How to Talk to Girls With Tripp Kramer

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Welcome to another episode of the UNP. Thank you very much for joining me. If you've been writing with us for a long time, you know what to do. That's right. Smack yourself on the ass. You are a goddamn champion. If this is your first time listening, welcome. What I try to do in this podcast is give the best information in the most succinct way possible and easily digestible 20-minute episodes.

0:42 And that's what we're going to do today because we have an amazing guest. I'm so excited to introduce you to this ultimate champion. You guys are going to get tons of value from this. Today's guest is an internationally known dating coach and founder of TripAdvice.com. He's also the creator of the popular YouTube channel, TripAdvice. And he is the host of his own weekly podcast entitled, How to Talk to Girls. It's my pleasure to welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the man, the myth, the legend, Mr.

1:08 Trip Kramer. Kramer, Kramer, Kramer, Kramer. Wow. You are now ranking in the number one person to ever give me the best introduction ever. So I appreciate that, man. That was great. That was my goal, dude. I was like, all right, how can I blow this champion away with my introduction? So I wrote that up right before we jumped on. But Trip, man, so stoked to have you. You know, guys, I was telling Trip, I actually went on his podcast a couple of weeks ago and my downloads exploded.

1:47 And I actually mentioned that on a few episodes after I went on your show, Trip. And brother, I just appreciate, you know, you helping me out in that way. I'm a somewhat new podcaster compared to you, although I've been in the dating game for a long time. But the podcasting thing kind of just started that recently. So you helping me out is greatly appreciated. It's a testament to your character that you were willing to do that. And today I want to give you the platform to show these guys just what you know, because guys, this guy is really good.

2:18 He's an amazing dating coach. And I want you to check out his podcast, How to Talk to Girls, after you listen to this one. So today, guys, what we're going to talk about is the approach, you know, the thing that most of you are afraid of. And I really want to pick Trip's brain as to how he suggests you approach girls, how you talk to them, get them attracted to you, and how to grab their phone number if we have time for that. So, Trip, before we get started, man, I just want you to kind of introduce yourself to the listeners.

2:46 Tell us a little bit about your history, how you got into this niche, and give us a little intro to what you're all about. Totally, totally. Well, thank you for having me on the podcast, and I actually found you from someone who mentioned you. They DM'd me on Instagram and said something about, you know, Mark Singh, and I was like, wow, that's interesting. I never heard of him, and then I checked you out and listened to a few of your episodes, and I just thought they were great, and we talked about a lot of the same things.

3:16 And also, you know, in this industry, I know there's a lot of dating coaches, and this is our line of work and what we do, and I really don't see competition, you know, because at the end of the day, you and I might be saying the same exact thing, potentially, but people are going to like you and the way you say it. People are going to like me and the way I say it, so I just really enjoy being able to, you know, discuss and talk to people who are, you know, coaching guys, and it just is, it was a pleasure and is a pleasure now to be talking to you on your podcast and really excited to do so.

3:50 So, okay, about me, for the guys who have never heard of Tripp, well, I've been a coach for, I'd say around the past, I always say nine to 10 years officially, but I've been doing it for even just a little bit longer than that because I had an older podcast that I did back in 2009 before I really officially made myself a coach. It was just a podcast I did for fun with a buddy, and the reason why we did that podcast is because I was out and about learning how to meet women, I always coined myself and still coin myself from who I was before as the friend zoned, nice guy, that's who I was always getting friend zoned, and just being the kind of nice guy who never really wanted to share my real thoughts or opinions and always was a people pleaser.

4:42 And doing things for myself and if you are that person, or if anyone listening relates to that person, you know, as well as I did, that doesn't get you very far in the dating game, that's not a very attractive behavior to a woman and and over time, I noticed that and realized after discovering a lot of the information that was out there online, that you could actually learn how to change those ways. And you can also tap into more attractive behavior that will actually attract women that you didn't think that you could initially attract.

5:19 So I tested some of that stuff out, I went through my own boot camp, so to speak, meaning I go out and I would practice approaching and learning how to do it and get over my fear. And I'm making it sound easy as I say it, but let me just say in the last 10 seconds, that I just explained that I mean, that is me summarizing a few hardcore months of extreme emotional pain. And I'm talking like just being down on myself being full of fear, giving up almost like multiple, multiple times, because I just found it so challenging, but I didn't stop.

6:00 I kept going because I looked at it and I said, well, okay, I'm going on trying to approach women, trying to meet women in real life, because online dating was, it was starting to get big at the time, but it just wasn't really producing the results I wanted. So I knew I had to get into some sort of in person approaching if I wanted to meet women that I really wanted to meet because I wasn't able to really go to a lot of parties at the time.

6:24 I didn't have a lot of friends in the city that I just moved to at that time. So I was forced to do this if I wanted to have some sort of dating life. And I really just I didn't want to give up because I realized that at that point, either I give up and I'll be in the same exact place where I am or I can keep going and hey, maybe something will change. And I didn't know, I didn't know if anything would change, I just, you know, had to put myself out there and experiment with going out and approaching women and talking to women getting over the fear.

6:51 And lo and behold, after weeks and weeks of, of going out and approaching as many women as I could, I'm talking, by the way, starting off by like barely saying a word to a woman like saying hi, and then like, basically running away, okay. And then and then getting to the point where I would build upon that and then have longer conversations and get to the point where I'd ask them for their number. And then eventually take some of those women on dates and, and just keep on pushing myself through that process.

7:17 And so over about the first three months, I started to see a lot of results in doing it. And then over the next course of the next year and a half, so two years total, I would see even more results just getting better at it and learning more about how to be more proactive and assertive and, and really tap into the masculine or let's just say attractive behaviors that women are looking for in a man. And so that was something that I did for myself, I never thought I was going to be a coach, I never thought I was going to have a podcast, so then I started my first podcast after getting better at it, again, just for fun.

7:55 But then I realized I was pretty good at helping guys and explaining it and breaking it down. So then I realized, you know what, this is my mission, this is something I have to do. And this is all I want to do. And that was back in 2010 2011, where I made that choice to jump full time into doing coaching and I've been doing it ever since. And it's funny because people ask me like, how do you say the same things over and over, you've been saying the same things for the past 10 years and, and they're right.

8:23 And sometimes it gets like, oh, okay, I'm repeating myself, you know, to me, but I know that there's so many men out there that need this help. And it always feels amazing to have a new platform like this, for example, to speak to men who haven't heard my stuff or, or just really reach a new guy and, and change lives. And it's been incredible and I love doing it. And that's why I am here. And I don't know if I'll ever stop. I think I'll be doing this for a very, very long time.

8:53 And it's been very rewarding. And I just see myself in all the guys that are trying to learn this stuff, this stuff, because I was not a natural, you know, I did not have that charisma, but I learned to dive into that and build that character. And I'm in full belief that guys can do the same thing if they just have the right advice, the right guidance, and really know the truth about how attraction works. Yeah. And how long would you say it took you to get quote unquote good?

9:23 So I know I started in the same place as you did for pretty much the same story is I was doing it for myself to begin with. Couldn't look at a girl, let alone go talk to one to the point. I am now, you know, I always told my guys to do it alone without anybody helping you. It's 10 years. How long did it take you? Now I know you had some like double your dating, maybe some RSD mystery method techniques, but how long did it take you to get quote unquote good?

9:50 Okay. Are we talking about from the moment I read my first piece of dating advice, or are we talking about from the moment that I actually put the dating advice to use? Let's go with put the dating advice to use because that's probably where most of the guys are now. Okay. So I would say that it probably took a good year. Yeah, that's impressive. Yeah, a year. But I'm talking about an intense year, right? This is not just like, oh, you know, once in a while I'd go out and it was kind of like, oh, I'd read up on stuff and, you know, practice some things I'm talking about.

10:24 It was my life. I was going out more times and I don't even know if any guy would be able to keep up with this. I mean, it was like three to like on the worst week, twice I was going out to practice this stuff. And on the best week, it would be like, well, it'd be like weeks in a row. So I did a couple stints in that year where I went out every night for and days when they allowed it because I still had a job for three weeks.

10:50 So I did three weeks, then another time I did another three weeks, but then I would still continue to go out about four to five times per week. So it was, it was quite a bit of work. I think anyone can get pretty good in a year and get the results they want in a year. I don't even know if they have to do as much as I did. You know, I think like the people who I ever talked to who have done it that much, a lot of those guys end up turning into coaches, you know, because I don't know.

11:15 At the end of the day, people who want to get good at this, like myself when I first started was, it was just something that they would just wanted to get better at because they wanted a girlfriend. They want to get married one day, they wanted to, you know, whatever, have fun and have casual dating and, and all that. And that's what I wanted to, but I just really enjoyed the process and I really enjoyed the material and, and the just really, really appreciated all the psychology behind it.

11:40 And it was just like all these different aspects just spoke to who I was and that's why I took it to the next level to become a coach. And what's interesting is I think I got better as I started coaching, you know, I don't know. I don't know if I'm quoting here, but something I've heard and it makes perfect sense to me is when you start to teach it, it reinforces all the stuff so much more in your head. And so this is my first tip to any guys out there.

12:07 When you start to learn things and you start to get a little bit of results from it, take a friend or whoever under your wing and mentor them. And it's going to make you better and also it's going to be awesome that you're doing that for someone, but it's going to make you better at the end of the day. So I think I started to get progressively better at it and, and yeah, so I think that's as long as it takes is, is a solid year of putting in that work.

12:30 Again, you don't have to be going out three weeks in a row here, three weeks in a row there and four, you know, five to six nights a week. But if you can manage an average of two to three times per week in a full course of a year going out and practicing approaching and, you know, you can even throw in like that. One of those times can be an event that you go to or a party that you go to, you know, you can count that as well.

12:54 And those happen throughout the year. And of course, maybe not now as much, but you know, that is, that is time that you need to put into it. And, you know, we're talking about getting better at the approach. It's like playing an instrument. It's like playing a sport. It's a skill, which is awesome. When something is a skill, that means that if you put work into it, you can get better. Didn't know that by the way, 15 years ago when I was, you know, in my early twenties and in college, didn't know that something you could work on.

13:22 But it is, as you know, because you're listening to this podcast right now, and if you put enough effort and energy into it, you will start to get results. So it is possible for any guy as long as you put the time in. Yep, absolutely agree. So being it that us teaching it also helps us and we talk those guys under our wing and give them the advice to, you know, approach women. That's what I want this podcast to be about is approaching and talking to them.

13:50 So let's get started into the tactical aspects of, you know, how we can approach a woman and let's take the beginner, okay, or maybe a guy who's been studying this for a little while. Most of my listeners are somewhat adept with this kind of stuff. So let's take that guy and pretend we're taking him out into the field and start with the approach and let's give them a little lesson as to how they can do this. So what would you tell him, okay, so if we're talking to the noob to the guy, so the noob is the guy who's pretty scared to talk to women and he just doesn't know what to say and doesn't know what to do.

14:28 And he's very afraid of putting himself out there. So the first thing I'm going to tell that guy to do is just expose yourself to the interaction of talking to a stranger. So this is known as exposure therapy. Another term is systematic desensitization, which just means you're applying a systematic method to desensitizing yourself to what's scary. So what you'll do here is you'll just pick anything that you feel is comfortable to ask someone. I always say ask where Starbucks is, ask where a nearest coffee shop is, ask directions somewhere, just ask something.

15:10 That's usually the easiest. Most guys can do that. Most guys I've talked to, they can at least do that a couple times. So it's kind of like level one, I like to look at this like a video game, okay, I used to love video games when I was a kid, it's like, all right, level one is always the easiest, right? And then once you get to like level 10, like you're playing the final boss, it gets, it gets a little bit harder, but you get better and better as you go.

15:32 So level one is just that, okay, let's go out, let's just make an excuse to talk to any stranger. Of course, you're learning how to approach women, right? So try to make it a woman, someone that you would be somewhat attracted to, that makes it a little bit harder, because we all know that it's much harder for us to speak to a woman we're attracted to versus a man or another woman who we're not attracted to. So make it that level one. If that's hard for you, then go down to like level zero, where it just, you're asking anyone direction somewhere and just you're getting used to approaching a stranger.

16:07 Okay, cool. So you can do that. You can do that five times in a row. Can you do that five times in a row for a couple of days in a row, maybe for a couple of weeks? Yeah, trip. Got it. Did it. Done. Easy. All right, we'll go to the next step. The next step is now, I want you, by the way, what I'm teaching you right now, this is exactly what I teach my coaching clients. This is like word for word, not holding anything back.

16:27 So this is exactly what I do to help them get better at this. Although we we paste this out over the course of many weeks. But this is the general map here. Okay, so the next thing is, I want you to learn how to do what's called a warm up approaches. Okay, so a warm up approach is just you going up to a woman and saying, Hey, I just want to say you look really nice today, have a nice day, and then you walk away. So now this is called a warm up approach.

16:54 This is not a good opener. I wouldn't use this as an opener. Okay, this is just warming up. Because no matter what, even myself, I noticed that, you know, even this day and age, like approaching, you got to do your warm ups, I always say to guys, you're not better than your warm ups, it just helps you get you a little bit in the zone. And it starts to decrease some of that fear. Okay, so you got to do a few warm ups. If you can do those warm ups, great.

16:59 Now you're ready for what is the so called final level in just the approach, which is going up to a A woman and saying, Hey, noticed you over here, I wanted to come say hi, I'm trip. Are you from Chicago? Of course, you'll say your name and the city that you're in. But that's going to be the, in my opinion, the best approach you could do. It's a direct approach. I know there's a lot of information out there. What's better indirect versus direct, whatever works for you.

17:29 I've just noticed that guys who try to do indirect approaches and indirect meaning, you're going over there to talk about something else other than I'm here to talk to you. It's a really hard transition. It's like almost more work. Like, yeah, it's easier to get in. But it's more work involved. It's like, okay, now you got to like talk about all this stuff. And then eventually, you're somehow maneuvering it over to flirty with them and you're getting their number, it's just kind of like weird and awkward.

17:59 And I don't feel it's very natural. So I think it's better to just go over and say, Hey, wanted to, you know, come say hi. I wouldn't, by the way, I want to be very specific here. I know I just kind of gave a lot. So let me really break this down. Is this approach is not complimenting them. So you're not saying I thought you looked pretty. You thought you looked cute. It's just saying, Hey, I wanted to come meet you. The warm up approach is that right?

18:24 Because that's kind of hard just going directly up to someone and saying, Hey, I just want to say you look very nice today. Have a nice day. That's just a warm up because it's kind of hard. It's really putting yourself out there. So you warm up with that line. And then when you're all kind of warmed up, you've done five approaches, then you can approach and do the Hey, I wanted to come meet you on a trip. I'm curious, are you from, and then the city that you're in, that's your conversation continuer.

19:04 So that is the best way to get in there. Now what I've done there in the past five minutes of explaining all this, that could take you a month, it can maybe take you two months. I've even worked with some guys where it takes them three months or more. Every guy's at a different level. Some guys have very, very intense approach anxiety. By the way, that was me, I was on the really hard end of that. I was very, very scared to approach and talk to women.

19:23 So it took me, yeah, it took me several months to get used to that and get really comfortable with starting the conversation. So that's okay. Don't think about this as, you know, you need to get this done in a week and you need to be good at it. As long as you can get through this process that I just described, in about three months, you're solid, because you're going to go through a lot of trial and error. You're going to do these approaches. You're You're going to find that you're not really great at continuing conversations, you'll have to work on that.

19:53 But really half the battle is just getting in there and jumping in there. And I always abide by the three second rule, which was coined by mystery from mystery method. Three seconds get in the longer you wait to do an approach, the higher the chance that you're not going to do it. Because the longer that you wait, you're not going to do it. Because the longer that you wait, you build it up in your mind, you give yourself a lot of excuses, a lot of, we talked to this on my podcast when you were on Mark, all the limiting beliefs, right?

20:17 So you go through all those in your mind, and then you will convince yourself not to do it. So you kind of have to not think now the three second rule, I understand, is not easy, guys are going to go off and try the three second rule, and they're not going to be able to do it. That's going to take practice. Okay, if you can get into three seconds, that's awesome. Like, that's, that's a great little feat. Okay, but you're going to have to practice getting through the three second rule.

20:40 Now I just want to add one more thing in here is that was sort of a day approach, a night approach, very similar, I would just say something a little more cut and dry, like right to the point is you can just like tap them on the shoulder, and just put out your hand for a handshake and just say I had to meet you. That's it. And then you can continue and say, Are you from Chicago? Are you from Chicago? Are you from whatever city? Okay, so there's that?

21:10 I just gave you the instructions on how to literally approach any girl anywhere, anytime. Like that's it. Okay. Now, sometimes, you're going to notice that you might be able to do more of a direct situational opener, where you comment on something that they're holding, wearing or doing. Okay. And I think that's great, too. I don't think you have to always approach and say, Hey, I had to meet you. If there's an opportunity where she's got a cute dog, she's wearing something interesting, you notice a cool tattoo, sunglasses, I don't know, something, maybe she's doing something in the park, whatever.

21:40 Cool, you can comment on that. I like that. That's great. A lot of guys, though, they try to rely on that because they just want it to be more smooth. They don't want to go so direct and say, Oh, I just wanted to come meet you because they're afraid of rejection. But the The problem is, you won't always have the opportunity to be able to comment on something she's wearing, holding or doing that won't always present itself. I'd say probably 25% of the time, it will present itself.

22:10 And 75% of the time, you're not you're not, it's gonna look like a normal girl who's not walking a dog who's not wearing anything interesting who doesn't have a tattoo, whatever it is. And so you're kind of stuck, but you're not stuck because you can always fall back to the default opener. Hey, I wanted to come meet you. And again, if that is hard for you to do, you work your way up to that by doing warm up approaches. And by just getting yourself out there and exposing yourself to it as much as you can.

22:40 So there you go. Fantastic. So initially, we open with the Hey, I wanted to come meet you. What's up? What's your name? I'm trip, right? And then we can stack on top of that if we wanted to an observation about what she is doing. So what you said is, if there's something that you can make an observation about, and approach her on that, like, Hey, that's a cute dog. What is that you can approach with that, but you can also stack it onto the back of what you said initially, Hey, I wanted to come meet you.

23:10 What's up? My name is trip. She's like, Hey, what's up? My name is Angie. And then you say, are you from Chicago? No, actually moved here from Florida. Oh, that's cool. So, Hey, listen, what kind of, what kind of dog is that? I saw that you walk in your dog, blah, blah, blah. You have another conversational topic to talk about. So in the case trip where there's nothing like you said, right, you go up, you go up, you see her, she's cute. There's no tattoo. There's no dog.

23:40 There's no Starbucks. There's no nothing. Do you have canned, uh, openers that you stack on top of the initial opener? Or what would you suggest we talk about after we open? So the next question is, are you from, is a great way to bridge the opening to a conversation. So you say, are you from the city? There's only so many responses. Yeah, I'm from here. Or, uh, no, I'm not from here. Okay. So if she's from there, you would say, Oh, cool. And then you say, let me guess.

24:17 You live in, you know, whatever neighborhood. Doesn't matter. You just say like, let me guess you're from here. Or she says, or maybe she gives you a neighborhood. Oh, you know, I live in Pilsen. Pilsen is a neighborhood, by the way, in Chicago. And then you can say something based on the fact that she said the keyword Pilsen. So I would say, Oh, have you ever been at that one Vietnamese restaurant? I went to there a few years ago with friends. It was amazing. You know what I'm talking about, right?

24:28 And she'll say like, yeah, I do. Or she'll say, no, I don't. And I'm like, Oh, so there's always like a branch out somewhere, depending on where they say, where they're from. Or they'll say, no, I'm not from here. That's a great one. Cause obviously they're going, Oh, where are you from? And then she'll say like Florida. Or she'll say whatever other city or she's visiting or whatever. And then that can obviously transition to that whole category of, of where she's from. Now, if you get stuck there, what you can do is a few things.

24:57 So one thing you can do is you can say, you can play the let me guess game, but you only want to do this like once or twice. If you do too much, it just becomes weird. So I like to say like, let me guess you are a, and you guess what they do for a living. And you can literally say anything you want. Obviously don't say anything like you're a hooker, you know, or something. That might be, you know, that might be rude, but it doesn't matter what you say.

25:27 You can say something totally PC and still it just continues to come. Let me guess you're a librarian. Let me guess you're a nurse. I don't know. There's something about you that, that makes me feel like you want to save the world. I literally just made that up right now. So just like, let me guess something, something, something, and that can go into heavier conversation. Another let me guess is, and this is one of my favorite topics of conversation to use. If you find that things are not getting off to a good start, meaning they're not continuing or she's not adding to the conversation is, can I take a guess?

25:54 You're an Aries, aren't you? And you just comment on their sign or what their sign is. And she's like, no, I'm not. I'd say, okay, I give up. What are you? And she'll say, oh, I'm a Libra. And then you say, are you into that? Do you follow that stuff? Most girls do. So you can get into a nice little conversation about all that stuff. And then for those who don't, you can say, oh man, that's interesting. And you can comment on maybe why you don't follow that stuff or you don't believe it.

26:17 And you can say something like that. Or you can say, or maybe as a guy, you do believe in that stuff. You can say, why don't you believe in that stuff? Oh, it's so true. And you can have like a little fake like argument about it. Right. So you just kind of have fun with it. So I love going into what's your sign. And I know guys might be like, that's lame. I don't want to talk about that. It's like, well, you're really missing out. And a great opportunity because that really helps spark a conversation.

26:47 So if you want some little hacks, like use that or use let me guess in terms of what they do for a living. Now, this is a little bit more advanced. And when I say advanced, I just mean, you're going to be able to do this next one if you're a little less nervous and more in the moment, which is now you can actually comment on something that you see with her. Okay, so maybe from far, or it's dark in the bar, you can't see her, she's kind of far away in the sidewalk.

27:14 And so you didn't notice anything far away. So you went with the default opener. But now you're in front of her. So you do notice interesting earrings, you do notice an interesting bracelet, you do notice her sunglasses, you do notice the tattoo, the ring, the this or that. So that point, that could be something you can comment on just to continue conversation. So not to make this any more difficult for guys, but really the idea here, by the way, once you get this, like you're golden, like it doesn't go past here, like this is the last kind of tip, or at least the last level of progression you need to get to.

27:53 And this, again, might take a few months to get to this point. You just don't want to stay on the same topic of conversation for that long. If you go and you approach her and you talk about her dog and you're talking about her dog for 20 minutes, you're just a guy who stopped her and talked about her dog. That's all you are now. You're just a guy who stopped and talked about her sunglasses. You're just a guy who's talking about tattoos. You're just a guy who's talking about are you from Chicago and you guys are talking about Chicago for 20 minutes.

28:21 Or you're talking about the neighborhood she's from for 20 minutes. So the idea is you don't have to be super ADD and like go and bounce every single second to a new topic of conversation. But you want to ideally get to a point where you're talking to her for at least 10 to 30 minutes, so 10 at the minimum, where you guys have had a significant amount of time together, where you've talked about a few things. So it's not the guy who just approached her to talk about one thing.

28:46 It's a guy who came and started a conversation with her, a guy who she can get to know a little bit, start to gain trust and safety with, which is important for attraction. And then realize, you know what, this guy is pretty confident. He's pretty charismatic. I got to know him a little bit. Yeah, I'll give him my number. And that can be just enough to actually get a number from a woman because she's looking for behavior. Yeah, she's looking how you look. You don't want to go up to her and smelling terrible and, and, you know, dressed, you know, I don't know, like a homeless person.

29:21 You want to look your best, but you don't need to be super tall, super athletic. You know, you just good enough to go over there and then hold conversation. You would be shocked that if you can just master that skill, how many numbers you can get from a bar, a party, a sidewalk, a grocery store. It's pretty insane. As long as you just master some of those little skills there. Yeah. And a lot of guys get stuck on the content. Well, what do I say? What do I talk about?

29:41 And certainly both trip and I give you guys that information. Me, for example, I have scripts to answer the standard questions that we always ask each other. What do you do? Where are you from? How old are you? Things like that. So we have scripts for that just to make it a little bit easier, but ultimately, and trip, I want to get your opinion on this. Is it the content itself or is it the presenter? And if it is the presentation, how can we get better at that kind of going back to what you said?

30:20 I just kind of want to give you a softball here to lead into what I'm alluding to. What is it really that matters and how do they get better at getting that? Yeah, totally. So it is the presentation or in terms of like you, it is more about how you're behaving more than how you're looking. And, but here's the thing. The conversation has to have a little pizzazz to it. You know, like it can't be just that. And it sounds like you, you teach that a lot, Mark, like how to answer some of these boring questions.

30:48 But the good news is it doesn't have to be mind blowing. It just doesn't. But it's got to be a little bit more than, oh, cool. So you do this for work. That's fun. Do you like it? You know what I mean? Like, it's got to be a little bit more. You got to be a little bit more excitable and add in some, some flirting and things like that and some teasing. But you don't have to do much. It doesn't have to be, you know, just the most amazing, interesting topics of all time.

31:12 And by the way, that's why I'm always saying, don't stay on one topic, because eventually, if you're able to switch topics enough, you'll end up landing on something where you guys are connecting on. And then it's going to be fun. And whatever that may be, it's travel, it's work, it's a hobby, it's the fact that they just moved here, it's restaurants, it's this and that. Like, you just want to move from topic to topic. And so you can eventually land on one that really resonates. But again, not too long, you don't want to be then, you know, staying on that for too long, you want to move and go to other ones.

31:54 But yeah, it's more about your behavior. It's more about you're this guy who's showing confidence. It's kind of like this. Most guys, I'd imagine, would, you know, a girl comes up to them, and she's her cleavage is popping out, she's got a short skirt, she's got long, you know, blonde hair. I think most guys would probably be like, wow, this girl's pretty, right? So she's coming over to you, you're probably not going to care too much about. You probably wouldn't care if it's the most boring conversation in the world, woman comes up to you who's physically attractive, who seems normal and not crazy, right?

32:29 That's gonna be fine for you as a guy, because men are more attracted to the physical parts of a woman than behavior. I'm not saying that the way she behaves doesn't count. Of course it does. Like you do enjoy and are attracted more to a woman who might have similar interests, yada, yada. But in the beginning, it's more the looks for a woman. It's a little complicated, yet is the looks like she is looking at you and she is saying to herself, this guy's attractive. He's not physically, but you can make up for that with the way that you behave because women are more focused on behavior.

33:05 That's what makes them more attracted to a man. And this goes back to like caveman days, where it was important for a man to have certain behavioral traits that were attractive to a woman so he could actually provide and he can be the leader of the family and help them survive. So that's gonna be through just giving really good eye contact to a woman, talking to a woman, not necessarily a deep voice, but a voice where you're not always going up and in pitch like this.

33:31 So it makes you seem uncertain of yourself. So if you can just have good eye contact, some breaking rapport tonality, which is what that is called. And then be it's funny, I don't know what better way to put this than just like be a normal dude who when I say that I just mean like, be aware of what's going on socially in the conversation. Like you don't want to be staring at her in the eyes with like a deadpan look on your face with no smile, like, you know, smile a little bit.

33:59 Just relax your body a little bit, you know, be aware of what's going on in conversation so you can comment on it like a girl really just wants to make sure that she's not talking to a psycho, because women have to deal with that on a constant basis. And safety is really important. So this combination of you look your best that you can look physically, you know, wear the clothes that match your body type, things like that, groom all that stuff. Okay, great, optimize your looks, go do the approach, show her your cool normal guy.

34:29 And then behaving in a confident way, in a way that showing that you're not scared to talk to her. This is going to sub communicate to her that there is something about you that's attractive. And this will be enough to get a woman's number, not every woman's number, but more than you're getting right now for sure. Yep. Great advice. Great advice. And you call it systematic exposure. I call it reps. And the way you guys get comfortable is as I always talk about is learning how to take that social pressure by doing the reps by getting into conversation.

35:05 So how do you get there? You get there by doing it. And that's, it's just the way it works. You just have to get those reps in. And then once you're comfortable, just like Trip said, you know, you just want to be a chill, cool, normal guy who's confident speaking to her and not so intimidated and going into screensaver mode, as I call it, because she's so hot. If you can just be normal, add in some pizazz, as Trip was saying, you can get the phone number.

35:25 So this has gone on for a bit, but I love the advice you give. So could we just wrap this up with how to grab her phone number, maybe your best one or two lines or statements or strategies to grab the phone number, and then we'll wrap it up. I just want to also give a quick tip, something that is a mindset hack that I tapped into and figured out over time is that you're so this person that we're describing who's comfortable with women, who's just chill, a cool, normal guy, that dude is the guy is you when you're hanging out with your friends.

36:09 So when you're hanging out with your friends, the way you speak to them, the way you're just like, relax, you're not thinking about it, you don't think too much about, are they judging me? Are they looking? But you're not overthinking, let's say or overanalyzing the situation, you're the most comfortable, chill version of yourself. So you got to try to tap and I know that's not going to happen instantly. But over time, as you get a little bit more comfortable with approaching, try to just tap into that mindset of like, let me just talk to her, like she's one of my friends, I don't mean, you're gonna get friend zone, that's not really what I'm going, you're still gonna flirt, but I'm talking about the, the energy behind your conversation and the energy behind your presence, is that of, I'm comfortable, I'm chill, I'm cool, I'm talking to a friend.

36:52 So anyways, just wanted to add that into everything. Now closing. So after about 10 to 15 minutes, you know, it might be longer if you're at a bar, you're talking to a woman, there might be like 20 minutes, 30 minutes, the best way to get her number. It's really just this line that I've been using probably for the past decade. It's really simple. Don't overcomplicate it. This is all you'll ever need. It's basically just going to be this. You seem cool. We should hang out sometime. Let me grab your number or any kind of version of that is fine.

37:18 But that's the basic foundation of it. Like you're, you know, you seem cool. We should hang out. Let me grab your number. That's it. She's gonna get what it's all about. She understand what that's all about. You don't need to do these. You can look look up all these different PUA techniques. I'm like, Oh, like you grab her phone and you put the number in her phone and all. None of that matters. Don't trick. You know, she's either in it or she's not. And if she's in it, and you guys have had a fun, cool conversation for the past 15 minutes, she'll be excited.

37:31 She'll be great. Yeah, here's my number. And then if you find out that you got her number, and it was a fake one, or she never responds to you or whatever. That just means that she wasn't attracted. And she gave you a fake number or she gave you a real number, but she's not responding. Because she just felt that she was put on the spot. That's gonna happen. You're gonna go through that whatever, you know, sometimes that might happen. Most of the time, if you're getting a number, that won't happen.

37:50 And you can convert it into a day. But that's it. You know what, you seem cool. Let me grab your number. You can even if you want to make this like really chill, you can say, you know, it is awesome talking to you. I actually have to go back to my buddies over there. Or you can say like, Oh, you know what, I got to go finish grocery shopping, or I got to go, you know, grab some coffee, but you seem cool. Why don't I grab your number, we can continue this conversation or why don't I grab your number, we should we should hang out.

38:19 So any kind of version of that, just like directing her like, let me let me let me grab your number. Let me get your number. We should hang out sometime. And then that's it. Get her number. Get her number. Walk away. Text her within the day. Yep. Yep. So what's interesting to me is I say that exact same those exact same words, you seem cool. And I don't believe I learned that from any other PUA. It just kind of manifested out of my own experience, as I'm sure it did for you, too.

38:52 And it has a lot of subtle things in it that you know, we can go way down the rabbit hole with. But it's basically like, but it's basically like, you won with me, you seem cool. I'm not exactly sure. But you seem cool. Why don't you toss me your number and we'll catch up some other time. That's the perfect way to close a number. So to wrap up one final question, you suggest actually texting the same day? Is that what I heard you say? Within 24 hours.

39:30 So it depends. So let's say you get it at night. I would text the next afternoon. Let's say you get it in an afternoon approach. I would text her. Well, I'd probably text her the next afternoon. So to make it simple, whenever you get her number, just text her the next afternoon to meet up. If you wait too long, she's going to forget about you. Even though you had this, you know, fun conversation for 15 minutes. She has a lot of other things going on in her life.

39:48 So she's not going to necessarily be sitting there waiting for your text message. But within the day, the next afternoon is good enough for her to remember and then set up the date. Fantastic. I love I love I love this, man. We did a, you know, 20 minute breakdown of how to approach a woman and get her number. I thought you did an amazing job. I really appreciate the tips. So why don't you tell the guys where they can find you what you'd like them to do next?

40:21 Yeah, I mean, listen, if you enjoyed my very to the point practical advice and, and you, you like the episode, just go over to the how to talk to girls podcast. I have a lot of different resources. But you know, if you're listening to this on a podcast, you want to check more of my stuff out, come over to how to talk to girls. It's, it's on everywhere you're listening to this podcast. So, you know, Stitcher, iTunes, Spotify, all that good stuff, how to talk to girls.

40:21 And yeah, come over and check it out. And here's some more great advice. I only talk about dating sex and relationships. So it's very much on point with how to get better with women. And I'd be glad to have you over there. So yeah, how to talk to girls. Yeah. And you know, guys, real recognizes real, which means, you know, when you're decent at something, you can recognize somebody else who's good at it, too. And trip is the real deal. So I totally give him my stamp of approval.

41:03 Definitely go check out his podcast. He's got lots of great information and combined with the UMP, you know, I think you'll become pretty damn deadly with the women. So trip, I really appreciate you coming on. Fantastic advice. And I hope to have you on again in the future, brother. Thank you so much. Thanks, Mark. Really appreciate it. Awesome talking to you today. All right, buddy, take care. All right, guys. So that wraps up this interview with trip Kramer. I'm coming swinging with another one on Monday.

41:35 I got another good podcast coming up. So stay tuned for that. And in the meantime, I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.