7 Signs a Girl is NOT INTERESTED in Talking to You!!!

0:00 License and registration, please. Hey, officer. I know I was speeding. I sincerely apologize for that. Just lost track of everything and I was just going. First name, sir. Yeah, my name is interesting. It's actually Arabic in origin. It's free to. Last name, go, sir. You're free to go, sir. Thank you, officer. I appreciate it. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP.

0:43 I really do appreciate you. And today, we are going to talk about some of the most common signs that a woman is not interested in you. One of the biggest complaints I get from both my female friends, as well as women that I've dated, is that a lot of guys can't take the hint. Now, I've procrastinated on recording this episode because I don't want to dissuade you guys from approaching women. I don't want to make you feel like women don't want you to approach them because a recent study actually found that 83% of women want you to make the first approach and the other 17% are very open to it if you do it in the right way.

1:21 So there's actually a movement in today's society that I don't want to encourage. And that movement is toxic masculinity. Men shouldn't approach women. Don't bother us. We're going to cancel you. We're going to make you feel like a complete sea donkey if you try to approach us. And I really want to fight against that narrative. That's why my podcast is called The Unapologetic Man Podcast is because I don't want you guys to apologize for A, being attracted to a woman, and B, going to approach her.

1:49 I want you guys approaching as many women as possible. Don't be ashamed of your sexuality. Don't be ashamed that you're attracted to her. And for God's sakes, don't be ashamed of you just going to speak to a woman who you find beautiful and interesting. That's your job as a man. And there's a big movement in today's society that has less and less men doing it. Did you know that 50% of men are definitely afraid of being rejected? And 50% of men, think about this, 50% of people out there don't approach at all.

2:20 So what are we going to do? Women say that they want to be approached, but there's a big movement saying, no, don't approach us because we're going to cancel you, which by the way, is an infinitesimally small sliver of the population that says, ew, don't approach us, toxic masculinity. But there's this whole movement happening where it's convincing us not to approach. So as I do this episode, I really want to lay the foundation that as long as you read these signs, as long as you're even somewhat cognizant of how she's feeling and how she's behaving, you're going to be fine.

2:53 You can still approach women. You can still state your intentions. You can still go out there and be a fucking man and approach girls the way you're designed to do. Because this whole movement that says, no, don't approach us because we're going to cancel you or just stick to the dating apps where all there is are sea donkeys, canyon mules, and mountain trolls on those fucking things. We are putting ourselves in a situation where we're not able to meet high quality women and high quality women aren't being met.

3:21 And this too is why 20% of the guys get 80% of the women. Because 20% of the guys have the confidence, have the self-esteem and are able and willing to approach women in an effective way to get them attracted to them. And I want to help you guys become part of that 20%. So as we go into this, I want to encourage you to approach, but just look for these signs because if she's giving these to you, then you want to eject and go talk to somebody else. And many guys, as my female friends can attest, as well as many women that I've dated, just don't get the hint, right?

3:56 They just stick in there. They keep going. So to them, it seems like it's one extreme or the other. Either he's too nice and not bold enough, or he's over the top bold, just goes too far and won't fucking leave, right? And the reason I thought of this is because I saw a guy at the nightclub the other day that just didn't get the hint. I could tell by the females he was talking to that they were not into it, okay? They were doing certain things, which I'm going to explain to you, and make sure you stay tuned until the end to listen to this, that we're telegraphing to him, dude, we're not into this.

4:23 All we want to do is talk to each other, but he wasn't getting it. He wasn't picking up on the signs. So the first thing I want to say is I want you guys to be persistent. First of all, I want you to be persistent against your own fears of rejection. Dude, you got to fucking just push through it. What is discipline? Discipline is acting on your higher motives, not your lesser motive. If your higher motive is to get good with women and your lesser motive is the fear of rejection, then you got to act on your motherfucking higher motive and go approach chicks regardless of what happens.

4:59 You have to literally not care and say to yourself, look, discipline is acting on the higher motive, not the lesser motive. I'm not going to let fear, procrastination, feminine energy, prevent me from approaching these chicks. So I'm just going to do it. What will happen will happen. Where the chips fall is where the chips fall. And I always want you guys, and this is really important. I want you to listen. I always want you to reward yourself on the effort, not the results. Quick side note.

5:27 When you reward kids on their effort rather than their skill set, they become high achievers. Think about this. When a kid comes home with an A on his homework, and instead of saying, oh, Billy, you're so smart. You're so talented. You're just born a natural A student. You instead say, Billy, you studied so hard. You really tried your best. I know you stayed up late last night in order to study for this test. You are a champion because you put in the effort. When you reward on the effort rather than the result or the natural skill set, that's where people become high achievers.

6:04 So let's take that and apply this to women. When you reward yourself on the effort rather than the result, and the effort is, did I go up to talk to her? Did I face my fears like a goddamn warrior? No matter what she said, that's where you reward yourself. So as we go into this topic, I want you to think to yourself, first of all, her reaction doesn't matter, and it says nothing about me. My effort is what matters. Did I have the courage to approach her?

6:27 Did I have the tenacity to overcome my own approach anxiety in order to go up to that girl? And whether or not she liked me, didn't like me, rejected me, it doesn't matter because I always base my self-respect on the effort, not the result. Now, as we go out to speak to women, I always tell you and I tell my clients this, be a little bit persistent. Okay, what is the definition of a little bit persistent? Mark, that makes no sense. Like, does that mean sticking for 10 minutes?

6:56 Does it mean take six rejections? What does it mean to be a little bit persistent? What that means to me is about one to two no's. And when I say that, it's referring to the first 30 seconds to a minute. So when you first approach a woman, we can only expect that she's going to be off guard. She's going to be a little bit uncomfortable. She's going to be giving us signs that she's not interested. I don't want you to misinterpret those signs that she's not interested for you to just eject before she can reject you is something I would say.

7:27 So I don't want you to misinterpret. What we have to do is stick in there for a good 30 seconds to a minute and we might get some seeming no's out of that. But I want you to stick in because she has to get used to you. Now, after 30 seconds to a minute has gone by and she's still kind of giving you those no's, that off-put body language, those short answers, the looks on her face like you just sprayed her table with shit mist, then you need to excuse yourself.

7:58 And this is where guys go too far. So what I always do is I tell myself, look, I'm going to stick in there for 30 seconds to a minute. I'm going to get maybe one no, maybe two, and I'll stick in there. And then if it continues, then I'll just leave. Because oftentimes the first no, and this is where it gets difficult too, because I know some women may be listening and they're like, God, if I give a guy one no, I just want him to leave.

8:20 Ladies, that's not always true. Okay. And I have a mountain of evidence for this, not only through my own experience, but my girlfriends say this. I have clients that say this. I have friends that say this. We have been in the trenches for literally decades. So please trust our experience on this one, because I'm telling you, this is how it works. Many times women will test you to see if you're willing to get through that first hurdle. It's called the frame check. I teach in my coaching frame control.

8:50 You guys hear me talk about it all the time. One of the ways that women frame check you is by being aloof, by saying, Oh, we're not interested or even go away. And if you just stick in there a little bit longer and laugh it off, make a joke, turn it around on her. Oftentimes you'll blow through that bitch shield that she puts up essentially to test you. Now there's always the option that if she does say no, or she just seems extremely uninterested when you first approach, you just bail.

9:16 And once again, brothers, you put your feelings of success on the effort, not the result. Her reaction does not matter. As far as your own internal validation is concerned, it doesn't matter. Could be a myriad of reasons why she rejected you. She could have just had a fight with her ex-boyfriend. She's still in love with her ex-boyfriend. She's sprung on another dude. You just aren't her type. Like she's obsessed with Asian dudes. And you happen to be a white dude like me and you just don't meet her template of what she wants.

9:44 So we never take it personally because it literally has nothing to do with you. We don't know what she likes. We don't know what her taste is. We don't know what her current situation is. So don't blow yourself out, bro. Like don't always take it personally. It's not you. It's her. Now we've gone through the first minute. Okay. And she's still giving us those signs that she's not attracted. So we're going to look into what are some of those signs and when to eject before you actually piss her off.

10:12 We don't want to get to the point where we piss her off. We want to get to the point where we are sticking in there, but we take the signs once we get several of them and then we eject. And we do so nicely. We never get pissed off. Why? Because getting pissed off shows that you have a weak frame, a weak sense of reality. If somebody can affect you like that, what is life going to do to you? The big thing that you need to remember about frame control is no outside circumstances can affect you negatively.

10:41 Now this is like Buddha level shit. This is like the tippity top level, but that's where I want all you guys to strive to. Do you get pissed off easily? Do you get butt hurt easily? Do you take things personally and always attack yourself after somebody rejects you? That shows a weak frame. That shows that you don't have enough internal validation. You don't have enough masculinity and the fuck it attitude. I'm unapologetic about who I am to be able to persevere past that. And that's an issue.

11:13 Now I'm not saying that you should feel bad about that issue because that's just more negativity, but it is an issue. And where does it reside? Inside your head. And this is why we use NLP to remove those belief systems, archetypes and schemas that when you're rejected, you take it personally and you're like, oh, I'm not enough, dude. She blew me out. She blew me out so hard. My toupee flew off my head when the concussion hit. And now I'm just a piece of shit. I'm going to go home and masturbate in a puddle of my own tears.

11:40 Don't be that dude. Internal validation. I'm a fucking Spartiate. I am in the band of brothers. I am a freaking soldier. And what she thinks of me doesn't matter because I had the courage to go up and talk to her. All right, finally, here we are about 15 minutes and I had to lay a big foundation before I tell you guys what signs to look for. It's very obvious in my opinion. You guys ever been in a conversation where you're talking to a dude and he just doesn't get the hint.

12:08 You're like, yeah, bro. Anyway, I got to get going. He's like, yeah, yeah. So anyway, and he keeps talking to you. We call it being rolfed between me and my friends because we used to have this professor in school named Dr. Rolf and he would just talk and talk and talk and you couldn't get away from the dude. Do you guys know anybody like this where he just rolfs your ass and you're like, bro, I need to go. And he's like, yeah, yeah. So anyway, and he keeps going.

12:28 You don't want to be that guy. So the first sign, the obvious sign is that she's giving you short answers. Okay. She's like, yeah, uh-huh. Okay. Second sign is her body language is turned away from you. Think about it. If a girl's interested, she's going to point her toes towards you. She's going to have open body language. She's going to be smiling, leaning in. She's going to be involved in the conversation. She's going to offer up conversational pieces, conversational threads that she wants to continue on.

12:55 If she's turned her body language away from you and she's giving you short one word answers, that's a major red flag. Stick in there a little bit. But if that continues, just be like, hey, you're obviously not interested in talking. Anyway, I hope you have a good night and then dig out. The next one is sum up statements. And this is something that I do when I'm getting rolfed by a dude. I make sum up statements. And a sum up statement is basically when somebody's speaking to you, you sum up what they said in order to close down the conversational thread.

13:27 That rhymed. And I really enjoyed that. So somebody's talking to me about some trip they took to Africa. And this actually happened. This chick like broke out all these pictures and was showing me. I'm like, dude, I don't give a fuck about your trip. Everybody thinks we care about their goddamn trips and the food that they're eating. And they're posting a bunch of pictures of their egg sandwich on Instagram. I give a fuck, bro. I do not care. So don't show me that shit. So she's like showing me all these pictures and I'm like, hey, that trip looks really awesome.

13:56 Hopefully you get to go there sometime in the future too. And that's a sum up statement trying to sum up that thread, put a clip on it, stop it, put a cul-de-sac on that motherfucker so that she has to turn around and stop talking about it. But sure enough, homegirl just keeps going on and on. And then we ate days and these people sang for us and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, dude, I'm about to die of boredom here. You idiot. Give me something interesting to talk about.

14:23 So when people have sum up statements, that's also a really bad sign. Her friend may come over and try to interrupt you guys. That's a bad sign because she can read her friend's body language. Obviously the body language, if she's holding her hands in front of her, she's not smiling a lot. She's not laughing at all. She's just trying to get space from you and essentially get rid of you. Then you need to take those signs and leave. And a lot of guys just don't get it.

14:50 Now I will say this. Most guys do get it. I bet you 90% of you listening right now are like, yeah, dude, I understand body language. I understand social cues that she's not interested, but some of you don't. And this is why I needed to record this podcast to look for those signs. What are signs of attraction? Signs of attraction are leaning in, laughing at jokes that aren't funny, touching your hair, licking her lips, touching you, asking you personal questions, getting into your personal space, asking you about future plans, and or asking you about your history.

15:17 These are all signs of attraction. These are good signs for you to push forward and keep in the conversation. Bad signs are basically the opposite of it. Is she asking me personal questions? No. Is she licking her lips? Not really. Her jaw looks like it was welded shut two days ago because she hasn't opened her mouth once. She hasn't smiled once. Okay. Is she touching herself or is she staying very still and kind of keeping off closed off body language? Are her toes facing me? Are they facing away from me?

15:43 Is her shoulder pointed at me, which is a really bad sign? Are her friends ignoring me as I talk to her and perhaps even rolling their eyes at her as I'm talking to them? Does she check her phone while I'm talking to her? And does she have some up statements to those things that we're talking about to try to get rid of me? So once again, boys, if you get these signs, please do not take it personally. I get so many butthurt dudes that are like, man, I got rejected and it just took me out for like two weeks.

16:10 You are placing way too much importance on what these females think of you. I want to ask you, what do you think of yourself? Right now, bro, what do you think of yourself? What do you give yourself on a scale of one to 10? Do you love yourself? Do you tell yourself you love yourself? Do you look at those good things that you've accomplished? When you look in the mirror, is it hard for you to make eye contact with yourself? When you go to bed, are you berating yourself about all the quote unquote failures that you've had?

16:41 Or do you go to bed and be like, yeah, bro, I am my own hero. I am a champion. I have a lot to offer. You need to get to that point because oftentimes when these girls signal you that they're not interested, it's simply because how you feel about yourself. Remember, life is oftentimes a big mirror. People react to you the way you react to yourself. If you don't respect yourself, people aren't going to respect you. If you don't love yourself, people aren't going to love you.

17:03 If you don't see the value within you, girls aren't going to see the value within you. So again, it all starts. The roots of it, the foundation of it, the beginning of it is right here between your two ears. And if you're listening on audio, of course, I'm pointing at my head right here is where it starts. So that's where you begin to go to work. And listen, if a girl doesn't like you, you know whose issue it is. It's her issue because she doesn't recognize excellence as it stands before her.

17:28 She doesn't recognize championhood, a fusillade of legendary championhood being shot off the starboard bow as you fly through the air with fucking rainbows and stars shooting out of your butthole because you're that level of a champion. That's what I want you guys to think of yourselves. But of course, if you get these signs from women, read them, politely excuse yourself, and go open the next set. Why? Because she didn't recognize the champion that stood before her. That's the frame that you guys need to have. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening.

18:01 As a reminder, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.