How to Make GUY FRIENDS And How to Find a WINGMAN

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today we are going to talk about how to make guy friends and also how to meet a new wingman that you can go get women with. Now, I don't know about you, but I always found it hard to make friends because I would always move to new locations.

0:38 I've lived all over the world. I lived in Japan. I lived in Hawaii, California, Arizona, and now finally Colorado, which is my permanent residence. I'll never move away from here because I love it so much. But it was always difficult for me to make new friends when I would move to new locations. And I remember specifically a lot of different times when I would be extremely lonely when I would move to these new locations. And I'd get a lot of girls because, you know, I had a lot of game, but meeting guys was always something that was very difficult for me.

1:10 And it's kind of like, how do you approach a dude and say, hey, you want to be friends? Oftentimes you can kind of come off as a creeper. You can come off a little bit too thirsty, too needy. A lot like women, right? Like if we're too forward and we do it kind of in the wrong way, we can come off very creepy and kind of creep dudes out. There's nothing creepier than meeting a new dude. And he's like, hey, bro, give me your phone number.

1:33 We'll hang out sometime. And you're like, ah, yeah. All right, bro. And it's like, how do you deal with those situations? So I want to talk about not only ways that I found to meet new guy friends, but also kind of how to go about it so you don't creep them out in the process. And also how to screen for dudes who you actually want to bring into your life, because much like women, and coincidentally, I'm going to drop an episode on Thursday about how to screen for girls, how to be the prize.

2:00 But a lot like women, you know, there's a lot of dudes who just simply won't make the cut. They don't share the same attitudes. They don't share the same values. They may not be into the same kind of things that you're into. And it's like, damn, you get into these situations with these guys and you're like, fuck, dude, I got this guy now who I don't know how to get rid of. So that's what we're going to talk about in this episode. Before I jump into the content, I want to thank you guys yet again.

2:25 I want to give you a big salute. Rear Admiral Anal Peterson saluting you off the stern of the ship for those awesome, spectacular, amazing reviews that you guys have been leaving. Seriously, thank you so much. You know who you are. I honestly salute you. I read every single one. And for those of you who have emailed me, I always reply back with a couple of programs, a couple of videos, a smack on the ass, tell you you're a champion, tell you that songs will be written about you that will be sung around campfires for generations to come.

2:54 And you guys check out those reviews specifically on iTunes. There's a lot of really good feedback, not only about the podcast itself, but also my three month coaching program. I'm finding that clients who have graduated through the program are actually going to iTunes and leaving reviews to let you guys know that my program is legit. It really gets the results. And if you even need more proof of that, go to my website, CoachMarkSingh.com. Click on coaching, read the 600,000, 300,444 million reviews that are left on there.

3:24 I actually just added another batch of them onto there. So if you haven't seen those, go ahead and check those out. Real testimonials from real clients who are getting real results. So anyway, for you guys who have left reviews, I salute you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. If you want to leave me a review, email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com. Once again, that's CoachMarkSingh, M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G at gmail.com. And I will send you a bunch of cool shit. Seriously, guys, thank you so much for the support.

3:53 I just found out that this podcast is in the top 1%. I achieved my goal, brothers, getting this podcast to the top 1% worldwide. There are literally millions of podcasts out there and this bad boy is in the top 1% because of you guys who keep coming back, keep leaving reviews, keep supporting me in my mission to make you an alpha male who is confident, masculine, and highly attractive to women. So let's talk about being highly attractive to men. Kind of a strange segue there, but let's go ahead and keep that in there.

4:24 So here's what you do, bro. It's very fucking simple. And it took me a long time to figure this out. But here is the answer to make unlimited guy friends. Do you know what it's all about? It's all about hobbies. Hobbies, hobbies, hobbies, hobbies. Getting yourself out there, doing things that are fun, and then inevitably you meet dudes who are into the same stuff. I'm talking surfing, snowboarding, baseball, basketball, soccer, anything with the ball in it. Rock climbing, skydiving, scuba diving, riding motorcycles, driving RC cars, playing board games, whatever the fuck you're into, video games, whatever it is.

5:01 There is a way to meet other guys who are into that too. And already right off the bat, if you guys are into the same hobbies, you already have a commonality, which makes it a lot easier to become friends. So every time I would move to a new city, I would immediately get into some kind of new hobby. For example, when I first came to Colorado, I got a street bike, a crotch rocket. I got an R6, it's a Yamaha 600cc, and I joined a group called NoCo Bike Life, which is Northern Colorado Bike Life.

5:29 And I met like 60 dudes in there. Most of the guys I didn't really jive with, you know, that's just how it is. You're not going to jive with every single person you meet. But I met my best friend in that group. And to this day, we're still really good friends. We go hunting together. He's just a good fucking dude. He's actually a handyman, and he comes over and he fixes my house sometimes, and we hang out, and he has his family, and I have mine, and we're just great friends.

5:52 And we used to ride together in that bike life group, and we just hit it off. You know, we found we were into the same things. He was really gregarious, just a really cool guy. And like, when we would ride together, we would always tell each other like, yo, let's just take it slow. We're just going to chill out. And then inevitably, we'd be going like 150 down the freeway, passing each other. This one time, I was going like 120 down this road, this like back road in the country.

6:17 And I was cruising, and I'm like flying, and suddenly, this dude just passes me at like 160 on his R1, which is a 1,000cc liter bike is what they're called. He just passes right by me. I was like, oh my God, dude, this guy's crazy. I love this guy. And we've become close ever since. I also met a lot of friends through a part-time job that I had. As some of you guys know, I was a bouncer in Colorado for a few years. I was a bouncer at a cowboy bar, and I met a lot of really good friends through that.

6:46 So it's all about activities. You got to put yourself out there and get into what interests you the most, and then start kind of meeting people. Now, here's a few warnings I want to say about some things that dudes have done wrong when trying to become my friend. Okay? So when I get into a hobby, if they come on too strong and want to hang out when there's not really a good reason to hang out, and we really haven't built that rapport, then it's always a little bit weird to me, and I think they're being thirsty, and I want nothing to do with them.

7:16 So we have to really understand that friendships that develop organically are the ones that last. Organically means it takes more than just a few hangouts. So if you go, let's just say you're into rock climbing, okay, you go to a new rock climbing gym, maybe you join like a rock climbing club. If you meet a dude who kind of meets all your qualifications on paper, he seems like a good guy, he's in shape, maybe he's good with girls, maybe he makes good money, whatever your standards are, that by the way, you should list out like, what do I want in a friend?

7:46 For me, for example, he has to be positive. He has to be honest. Be a man of his word, be easy to laugh, have a good time, and I don't want like a Debbie Downer, right? So that's like really my standards, and it takes some time to filter through guys who don't meet your standards, and you don't want to come on too strong when you think like this guy meets your standards in the first day that you meet him and be like, hey, bro, like why don't you give me your number?

8:10 We'll hang out sometime, because he's going to automatically think like, why? Because most people who you meet, they haven't been traveling. They have enough friends. They're not really trying to make new friends. Like for me, I have enough friends. Like I'm not really trying to make new friends, but if somebody were to try to slip into my life, they would do it via campaign. Multiple touches over several weeks, maybe even several months. We become close organically. It just works. And there's something to be said about females too.

8:40 Like we want to go out there and meet tons of chicks, and I teach guys how to cycle through lots of different women, but there's something to say about somebody who you just click with, and that kind of shit can't be faked. It can't be forced. And if you try to force it in the way of asking for his phone number too quickly, when you guys haven't really developed that rapport yet, it comes off as creepy. It comes off as thirsty. It comes off as socially miscalibrated.

9:06 So let it develop organically. And that's what's great about hobbies is usually you'll do it on the same night, week after week. You guys will start to get deeper into some of your beliefs, attitudes, like what you do for a living. And you want to be chill. You want to be standoffish. You want to give value just like we do with girls. Leave them on a high note. Don't be too thirsty. And then when something organic comes up, say for example, you are into street bikes and you are in this like street bike based club, or even a rock climbing club, a scuba diving club, a surfing club, a fly fishing club, whatever you're into.

9:40 Okay. So say you guys are doing it and you guys click and it seems like it's going pretty well. And you're a little bit reluctant to ask for the phone number, right? What you do is ask for it where it's necessary to contact him about something. Say for example, and this happens to me a lot, I'll like hire somebody to fix something for me in that realm or hire somebody to do an oil change on my bike, whatever. Then that would necessitate us exchanging phone numbers.

10:05 I don't look creepy. We have numbers. And then I may text them a couple of weeks later and say, Hey, are you going to this event? Yeah, bro. You want to ride down together? Cool. I'll come to your place. I'll meet you there. And then you ride down together. So it's like this organic thing that develops without you being thirsty and without you being pushy. So to reiterate, it's all about hobbies, whatever you're into, go do that in a public type setting because you're going to meet dudes who are into the same stuff that you are.

10:31 And even hobbies that seem like nothing that you'd really want to do, but you're still interested in them. You'd be surprised. You'll meet some good dudes in them. One of the most random hobbies that I'm into right now. And by the way, I cycle through hobbies super quickly. Like I'll get really into things for like six months and then I'll be completely out of it. I did that with downhill mountain biking. I did that with fly fishing. I did that with soccer. I did that with a myriad of different things.

10:56 And right now, do you guys know what drifting is? It's like drifting, cars drifting. I'm really into drifting. I like to go to drifting events. I want to get into drifting myself. But right now, and this is a little bit cheesy and hokey, but it's so fun and it's such a great way for me to just unwind. And I've met a lot of cool dudes doing it is I'm into remote control car drifting. That's right, boys. Remote control car drifting. I never knew the shit existed.

11:22 I was watching some drifting videos, formula drift. And then there was this video suggested video RC drifting. I was like, what the fuck is this? So I research it. I find this place in Denver called Scale Science. I would love it if you guys could support this place because I'm a big supporter of Scale Science in Denver. And these dudes like race RC drifting cars on the weekends, right? So on Friday nights, I go down to Scale Science and I drift RC cars with these really cool guys, like super nice guys.

11:49 And they're usually like stoners. Stoners are really into this thing. It's pretty funny. But we all drift together. I've made a couple friends doing that. It's like meditation. I can just sit there for six hours driving this fucking thing around a track and like not have one thought, which is why I think people really like it and why it's growing so quickly. This shit's like really big. Like in Los Angeles, they have like events and like championships and shit. It's amazing the kind of shit that people will get into.

12:14 I mean, even like board games like Dungeons and Dragons and World of Warcraft and all that stuff, like there's probably championships for that and championships for video games and championships for rock climbing stuff. And there's always events. When I was really into surfing, they used to have tons of surfing competitions. I was really into racquetball for a long time there and there was like racquetball stuff. There's always something. So whatever you're into, get into that. Really meet a lot of guys. Don't be pushy. Run a campaign on a dude.

12:44 Make sure you click with them. He meets all your qualifications and then organically let it develop where you guys exchange numbers. Next thing you know, your friends and you guys are hanging out outside of whatever hobby you happen to be doing. Now I want to talk about how to meet a good wingman. So wingmen are really easy to meet because you simply watch which guys are extremely successful with women when you go out to the bars and the nightclubs. Now meeting a wingman who also does cold approach or day game, as we call it, which is like gaming girls at the supermarket, outdoor malls next to college campuses in Target, Walmart, wherever you happen to be is a little bit more difficult.

13:24 So every time I met a wingman, it was always in a bar or a nightclub. How did I do it? Well, I would watch him killing it with girls. I'd be killing it with girls too. And we would just kind of notice each other. And eventually I'd go up, introduce myself and say, hey, brother, I noticed you're doing pretty well. Do you study this shit? Usually they do. We'll talk about some similar dating coaches that we both know, like Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics. Ask him if he's read the game by Neil Strauss.

13:49 Most people have. And then now we're on the same level, right? We're really into getting girls. Then maybe I'll do a campaign on him. I won't snag his number right off the bat, but I'll know that, yeah, okay, he comes to this bar district on Friday and Saturday nights. I'll probably run into him a couple times over the next few months. Maybe I'll bring girls over to him, introduce them to my girlfriends, which is huge because now you're giving value. And that's another point, boys. You always want to give value.

14:15 You want to be charismatic and take it away before they get sick of you. Don't try to take from them, but instead give to them, give them advice, give them a compliment, give them good energy, just like we do with women. Build rapport with the guy. We see each other killing it. And then inevitably, man, you're going to be like, yo, let's go out sometime, man. Let's kill this together. And then suddenly you have a wingman who's also really good with women. One side note to this, don't have a wingman that sucks with women.

14:42 He's just going to kill your game. I talk about this all the time, but a lot of you guys try to make your best friend who's a good dude, but who's bad with women into your wingman. That's a bad idea. This whole dating thing should be its own realm. And you have friends in that dating space who you wing with. You should also make sure he has honor. He's not going to try to snag a girl off of you who you are trying to get, right?

15:07 The guy who first approaches is the guy who has his pick of the litter, and that's the rule. So he has honor. He's a good dude. He's not going to put girls before you. He's not going to stab you in the back just to get himself laid. And this is hard to find. It's hard to find really good dudes who have the same moral compass as you do, but they are out there. And they are found in the exact environments that you want to team up with them in to get good at, such as bars and nightclubs.

15:34 So it's very simple. Watch for the dudes who are doing really well with women. And you can tell, like, just like women can tell an attractive guy, we can tell an attractive guy. He's got good body language. He's charismatic. He's the guy whose voice you could probably hear from across the room when he's talking in a group. He's just outspoken and really good with women, very clearly good with women. Then what you want to do is perhaps show him value, that you're good with women too, introduce yourself, maybe compliment him.

16:03 Hey, bro, I noticed you're doing really good. I noticed you were talking to that one girl, and that one thing you did was awesome. And you'd be like, really? You saw that? Yeah, I did. And that you guys just jive, because it's so important that you just jive with the person. And again, going back to women, when we're trying to meet our future wife, it's not just that she's hot. There also is something to be said about just clicking with somebody, just having the same personality, the same jokes, the same attitudes.

16:28 That takes a long time to find, not only with women, but with guys too. But I'm telling you, hobbies is the way to find those friends. And then going out to the bars and the nightclubs is the way to find wingmen. So fucking effective. So boys, I hope this helps you. You know, for me, it took me a while to figure this out for some reason, but I would keep getting into hobbies and somehow my friends would come out of that. And finally, it occurred to me, oh, this is a good way to backwards engineer the whole system in order to make friends.

16:58 So it's all about hobbies, hobbies, hobbies. And like I said, even if you're kind of lazy and you're not into a lot of stuff, like you can find something that gets you excited. I mean, for me, right? RC drifting, I never would have thought I would like that shit. And the first time I saw it, I thought it was kind of cheesy, but I was like, hey, this looks pretty fun. I'm going to go check it out. I rented a car, really liked it. And now I do it pretty much every Friday night.

17:23 So like Thursday nights and Saturday nights, I'll go out. And then Friday nights is just guy time. Like I talked about in that marble episode, I did about 25% of your marbles, the yellow marbles should be you time. That's my Friday nights. So I go drifting. It's super meditative. I've met lots of really cool guys, just really good fucking dudes who go there. And it's guys just like you and me. There's older dudes. There's younger dudes. There's every shade and socioeconomic position possible to which you talk to them.

17:54 You see who you drive with. And eventually you just make friends. You guys exchange numbers. I've even traveled with these guys. We went to Phoenix recently to like this place called Tandem RC. Like it's crazy how big these hobbies can get. And like guys are literally traveling together to go do these things. But that's fun, man. And again, in life, you have to have fun. You have to have hobbies. You have to unwind. And I'm telling you, hobbies is a great way to make friends. If you want to make friends with me, if you want to talk with me, see if we jive, I'd love to get on a call with you.

18:25 I have a free breakthrough session where you and I jump on Zoom together. And it's the same thing. If I feel that we jive, which I do with a lot of guys, and I have a feeling if you like my podcast, I'd probably like you too. Because right there, we have similar personalities. We have similar interests. We have similar senses of humor. If you like my content, a lot of times when I meet guys, I'm like talking to my own best friend that's halfway across the world.

18:48 I've never met him before. And here he is right on Zoom. And sometimes, I'm going to be honest with you, I don't jive with guys. And you know what? That's okay. It's nothing against them. It's nothing against me. There's lots to be said about just clicking with somebody. It's so important just to click with them. But again, man, you know, if you like this podcast, if you jive with me, I know I'll like you too. So let's get on that call together. Go to my website right now, CoachMarkSingh.com.

19:13 Click on coaching. Hit the red button. Fill in the super short application. I will get notified that you've applied. I will email you. You and I will email a little bit back and forth to make sure that you're potentially a good fit for my three-month coaching program. If that all looks good, I'll send you my schedule. We'll get on the call together. And I've actually met some friends through the coaching program. I feel like I'm friends with all my veterans. I still email with them, talk to them in the Brotherhood Facebook group.

19:40 Those guys who have been through my program, they're friends for life. They really are. And if you're listening, brother, you are friends for life, man. Thank you for trusting in me. We have many laps around the track to come, and brother, I am looking forward to it. So to the rest of you guys, thank you for listening. If you don't want to sign up with me, that's okay. But a review would be very much appreciated. I have another awesome podcast dropping on Thursday, so please stay tuned for the next one.

20:04 And I will see you in the next episode. Bye-bye. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.