5 Frustrating Traits I Always Notice of Guys Who DON'T GET GIRLS

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me. My name is Mark Sing, and I am an NLP dating coach. For those of you who don't know, NLP means Neuro Linguistic Programming. I'm going to get in the head of yours and make you feel like an absolute champion. And time and time again, boys, I get on these calls with these guys, these prospects that want to get into my coaching program, and I'm seeing so many qualities, not only with these dudes who I meet with, but just in day-to-day society, that I feel it's my job as your podcast host, as your coach, to help you identify these things within yourself.

0:54 Now, listen, I had all these as well, specifically in my 20s, and they can be overcome. So if I say something that kind of gets you butthurt, well, first of all, you should know that if you get butthurt easily, if you get offended easily, that's one of the qualities. But if you feel offended, that's okay. And just realize that you have that thing because oftentimes awareness alone is curative. So let's be completely real with ourselves. Be honest with both yourself and me, and you'll be able to get past this because it's my responsibility, man.

1:26 Sometimes to be your mentor, I have to be your tour mentor, and it's a big responsibility being your podcast host and your coach. It's kind of like being the head of sanitation at Burning Man. Okay? And I want to help you get the skills to attract the kind of woman that makes you drop to your knees and thank God you're a man. So I want to help you do that today. So let's just be open. Let's be humble. And let's admit that a lot of us do these things.

1:51 And let's get rid of this shit, man, because it's bad out there, boys. It's bad. All the femininity, pussification of the American male and the English male, Canadian male, Australian male, and every other male out there. It's bad out there. It's my job as the unapologetic man to help you ascend this because I'm unapologetic and I'm not going to apologize to you about it. But I want you to flex up. Don't take this shit personally and realize that you can get better, which I think you'll agree with me is a really good thing.

2:20 Before I jump into those five traits, and of course, boys, I always over deliver. So I'm actually going to give you seven traits. Want to read yet another testimonial from a fucking champion who just graduated my program. This guy, when he first contacted me, I was like, bro, you probably get more ass than a toilet seat already. What's going on with you? And he's like, I know, man, but I just want to bring it up to the next level. And I was like, respect for that.

2:44 I really respect the guy who's already good with women who wants to get even better. And I respect the guy who can listen to an episode like this one and say to himself, you know, I think I might do one of those seven things and admit that to himself and work to improve it. So this is from my boy, Jared. What is up, Jared? Here's his testimonial. Mark, Jared N here. And I just wanted to say thank you for all your energy, hard work, and wisdom you selflessly gave me and every other guy in your program over the last three months I was with you.

3:13 I expected to go through change, but I didn't expect what actually happened. Consistent dates, a steady trading of the paint, if you will, with several eights and above, and most importantly, personal growth. And personal growth is in all caps. He goes on to say, and I believe this is towards you guys, you will have a lot of success here. You will fail along the way. And most importantly, you will experience mass amounts of personal development and growth here. It's challenging. It's exciting. It works. And biggest of all, it's a shit ton of fun.

3:46 Thank you so much for that, Jared. You are an absolute legend. Trading paint with eights and above. I know a lot of you boys want to do that. So let's identify these five plus, probably more like seven different traits that I noticed time and time again in guys who don't get girls. Okay. First of all, guys who don't get girls are super agreeable. They agree with everything. They don't want to rock the boat. They have a metaprogram in their head, which is probably given to them by their parents that you shouldn't be disagreeable.

4:18 Don't rock the boat. Don't inconvenience others. Don't bother people. You want to have smooth sailing. You don't want to ruffle any feathers, piss in anybody's river, or goddamn launch a rope of diarrhea into their morning coffee. That is definitely not what you want to do. But when you become an unapologetic man, an attractive man, you're honestly not afraid to be disagreeable, but you're not a dick about it, right? You're just disagreeable when someone's dicking you around. Whereas guys who are unattractive, it's like they'll get dicked around and be a floor mat just because they don't want to be disagreeable.

4:49 And there's the difference is, are you a floor mat to people? Do you bend over backwards to people? Does everybody say, oh, you're so nice? Or do girls friendzone you and say, oh, Carl, you're such a nice guy. I just, I just love you so much, but I don't see you that way. The infinite Carl in the friendzone prison, dude, never to escape. Or friendzone Freddy, needy Ned, and agreeable Andy. These are the types of dudes who you don't want to be. The second thing I noticed about guys who don't get girls is they have high voices.

5:22 And you know who has a high voice? It's right, yours truly. But you can tell by my tonality that I have a strong frame, that I'm willing to lead, that I'm a leader of men. Now, it doesn't matter so much about the tone of your voice, whether it's deep or it's high. It's the pitch of it, the way it's delivered to women as well as men. So the biggest difference that I noticed, and you guys who have been listening for a long time, hopefully you can predict what I'm about to say, and you guys in my coaching program, if you don't know what I'm about to say, man, smack yourself upside the head so hard your fucking eyeball shoots out of your head.

5:56 Okay? It's about the delivery towards the end of the sentence. Guys who are bad with women go up at the end of their sentences. Hey, how are you today? Guys who are good with women go down at the end of their sentences. Hey, what's up? How are you doing today? Now, sometimes invariably, you have to ask a question where it kind of goes up at the end, but it's different and it's really hard to explain, but we can sense it as human beings. It's like the tonality goes down, but the pitch goes up or vice versa.

6:21 I don't really know how to explain it, but basically you have an authoritative voice. So as long as you perceive yourself to be an authoritative position, and yes, that means when you're speaking to a woman, you literally think that she has a lower social value than you do. And I'm not saying she's less than you. I'm not saying women are less than men. That's not what I'm fucking saying. So don't misinterpret that and email me some rage induced email about how I'm degrading to women. I'm not.

6:55 I'm just saying that when you speak to them, you have to lead them. The person who's the leader has a higher perceived social value, both in his eyes, as well as the eyes of the other person. So when speaking to a woman, imagine that you're up here and she's kind of down here just from a social standing and your voice goes from up where you're at to down where she's at. If you think you're a seven and you're talking to a nine, you're going to perceptually see her as above you and your voice will go from lower to upper.

7:23 Thus, you will have a high voice. So guys who are bad with women always speak like that. I hear it in their voices. They're super agreeable and they have that lower to upper kind of tonality or pitch. I don't know the right verbatim when it comes to these linguistic type terms, but I think you guys know what I'm saying. Okay. Is do I feel like an authority when I'm speaking to this person or do I feel this person is above me? Now, when I go talk to people, such as if you and I get on a call together, I'm not going to be degrading to you.

7:52 I'm not going to be an asshole to you, but I'm going to feel like we're equals and I'm going to speak to you in a way that I know I'm enough. And guys who speak to other people with a tonality or pitch that communicates that they know they're enough. Those are the kinds of dudes who get women. Those guys who speak with a pitch or tonality where they don't think they're enough. Those are the guys who repel women. And as you're probably concluding, it all comes down to belief systems.

8:19 Am I enough for this woman? Or even am I socially more valuable than this woman? Which honestly is how I feel. When I go talk to a chick, there's no way she knows as much as I do about attraction. There's no way she has as strong as a frame as I do, because all I do is practice it. And I've been practicing it for years. So I immediately go in with confidence knowing I have the upper hand in this conversation. What does she have? Okay, she's hot.

8:47 So the fuck what? What kind of personality does she have? What accomplishments has she done? What kind of morals does she live by? Does she have integrity? Does she tell the truth? Is she funny? This remains to be seen. So my tonality is delivered in a way where that's communicated. And speaking of Jared, the dude who just gave us that testimonial, he had that in the beginning. But what's interesting is he was a master salesman, but he couldn't apply that to women. So with NLP, I literally transposed his confidence in selling onto women.

9:14 And then boom, he was off to the races. It was just that little mind tweak for him that had him trading paint with eights and above. The third quality is easy to laugh. They laugh at everything because they're trying to get into rapport with everybody. Think about a guy who's low value, and this may actually be you. And if it is, just admit it. It's okay. I was there too. But do you laugh easily at things? Are you trying to get into rapport with people? Are you being agreeable?

9:45 Do you want people to like you and therefore you laugh at shit that maybe isn't funny? I'll tell you what, when somebody says something to me and I don't understand what they said, I'll be like, what do you mean? Or if somebody says something I don't find funny, I won't laugh. Or if somebody assesses something that I say incorrectly, I'll straight tell them. I'm not afraid to point out the obvious. I'm not afraid to be honest. And there's a trait right there. They are dishonest. And that's the thing is they want people to like them so bad.

10:11 So they become disingenuous. They become dishonest. They become two-faced. And therefore people don't like them, particularly women, because they want to be liked so badly. And there's another quality about attractive men. They don't fucking care what you think. And when you don't care what people think, boys, people will like you. It's the irony of being attractive. It's the irony of being liked. Stop caring. Stop trying. Just be you. Be honest. Be genuine. And be confident in yourself because you are a fucking champion. And as soon as you realize that, other people are going to realize it too, including women.

10:49 All right. The next one is obvious. Submissive body language. Submissive body language. I highly suggest you guys listen to any of my episodes about body language. Just type in the search bar, mark, sing body language. But good body language is obvious to us, right? It's open, head held high, slight smirk on your face, straight spine, openly walking, taking up lots of space. Guys who are bad with women kind of have their head sunk into their shoulders. They kind of look up at you. Even if they're taller than you, they have this way to like angle their head where it looks like they're looking up at you in a weird way.

11:26 And shorter guys who are really confident and good with women, it's almost like they look down on you in a way. It's crazy how subtle body language changes can make a guy seem completely fucking different. No matter what he looks like, no matter how tall he is, no matter what quote unquote station he has in society, whether you think your race is unattractive, whether you think your haircut is unattractive or lack thereof, whatever it is that may be unattractive about you, if you believe that it doesn't matter or better yet, say for example, you're bald and you're a before picture for a Rogaine commercial.

12:00 If you believe that being bald is sexy as fuck, girls will believe it too. So guys who are unattractive to women, and once again, this goes back to my point on all my podcasts, it all starts inside the head. Guys who are unattractive to women believe that they are unattractive, therefore have submissive body language. And this shit is so subtle. This shit is so unconscious that you can't really consciously change it without actually changing your beliefs. So you could do some things like stand up tall, walk confidently.

12:28 But even when you do that, a guy like me, who's very trained, I can tell you still have insecurities. Like I look at guys in the gym all the time who have all the quote unquote correct body language, but I can still tell they're insecure because what's going on inside their heads. And if I can tell, you're damn right, boys, women can tell too. These chicks are little radar systems who can pick up on immediately your self-confidence, your self-worth, what you believe, and most importantly, what you feel your value is socially compared to hers.

13:02 That's reflected in your body language. It's reflected in your tone. It's reflected in your willingness to be disagreeable and be unapologetic. The next one, and this isn't all inclusive, but I do notice it pretty consistently. Guys who are bad with women, a lot of them are overweight. A lot of them are overweight. Now, I'm not attacking you if you're overweight. I understand for the vast majority of you guys, you're trying to get that better. But I want to say, as I've said in previous podcasts, that it's all in the fucking head.

13:32 There's belief systems there. There's schemas, archetypes, and identities that these guys have in their heads that makes them overweight. But oftentimes, when a guy is overweight, his estrogen is way higher than it should be because fat produces estrogen. Testosterone is derived from muscle. So the less fat you have and the more muscle you have, and I'm not trying to make you into a fucking meathead. I'm just trying to make you into the alpha that you were born to be, who has a good musculature, who's healthy, has a low body fat, like 15% or lower.

14:00 I, myself, am around 8% to 10%. The less body fat you have, the less estrogen you have, and the higher testosterone you have, thus being more attractive to women because women can literally pick up on that. Just like they can pick up on your tonality, just like they can pick up on your body language, they can pick up on your testosterone levels versus estrogen levels, just like we can pick up on a chick's testosterone levels. Have you guys ever seen a chick who's super fucking masculine? It's the biggest turnoff you've ever seen if you're into feminine chicks, as I am, right?

14:33 Because even if she's not acting that way, you can just feel it from her. You can just look at a chick across the room and just sense her estrogen versus testosterone levels. Girls who are super feminine, and I think 90% of you guys will agree with me, are so fucking sexy. Now, look at this to further illustrate my point. Have you noticed that oftentimes pretty fat chicks are super fucking feminine? Because they have higher levels of estrogen, because they have more body fat. So I'm not saying that fat chicks are attractive.

15:04 God knows I never say that because I like really thin, in-shaped chicks. But have you noticed too that chicks that work out a lot who are super muscular, they tend to get a little masculine? That's because the testosterone is pumping. So the perfect calibration is difficult for a woman to achieve, just like it's difficult for us to achieve. But the way we do it is through everything I teach in this podcast. Ramping up your masculinity, going out there and facing your fears, being towards-oriented, speaking to chicks, working out, eating right, just all the basics.

15:36 I mean, you know what the fuck to do. The problem is discipline. And I'm actually going to drop a podcast about discipline here shortly, because I think a lot of you guys need that discipline. You're letting yourself go, bro. You have partaken in workplace misconduct, financial misfeasance, and living the life of a man who looks like a chicken McNugget with tits. Let's get your shit together, guys. Let's get the body fat down, get the masculinity up. I usually notice guys who are really bad with women, even if they're not overweight, they kind of got that skinny fat thing going.

16:07 It just seems like they always have a little bit more body fat. Dudes who kind of get ripped, I feel like generally speaking, not always for sure, but generally speaking, they tend to trend towards being more effective with women. All right. The next thing I noticed, and this is so pervasive in dudes who don't get chicks, is they procrastinate. They flake. They have an I'll do it later mentality. Do you know what flakiness and procrastination is derivative of in a man? That's right. Estrogen. When you have a high level of estrogen, when you have a high level of femininity, you procrastinate, you flake, and most of all, you make fucking excuses.

16:40 I absolutely love the quote by Jocko of the Jocko podcast. All your excuses are lies. I actually have a picture of Jocko with that exact quote next to my garage door. So every time I walk out of my garage, about to go to the gym, about to get some shit done, about to get after it, I see that all your excuses are lies. And they are, man. And there's always an excuse when you need one, isn't there? I hear so many excuses, it would blow your fucking mind.

17:12 And I just smile and I say, man, there's always an excuse when you need one. If you really wanted to get this part of your life settled, if you really wanted to get girls get ripped, get money, you'd fucking do it. All your excuses are lies. Now, certainly a lot of excuses are derived of meta programs, schemas, archetypes, traumas that you guys have in your head. But dude, I'm the last guy you're going to sell on your fucking excuse. I'm not ready yet. I don't have this together.

17:40 I don't got this situation. I don't have this confidence. I don't have fill in the fucking blank. Okay. Guys who are bad with women are fucking excuse makers. They're flakes. They're procrastinators. And I have very little respect for them. It just makes me do the six forehead slaps, bro. I've been talking about it lately in these podcasts, just like one, two, three, four, five, six forehead slaps. When you make that fucking excuse, I can't do it because fill in the fucking blank. You're being a fucking pussy.

18:03 Now, listen to my language. I'm not saying you are a pussy. I'm saying you're being a fucking pussy. And I was too. I was doctor excuses. I was head of the excuse army back in the day. And what was I? A fucking failure. Didn't get girls. Didn't get money. Wasn't ripped. Looked like, yes, that chicken McNugget with tits or a cow standing vertically or a potato with a bathing suit on it because I was making excuses until I finally realized that, yeah, all my excuses are lies.

18:32 Fuck this shit. Let's get our shit together. And now look at me. I'm able to do it. It's not that hard if you stop making excuses, but guys who are bad with women, excuse makers. And the last thing I want to say, and if this happened to you, forgive yourself. They get butt hurt easily. They get offended easily. They get triggered. Guys who get triggered, the only thing you're communicating to me is you're fucking weak. You're fucking weak because nothing anybody says can affect you unless you let it.

19:00 I want to say that again. Nothing anybody else says can affect you negatively unless you let it. It's your choice. And people who get buttered, like come into this safe space and we won't trigger you with all your insecurities that you refuse to work on because you're a fucking pussy. That's what I hear when I hear triggered words or safe spaces or whatever pussy ass bullshit they're trying to slang at us in the modern media. Sack the fuck up, be internally validated, not give a shit what other people think or say.

19:28 And when they say it, laugh like a Spartan sitting there after battle with his blood sprayed helmet and his bronze shield smeared with guts. When a little kid comes up to him and says, your helmet's stupid. He just looks at her with his eyes alone. He doesn't even bother to put his chin down and to actually look at her. He just looks at her with his eyes and he laughs. He's like, just like if anybody sends me a hate mail, like you're a piece of shit, Mark.

19:55 I hope you die. It's just, it's fucking funny to me because I don't give a fuck what they think. I'm internally motivated. I'm internally validated. And so are you, man, when you decide to be. So from this day forward, make a pact with me, man to man, brother to brother, warrior to warrior, heart to heart. From this day forward, I will not be negatively affected. I will not be triggered. I will not be hurt by the words of others because they are just words. And you know what?

20:17 It's more of a testament about how they think about themselves than it is about how they think of you. So let it drip off of you like water off a duck's back because it doesn't matter. The five traits, I should say seven. I always notice about guys who don't get girls, super agreeable, super high voice, easy to laugh, submissive body language, overweight, especially around the core area, procrastinators, flakes, fucking excuse makers, and gets butt hurt easily. Gets butt hurt easily. So if you have those admitted to yourself and no matter how much you snap at me or anybody else, it's all about yourself, bro.

20:59 Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays. If you'd like to meet with me on a free one-on-one breakthrough session, you're like, dude, I'm not meeting with him after that fucking tirade. Relax. I'm a nice fella. I just expect you to step into your masculinity. And if I'm not going to make you do it, who the fuck will, right? I can't be your mentor unless I'm going to be your tour mentor. So the reason I make my guys reply to my emails in 24 hours, the way I make my guys sack the fuck up and approach 20 girls a week, the way I make my guys do all their NLP and show up to the fucking coaching calls is because my purpose is to put them in their masculine energy so they can get chicks.

21:34 So I hold them accountable. And if I'm not going to do it, who the fuck will, right? Who the fuck will? Nobody. Sometimes you need somebody to smack you upside the head and tell you you're being an idiot and a fucking pussy so that you sack the fuck up and do the work and get the results that you want and then realize that I'm not even necessary, right? After my guys graduate my program, they're like, I feel like I don't need you anymore. And I'm like, perfect.

21:58 That's where we need you to get because now you're internally motivated, internally disciplined, internally willing to go out there and get your goals. And you're on the way to becoming the man you've always wanted to be. I do appreciate you listening and I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.