Why 20% of Men Get 80% of Women - Female Hypergamy & Alpha Males

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me. Today, we are going to talk about why 20% of the men get 80% of the women. We're also going to talk about what kind of guy a woman is attracted to, what kind of guy a woman wants to just have sex with, and what kind of guy a woman wants to settle down with, and how to be the most attractive man possible so that she kind of wants both of those things from you, which I'm going to get into and explain how that is and why that is and how to become that guy.

0:49 First, let's get into this thing called female hypergamy. Have you guys ever heard of this? Female hypergamy. I forget who the dude was who coined this term, but it's used a lot by people in the community who are a little bit bitter towards women. What it talks about is how females are always trying to look for the upgrade, how they're always trying to date up and get the best man possible for them. So essentially, if you're with a woman and you show some beta cuck tendencies, if you show some weak frame, if you show some lack of ambition, lack of confidence, being too thirsty, chasing her too much, etc., she's going to leave you for another guy who is more attractive.

1:26 Now, the reason this causes a lot of bitterness in the community is because guys get left a lot by women who date other dudes, and it always seems like there's just a couple of dudes in your social group or a couple dudes in the nightclub you go to or a couple guys who you often see out in society who seem to get all the girls. And yeah, man, that's basically true. Through my experience, I've seen that it's usually just a handful of guys that usually all the girls are attracted to and all the girls are throwing themselves at.

1:55 Well, let's look at this from a purely DNA genetic kind of perspective, right? I mean, it only makes sense that girls are going to go after the most attractive male in order to get the best genes possible to pass on to their kids. This is the way it works with the animals too, right? Like I'm really into elk hunting. I live in Colorado, so I study a lot about elk. Well, it's always the few elk that get the entire harem, and all the girls hang out with this one dude because he has the biggest antlers.

2:22 He's the biggest dude. He's the toughest dude. He's the most sexually mature dude. So all the women want to get his genes. And all the other betas, the males that are not as alpha as he is, they hardly ever get laid. They do from time to time, as do 80% of men who don't get women, but it's not very often. It's like once every couple years for most guys, especially the guys that I talk to. So when it comes to men being bitter at women about this, and there is a lot of bitterness towards women for dating up, for having what's called hypergamy, which again is basically going for the next best thing and only dating guys who have those alpha traits.

2:58 I don't really understand why dudes are bitter about this because it only makes sense, and I'm going to tell you, you can become that 20%. That's the beautiful thing about it. I myself was, along with a lot of you guys, in that 80% tile where I hardly ever got girls, and I was able to become into the 20%. So why people get bitter about this, I understand, because they're butthurt, that they're not getting any sex, and they think women are evil, out to get them, are only selfish. And yeah, they are selfish, and you're selfish too, bro.

3:28 Like if you look at yourself, you want to date up, don't you? If you get with the seven, you know you have a wandering eye and you want to get a hotter girl. So it's not only women that do this, it's guys that do this too, and it's because we want the best mate, which from a DNA, lizard brain perspective, we can pass on the best genes to, to our children. For us, it's all about health signs, like how healthy is her hair, her skin, her waist to breast ratio, how hot she is basically is health signs that show us that she can have a healthy baby.

3:58 We also look for things like a good personality, being sociable, a girl we can introduce to our parents, and also things like sexiness, femininity, and all those things tie into our attraction to a woman because it's all health signs. How healthy of a baby can she have? Well, hypergamy is the same thing. She's looking for health signs in a dude. Not only health signs, but also social strength. The leader of men, guys who can control the frame, guys who can lead her to where she wants to be led, ambition, confidence, all the things I talk about in this podcast, which makes you more attractive.

4:31 So yeah, if you're a beta cuck and you're with a chick and she meets an alpha male, she's going to leave you for him. It's the way it will always work, so don't get bitter about it. Instead of being bitter about how life works, figure out how to win the game. And like I said, the beautiful thing about this game is you can learn to win it. It doesn't matter how much money you have. I'm actually going to talk about that in a second. It doesn't matter what you look like or how many failures you had in the past.

4:54 You can get this part of your life fixed and become extremely attractive to women and join me in that 20%. Because I'll tell you, when you're there and there's tons of chicks throwing themselves at you, it's fucking awesome, bro. I'm not going to lie. It's like the best shit ever. And I want to get you there. And that's the cool thing. You can get there. I don't care where you're starting. You can get there. It's going to take some work. I'm not going to lie. And honestly, a lot of you guys don't have the intestinal fortitude to be able to do the work to get yourselves there.

5:20 But for every single one of you guys listening, I don't care how bad your situation is. You can get there. Okay. So she's trying to date up and she's looking for the best possible guy. Now let's talk about that money thing. Okay. So you're probably like, wait, wait, wait. Money doesn't matter. No, it does not matter. I hear this all the time for my clients. Like, I don't have enough money. I live in my parents' basement. I'm a fucking loser. I work at Arby's. The only kinds of girls I can get are fucking boneyard girls and girls that look like trailer swift.

5:48 I'm telling you, brother, that is not true. Money does not fucking matter. It really doesn't matter. In fact, and this goes to my point about hypergamy. Women, when they see that you have money, will oftentimes not give you their sex, at least not initially because they see you as a provider. Okay. So going back to the hypergamy thing, right? We've all heard it where women will like marry the beta cuck. Who's like the provider guy, the guy with money, and they'll go have sex with the dude who has no job.

6:18 It was like captain of the football team is really, really fucking alpha and like cheat on her husband to get those jeans, right? To get the high alpha jeans to pass on to her son. And then like her son comes out as like a black dude. And the husband's white and he's like, what the fuck happened? And like the husband, dude, this is literally happened. I've seen this where the husband just ignores it. And he stays with the woman because he knows like something happened. Like the baby looks nothing like him.

6:43 And yeah, in the case that I know about, the baby was like actually half black, half white. And it was a white dude. And he just accepted it because he was so fucking beta. He didn't want to lose the woman that he stuck with her. And she went and had sex with the alpha male, got his jeans, married this beta cuck. And then they raised the baby together. How fucked up is that, dude? But that shit happens. And that ties into the hypergamy, quote unquote, that men get bitter about.

7:08 But honestly, it's his fault. Like the husband, it's his fucking fault that he's so beta that she had to go cheat on him with another alpha dude because she wasn't attracted to him in his way. It's always your fault. You got to take responsibility for this shit. So if a woman's left you, if she's divorced you, if you get left by chicks, friend zoned by chicks, it's your fault, bro. And you can learn this stuff. The second you take responsibility for it, as I talked about in a recent episode, the quicker you get the power to overcome it.

7:36 So when it comes to a woman's sexuality, like when she just wants to have a one night stand or have sex with the dude super quickly, she's purely looking for those alpha type symbols. Those things like confidence, ambition, not giving a shit what she thinks, leading the frame, and yeah, kind of being disagreeable a little bit and maybe even an asshole a little bit. I'm going to do a podcast episode about that in the future, but it's kind of like cocky funny. I don't care what you think.

8:01 I'm going to break rapport with you. Another episode I'm going to do coming up, by the way. I don't give a shit what happens. These are the kinds of guys that women will have sex with super quickly because it's like that fuck boy, alpha, Chad kind of status. Now, the provider dude, oftentimes the dude with money won't get sex quickly, especially if he shows off his money too quickly. So a lot of you guys are like, yo, I don't make enough money to get chicks. I'm telling you, sometimes money can work against you.

8:28 I have many millionaire friends as well as successful clients who, once the woman sees that he has money, she makes him wait for the sex. Why? Because she sees him as a possible provider for her family, so she doesn't want to ruin it by giving up the sex too quickly. And honestly, the sex is kind of like her biggest power play. It's like her trump card. So she'll make him wait for it and like nickel and dime him the whole time. She's going to test his frame.

8:53 And if he crumbles under her frame, he's going to start doing her favors. He's going to start being thirsty, supplicating to her. Now she's got him wrapped around her finger, but she doesn't respect him. She'll marry him. Sometimes isn't true for all girls. And I'm going to tell you the kind of guy that women really want. But sometimes when she feels like her biological clock is ticking, she probably can't get a better dude than him. She will marry that guy and like resent him the whole time.

9:19 And this is where friction comes in marriages. So we have like the fuck boy guy, right? Like the Dan Bilzerian, I dare say myself was like that for a while where we're super attractive up front, but we're not really like the guy who a girl would want to settle down with. I've had so many girls tell me, I love the idea of you. You're super exciting. I love spending time with you. The sex is amazing. I'm super attracted to you, but I can't see myself spending any time with you.

9:46 I can't see you as like being the father to my child. I heard that a lot, especially about like five, 10 years ago when I was really just a fuck boy going out, being super attractive, having hot chicks with me, being the dude, the man, the guy that gets more ass than the toilet seat and women are attracted to that. Cause again, 80% of the women are attracted to 20% of the guys. Cause only 20% of the guys have those attributes. So they get all the chicks as I did.

10:11 And you can too, you can join me in that state if you really, really want to, and you're rolling to do the work, but I was getting like all the girls, but they didn't want to like settle down with me, which frankly, at the time I was okay with, but then I realized you got to become both. You got to become the alpha fuck boy, Chad fucking champion, kind of like the bad-ass, a little bit of the jerk, cocky, funny, not caring what the fuck happens.

10:35 But then when she gets to know you, she sees that you are an ambitious guy who can earn, who can take care of her. You have honor. You have respect. You actually do what you're saying you're going to do. So when we combine those two attributes, that's like the perfect man in the eyes of a woman. And once I kind of put that together that, okay, I'm really good at the upfront game and the upfront gains like the alpha game, but I'm also good at the long-term game.

11:00 I know how to build trust and connection. I'm really good at building rapport. I can listen to her, care about her, eat her pussy like nobody's business, and then she can imagine having a child with me. Dude, once I got those two things together, women would fall in love with me time after time. And I'd get a lot of women to fall in love with me when I was just the fuck boy, but it's like they hated me at the same time. And I've literally heard on multiple occasions, probably a dozen or more occasions, I'm in love with you, Mark, but I fucking hate you.

11:29 This isn't the best thing to hear from a woman, okay? It kind of like makes you feel good when you're a douchebag the way I was, certainly, but it's like not the best thing because it's like, yeah, you're super attractive, but you're an asshole, dude, and I don't want to spend time with you. I'm going to go get a beta cuck and maybe I'll have sex with you to get your genes, and then I'll make the other dude raise the child. But I ascended to the point where I can leverage this thing called female hypergamy because I'm still in that 20% of alpha males, and then when they really get to know me and see who I am, how genuine I am, how ambitious I am, confident, somebody who speaks well, who she can introduce to her parents, somebody who wants to retire early and have an amazing life, these chicks just want to fucking marry you when you become that dude.

12:14 And it got to the point where when I got those both things together, the alpha male mixed with the provider, or as I often like to say, the exciter mixed with the provider. Ah, see how that rhymes? Pretty badass, right? The exciter mixed with the provider. That's when chicks would just lose their shoe to marble, fucking fall in love, talk about marriage super fast. Like, bro, I've seen some shit that will blow your mind. That will happen to you too when you get this together. Okay, so we understand female hypergamy.

12:42 And first and foremost, we forgive women because you would do it too, and you do do it too. In fact, there's male hypergamy where males just want the hottest chick, the highest quality chick they could get. So let's like not lie to ourselves and have some double standard where we can try to get the hottest chicks we can. We can upgrade. We can next chicks one after the other. But if they do it, oh, they're fucking assholes because she left me for another guy. Bro, that was your fault if she left you for another guy.

13:08 Admit that. Take responsibility for it. Be a fucking man and take the responsibility for what happened. And then in the future, when you know that may happen, you just need to up your game. You need to work on your shit. You need to fix your belief systems, your attitudes. You need to learn frame control and all the rules of seduction that I teach so that when you meet that chick and you start dating her, she's not going to leave you for a dude who's quote unquote better.

13:31 So we understand this female hypergamy thing and we want to become that 20%. How do you become the 20%? That's all I talk about in this podcast and it's what I do in my coaching program. If you were to join my coaching program, every single guy who joins and who does the fucking work, who sticks to the exact protocol that I give him becomes that dude. And suddenly they have more chicks in their life than they know what to do with. And then they understand, okay, I also need to refine and perfect those parts of my personality that make me also look like the provider if I want to keep this chick.

14:05 But again, like when you have money, right? When you have a lot of resources and you're beta, like you don't have the confidence to go along with it. That's the worst thing you could have because girls are going to put you in that beta provider category and they're just going to make you wait for sex. They're going to fucking treat you like shit. They're going to ask you for favors. These are the kinds of girls that make you buy them stuff. And a lot of guys do that.

14:26 They spend all their money on these chicks and they're like, why is it that I'm spending all my money on this girl? And freaking Brian over there just banged her the first night he met her and he lives in his mom's basement. It's because Brian is the alpha and you perhaps, some of you guys aren't, but we're just using an example. You perhaps are that beta provider with money. So for you guys who have money, here's my advice. When you first start dating a woman, don't show her your money.

14:51 Make sure that she likes you for you first, that she's not a gold digger. And also that you're not thirsty in a way where you're trying to flaunt your money to get her to like you more and to prevent possible chicks from seeing you as that beta provider and making you wait for sex, trying to get you wrapped around their finger so they can do with you what they please. These kinds of things happen all the time to guys who are really successful. First and foremost, you have to be that 20%.

15:17 You have to have initial game. And this goes, even if you're 75 all the way down to 18 years old, this works for everybody. You have to have that initial game and be slightly out of her grasp, extremely attractive. Once she's attracted enough to you and you guys start hooking up, you guys start dating more, then you can start revealing some more of that rapport building kind of stuff. And this is something I'm going to get into in an upcoming episode about why you should break rapport with girls and how guys usually do what I call platonic vibing too soon, which puts them in that beta category.

15:50 So what we do is we get really good at game up front. Okay. We don't give them too much. In my opinion, on the first date, I only spend 10 to 20 bucks. Yeah. If I have a nice car, I'm going to pick her up in it. I'm not going to like rent a Hyundai in order to hide the fact that I have a Porsche, but I want to let her know up front, like, yo, you're not getting my resources until you and I get to know each other.

16:13 And frankly, until you pass the application, you never say this, but it's sub communicated sub meaning the communication underneath the communication. When you take her to a 10 to $20 date, you're not trying very hard. You're not chasing her. She knows you're alpha. And so she's going to get attracted to you first on that lust level, right? Want to have sex with you. Want to be with you. You're that sanctuary for her that I always talk about. Then as you let her get to know you more, you let her see some of your resources, but you don't try to throw it at her and buy her affection.

16:47 You don't try to prove to her anything. In fact, you sometimes will break rapport with her in a way that shows, yo, I don't give a shit what you think about me. I don't care what happens with this. Honestly, and again, guys, sub communicated. Honestly, there's four other chicks waiting. So if it blows out with you, I don't give a shit. Then she gets super attracted to you. We'll have sex with you faster. And then also stay with you and fall in love with you when you show her that you're the guy with both the attributes, both super sexy up front, super alpha, super cocky, funny, not giving a shit control in the frame, but also able to provide for her and her children should she want to stay with you.

17:26 When she sees that you have those two things that are so rare, boys. Okay. I say 20% of dudes get 80% of the women. That's true. In my experience, could be like 30%, whatever. Let's go with 20%. Okay. 20% of the guys get 80% of the women, but dude, only like 1% of those or 0.001% of those guys have the whole package. Okay. So women will fuck this 20% dude, 80% of the girls will fuck them, but they'll hate them. Just like I have been hated. Just like I've been called every single name in the book until I figured this out.

18:00 Once you get that second element, the quote unquote provider element that you throw into there, this is where they fall in love with you. And this is how to keep a woman interested. I'll tell you this boys. And it's the same with you guys. So don't think I'm being male hypergamous or misogynistic. The truth of the matter is this. A woman will only stay with you. If she's in love with you, a woman will only stay with you if she's in love with you. And when I say stay with you, I mean, emotionally stay with you because a woman can stay with you, but go sleep with other dudes, which as we spoke about in this episode happens all the time and guys sleep with other girls too.

18:36 For other reasons, a woman will stay with you quote unquote on paper, but stay with you as far as being loyal to you, loving you only having eyes for you. That shit only happens when she's in love. How do you make her fall in love? By being both these things. You can make a woman fall in love with you by being just the alpha dude. It happens all the time, especially as you start to like push women away. They fall in love a lot, but they hate you at the same time.

19:02 And that goes back to what I said. Like, I'm in love with you, Mark, but I fucking hate your guts. You don't want to hear that. That doesn't feel good. You want like, I'm so in love with you. You're the best man ever. I want to marry you. That's what we want to hear. Right. And that's what you get when you become both the exciter and the provider. So when it comes to female hypergamy, yeah, it exists. And frankly, I think it's awesome because once you become that 20% dude, you get all the girls who wouldn't want that.

19:28 And most dudes don't know this. I tell guys all the time. I do like other hobbies that have nothing to do with seduction, right? I tell guys, yo, I'm a dating coach. They're like, what? I didn't even know that existed. I'm like, yeah. Have you ever heard of any of this stuff? Frame control, qualifying, push, pull, cold reading. You ever hear this stuff? They're like, no. What is that? You guys, most people don't know about this. So already just by listening to this podcast, just by going to maybe Tripp's podcast, the How to Talk to Girls podcast and learning this stuff, you are getting a leg up on 99% of other dudes.

20:00 Then you become the dude who understands how to be both the exciter and the provider. Then you get girls to massively fall in love with you. And I'm telling you, dudes like this are so unbelievably rare. It's either they're total beta cucks who give the woman their balls in a little knapsack, give her all the power because they think that's going to be the best thing. Or they're assholes who sleep with tons of chicks and never settle down with any girls. And for many of them, they mistreat women.

20:26 So when you can become the dude that's both exciting as well as respectful, lead her, but can also listen to her. Be the dude that she wants to fuck so bad her panties are wet when she just looks at you the way I am with my girlfriend, Marissa, but also want to have a kid with you and spend the rest of your life with you and talk about marriage and shit. Bro, like this is really, really, really rare for women to find. And then sometimes I feel sorry for women.

20:49 Like I have a lot of girlfriends who are really struggling to meet a dude. And they ask me all the time, how do I find a dude? Like, where do these guys hang out? And unfortunately, I don't really have an answer for them because it's so unbelievably rare. I mean, I should have a dating service where guys who graduate from my program are introduced to like all my hot friends because that's the kind of dude that women want. But unfortunately, only a very small percentage of guys will ever hear this podcast.

21:14 And then an even smaller percentage of guys will actually work with me. So you guys who have been through the program or who are in the program right now, my Lord, you have a leg up on most other dudes. You definitely have the advantage and that right there should give you confidence. And even you guys who are serial listeners to this podcast who won't invest in yourself and come join me in my coaching program, I disagree with it, but you're going to do what you're going to do.

21:37 Even you guys have a leg up on most other dudes. So stop being so insecure, start being confident, knowing that you can be both the exciter and the provider when you train up, when you put yourself out there, when you're willing to go into the pain and hassle of learning this shit to become the most attractive man you possibly can be. It's absolutely worth it, man. I mean, do you want to get to the end of your life and be on your deathbed looking back and saying, man, I really wish I had the courage to have invested in myself.

22:04 But for some reason, I just talked myself out of it. I made excuses. I procrastinated. I was afraid of going into a little bit of discomfort. So here I am, 89 years old, about to die, looking at my wife that I never loved to begin with, who I just settled down with because she picked me and I'm dying with regrets. Fuck that, brother. Fuck that. I refuse to let that happen. And what happened to me, man? I mastered the shit and now I have the woman in my dreams.

22:29 And we are deeply in love. And like I talked about, she loves having sex with me, dude, because I can be both the exciter and the provider and she wants to spend the rest of her life with me because I'm the father of her child. She knows that I'm alpha. I'm successful. I'm the dude she wants to be with. It feels good to be that dude because I've been the other dude too many times. Too many times I've been that beta cook who's been friend zoned, who's been used, who's been fill in the fucking blank.

22:56 I've been there with you. So I've seen both sides of it. I know the work it takes to get to this side of it. And I'm telling you, it's worth it. It's worth it every single day of the week and twice on Sunday. Just take my word for it. Stop procrastinating because of fear. It just, ah, just pathetic, man. I hate to say it, bro. I hate to call you out like this, but it's pathetic. You guys are procrastinating from putting yourself out there because of fear.

23:20 You have what it takes inside of you to get over that fear. You're just refusing to do it because you're making it into way bigger than a demon than it actually is. When you start putting yourself out there and realizing how easy it is to get good with women, when you just have a little bit of balls, it blows your mind and it will change your fucking life. So listen, even if you don't hire me, again, I don't understand why you wouldn't, but even if you don't, I don't care, bro.

23:44 Like just put yourself out there, learn this shit, listen to my podcast and challenge yourself. And you may get to the point where you're that 20% dude. And when you get choice, that's where happiness is when it comes to dating and women. I don't know about you guys, but I would rather choose than be chosen. And if you want to join me and get the power to choose, go to my website, coachmarkzing.com. Click on coaching, read the 500 million, 600,344 million testimonials that are on that page. Sign up with me for a free one-on-one breakthrough session where you and I get on the phone and talk about your issues.

24:18 And I tell you how long I think it would take you to get success with women in my program. If you sign up there, I definitely like to meet you and we can get you to the point where when you die, you nod your head with pride and you say, yeah, man, I did whatever the fuck it took to become an alpha male and unapologetic man. The best version of myself I could be. And for that, I'm proud. All right, gentlemen, I dropped podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays.

24:42 If you found value in this, I'd very much appreciate a five-star review with some writing behind it. Tell the other listeners what you enjoyed about it. I know most people look at podcast reviews before they listen to them. So you're helping me in that way would be greatly, greatly appreciated. All right, gentlemen, I got another awesome one dropping on Thursday. So make sure to stay tuned for that one. And I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.