20 MORE FUNNY THINGS TO SAY TO GIRLS (PART 2)

0:00 Why are you wearing that shirt? That thing is hideous. I know you're trying to get me undressed right now, sweetie, but this isn't the time or the place for that. Relax. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? It's Mark Sing. Wanted to thank you for listening to another episode of the UMP. I know your time is very valuable, so I intend to use that time wisely and not squander it by giving you 20 more funny things you can say to chicks.

0:47 That last episode I did did really well, so I decided to roll out another 20 things from my book, The Conversation Sniper. And as you remember, if you give me a review, I will send you this book as well as Guide to the Female Orgasm. Just leave me a review on iTunes or even leave me a couple comments on YouTube. Then email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com. Once again, that's CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com. And I will reply with both The Conversation Sniper, 150 one-liners to build attraction, 20 of which I'm going to tell you today.

1:20 And then also Guide to the Female Orgasm, how to turn her into a screaming demon and make it look like she just got hit with a tornado. So leave me a review. And also you'll be entered into my t-shirt winning contest. At the end of the month, end of January, I'm going to give away one t-shirt for every five reviews, for every five guys who email me. I'm going to draw one shirt and send it to you. You can check out that shirt at CoachMarkSingh.com.

1:46 Once again, that's CoachMarkSingh.com. So what do you say we jump into the content, huh? Let's do this shit. All right. Oftentimes when a girl says something cool or something that I deem as her qualifying herself to me, I'll jokingly say the following. And by the way, guys, I was listening to my past episode and I was like, you know, a lot of these can come off as kind of dickish. So I want to say that these are always sarcastic. They're always fun. You might want to back them up with a wry smile, W-R-Y, wry smile, little smirk on your face.

2:17 You're just busting her chops a little bit. But these really do get good attraction. Like when you tease girls in this way, in a funny way, man, it really builds up attraction so much. And that's why so many of these are kind of sarcastic in that way. So don't be like, man, this guy's an asshole, dude. He just likes to talk shit to girls the whole time. Yeah, that's the way to get girls, man. Don't you know? Assholes get girls. Come on now. No, but seriously, I'm not, dude.

2:40 Like I'm actually pretty cool with them. Very playful. It's like two kids on the schoolyard. All right. Remember that. So she qualifies herself to me, says something cool. I'll say, you know what, Kelly? Why do I always use Kelly? I noticed that in the last episode too. I'm like, every episode's Kelly. It's probably because every other girl that you meet up here is called Kelly. So let's switch the name. Let's go with Jessica. You know what, Jessica? You just went up 10 points in my book. You're now at negative six.

3:06 Congratulations. When they ask you where you work, this is another one. Remember I said, when they say, what do you do? You say, whatever it takes. But when they ask you where you work, sometimes I'll say, I work at Hillshire Pharmaceuticals. You can ask her, you know what's great about you, Jessica? She'll say, what? You say, I don't know. It was a question, dum-dum. That's what I always do. You know what's awesome about you? What? It was a question, dum-dum. Always do that. When she says we're not having sex, you can say, you know what?

3:35 I'm glad you said that because I still have to ask my doctor if my heart is healthy enough for sex. I'm not going to have to rename you Stalker Texas Ranger, am I? I always call chicks that, Stalker Texas Ranger. When a girl's really acting up, I'll call her a pocket-sized Satan. You know what, Jessica? You're a little pocket-sized Satan, you know that? That always cracks them up. It was a total disaster fee. It was a total disaster fee. That'll make them laugh. I like this one me and my buddies always say with each other.

4:08 Confirmative. Is that true? Confirmative. I think that's pretty funny. Sometimes I'll say to chicks, social awkwardness is often the curse of a genius. So, you know, social awkwardness is often the curse of a genius. Don't be upset about it. You're probably brilliant. A lot of times when I'll go up to a girl and she's been hit on a lot, like I'll say this to really hot girls. You know what? You've been picked up so many times, you're starting to grow handles. Or I'll say, I've been picked up so many times, I'm starting to grow handles.

4:36 Like when girls are like, man, girls are always all over you, huh? Girls are just like lining up to talk to you, aren't they? Yeah, I've been picked up so many times, I'm starting to grow handles. And then they're like, ha, ha, ha. And they let out a little pussy fart. And then I'm like, oh, I heard that. Just kidding, boys. They don't do that. Maybe. I refuse to answer that on the grounds of I don't want to. All right. You can ask her, so, so Jessica, what's your favorite color?

5:05 She's going to be like, green. Then you're like, wrong. You just lost 10 points with me, Jessica. God, she doesn't even know her own favorite color. What a turn off with a wry smile, boys, with a wry smile. I like this one. My cooking is to die for. Then you can reincarnate and die for it again. Ha, ha. I feel your pain and I back it with a renewed sense of outrage. Sometimes when they say something mean or they're acting silly, whatever it may be, I say, you know what, you know what, Jessica, how do you sleep at night in your car?

5:39 This is good for guys who are probably out of high school, maybe even out of college. Guys in their 20s, you say to her, I just realized something. And she's like, what's that? You're like, we definitely, definitely cannot hang out. And she'll be like, why? Because we're connecting pretty good right now. And with the way things are going, we're probably going to end up making out like teenagers. Then inevitably, you're going to turn psycho, light my locker on fire, and throw my science project into the river.

6:06 That's just too much drama for me, Jessica. We're broken up now. Goodbye. I want my CDs back. I have answers to questions you don't even know to ask. Sometimes I'll say that jokingly. My mom told me not to get mixed up with girls like you. So Jessica, look at my eyes, look at my eyes real quick. Focus. What attracts you way more? My left eye or my right eye? She'll crack up. When you become a crazy cat lady, can I make a documentary about your downward spiral?

6:38 This is really good if you have a pet. I happen to have a pet bird, but a lot of you guys will have dogs or cats. So you say, okay, hey, I'm going to show you a picture right now of my bird. Just to warn you, this picture is so ridiculously cute that rainbows are going to shoot out of your ass when you see it. Are you ready? Always makes them crack up. And then you want to show them like a super cute picture of your dog, cat or bird or whatever it is.

7:03 Your lizard, your snake, your penis, whatever you want to show her, bro. Go for it. Just kidding. Don't show her a fucking picture of your snake. God, why would you do that? Okay. So these are some fun things to say to girls who are like really sarcastic, but probably just say these to your friends. This is, this is four that I think are really funny. I'm going to blow a hole in your argument so big that I, God damn it. I fucked it up. All right, let's try it again.

7:31 I'm going to blow a hole in your argument so big that even I could fuck it. I'm going to hit you so hard. You'll die of starvation before you stop sliding. Take that insert noun here. So you can say, take that drink and shove it up your ass. But first, let me move my dick out of the way. All right. This is with your friends. Everybody relax. We're just having fun here. I'm going to hit you so hard. You're going to fly back up your mom's vagina.

7:57 All right, guys. That was probably more like 23 or 24, whatever. I just fucking slapped them in the biscuit and just hooked them at you. So I hope you enjoyed them. Go through it again. Please leave me a review. If you do, email me. What is it? What's my email? Coachmarksing at gmail.com. That's it. Coach, C-O-A-C-H-M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G at gmail.com. And wow, I'll send you the conversation sniper. By the way, this was like 20 lines. There was another 20 lines in the other podcast. So you, dude, you're looking at like 100 more lines waiting for you.

8:29 Come on, man. Please leave me a review. Even on YouTube, it's fine. But a lot of you guys actually have been leaving me reviews. I've been meeting a lot of you over email. Getting lots of really good feedback, which, by the way, I appreciate. If you're one of the champions who emailed you, I tip my hat to you. Smack yourself on the fucking ass. You're a champion. Really appreciate you guys. Thank you so much for listening. And I will see you in the next podcast.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.