11 Subtle Signs You're Becoming an Alpha Male

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP Happy Monday. I hope this weekend treated you well. I know it certainly did for me. And guys, I've been advertising a lot lately, man. And it's funny to me when I read other people's reviews, there's like people hating on them because they advertise their services. And I'm like, yo, this guy's giving you so much freaking information.

0:37 And all he's doing is telling you about his services, which is the way he makes money. And you're getting all butthurt about it. And fortunately, I've never once had anybody say that I do it too often. But I try not to do it too much because I know it could get a little bit old. So on that note, we are going to skip all the blatant advertising of my coaching program this week. If you're interested in that, just listen to some previous episode. I tell you, and this is sincere, man, I get so many damn reviews.

1:07 I just want to read every single damn one to you guys because I believe so much in my coaching that I go a little hard sometimes in the paint. So we're going to go ahead and skip that and instead jump straight into 11. That's right. 11 signs that you are becoming an alpha male. See, these are things that are contingent on other people, because while I always tell you guys to be highly internally motivated, only care about your own filter, you know, we still have to take signs from the outside people and those things that they tell us to let us know kind of like what our progress is.

1:42 Certainly, we can see our own progress just by our own filters. But when you start getting more girls, when people start saying things, which we're going to talk about in this episode, then you're like, OK, the work I'm really doing on myself is really paying off. And the reason I want to do this episode is because I get told by my clients all the time, usually around week six. And it's a 12 week coaching program, probably about halfway through. They always say like, hey, my mom, my brother, my sisters, my co-workers, my friends have all been noticing something different in me.

2:14 And they usually say something along the lines of what's different about you. You seem like you're in a good place or you seem just like you're holding yourself differently or you're more confident or they say a number of different things. And the reason for that is my guys are doing work on themselves. So are you getting people telling you those things? If you are, then you know that you're changing. And today we're going to go over 11 subtle signs you're becoming an alpha male. And all right, the first sign that you're becoming an alpha male is people tell you that you're changing.

2:45 OK, people like your mom, your brothers, your friends, your siblings, they're like, there's something different about you. What's what's going on with you? Have you been eating differently? Have you been happier lately is something my clients hear a lot of the time. So when people tell you you're changing, that is definitely a sign that you should be paying attention to to confirm that indeed you're becoming that alpha silverback girl magnet. Sign number two is people start testing you. And a lot of you guys have had experience with this where you're at the nightclubs, at the bars, you're at work and your friends or acquaintances kind of start throwing some stuff at you, man.

3:23 And this is what we call frame checks in my coaching. They're basically checking your frame and your frame is your perception of reality. So they may insult you a little bit. They may try to get you to do favors for them. Whereas before they never did that stuff. Why is that? Well, before you were probably a little bit submissive. You didn't quite have that alpha vibe about you. So they didn't feel the need to test you. They were like, ah, this guy knows where he's at in the pecking order.

3:50 And with humans, we can often compare it to a pecking order, right? It's like chickens in a pecking order. Well, when you start improving yourself, when you really start advancing in your own confidence as well as your own frame, people start to question, like, where is this dude in the pecking order? And the way they test that, the way they test your boundaries is by pushing on you a little bit. And this happens with females too. They need to know kind of what your status is, what your frame is, and they're going to push you.

4:16 They're going to test you. They're going to say mean things to you in order to test your frame to see exactly where you're at in that pecking order. The third thing you'll notice about yourself is you don't overreact the way you used to. You're just a lot more chill. You're not reactive to what people say. You don't get as butthurt about criticism, and you don't get angry the way you used to in just day-to-day life situations. Like, if you used to come unpeeled when somebody would cut you off, if you used to be very defensive when somebody would say something about you, when you used to argue against people's constructive criticism, that's a sign that you have a weak sense of reality.

4:56 Well, when you're becoming an alpha male, and when you are an alpha male, you have a very strong sense of reality. You don't really care what people think, and your own filter of what you feel is the best thing for you is the final judge. So if somebody pushes against it, you're kind of like, I don't really care, man. And that shows that you have a strong reality, and that shows that you're becoming an alpha male. On that note, there's a very clear screw-it quality to you.

5:23 And when I say screw-it, it's like, eh, who really cares? You really lighten up a lot when you become an alpha male. You don't take everything so seriously. As I said in the previous one, you're not reacting to it. And you kind of just let life flow, and you have a very, like, what-will-be-will-be kind of attitude about things. You don't overreact. You're kind of like a leaf on the river. You're not fighting upstream. You just kind of go with the flow. You float down the river along with the stream.

5:50 And you notice that things usually work out for you when you have that mentality. So the screw-it kind of mentality is the fourth thing that you realize when you're becoming an alpha male. The fifth thing you'll notice is that people start asking for your opinion. They start really weighing your opinion and your advice heavily into their own decisions. And oftentimes, even if you're not the best, most qualified person in the room, when you're highly alpha and highly confident, people will defer to you, even when you don't really want them to, right?

6:22 Cream always rises to the top. And you're going to rise to the top in all social situations, even if you're not the most authoritative presence in that room. You're authoritative just based on the fact that you're an alpha. Because I'd say maybe one out of ten, maybe occasionally it's two out of ten, people are actually alpha in social situations. And people always defer to the alpha. So if you're doing a hobby and you're not like the number one authority on it, people will still look to you to ask for your opinion.

6:53 People will still laugh when you laugh. People will look at you when somebody else says something funny and they're laughing to see your reaction. And they dictate their own reaction off of your reaction, which is highly qualitative of an alpha male's personality. And alpha male's reality is people defer to him, even in those situations where he isn't the obvious authority. The sixth thing you'll notice is that people defer to you and ask for your permission, okay? This is the quintessential example right here. Have you guys ever been at the gym, right?

7:25 And you're doing like curls. You're at the curl station working on nothing but right bicep that day, right? And then some guy walks over to you and he's like, hey, bro, are you using that machine back there? That one over there, the right calf machine? Are you using that one? You're like, nah, man, I'm using the bicep machine. Go ahead and use it. You guys will really notice that they defer to you. They ask for your permission because you're the alpha and people can sense that.

7:49 When you walk into the room, people are like, oh, he's here. He's here. Let me ask him permission if I can use this lat pull-down machine when he's using the machine next door, even though pretty clearly he's not using it. Also, people will ask you if it's okay if they sit next to you. People will ask you if it's okay if they park near you in a parking space or ask for your parking spot or, as I said before, ask for your opinion on things. They're always deferring to you and kind of letting you have first dibs, right?

8:17 If you arrive at a buffet station at the same time as another dude, he's going to be like, oh, go ahead, man. Go ahead. You'll be like, hey, thanks, right? Because you're the alpha. You're like the first wolf that eats. And when it comes to wolf populations, you guys may not know this. Do you know what the alpha male is given from like a dead carcass? He's always given the liver and the heart. So the alpha male takes the liver and the heart, and then the beta male comes in, the gamma male, and then the last dude actually gets the meat.

8:46 So really, the most nutrition is actually in the organs, and that's what the alpha male always eats. Well, when you're the alpha male, they defer to you. They give you the organs. They give you that liver. They give you the most nutritious thing, and it happens in all facets of your life, and that's what you realize when you're becoming more and more of an alpha male. All right, the seventh thing that happens, and many of you guys have experienced this, is your girlfriends will try to set you up with their friends, or your friend's girlfriend will try to set you up with her friend, her sister.

9:15 Girls are always trying to set you up because an alpha male is so rare, and an alpha male is so prized in today's society that women are going to try to set you up with their friends because they're basically affirming that you're a champion, you're attractive, and they want to try to hook you up and or hook their friend up with the true alpha male, which is you. All right, the eighth sign that you're becoming an alpha male is you naturally ascend to be the leader in almost all situations.

9:41 I like to imagine a situation where all of society dies except for like you and 50 people. Like let's say you're taking a cave tour that weekend. You go deep into a cave, the nukes all go off, everybody's dead, and it's just you and 50 people. Who would be the dude that naturally ascends to the leadership position? Would it be you? If it's not, you may want to think about why is it that I'm not naturally a leader, and what can I do to cultivate those qualities within myself to become more of a leader?

10:12 Because the natural alpha male will always ascend to the top of any pecking order, and once again, even if you're in a hobby that you don't know a lot about, it's not your knowledge so much about the hobby. It's your social standing, and there is a pecking order, and we perceive that very quickly. Like think about it. Next time you see a guy, like just walk into the gym, walk into the supermarket, wherever you are. The next time you see a guy, just kind of ask yourself, where is that dude in the pecking order?

10:39 We can tell by body language. We can tell by the way he holds himself, his hygiene, his clothing, his musculature, his facial hair, his masculinity, his general presence, his general bearing. You guys, if we can tell, just imagine how good women can tell, right? They can look at you and immediately tell where you're at in the pecking order. Well, their attraction for you is based on that pecking order and where you're at as far as being an alpha male. Now, the cool thing about men, the cool thing about being a dude is we can ascend very easily through the pecking order, whereas women are kind of relegated to where they're at in the pecking order based on the looks that they were largely born with.

11:21 Whereas with us, we can cultivate ourselves, better ourselves by doing things like watching videos and listening to podcasts. We can cultivate that alphaness inside of ourselves. And when you realize that you're an alpha male, you're going to see yourself naturally ascend to that leadership position. All right. The ninth sign that you're becoming an alpha male, and this one is so important, is you're not afraid to be disagreeable. You're not afraid to ask for things. You're not afraid to tell people you disagree with them. You're not afraid to say what if you didn't hear something.

11:53 Now, this one particularly, I notice in people who are really low value, if you tell a joke, right? Like, let's say you're the alpha male, okay? And you tell a joke, and there's a beta male there. Even if he didn't hear it, or even if the joke made no sense, he'll still laugh at it. Whereas an alpha male, if he hears something, and he didn't understand what it was, he'll say, what was that? And I do this all the time. Like, if somebody's talking to me, telling me a joke, or saying some, like, inside thing that I simply don't understand, I'll be like, what does that mean?

12:23 Right? What do you mean by that? Because I need clarity as an alpha male, I'm very confident in myself to slightly be disagreeable with that person and make them repeat themselves. It's the same thing if somebody's trying to negotiate with me, I'm selling my car, and they, like, lowball the hell out of me, I'm going to be like, nah, man. Like, I'm not going to sell it to you for that, and I'm not afraid to be disagreeable in that respect. If somebody cuts me off in traffic, I'm going to be like, hey, man, watch where the hell you're going.

12:49 Or somebody cuts me off in line at the supermarket, and I'm going to be like, hey, man, I was actually standing here. Whereas somebody who's beta kind of gets walked on, right? He doesn't really stand up for himself the way an alpha male does. I'm not afraid to be disagreeable. I'm not afraid to tell people no. And it's a non-reactive no. It's a high-quality no. It's a no that shows the person, I know my worth, and unless you respect what I've set for myself as my worth, you and I won't be dealing with each other moving forward.

13:18 When you communicate that, not only do you feel way more like an alpha male, but you actually get what you want in life. People respect you. You naturally ascend to the leadership position, which we talked about earlier. So number nine is you're not afraid to be disagreeable. All right, number 10 is along the same lines of being disagreeable. You're not afraid to ask for things. I challenge you to go into Qdoba, to go into McDonald's, the next place you eat, and ask for a discount. And here's how you do it.

13:46 You say, hey, do you guys have the marked discount? And they're like, what's that? And you're like, well, I'm marked. Do you have the marked discount? Many times they'll give you their employee discount, which is like 10% to 15% off. Well, somebody who's an alpha male isn't afraid with that social discomfort. He's not afraid to put social discomfort onto people and or talk to a hot girl, which is extremely socially uncomfortable. So when you feel that you're worth enough, when you feel alpha, you're not afraid to ask for things.

14:15 You're not afraid to be disagreeable. You're not afraid to tell people to respect you. You're not afraid to like ask for somebody's seat on the subway. Or if you're with your grandma, would you have the balls to be like, hey, ma'am, my grandma has a bad hip. Would you mind if she sat there? Would you be afraid to do that? Guys who are alpha aren't afraid to be socially confrontational, quote unquote, because they know their self-worth. They have a high sense of confidence. So the less you care really about what people think of you and bad social interactions going wrong, the more you know that you're becoming alpha because the alpha isn't so concerned about that.

14:53 What the alpha is concerned with is his success, everybody getting a fair piece of the pie. And that includes like you fighting for other people. I know for me, quick story, I was surfing with my friend and there was a big set coming in and he was right next to this other guy. And they both tried to duck under the wave. Well, they both got all messed up and my friend ended up on top of the other guy. Well, the other guy got really angry and he actually kicked my friend in the face as he was paddling off.

15:20 So what do you think I do, man? I lost my shooter marble. I went absolutely crazy and I chased the guy out of the ocean. I was like, get out of here. I'm going to get you, man. And I was like totally after the guy defending my buddy because my buddy wouldn't defend himself. You know, he's a really meek kind of guy. Awesome guy. One of my best friends. But he doesn't have that kind of like alpha male personality that I have. Well, you defend not only your own honor, but the honor of your friends, the honor of your girlfriends, the honor of your family.

15:49 That's what an alpha male does. You're not afraid to ask for things. You're not afraid to be confrontational. All right. The 11th sign. And guys, stay tuned because I'm going to give you actually one bonus one. The 11th sign is you don't really care what people think of you anymore. And that's been a theme that's been weaved throughout all these signs, hasn't it? What you care about is your own opinion of yourself. Did I act as a man who's highly valuable would have acted? Did I do good onto others, even if it includes sometimes being disagreeable?

16:21 You know, just because you're being disagreeable, it doesn't necessarily mean it's bad for the other person, right? If your friend's doing drugs and you disagree with it, you would be wise to disagree with it openly, hence being disagreeable to help your friend. So when you're disagreeable, it's really under the premise of doing right for yourself and doing right for others. I always say, what's the difference between right and wrong? Well, right is that which creates peace for yourself and peace for others. Wrong creates suffering for yourself and for others.

16:52 So the alpha male always does what's right, even when it's uncomfortable, even when it's disagreeable. And he doesn't care what other people think of him because his own filter, as I always talk about on the show, his own filter is the only thing he cares about when it comes to telling him his self-worth. So you legit don't care what people think of you. And consequently, when you don't care what people think of you, people tend to like you. People tend to respect you. All right, the final one, and this one should be the most obvious to all you guys, is girls begin to react to you like never before.

17:23 And this is usually the most exciting one for my clients. When they come into my three-month coaching program and they suddenly become a girl magnet, like going from zero girls to literally talking to 20 girls at one time. And yes, even a guy with zero girls for years on end, once he comes into my program, he's usually talking to about 20 girls at any given time. When he gets to that point, it's like the best evidence, right? Because you're like, man, this is really working. I actually am a girl magnet.

17:51 This is really coming to fruition. And that's what you really begin to see. So I hate to say, unless you're getting some of these signs, boys, you're not really developing as quickly as I know you want to develop. Well, if you push yourself more and the way to grow is to push yourself into discomfort, then you are going to start seeing these signs. And it's so rewarding, even though some of them are contingent upon the good opinion of others. What it really is, is just a sign that you've accepted yourself.

18:19 So if you're reliant upon the good opinion of others, well, you're never going to get that sign that you are changing until you don't care about what they think. And you only care about your own good opinion. Once you do care about your own good opinion, then the good opinion of others is going to start coming into your life. And it's going to come in waves, gigantic waves. All right, gentlemen, that wraps up this Monday's episode. I hope you enjoyed it and really question yourself, man.

18:46 Like, ask yourself, where am I on the scale? Am I getting any of these signs? If you're not, then I dare say it's time to ramp up your training. You can come with me in my three-month coaching program, or you can simply get yourself outside your comfort zone more often because growth is never in the comfort zone. Growth is in the discomfort zone. So if you're just listening to podcasts, being an armchair quarterback, as I like to call it, not actually putting yourself out there, you have a lot of theory, you have a lot of knowledge, but action is lacking, then what I suggest you do is get out there, get into action and or come join me and the rest of the brothers in my three-month coaching program.

19:23 We will hold you accountable so that you can experience talking to as many as 20, sometimes even 30 girls at a time, and just honestly getting more ass than a toilet seat, man. All my guys do. It's funny, on the coaching calls, when me and a client decide to move forward together, I always tell them, bro, go to Costco, buy the bulk pack of condoms, as well as a 20-gallon tub of lube, dog, because you're going to need it. And we always crack up because it's true, man.

19:50 It's true. My guys get results. So anyway, if you want to sign up for a free one-on-one breakthrough session with me, click the link in the description below. I do appreciate you listening, gentlemen. I have an awesome one dropping on Thursday, so make sure to stay tuned for that one, and I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.