5 Things to NEVER Say to a Woman

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for joining me on another episode of the UMP and today we are going to talk about five things never to say to a woman and these are the five most typical things that I've seen guys say to women when they're first talking to them. So we're going to blow through these, make sure we remove them from our conversations and make sure we do things that actually get them attracted to us.

0:39 Before I jump into the content, I wanted to thank all of you for your reviews. They have been absolutely awesome. They crack me up and give me a pop in my giddy up every time I see them. They're really awesome and I just appreciate you guys so much. I feel like this podcast attracts guys who are just like me and like I look at you guys on Instagram, you dudes that are following me. I check you out, some of you, and I'm like, yeah man, these guys are just like me getting after it, kicking ass in life.

1:07 You guys are go-getters, ambitious men, and you have a growth-oriented mindset. I love it. I'm just attracting a tribe of my boys, guys who I'd be homies with if we lived in the same area. So if you're one of those guys, man, thank you for listening. I hope I'm delivering good content to you. And if you haven't yet, if you could give me a review or even tell your friends about this podcast, I will send you a bunch of really cool stuff. You know, sometimes guys leave me reviews and I never hear from them, which is interesting, but still appreciate it, you know, that you would take the time to do that.

1:38 I know it's a hassle, but it really helps me. So if you feel like I've helped you and you want to help me in return, reviews are the best way to do that. And you can email me a coachmarksingh at gmail.com and I'll send you just a ton of good stuff. So once again, smack on the ass, brother, you are a champion. Thank you for following me and let's deliver some good content in this one. All right. So attraction killer number one, and this is a huge thing to avoid is disclaimer laugh.

2:04 Okay. So a lot, many times after a guy will say something, he'll have a disclaimer laugh like, Hey, do you want to go to the movies? And that's a big thing you want to avoid. And in addition to that, we also have to be careful with our tonality. I've talked about this in previous episodes, but when speaking to a woman, you want to have a downward inflection in your voice, right? So not like, Hey, you want to go to a movie, but instead, Hey, you want to go to a movie and it's a downward inflection because a downward inflection communicates authority.

2:33 And many guys who are bad with women really put her in the authoritative role. They chase her like chasing tail. It's even a, it's even a statement that we say to one another. Yeah, I'm chasing this girl over in Monterey. I had a guy say that to me once and I'm like chasing a girl. You don't really want to chase a girl. You want her to chase you because when you're in the chasing mentality, you're in the supplicatory mentality, your voice changes. You do things like disclaimer laugh and you give her all the value, which kills her attraction.

3:07 Another thing that guys will do that absolutely turn her off is asking her if she has a boyfriend. I hear about this all the time. You never want to do that. In fact, if you want to find out that information, you say, so why don't you have a boyfriend? It's probably because you're a bad kisser, huh? So what I do is I just assume it and I say it to her that way. And then that gets the information. Or if she says, well, I do have a boyfriend and then boom, you know, she has a boyfriend.

3:33 All right. Attraction killer number three is building yourself up. Many guys in this game will try to brag and show all the good things about themselves when they're first meeting a woman. Such things as like dangling the keys to their Ferrari, working into the first three sentences that they have a high value job, trying to brag in any way whatsoever. Like wearing like a super ridiculously tight shirt if they're ripped, which I'm kind of guilty of doing sometimes too. Hey, I like, I like the tight shirts.

4:01 What can I say? But you don't want it to look like a rash guard or like it was painted onto your body. You need, you want a little bit of breathing room at least when you're trying to do that. But really, you know, if you're ever caught trying to impress a woman, it's going to blow up in your face. Now, certainly we want to tell her all the good things that we have about us, but we really want the truth to reveal itself in its own time.

4:28 And we do that by letting the truth reveal itself through our Instagram, our Facebook, or if you have a nice car, you pick her up in that nice car when you pick her up on the first date. And it's infinitely more powerful. If you have like a really nice car, I don't know, like a super dope Mercedes, you don't even mention it until you pick her up on the first date. It's like 10,000 times more powerful when it just reveals itself in due time. And on that note, we can also kind of brag without bragging by telling stories and saying things that are slightly self-deprecating.

4:57 So I have two clients right now. One is a doctor and the other one is getting his PhD in nuclear science or nuclear. He's going to kill me if he's listening to this. He's like, bro, I've told you a hundred times what it is. He's basically like studying like nuclear engineering or something like that. So what we did is we said like some self-deprecating things about it. So for the doctor, you know, he says, yeah, I'm a doctor, but I have a piece of advice for you.

5:25 And she'd be like, what? You'd be like, never date a doctor because the second you get involved with him, he's constantly diagnosing you with stuff. And he's like $400,000 in debt and you'd never want to date a doctor like that. So it's a good way to make it self-deprecating. For the nuclear engineer, we say, yeah, you never want to date a nuclear engineer because he's always exposed to nuclear radiation. And who knows, he could have a third arm growing out of his back. So definitely don't do that.

5:50 So it's called a disqualifier. And anytime you brag, you want to disqualify it. So back when I was a Japanese translator, I had to come up with a way to think about, you know, kind of curtailing the seemingly bragging element of telling her that I was a Japanese translator. So I would say I was Japanese translator. I lived in Japan for four and a half years and I got really bad breath because of all the sushi I ate. And then I'd tell a story about how when I was working at the middle schools, it was really funny.

6:20 I sat next to this math teacher and the math teacher was a little bit older and he had the worst breath ever. And there's this thing in Japanese you say, sol-ka, like sol-ka. And it means like, oh, really? So he'd be like looking over his kids' tests. And for some reason, he would always go like, sol-ka, right? Like this bad breath, this cloud of bad breath would come floating over my desk. So every time I heard him do that, I'd like get up and run out of the teacher's room.

6:48 It was really funny. Now, now, I'm not saying all Japanese people have bad breath. I just tell that story. And then I say, yeah, never date a Japanese translator because he's eaten so much Japanese food he has bad breath. Just one example of what I do to slightly self-deprecate a high value thing. Now, also when you're telling stories to her, you want to work in the self-deprecation. If you've listened to my podcast about storytelling, I tell a story about how when I was living in Hawaii, I was surfing with my friend.

7:16 My friend was on a wave and he thinks he hit a shark. His board stopped. He flew off the board and we were terrified because he's like yelling, I hit a shark. I hit a shark. And it was in this area where there were sharks. So I guess it's possible personally between you and me, I think he probably just hit like a piece of floating wood or something like that. But who knows? It was kind of dark. And so when I tell the story to girls, it could come off as I'm bragging.

7:43 Like I surf and I do all these cool things. I lived in Hawaii. I was a Japanese translator. But when I tell that story, I say, I was scared like a school girl. I piddled a little bit down my leg as I was paddling out to go get him. So when you say great things about yourself, you want to make the self-deprecation in there so that it doesn't look like you're bragging. Because when you try to show off to a woman, they know, they pick up on this shit.

8:11 So you need to be very careful about what you say and how you say it. Okay. Attraction killer number four is asking her what her type is. This is such a low value thing to do because really what you're doing is you're trying to get her to say that you're her type. Now you can do the contrary to that and be like, you know, um, I understand that you like midgets with peg legs. And I think that's, that's really hot. And I think that you should own it, Kelly, that you like those kinds of guys.

8:38 And I'll tell you what, I'm going to find you that kind of guy here tonight. So instead of saying, Hey, Hey, what's your type? You could be like, Hey, so I understand that your type is, um, that guy over there. And you like point at a guy who's wearing something goofy or just doesn't seem like the type that would be her type. And then she's going to be like, no, that's not my type. And you want to like point out anything that's not you. And in fact, what I, what I do all the time is I give her reasons why I wouldn't be her type.

9:10 Like you wouldn't, I wouldn't get along because we're too similar. Um, you know, I'm horrible in bed. I'm like a one pump chump, or I've got the angry inch or I'm a terrible kisser. I do the jackhammer tongue maneuver. So while guys are always trying to impress girls and make it like, make a case for why they would be her type, you want to do the opposite. Why? Because logic doesn't build attraction. Emotion does. So if you logically rationalize with her, why you two wouldn't be compatible with each other, why you're a terrible choice for her, then she's actually going to get more attracted to you because you're showing that you're outcome independent.

9:46 You're not trying to pull her into an outcome. And as we've discussed ad nauseum in this podcast, when you don't give a shit, what happens, girls get attracted to you, right? This is why girls who you don't like always get attracted to you because you don't give a shit. So what we do is we flip that on its head while other guys go in, try to impress her, try to ask her if she has a boyfriend, try to see what her type is. Always like trying to get, get, get, we, we push away, but we do it in a false way.

10:19 That's funny. And what that really communicates is we are an attractive man because we don't give a shit what happens. So attraction absolutely fascinates me because it's totally counterintuitive. What you think will work and what they sell you in the media and what they show you on the movies is actually the opposite of what really works. So never ask her what her type is. And if you do make it into a joke and even better, make an argument as to why you're not her type. All right.

10:49 And attraction killer number five is interviewing her. So many guys make this mistake of going into conversations with girls and they just go to interview mode, right? Now, can you use interview type questions in a fun and interesting way? Well, once again, yes. If you've been listening to this podcast, you know about my three-step process to ask her the typical questions that guys ask and ask, what do you do? Where are you from? How old are you? You know, where'd you go to school? All this shit that everybody asks each other.

11:19 Don't you think it would be smart to prepare something that has more life in it than just giving them the basic mundane answer? Of course. And the way we do that, as you've heard me say before, is a three-step process. She asks you what you do. First, you say something funny. I'm an ass model. I pick up penguins at the zoo that fell over. I'm a backflip expert. I work at the freak show. I'm the world's tallest midget. Whatever you think is funny. Okay. So the first thing is funny.

11:44 Then the second thing is the real thing you do. And then the third thing, once again, is a story. And the story should embed high value aspects about yourself that she can get attracted to while also being self-deprecating. So we can interview her just fine, but we want to spice up the interviews and get past the old, so where are you from? And then you just drop it. Now, when you ask her these typical questions, where are you from? What do you do? How old are you?

12:14 You want to spice it up. So oftentimes I'll be like, so what's your name? Wait, wait, wait. Let me guess. Let me guess. Your name is Shadynesty. Or as my client Albar came up with, what was it? Quarantina. Your name is Quarantina. I thought that was pretty funny. Really applicable to today while we're in quarantine. But I always call them Shadynesty. When I ask them what they do for a living, you may have heard me say this. I accuse them of being an ice cream man.

12:40 And so you spice it up. You can ask the interview type questions, but you spice up the interview. And that's really, really powerful. So reviewing them. Attraction killer number one is disclaimer laugh, as well as a supplicatory tone or complimenting too much and trying to sell her on yourself. Attraction killer number two is asking her if she has a boyfriend. Terrible. Never do it. Just assume she doesn't and ask her why and accuse her of being a bad kisser or being terrible in bed even is really powerful.

13:12 Attraction killer three is building yourself up. Never brag to a woman. Let the truth reveal itself in its own time. And also, if you're going to tell high value things about yourself, embed them in seemingly self-deprecating stories. Attraction killer number four, asking her what her type is or like, am I your type? Oh, bro, do not do that. Please, God, do not do that. And then attraction killer number five is interviewing her in the wrong way, interviewing her in the wrong way. All right, guys. So that's it for this podcast.

13:43 I wanted to bust those out because I see these mistakes over and over again. And if you're making these mistakes too, if you can clean those up, you'll get much better success with women. If you're interested in getting one-on-one coaching with me, hit me up at coachmarksingh.com. Or if you want to contact me directly, you can hit me up at coachmarksingh at gmail.com. And I'd also appreciate it if you'd follow me on Instagram at coachmarksingh. You can also click all those links in the description below.

14:14 I'll certainly be coming up with more content in the weeks and months ahead, and I'll look forward to that. And I thank you guys for listening to this podcast, and I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.