25 CRITICAL TRAITS That Women are Attracted to

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. That new introduction is sick, dude. I love the echo. I didn't even ask for that. I hired this dude and I was like, yo, put this introduction behind this song. And he went ahead and threw the echo, echo, echo in there. And I was like, bro, so sick. I'm really happy with it. I hope you guys like it. I'm trying to put more effort, energy, and money into this podcast.

0:37 As you can hear, my sound equipment got better, got the introduction going. And I really want to commit to this podcast because it's been fruitful for me. I feel like a lot of guys like it. I really try to give good information and I'm going to streamline a lot of what I teach to you. So today's episode is about the 25 things that women are attracted to. Now, is it 25 things exactly? I'm not really sure. I think it's about that, but I'm going to give you really, really good information here.

1:09 So before we get started, I want to let you know that I do offer one-on-one coaching. And what I do is called neuro-linguistic programming. You have programming inside your brain that isn't conducive to attracting women. So if you feel like you have one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake, then it may be some metaprogramming in your brain that was given to you either by your parents or by perhaps friends during your early childhood or some traumatic experience that happened to you. And typically with one session, we can remove the bullshit that's going on inside you.

1:38 So you can get rid of shame, approach anxiety, insecurities, really, really powerful stuff. So hit me up. You can see all about that at coachmarksing.com, M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G.com. And once again, it's neuro-linguistic programming. I basically put you in a mild state of hypnosis. We go through a process and I completely remove any kind of feeling of shame or uncertainty or approach anxiety. And you literally cannot feel it anymore. It's really, really amazing. And it's why I do it is because it's so damn powerful. It's completely changed my life as well as the lives of my students.

2:11 You can see testimonials on my sales page there. So check it out. All right. One last thing before we get started. I want to ask you guys to please give this podcast five stars if you've gotten anything at all out of my coaching, out of John's coaching. We're really trying to grow this podcast. And you wouldn't believe how much it helps us when you just smash that five-star button. We get ranked in the search results a lot better. A lot more people will find us. That's how we grow organically.

2:37 And it will motivate us to continue putting out the high-quality content. I got a great one for you today. So let's jump right into it. All right. So let's go over what women are attracted to. Many, many traits that women are attracted to. And you need to emulate these traits. So first and foremost, and you probably already know this, is confidence. Confidence means not caring what others think of you, believing in your actions, and feeling good about who you are. Another important element of confidence is keeping the promises that you make to yourself.

3:05 So for example, if you say, I'm going to get up tomorrow morning and go work out. If you don't do it, that seriously compromises your confidence. So make sure to keep the promises you make to yourself and to others. The next thing is charisma. And charisma for me is a really important thing. I think it's a big reason I'm successful. It's because I'm able to make other people feel better about themselves from having met me. I get them into a good state. When you're in a good state, other people are going to be in that good state.

3:35 And that's why I say all the time, states are contagious. Be in a good state. That's charisma. Being funny, witty, knowing how to use humor is also important. I'm not talking about the clown kind of humor. But instead, making witty remarks like, hey, if you make me some fresh french fries, I'll get your name tattooed on my neck. I always say that to the people at Burger King. They always crack up and I always get those fresh french fries. I get my cheat meal every Friday.

4:04 God bless do I look forward to that. Double Whopper with cheese, baby. Delicious. Poison never tasted so good. All right, smiles often. A guy who's good with women smiles often. You know, when you see somebody smiling, did you know that there's actually serotonin that's released in your brain? So you actually feel better when you look at somebody smiling. So having a smile on your face, being charismatic, being funny, being confident, all really, really important for generating attraction. All right, the next thing is being the life of the party.

4:39 Women want to be in a good state. And like I said, when you're in a good state, they're going to want to be near you. Now, being in the life of the party obviously doesn't mean being obnoxious. I'm going to make another podcast about what women are not attracted to. And they're not attracted to the obnoxious guys. So calibration here. But many times when guys go out, they're like self-conscious. But what you want to do is let that go, be the life of the party, and don't be self-conscious.

5:06 Like if you're pulling your shirt off your tummy or you're worried about what your outfit looks like, you're worried about how big your arms look when you're standing next to the bar, these are the things you want to drop and just have fun. I mean, if I had to give a kid, and I've actually done this, kid asked me, hey, Mark, you're a dating coach. How can I get this girl attracted to me? And I just said, be fun. Be fun, little buddy. Because he was in seventh grade.

5:31 I was like, be fun. Be the fun guy. And that's probably one of the most important things you can do when you are at a party is be the life of the party. You also want to be a people person, someone who's socially intelligent. You've probably heard me say before that communication and the ability to persuade are two of the most important things in getting good with women and getting good in life. So being a people person is really important. You want to generally be likable.

5:59 Now, here's a quick tip. How do you get likable? One of the best ways to get likable is to like the other person first. When you like somebody, it's a very, very high chance that they're going to like you back. So find reasons to like most people. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Have compassion. You know, when you walk into the gym and everybody has this like combative vibe about them, if you simply change your perspective on that and say, look, everybody here is a friend, you will literally change how people react to you.

6:33 I have this saying that is, strangers are friends I haven't met yet. And that's really the way you need to go through life. Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet. And if you take that into the club, into bars, into the gym, into coffee shops, supermarkets, that everybody's a potential friend of yours, it's going to totally change your vibe. It's going to totally make people like you. A guy who's generally happy. You know, nobody wants to be with a Debbie Downer. Women don't want to be with a guy who's negative.

7:02 Some girls do. You know, the girls who are negative themselves, but you don't want to be with a girl like that. So a guy who generally sees the good in life, I'll tell you, to be happy is a strength. To be sad is weakness. So if you're generally happy all the time, I'm not talking about this airy fairy bullshit, but just generally seeing the good in life, seeing that challenges are ways to build you and things going wrong are actually a benefit because they're making you a better man.

7:32 If you can have that perspective, you'll generally be happy most of the time. And because you'll be happy most of the time, women will get attracted to you. So that also goes into being positive, not complaining. Who likes to be around somebody you're complaining? I certainly don't. So being positive, also being close to your family, especially to your mom. You know, when I would always tell women, hey, I'm really close to my mom. I love her so much. Look, I have a picture of her, you know, right on the wallpaper of my phone.

8:02 I mean, they would just light up because a guy who's close to his mom obviously treats women well. He, you know, is probably socially savvy. She can introduce you to her mom. There's all kinds of good that comes out of a guy who's close to his family. All right. So also being close to your friends, you know, speaking good of your friends. So many guys talk shit about their friends as if they're almost enemies, but you should see the good in your friends. And it's easy to do that too when you have a girlfriend.

8:31 It's just to focus on the negative things about her. But when you focus on her positives, when you see what a wonderful girl she is and really focus on that, it makes you just seem like a better person and it makes other people want to be around you. A guy whose friends are champions. You know, your friends say a lot about you. If your friends are losers and drug addicts and criminals, then what does that say about you? So surround yourself with people who you want to be like.

9:01 And I'll tell you, there's a saying. You can tell how somebody will be by looking at his three closest friends. You are the summation of the people who you hang around with. So are your friends living up to the standard that you've set up for yourself? Are your friends positive? Are they charismatic? Are they confident? Are they funny and witty? And all these things that we're saying, because if they're not, chances are you aren't either. So it might be time to up your game when it comes to friendships.

9:30 Now that begs the question, how do you get rid of friends that you've known forever who are dragging you down? Typically, it's a slow process. You slowly start weeding them out. And I'll tell you, as you start to grow, as you start to better yourself, those people will just fall off the map naturally. You guys won't be interested in the same things anymore. You won't connect the way you used to, and they'll find other things to do as you find other things to do and other people to meet.

9:56 All right. Being the leader of men. When you lead the men, the women will follow. And I don't have to tell you, you know this already, that women are attracted to the leader of men and they are attracted to the leader of women. Women love a leader. They want you to lead them. Trust me. They want you to lead them. What I always say is lead women to where they want to be led. If you can give that subtle combination of reading a woman, knowing what she wants, and then leading her there, man, you will make that girl fall in love with you.

10:29 It's so, so powerful. All right. Being independent. Now, while I say all these things of treating your woman well, while I say to love your woman and to respect her, you also want to appreciate your own time. You should love your own company. Personally, for me, I can spend a month alone and be absolutely content. I mean, I've done it before. I lived in Japan, had no friends. It was just me and I was perfectly fine to do that. So when you love your own time, you go do your own things.

11:02 And a woman wants a man who's ambitious and independent, has his own life. She's not always, you know, trying to ride on her coattails. But instead, he has his own stuff going on and he's comfortable to do so. That's very, very attractive to women. All right. You want to have some sort of sense of entitlement when it comes to women that you deserve a high quality hot girl, not because you were born that way, but because you've worked on yourself. Now, do I believe that every single guy in the world deserves a high quality hot girl?

11:38 Well, if they work on themselves and better themselves and step back into the natural self esteem that they were born with, yes, but if they don't and they're just getting fat, sitting on the couch, eating Cheetos, then no. But since you're working on yourself, since you've listened this far into this podcast, then you probably deserve it because you are working on yourself. So what I always like to say is be your own hero. Be your own hero. So many people have heroes outside themselves. But what do you think of yourself?

12:10 Here's an interesting experiment you can do. Look yourself in the mirror and see if you can say without blinking, without hesitation, without being uncomfortable, I am proud of you. Look yourself in the eyes in the mirror and say, man, I'm proud of you. Proud of you, bro. And then take your right hand and smack yourself on the left shoulder and be like, I'm proud of you, man. I'm proud of you. If you are a better version of yourself than you were yesterday, then that is something to be proud of.

12:41 Don't compare yourself to other people. Don't compare yourself to me or to any other dating coach. Compare yourself to yourself a year ago. And next year, you're going to be better. The year after that, you're going to be even better and you're going to continue to grow. If you're growing, then that's something that you should be proud of. All right, a girl wants a guy who is a challenge. You know, no girl, and frankly, no guy for that matter, likes a partner who just lays down and is no challenge for her.

13:11 So in my coaching, I give lots of sneaky little ways to be a challenge to her and that really gets girls attracted. Being a challenge, super important. A guy who has strong body language. I'm going to do a podcast all about body language, but having confident, self-assured composure in your body language is really, really important to attracting women, especially out in public, in bars, in nightclubs. It's really important that you have strong body language. Now, this can go too far. You look at half the guys in the gym and they're just taking it way too far.

13:46 I think they do it because they're stuck in their testosterone, but their chest is puffed out, their shoulders are back, their chins are up. They like look like they want to get in a fight with somebody. Well, you see guys who do that in the nightclubs too. You want to tone it down. This is one thing I always say. The perfect body language is relaxed body language. You're succeeding in life, but you don't have to prove it. A guy who is outspoken and assertive, isn't afraid to voice his opinion.

14:15 Also a guy who knows his likes and dislikes, his limits as it applies to women, knowing what he wants and knowing how to get it. You know, I always say this, treat a woman well, but let her know you are not to be fucked with. That's a very good balance to have with women. A man who's decisive. When a decision comes, you're not vacillating between two choices. You're definitely not asking her, well, what do you want to go eat next? No, no, no, no. You're decisive.

14:44 If she says, hey, would you want to go eat at Burger King and get a double Whopper with cheese rather than going to sushi? And you look at her and you say, you know what? That's a great idea. Let's do it. That's still being decisive. Even though she suggested it, you're still the final decision. So once again, you're leading her to where she wants to be led. If instead you said, well, I don't know. I mean, do you really want to eat a hamburger? I guess we could.

15:10 Yeah, yeah. I guess that's fine. Let's go do it. That's not being decisive. That's being wishy-washy and not taking the lead, not leading her down that adventure that she wants to have. Lead women to where they want to be led. A man who's not swayed easily from his own beliefs. So if you happen to like a TV show, let's just say, I don't know, Family Guy, and she says Family Guy is stupid, well, a lot of beta males would say, you know what? You're right. Family Guy is stupid.

15:39 It's poor quality. It's dumb jokes. It's racist. Whatever. No, no, no, no. See, you have a belief that Family Guy is cool. So you look at her like she's an 11-year-old little girl who just says something totally stupid and you're like, what? You are not cool if you don't like Family Guy. It's because you're steadfast in your beliefs. Now, quick caveat to this. Men who are too stubborn in their beliefs, that shows ego and that shows the inability to be open-minded to other people's opinion. So while you are steadfast in your beliefs, you allow other opinions to come in and influence yours.

16:18 If you determine, now this is the secret, if you determine that they are superior to your previous attitude, what does that mean? That means you're letting it influence you. And because you're letting it happen, you are controlling the frame. You are being decisive. You are having a strong belief system. There are some subtleties here that are important to understand. I'm going to get into frame control in a different episode of this podcast, but just let that be known right now. When you let somebody influence your opinion, let somebody have their way, you are still controlling the frame and you are still being decisive and steadfast in your reality.

17:00 So keep that in mind. Ambition. Super, super important. Even if you're ambitious about being a professional video game player, that's cool. Whatever it is that you're ambitious about, you're passionate about, that will attract women. You don't have to be a doctor or a lawyer or anything else that's considered a high value job. You just need to be passionate and driven, ambitious. You are independent of the good opinion of others. You don't really care what people think of you. There's a book title I really like. What you think of me is none of my business.

17:37 That should be your MO from here on out. Hey bro, what you think of me is none of my business. Pre-selection. Another podcast idea. God damn, we're getting a lot of podcast ideas out of this. Having women in your life means that you're going to have more women in your life. I cannot tell you how powerful it is when I roll into a club or a bar with Marissa on my arm. Marissa's my girlfriend and she's quite pretty. It's just pre-selection up the butt, dude. Like all the chicks are jocking me.

18:05 They all want to talk to me. Why? Because I have a hot girl already. It's a cognitive shortcut for women to be attracted to men who already have attractive women on their arm. Non-attachment to outcome. This is so important as a big part of frame control. You don't care what happens. Whatever happens, happens. You're cool with it. No big deal. You're not attached to outcome. You're just having a good time. And what will be, will be. That really needs to be a part of your mentality when you go out to meet girls.

18:38 Your respect must be earned. You don't give respect outright. In some ways you do. Okay, so we respect all human beings because they are a soul too. They are a person. They are beingness. And frankly, they're equal to you when it comes to just equality of being. But if somebody disrespects you by lying to you, taking advantage of you, of course, in that respect, your respect must be earned. And if somebody fucks with you, you get rid of them immediately. That's why with some women, you know, they're going to try to play games.

19:12 They're going to, you know, not show up to dates. They're going to do shit like that. If you show them, hey, listen, like my respect must be earned. I do not stand for that. If this behavior continues, I'm sorry, but we're going to have to part ways. When you say those kinds of things, it's showing her that your respect must be earned. A guy who isn't throwing off his composure. Jesus, I could do like 10 podcasts on this because it's so important. So if a woman says something and you react negatively or you're butthurt by it, that's being thrown off your composure.

19:43 So for now, I'm going to say is this is stay composed. Be unaffected. Don't be attached to outcome. Don't be thrown to and fro by the outside circumstances of your life. Get your state from within. I have this thing called the inner balance point. It's your intern centeredness that nobody can influence. I was at my girlfriend's house the other day and her mom said something kind of mean to me. She's like, Mark, you're so weird. And I said to her, you're right. I am uncommon. And that was my response.

20:16 I was totally unaffected. I switched it. I framed it. I basically switched the tables on her. I reframed it. And I said, you're right. I'm uncommon, which obviously you and I know it means, yeah, I'm a fucking champion, dude. Like I get after it. Thanks for the compliment. So that's a way to reframe things. And certainly I wasn't off my composure when she said that. In fact, I found it pretty laughable. All right. So women want to be with a guy who will bring her up.

20:45 You've heard of this thing trading up that women will do, right? A girl will have a boyfriend. She'll meet a cooler guy. She'll dump her boyfriend to be with that cooler guy. Well, you need to be that dude that is going to bring her up a level. Now, does that mean you have to date five, sixes, and sevens? Hell no. Like you can be looks wise. You can be an eight. I think I'm about an eight looks wise, but I've dated tens because my lifestyle, my frame, my wittiness, my charisma, that all brings her up.

21:17 My life perspective, the fact that you're working on yourself right now, every single second you work on yourself, you're bringing yourself up. You're increasing your stock and the pecking order. And so when you're with a woman, she wants to be brought up, bro. She doesn't want to be brought down. There is no begging a woman to have sex with you. It's all about convincing her on that emotional channel and giving her the sense that being around you is going to raise her stock, even if it's raising the state stock.

21:48 And what I mean by state is the way she feels raising that stock. That's good. That's actually the best. So when you bring her up, when she aligns with you and you bring her to the next level, that is extremely attractive and even necessary to get a girl attracted to you. So she really wants a guy who gives value. She's fun, interesting, a guy who's happy, vibing, can bring her up, like I just said, in all areas of her life. So when you bring all the things that I just spoke about, that is bringing her up.

22:18 When you can have even 60% of those qualities, which I just outlined, more and more women will get attracted to you. So really work on these, you guys. Really focus on this because this is so, so important. All right, let's continue with this. A man who understands women and how they think. So one good thing to do is to read girly magazines sometimes, to look on the covers. You may, if you're really motivated, want to read those literatica books like Fifty Shades of Grey. You need to get into the woman mindset and understand how they think.

22:53 One of the best ways to sell to anybody is to put yourself in their shoes. One of the best ways to negotiate, to quell an argument is to put yourself in their shoes, see how they're thinking from their perspective. When you can do that with women, you can get into their heads, see how they think and give to them that which they are attracted to. A man who has good style and hygiene, that's obvious. A man who can lead, we've talked about that. You want to be in control, but not controlling.

23:26 You're in control, but you're not controlling. What's the difference? Well, once again, back to the Burger King and sushi thing. You guys have plans to go to sushi. She says, hey, let's get Burger King instead. And while you're still in control, you're the one who lets that, again, let is the operative word. You're the one who lets it happen. You're not being like a control freak. If she's like, listen, sushi gives me projectile diarrhea. Later tonight, you're going to have to freaking hold my leg on your shoulder and I'm going to launch diarrhea out the window.

23:59 Obviously, you're not going to be controlling and be like, yo, we're going to sushi. I don't give a shit what happens to you. But at the same time, you are in control. You say, yeah, cool. Let's go to Burger King. I actually think that sounds pretty good. Let's do it. So you see the difference there. A man with a strong reality. This also goes into frame control. Your perception of reality must be stronger than hers for her to get attracted to you. That's a pretty extreme statement, but I stand by it.

24:30 Your interpretation of reality, the way you see things has to be stronger than hers in order for her to become attracted to you. That also goes down to the level of frame. And I'm going to do a podcast on frame control. Your frame must be stronger than hers if she's going to be attracted to you. If she has a stronger frame than you do, you are done. So stay tuned for my podcast on frame control. It's going to be a damn good one. I'm really excited about that one.

25:00 All right. A man who can be chivalrous without supplicating to her. What's supplicating? As one movie put it, I believe it was the 40-year-old virgin, putting the pussy on a pedestal. You don't want to put the pussy on a pedestal, but you do want to be chivalrous. What is chivalry? If she's cold, you give her your jacket. If you guys are walking to your car and the passenger door happens to be on your path, you open the door for her. If she's tired, you take her home early.

25:30 You know, you do things that are gentlemanly. You pull out the chair for her sometimes. But at the same time, you don't want to supplicate. Supplicate is kissing her ass, making her feel like a queen, making her feel like a queen in order to get something from her. I think that's what it is. It has like this manipulative vibe about it that makes it supplication. It's basically putting her above you and being like, you know, putting her up above you. You can still be very good to a woman.

25:59 And I'm not saying to have her below you, although your frame does have to be stronger. You guys are equal. Okay, I want to make that clear so all the feminists don't freak out. You guys are equal. But she wants you to lead her. Now, she's superior in certain ways, bro. Like me and my girl just had a baby. Bruh, like the way she takes care of that baby blows me out of the water. I'm not even close. She's got this touch, this feminine thing going on that I can't even like begin to get close to.

26:28 So women are better at some things. Men are better at the others. But when it comes to this, you want to lead her. You want to be decisive, have a stronger frame than hers. All those things we've spoken about. All right. Lastly, women are attracted to men that are high status. And high status is all these things combined. So work on yourself. Continue doing what you're doing. Please continue listening to this podcast. Now, if you really want to accelerate your learning, if you really want to accelerate your progress, especially with some of the bullshit that's going on in your head, I strongly suggest coaching.

27:01 And bro, you don't even have to come coach with me. Like go find another dating coach for all I care. All I'm saying is that I suggest every single guy who wants to get better in life and get better with women should be getting coaching. I do NLP coaching. NLP is Neuro Linguistic Programming. I go into that head. And with NLP processes, I basically reprogram the bullshit that's going on in your head. Each session lasts about an hour and a half. Check me out. CoachMarkSingh.com.

27:31 Thank you again, guys, for listening. If you could please give this five stars on whatever channel you happen to be listening to this on. iTunes for the most of you, Spotify, and any other podcast platform. I really would appreciate it, man. You know, I'm doing this alone now. I'm really digging deep to give you guys some good content. So if you found even one little thing valuable, I'd appreciate it if you just smash that five-star button. Really appreciate you guys. Thank you so much for listening, and I will see you in the next podcast.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.