7 Actions You Can Take TODAY to Become an UNAPOLOGETIC MAN

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And today, gentlemen, we are going to talk about what it means to be an unapologetic man. Now, oftentimes in society, a lot of you guys, as was I, are the nice guys. You placate to people. You are agreeable. You do people favors. You don't want to rock the boat because somewhere in your childhood, you were taught that to ask for things that you deserve, to receive things, to do things that are quote-unquote socially unacceptable is bad.

0:48 Don't want to do that. Don't want to rock the boat. Be a good little kid and do as you're told. You see posts on Instagram all the time about Japan. And a lot of you guys know I lived in Japan for four years. There was a post I saw the other day where everybody who was in the train station was walking up the stairs on the right-hand side because, according to the rules, the right side is the only side you should be on to walk up the goddamn stairs.

1:11 So everybody does it, even though the left side was completely open. Wouldn't be that big of a deal if you walked up the left side and there was a gigantic line of people going up the right side, thus taking longer. So in the United States, people would be like, fuck it, dude. I'm just going to go on the left side. But here's the thing. As we respect those things in Japan that make people follow the rules, and I'll tell you, they follow the rules to a T.

1:36 A lot of Japanese people are very agreeable. They have very weak frames. They're afraid of confrontation. I forget how it goes in Japanese. I forget exactly what the terminology is. But there's a saying that says, the nail that is sticking out always gets hammered in. Forget the Japanese. I forgot a lot of my Japanese, probably like 80% of it. I forget exactly how it goes, but that's the saying, that the nail that sticks out always gets hammered in. Now, while that's good and may work in Japan, it doesn't really make you more attractive to women.

2:07 It doesn't really make you successful. One of the things I noticed when I was living in Japan is those kids, because I taught English in middle schools, those kids that pushed the norm a little bit, who were outspoken, they had their own individuality, they weren't afraid of the rules the way the other kids were. Those kids were usually the most successful, and more importantly, the most respected. So I want to ask you, yes, you the listener, how agreeable are you? How much of a nice guy are you?

2:35 Do you do people favors? Are you afraid of confrontation? If there's a big-ass line, would you be afraid to try to cut in it? Even if you do as I do, and this is gangster, you got to steal this from me, I go up to the front of long lines, and I hit up some dude who looks cool. I'm like, hey, bro, how's it going? And as I'm walking up the line, let's say it's like a line at Disneyland that's going back and forth, like it's a big-ass line through chains and shit.

3:00 I'll just pass everybody and say, hey, sorry, my friend's up front. And I'll get to somebody, and I'll be like, hey, bro, how's it going, man? He's like, hey. And I act as if I know him, but he doesn't know me. And I'll be like, hey, bro, if I give you 20 bucks, would you just let me kind of slip in here with you? Every single time they say yes. Do you guys understand how many hours I've saved by doing that? I want to ask you, would you do that?

3:20 Would you ask to cut in line? Would you ask for a rebate? Would you do some shit that may make somebody uncomfortable, but in the end, have them respect you more? And yes, gentlemen, have women get more attracted to you. Would you do that? I'm going to challenge you in today's episode by giving you seven actions you can take, probably more like nine, to become that unapologetic man. Before we jump into the content, quick announcement. As I've said previously, on Monday, this coming Monday, not today, obviously, but next Monday, I have a gigantic announcement that I know every single one of you guys are going to want to hear.

3:56 So come back to the podcast, check that out. You are not going to want to miss this. And it's a time-sensitive thing. So I need you guys to listen on Monday because if you don't get to it by Monday, the huge announcement may be off the table. So I really want to build the hype around this. I want you guys to know that this is so unbelievably sick. I really want you guys to show up next Monday because this is ginormous. Second thing, I really appreciate all you guys leaving comments on my Spotify episodes.

4:25 I've seen a lot of you guys do that already. Don't forget, if you leave any comment whatsoever, because I ask on my Spotify episodes, what'd you think of the episode? If you could go through multiple episodes and give a comment, preferably a positive comment, email me at coachmarksting at gmail.com and I will send you a bunch of cool shit. All right, gentlemen, without further ado, let's get into the content. So the first thing I want to let you know about becoming an unapologetic man is that you got to break some social norms.

4:50 As I talked about in Japan, it's all social norms. That's all the fucking place is. Everybody's like kind of a robot doing as they should do because they're embarrassed and afraid and really look at that. They're afraid of breaking the social norms. But as an unapologetic man, I want you to break social norms, provided you don't create suffering for another. And that's always my parameter. Is what I'm doing causing suffering for another or is what I'm doing creating peace for another as well as for myself?

5:22 So does it create suffering for both the other person and me or does it create peace both for the other person and me? If it's the peace one, I'm not afraid to do it. Okay, I'm not afraid to go up to the front of a line, as I said, and be like, hey, bro, could I kick you 20 bucks? Homeboy made 20 bucks. He made a good friend and everybody behind me, their life doesn't change that much. And frankly, they should have the balls to do the same thing.

5:44 Many times I've been in places like Qdoba or like Pizza Hut or Jamba Juice or whatever. And I'll look at the people in the line and I'll just be like, hey, guys, I got to get out here in a second. Is it cool if I just jump in and I'm going to give this person a $5 tip on top of it? Would you be cool with that? They always say yes. Why do they say yes? Because they're afraid of social pressure. They don't want the social pressure that I want you guys to purposely put on yourself.

6:09 Why do we purposely put social pressure on ourselves? The reason is, is because when you're good at enduring social pressure, you can take the pressure of what is the most high pressure thing you will ever do talking to a super fine girl. The reason a lot of you guys get stifled, go into screensaver mode, can't think on your feet, is because you're not used to taking social pressure. You're not used to breaking norms, thereby understanding what it means to have that social embarrassment, have that pressure on you, and thus you can think on your feet.

6:40 It's systematic exposure to social pressure. Thus, the adrenaline that dumps in your head doesn't affect you nearly as much. You can think on your feet. You can get that girl attracted to you. Furthermore, when a hot girl sees that you're unaffected by her hotness, she will immediately get attracted to you. This too is why it's easier to yank a really hot girl, I'm talking nine or a 10, than it is a seven or an eight. A seven, especially, has been hit on so many times, she's got this defense up and she's going to fucking test you.

7:11 A 10 hardly ever gets hit on because most guys are cowardly. They don't want to do it and she's not used to being hit on. So if you could just be completely normal, usually you'll yank her phone number. Even if you are talking about politics, religion, and the weather and have a horrible conversation, if you're just chill, you don't give a shit what happens, you're taking the social pressure, she will get attracted to you. So number one is to break those social norms. And here's something I love to do and I want to challenge you to do this.

7:38 Try to get a girl who's in worker mode, out of worker mode and into personal mode. And here's what I mean. You guys know when you go to Starbucks, you go to Jamba Juice, you go to the doctor's office, you go to the supermarket, they're always like in this worker mode. How are you today? Oh, I'm good. And you, and they want to be professional. The more professional the chick, the more I push her into trying to just jive with me to get into normal mode.

8:06 And I'll do this with everybody. It's my standard protocol anywhere I go. I just want to bro out with them. I just want to be friends and I want to get them out of that bullshit mode because it's a societal expectation that I want to put pressure on them to break out of, thus putting pressure on myself. So a girl's helping me at checkout. I always say, as a lot of you guys know, what's up, Kelly? You have to choke anybody out yet? Now that is an unfamiliar approach that she never gets.

8:33 What does she get? Oh, how's your day today? Oh, good. Did you find everything you're looking for? Yes. And then I come in with this unique strategy to break her out of that professional role that she's playing. And then I can get more in with her and put social pressure on the situation and oftentimes get them attracted to me. See, an attractive guy isn't afraid to break out of those social norms and just lighten everything up. Have fun with people. You don't always have to be so fucking rigid and nervous and professional.

9:03 You could just have a good time. A lot of the companies that I work with for this business, I'll often just say shit that makes them laugh. And they're like, dude, I love having you as a client. You're not always like so anal. You're always like saying funny shit. My CPA and I were talking today and one of the retirement investment companies that I put my money into made a fucking huge mistake and we decided to fire them. So I told her, I was like, let's give them the right foot of fellowship to the fucking forehead.

9:29 And I wrote that to her in an email. She's like, God, I love you as a client. You're always just messing around. You're funny. You break those social norms. And that's what makes people like you. So the first one, gentlemen, is to break social norms. Try to get a girl out of professional mode and into personal mode. That's my challenge for you. The second one, as I mentioned, is to cut in line. Ask people, hey, could I jump in line? I'm in a big hurry right now.

9:52 Hey, do you mind if I take your spot? Here's 20 bucks. Can I get in front of these 400 idiots who don't have the courage to cut in line so that I can get in there? Now, some of you may be thinking like, dude, you should just follow because if you don't, then it's going to create panic and pandemonium in society. No, it won't. I'm not worried about society sticking to the norm. I'm worried about you becoming an alpha male, becoming successful and attractive. Those people who are the most successful in the world are those who break norms.

10:20 Do you know why the school system was created in like the 1920s or whatever? It was to create workers, to make us into worker bees. I'm not going to be that dude. And I suspect if you're listening to a podcast like this one, you aren't either. Society needs guys like us who go against the rules because we're the ones who are innovators. We are the ones who are going to take the society to the next level so that the worker bees who are too afraid to go outside those social parameters can keep the system going.

10:49 If you want to be a worker bee and if you feel adverse to what I'm saying, fine, bro. Be the worker bee. But I suspect you want to be that next level dude who follows his own lead. And that takes us to number three. Don't apologize for your attraction to women. Don't apologize for it. Be proud of it. Approach women unapologetically. And that is my biggest challenge to you today. A lot of us have so much fear of rejection that we won't even go approach girls.

11:16 We rely on the dating apps or meeting a girl through friends or hopefully I'm in the nightclub one night and if I go stand over by this girl with my back to her, maybe she'll bump into me and then I can get into a conversation. All that shit's cowardly, bro. That's what all the other fucking sheep do. Be a wolf up in this motherfucker and go approach. I'm going to do a podcast about why women want to be approached, how they're bored out of their minds and how when you approach them, they're going to text their mom, their best friend, their cousin, the freaking vice president of the United States about how awesome it was that this random guy approached them.

11:50 Yes, even if they have a boyfriend and yes, even if you weren't their type. So go approach women, gentlemen. That is number three out of seven. The next one, number four, is to be disagreeable. Be disagreeable. If somebody says some shit that you don't agree with, tell them and don't do it in a negative way. I don't want you guys to misinterpret. When somebody says something that you don't agree with, say it, say your point and argue it with calmness and I don't give a shit what you think mentality.

12:22 As you're talking to the person, they're going to say something you don't agree with, particularly women. Say, hey, I don't agree with that. And this is my rationale. If she gets mad and you don't, who's controlling the frame? Remember this, the person who's the least reactive, the most on their interstate of centeredness is the one who's controlling the frame. And this is part of the reason I am purposely disagreeable with women is so that I can show them, whoa, you're kind of coming unpeeled. I'm completely centered right now.

12:50 Relax. We're just having a conversation, which will make her more attracted to you. Sometimes you guys will be in a situation where you're dating a girl. And let's say you pick her up, she gets in your car and she's being really bitchy for whatever reason. Unfortunately, a lot of us will just take it. We'll be like, man, I want the pussy. So I'm just going to fucking deal with it. That is not the right move. What you should do is flip a bitch. That means do a U-turn in American slang and drop her the fuck off and say, beat it.

13:18 You see, donkey, kick rocks with your head down. Get back up in that apartment. We're done today. Oh my God, why? Because you're being negative. You're being really, really negative and I'm not dealing with it. Beat it. And then she's going to be like, I'm sorry. Just X, Y, Z, whatever her reasoning is. And then 20 minutes later, you're going to have sex with her. Because being disagreeable and not apologizing for it is the mark of an attractive man. Now, guys, don't get it twisted. I'm not saying to be a dick.

13:44 I'm not saying to go out there and have purposeful confrontation. I'm saying stand the fuck up for yourself. If you don't agree with something, speak up about it. And for God's sakes, don't be negative. Don't be reactive. Don't be pissed off. Because a pissed off man is what? A guy with a weak frame, a weak sense of reality. Anybody gets pissed off at you, you just realize that you got into his frame. He has a weak frame because he's not able to deal with it. So this is all calm.

14:11 We're cool. May even smile. She's being really negative when she gets in the car. You just smile and you feel like, hey, listen, I'm not dealing with this right now. Let's take you home. And then they apologize. They realize who's controlling the frame. And again, you're getting the sick duck five minutes later as you're driving, which has happened to not only me, but my clients many times when they become an unapologetic man. The next one is, again, outside social norms, but it may not be what you think it is.

14:38 Here it is. Do random acts of kindness. Random acts of kindness. There is a myriad of reasons you should do this, one of which is what you put out there comes back to you. But I like to be the dude who goes against the societal norm of selfishness, of being only in it for myself. I like to give more than I ask for in return. I like to deliver value. I like to wow my clients when they come into my coaching program by hitting them with shit they never even expected.

15:09 I like to go up to girls and give them the best conversation they've ever had without trying to get their sex, lo and behold. So when you go through life, when you give value, it's the law of cause and effect. What you do to another, you do to yourself. And even bigger, boys, and I was thinking about recording a podcast called The Secret of Life. Here it is, and I might do it again in the future. The secret of life is treat others as you want to be treated, and you will get exactly what you want.

15:36 You want love? Give love. You want to laugh? Give laughter. You want to smile? Give a smile. You want money? Give money. Even if you don't have two nickels to rub together in your pocket. This is the way it works. I'm telling you. Every time I give a bum $20, $50, $100, it's like I get a huge sale, and I get 10x back. And this is all from the Bible, as well as other religions. I'm not Christian, but there's a shit ton of wisdom in the Bible, and you guys have to agree with that.

16:03 I don't care how atheist you are. There is a lot of wisdom in there, which says, what you give, you get back 7x. I think it says, don't quote me on that, but this one you can quote me on. What you do for another, you do for yourself. It's right there in probably one of the wisest books you'll ever read, as well as the Tao Te Ching, as well as the Upanishads, as well as the Bhagavad Gita, and every other spiritual text, which says this truth.

16:28 Random acts of kindness come back to you, but also going against the norm. I'm going to help somebody out that shouldn't be helped. I'm going to give props to a dude who's being an asshole. I am going to help out somebody who shouldn't be helped by society's norms, because I'm a rule breaker. I follow my own lead. Walk further than those who have walked all over you. This is the mark of an unapologetic alpha silverback, and I want to suggest that you guys do the same thing.

16:56 The next one is to use your charisma and charms to try to get free shit. Ask for free things. Ask for discounts. Ask for upgrades. I always ask for a discount, even though I don't really need one. I just like to ask. Last night, I was at this trampoline place. I think it's called Jump Street or Urban Air or some shit, and they sell you socks. It's such an awesome marketing ploy to sell you special socks that you need to go in the trampoline park. So we get in these socks, and I have 50,000 pairs of them at home, and I forgot them.

17:24 So I tell the chick, hey, just throw them in today. Come on. We've bought 100 pairs. You've seen me here a million times. Just throw them in today. And it was that assumptive close, like, hey, throw them in. And she did. I always get hookups because I ask. So I'm challenging you to simply ask for shit. You will be amazed at what you get. So I'm encouraging you to simply ask for shit. Ask for a booth when they try to take you to a table at a restaurant.

17:49 Ask for the window seat when everybody else wants the window seat. Try to get the good spot anywhere you go. Try to get hooked up when it comes to parking spots. Here's a quick tip that I always do when I go to the motocross. So what I do is I pull up to the first dude I see who's in charge of the parking. And I say, hey, bro, I used to work here. What's the manager's name now? And he's like, oh, Mike Smith. And I'm like, yeah, it's a different guy.

18:11 Anyway, bro, keep up the good work, and I might even slap him five bucks. Then I go up to the next parking guy, and I say, hey, bro, I used to work here. Is Mike Smith still the manager? And he's like, yeah, he is. And I'm like, hey, listen, dude, since I used to work here, can I just go ahead and slip into the VIP spot? Guys, eight out of 10 times, they're like, yeah, for sure. Now, again, some of you people will get really butthead. You're like, oh, he's manipulating.

18:31 He's fucking bending the rules. I question you and you following the rules the way you are. Be a rule breaker, man. Follow your own lead. And once again, is it creating suffering for anybody? Fuck no. Especially when I tip people all the time. I give value, charisma bombs, make the guy feel good. No way. It's giving value. It's not taking. And I get awesome parking spots. I get to cut in line. I get rebates. I got so many hookups, as a lot of you guys do as well, because I know a lot of you guys already do this.

18:59 The next one, gentlemen, and I want you to stay tuned until the end, because the last one is really good, is if somebody gets offended by what you say, and you don't feel like they're being offended is justifiable, don't apologize. This is called the Unapologetic Man Podcast, but make no mistake, if I accidentally give somebody the right foot of fellowship into their jawbone accidentally, as I'm in the mosh pit fucking getting down, I'll be like, hey, bro, I'm sorry. But if a girl gets offended, such as if I say, do you like to travel?

19:28 And she says yes, and then I push her and she gets all offended. I don't apologize. Oh, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Because to me, it's unrational. It doesn't make sense that she's getting offended. She's getting butthurt because she's sensitive. She's the issue, not me. So other than apologizing, rationalize. Don't apologize, rationalize. Hey, I didn't realize that you would get offended by that. Knowing that that kind of humor offends you, I'll avoid it moving forward. That's the closest I get to an apology when somebody reacts negatively to something that to me, they shouldn't react negatively to.

20:02 It's kind of like the trigger words bullshit. The second I saw that in modern media, I was like, this is dangerous, massively dangerous. Because if you teach people that they could get offended by what other people say, you are teaching people weakness, utter despicable weakness, in my opinion. If you can't take what other people say, you're a fucking pussy. And this is from a guy who gets more hate mail than you guys would ever believe. And I don't get offended by it. I know that that person is suffering to a great degree, and it doesn't affect me.

20:34 It's not a statement about me, like, oh, you're an idiot. Your forehead is big. Whatever the shit that they talk, I know it's about them. The more somebody talks shit to you, the more they hate themselves. And don't apologize to somebody who gets butthurt if you just say your opinion. Now, obviously, boys, this requires a certain amount of social intelligence to be cognizant of other people's feelings, be cool, as I say, give value. But if you say something innocuous, such as your opinion, let's say you're a Republican and a Democrat girl gets all pissed off, or you're a Democrat girl and a Republican guy gets all pissed off, whatever it is, just be like, dude, I'm afraid I can't help you with that.

21:11 You have your opinion. That's great. That's the purpose of being human, is to have your own opinion, pave your own way. But don't get butthurt about what I say, and I'm not going to apologize for it. I will apologize when I've done somebody wrong, created suffering that was not created by their own weakness, if that makes sense. But I'm certainly not going to apologize outside of those things that I feel I should apologize for. Now, you may ask me, well, like, what should I apologize for or not apologize for?

21:38 That's for your frame to decide. Be unapologetic about your beliefs. Stand by them. If you don't feel it justifies an apology, don't do it. Just say, hey, I didn't realize it would affect you like that. Now that I know that, I'll avoid that kind of talk moving forward. That, to me, is still respecting them, but not saying that I'm wrong and apologizing for what I said, because you're allowed to have your opinion. Yes, even if you think I'm a schmuck and you hate my fucking podcast, have the opinion.

22:03 It doesn't have anything to do with me. It has to do with you. The final one, gentlemen, is to ask women why questions. A guy who's unapologetic, if he doesn't understand why somebody's doing something, he'll ask, why are you drinking that? Why are you dressed in that outfit when it's three degrees outside? Why are you living in that area? Why do you choose to drive that kind of car? Why did you become a nurse when it's only going to pay you $47,000 a year? I legit don't understand why a lot of people will take jobs that pay so little.

22:33 I just don't. If you have a job that pays little, hey, man, I respect that you're probably doing something you love, but I don't get it. I want to have a job that rewards me handsomely. Why? Because I'm going to put in 40 hours a week and do my best regardless. Might as well get paid for it. A lot of people say, oh, I don't want to try to become an entrepreneur and become wealthy or do a job that pays a lot of money because it's more work.

22:55 It's not. I work 40 hours a week just like everybody else, but I guarantee you, I get paid a whole lot more than if I followed my other dream of being a paratrooper, which is something that I wanted to do. I decided to go a different route. And listen, if you're in the army, the military, or get a job that pays you $47,000 a year, own it, bro. That's your decision. But to me, I want to make as much money as possible. That's just my value. That's just my frame.

23:19 And I stand by it. And if that offends you, I'm afraid I can't help you with that. Just like if you have a job that you stand by and you say, oh, money doesn't matter. Tell me, Mark, I'm afraid I can't help you with that. I disagree with you. And that's what an unapologetic man does. So ask why questions. Why are you doing that? Why did you just say that? Why are you behaving this way? I don't understand. Explain it to me. Do you understand, boys, that when you ask somebody why and they explain themselves to you, you're controlling the frame?

23:48 Because now they're essentially trying to prove themselves to you, prove their point to you. So asking why questions is really, really powerful. And it is the mark of an unapologetic man. Let's go over these ones. I think I gave you about eight, maybe nine. Break social norms. Try to get a girl who's in business mode into personal mode. That one's really fun. Cut in line. Ask the cut in line. Be the dude who isn't afraid to try to save yourself some time. I don't know why people don't do this.

24:16 Don't apologize for your attraction to women. Be proud of it. Go approach. Be proud of your sexuality. Be proud of the fact that you want to have sex with women. That's your nature, brother. And you should own it. Be disagreeable. You don't agree with somebody, let them know. The next one is to do random acts of kindness. The next one is to use charisma to get deals and hookups. Example of parking at the motocross. Ask for the booth. Ask for the window seat. Ask for the good spot.

24:42 Or try to get it for somebody else giving value. If somebody gets offended by what you say, don't apologize. Rationalize. Unless, of course, you have caused them suffering outside of what can only be described as their own weakness. And finally, boys, ask why questions. When you ask women, why are you doing that? Why did you make that decision? It puts you in the dominant frame and makes them more attracted to you. So that was seven actions you can take today. Probably more like eight or nine to become an unapologetic man.

25:12 I challenge each of you guys in 2024 to follow your own lead. Don't apologize for who you are. Be that norm breaker because it's the norm breakers that are the most successful. Both with money as well as, and perhaps more importantly, with women. Gentlemen, I really do appreciate you listening. As a reminder, on Monday, I have a gigantic announcement. So please come back for that. In the meantime, I got another awesome one dropping on Thursday. So also please stay tuned for that. And I will see you in the next episode.

25:42 We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.