20 Funny things to say to girls (soooo funny tho!)

0:00 Is this what you say to all the girls? Only the girls that seem like they have a good personality. You're not boring, are you? No, I'm fun. Is that what you say to all the guys? Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of the UNP. And today, I am going to give you 20 funny-ass lines to say to chicks.

0:41 These lines come from my book, The Conversation Sniper. And as some of you know, I am giving away this book, as well as my other book, Guide to the Female Orgasm, if you simply leave me a review. So just go to iTunes or any of the other podcast apps that you're listening to this on, or even YouTube, and simply leave me a review. That's all I ask. Preferably a five-star review, obviously. But if you leave me that review, then you can email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com.

1:12 Once again, that's coachmarksingh at gmail.com. And I will reply to that email, and I will send you The Conversation Sniper, which has probably 150 of the lines that I'm going to give you today. So I'm going to give you 20. There are 130, 130-ish more lines where that came from. So all you got to do is leave me a review. Sounds pretty fucking good to me. So I hope you enjoy these. And by the way, these are not only to be used when you're actually talking to girls.

1:39 They're actually – some of them are much better to use when you're texting with girls. So a lot of these work really good over texting, and I've run into many, many situations with girls. Anytime something funny will come out of this pie hole, I would write it down, and I compiled this book probably over 10 years. I've also stolen some things from TV shows, movies, other things that I've heard other guys say when we're out and just compiled them all into this book. But the vast majority of these are mine.

2:09 Just kind of pull them out of my ass when I'm really on fire, and some of them are really good. So let's get into it. Many times when I'm talking to a girl and I can see that she's attracted to me, I'll say this. Hey, listen, Kelly, I need to make a deal with you right now, okay? When you stalk me, which obviously you will, please promise to put the ladder back in the garage. All the other girls, like, leave it resting on my house, and it's so annoying, I always have to put the ladder back myself.

2:36 So promise to put it back in the garage, okay? And she'll always laugh. Oftentimes when I meet a girl and we're really hitting it off, like it's just been 30 seconds or something like that, I'll be like, I knew we were meant for each other the first time we met 30 seconds ago. And they always crack up. Relax, Captain Negatron. Stand down, Sergeant Hater. I always say those kinds of things when they spaz out. If a girl's, like, really talking quickly or she's saying some shit I don't understand, which happens often, I always say, I'm going to need Google Translate on my phone if I'm going to keep talking to you.

3:07 When she tells you an idea that's kind of dumb or ridiculous, listen, Kelly, do me a favor and give me some warning before you go and shoot your ideas all over my face. I bet only recently you figured out that there is not a left sock and a right sock, huh? You're not going to try to get me into the back of your rape van, are you? I bet it has like a bubble window and an image of a stallion on the side, doesn't it? Kelly, here you are complaining about XYZ.

3:35 Don't you know that 9 out of 10 African children die every two minutes? Come on now, Kelly, be more appreciative for what you have. If she asks why you're there, you can say, listen, Kelly, I know you're trying to leave with me right now, but come on, we just met. Relax over there, seductress. Relax over there, Casanova. By the way, on that note, whenever girls accuse me of being a player, I always accuse them of being a player. I'm like, yeah, right, I see you flirting with all the guys.

4:01 I see you getting all kinds of numbers trying to accuse me of being a player. I know what you're up to, Casanova. I always call girls Casanova. And me, when I'm driving really fast, I am Gasanova. Get it? All right, remember, flies spread disease, so keep yours closed. Whenever a girl says something stupid, dude, Kelly, I can't believe you said that. Whenever I'm just one-on-one with a girl, like we're on a date and we're at a table, or maybe we're at a table at a bar or something, and I go to the bathroom, I always say, talk amongst yourself for a minute.

4:37 I'll be right back. Talk amongst yourself for a minute. I think it's pretty funny. Oftentimes when I get a girl's number, I'll say this. So I promise to text you 500 times in a row until your cell phone overheats and burns a hole in your purse. Always makes them laugh. Whenever they ask you what you do, so what do you do? Whatever it takes. I always say that. Whatever it takes. And then she laughs. I'll also say, I work at the Freak Show. I'm the world's tallest midget.

5:05 Or I work at the Freak Show. I'm the amazing one-headed man. Can you believe it? The one-headed man is here. That always cracks them up. By the way, if you want a good way to answer the typical questions, what do you do? Where do you work? Where are you from? How old are you? Listen to my podcast that was recorded on November 25th. It's What to Talk About in the First Conversation, I think it's called. But it was recorded November 25th, 2019. That gives a really good formula for how to answer the typical questions that girls are going to ask you.

5:37 Listen, Kelly, don't think you're getting lucky tonight. I have to wake up early to wash my hair and get my nails done. So take it easy over there. Whenever you guys run out of things to talk about, I always like to do this. So do you like weather? That always makes them laugh. Whenever I'm talking to a girl and it's going good and maybe I am laughing a little bit, don't say this to girls who clearly aren't funny. You want to say this to girls where you guys are jiving.

6:03 You say, I'm so glad you're not funny, Kelly, because sometimes when I laugh, I giggle like a schoolgirl and it's really embarrassing. So continue being not funny. This is perfect for me. And she'll slap you in the arm. My favorite movie is Alien vs. Predator vs. Brown vs. The Board of Education. Have a picture of a super ugly old woman in your phone that's funny. Like get a picture of an old meth addict woman who has like jacked up teeth. Her hair is all jacked up.

6:29 She's got welts all over her face. And then say, So Kelly, I applied some age progression software to a photo of yours and I'm afraid I have some bad news. And then show her the picture. Sometimes you're going to invite girls over to your house for dinner. So this is something you can text them. I'm cooking my semi-famous spaghetti on Tuesday. It's semi-famous because it only comes out good half the time. You're invited to experience my culinary half genius. Alright, so once again, those were just 20 of probably 150 lines that you can grab at The Conversation Sniper.

7:03 Leave me a review wherever you're listening to this. And if you can't find any place to leave me a review, just go to YouTube. Just fucking click the app, go to YouTube, type in the Unapologetic Man Podcast. I know unapologetic is hard to spell, but I have full faith that you can do it. Leave me one comment on two separate videos. Like those videos and please also subscribe. I'm trying to build my subscriber list. YouTube is like, meh, it's not getting me the best results. So it's kind of like not my first priority.

7:29 iTunes by far is my first priority. And by the way, if you have an iPhone, you have the podcast app on there and that's where you do it. It's on the podcast app. It's a purple app. Come standard on your phone. So if you do that, email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com. I will reply and plow, I'll send you The Conversation Sniper as well as Guide to the Female Orgasm. And you will be entered into my t-shirt giveaway. I designed these t-shirts myself. I think they're pretty fucking sick.

7:58 You can check that out at coachmarksingh.com. Just scroll to the very bottom there and you'll see me wearing the t-shirt. I'm pretty proud of it. I think it's pretty dope and you'll be entered to win it. And listen, it's only between you and five other dudes. So with every five dudes, I'm giving away one t-shirt. I'll send it to you in the mail. I'm going to ask what your size is. I think that's a lot. All right, dude. Thank you so much for listening, you guys.

8:20 Listen, I do know your time is valuable, okay? And for me, when I listen to a podcast and it's just like bullshit information, I'm like, fuck, dude. Another fucking hour of time wasted. So my main objective with you guys is to give you really high quality content, really good stuff in the fastest time possible. Get you guys what you need so that you don't have to waste any time. I don't want you to have to go to any other podcast station or watch any other YouTube videos.

8:46 I want to give you all the best shit right here so that you can know that all the best shit is found in one place. And you can know that when you come to my podcast, I'm going to give you the right shit, the good shit, the shit that's based on 15 years of learning how to attract women, being an entrepreneur, and trying to maximize myself as a man. So smack yourself on the ass. You're a fucking champion. Is this what you say to all the guys?

9:11 I mean, you fucked up so bad. Yeah, I say it to all the guys. Yeah. Gets me so much dick. Yeah. So hot.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.