The First 10 Things a Woman Notices About You

0:00 Do you want to start or do you want me to start? Well, I'm already recording, so we already started. Cool. Well, then you start the welcome, I guess, since we're introducing the topic. Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, money, women, and being a fucking man without making any fucking apologies for it. I'm your host, Mark Singh. And I'm John Anthony. And today, we are going to talk about, what are we talking about? Shit, I need to pull this up.

0:31 Oh, the first 10 things a woman notices about a man. Yeah. These are the first 10 things a woman is going to notice about you, bro, and you need to have your shit dialed in so that when she notices you, she's liking it. She's liking what she sees. She's like, I'm liking that guy right there. That guy's a champion. All right, so the first thing is your body. You need to be jacked. I'm just kidding. Jack, like John Anthony over there. Well, it's kind of true, though. Like, women are attracted to what's called the V taper.

1:04 V taper is wide shoulders, and it goes down into a thin waist. And what's the ratio again? It's called the golden ratio. 1.618 of your shoulders to your waist ratio. And this is the ratio that women are basically evolutionarily programmed to be attracted to. So if you look at any male sex symbol, Brad Pitt in Fight Club, you know, dudes like that. They always have that nice V taper, the thin waist, the abs, the Adonis belt, and the wide shoulders. And this is probably the biggest thing that women notice about you first is the V taper.

1:44 And I sell a program called Body of Alpha. You can go to gettheperfectbody.com to check it out. And it teaches you how to do this. But, you know, if you're a newbie, if you're just starting, just Google masculine development, working out, masculine development, fitness. You'll find tons of free shit and start using it. Because getting in shape, you know, a lot of the time guys will get confused because they're like, do looks or game matter? And I'm just like, dude, get both. Like, why would you not get both?

2:12 So, you know, looks give you a great first impression. You still need game to close the deal. But looks are super important. Do not neglect them. Yeah. So the V taper, one really good way is to work your shoulders as much as you can. Try to get your shoulders popping out to get that ratio good. And then also cutting out sugars from your diet is a good way to get rid of that spare tire that you might be flossing. Believe me, I have problems with that as well.

2:41 Getting rid of simple carbohydrates like breads and things like that is also a good way to reduce your belly fat. And the good thing is, is that all of us have that V taper within us. And all you need to do is unlock it in your body to basically represent that V taper and show it to women. And also your clothing, man. Like if you have clothing that hangs off of you real boxy, like if you have big shoulders and it's hanging off of you boxy and they can't see your waist, that's a big problem.

3:08 So like fitted shirts, kind of like the shirt that I'm wearing here is, is really good because it hugs down and it shows that V and women will really, really respond to that. If you go to YouTube or Google and say, what's the body that women are attracted to? It's not like these super big jack dudes. It's actually, yeah, that's actually gross to them. And, and what it is, is just that, that basic symmetry. And you, you have that within you right now. You just have to work the right muscles.

3:38 You have to work the right, um, lose the right weight body. Recon, recon, what's it called? Recomposition. Recomposition is the way to get that V taper. It's really important, dude. I noticed when I got rid of my spare tire and I actually started having that type of body that women would start approaching me. I'd get checked out a lot more, way more green lights. And it also comes down to the clothing that you're wearing. You can wear certain jackets that extensuate your shoulders as they taper into your waist and give you that ratio.

4:10 And I actually measured it. It's 1.6. What was it? 1.68. 1.618. Yeah. I actually measured it and I was like 0.1 something away from it. So a little bit more work to do. Are you right on it, John? I haven't checked it in a while, but based off of the reactions I get, I'm sure I am. I was at the gym the other day hitting a body of an alpha and like this gaggle of like three girls was like walking by. And then as they were like approaching me, they all like kind of looked away and started playing with their hair.

4:40 And then I like, when I was out of like distance, barely, they were like, oh my God, he's so hot. And I was like, yeah. Shit like that happens all the time when you get your, get your fitness in order. And I like what you said about fitted shirts too. So I like built B-Y-L-T basics.com. I saw the fuck boy shirt with like the long, the long cut. If you've ever seen that Mark. Yeah. And you're like super fitted too. So dude, what's the, what is it?

5:06 I'm literally looking for shirts right now. What's it called? B-Y-L-T for like built. So B-Y-L-T basics.com. Okay. Dude, I found this place. I, I bookmarked it. You can get custom t-shirts made. Let me see here. Let me look it up real quick. It's son of a tailor. Dude, check that out. You can literally get custom t-shirts made and you, they measure out like across, across here, your waist, the length, everything. I'm going to get a custom t-shirt made because what I'm doing is I'm making t-shirts with my own brand on it.

5:43 The NLP coach Mark Singh brand, which I have, you've seen my logo, right? It's fucking dope. It looks like Sergeant Stripes, but it like, it's a little bit different. It's so sick. And I want to have that, like the Sergeant Stripes right here on the shoulder and then maybe like right here on the chest. And then on the back, it's like an American flag. And above it, it says, be your own hero, which is one of my taglines. So sick, dude. I'll send you, I'm going to get those made and I'm going to send one to you, but I'm trying to get, bro.

6:11 I've been trying on so many shirts like Hanes, Gilden, Bella and Canvas. I've tried on all these different shirts and none of them fit me correctly. So I'm probably going to get this, this custom t-shirt made. So this looks sick. I'm looking at right now. You can measure your body. Yeah. We should get paid by them right now for giving them free traffic, but whatever. Damn bastards, dude. I'm going to, I'm going to try it out. And they say, if it doesn't fit you right, you can send it back and they'll remake it for you.

6:37 So I'm actually going to do this here pretty soon. It's like 50 bucks or maybe even 60, but to me, it's worth it to have one t-shirt that just fits you correctly, like, and fits you worth it, bro. I spent 60 bucks on that for sure. Yeah. And, and like, just get one or two. Cause like when you go out and you want to look great because like that girls get this like way more than guys do, but like they'll spend like two hours getting ready. And while you don't have to spend two hours getting ready, like you do want to have a great fitting shirt, good fitting pants.

7:06 Uh, Lululemon is another one that I like because they, they custom tailor. Everything like for free when you buy their shit. And I have one of their V-necks that's like super like nice quality. It's like, it feels like silk, uh, V taper. We're a V taper too, by the way, guys. Cause it like emphasizes that natural V taper, uh, that men have right. So if you get like the V-neck cut, that's super good. Um, yeah. So like put, invest a little bit of money and like, you'll notice big results.

7:31 Yeah. This is, this shirt is I N C. I got it at Macy's and like, you know, the, the sleeve kind of comes up a little bit. So the, the triceps pop and like, it's, it's again, it's tapered down. I mean, it's so necessary. If you just buy a fricking Hanes t-shirt with a wolf howling on the moon at the front, it's like girls aren't going to notice your body. The dragon shirt, the wolf, the wolf shirt. Yeah. I actually want to get one of those where it's like cats, like floating in space and then a unicorn.

7:57 And like, I want to get one of those. You can also get your shirts tailored. Um, just bring it to a tailor and get, get the sides honed in so that it hugs you better. If you have a shirt you really like that, it has a cool image on it, but it doesn't fit you right. You can get them tailored like that. Totally worth it, dude. Totally worth it. Absolutely. So, uh, number two, body language. And in my opinion, this is probably one of the most important.

8:21 The last one we're going to tell you is the most important. So stick around, but body language, the way you hold yourself, the way you stand there, the way you interact with other people. If you're in the, if you're in the, in the club and you kind of have like submissive body language, as we call it, you're closed up, you're feeling insecure. You're looking at the ground. You're maybe holding your drink in front of you and like drinking like this, or you're just like staring at women.

8:45 Like you want to kill them. These are the types of things that women don't like to see. They like to see open body language, chin held high, chest out, smirk on your face. I'm a fucking winner. I'm a champion walking through with swagger, knowing that you're the shit without having to prove it so much. It's an inner confidence kind of thing, but body language communicates so much and women are looking through you to see what your body language is like, because that communicates what's going on inside your head.

9:12 So if you have positive thinking, if you think you're a champion, then that's going to be reflected in your body language and women are going to get attracted to you because of it. Yeah. And this is really subtle too. Um, so a big thing is like with body language, don't, don't overanalyze. Cause I, I find that a lot of guys, they, they make it way too complicated and it's good to have like a general idea of body language. But like, you shouldn't be in the club thinking like, like, what should I be like exactly how should I like do that?

9:40 You know what I mean? Just like know the basics. Right. So like generally speaking and be comfortable, right. Uh, you know, you want to be comfortable, which means sometimes taking up more space, but, uh, don't overdo it because then you're just going to come off as like a total douche, you know? And, uh, you know, guys that are successful, they can, they pick up on this shit real fast too. Like I know one guy who, uh, he's, he's unsufferable. Cause like whenever I talk to him, he'll do things that in theory might be good, right.

10:06 With his body language, but it comes off so abrasive that it's like just repulsive. So like, I'll be talking about something and he'll like, look at his fingernails, like, you know, like, Oh, I'm so much better than you. Like what you're saying has less worth than my fingernails right now. And I like, that's what you want to avoid that. Right. So like, you know, trying to act higher status with your body language isn't always the best thing. Uh, like Mark said, and just be like confident, you know, take up, you know, take up enough space, be comfortable, have some swagger, but don't take it to this like ridiculous level that a lot of dudes take it to when they first get into PUA, where they feel like they have to DHV everyone.

10:43 Cause that's just repulsive and dudes that are actually high value. They don't like try to shove it in your face because they just are. Yeah. Yeah. Very well said. I love that. What you're saying is not quite as important as these beautiful fingernails. I love that, but yeah, good body language is relaxed body language. You're succeeding in life, but you don't have to prove it. That's the big point there. Okay. Next thing is your clothing, your style. We touched on this a little bit with, you know, the, the V tapered shirts, but also your style.

11:13 Pay attention to really what I tell guys is to look at the dudes who are pulling the kind of girls that you want to pull and dress like them. It's very simple and girls will look at your shoes. They'll look at your watch. They'll look at your pants. They'll look at your tattoos. They'll look at if you wear earrings or not. These are all the subtle points that you should really focus on because when you show good style, it communicates social intelligence and all women want to be with a socially savvy guy.

11:44 So really before you go out, focus on that kind of thing. Is your butt being shown nicely or are you like sagging and it just looks flat and it's just hanging off and you got big old baggy pants. Chicks hate that. Chicks are really actually attracted to a nice butt too. Shoulders are the most important. I believe from all the research I've done, broad shoulders, going to the V taper, but is also very important. And when you can accentuate that with your clothing, it's going to make them more attracted to you before you even talk to them.

12:15 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you want to, you know, the full, the full package, so to speak. And I talk a lot about this in my book, Elite Dating Secrets. But, um, you know, the idea is that you don't need to spend like a hundred thousand dollars on clothes. Like guys fall into this trap and they think like, Oh, once I get the Rolex, like then I'll get the girls. But if you actually try to get a girl with money, it comes off as super needy and weird.

12:37 So good fit is more important than anything else. That's always number one is good fit. Yeah. And, uh, if you're really overweight and out of shape, I hate to say this, but nothing is going to look good on you. Uh, you know, nothing is going to fit you well if you're fucking 300 pounds overweight. So get that shit in order. But, uh, assuming you're, you know, relatively in good shape, uh, built basics, like we mentioned before, it's pretty good. Lululemon, Lululemon, uh, is, is good. It's a tongue twister right there.

13:05 Another one is, uh, express, uh, H and M, you know, you can get some decent shit, uh, pretty cheap. So another one is congruence, right? You want to pick like a style type. So like, you know, the bad boy or like the, the gym dude, or like the, the club promoter, right. And kind of stick with that style. Uh, one that I like is just, you know, very basic, like kind of like edgy, you know, add some accessories, a nice necklace, a watch. Again, it doesn't have to be super expensive.

13:32 You can get good watches from, uh, Invicta sells good looking watches. Um, you know, they're like a couple hundred bucks. Uh, you know, you don't need to get a Rolex, just keep, keep the basics guys. And you'll be like super good. But it is the most important thing when it comes to clothing. Absolutely. Okay. Grooming. You guys, women really take this seriously. And one of the things that they look at is your fingernails. I've had a lot of girls tell me that they'll blow guys out cause they have like dirt underneath their fingernails or that's the secret.

13:58 That guy understood that I didn't get. He was checking his fingernails. Or like, um, what are those, those hangnail pieces of skin? I've had girls tell me that they've blown guys out for that. I've had girls tell me they've blown guys out because their shoes were weird. Yeah. So it's, it's like, it's showing jobs, fucking sneakers. Oh yeah. With a turtleneck. Just start rocking that dude. Do that. Have a really good game and just like do a reaction video or something. I kind of want to do that.

14:25 You know, like there was this one video on YouTube where this guy opened chicks with a dildo strapped to his forehead. And he was getting good reactions and I was like, man, I wonder if I can do that. I wonder if I could pull that off. I think I probably could, but sometimes it's fun to give yourself a detriment and go open girls that way because then if they reject you, you have an excuse and it's a little bit easier in some weird way. So I actually like to open girls when I don't look my best sometimes because then it's like, well, if it didn't go good, you know, it's a little bit of an internal excuse.

14:55 But you know, I think you should always look your best because again, it just shows social intelligent women are social creatures. They want to know that you're in the know. They want to know that you have girlfriends. If you're dressed well and you have good style, you probably have women in your life. These are all the sub communications that you need to consider. Now grooming, it includes having nice fingernails, brushing your teeth, beard. If you have a beard, keep it, keep it groomed. I can't grow a beard.

15:24 Can you not really know, dude, it sucks because the beard is the, like the male boob job, right? It's the equivalent. My buddy has a beard. One of the guys I go gaming with and girls would just come up and like rub his beard and he gets like tons of attention for it. Shit. Yeah. So groom, groom your facial hair. I like to keep a five o'clock shadow since I can't get a beard. Let me take this. I'll be right back. All right. So definitely, you know, focus on your grooming hairstyle, especially to want a good hairstyle that matches your facial shape.

15:59 Focus on, you know, fingernails, shave your body hair too. You'll look more jacked if you shave your body hair. I shave my chest hair, you know, get that shit away because you'll look more jacked. You know, cologne, deodorants. I like, what's it called? Tactical soap. Have you heard of this mark? Tactical soap? Yeah, I have. Yeah. Yeah, they use pheromones. They put pheromones in their soap. So it's basically like, it's the stuff that women smell and that makes them horny. So it's called tactical soap. We talked about this in a future, in a past podcast.

16:27 Do you think that shit works? I mean, I've gotten a lot of compliments from that and the cologne that I use. So, I mean, yeah, I think it probably does. I know they've done like a lot of studies on like pheromones and like how women can smell. So one study, they lined up like, they had seven dudes sweat in a t-shirt. And they lined up all the girls and they like had them smell the t-shirts and like pretty much every girl, they were able to tell which man had the most testosterone levels just by the fucking smell, which is like so crazy to me.

16:58 So good cologne and like tactical soap is what I use. It's like super important. Did the tactical soap, was that part of the study where they, they... No, no, no, no. They just have regular men with like no cologne and soap and the girls were able to tell like which dude had the lowest stress hormones and the highest testosterone just from smelling it. It was just like crazy to me. That's a trip, dude. Yeah. God, poor girls. They had to smell seven BO shirts and broods.

17:23 I don't know. It sucks. All right. So grooming, come on guys, pull it together, man. Brush your teeth, fucking cut your fingernails. You know, pluck your unibrow, get the hair out of your nose. Like let's pull it together, dudes, because girls really notice this stuff. You got a big ass bean like from Taco Bell stuck on your tooth there. Come on, let's, let's go ahead and clean that off. Okay. Speaking of your smile is another thing that women notice. A lot of guys in the bars and the nightclubs, I noticed they try to have that like that tough guy GQ look like, yeah, I'm so good looking, but it's good to have a nice smile.

18:01 It shows charisma, obviously nice teeth are important. Brush your teeth. I, I strongly suggest using a water pick. Do you use that water pick? A water pick? Do you mean like flossing? It's, it's a version of flossing. So what it is, is it shoots water into your teeth. It's called water, water pick. That's the product they sell at Walmart and Target and things. But you, you basically brush your teeth with water. It shoots water out, bro. Like when I use that, it feels like I just went to the dentist.

18:31 So I'll brush, then I'll floss and then I'll water pick. It blows out all the little excess stuff in there. And it's like, yeah, check it out, man. I'll check that out. And I put hydrogen peroxide in it. Yeah, I do that too. That's a big thing is, is get some hydrogen peroxide, put on your toothbrush and just like brush with it every day. Cause that's, that's basically what dentists use to whiten your teeth. And it's available at Walmart for like three bucks instead of paying a dentist, like 500 bucks.

18:57 Just like put some hydrogen peroxide on your toothbrush with your toothpaste and just brush every day. You get those nice white teeth. Nice teeth, bro. If you're watching this on YouTube, you just got blinded by John's freaking all teeth. Okay, cool. So your smile. When I first opened a girl, always kind of have a nice smile on my face. It's not like a shitty grin. Like, Hey there, how you doing? It's kind of like, Hey, what's up? What's going on? And you have a nice, nice smile, a smirk as it were.

19:25 A smirk. Okay. A good, a good thing for the smirk too is like, like, I call it like, you know, something that she doesn't is like, it's like the mindset. It's like, you know, like you're, you know, something that she doesn't. And it's like, you're, you're like cool little secret. And you just like, just like have this little smirk, like, you, you know, something like that other people don't. And it creates this like instant chemistry where she wants to know more about you. She's like, who's like, why is he smirking?

19:49 Like what's, what's it creates curiosity, right? Uh, so good, a good smirk is like really, really good, but don't, again, don't overanalyze. Like the best way is just actually be happy because then you'll smile naturally. So take a five HTP to support serotonin. Uh, GABA is really good, you know, workout, like just build a good life and you'll be naturally happy. And a lot of these tips will follow just naturally. I noticed that too. Like, let's say I just got a payment or I just had a big success and I kind of, kind of have a smirk on my face as I'm walking through a crowd.

20:20 You get checked out a lot more when it's a, I'm winning in life kind of smirk. Yeah. And people are like, yeah, like what, what's going on with that dude? And there's, there's a swagger to you that comes when you, I don't want to go too much on a tangent here because this is so Mark Singh, but when you choose voluntary pain, you get to avoid involuntary pain. Right? So people say, how do I be happy? Let me avoid pain as much as possible. Watch Netflix, eat donuts.

20:46 But the real way to be happy is to go into your pain voluntarily. You choose the pain and then suddenly you become happiness. Happiness is out the other side and you become happy that way. So the way to master your life is to tackle it. There's no way around pain. You have to go through it. But when you chose to go through it, it actually becomes enjoyable in a weird way and you get happy. And then you get to walk around with a smirk on your face and you're like, what's up little heel?

21:12 How you doing? And she's like, wow, this guy's winning in life. I really want to be around him because it's your energy. So we're saying the 10 things that women notice about you, I didn't even put that in there. But really, the biggest thing is your energy. Your vibe, the feeling that you get. Probably part of the reason you guys like to watch this podcast or listen to it is like, we're usually in a good mood. Like, we're like coming at you. Hey, guys, how's it going?

21:37 And we have a good vibe about us because, I mean, we work on ourselves. We go into that pain voluntarily. So we get to have success at the other side. We have good state. And when you listen to this, when we talk to girls, you get that state because states are contagious. So having a good energy, Jesus, that should be number one. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to add to that or should we go to the next Jesus? Yeah, I was just going to add a quick story.

22:02 Like yesterday, I was in like a great mood yesterday. And, you know, I was just like everyone was, all the girls I talked to like were flirting with me. At like, you know, like I got my haircut and the girl was like practically falling over giggling. And I was just like, it's like, it's this, like you want to be happy, but like detached from the outcome too. You want to feel like whatever happens, like you're good. And you just like, you're just like here to share good energy as, as like cliche and dumb as that sounds, it actually is the truth.

22:30 So like get your vibe down and everything else will follow. Yeah, it really will. Really will. If you're happy, people want to be around you because states are contagious. So be happy. Even if you have to fake it until you make it, do you know when you feel down, if you just smile and you just hold a smile, you'll start to feel better because smiling, the act of smiling actually releases serotonin in your brain. So when you're feeling down, put on some music that you like, smile.

22:55 You know, one thing, one thing that just occurred to me the other day is like when you're having a bad time in your life, let's say a lot of things are going wrong. One really good thing to do is to put on a song you liked like 10 years ago, a song that you haven't listened to in forever. Then what happens is when you hear that song, you start to remember 10 years ago, all the things that happened in your life back then. And you feel like, wow, I'm a completely different person now.

23:21 And it just goes to show that this present situation is impermanent. I'm not going to be stuck here because just like things have changed so much since that time, things are going to change so much again. So I'm not stuck in this bad situation. Things can get better. Things have been better and they're going to get better. It's one really good way to break yourself out of a funk is to listen to a song that you really used to like, you know, when you were a kid.

23:46 That's called anchoring in NLP, right? Yeah. Yeah. Anchoring. One of the things we do in NLP, and by the way, I do offer NLP coaching. Go to coachmarksing.com, M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G.com. I'll go into that brain of yours and rewire things. One of the things we do is we have you feel a feeling, let's say approach anxiety, and you anchor it by grabbing onto a piece of your skin. And then we go back to the first time that you had that feeling. And through an NLP process, we let it go and we let go of the feeling.

24:18 That alone usually is enough for guys to overcome things like approach anxiety, shame, feeling embarrassed to approach a woman, feeling embarrassed about what people are thinking of you when you talk to her. These are all meta programs that have been written into your brain when you were a kid, usually given to you by somebody else like your parents. We can remove them and replace them. Shit's really, really effective. But one of the good things to do is to realize that all situations are impermanent. Things are going to get better, so look forward to that.

24:49 Okay, how you're interacting with others. Pre-selection also works into this. So when a woman looks at you and if you're at a bar and you're not talking to anybody, you're stifled, you have a frown on your face, you're not interacting, that's going to communicate to her that she probably doesn't want to talk to you. You're not the winner. You're not the winner. So what I suggest and what I do is when I'm in the bars, I'm Mr. Social and talking to everybody, even dudes, not caring so much what people think about me, just having interactions.

25:21 Then it's funny because you'll be like bantering with somebody. You'll really be having a good time. You're laughing. You're like having a great time, chopping it up. And you look and then suddenly there's a girl checking you out. The reason she's checking you out is because you're showing social intelligence. People like to be around you. You're feeling good. You have a good energy. She wants to know that you can interact with others because she's going to introduce you to her parents. She's going to be stuck with you, introduce you to her friends, hang out with you.

25:48 She wants to know that you're socially savvy in that way. So when you go out, even in your everyday life, be talking to people all the time. One of the ways I might open up a barista at Starbucks or like a checkout lady at the supermarket is to talk to somebody else in line and demonstrate my charisma, demonstrate. I call it staging, staging the open. So oftentimes before I open a hot girl, I'll stage it by showing her that I'm socially savvy with other people. So bring another girl over by her, make her laugh, drop charisma.

26:24 Other chicks really into it. She sees it. You've staged the open. Then you go over to that new girl and you open her up that way. You can use girls as a pivot in that respect and you can stage your opening. How you're interacting with others, very important. Super powerful too. And you'll find that like the best, the best state to be in is when you're like so happy and enjoying yourself that like, you know, like sex doesn't even matter. Like you'll, you'll just be like, yeah, you can come home.

26:52 I don't, I don't care. Like you're, I remember this one time I was, um, I brought this girl home like, like a while ago and, uh, I was like so much in the zone that I like, I, I, I like didn't even like want to have sex yet. I wanted to like draw it out with her. And then my neighbors who were next door, they were like, Hey dude, like come smoke with us. Uh, I don't know if for legal reasons I can even say what was going on, but, uh, basically like she got mad and stormed off cause she was like, he didn't fuck.

27:19 Like, why isn't he fucking yet? And it was like, I was in such a good mood. I just wanted to talk and be sociable. Right. And so socializing is an enjoyable activity for high status people and a discomfortable activity and uncomfortable activity for low status people. And what you'll find is that as you get more and more in state, you'll actually, this sounds so weird to say, and it's going to be so outside of like some guy's reality, but when you're really in state, it's more fun to socialize than it is to fuck a hot girl.

27:47 Yeah. It is that as crazy as that sounds. That's what I do every Thursday night, bro, is I just go out to be in state. Now, how do you get in state? That's the question is you warm up. So on my way to the club, I'm opening bums, I'm opening up fat chicks. I'm just getting warmed up. And then once you're warmed up, the flow starts. There's something called the flow state. And what that is, is things are just coming out of you. You're feeling good.

28:10 You're saying funny shit. Like right now I feel like I'm in the flow. I've had a coaching call today. I have a coaching call right after this. And when I'm warmed up like that, I just flow. Things are just coming out. I don't know what I'm going to say next. It's just going to come to me from a deeper intelligence. It's the flow state. It's really important. How do you get there? You get there by warming up, warming up, warming up. You work up to the hotter chicks.

28:33 And once you're there, you're just bantering. You're just, she don't come out of your mouth. And like John said, you'd rather just socialize and be in state than even go have sex with the girl. Because it's like, I don't know. It just, it's addicting, man. I get addicted to the serotonin hits of seeing that first moment. I could see it in her eyes when she gets attracted to me. It's like, bing, the light switch is turned on. And I'm just like, oh yeah, I got it now.

28:58 Now we can go to work, baby. And then, you know, you're just doing sexual tension and everything we've explained. But it's so fun, man. And I love doing coaching calls because I get in the state on coaching calls. I love doing the podcast. So even if you're not an extrovert, dude, I'm an introvert. This shit drains me. Same, same. Yeah, this shit really drains me. But at the same time, you can get in state off of it because simply you're enjoying the interaction, the energy flow.

29:25 You know, speaking of energy flow, sex could be considered synergistic energy exchange. Have you ever heard it explained that way, John? Yeah. It's the ultimate energetic engagement. Uh-huh. It absolutely is. And as we were discussing before this podcast began, when you have a girl you love and you have sex with her, totally different. Totally different situation. You know? It's really worth it. It's really worth it. Okay. It is, yeah. What's next? How to speak to her. You want to take the helm on that one? Sure.

29:54 So first thing is square up. So what you'll notice is that men, when they talk with one another, they're usually not facing each other directly. They're kind of side by side. But when you talk to a woman, you want to face her directly. You know, basically, the biggest mistake that I see is dudes just aren't loud enough. You know, like, if you're in a club and she can't even hear you, if she has to say what, it's over. Like, it's fucking over. She should never have to say what.

30:23 You should have a clear voice. Right? I mean, it's crazy because, like, dudes, they want to sleep with hot girls and they can't even speak loud enough to be heard. You know? And part of this is an unconscious block, too. You'll notice that if you're in a situation where you feel like you're low status, you won't be as loud. And, again, like, you know, there's nuance here. Like, you know, there's different things going on, different nuances. But in general, speak loudly and clearly. When you interact with her, some guys say that you shouldn't lean in.

30:52 But I personally do that. I'll start by leaning in. And then if she leans in back to me, then I'll keep doing it. And then maybe I'll stop at a certain point to get her coming in. Like, there's different things you can do. But the general idea, again, is man to woman. You know, create that chemistry. You know, square up with your body language. Face her. And then once the chemistry starts building, you can move in closer and maybe touch her, brush her shoulder. Like, whatever it is.

31:17 There's different tips. Mark is great with the tips. So, you know, follow what he has to say. But, you know, that's the biggest thing in my experience is just come with it from the frame of you're a man talking to a woman. And you could escalate, but you don't necessarily have to. Yeah, good stuff. She wants a great communicator. One of the best ways to become a great communicator is public speaking. Public speaking. I suggest Toastmasters. Toastmasters is a great place. It's a public speaking unit that basically meets people of all ages.

31:52 And you get to become really good at public speaking via Toastmasters. There's also public speaking classes at your local community college. Even if you're out of college and you're older, you can go take a college class. I've done this. Great way to meet women. And public speaking class is phenomenal. One of the best things you can do is get comfortable speaking in front of crowds. If you've been speaking in front of 500 people, and then that night you're speaking to a little girl in front of you who happens to be kind of cute, there's no comparison.

32:22 So you're not going to be influenced by her beauty. You're not going to be reacting to her. You're going to be controlling the frame, which is actually the last one, is your bearing, your frame. This is the most important thing. How you hold yourself. How you communicate to her. How you react to what she says. If she frame checks you, which means saying something mean to you, and you explain yourself to her, that is not good. If she frame checks you and you reframe it and you flip the tables on her, that is good.

32:51 Well, one of the ways to get good at frame control is to A, be in situations where you're speaking to lots of pretty girls and you're getting used to it. But B, also being in situations where you have to communicate to audiences, being in negotiations, being a salesman. A lot of my clients are salesmen and they're really good at frame control. It's being able to control the underlying meaning of the conversation. So, for example, and I say this one all the time because it's so fucking good.

33:18 If she says, ew, Mark, what's that shirt you're wearing? It's so stupid looking. It's got this little V-neck thing. Why are you wearing that? You could say, listen, I know you're trying to take off my shirt right now, sweetie, but this isn't the time or the place for that. Relax. Instead of, oh, this is a really nice shirt. You know, I got it from Macy's. It was like $50 and explaining yourself to her. When you don't buy into the woman's frame, but instead you set the frame, that shows everything you want to get a girl communicated, to get a girl attracted to you, I should say.

33:48 A woman cannot become attracted to you unless she knows that you have a stronger frame than she does. I want to say that again. A woman cannot become attracted to you unless you have a stronger frame than she does. How do you get a stronger frame? Experience, public speaking, putting yourself in social pressure type of situations. That's why I strongly suggest cold approach. And you get your frame, you get your bearing down. This is a gigantic thing she's going to notice about you, even when you're speaking to other people.

34:18 Because when you're speaking to other people, all the things that we've said, be loud, be happy, have a good vibe. That's all within the framework of frame, of your bearing, of who you are as a person, and of your energy. And this is so important. Guys think that it just comes down to money, comes down to looks. No, it's how you hold yourself, how you communicate, your presence, your bearing, how you stand, how you move. Subtle things, like even how your eyes move, is communicated with this.

34:51 So, look, you want women to notice you, work on the strength of your frame. How do you work on the strength of your frame? You work on your internal bullshit. And that's one of the reasons I strongly suggest getting coaching. So, you can reprogram the shit in your head. Once that's working functionally, then it gets represented in your body language. It gets represented in your tonality, your bearing, your frame. Everything gets fucking in alignment. Then, boom, instant attraction results because of it. So important, dude. Yeah, frame is always the most important thing because, you know, I mean, basically it's your mindset, right?

35:30 And a great way to have a good frame, like there's no shortcuts in my experience. There's little techniques like, you know, how to pass a shit test and things like that. But if you don't genuinely have a strong frame, it doesn't really matter what you say because it's going to come across as weak. So, you know, the best way in my experience to get a strong frame is to basically just continually expose yourself to situations that are new and that scare you. Because what will happen over time is you'll build this core confidence.

36:01 And when you get a little shit test at a club and, you know, it'll feel like, like, what? Like, this is so little compared to what I've been through, right? Like, that's really the only way to build a strong frame is continually pushing yourself and getting better. And, you know, again, there's no shortcut to that, right? We both sell products on, you know, developing this mindset, this masculine energy. I have, you know, seven strategies at get7strategies.com. But there's no way to just do it instantly overnight.

36:31 It's going to take years. You know, some quick tips, though, are, you know, learn how to pass a shit test, right? So when a girl tests you, you can either pass the shit test by amplifying it or reframing it. So if she says, you know, you're a player, aren't you? Either amplify it and be like, yeah, you know, you're the fucking 15,894th girl I've spoken to tonight. Or reframe it and say, yeah, I used to play hockey professionally or just something dumb like that, right? You know, another technique might be, you know, like one thing that I think is actually really interesting.

37:05 I talk about techniques sometimes, but I just, I love the inner game. One thing that's funny is like, have you ever seen, Mark, where like a girl will say something to a guy and he'll like, it's almost like it's so far outside of his reality. He can't even comprehend it. And he's just like, like, he has to like take a second to like, like think because he's like, like, say that he's like this, like giant high status dude. And this girl's like, like, you're stupid or whatever.

37:30 And it's like so far, he's like, it's so reality. He can't even comprehend it. Like, that's, that's where you want to be. Yeah. You want to be that dude who's just like winning and everything in life. So when you get those little dumb tests, it's like, your thought is like, do you even know who I am? Like, like, like, like, do you think you're talking to a chode right now? Right. It was like the mindset. So, um, you know, and again, this is the most important thing because you can have great looks, great, you know, everything.

37:55 But if you don't have the fucking frame, it doesn't matter. Yeah. So important, dude. And we should do, we should do a podcast just specifically on frame control. Yeah. There's so many different ways to reframe, agree and amplify, misinterpretation, uh, flip the tables on her. There's so many things that I teach on how to do that. But the most important thing, in my opinion, is frame control. And she's going to notice that about you probably before you even speak to her. I used to be much better looking than I am now.

38:26 You know, I'm 42 years old now. Things are starting to sag and wrinkle and get pretty bad. And in my twenties, I was much better looking, but I get way more attention now from girls. I win winning is when a girl checks you out or gives you the green light. I win way more now with girls. Why? It's just how I hold myself. That's it. It's just my frame. She sees me communicating with other people, even dudes, doesn't even have to be girls. And she could see immediately like, okay, this is a high status dude.

38:53 You are uncommon among common men, which is what David Goggin says. Actually, David Goggin says uncommon among uncommon men. But, you know, you got to be uncommon among common men. Every guy wants to be a girl magnet. How many guys are girl magnets? Maybe 1%, one in 100 dudes. It doesn't take overnight to get there. You know, even if you work with me, in three months, I can teach you everything you need to know. But it's still going to take a year, two, maybe even three years to develop that bearing, that look in your eyes.

39:29 I cannot give that to you, right? When I look at John Anthony, there's just that look. It's a very subtle, I can't even explain it. But sometimes you just look at people and you're like, he has that look in his eyes. He's awake. He's alert. He's not just like derping through life with this like, uh, like he's, I have this theory on that. I think it's like. What is it, dude? What's your theory? I want to know because I've been thinking about this lately. Dude, I don't, I don't know.

39:54 But I think like, I think the theory is that. So the higher status you get, the sharper you are. And it's not necessarily because you're smarter. It's because your brain feels comfortable giving you resources to act in the environment. Because if you think you're low status, then you're not going to act as much in the environment because you're afraid of retaliation. Right. What it is, I think, is you look at someone and you can see that their eyes are like fully processing information. Like they're, they're like taking information in very rapidly and they're like giving it out very rapidly as well.

40:31 Like with their state. Right. Like some people have this like very, like, like this, like dull look where it's like, they're just kind of coasting through life. But then some people you can see like, and I don't know what it is. You, you, you just get this like feeling from them where they're like awake, you know? I love that, dude. That's going to fuck me up right there, bro. It's going to give me two days of shit to think about. But it's also what I noticed, you know, Tyler Durden from RSD.

40:54 Yeah. We both have talked about him. We really respect him. I always look, I always look at his eyes. Yeah. It's also a relaxed, it's like, you're not threatened by your environment. You know that you have the resources, experience, and intelligence to deal with whatever challenge might come to you. Yeah. So there's a level of complete comfort in addition to being awake and cognizant. It's like engaged, but you're like, like outcome independent is like people. Yeah. And that's exactly how you need to be with girls, right?

41:25 Is outcome independent yet engaged. Man, that's, that's good stuff, dude. I love that. That's going to give me a lot to think about, but it's like that look. Can you fake that look? No, that just comes from experience opening, you know, opening thousands of girls, having all these conversations. Can you speed up the process? Oh, hell yeah. Hire a coach like myself. I mean, you're literally shaving years and years and years off the journey, but to get to that level of mastery, you know, they say to master anything, it takes 10 years.

41:55 Yeah. Well, 10,000 hours, 10,000 hours. Right. And that's 10 years. But to get to that level of mastery, if you have the shortcuts, which there are some, um, you can get there faster, but ultimately it's hard work, man. It's experience. It's doing the opening is it's talking to the girls. It's being in an experience where you literally have a line of chicks waiting to talk to you. You have a chick dancing on this leg, grinding her crotch on this leg, a girl pulling your shirt from this leg, uh, from this side, which I dare say I've had just because I've worked on myself so much.

42:25 And I used to never get that when I was much better looking in my twenties. And the reason I'm able to experience that now is simply because I had the courage to go into voluntary pain to avoid the involuntary pain of not having sexual choice. So really good stuff, man. Um, as our conversations tend to do, they went much deeper than the title would have you think, but I think we covered it pretty thoroughly. And, uh, I think it was a good one. So you can learn more about me by going to coach marksing.com.

42:57 Again, I am an NLP coach, neuro linguistic programming, and I'll get in that brain of yours and reprogram. So you can communicate these things without even trying. And that's really how it works. You can't try you. It's finesse. It just happens. So I'll help you get there much faster than if you went in alone, John. Yeah. And I've got masculinedevelopment.com. You can actually go to my website and get a free ebook on how to text women. You can get the exact copy and paste text messages that I've used to fuck well over a hundred girls, uh, masculinedevelopment.com.

43:31 Uh, and you know, the techniques are great that I share, but it's always about the inner game. So keep that in mind, guys. Do I have that look in my eye, John? Pull it a little more to the left. There you go. Was that it? Yeah. Hey, good stuff, guys. Hey, please like, comment, subscribe. Jesus. We work so hard on these things for you guys. And, uh, we just appreciate if you can help us build our following because on YouTube, it's been a little weak sauce, dude, a little weak sauce.

44:02 But on iTunes and Spotify, we actually did good. Um, on our last one, we got way more downloads than previous. So we're motivated to keep the content coming. Um, hit me up. If you want one of those t-shirts I was talking about, I'm thinking about kind of, yeah, dude. Like, you can have an army of Mark sings going like gaming. Yeah. And then on the back, it says, be your own hero. I mean, come on, dude. It's so sick. I'll show you the design, man. It's so sick.

44:26 So, uh, hit us up, man. Ask us questions, comment, like, subscribe, all that shit. We do appreciate your patronage and we'll see you in the next podcast. All right.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.