5 Frequently Asked Questions About Women, Dating, and SEX

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. Today we got a long one about the five most typical questions I'm asked as a dating coach and the answers to them. So the first situation, one of the most common, is when she flakes on you for that first date. You guys had the first date all set up.

0:36 She calls you or texts you a couple hours beforehand with some bullshit excuse like she's tired from work, she has a tummy ache, her friend is in a tragedy, her dog has diarrhea, her mom was unceremoniously launched out of a catapult into the sea and she has to go swim two miles out to go grab her so she can't show up to the date tonight. So what you do in that situation is you simply respond with a two-letter word, okay. Okay, so you don't say, okay, I understand, yeah, your dog has diarrhea, your mom got launched out of a catapult, it's the third day of the winter solstice and because of that you're just not in the mood to hang out.

1:16 I totally understand, have a great night, let me know when you want to hang out again and or trying to set up the date again when she flakes on you. No, no, no, no, no, no, boys. You have to understand that in this podcast, as part of the brotherhood, even if you're not part of my coaching program, you're in the brotherhood because you listen to this shit. You are not to be fucked with. You are not to be fucked with and that kind of behavior does not stand.

1:40 So rather than saying, it's okay, I understand, no worries, we'll catch up some other time, fuck that. You say, okay. Why do we say, okay? Because we don't want her to know exactly what we're feeling. We want her questioning, is he pissed? Is he completely okay with it? Does he not give a shit? What's he thinking? And it's a non-reactive reply that shows, okay, whatever, I don't give a shit. I'll just go invite some other person to come with me. Now, you don't say that because if you said that, you'd be a douche.

2:09 And if you react negatively, you totally lose her attraction. So you are unaffected. Okay. And then you don't text her again until she texts you. Now, if you say, okay, which I've done many times, many times after that, she comes and she starts saying, sorry, she starts explaining herself and depending on the situation. For example, if her mom legit died, okay, you wouldn't just say, okay, like, hey, my mom got launched out of a catapult into a bus. The bus launched her into a fucking pool of acid and now she's dying.

2:41 All her skin is off her face. She wouldn't just be like, okay, whatever. No, you're like, hey, listen, I'm sorry to hear that. Go ahead and be with your family. Maybe we'll catch up in about a week or whatever. Okay. So you have to base it on the situation. But if it's the same old bullshit excuse of I have a tummy ache or I was busy at work and I'm just not in the mood, then you just say, okay, if she starts following up and saying, I'm sorry, I hate this.

3:05 I really want to see you. Then you do the no worries, no worries. Take care of your work. No worries. Drink some Imodium AD. No worries. Go take a sailboat and go grab your mom in the ocean. I understand. And then you don't text her again until she starts following up and you're harder to reach. You're harder to gauge. Then what you do is you build it back up again. And as I talked about in the previous episode about how to set up the first date over text, you use my template to do the same thing and set up the date.

3:32 And before that second date happens, you say, hey, listen, my time is valuable as is yours. I just need to make sure that you're not going to flake again. I need the Sarah no flake guarantee. When she gives you that no flake guarantee, boom, you go on the date. Everything is fine. Now let's say she flakes and you say, okay, you don't hear from her for two weeks. Do not follow up. Listen to your uncle Mark saying right now, brother, let me smack you upside the head so hard.

3:58 It knocks the fucking mustache off your best friend's face. Do not follow up with her. You say, okay, she's done. She's next. Next, please. I missed this bus. Let me just take the next one. Okay. If she doesn't follow up, you can wait two to three weeks to send what I call the black hole template, which basically goes like this. I was talking to this cool girl, but I think she got sucked into a black hole. I hope she's okay. Dot, dot, dot. Okay. That will reinitiate the conversation, but do not use that until personally.

4:30 I'll wait a month before I'll use that if she flaked on me. Okay. So when she flakes, you simply text her. Okay. That's the basic premise. Next question I always get asked is what do you do when a girl is like too into you, texting you too much, wanting to hang out more than you want to hang out. Okay. So if you guys have been listening for a long time, you know, I teach this thing called the 80, 100 rule. The 80, 100 rule dictates that you want to see her and or compliment her 80% of what she wants to see you and or is complimenting you or giving you general pulls, meaning wanting to be with you, wanting to talk to you, wanting to build that relationship with you.

5:12 You give her 80% of that. Now let's say she wants to text 10 times a day and you legit do not like texting. You legit do not like talking on the phone. You want to text one time a day. Okay. You should do exactly what the fuck you want to do, which is to text one time a day, but be advised that's going to piss her off. It's going to piss her off. That's why the 80, 100 rule in this example, her wanting to text 10 times a day would put you at eight texts a day.

5:40 But let's say you really don't want to text eight times a day. You want to text two. What I suggest you do is text the two times a day, but if, and when she gets pissed off, you have to talk to her and you do so in a very calm, calibrated way, almost like a father consoling his daughter. And I don't mean to be condescending. That's just the vibe of it. That's the way you do it in a way of frame control and the way of tonality that, Hey, listen, I know you like to text a lot.

6:07 I know that's probably important to you, but I'm going to be honest with you as busy as I am, as many demands as there are on my time, as many people there are pulling me in a million different directions. I only have time and willingness to text twice a day. Listen, I know that's not cool. I wish I could give you more, but I simply can't. So if that's a deal breaker for you, I totally understand. Just let me know and we'll part ways. Okay. So when the girl wants more than you do, preferably you're going to give her 80%.

6:36 That's like the perfect ratio. And frankly, boys, you should be siphoning through girls left and right until you meet a girl who gives you exactly what you want, where your 80% is exactly where you want it to be. For me and my girlfriend, Marissa, she wants to hang out X many times per week. She wants to spend this much time together. And where I land naturally is exactly 80% of what she naturally wants. So therefore it works when you have a girl who wants way more than you do, and you want like 20% of what she wants.

7:08 That girl is simply not compatible for you. So you should nix her because inevitably it's going to get to the point where she's going to get pissed. You're going to get exhausted. She's demanding too much. You're not giving her enough. She's unsatisfied. You're unsatisfied and it blows up. But if you just want to hit it and quit it, date the girl for a couple of months to get some experience. She's hot. And I know how you guys are because I'm the same way. Sometimes we want to rock that program for a couple of weeks or a couple of months.

7:35 You want to land at 80%. If it simply is too much, she's texting you too much, want to talk on the phone, want to hang out too much, and you want to be at anywhere under 80%, my advice is to talk to her about it. Let her know, hey, you know, I understand you want to hang out five days a week. Okay. Honestly, that's way too much for me. As busy as I am, I'm an entrepreneur. I have all these hobbies. I have these goals and ambitions I'm trying to achieve.

8:01 I got to listen to the Unapologetic Man podcast at least an hour a day. I simply don't have the time for this. So if that's a deal breaker for you, I understand. In fact, I would totally support you blowing me off because frankly, you want this much. I don't. Kind of shows me we're not totally compatible. That said, I like you a lot. I love spending time with you. So if you're willing to roll with this program, then that's where we're going to be. Okay. So what it is, is basically like, yo, it's my way or the highway.

8:29 And I'm giving you the option to leave if that's what you want. But Sarah, if you're going to stay, okay? This is subcommunicated, boys. If you're going to stay, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear the complaining. I don't want you crying on my shoulder. I don't want that shit because I told you this is how it is. This is how I am. If that's a deal breaker, kick rocks with your head down. Don't let the door hit you where the Lord split you.

8:52 You'll find a guy who's much more compatible for you. Okay. So that's how you handle that. You do what you want and talk to her. But ideally, it would be 80% of what she wants. Okay. The next question I always get, and this is so annoying, is when a dude gets like hung up on a single girl and she's a fence sitter. She is a fence sitter. Okay. So she's not wanting to go out with you. She's not really texting you. And like, dude, my absolute pet peeve, and if you guys are this guy, please make note of this, is when dudes hire me to get a single girl.

9:23 One nightest, as I call it. You got a girl who's like kind of interested, kind of not. She's like giving you mixed signals. Bro, that girl is not into you. She's on the fence about you. And the more you try to pursue her, the more you try to use these techniques like, Mark, what magic technique can I use? The six magic words to get her off the fence and to jump off and slide right onto my dick. They don't exist. What you do in that situation is pull the fuck back.

9:48 Okay. And this is why I always suggest you have an Instagram page that shows lots of preselection, lots of high value lifestyle, and you connect with girls on your Instagram. Anytime I would meet a new girl, I immediately get the Instagram, even if I have her phone number, because I want her to see my preselected life. I want her to see that I'm high value so that if she's on the fence, not wanting to come out with me, not really replying to my texts. When I send something super funny and rich, she replies back with an LOL or one word answer.

10:20 I pull the fuck back and then I go blast and post on my Instagram with me with other chicks, me leading a high value lifestyle. And I stopped texting her completely. Okay. It's all about reward and punishment with chicks. I'm not condescending to women, but it's a very good example. It's like dog training. Okay. And by the way, if I was ever a coach of women, I'd say the same thing to them. It's like fucking dog training, reward and punishment. You know, girls play games too, boys.

10:45 Girls play games too. And I probably teach girls pretty well too. I don't do it because to me, female psychology is way more interesting, but it's the same shit. They do mixed signals. They fucking play games. So we have to play games harder than they do. We are the unapologetic man team, black and red up in this bitch. And we don't take any shit. We are not to be fucked with. Okay. So when she's ho-hum, oh yeah, no, I can't. Oh, my fucking mom, this my, whatever.

11:11 Goodbye. Peace out. I'm going to blow you out so hard. You're going to fucking get launched off that fence into the field when the concussion hits. Goodbye. See ya. Pull back. Post, post, post to Instagram. Show a high value life. Then what happens? She's going to text you. Hey, what are you doing? How you been? Sell your post. Or she's going to comment on your posts. Then you re-engage. And then if you go for the hangout again and she kind of balks, she kind of makes an excuse, boom, you pull back again.

11:38 Don't text her ass. And even if she texts you, don't text her. Pull back, pull back. And then you know what? If she keeps doing this shit where she doesn't want to hang out, she's kind of on the fence, what she is is a validation seeker. She just wants your attention. She just wants to feel sexy. And she wants to be that number one girl in your life. So if she balks any more than one time to me, I say this. Hey, listen, I want to hang out with you.

12:02 Talking to you over text is fine, but that's not why I'm here. I want to get to know you. If you're not willing to do that, then we are parting ways right now. What do you want to do? Oh, no, I'm sorry. I've just been busy. Okay, cool. We locked down the time. And I need your Sarah guarantee. Just like I said previously, boys, I need the Sarah guarantee that you're not going to flake because my time is valuable just like yours is. So sometimes, boys, when they're on the fence and I don't know, sometimes you just got to hit them with it.

12:27 Look, we are hanging out or we are not talking anymore. We are becoming strangers unless we hang out. It's up to you. What do you want to do? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, let's hang out. Okay, no. But I need that guarantee from you. My time is extremely valuable. Are you going to show up? Yes. Do you promise? Yes. Do you promise? Promise? Yes. Okay, cool. What's your week looking like? Boom, boom, boom. Set it up like that. Fence sitters, pull back, pull back, pull back, pull back.

12:53 And some of you guys are like, yeah, but no, do not argue with me. I know what the fuck I'm talking about. Pull back, bro, tendo, because that shit works, bro-tator cuff. You got to trust your Uncle Mark Singh. All right, next one is what if you say something and she gets butt hurt? What if you're joking with her? You're sarcastic. You do as I always like to do and bust their chops, make fun of them. Sometimes it goes too far. And I'll admit, even sometimes I am miscalibrated.

13:20 If you guys think I succeed on every single set, everything goes perfect for me, you are wrong, man. I make mistakes too. I fuck up. But when I fuck up, I'm smart because I know when to get real and when to apologize. As I always tell you guys, 80% of that first conversation is fucking around, busting her chops, getting her frustrated, keeping her entertained. But it's always that frustrated, entertained where you're kind of teasing her a little bit, breaking rapport, as I recently spoke about. Well, sometimes, invariably, you say something and she gets butt hurt.

13:52 And oftentimes it's like out of nowhere, you think it's so innocuous and the next thing you know, she's mad. Why is she mad? Because her dad used to say that. Her ex-boyfriend used to say that. Or, and let's not forget, boys, she hasn't worked on herself. She's a human being too. She hasn't worked on herself in this way where she still has trigger words and things that hurt her, right? And you're like, oh my hell, really? That hurt you? Jesus Christ, harden the fuck up, lady.

14:17 But at the same time, we have compassion. And we talk to her, like I always say, a soccer coach talks to his 13-year-old girl on his soccer team. Hey, Kelly, I understand you missed that goal. I know that really sucks. Talk to me. What's going on? And that's the way you approach her. You say, hey, listen, I can tell that kind of made you upset. I didn't realize that that kind of sarcasm would have that effect on you. So I'm going to go ahead and not say that again.

14:41 I'm going to kind of curtail that kind of teasing. And let's move forward as friends. What do you say? Okay, so you do as I do. And about 30% of the time, it blows up in my face where I say, do you like to travel? She says, yes. And then I push her by the arm and I say, travel over there. Okay, 70% of the time, girls get super attracted, hit me on the arm. I'm getting laid right there. Like if you want something where the girl jumps in the air and slides onto your dick, that's the one right there, my dude.

15:07 But we're always gambling. We're always playing with fire. So if I do that, do you like to travel? Yes, I do. Travel over there and she gets mad, which happens, you know, I'd say about three out of 10 chicks. And really, that's going to make you mad? Come on, bro. Like harden the fuck up. Like let's not take life so seriously here. But when they get mad, I'll be like, hey, listen, come here. I didn't realize that that would make you mad. I'm just teasing you. You know, that's my sense of humor.

15:33 Obviously, I'm going to not do things like that moving forward. So what do you say? Let's keep talking. Okay, I just don't like it because like my dad did things to me like that or my brother or like my friends or whatever. And in a way, I have compassion for that because she hasn't arrived to the point where she's worked on it and overcome it. And honestly, I feel it's her issue because if you get offended by anything that anybody does, that's you, bro. It's not the person who did it to you.

15:59 You have an issue. Anything that makes you mad, anything that gets a rise out of you, you need to focus on that and say, okay, here's an issue. Here's a belief system, an attitude, a trauma that I haven't worked on. So I need to address it like a fucking man addresses it. But when a girl does it, you're not going to be like, yo, you need to harden the fuck up, you stupid ass bitch. Come on, dude. Don't be such a pussy. Don't hyperextend your vagina, you fucking wuss.

16:23 Don't say that to him. Okay? You got to be compassionate because you don't know. You know, we don't know what her experience is. Maybe something super traumatic happened to her that reminded her of that when you did it. So you need to be compassionate and see it from her shoes and then explain it, like I said, almost like a father to his daughter, very consoling, very real, very mature, and very compassionate. And that goes a really long way. And guys, you know, this is called the Unapologetic Man Podcast.

16:51 But when I fuck up, particularly with women, with business, if, for example, you have a breakthrough session with me and like I forget to email you something, which almost never happens because my business is strung tight as a drum. But in the instance where I make a mistake, I will apologize. You know, the Unapologetic Man Podcast doesn't mean to never apologize. It means to not apologize for things that you didn't do wrong, which is simply being who you are. But if you screw up, if you get in a car accident, it's your fault.

17:21 Yeah. Be like, hey, I'm sorry. And do it mature, not supplicating, but coming from a higher place of maturity where you're taking responsibility, responding with ability to your mistake and saying, hey, I apologize. And I will do that even to women when they get butter. If I feel that it's justified and not overreacting and I don't even have to apologize to explain to them that, hey, I'm not going to do that anymore. Because obviously you get negatively affected by it. Let's move on as adults and I'll prevent doing that moving forward.

17:53 By the way, boys, quick side note, don't get butthurt about anything a girl does. If you do, you are pissing on the fire of attraction. It is gone. If you get butthurt and emotional and you're triggered by certain things a woman says, attraction's gone. So keep that in mind moving forward. All right. Next thing is called last minute resistance. What do I do, Mark? When I'm trying to hook up with the girl and she says no. Okay. What do I always say, boys? Pull back. Right.

18:21 Make it your idea. Make it no big deal. And honestly, close the door on her from that point forward. If, and this almost never happens to me because I'm not pushy and I can read women and you will too if you get the right training. If a woman is kind of resistant towards me, I take that resistance and make it my own. For example, if she says we're not having sex tonight, I make that my idea. I say, you know what? I was going to say that, but I didn't really think the timing was right yet.

18:48 But yeah, absolutely. I need trust, comfort, and connection first before I go there. So I'm glad you mentioned it. Okay. So I'm kind of like taking her idea. I'm making it my own and I'm saying I agree with it. You guys are hooking up on the couch and she starts kind of shutting down. You should, first of all, sense that well before she has to like take your hand off her lap or something like that. You should sense it. But if she does that, I'll be like, you know what?

19:13 You're right. It's way too early for this. Here, let me get you a glass of water and then I'll fucking send her home. Okay. And most of the time I will pull the sex away before she can. Okay. So I ramp it up, ramp it up when she's really hot and raring to go, I'll pull it away and I'll say, you know what? This is moving really fast. Let's go ahead and grab you an Uber and let's catch up. Relationships that start fast and fast. So let's go ahead and take our time.

19:37 I almost never get last minute resistance because I'm always the one that pushes it away on a high note. And this is female psychology 101. I want you guys to do this in every respect when it comes to women. On a high note, take it away. When you're talking to them, when you're making out with them, when you're on the date with them, when you're texting with them. On that high note, you disappear. Always leave them wanting more. Okay. So last minute resistance, they have certain techniques like the freeze out.

20:06 You're making out with her. You know, the bra comes out. You're trying to like go down on her and she pushes you away. Then you like kind of lose interest. You kind of do something else and then you ramp it up again. But like I said, I like to do that before she can. Okay. And a lot of times I'll do what I call starts and stops. I'll be making out with her getting really hot and I'll be like, yo, we should slow down. Let me get you some water.

20:27 We kind of chill for a while. We're kind of watching a movie and then it'll ramp up again, ramp up, get really hot, take it away, kind of slow it down. Then again and again. And as you get her up that mountain, the resistance or possible resistance goes down little by little to which you could usually hit it before she tells you, you can't because you're ramping it up and getting her attracted by doing takeaways. By ramping it up, take away on a high note, ramping it up, take it away on a high note.

20:55 And like I said, you want to do this generally with women across all platforms, across all different avenues of your seduction processes. All right. What do you do when she tries to make you jealous? When she talks about other guys, you get excited about it. You want to know more about it. I had a client ask me this recently. What do you do when she talks about other dudes? You get excited just as I do when Marissa gets hit on by different dudes. Marissa was just hit on by a guy at the gas station a couple of days ago.

21:24 And I was like, yeah, dude, what did he say? I was like super interested, super excited because, and I'm not even faking it, boys. In my opinion, it's a compliment. Guys are hitting on my girlfriend. That means she's hot. It's a compliment to me. I'm not threatened by it. If she starts talking about how a dude wants to take her out, you say, dude, you should go. He has a Porsche. Oh my God. You should definitely go on that date. In fact, can I come? Do you think he would let me come too?

21:48 And she sees that you're not threatened by it because you think rationally holding onto a woman, being jealous, trying to prevent her from going on dates or talking to other dudes is going to work. It actually has the opposite effect. You're pushing her into the arms of other dudes. So what you want to do is show that you're unaffected by it. In fact, you're complimented by it and you're entertained by it and you want more of it. I literally, guys, and I'm not lying. I literally love it when dudes sweat my girlfriend, when they hit on her, even when dudes are doing campaigns on her, like at work.

22:21 I'm like, oh, that dude likes you. She's like, no, he doesn't. I'm like, Marissa, I'm Mark Singh here. Like, I know what the fuck I'm talking about. This guy would not be doing this thing if you were fat and ugly. Don't you agree? She's like, yeah, I guess I do. Yeah, he's trying to get in with you, which is awesome. What a compliment to me. And that's the way you take it. Anytime a woman tries to make you jealous, you do the opposite of what she wants.

22:43 Now, what is she trying to do? She's trying to make you jealous to get you more attracted to her, isn't she? So when you show her it has the opposite effect, that it actually makes you excited and you love hearing about it, she's not going to do it anymore because it's not getting that negative means to a positive end that in her female mind, she's justifying doing it in an attempt to make happen. That was a crazy good sentence. Okay. So she's trying to get you more attracted to her by making you jealous.

23:12 You show that you're not jealous, but in fact, entertained by it. It's going to stop. It's going to stop immediately. And it makes you look more attractive because you're securing yourself. Gangster way to play it. All right. And the final question, boys, I know a lot of you guys are thinking about it is how do I start getting good with women? How do I start getting this part of my life solved? Because you're right, Mark. It's Thanksgiving. I'm thinking about the new year. I'm not where I want to be.

23:35 Things aren't working out the way I want them to be. I'm embarrassed maybe a little bit in front of my parents. I'm lying to them that everything is going great when in fact it isn't. How do I get started? All I want you to do is start going out there and talking to people, including women. Do approach and eject. Okay. You're just talking, asking a quick question, then getting out of there. If you open 20 girls a week, systematically ramping up the challenge by systematically approaching hotter girls, staying in conversations longer, you will start to get comfortable in uncomfortable situations of talking to hot girls where you could just be normal.

24:13 Your objective, brother, is to be as normal talking to a hot girl as you are sitting here listening to this podcast. Okay. Right now, a lot of you guys are in a safe place. Okay. You're driving. Maybe you're at the gym. Maybe you're taking a walk. You're commuting. Whatever you're doing, I can almost guarantee you have comfortable body language. You're yourself. Maybe your feet are up on the desk. You're eating some chips. You're chilled out. That's the way you want to be in front of girls when talking to them.

24:39 It's just that simple. If you could get comfortable, if you could be confident, if you could not rush your opening line, not feel insecure, not get stifled, just be totally yourself. As yourself as you are right now, listen to this podcast. You will get them attracted to you. How do you do that? By talking to them, approaching them, stacking with them, getting into as many goddamn conversations as you can. Once you get 20, 40, 60, 80, 100 conversations under your belt with a variety of different women, systematically getting hotter and hotter as you talk to them, you will reach a point where I'm at where you're totally comfortable.

25:21 Your body language is as comfortable as mine and yours is right now as I'm saying this podcast and you're listening to it. That's the secret. How do you get good with women? Get comfortable in front of them. Be unapologetic in front of them. Be confident in front of them. Don't be stifled. Don't be supplicating to them, placating to them, but instead be totally yourself and unapologetically so. That's how you get good with women. Then I teach you the skill set of what to talk about, teach you about how to ramp up attraction, sexual tension, get a phone number, what to text, how to get the first date, what to do on the first date, how to sexually escalate, everything that I include in my three-month coaching program, but the first step, boys, the one that most of you have the biggest problem with is simply being comfortable talking to girls.

26:11 How do you do that? 20 girls a week, open and eject, just as simple as that. Don't get phone numbers. Don't try to get anything from her. Instead, give her good energy. Go up feeling your heart, feeling good inside yourself. Give a nice compliment. Give good energy to her. Not spazzy, but instead relaxed and confident and congruent with who you are, which you'll get to with practice. When you do that, you will not believe the kind of shit that will happen. You'll be like Jesse yanking phone numbers from two tens in that New York City steakhouse.

26:43 And you know, in New York City steakhouse, these chicks were probably so full of themselves. So arrogant. So, uh-uh. Don't want to talk to you. But my boy, Jesse, you are a legend. You rolled up on him, got the number. Why was Jesse able to do this? Because he was in week six, opening 20 girls a week. That's 120 girls. There you have it. If you're wondering, how can I get where Jesse is? Just open and eject. Now, of course, you don't have the same luxury that Jesse has, which is to get my NLP reprogramming, which is a gigantic part of getting this part of your life settled.

27:15 But even just opening and ejecting will get you better with women. And it's all about just being comfortable, congruent in your own skin. That's all it is. All right, gentlemen, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. So make sure to stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.