5 Ways to Practice Talking to Girls WITHOUT TALKING TO GIRLS

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. Do you understand what an absolute legend you are? Because how many people actually work on themselves? How many people are trying to better themselves? It's so few and far between, man. You guys have no idea how many people I run into that just do nothing with their lives.

0:33 They're just in cruise control. And you know, we need those people too. You know, I'm not judging them, not hating on them, but you guys are a different breed. You're the kind of champion who actually wants to get to the next level. And man, I really respect that about you. Seriously, you could be doing anything right now with your time, but you're choosing to listen to me to try to get some nuggets of wisdom to improve yourself, to get better women into your life. And seriously, man, you need to smack yourself on the ass so hard when the concussion hits, your balls fly up and hit the brim of your hat because you are a goddamn champion.

1:08 Before we jump into the content, want to read yet another testimonial I received for my three-month coaching program. This is from Adam. Adam, what is up? Adam is actually featured in the highlight video that I have on my sales page. If you were to click the link in the description below to read about my three-month coaching program, I have a video there of some of the highlights that we've had, many highlights of my three-month coaching experience. And we actually talk about Adam and this is what he has to say.

1:35 At the beginning of the three-month coaching program, I was a bit skeptical if this was truly worth the money. As I proceeded through the program, I quickly realized that it was well worth the price. The NLP portion of the program absolutely works wonders. I noticed it fixed things. I didn't even know I was doing wrong. It truly forms you into a dangerously ambitious alpha in every aspect of your life, truly a life-changing course. And Adam, I really do appreciate that man. Adam was very passive, very meek.

2:03 He had a very weak voice. And actually in that highlight video, we talk about, I'm like, dude, listen to this guy's voice. It's like a different guy because your voice, your body language is reflected by those belief systems about yourself that go on inside your head. And that's exactly what we do in this course is we rewire the programming inside your head so you can feel like that alpha that Adam now is. And he's pulling, man. He went and got that bulk pack of condoms from Costco and he's blown through a man.

2:36 He needs to have a subscription where they just automatically deliver that shit to his house because he's absolutely killing it. So gentlemen, I know one of the biggest fears a lot of you guys have is going up and speaking to women. And oftentimes we make the excuse that we're not ready yet. We need more practice. So what I'm going to do in this episode is give you some ways to practice speaking to women without actually speaking to women. Now I know this episode is going to get a ton of clicks because guys are terrified to get rejected by girls.

3:03 And I get it, man. I used to be there too. But once you get enough experience under your belt, you realize that most women are super cool. They're really not a threat to you. Rejection doesn't matter in the least. So you can blow past it pretty quickly. And once you do, you have that superpower where you can approach any girl anytime, anywhere, and it doesn't matter. And your validation only comes from within. So it doesn't matter what she thinks. But initially I understand a lot of you guys have a lot of fear surrounding this.

3:37 So I want to give you some tactics that I used to use when I was first starting out to practice speaking to girls without actually speaking to girls. So some of these are a little hokey. Some of these are a little cheesy, but I understand there's a lot of fear out there and I want to accommodate that. But really, bro, let's get out there and talk to girls. Like after you've done this for a couple of weeks, let's stop hiding behind excuses. Let's stop telling yourself that you're not ready yet.

4:02 You need just a little bit more training because ultimately you're not going to be able to get good at it unless you actually do it. I'm a big fan of what's called supercross. Supercross is motorcycle racing. And all the writers say, dude, you can practice this shit on the practice track over and over again. It's not until you actually get into the races that you really realize where your sticking points are, what your strengths are, how you need to differentiate tuning of the motorcycle and what you need to do with your training to take yourself up to the next level.

4:32 It's not until you're actually in the field. And as I spoke about in my previous episode, it's not until you're actually the man in the arena that you understand how good you are, what you need to work on. And brothers, that experience of literally opening 10 girls in a day will bring you a thousand steps further than doing what I'm going to explain to you in this episode. But to get your feet wet, to get some practice, to at least give yourself some reps in a safe environment where you can't get rejected, I feel still has value, which is why I'm sharing this with you.

5:05 But dude, man the fuck up and get out there. And you can even do what I talk about all the time, which is approach and eject. Just ask a girl for directions. Ask where she got that Starbucks coffee, ask where she got that purse because you're shopping for your sister, whatever. You don't have to go up and try to get her phone number every single time. You could just ask a quick question and then eject. Eject before she can reject. And then what you do is as you get better with that, as you get more comfortable opening, then you start stacking, you start building conversations.

5:34 And only when she's attracted to you, do you actually go for her phone number. So we don't go up to girls hitting on them, trying to get anything from them. In fact, we give them good energy, give them good value, give them good conversation. Then if and when they get attracted to us, do we go for the phone number. But again, okay, I know you guys are scared. So here's five ways to practice talking to girls without talking to girls. Okay, number one, tell stories to yourself.

6:02 One of the biggest things we do when we're in set with women is storytelling. Telling girls stories of your past, telling girls stories about the venue you happen to be in. Anything that has to do with storytelling is extremely hypnotic because through hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, stories were typically used to pass on learning lessons. So when we were in tribal communities, and I think of the Australian aborigines when it comes to this specific example, when they would tell each other how to find water, how to find food, they would tell stories so that the way to get to that water or the way to get to that food would be memorable via the stories that they tell.

6:41 So imagine all of us in tribes sitting around the fires and we're telling each other stories. It's the way the human brain likes to operate and it builds massive attraction when you do it with women. This too is why we like to watch Netflix, why we like to sit around and binge things like Game of Thrones. It's because storytelling does something in the human mind. So the cool thing about storytelling is you can practice it on yourself without even needing a girl to be there. You can just practice stories while you're driving in your car, while you're in your bathroom, looking in the mirror, practicing telling stories about high value things that you've done, people who you've rescued, times that you've shown integrity, or more importantly, times that you rose above vulnerability.

7:25 Now, storytelling is a very specific thing that obviously requires its own episode. If you're interested, I have recorded episodes about it in the past. Just search Mark Singh telling stories or storytelling and episodes will pop up for you that you can listen to about how to tell stories. But the great thing again about stories is you could just practice them in the comfort of your own home. You can practice them while you're driving, focusing on what the story is about, how it communicates you persevering past a problem, how your voice is while you're speaking, how you use crescendo and decrescendo to keep her enticed and keep her attention in the moment, how to lead her through these stories to build attraction.

8:07 And you can do that anytime, anywhere. Hell, you could even do it inside your own head, just telling stories. And one thing I want to mention when it comes to stories is a lot of you guys say, dude, I don't have stories. I don't remember anything that happened. I've never traveled. I haven't done shit in my life, bro. My life has been as boring as watching pain dry. I'm going to disagree with you on that point, man. Every single guy I've ever worked with, no matter how boring he perceives his life to be, he always has stories.

8:35 And the best way to find these stories is to look through pictures of your life. We all have 75,000 pictures on our cell phones. So what you can do is go through your cell phone, look for different pictures. Those will tell stories of your life. And what you want to do is create stories that build attraction. Once again, I strongly suggest you listen to any episode I've done about storytelling. It'll tell you all about it. But again, this is something you can practice in the comfort and safety of your own home.

9:06 The second thing I tell my clients to do is when you're out and about and you happen to be interacting with an unattractive girl who, when you're interacting with her, the outcome really doesn't matter to you, right? And this, by the way, is why unattractive girls will sometimes get attracted to you where girls who you are attracted to won't get attracted to you. Reason is, is because you're outcome independent. You don't care what happens. You're very relaxed. Your body language is correct. Your tonality is correct.

9:35 You're not filtering everything you're saying. Your mind is fluid and free and you can talk to her because she doesn't matter to you. We want to get the same way with really hot girls. And this too is why I say, bro, you need to get out there and get reps because we need to systematically expose you to that which makes you frightened. Which means if I can put you in set enough times, I'm talking hundreds, thousands, even tens of thousands of times, you're going to become a lot more comfortable being in set and your mind will be able to be fluid like it is with a girl who's unattractive.

10:11 But what I tell my guys to do is when you're interacting with an unattractive girl, pretend she's super freaking hot. Okay. And the reason we do this is because we know subconsciously she's not attractive, but we can systematically expose ourselves to the same social pressure we feel when a girl is attractive by pretending that that girl is attractive in the moment. So how would you behave if you are working out and suddenly this 10 comes up and starts working out next to you? All of us can agree that our body language is going to change a little bit.

10:42 We're going to act a little bit different. We're going to be worried about what she thinks about us. We may do some insecure things like pull the shirt off our fat or even try to like flex up a little bit and like push up our sleeve or adjust our hat. We're going to do very little things to communicate to her that we're uncomfortable in her presence. So not only do I want you to pretend that that unattractive girl is attractive, but more importantly, I want you to watch how you're behaving while she's there next to you.

11:14 So are you comfortable? Of course you are because you don't care what she looks like. Are you adjusting your shirt or moving your hat or trying to lift your sleeves or drink water in a certain way because you're trying to impress her? No. So what I want you to do is pretend she's really attractive and then act exactly as you do with her being unattractive. And then what you do is the next time there is a hot girl next to you, you pretend she's unattractive and you act exactly as you did when the unattractive girl was there.

11:43 You don't care what she thinks. In fact, sometimes I'll do things in front of hot chicks that communicates. I don't care what you think, such as sneezing, such as blowing my nose, such as commenting about how I'm happy that my stomach is getting a little bit of stomach fat on it because it keeps me warm during these cold winter months. It's communicating. I don't give a shit what you think. And one of the best ways to practice that is to pretend an unattractive girl is attractive or an attractive girl is unattractive when you're interacting with them.

12:11 But more importantly, man, the best thing you can do is get out and just talk to girls because eventually you realize that looks don't matter. I've had girls with angelic faces, faces of goddesses looking at me and the bodies that just won't quit. And then I talk to them and they're like a sea hag. They're like, I went fucking drinking last night and I was smoking and I got drunk and I passed out and my friend had to pick me up. And I'm like, dude, this is a horrible person.

12:37 This is a horrible person. So eventually you get to the point where looks don't matter to you anymore. You go into interactions with, yes, the first prerequisite is met. You are attractive, but you go into interactions with like, what else can you bring? What else do you have to offer? What's your personality like? What experiences have you had? Are you funny? Can you tell cool stories? Can I jive with you and have a good time? Or are you going to complain about how you got so drunk last night?

13:03 You lost your purse. You couldn't find your ID. Somebody stole your cell phone and you were so fucking out of it. You forgot where your vagina was. This is the kind of shit that I've heard consistently over the years, boys. And here's a funny thing. As a bouncer, me and my buddies used to say, we used to say if she has one dinosaur arm, which means she's holding her hand up and her wrist is floppy in front of her, she's pretty drunk. If she's got two dinosaur arms, then she's fucking getting kicked out because she is annihilated.

13:30 She's absolutely inebriated and she needs to be kicked out. So one dinosaur arm, you're pretty drunk. Two dinosaur arms, you're fucking out of here, bro. Kick rocks with your head down. But honestly, boys, we are giving women way too much credit. So I want you to get over your fear of hot girls just because they're hot by pretending that unattractive girls are attractive and watching how you act. And then attractive girls are unattractive and behaving the way you would if she was unattractive. I literally want you to mind fuck yourself to be able to do that.

14:04 The third thing to do is to practice techniques on family members, on friends, on people who don't matter, grandmas, homeless people, anybody who doesn't intimidate you, practice storytelling, practice cold reading, practice push-pull, practice frame control, practice all the things that I teach on people who simply don't matter. Hell, you could call your mom right now and run the cube, which is a massive attraction building technique, on your mom and she's going to be over the moon excited about it. When's the last time you called your mom, bro?

14:41 She's hoping to hear from you. And you haven't called her in so many days because you got your life, you're busy. We as men have a tendency to way underappreciate our moms. So call your mom, run some stories on her, run some gambits on her, get her pumped up. Dude, she gave birth to you, you selfish bastard. Why aren't you calling your mom and telling her how wonderful she is? Send her some flowers, bro. Send her some flowers today. Really, I'm serious. Let's all send our mom some flowers because they deserve it.

15:08 Women who give birth to boys and raise them are the most beautiful, compassionate, loving beings in the world. So send your mom some love, run the cube on her, do these gambits on her because she's going to be pumped just like any other woman would. And she's not going to reject you. I remember the first time, this is a funny story, the first time I ever made a webinar back in the day for my seduction material. A lot of you guys know that I've been trying to become a seduction coach for like 10 years, failed over and over and over again until finally this podcast absolutely exploded.

15:41 And now I'm extremely successful. But when I first started out, I literally made this hour and a half long webinar. And the only person who watched it was my mom. That's what moms do, dude. They get your back no matter what. And she's like, Mark, that was amazing. I learned so much about how to attract women. Mom, I know you're out there. I love you. You're an amazing woman. And I, too, need to call you, which actually I'm going to do today, boys. I'm going to do what I tell you to do.

16:10 I'm going to call my mom and let her know that I love her. All right. The next tip, boys, is to have practice conversations in your head, which is to say, what would I say to that girl if I were to go open her? Now, this kind of irritates me as a dating coach. And I almost shudder to think that I'm actually giving you this advice because to me, it's a cowardly excuse not to open that girl. But I'm trying to get myself in the framework of, look, these guys are really new.

16:31 They're trying to get into this. So, OK, here we go. What you want to do is see a girl and say, if I were to approach her, what would I say? What would she probably say to that? What would I say to that? What would she say to that? And what would I say to that? So what you're doing is constructing a conversation with that cute girl who you just saw in your head. Again, this really irks me because I'm like, dude, just go fucking talk to her and do it in real life.

16:56 But all right. All right. I get it. I get it. You're a little bit afraid. So I'm going to let you do this for a couple of weeks. OK, only two weeks, man. Go call your mom. And now you got two weeks to practice this. Those are our agreements in this episode. Two weeks you can practice this where you see a girl. What would I say to her? What would she say back to that? What would I do if she rejected me? What would I do if she did a frame check on me and said something really mean?

17:18 Like, is this what you say to all the girls? Is that what you do? You just come up to girls and talk to them? Why are you talking to me? Why would you ask me that kind of question? Why do you need to know what time it is when you have a cell phone in your pocket? You guys have to get ready to address these objections. And one of the best ways to do that is to just practice conversations in your head where if she's going to say this, I'm going to say that.

17:42 If she's going to do this, I'm going to do this. If she asks me to go get her a napkin at the bar or can you do this for me, tie my shoe, whatever it is, you have to have a response to that. And you guys can practice this shit in the comfort of your own goddamn skull. It's safe inside that skull. So instead of having aimless thinking where you're thinking about the next video game you're going to play or how you're going to get enough rent for your next rent check, think about what would I say to that girl?

18:07 How would the conversation unfold? And that gets me to my last technique that is super important that you should be doing consistently with your friends. And that is picking out a random object for each other or if you're alone for yourself and just talking about it. I've spoken about this several times during the anthology of this entire podcast series, but this is really powerful to practice thinking on your feet and coming up with shit off the top of your head. A lot of you guys know that when I sit down to do these podcasts, all I have is a quick subject line.

18:40 Basically, I have the title and then I just go. I just go for it. And it comes out of the deeper intelligence that I feel I'm connected to because I surrender to it. I trust in it. And I know that I can think on my feet, but also because I've practiced shit like you just tell me to talk about a plant. Can you tell me a story about a plant? Damn right, I could. Did you guys know? And I'm literally pulling this out of my ass right now.

19:03 Okay. I just saw a fucking documentary about this. Did you know that trees in the forest actually share nutrients with each other because they know that when one tree is strong, the other tree can be strong too. We used to think that trees would try to outgrow each other in order to reach the sun. But the truth of the matter is, is they understand the importance of community and they share nutrients via the root systems. So if you have one tree that's taller than the other, who's getting more sun, he's actually going to send the other dude nutrients via the root systems because he understands that the other tree is blocking him from the wind.

19:41 The other tree will share nutrients with him if he needs it in 10 years from now. So I love that because trees have an intelligence that us humans should have, which is when you help another, you help yourself. Boom. I just pulled that out of my ass because you asked me to talk about trees. So what you do is when you're with your friends, you guys are driving, you'd be like, Hey man, look at that skateboard right there. Talk about skateboards. And then you just have to go.

20:06 Or when you're driving with yourself, you look over and you see a blonde chick. What would I say to her? What kinds of things can I talk about? Oh, there's a Ferrari. What can I say about a Ferrari? Oh, there's a plane flying across, towing a banner about Jose Cuervo. Can I tell a story about Jose Cuervo? Oh, there's a bus right there and it looks like it got in an accident. What can I talk about a bus? You can even open up a magazine and there's a piano.

20:25 Talk about a piano. There's a cat. Tell me a story about a cat. You just choose random objects to talk about and practice thinking on the fly. How can I tell a story about this? What kinds of questions can I ask about this? What kind of facts do I know? Can I spin this in an interesting way? And the reason we do this is because girls are going to throw shit at you out of left field, right? She's like, I'm a professional pickleball player. What do you know about pickleball?

20:53 Can you ask interesting questions about it? Can you talk about it in a fun and interesting way that keeps her attracted? So the best way to do this is just while you're driving. Look out the window and see something and talk about it. A guy on a bike wearing a leather jacket, go. Talk about leather jackets, man. Do it. So it's your job as the man to lead conversations and bring her into good feelings when speaking to women. So to practice that in a rejection-free environment, otherwise known as your skull piece, is simple.

21:18 And it boggles my mind that more guys don't do this. So go ahead and take the next two weeks after, of course, you call your mom right now and send her some flowers, letting her know that you appreciate that she gave you life, bro. She gave you life and you haven't even called her? What an asshole. You're so selfish, bro. You're an idiot. Can't believe what an idiot you are. Call that woman. She gave you life, you fucking selfish son of a bitch. After you do that, you are going to practice this shit for two weeks.

21:49 And then we're going to start opening some real girls in the flesh, gentlemen. So to review the five things I spoke about, tell stories to yourself. Go through your phone, find stories, tell them to yourself. I want you to pretend that unattractive girls are attractive and attractive girls are unattractive and behave the same way in front of an attractive girl as you would in front of an unattractive girl. Practice on family. Call your mom and run the cube on her for God's sakes. She is dying to hear from you.

22:16 Number four is to have practice conversations with girls who you see. Ask yourself, what would I say to her? How would the conversation go? What if she said XYZ? How would I reply to that? And the last one is to pick inanimate objects in your day-to-day life and talk about them in a fun and interesting way. So gentlemen, this gives you five extremely practical ways to practice talking to girls without actually having to talk to girls. So once again, you've got two weeks to practice this.

22:46 And of course you should do it while you're actually opening girls too, when there's nobody to open or you happen to be on a long drive. This should be something that you're consistently doing. If you really want to become good with women, you have to get good at thinking on your feet. There's no other way around it. You can memorize my templates. You can read the conversation sniper, which is going to give you tons of funny things to say. You could sit there doing route memorization, but eventually she's going to say something that you're not prepared for unless you have prepared by practicing this shit that I just shared with you today.

23:16 Gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, I'd very much appreciate a review. And if you'd like to meet with me and my team to talk about whether or not you're a good fit for us, and more importantly, if we're a good fit for you to bring you to your most ostentatious, audacious goal with women, we would absolutely love to meet you. Click the link in the description below, coachmarkzing.com forward slash coaching. Fill in the quick application. You and I will email back and forth and you're going to get a free one-on-one breakthrough session to determine if indeed my program is a good fit for your specific goals and needs.

23:53 We'd love to meet you. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please make sure to stay tuned for the next one and I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you next time.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.