

21:15 If you're one of these dudes that's like super right or left wing, I urge you, man, look at the other side and say to yourself, you know what? They're right too, because they are. Both sides are right. Both sides have points. And if we come together and have balance in our conversations, then we can actually move forward as a country and as a society. So in your life, I want you to consider this blue, pink, yellow, marble theory. I want you to consider the concept of balance when it comes to your work and your vacations.

21:42 Consider the concept of balance when it comes to investing money and blowing money. And also balance when it comes to your own thinking. Don't get married to a single position, because like a tree who refuses to bend, you're going to crack when a strong wind comes and you're going to be easily broken. Whereas the tree that can bend with the wind, like the palm trees in the Hawaiian Islands, survive, because they just flow with things. It's like Aikido, the martial art from Japan, completely fucking useless in a street fight, but it's a good concept.

22:10 You use the other person's energy to overcome them. And that's what we do as strong, unapologetic alpha males who have balance in their life. So I hope you guys got some good value from this podcast. Once again, 11-11 is an extremely special day. And listen, if you see that 11-11 on the clock, I'm telling you, man, that spirit talking to you, saying that you are on purpose, you are doing the right thing. And one of the right things you're doing is listening to this podcast, because I'm always trying to better you guys, always trying to make you develop into the best versions you can be.

22:40 But at the same time, lighten the fuck up. Have fun with this. Enjoy your life. Don't forget to smell the flowers by the wayside. Because, bro, you could get hit by a bus and launched into outer space tomorrow morning and it would all be over. So don't forget to enjoy it. Have the balance. Have some debauchery in your life. But at the same time, be fucking disciplined most of the time. And only let indulgence sneak through the wire on the small occasion pertaining to the 50-25-25 blue-pink-yellow marbles rule.

23:10 When you live that way, your life will expand in ways you never thought possible. All right, gentlemen, I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays. Listen, if you found value in this episode, the best thing you can do for me, the best way you can reciprocate my kindness for trying to give you guys the best information possible is by leaving me a review, preferably and obviously a five-star review with some writing behind it. The reviews lately have been absolutely phenomenal. We are beating the haters that inevitably come out of the woodwork when your podcast grows as big as this one is growing.

23:40 And you guys are really helping me to keep that 4.8 out of 5. And I really, really appreciate it. So if you do leave me a review, email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com and I will send you a bunch of cool shit, Conversation Sniper, Guide to the Female Orgasm and three texts to build massive attraction in women. Impress your friends, baffle your enemies. All right, gentlemen, thanks again for listening and I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.