YOU ARE THE MAN IN THE ARENA! So Cancel The Voices From The Cheap Seats!

0:00 It's not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strongman stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, and who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy case, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

0:52 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you, and today we are going to talk about all those haters that are bringing you down. Those guys in the cheap seats who are so insecure, who are so terrified that they actually need to spend time to try to hate on you, to bring you down, to make you feel less, so they can try to bring you down to where they are.

1:35 When you are in this game, when you are trying to become the unapologetic man that I know you want to become, there are going to be haters. There are going to be people biting at your feet like piranhas while you're wading upwards through that river of success, and it just comes with the territory, brother. The tallest poppy always gets cut, which means if you really want to put yourself out there, if you really want to become a girl magnet, if you want to become a multimillionaire, if you want to become that fucking champion that I know you want to become, this is something that you have to expect.

2:10 There are going to be boos and insults and criticisms thrown down to you as you're the man in that arena from the cheap seats, and you know what you have to do? You have to understand that these guys are fucking pussies. They're fucking cowards, and they're fucking haters who are so insecure with themselves that the only thing they can do is use energy to try to bring you down, because they feel that if they can bring you down to their level, then your success can no longer threaten them.

2:42 So we're going to talk about why it is that people are haters. We're going to talk about why it is that when you try to become that successful man that I know you want to become, you are going to get these people, and why you have to take their criticism as a compliment. And we're also going to talk about how to reframe women's rejections of you, or, worse yet, your fear of what other people are going to think of you when a woman rejects you, into this man-in-the-arena philosophy, which was a poem written by Theodore Roosevelt, our champion Theodore Roosevelt, fucking legend, who not only wrote that extraordinary poem, but who, in my opinion, was one of the greatest presidents this country has ever had, mostly because what he did for the national forests, without that guy, we wouldn't have the public land that we have today in the United States to be able to get lost deep in the backcountry of protected wilderness where nobody owns it.

3:40 It's just your wilderness. It's my wilderness. It belongs to you. And it belongs to me. And that's because of my boy, Theodore Roosevelt. So, gentlemen, you are trying to become the best man you can be. You are trying to become successful, a multimillionaire, a girl magnet, a dude who has it all. You're going to get some haters, brother. No matter how kind you are, no matter how much free content you give away or how much good you do in this society, there are always going to be haters that come along and try to bring you down.

4:10 Why? Because there are millions and millions and millions, maybe even billions of people who are extremely miserable and they want nothing more than for you to fail. In fact, when you succeed, it's very rare that even your friends and family are really happy for you because the ego, which I talk about all the time in this podcast, wants to come up and be better than other people. It wants to drag other people down. And this is the reason for jealousy. This is the reason for envy.

4:41 And this is why it's one of the quote unquote seven deadly sins is because it creates suffering not only for the person who's jealous, but also if you, the man in the arena, lets that jealousy, criticism and insults drag you down. So the first thing you have to realize, man, is that these haters are coming and you have to look at them like plebs in the cheap seats who are screaming down insults at that blood soaked gladiator, trying to criticize him and bring him down and correct him after he has put himself out there in front of the eyes of millions of others.

5:18 These are the plebs who get on YouTube and post negative comments. These are the losers who leave negative iTunes reviews on not only my podcast, but other podcasts like I look at Tripp Kramer's podcast, Marnie's podcast, so much hatred comes towards those guys. These are the losers that actually take time and listen to this really closely. This is so funny to me. They actually take time to listen to a podcast that they don't like. And then they take more time to email the dude a bunch of hatred about how he's doing this wrong or he does this too much or this too little because he's a fucking pleb.

5:54 And that's the way I look at these guys who send me hatred. That's the way I look at these guys who send you hatred. And this is what you do, brother. Delete those comments immediately from your email inbox, from your social media comments, and most importantly, from your mind. Those negative comments, they have a stickiness to them. And no matter how many good comments come towards you, those seem to kind of just bounce off you. But the negative ones, they just kind of stick to you.

6:19 Somebody insults you on social media. Somebody says you can't do X, Y, Z thing. Somebody laughs at you when you get rejected by a girl or somebody hates on the girls who you're dating. It says they're not hot enough and it just kind of irks you. And this is the way we're designed as human beings. We're very attuned to negative criticism. Why? Because as I always talk about, we're a social creature and our status in society, our status in the tribe is critical to our survival.

6:48 So we're designed to screen for those negative comments. But what we have to understand in today's society is that everything has been exacerbated by 100 X. Everything is magnified and people have more opportunity to slew hatred at you from behind the safety of a keyboard. So you get these cowards who come out, especially on social media. But in my case, in my business, do you understand how much hatred I get? And do you know what I do? I don't even look at it, man. I tell my assistant to delete that shit because I don't want to see it.

7:19 It's going to do nothing positive for me. The only people's opinions who matter, and I want you to really take this under consideration, are those who are in the arena fighting shoulder to shoulder along with you. If somebody with a popular podcast reached out to me and said, hey, brother, I noticed you're doing X, Y, Z, and I'd strongly suggest you make that adjustment, that's the dude who I listen to. Or a guy who comes through my three-month coaching program, him and I become close, we become good friends, and he tells me, hey, man, I noticed your podcast has been slipping a little bit, or I noticed that there's X, Y, Z issue in your coaching program.

7:53 Those are the dudes who I listen to. And you too, when you're going out there in your life, you have to choose whose voice you'll listen to, who else is in the arena? And there are so few people who are in that arena with you, blood-soaked, with dirt on their face, with their teeth knocked out, getting up again and again and refusing to fucking quit, no matter how many times they get knocked down. How many people do that? Honestly, man, think about it. How many people do that?

8:21 One out of a thousand, maybe? And do you know people like this? Maybe you don't even know anybody who's in the arena with you. So why are you listening to their criticism? Why are you letting them hold you back and let their blueprint, let their programming dictate what you're going to do with your life? No, no, no, man. You and I, we get into that fucking arena. We pick up that shield. We pick up that sword. And we look at death. We look at failure with a smile on our face.

8:50 And more importantly, we don't see failure as some kind of statement about who we are as a man. We see it as the rungs on the ladder of success that, in fact, the more I fail, the quicker I'm going to get to success. It says nothing about me if I get knocked down in that arena and the plebs are screaming from the cheap seats what a loser I am. That doesn't fucking matter. What matters is, do I get up again? Do I look at failure as a success waiting to happen?

9:19 And most importantly, do I only listen to the advice, criticism, and direction of those who are in the arena with me, who are very few and far between? When it comes to approaching women and your fear of getting rejected by them, or more importantly, and I know a lot of you guys are going to vibe with this, the opinions of those who see you get rejected by women. They don't have a right to say anything because they're not in the arena along with you getting rejected by girls.

9:45 And if they were, they would do what I do to a guy who gets rejected. I go up to them and I'm like, hey, brother, that was fucking awesome, man. You got shot down. You went down in flames. I'm proud of you, brother. What's your name? And I do this every single night I go out, or if I see a guy doing day game, or a guy get rejected by a girl in the parking lot, or whatever, I'm going up to him and I'm congratulating him because he too is the man in the arena.

10:11 He's not hiding behind a keyboard, spewing hatred at a dude like me who gets rejected by girls. And guys, I get rejected too. I was just rejected two days ago by this really hot girl. She's like, not interested, loser, get out of here. And I laughed to myself. And I said, you don't have the right to judge me because you're not in the arena doing this fucking work. You're not going up to super hot guys and approaching them and like putting yourself out there and wearing your heart on your sleeve and saying, hey, I thought you were cute, had to come meet you.

10:40 So what you say means nothing to me because I'm internally validated. I'm the dude with the sword and the shield who's in this fight. You on the cliffside watching me do so, judging me, drinking your wine and eating your bread and trying to convince your ego that you're superior to me because you can spew down judgment upon me. No, no, no, no, no. You do not get the right to judge me. So I'm not going to even fucking listen to what you have to say. Delete.

11:06 Goodbye. Kick rocks with your head down. And for God's sakes, if you don't like what I'm doing, then fuck off. Step back and fuck your own mouth because your opinion doesn't fucking matter. And this is the way I want you boys to think about everybody who is hating on you and spewing negativity towards you and criticism. Step back and fuck your own mouth because your opinion doesn't matter. You're not in the arena with me. You don't have a blood soaked smile as you stare down on your hands and knees into that sand.

11:34 As the dripping blood pools below you and you say, get the fuck up. Let's do this again. And you rise back to your feet and you take the next challenge and you look forward to those failures because, you know, the more failures you can stack, the quicker you're going to get to success. You open 10 girls and you get rejected by eight. I guarantee you're going to get two phone numbers and you're probably going to have sex with both of them. It's all about numbers and it's all about not taking those criticisms and failures so seriously because you're the man in the arena.

12:04 It's the effort that matters, not the results. So what effort are you putting out? Are you putting yourself out there or are you so scared of the cheap seats that you're not even genuinely lighting yourself on fire and letting other people watch you burn? It takes courage to become successful. If you want to be that multimillionaire, you want to be that girl magnet, you want to get everything that you desire. You have to face your fears and step right into them and realize that they are an illusion and they will have so little effect on you.

12:35 You will be surprised and dazzled once you actually face them. Fear is false evidence appearing real. It means nothing. And the more hatred you get, the better you should feel about yourself because hatred is a sign of success. That's right, boys. How many haters do you have? You listening, how many haters do you have? That is quantifiably directly related to your amount of success in life. Few haters, little success. Tons of haters, tons of success. The bigger the man, the bigger the problems, the more haters come along with them.

13:07 So I look at haters as a coliseum full of success. All those cheap seats that I can barely see down here as I stand in the sand of the arena. I'm looking up and I see all those plebs screaming down at me and I just smile and I say, hell yeah, there's a lot of them, bro. Which means I have a lot of success. It was that most successful gladiator that drew the most haters to him, wasn't it? It's that most successful dirt bike rider, that most successful quarterback, that most successful Premier League football player, that most successful rugby player, cricket player, choose your sport.

13:43 Think about the most successful guys in the world. And you know what they're doing? They're laughing all the way to the bank because they are successful and they know that all the haters are spewing negativity at them. And they're like, yeah, man, the more negativity, the more my bank account grows. So why the fuck not? I invite it. I laugh at it. And yes, these guys are laughing all the way to the bank. And this is the way I need you to think, brother, because if you want to get to that highest level, you have to embrace the haters.

14:09 Take it as a compliment. When they're trying to bring you down, it's probably because you're doing something right. It's one of my favorite quotes that I continue to tell myself again and again and again, because I'm growing big, man. Like this podcast is exploding and the haters are funneling into my inbox. Fortunately, it's an infinitesimally small amount compared to the amount. And I love that I get from you champions, which motivates me to continue doing this, by the way, is when you guys write me and you're like, dude, thank you so much.

14:37 That hits hard, man. And those are the things I take seriously because I know that you're in the arena with me. But the more haters I get, the more I know I'm successful. So I take it as a compliment. And it's that quote. When they're trying to bring you down, it's probably because you're doing something right. So go get the haters, brother. Go collect them up. And if somebody laughs at you for approaching a girl or judges you, or you just feel like they're watching you and judging you, it's because they're cowards and they don't have the intestinal fortitude to do it themselves.

15:08 So it's a pleb, brother. That dude is in the cheap seats. Send them up there. Don't listen to what he says and put him there knowing that the fact that he's there is a testament to your success. So the more you get laughed at, the more you get criticized, the more you get hatred, people saying negative things about you, trying to correct you, trying to make you do what they want to do and get you off your path. I want you to smile, a wry smile to yourself like a Spartan after battle who a little girl comes up to him and says, oh my God, your helmet is so stupid.

15:39 And he doesn't even look down at her with his entire head. He just looks down at her with his eyes and he gives a little wry smile and a little chuckle. That's what you do to the haters, man. Because the more you succeed, the more you're going to get. So this is what you do. Delete. Next, please. The only people who are allowed to criticize you, and I call it constructive criticism, are those who are in the arena with you, fighting shoulder to shoulder with you as brothers, smirking through their blood, sweat, and tears, and taking on the next challenge fearlessly.

16:10 Because fear is nothing but false evidence appearing real. So haters, I know you're all pissed off right now, bro. I know you're stewing and you're getting ready to spend your time to email a guy like me to criticize me and tell me that I'm a piece of shit. What you're really saying is that you're a piece of shit. Everything you say to me is exactly what you think about you. Because nobody who's successful and happy would ever spend their precious time hating on another person. Literally, I hate on nobody.

16:40 Nobody at all. I want to see guys succeed. I want to bring people up. And when someone's succeeding, I say, yeah, man, you're fucking killing it. Like Trip Kramer, my boy, who's technically, quote unquote, my competition. He's crushing it on IG. And I texted him the other day and I'm like, dude, you're crushing it, man. Keep it up, brother. Go, go, go. Get some. Because when you're successful, you want other people to succeed. So don't take the criticism seriously. It's only a testament about themselves. And the more they're trying to hate on you, the more it shows that you're successful.

17:12 So collect up the haters, man. It's nothing but evidence of your success. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you. That's right. In the next episode. I'll see you next time.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.