8 Ways to Create SEXUAL TENSION With Girls

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, money, women, and being a fucking man without making any apologies for it. I'm your host, Mark Singh. And I'm John Anthony. And today we are back after a, what was it, John, six-month hiatus? Long time. What happened to you, man? Did you get lost in the woods, get sucked into a black hole? I got sucked into a black hole and found my way out, but I'm back in business. Yeah, we've been getting a lot of emails about just, you know, continuing the podcast.

0:35 And I was traveling everywhere for like six months, back and forth all over the States, Las Vegas and California. So finally back and we're finally going to resume our normal schedule. Sorry for the wait, guys, but here we are. Yeah, man. I got a lot of emails being like, yo, where is this material? Where did you guys go? What the fuck? And we were like, look, you know, we got to get back to this. I'm sorry, guys. But man, congrats to you, bro. You traveled all over the place.

1:01 And in the interim, I had a baby. So that- Yeah, congratulations on that. Thank you, man. Thank you, little girl. And that took a lot of time. And man, it's like, you know, if you imagine, you can imagine like an electrical current, right? That's your life. Like it's going zzzz and it's going fine. You got your shit together. Everything's going. Man, when you throw a baby into it, it goes zzzz like that. And it just goes out of whack. And it took me about two months to get back to my shit again.

1:29 But man, it was difficult for the first two months. But now she's starting to smile at me. And that's been really rewarding. So I'm glad I have a kid now. The first like eight weeks, I was like, dude, did I make the wrong decision here? But it's been really good. And I know as she gets older, it's going to get rewarding. So today, speaking of girls, a little bit of a strange transition here. But today we're going to talk about sexual tension, okay? And why it's so unbelievably important to build sexual tension in your conversations with girls.

2:00 So many guys ask me, Mark, you know, I got this girl's text and she isn't texting me back. Can you give me a text to get her? Just give me the magical text to get her. Now, I always tell guys, look, if you didn't get enough attraction with her during the first conversation, no amount of my texting game is probably going to get you back in the bucket. You screwed it up. You didn't get her attracted enough. What you did was platonic vibing. Platonic, friendly, vibing.

2:26 Oh, where do you work? What do you do? Oh, you snowboard? I do too. Cool. High five. That doesn't get attraction. What gets attraction is building deep level sexual tension, okay? So when I teach my students, and by the way, you can find out more about my coaching at coachmarksing.com, M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G.com. I am an NLP coach and I'm actually going to be doing some NLP processes on this podcast once in a while when John and I can't meet, I'm thinking about throwing in some NLP stuff.

2:56 So stay tuned for that. But when you work with me, I teach the four pillars of attraction, okay? So during the first conversation, there's four pillars you must hit when you're trying to get a girl attracted to you. The first pillar is frame control, which we've talked a little bit about. The second is giving value. The third, which we're talking about today, is building sexual tension. And the fourth is qualifying, all of which we've talked about here and there, and we'll get into deeper as the podcast continues to grow.

3:23 So with the sexual tension, right? If you go into a conversation and you don't make her feel sexual towards you, she's not going to text you back because you're just another guy who she gave her phone number to basically get rid of you. So there's so many guys that don't get phone numbers that stick and they ask me, why didn't it stick? Well, several reasons. First of all, you may have not hit upon the four pillars, but most importantly, you didn't get her feeling those emotions.

3:50 Sexuality is the deepest emotion that a woman can feel for you. And if you don't elicit that, you're basically just running on the surface level. If you're telling good stories, you're being interesting, you're telling some jokes, like getting her to talk about herself. Yeah, that's fine. But bro, when you can turn it sexual and you see it in their eyes, you see the change in their eyes. They start to lean in. They start to laugh at jokes that aren't funny. They start to get really turned on by you.

4:18 It's on. Like you could text her, hey. And she'll be like, hey, how are you? Was thinking about you today. She'll be like all there, right? And you don't need these fancy, amazing texting techniques, which I do teach for girls that aren't completely there because there are some times when you get phone numbers and it's like, I don't know if she's going to text me back, but I'm going to try anyway. There are very rich texting techniques that we teach, but the best way to do it, the best way to get a response is to get her sexual, get the attraction deep and really into you.

4:49 And then when you text, it's just on. So creating sexual tension, super important topic today. I'm excited to get into it. Yeah. Yeah. And it's really funny too, because, uh, yeah, I love this idea, this idea that you just stated of, uh, you know, it's the interaction, not the text, because so many people in our line of work, they focus on these like outer periphery, like little quick fixes because they're easy to sell. Right. So like if you Google how to be an alpha male or, you know, how to pass a shit test or how to get a girl, how to get laid on Tinder, the top results are always going to be like seven quick ways to like fucking hijack.

5:25 Check your confidence or like three masterful ways to fucking become an alpha male or whatever. But it's about the underlying change in the underlying frame. And so with sexual tension, the biggest thing is it's not what you say, it's how you say it. So eye contact, strong eye contact, good vibes. A lot of this is hard to teach because, you know, like I said before, it's not this like seven quick tricks type thing. And even though those lines and techniques, they do work, it's 10 times more powerful when it's coming from the right place.

5:56 So the biggest thing as Mark and I kind of hit upon it, if, if you're not getting any girls texting you back is no amount of text game is going to get her texting you back. If the interaction in person was shit, right? Like maybe you've met some, you know, someone at a club and they were really creepy and weird and wouldn't go away. So you gave them your number and then they start texting you and you just don't respond. Right. And you know, if you switch the frame there for a second, like as a guy, if that's you and you're like, why isn't this person responding?

6:27 It's probably because the interaction didn't go well. Whereas if you imagine you meet some dude out at a club and you have all this shit in common, everything's going well, you like them, they're going to respond, right? They're going to want to hang out with you. So it's the same thing with women, right? But the biggest thing, if you get anything from this podcast is it's not what you say, it's how you say it. It's about the sub communications. It's about eye contact. It's about tone of voice.

6:51 It's about little subtle pauses after what you say. It's about the small things that add up to create a sexual vibe. And so as Mark kind of said before, there's, you know, a platonic kind of friendly frame. And then in more PUA terms, there's a man to woman frame. And this is what you want when you're trying to attract girls, right? So imagine that you're the man and she's the woman. You're the one who's leading. She's the one who's following. You're the one who's being persistent.

7:19 You're the one who has the masculine energy, the confidence, and you're leading the interaction in a man to woman way. Absolutely. So many guys who are listening to this podcast say, okay, so I need to lead the interaction. I need to talk to her in a certain way that creates sexual tension. How do you get from opening the girl into that sexual tension, right? Because if you go up and she's not attracted to you on some level yet, and you try to create sexual tension, you just go sexual with it, you could get slapped in the face.

7:54 It could go very bad. So there is something to be said about finessing into this, okay? So generally, the reason why I have those four pillars is when you first go in, you want to give value. Give value is telling stories, making her laugh, teasing her, busting her chops, doing things like cold reading, push-pull, a lot of which we talked about. When she's starting to get attracted, what you want to do is you want to throw out a little lure and see if she goes after it, okay?

8:22 Because if you turn it sexual too quick, which I've done, and I'm sure Mr. John Anthony has done too. Yeah, we've all done it. We've all made this mistake. If you go too quick with it, you could look like a douchebag. You're just trying to fuck her. You look like an asshole who's just trying to get in her underwear. So what I do is I throw out the lure and see if she bites into it, okay? So what I might do is this, is I might have a commonality with her, okay?

8:45 I say, hey, why'd you move to Colorado? 90% of the time, they tell me some bullshit like, oh, the mountains, snowboarding, snowmobiling, fishing, whatever. And then I say, as I've taught in previous podcasts, ah, shit. And they say, what? And you'd be like, well, I'm really into snowboarding too. That's a problem. I'm so much better than you are at snowboarding. I would just like launch over you. You get butthurt. Big snowball fight. Wouldn't work out. We can't be friends. And then she buys into it. She has fun with it.

9:13 You know, you guys are bantering. And then I talk about like having a food fight. I say, you know, like you and I are very similar, okay? Because I can tell you don't take any shit and neither do I. So if we ever went on a date, instant food fight, it would just be drama. I'd be slaying pickles on your forehead. You'd throw the mashed potatoes and she's laughing. Then you say this. Now, this is the little lure to see if she takes it. You say, but you know what the good thing about fighting is, right?

9:39 Now, guys, notice how I changed my voice. It's kind of like bedroom voice, right? After you just had sex with her. Baby, you're so beautiful, right? So it's like, you know what the good thing about fighting is, right? And she'll be like, what? You'd be like, well, afterwards you get to make up. So when she hears that, and I've done this many times, you throw it out. She's immediately thinking make up sex. Now, you didn't straight up say it. You don't get to say, hey, you know what the good thing about fighting is, right?

10:06 You get to have make up sex. It's so good, right? You say, you get to make up. Now, there's an interesting thing I do with this, which I'm going to explain in a moment. But basically what you're doing is you're throwing out the lure. And she'll often say, like, make up sex. And be like, yeah, you know, like the more intense the fight, the better the sex is, right? Now you're talking sexual with her. And she went with it. Now, sometimes, and I've had this happen, girls will be like, oh, are you talking about make up sex?

10:35 And you'd be like, no, filthy girl. Where's your mind at? I'm saying you get to make up and be friends again. So, you get an out there. Now, there's one other thing I do, which the girl, she knows that she's talking about sex too early. And it's not societally acceptable to bring it up this early. But you suggested it. So, what you do is you say, you know what you get to do, right? You get to make up. And she's like, like make up sex? Is that what you're talking about?

11:02 And you can tell she wants to talk about it. But she's feeling like a little insecure about talking about it. The token resistance. The token resistance. Right, she has to give the slut mechanism. So, what you can do is turn that on her and be like, Kelly, are you talking about sex right now? You and I should not be talking about sex. It's way too early in the conversation. Like if we were talking about being naked together right now, in bed, having sex, that would be so not good for this conversation right now.

11:28 Way too early. Kelly, you should be ashamed of yourself of thinking about having sex with me like that. Don't think about it. Don't think about how good it'd be. Feel like chemistry right now? Don't focus on that, Kelly. We are not supposed to be talking about this. Now, what you're doing is in a funny way, you're reprimanding her yet still explaining having sex with each other. And that builds really good sexual tension. So, once again, we need to be very cognizant of her slut defense mechanism.

11:55 And we have to help her work around it. We have to throw out lures. Let her take it. Say, you know what? Like, we should, we, I can't believe we're talking about this this early. It's just the chemistry is just crazy. And it's just happening. And that's, by the way, is when you have sex with a woman, you almost have to make it as if it just happened. It was just fate. It was just chemistry. Oh, we didn't know what happened. We just fell into bed and sex just happened to happen.

12:20 Because remember, she has that slut mechanism and you have to help her work around it. It's very, very important for women because that's the reason for last minute resistance. If you don't give her an out, if you don't give her an explanation in her own head, then she's going to stop you. But if you instead give her that out, give her a reason, and really make it seem like it was fate, then she'll do it and justify it to herself later. Remember, women act on their emotions, then justify it after.

12:47 That's why building the sexual tension, which is pretty much the deepest emotion a woman can feel in an attraction type environment, that's why building that is so fucking important, is because it's going to make her rationalize why she had sex with you, why she's getting sexual with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think that you can't overstate the importance of nuance enough, right? So there's basically four levels of the pull, right? So there's the open, there's the social hook point, and then there's the sexual hook point, and then the extraction.

13:21 And most guys, you know, once they get over their approach anxiety, their issue is going from the social hook point to the sexual hook point. The social hook point is where she's willing to talk to you and she's adding to the conversation, but the sexual hook point is when you begin flirting. And I like the examples that Mark gave because it's so much about suggesting things rather than saying them, right? Always remember that suggestion is a thousand times more powerful than outright saying things, right? You want her in the back of her head to be thinking, this guy's a player.

13:55 This guy's a fuck boy, right? But you don't say it. And if she brings it up, then you pass the shit test, you know, by either amplifying the frame or reframing it. You know, no, I'm a virgin, you know, whatever it is, right? But, you know, again, it all comes down to your body language. It comes down to teasing. You can do pushing and pulling, you know, start small. And then, like Mark said, see if she takes the bait, right? Start with a little push and then give her a chance to qualify by coming back.

14:21 It's really more of an art than it is a science, you know? And that's why I'm such a big fan of teaching these things because, you know, all that bullshit out there about, you know, seven interesting things to talk about girls with or whatever. It's like it doesn't matter what you're talking about. It's the energy behind it. It's where it's coming from. It's whether or not you're interested in it. So once you do the open, get to the social hook point and then start using some of these tips and you'll get to the sexual hook point.

14:46 And like Mark said, you always want an excuse, right? So she can just write it off as like, oh, it just happened. This thing, this, we just had sex, right? Because a girl's slut defense is very real. And unfortunately in today's society, you know, things are going in a way where it might not be good for men. So you always want to get consent. You want to have a reason. You want to be sure that she's comfortable. All this different shit. I hate that I even have to bring that up, but with the whole, you know, all that bullshit, I'm not going to get too political, but always have a reason, right?

15:18 It can be the dumbest thing ever. Like I remember one time I was at an RSD seminar actually way back in the day and Max was showing us some infield footage and this girl wanted to fuck him. And her excuse to get him back home was literally, do you want to go home? I have water there. Like I have, I have water at my house. Let's go back to the house. Right. It can be anything. Right. So, you know, if that's why you should keep like a liquor cabinet at home, you know, just like any, any reason you can think of like, yeah, let's, let's do this because X, Y, and Z.

15:49 Right. Girls aren't stupid. They know that if they're going to come to a guy's house at fucking two in the morning, they're probably going to have sex. Okay. They're not dumb, but you need to give them a reason to defeat their slut defense. Yep. I have a saying in my coaching that you want to lead women to where they want to be led, lead women to where they want to be led. So while the masculine energy leads, you never push against a woman's resistance, but instead you lead them to where they want to go.

16:19 Now that's really profound because with a woman sexually, right? You don't want to try to pull them into a sexual outcome. And so many of my clients do this, Mark, I get last minute resistance, Mark. She's not willing to take off her bra, bro. If you're pushing it to the point where she says, no, you fucked up. You're like, you just went five steps back. So what I always do is read the woman. Okay. No, for sure. Bro, she wants my phone number, even down to the phone number.

16:51 Don't ask for the phone number. Get it when she wants to give it to you. Lead her to where she wants to be led. Don't take off her bra. Make it so she's freaking like, I want my bra to come off. And how do you do that? You escalate, pull back, escalate, pull back. Now it's the same with conversation. You escalate, pull back, escalate, pull back. When you know she's ready to get sexual with it, then you go sexual. Lead her to where she wants to go.

17:15 Right? Don't let her lead it, but let her want it. Make her want it through your conversation. And then, like you said, it's nuanced. It's tonality. It's presentation. And you bring that in when she's ready for it. Not before. You can't force open the petals of a flower. Pretty profound, huh, John? I saw your reaction. Blow it away. You can't force open the petals of a flower, nor can you force open the legs of a woman or her cell phone or anything like that. So many guys are trying to force it, but you need, especially in this respect, you need to finesse it.

17:49 Not only because that's the best way to do it, that's what gets them more attracted, but also just from a legality standpoint. You don't want to be pushy. You don't want to be a stalker. You don't want to come off as a rapist. You want to come off as a guy who's so massively attracted. And then, when it turns sexual, like John said, it just, man, this conversation's getting intense. Or, wow, we're making out real hard. I need to step back. You want some water? I mean, one of the best ways to get a girl to have sex with you is to escalate and then be like, whoa, this is the first night.

18:20 We should slow down. This is getting crazy. Be the one who stops it. Be the one who stops it. You're the one, it's like you put on the gas and you put on the brake. Put on the gas, put on the brake. And it's a form of push-pull too, right? Which is really important. So, with sexual tension, there's another technique I want to teach. And what I'll often do is be like, you know, Kelly, we've been talking for a few minutes and you seem like a cool girl.

18:42 But I really think we should find you a man. And she'll be like, oh, you do, huh? And be like, yeah, you know, a guy who you just, you connect with and he just looks in your eyes. You can feel that sexual tension as if right now you're feeling it, right? And there's the chemistry bouncing between your two hearts. And he steps closer to you and then you get closer to her. You say, then he kind of whispers in your ear like this. And it's like, you just want to kiss him so bad.

19:06 You just want to get closer to him. And when he's talking to you, it just makes you feel like a little girl again. He leads you to where you want to be led. He's decisive and confident. And his voice just melts your heart. And then let her sit there and reverberate with it. And you can even go further. And then when he kisses you, you just feel it go through your whole body like a shudder, like a wave going from the tip of your tongue all the way down to your feet and all the way back again.

19:29 And you're talking to her like this, but you're talking about some other guy, right? But obviously, she's relating it to you. And then I'll let that pause and sit for a second. And then I'll say, come on, let's go find you that guy. And I'll grab her hand and pretend to pull her away. And she gets really frustrated. It's that push-pull again. Pull her in, sexual tension, and then push her away. Pull her in. It's always flowing like this. And that's the way to get really sexual with a girl.

19:55 There are certain ways you can touch them. A lot of times in bars and nightclubs, when women are really turned on by you and they're talking to you, what's really interesting is they'll actually rub their crotch on your crotch. Have you had this happen to you, John? Yeah. They'll get so close that they'll be rubbing their crotch on you. They don't even realize they're doing it. Oftentimes, your hands are at your side, like when you're talking to a girl. Like in a nightclub, a lot of people say, don't peck, P-E-C-K, like this.

20:23 Go in and talk to her ear. But I do that because I believe it creates sexual tension. And if I were talking to a girl and I wanted to really do it, I might even move her hair off her ear and lean in and breathe out a little bit before I talk. Like, you know what's awesome about you, Kelly? Right? And there are certain ways to use your voice. I call it bedroom voice, which right now I'm just speaking. This is the way I initially talk to a girl.

20:49 Hey, hey, what's up? I saw you standing over here and wanted to come meet you. What's up? Who are you? Okay? Talk like that. But once it starts to get sexual, you change it into the quote unquote bedroom voice. It's like, you know what's so sexy about you, Kelly. Right? And if you're whispering that in a girl's ear, if your hands are at your side and you touch her hand as you're doing it, if you can just caress her neck slowly or just scratch her arm or when you hug her and you come out of the hug, you drag your hands across her back and then down her arms and let her palms come out of your palms.

21:22 There's certain things like this that create that sexual tension that is so, so, so necessary for her to text you back. Why do I say text you back? Because so many guys have that problem. I'm getting numbers, dude, but I'm not getting responses. It's because, again, the platonic vibing, you're not getting this sexualized. She gave her phone number out to 10 dudes, eight of which she just wanted to get rid of, two of which she might be interested in. You need to be one of those two dudes.

21:47 Now, when you get the sexual tension going so much, she should be suggesting it. So, hey, do you like to get coffee? You know, we can hang out and talk about this more later. They will insinuate it, and honestly, I suggest for my clients, don't even ask for the phone number unless she's fucking down. Why? Because then you get a bad rep. I have a client I was just talking to. He's like, dude, I'm getting this bad rep in my city. I'm like, well, what are you doing?

22:08 He's like, I'm asking for phone numbers. I'm like, don't ask unless she's down. I mean, there's different philosophies, okay? When you start out, yeah, try to open, try to get phone numbers. You should, but when you get better, I believe reputation is really important. You can get a slut reputation quickly, so I would always wait until the girl's like, da-zown to hang out, and she's suggesting it, and she's leaning in. She's rubbing her crotch on mine. She's trying to kiss me, and I'm like, whoa, dude, like, slow down, right?

22:37 Then it's like, here, toss me your number, and then when I text her, it's like, oh, my God, it's him. It's him. I can't believe it, and you'd be like, yo, like, what's your week looking like, and then you set up the date, which, by the way, we're going to talk about how to set up the date, first date, all that stuff, and future podcasts. This sexual tension thing, in my opinion, must, must be included in your first conversations if you want girls that are going to have sex with you, texts that are going to stick, girls that are going to be down to hang out with you one-on-one, because hanging out with the dude one-on-one is a big commitment.

23:08 They're not going to want to do it unless you're, like, really ramped it up. Now, again, there can be something to be said about ramping it up too much as well, and they get buyer's remorse. If you're making out with chicks at the bar, oftentimes, they won't text you back. Don't do that. Don't do that. Yeah. Real quick, that's one of the biggest, like, newbie mistakes that people make is because they think, like, oh, I'm with the girl. Like, you know, we're kissing at the bar.

23:32 That's good. What happens is she feels like a slut, and she's not going to want to go home with you. But if you just, like, do the push and pull thing at the bar, then she'll be like, oh, okay, I'm not a slut. And then, you know, as crazy as that, you know, the rationalization is, but she's going to go home with you. So don't get too sexual in public. That's huge. It feels like you're making progress if you're a newbie because you're like, oh, girl's making out with me.

23:54 But no, in the long run, you don't want to do that. You also don't want to shit where you eat, right? Like, a lot of guys who are getting this training, they're trying to get very good with girls in general. What do they want? They want to have lots of sexual experiences with lots of different girls. Pick the best one to settle down with. I guarantee you, 99% of guys, I just said that, they're not in their head, yes. Okay? Don't shit where you eat. Including this guy.

24:16 Exactly. Don't shit where you eat. What does that mean? When you go to a bar, don't be making out with chicks because you're going to get a reputation of being the kind of guy who does that. What I would always do is I would always flirt with lots of girls. I'd get accused of being a player endlessly. How many phone numbers did you get? You're a player. You're a piece of shit. Just agree and amplify. You know, I got 850 phone numbers tonight going for 875. You want to help me?

24:38 Just 25 more. Let's do this. Right? Agree and amplify. Okay? But I would never make out with chicks. I would never be seen giving my phone number or taking a girl's number. And I would never fully commit to one girl. Right? So, if there was a particular girl that I wanted and she would say, oh, you're just flirting with all the other girls. I'd be like, do you see me taking numbers? She's like, no. Do you see me making out with girls? No. Yeah, I'm talkative. I like to talk to girls.

25:05 Relax, bro. I see you doing it too, Mrs. Casanova. Flip it on her. She'd be like, I see you talking to all those guys. I'll call you Mrs. Casanova. No, I don't. You talk to, oh, no, I don't. Blah, blah, blah. And then at the right time, pass your phone to her under the bar. Nobody else can see it. She gives you her number. Boom, boom, boom. You get the highest quality numbers in a night. Rather than 10 numbers, you get two really good ones. And then you hang out with them later.

25:31 You're getting like four days a week. But building that sexual tension, like John said, you can't take it too far. You got to stop at the point of actually making out. She's going to try to kiss you, dude. Like, you got to get your boxing skill in check. Yeah, like she goes in. You're like, whoa, there. Slow down, turbo. Like, you know, we're not kissing. Don't kiss girls in the bar. Don't be like totally showing the rest of the bar that you're doing it. That's why push-pull is really good.

25:59 Keep it by Mars lengths. You know, we talked about push-pull in a previous video. But all that stuff is really important. But at the same time, you're giving the sexual tension. You're leading her to where she wants to be led. You're turning her on and then taking it away. One really quick thing before you talk, John. I was – I have a girlfriend, as many of you know. So, when I go to the bars, I have to reject girls, basically. When it gets – like I'll build the sexual tension and I'll just say, no, and I'll just fucking force close it.

26:27 Like, sorry, it's not happening. They will go and make out with another dude so fast. Yeah. So, I'll get them all fired up, like really horny. And then I'll be like, sorry, bro, like not interested. Ten minutes later, I see him making out with another dude. And I'm like, damn, dude. I just warmed that girl up for that guy. That's literally how it happens because they just are so like, well, he doesn't want me. So, fuck it. I'm just going to go get the second best dude.

26:53 And I've got a lot of guys laid that way, seriously. It's really funny. Yeah, it's funny because like that's – a lot of guys don't realize that. Like once a girl's buying temperature is warmed up, any guy could come in and like have a relatively good chance of going home with her, right? So, we've talked about the term buying temperature before. And this is basically how open a girl is to a sexual experience. And sexual tension is the art of raising it. And so, you want to understand a concept known as power versus force, right?

27:23 So, which one's better, right? To always be push, push, push, push, push. That's force or power where you do push, pull, push, pull. And then when you see an opportunity, when she's offering an opportunity, you really push hard for the opportunity, right, to get it. That's power, right? It's about doing these little movements that are really well calculated at the exact right time that 10x is for attraction, right? So, you know, like Mark said, don't be the guy who makes out with every girl at the bar.

27:55 I've done that. I'm sure anyone who's like learning game has done that at some point. And it feels cool and you look cool to your buddies and stuff. But like in the long term, it's not good. Because then what's going to happen is any girl that makes out with you is going to feel like, oh, I'm a slut now. I'm making out with that guy who's known for like making out with all these girls, right? And it's kind of a weird paradox because on one hand, like there is such a thing as pre-selection.

28:18 But you want the pre-selection to be in a girl's head and not actually out there flaunting it, right? Big, big. I like that. Yeah. That's good, man. Yeah. Yeah. Pre-selection. So going back to that, okay? This has turned also into how not to shit where you eat podcast, right? And how to manage your experiences at the bar. You can talk to 25 girls a night, flirt with them, turn it a little bit sexual, right? You're going to get accused endlessly. How many phone numbers did you get?

28:51 You're a player. You're a piece of shit. You should have responses to that just prepped and ready to go, okay? I've said the phone number 100 times. I'm going to say it again because it's so fucking good. How many phone numbers did you get tonight? You say, I got nine numbers tonight. One more, I would have had a full phone number. I say that every time. Make some laugh. Pass the shit test. No big deal, okay? But the way to not shit where you eat is to not take it too far.

29:15 And the girls who you do want the phone numbers from, now this is really important. You can be an attention slut, okay? Which is what I am. I admit it wholeheartedly. I love attention from girls. I love to talk to girls. But you don't want to be a slut slut, okay? There's a tension slut and a slut slut. There's two differences between that. So when you're an attention slut, it's like, okay, he likes attention from girls. He talks to girls. But I don't think he's really acting on it.

29:43 I didn't see him take any numbers. He's not making out with them. He's keeping them all a little bit at arm's length. Then there's the slut slut who you are taking advantage of. And you're going to destroy your entire reputation at that bar, potentially in your town. And then you're screwed. Once you get a reputation as being a player, bro, not a lot of girls are going to want to get down with that. You know, they just aren't. So the smart thing to do is to do it under the radar.

30:07 You can be an attention slut 100%. I am one. I talk to all kinds of girls. I love it. I get accused. It doesn't make a difference. Like John said, the pre-selection is in their head. Yeah, but he's not acting on it. That's the rationalization. Then when you do get a girl who you really want the phone number of, you do make her feel a little bit special. Right. She feels special. Because she's, oh, he could have done all those other girls, but he did me, right?

30:32 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, there's just something about you, you know, when you, like, I always do this. I'm like, you know, when you first walked in, I looked at you and I did one of these. And then my legs went out and I fell on the floor and I was like crawling like a Vietnam vet with his legs blown off. And then to reconstitute my strength, I look back at you and your beauty just brought me back to my legs. And she's like, you're so full of shit.

30:55 Just be like, I don't know. I'm just fucking with you. Whatever. But it makes her feel like, oh, I'm the special girl. Here's the guy that all the girls want, but, whoa, he's saying I'm the special one. And like, you know what? I never do this. I never do this. But here. Yeah. I'm over it. And she's like, oh, boy. Right. And she puts it in. That's the way you want it to go. And while you're building sexual tension with all the girls, because that is important.

31:18 Again, you need to have it calibrated and do not do, do not shit where you eat, man. That is the worst mistake you could possibly make. And this ties a lot into, like, you know, amogging and, like, friends cock blocking. Because guys will always be like, oh, like, why are her friends always cock blocking me? Like, you know, the girl was into me, but her friends took her away. It's because you're being too sexual, too openly. You want to be sly about it, right? You want to just, like, be subtle, discreet.

31:44 Like, it's this little secret between you and her that only you guys knows about. Because if a girl's friends see her making out with you, they might let it happen for, like, a minute. But, like, if you try to leave with her, they're going to fucking take her, right? Because they don't want her to be viewed as a slut. Yeah. So, you know, and a lot of times, too, like, guys will get mad. And I've got a million stories about that bullshit when guys get mad because they see you making out with girls.

32:05 And they, that's my sister, bro. That's stupid shit like that. You know how that happened to you? Oh, yeah, dude. This is crazy shit. So, like, you want to keep it under the radar, right? Like, even if she's really pushing for it, be like, no, no, like, not here. I can't do that here. No, no, no, no. You know, just, like, really, really make that a rule to not be too sexual in public. Yep, yep. So, the sexuality is spoken. It's given and taken away. And there's so many different.

32:33 It's implied, yeah. And there's so many different ways to deploy it where you don't have to go into even touching or making out just with your language. You know, there's one other tactic I like to do where it's called hypo stories. Now, hypo stands for hypothetical. So, what I'll often do with girls is I'll pretend that her and I have history together. Like, we've been friends forever. We used to date. We used to be in love. We broke up. It was a huge drama. Oftentimes, I'll be talking to a girl and her friend will come in.

33:08 And I'll be like, hey, what's up? Who are you? First of all, when a friend comes in, you should immediately engage her and disarm her, right? Neutralize her. I'll often tell the friend, the cock block, that she reminds me of my sister. And she's like the best friend I ever have. Therefore, she won't get attracted to me. And who would be an asshole to a guy that says, you look like my sister? I mean, it's just, they always become my ally when I tell them that.

33:31 So, when I'm talking to them, I do these hypo stories. I go, you know, do you remember like two years ago, you and I went to Hawaii? And she knows, obviously not, we just met. But she's going to go with it because girls like to pretend. They like to play, you know, tea time and pretend. It's like a little girl again. Well, when we were in Hawaii, it was just so romantic. And we were like walking on the beach and holding hands. And it was just like that sunset.

33:54 Do you remember the color of that? And I make it real visceral for her. Then we saw the whales jumping. And it was just one of those moments in life that you'll never forget. Do you remember that? And as she's visualizing this, I teach visualization in my NLP processes. It's really powerful to get what you want to reprogram your mind. As she's visualizing this, it's almost as if she's really there. And it's almost like the real thing. And then I go into, I'm like, yeah. And then you had to get drunk and you burned down that poor hot dog vendor's little hot dog stand and got into a fight and got arrested.

34:26 And then you and I got into a big fight. It was this big to do. But then do you remember we went back to the beach that night and it was dark and the waves were crashing. Nobody was there. So we grabbed a blanket and we went out there. And then I tell the whole story about what supposedly happened. Obviously it didn't, but it's almost like it is happening with her. And I'm talking about like sexual stuff and I let her add to it. And I'm like, then what happened?

34:49 What was that thing you did? And then she'll add to it. And we're talking about having sex on the beach in Hawaii with the waves crashing and the mist in the air and all this shit, right? And it builds excellent sexual tension. Then I can go and do that thing and be like, God, Kelly, we've been talking for five minutes. We really should be talking about this. This is so not cool. Tell you what, this is our secret. Let's not tell our friends about this, that we went this quick in the sexual talk.

35:14 This early on in our conversation, agreed, agreed here. Pinky swear. She pinky swears and be like, better not break that promise. You promised me a little girl. You don't want to know what'll happen. We'll have another fight. We're going to have another huge fight. Then we got to go and have all the makeup sex again. It's going to be so much drama. So you better not break that promise. This guy's is a good way to get sexual with women. Create hypothetical stories. Very powerful. Yeah. Yeah.

35:40 Um, and on that note, I mean, I think we kind of covered everything. Uh, you know, a lot of it's just body language. Eye contact. Don't shit where you eat. Be subtle. Be discreet. Uh, imply. Don't state, you know, use suggestion. Uh, you know, just things like that, guys. It's, uh, once you get it, it's pretty easy to, to, to keep getting back in that same state. And, uh, one more thing too, with, uh, escalation is newbies focus on their state, but guys that are advanced focus on a girl's state, right?

36:13 So focus on what state she's in and what state you want to get her in before you try escalating and all this other shit. I love that, dude. That's very profound. I like that a lot. We have to have a, uh, we'll have to do a podcast about how to pull her girl home by dealing with the obstacles and stuff. I mean, during this talk, I was thinking about so many different tactics there are to like neutralize the cock block, how to get the girl out of the bar, how to get her home, stuff like that.

36:40 So that's definitely a future podcast. So once again, guys, I do NLP coaching. NLP is neuro-linguistic programming. I get into that head of yours and through visualization processes, I'm able to reprogram some of the bullshit that's going on in your brain. So if you feel like you've got one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake, there are some internal brake that's preventing you from getting progress with women. Hit me up coachmarksingh.com. Usually I spend an hour and 20 minutes on the initial session, and that is a significantly reduced price.

37:09 Um, I do have a waiting list, but if you mentioned this podcast, I'll ask you, where'd you hear about me? I'll get you in the door. So John, do you want to tell them about your website and products? Yeah, of course guys. So, uh, first off, Mark does amazing work. I've, uh, spoken with some of his clients and like just highly recommend it. Um, as for me, you can go to masculinedevelopment.com and check out my free articles, my, uh, free videos, YouTube channel, all that good stuff.

37:34 And, uh, all my products are there. So just check it out and get some free shit. And yeah, we'll see you guys next time. Yeah. Hey, um, please, please like, and subscribe. And, and give us some love because part of the, part of the reason we, uh, lost a little bit of motivation is because it wasn't quite getting the love that we were seeing as far as like likes. And, uh, well, we were getting good likes, but we just weren't getting a lot of views. Now that comes with time.

37:58 But if you could tell your friends about it, like it, share it, help us grow it because dude, like apparently the audience that we have really loves us. I mean, we got so many emails, like literally bro on YouTube, we're getting a lot more views on Spotify and stuff like that. And iTunes, but on YouTube, we're getting like 150 views. And like out of that, like 10 emails, like, Hey, come back. So I think our audience is really dedicated. They resonate with what we're saying, but man, if we could grow, you know, the, the view count and the likes and stuff that'll really motivate us to come back.

38:29 So, uh, help us out guys, please help us out. Tell a friend. So thank you so much for listening. We do appreciate you and we will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.