3 Fast Ways to Get Instant Confidence

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. If you've been listening for a long time, you know what to do. That's right, smack yourself on the ass. You are a goddamn champion, and if you're new to the show, welcome. What I try to do is give the best information in the most succinct way possible, and today, we're going to talk about three quick, easy ways to skyrocket your confidence and make yourself feel like the champion that you need to feel like you truly are.

0:47 Before I get into the content, I want to give a shout out to one of my listeners. I got an email today, guys, that absolutely blew me away. I got an email from a guy from Syria. Okay, and if you don't know, Syria is in the middle of a civil war. And he writes me, he's like, what's up, Mark? My name's Omar, and I'm really a fan of your content. Love what you're doing. I know it may seem strange that I'm in the middle of a civil war, and I'm still trying to get girls.

1:12 But I'm really just trying to better myself, and thank you so much for everything that you do. Bro, that absolutely floored me. I was absolutely beside myself with shock, and I just wrote him back, and I was like, brother, like, you really inspired me. And I want to put out a message to you guys that the next time you complain that you're masturbating too much, or your internet isn't fast enough, or you're too fat, or you can't get the girl attracted to you that you want to get attracted to you, Our boy Omar is in the middle of a fucking war zone.

1:41 He's dealing with shit that we can't even comprehend. And it makes you realize how goddamn good the vast majority of us have it when we know that in the world today, right now as we're speaking, there's bombs going off and bullets whizzing by people's heads who have no choice in the matter. His electricity probably comes on intermittently, can't be trusted. Who knows if the water is clean? Who knows if he can get food? Who knows? Fill in the blank. Your life is of the utmost uncertainty when you're in that kind of situation, and here we are complaining about COVID.

2:15 And how we can't go out at night because we have to wear masks, and they have a social distancing order in place, and we're all feeling sorry for ourselves because we can't live our lives the way we used to. Well, I'm telling you, it could get a lot worse. And look at this fucking guy. Omar is a fucking champion. He's over there in Syria in a goddamn war zone, and he's still trying to improve himself. He's listening to this podcast. He's learning how to get chicks.

2:39 And Omar, I dedicate this one to you, brother. I have the utmost respect for you. And don't worry, guys. I took care of Omar. I sent him some shit that hopefully is going to make him a girl magnet over there in Syria. Bro, I want the explosions going off to be all the girls you're going to be giving orgasms to over there in that war zone. So much respect, brother. I salute you. If you ever need any help, you know I'm just an email away. Always here for you, man.

3:04 So before we get started, guys, I want to thank you for the reviews. If you leave me a review, preferably a five-star one with some writing behind it, please email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com. And I will send you a bunch of cool shit, including the conversation sniper, 150 deadly one-lighters for building attraction, three texts to build massive attraction in women, impress your friends, baffle your enemies, and guide to the female orgasm. And of course, if you leave me a review, I will get your name tattooed on my neck, I will get a picture of you put on the side of my car with 1-800-CHAMPION below it, and I will give you my coaching business when I am slain in battle.

3:46 And one more thing, guys, before we get started, I am trying to grow my Instagram now. So if you could follow me over there, I very much would appreciate it. You could click the link in the description below, or you can follow me at Coach Mark Singh. Again, that's Coach, M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G. I'm going to be posting there multiple times per week, posting some funny shit, things you can say to girls. I think my last post was, when you become a crazy cat lady, can I make a documentary about your downward spiral?

4:16 I just posted that, and you guys could text that to a girl right now if you wanted to, and it'll probably make her laugh. So that's my intention, is to give you real tangible things that you can use, that you can say to girls, that you can text to girls, right here in the here and now. And I'm going to be trying to do that at least five times per week. So go ahead and follow me, man. I hope to give you guys some really good content, as I intend to do in this podcast as well.

4:39 So three ways to get instant confidence. What do you say we jump into this? All right, I'm going to start with the somewhat easier ways to do it, and then I'm going to get into the more badass ways, as the episode progresses towards the end there. I want to give you my best way, my best advice. But first of all, I want to tell you about a little NLP trick that we typically use when we're trying to get somebody a boost of confidence. And this is really good to do before you have to do some public speaking, or you're going to go open a hot girl.

5:07 So what I want you to do is I want you to pretend that the version of yourself that is the most confident, the most badass, the most champion, the most unapologetic is standing in front of you right now. Look what he's wearing. Look how he's standing. Look how his body language is. Really see everything about him. Now what I want you to do is have him step inside of you. So right now he steps inside of you, and as he does, you become him. Notice your body language changing.

5:38 Notice yourself opening up, your chin going up, your shoulders going back. You're feeling good about yourself. You're turning into that silverback, unapologetic alpha male that we know you have inside of you. And now that you've become that man, act as if you are him when you're going to do what you're about to do. So if you're about to go on stage to do a speech, pretend you're him. If you're going to go open a girl, pretend you're him. And who is he? He's simply the most confident version of yourself.

6:07 And we all know what that's like. We've all been confident when we were kids before friends, parents, and everybody else ruined our self-esteem. We know what it feels like to be confident. So just choose to be that. Have him step inside of you. Act as if you're that confident guy, and you will get a radical boost of confidence. And throughout your daily life, you could just continue to pretend that you're that guy. How would I act now is a really good thing to ask yourself over and over again.

6:35 How would he be acting? How would I behave if I were my own hero? That's why I have the tagline on the back of my shirts, be your own hero. It's one of my biggest taglines that I love to say to myself all the time. What would I do if I were my hero right now? When I was elk hunting last weekend, I had a lot of challenging moments where elk would be on the top of these big ass hills with like cliffs and like all these crazy travasses and ravines that I had to get through.

7:03 And I kept asking myself, what would my own hero do? He'd get the fuck up there. Even though it's dusk and it's about to get pitch black, he would go up there and try to hunt those elk. And at the end of that hunting trip, man, I probably walked 50 plus miles, put in all kinds of work, left nothing on the table. And though I didn't get anything, I was my own hero because I stepped inside myself as the hunter, the predator that I wanted to be.

7:28 And I didn't let myself down. And that's what I want you guys to do. Act as if you are that guy and you will be just as confident as he is. All right. My second tip regards other people. One of the biggest things you can do to prove to yourself that you are a human being who has a high level of self-worth is to ask people for things, is to ask for favors, to ask for rebates, to ask for discounts, to ask for more on top of what people are offering you, particularly when you're buying something or you're getting some sort of service.

8:02 So the other day I challenged myself to do this. I was at an oil change place and I was in front of all these people who were in the waiting room with their masks on, waiting to get their cars done and everybody could hear me. It was really quiet. And the guy's like, all right, Mark, it's 75, 34 or whatever the price was. And I was like, yeah, can I get that for free, please? And he's like, he looks at me and I just kept the frame, right?

8:23 I just kept looking at him. And he's like, no. And I was like, well, how about a discount? And he's like, well, you know, we do have a 15% discount going on right now. I was like, cool, slap that on there. So the reason why we do this is twofold. First of all, when you ask for things, you prove to yourself that you're a man who's valuable. You deserve more. You deserve the best. You are a champion and you deserve it. The second is social pressure. I often put myself under these social pressure situations in order to make myself comfortable with social pressure, because if you've been listening to this podcast for any amount of time, you know how big I am about your ability to endure social pressure.

9:01 So when you go talk to a woman, particularly an attractive woman, you're feeling that social pressure. And that's why our brains often go into what I call screensaver mode. It's because you have too much adrenaline dumping into your brain that you're not used to. So you go into screensaver mode and you become a dipshit. Now to get over that is simply putting yourself under social pressure constantly. So every day I try to do some kind of social pressure thing to myself, whether it's talking really loud so people can hear me, doing a podcast like this one where I know there's tons of guys listening to me right now as I speak.

9:36 Opening cute girls, of course, is a huge way to build your social pressure muscle, but also asking for things and putting uncomfortable social situations at the forefront of my social social exchanges so that not only do I feel the social pressure, but I get to experience what other people act like when they feel the social pressure. Because that guy at the oil change place, he was feeling the social pressure too. And I simply showed him that I can endure more than you can. And that's a big thing of frame control.

10:04 Can you endure more of that pressure than the girl can? Can you endure more of that pressure than the alpha male who's trying to flex up on you? Well, once again, it's practice, practice, practice. Now, this also boosts your confidence tremendously. When you do these things that are societally unacceptable, right? And I have my clients do this. We'll go into Starbucks, for example, and take a sip of the coffee and yell out loud, fuck, this is hot, right? One of my clients did that. I went into the fruit section in the supermarket the other day and I picked up an orange and I was like, these oranges look delicious, like as loud as I could.

10:39 And what's interesting is that when you put the social pressure on yourself in this way, other people are feeling the social pressure too. And because they can't handle it, they're going to just act like nothing happened. It's really crazy. You guys should try this. Go do something societally unacceptable. And I've talked about this many times in this podcast. Whistle out loud when you're going through the supermarket. Fart. Walk through a crowd slowly clapping your hands, which I believe was an idea originally created by Max of Real Social Dynamics.

11:06 Great idea. But what you do is you put this social pressure on yourself and then not only do you get more, ability to endure that social pressure, but also you get more confident because now you're asking for things. Hey, I'm worth it. And when you prove to yourself that you're worth it, that you're a human being who has high value, you are worth it to breathe the air on this earth. You are worth it to ask for more than what they're offering. You begin to prove to yourself like, you know what?

11:34 I am actually worth it. And then your confidence goes up because of it. All right. The third thing I want to talk about, and by the way, I'm going to give you four tips because I always try to over deliver in this podcast as well as in my coaching, by the way, always over deliver. And you guys should too. Remember, be a go giver. Oh, actually, that reminds me. Okay. If what I said for tip number two, you're thinking to yourself, but Mark, I thought you said don't be a taker.

11:58 Yeah, that's true. You can be a taker as long as you're also a giver. So as long as you're giving good energy to people, you're always giving people help. You're donating to homeless people. Then you have the right to ask for more from people. And actually, when you do that, it's showing them that you're worth it. And then you're going to give back to them in the measure of like a thank you or appreciation, or oftentimes I'll leave people reviews. So a lot of times I'll go into like, I just had my tires.

12:27 I just got brand new tires for my truck and they did such an awesome job. They didn't charge me as much as they usually would because I asked for a rebate. The freaking thing drives like it's on glass. It feels so good. I went and I left them an awesome review and I told my friends about them. So while we can ask for more, we always want to give back even more than what we asked for. And that invokes the law of attraction, which as you may know, when you put it out there, you get more back.

12:54 But included in the law of attraction is you asking, hey, I deserve this. Can I have this please? And that's a fundamental principle of the law of attraction. First, you have to ask before you can receive. So you're asking the universe, hey, I deserve more than this. Could I please have more? And you'd be surprised what people would be willing to do for you if you just ask. All right. Going on to point number three. This is what I call the win cup, win cup. And what it is, is you need to really write down, take note of, and remember your successes.

13:28 Remember all the great things that you've done. Remember the great guy that you are. And you've had so many more successes than you remember you have had. I guarantee you, you've forgotten of so many things that you've done. So many examples of perseverance. So many examples of compassion, of confidence, of success, of genius that you've had in your life. And the thing is, is that as humans, we tend to focus on what happens that's wrong. Now, this is an anthropological phenomenon that actually aids in our survival.

14:00 When we focus on what we're not good at, when we focus on what we did wrong, when we focus on our failures and losses, we really want to improve our situation. And therefore, it increases our chances of survival. But so many people are hiking up a mountain, and they're only focused on how far they have to go rather than how far they've come. How many times have you looked back down that mountain and said to yourself, fuck, man, I really have come far. You know, I've been working on myself.

14:27 I've been investing in myself. I'm listening to podcasts like this one, really trying to get better in this way. And therefore, I deserve a pat on the back. And you deserve the pat on the back. You need to be your own hero. You need to be your own biggest supporter. And one of the best ways to do that is to have that win cup. And what it is, is it's just a folder on your computer. Or I used to literally have a notebook that I called my win cup.

14:52 It's like a cup that you keep your phone numbers in. That's where it originated from. Because back before cell phones, when I started gaming, we would just get phone numbers on a napkin or a piece of paper, and I put them in the win cup. Well, that evolved into a notebook. And now it's evolved into like a folder on my computer where there's file upon file upon file of like this success, that success. This is what I did. You know, even last weekend's elk hunt, that would go in the win cup.

15:17 Because even though I didn't get an elk on the ground, again, to be your own hero, it doesn't matter the result. It matters the effort. I left nothing on the table. Nothing. I was fucking annihilated at the end of that hunt. And again, I patted myself on the back and I was like, good job, bro. You did everything you could. It's not your fault that you didn't get one. You know, you can't control the result. You can only control the effort. So you guys have had so many successes that you're not focusing on and you need to focus on that.

15:47 And when you go through even pictures of your life, right, you go through pictures of your life and it will remind you of the kinds of situations you were in. It will remind you of the kind of things that you were doing. You'll have epiphanies where you're like, oh, shit. Remember that one time where I had this success? You know, I got this grade. I got this girl's phone number. I won this race. Or even, again, just putting out the effort. Like, man, I really tried my best in that class.

16:13 And yeah, I got a B minus, but it was like everything I had. And therefore, I'm proud of myself because of it. So while you should keep an eye on the destination where you're hoping to head, you should also look back and count your wins. Be proud of yourself. Be your own hero. And that's going to give you a massive, massive dump of confidence. All right. And finally, finishing this off, a lot of the reason us guys are insecure is because other people seem to have their shit so damn together.

16:42 So I want to let you know something. And this is such an epiphany for me. Completely changed my life and made myself so much more relaxed when it came to other people. Because confidence is really a person-to-person thing, which means your confidence is based on how you feel about other people around you and how they compare to you, really. So you're always comparing yourself to other people and you're feeling insecure because, like, you feel like you're less than them. But here's the thing, bro, and I really want you to, like, tattoo this across your face, is that everyone is fucking insecure.

17:15 Nobody, including me, is 100% secure. Yes, I still have my insecurities. Yes, I still see myself doing things and acting in ways that are derived from insecurity. It's way less now than it used to be. I'm talking way less. But everybody, I'm talking everybody, is analyzing themselves, thinking and worrying about what other people are thinking of them, changing their behavior in order to adopt to what other people are thinking. Everybody does that in subtle ways, including me. Now, once again, I'm going to be honest with you.

17:51 It's way fucking less. Like, I'd say maybe 5% out of 100% I'll be doing that shit. But I still catch myself sometimes. And actually, 100% transparency. I actually did a disclaimer laugh the other day. I asked somebody for something, and a disclaimer is laugh when you laugh afterwards. Like, hey, do you want to go to the movies? I did that, and I was like, what the fuck was that? And, like, I had to go pull myself in the corner and have a little talk. I was like, bro, what was that?

18:17 Where did that come from? And I did some work on it. I did some NLP on it, and I feel like I've moved past it. But look, it's a journey for all of us, including me. So if you're, like, comparing yourself to other people or even comparing yourself to me, like, oh, I bet Mark Singh doesn't feel this way. Don't be so sure. Don't be so sure. It's with all of us. We're all insecure. So the next time you're in a nightclub or the gym is a great example, look at people.

18:40 And I don't want you to turn this into being judgmental because this can easily become judgmental. Your ego is going to grab onto this and try to claim superiority over others because of this. So I ask you to temper and control with discipline the desire to do that. And instead, just observe with a completely subjective eye, which means you're observing them and you're like, oh, shit, look at the way that guy's, like, kind of walking around. Oh, he pulled his shirt off his fat. Oh, he kind of had a weird, uncomfortable body language mannerism right there.

19:13 Hmm. He must be feeling insecure about himself. And I'm telling you, with every single person you see, you will see this. Now you're seeing, okay, well, everybody's kind of insecure because that's just kind of how naturally we are. That's how humans naturally are. And again, we can trace that back to an anthropological phenomenon where what people think of us is so extremely important to our survival that being insecure in a way is a red flag to either work on ourselves or be cognizant of what other people are thinking.

19:46 So there really is a reason for it. There's a reason why it's programmed into your DNA, programmed into your brain. But in today's society, it doesn't matter nearly as much as it used to. And the weird thing is, is that when you become an alpha male and you let go of what people think of you, people actually like you more. And that's like the secret, the freaking key that fits into the secret door lock that so many people never figure out that when you figure out, you can unlock that door and walk into the life of an alpha male, which is what?

20:20 Like one out of, I don't know, 25 guys get to be there. It's a very rare thing to finally realize that, to truly let go of what people think of you. But right now, that shit's embedded in your brain. So don't beat yourself up for it. Know that everybody else is insecure. And as long as you're working on yourself, getting more confidence, then you can ascend to the level where you don't care so much about what they think of you. And from not caring what they think of you, you get confidence.

20:49 So knowing that everybody is in this fight with you already makes you feel a little bit more comfortable, right? And you know, like all the presentations that people make to you on Instagram and Facebook, it's all bullshit. I mean, not all of it, but a lot of it is. And you just have to know that it's all contrived. Everybody has issues. Everybody has insecurities. You're not alone in this. So look at the things you are confident in and focus on that. And then once again, know how you'd be if you were fully confident and let that man step into yourself.

21:21 As you step more into your true confidence, the confidence that you were born with before the wave of calamities came and made you insecure, if you could get back to that pure original state by continuing to work on yourself with a few things that I said in this podcast, as well as the myriad of other things I've said in other podcasts, as well as what I will say in future podcasts, then finally you'll be able to step more into your confidence. You'll feel better about who you truly are.

21:50 Once again, you'll be your own hero, not by the result, but by the effort that you're putting in. You look at yourself in the mirror and look in your eyes and say, bro, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you, man. I challenge each and every single one of you guys to look in the mirror tonight in your own eyes for a minute straight and just keep saying, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you, brother. Fucking proud of you, man. Look how far you've come.

22:15 Look what you're doing. You're a fucking warrior. Yeah, you haven't gotten the results that you want, but look, you're still in the fight. You never fucking quit. You didn't bow out. You didn't tap out. You didn't ring that bell. You are never out of the fight. And for that, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you, brother. And you do that over and over again and watch what the confidence does. Watch what your self-esteem does. Watch how you feel about yourself. And then you're going to have a compassion and love for yourself.

22:41 And then when you walk down the street, it's going to be reflected in your body language. Open movements, head held high, chest back, shoulders back, and girls are going to get attracted to you because of it. So this is a step-by-step process, boys. We're all climbing up to the mountain, including me. In fact, you and I are shoulder-to-shoulder climbing up that mountain. Giving each other our hands as we pull each other up, those rock faces. And that's all it is, man. It's just the journey. So look back at how far we've come.

23:09 I'm always looking back at how far I've come. I'm looking in that wind cup. You know, I'm asking people for stuff. I'm putting myself under social pressure. And I'm knowing that everybody is struggling with this. So don't be so fucking hard on yourself, man. You are a champion in the making. And that's all that matters is that you're continuing to climb that mountain and never fucking quitting. For that, you should be your own hero. All right, guys. That's it for me in this podcast. I do appreciate you listening.

23:37 Once again, if you found value in my content, I very much appreciate that review. If you do that review for me, I will give you my coaching business when I am slain in battle. I would also very much appreciate that Instagram follow. And if you can engage with my content, maybe even suggest others follow it. I will get your name tattooed on my neck and a picture of you slapped on the hood of my car. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening. And I will see you in the next episode.

24:03 And I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.