ATTRACT MORE GIRLS: A Deep Dive into Hoop Theory & Requests

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP and today I got a very special one. We are going to do a deep dive into what's called hoop theory or I call them requests and this is a frame control tenant that I've talked about before on this podcast but I believe it warrants a deeper dive because many times when you teach somebody something not only is it effective for them to hear it multiple times but oftentimes there's miscommunications.

0:45 You guys don't clearly understand what I was explaining and you can often take it the wrong way and actually do techniques in the wrong way. So I really want to give some clarification on how requests work, how this hoop theory thing actually works in the female mind and I'm going to get really specific, really break it down for you today. So stay tuned because I got some awesome information to share. Before I jump into the content, I want to let you guys know that my free one-on-one breakthrough session is still available.

1:11 If you want to learn how to attract more women, if you want to get real good clarification on these somewhat complex concepts like hoop theory, requests and frame control, then you can sign up on my website coachmarksing.com. Click on the upper right where it says coaching, fill out the goddamn slap in the biscuit and I will send you my schedule and you and I will jump on a one-on-one phone call together where we will talk about your sticking points with women, the kind of belief systems that you're up against and also what it might take to get you into my three-month coaching program, which by the way, I'm getting a lot of awesome guys entering and a guy asked me the other day, he's like, can I just start whenever or is it like always have a start point?

1:54 Because I know it's three months, but does it always start like in month one and then go three months? You can start whenever. So that's the answer to that. You can start whenever is good for you, but I will say it's filling up quick. If you want to get on that call with me, especially that call is filling up quick. I do have some open spots left in April, although they are getting filled up quickly. So if you want to jump on the call with me and kind of bro out and talk about, you know, what it would realistically take to get you to your goals with women, we can definitely do that.

2:20 And by the way, one of the things I do in my three-month program is I'm in the lucky position where I have a lot of hot friends. And one of the things we do is we coach you on how to take pictures that are good for your profiles, your online dating profiles, but also all my girlfriends go through them for you and they tell you exactly which ones to use. And speaking of hot girls, I actually just hired a new assistant. Her name is Daisy. She's this really hot girl.

2:43 And I wanted to, you know, give you guys the opportunity to deal with the hot girl when you deal with me. So it's kind of like when you sign up with a breakthrough session with me, when you come into my coaching, you're kind of allowed into that inner circle where you get to deal with, you know, attractive women and see how they are and see how they behave because it's a completely different mindset than I hate to say, but quote unquote, regular women, right? Like really hot girls, they're just different.

3:11 And so I let you guys get exposed to that. And I want you guys to talk to girls like that. So, you know, that was one of the prerequisites. I know it sounds shallow, but she had to be cute. She had to be hot. She had to be really smart. And this girl is absolutely phenomenal. She's my brand new assistant named Daisy. So anytime you do with me, you probably will deal with her as well. And it's kind of a little treat I wanted to bring to you guys because we don't want you dealing with those sea donkeys, Nebraska cows, Ohio pigs, and New York rump roasts.

3:34 We want you to deal with hot girls when you come into the Mark Singh program. So that's what I want to give to you. So speaking of hot girls, we're going to talk about what hot girls do. And actually all girls do this, but particularly high quality ones. So when they do this to you, you need to be aware that they're doing this because they're testing you. And what is that? It's a request. It's called hoop theory. And what they do is they ask you for favors.

4:01 You guys who have been through the program, you're very aware of how this works, but those who haven't, this is usually the way you get friend zoned. Okay. So a woman's job in the beginning is to test your frame, right? She needs to test your balls to see if you're a man, to see if you're masculine, to see if you're actually going to stand up to her. And one of the ways she does that, including challenging you is to ask you for little favors. So the most common one is let's say you're talking to a girl at a bar and she'll just kind of innocently say, Hey, would you mind going over there and getting me a napkin from the bar?

4:34 And most guys, which is quite legitimate, right? They'd go do it. They'd be like, Oh yeah, sure. And they go do it. Now it isn't the end of the world. It isn't going to completely kill her attraction, but a series of these tests. And I want to enunciate tests because that's exactly what it is. She can go get her own napkin. The reason she's asking you, she wants to see if you're going to jump through her hoop. And that's why it's called hoop theory. Okay. Girls are going to test your boundaries.

5:02 It's their job to do that. She's going to put out a little hoop in front of you. Are you going to jump through it? Like a little doggy who's trained to jump through hoops, or are you going to make her do a favor for you first? So the concept of hoop theory, or as in my coach and I call it requests is when she asks you for something, that's a blatant test. Now this is where I'm going to get specific and I'm going to do it in a minute, but you have to make sure it's a test.

5:26 Okay. If it's just an innocent innocuous request, you can do it. But if it's a test and I'll tell you how to identify that the basic premise is this. She asks you for a favor, you make her do a favor for you first. Okay. So that's the foundational premise. Now in the past, that's basically what I taught, at least on this podcast. Of course, in my three month coaching, we go deep into it and I teach you really the nitty gritty splitting hairs. My guys become fucking experts on this.

5:53 And I'm going to share a little bit of that with you today. But in the past, I was just like, listen, she asked you for a favor, make her do a favor for you first. Now, as is the nature of communication, this has been grossly misunderstood and guys are making mistakes with this left and right. You know, I'll get emails and I'll be like, oh my hell, this dude totally misunderstood what I was saying. And then people get butthurt and they'll like send me hate mail.

6:18 Like, oh, how could you do that? I'm like, dude, you're not understanding. Like you're taking an infinitesimally small understanding of what I was talking about and you're like spazzing out for it. So here's where I'm going to explain it. Okay. So first of all, you need to identify whether or not it's a blatant test. How do you know? Bro, you just know, you can just tell by the way she's behaving. Like if she's all sweet and she's like, hey, can you, can you go over there and get me a napkin, please?

6:43 Thank you. And she gives you a little angelic smile. That's a test, man. She's going to see if she can use her little female charms on you to get her a napkin. Now, if somebody walks by her and elbows her in the face and she's got bloody nose, she's like, hey, can you get me a napkin? You're like, no, you got to do a favor for me first. Come on, bro. Like, let's use our logic. And that's all it is. You guys all have common sense.

7:07 And that's why it's called common. Cause you guys all have it. Sometimes I wonder though, with some of y'all, but most of you guys have it. It's like, okay, is she testing me? Is she trying to make me jump through a hoop so that I can become her lapdog? And furthermore, you guys, her attraction for you is based on whether or not you're going to stand up to her. Okay. So again, the basic premise, she asks you for a favor, you make her do a favor for you first, but you need to decipher.

7:34 Is it a blatant test or is she just asking for something? Is she just innocently asking? Like if you're sitting next to her on the couch and the remote is right next to you and you're at her place and she's like, hey, can you hand me the remote real quick? Of course, like here, yeah, go. You don't have to make her do a favor for you first. Okay. Makes sense. Pretty easy. All right. Now, second rule is it has to be fun for her. Okay. I've seen guys mess this up where a girl will be like, Hey, will you come?

8:01 I don't know. Help me move a couch. And then they'll be like, yeah, but you got to give me a blow job first. No, bro. That is the wrong thing to do. So it has to be fun for her. And it can't be like sexual or lascivious or slimy in nature. Obviously you would think this would be a common sense, but it isn't. I've literally heard somebody say that like, yeah, I'll do that for you. If you give me a blow job, bro, come on common sense.

8:23 Now here's the thing with women, even when you're disagreeing with them. And this is with frame control. And this is also with requests. You want to make it fun for them. And as I always say, if you don't know what I'm about to say right now, then you just smack yourself in the face. So hard you fly upward through a skylight. And from here forward, every time I hear your name, I shall spit on the ground. The rule is never under any circumstance, let negativity come into your exchanges with women.

8:48 You always have to be cool, calm, collected on your inner balance point. So when she asks you for a request, what you do is you make her do a favor for you first. And the favor should be fun for her. So typically what I do, as a lot of you guys have heard, is I'll make her ask me in an Australian accent. Very simple. For example, she says, hey, will you go get me a napkin from the bar? I'll be like, yeah, for sure. Ask me in an Australian accent.

9:16 And then she'll do it in an Australian accent. I'll be like, right away, ma'am. Like a boomerang, I'll be right back to you. Right? She laughs. She has fun. But then she understands my favor must be earned. I'm not going to be her lapdog. I'm not going to be her errand boy. My favor must be earned. That's the simple message that I'm giving to her. But again, it has to be fun for her. So when she throws a hoop at you, you have to immediately assess, listen, is this like a test?

9:44 Is this something that she would do to like a guy friend who she's friend zoned? Is she using me? Is she just trying to get me to do this? Does she really need this thing? Or does she just want to see if she can get me to do something? Now, if you can't tell, in my opinion, it's better to default on the rule of one for one. Yeah, I'll do it if you ask me in an Australian accent. Or what I'll do sometimes, it'll be like, yeah, I'll do it if you make a donkey noise first.

10:08 Or yeah, I'll do it if you spin like a ballerina. Yeah, I'll do it if you tell me a word from your language. Yeah, I'll do it if you teach me something about nursing, right? I've told you guys before, I always run into nurses at the typical bar scene that I go to. Or sometimes I'd be talking to foreigners. I'll be like, yeah, do it if you teach me a cool word from your language, right? It's like something fun for her that's going to make the conversation better and make her know that your favor must be earned.

10:32 That's the basic premise. All right, so going back, let's go over this. Okay. When she asks you for a favor, you make her do a favor for you first. It must be fun and it must be logical in the sense that she's actually testing you. Once again, if it's like a very valid request that she like legitimately leads your help. Like for example, I've had girls, you know, have emergencies, right? Where her window gets broken. Some stalker is fucking with her. Of course, I'm not going to be like, hey, you got to ask me an Australian accent before I come over.

11:06 No, you just understand this is a legit situation. So I'm going to go over and help her out. Now there's also legit questions. So I have the comeback as many of you have heard when she asked me, why don't you have a girlfriend? Okay, bro. This is like 50% of the time a test, 50% of the time a legit question and actually a question where she's attracted. She's like, I don't get it. Like, why don't you have a girlfriend? And you can tell in her tone. The thing about English and everybody listening obviously speaks English.

11:34 So I'm assuming you're either probably United States, Great Britain, Australia, Canada, English speaking countries. The cool thing about English is that there's a lot about tonality, facial expressions, body language, where there's certain meanings that are inferred. So we can tell pretty much, okay, she's legitimately asking me like, I don't get it. Why don't you have a girlfriend? In that context, you can just answer it and just be like, yeah, the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I haven't met the girl that I really jive with.

12:04 You know, I do go on dates sometimes, but I just haven't met anybody yet. And for me, I'm not going to settle. I don't just want a warm body of my bed. I want somebody who I can connect with somebody I really jive with. That's really important to me. That's why I don't have a girlfriend. Okay, so USS, is this a legit question? Now, there's something more on top of this. So let's say she asks you and you're not quite sure if it's a test. And let's just go ahead with the why don't you have a girlfriend question.

12:29 She asks you, why don't you have a girlfriend? And you're not quite sure, is this a test? Is it like she real? You can still like say the real question is, why don't you have a boyfriend, which as a lot of you know, is my reversal. And that comes from frame control. So a lot of the times what I'll do is I'll throw it back on her. Now that may seem like, well, why are you sidestepping the question? Okay, so here's what I do. She'll ask me, why don't you have a girlfriend?

12:54 I'm like, fuck, I don't know if there's a test or not. I'm just going to flip it. And I'll be like, well, the real question is, why don't you have a boyfriend? It's probably because you're a bad kisser, huh? Now in that context, freaking 99% of the time, especially because I have a strong frame and frame is communicated through tonality. As I've talked about a lot on this podcast as well, she's not going to sidestep me again. Usually she's going to answer it. She's going to say something akin to what I just said.

13:22 I'm very picky. Haven't met the right person, blah, blah, blah. Then you can answer her question, right? So if she jumps through your hoop, you can jump through her hoop. But if it's a blatant test, flipping it first shows her that you're not going to be her lapdog. You see how that works? So I'm not saying to sidestep every single question she asks. What I'm saying is either A, flip it back on her, make her answer it first, or B, make her do a little favor for you first, or I should say, jump through your hoop first before you jump through hers.

13:51 So if she's like, hey, can you get me a napkin from the bar? Avoiding it completely would be like, no, no, I'm not going to. See that? That's avoiding it. But you're still going to do it. You're still going to get her the napkin from the bar. You're still showing that you're chivalrous. You're still showing that you can do things for her, but your favor must be earned. So a lot of guys ask me like, bro, all you teach is about like sidestepping and being a politician and never addressing it.

14:16 No, it's not like that at all. The first time I'll sidestep it or I'll make her jump through a hoop or I'll flip it on her. But then I will answer it once I've shown her that in a way I'm not to be fucked with. I'm not going to just be your lapdog and do favors for you. And by the way, guys, this is why you dudes get put in the friend zone. Can you see that now? Women's job is to test you and they're going to do it.

14:41 They do it unconsciously. I'd speak to girls about this all the time. Why do you do it, Kelly? Why? I don't know. I just, I don't know. It just came out of my mouth. I've literally been sitting at a table with a girl talking to a new dude and I'm like, eavesdropping, right? Because I'm always curious. And there it is, dude. Hey, will you go get me this? And then she goes and I'm like, ah, he just fucked up. And I'm like, why'd you do that?

15:04 She's like, I don't know. It's like she snaps out of a hypnosis or something. She's like, I don't know. She wakes up and I'm like, here's why you did it, right? And unfortunately, homeboy went and did it before making you jump through a hoop first. And they're like the epiphanies that these women have when I explain this shit to them. Because they've been doing it their whole lives, especially hot girls. And when you explain to them why they do it, they're like, oh my God, that's why I friend zone all those dudes.

15:29 And then when you explain it to dudes, they're like, fuck, that's why I've always gotten put in the friend zone. It's because you think logically, if I do these girls these favors, if I answer their questions, if I sell myself to them, if I jump through their hoops, they're going to like me. Because it's very logical. That's the way humans are, right? You do good things for people. You jump through their hoops. You're a great person. You're going to get hired. You're going to go up through the corporate company ladder and you're going to achieve success.

15:53 If you're a great friend, do your friends favors, really be the greatest guy on the block. You're going to make lots of friends. Sure, that works in the corporate world. That works with friends, but it doesn't work with girls. Because girls don't want a lapdog. Why? It's just an anthropological thing where they want to know you can protect them. How are you going to protect them if they can boss you around? If they're wearing the pants. You know those relationships where girls are wearing the pants?

16:23 I can guarantee you 99% of the time, the dude is not getting laid. Yeah, he may be in a relationship with her. He may seem like he's happy. He may pretend. He's not getting sex. How do I know this is true? Because I work with these dudes all the time. The problem starts right in the beginning. The dynamic of a relationship is set in the first two weeks. First two weeks, she's going to hammer you with requests, frame checks, testing the size of your balls. If you fail these tests, I mean, you can fail maybe one or two just by accident.

16:54 I'm sure I did occasionally here and there. But if you fail them consistently, you're going into the friend zone. And even if she does hook up for you for some weird reason, who knows the psychology of some women why they do certain things. But if she does hook up with you, bro, you're not going to be getting sex. You're not. You have to show her, again, your favor must be earned. So let's go over this again because I really want you guys to understand this. She's going to ask you for favors, okay?

17:21 First of all, do the favor if it's legit, right? She has a bloody nose. She's like, oh my God, I can't see out of my right eye. Can you please go get me a napkin? You're not going to be like, yeah, you got to make a donkey noise first, you fucking jackass. No. You'd be like, yeah, hold on. Let me go get that for you, right? Take care of her. But if it's a blatant test, and a lot of times, this is how I tell it's a test, is they get real cutesy with it or they have like that challenging kind of look in their eye or like bite their lip, kind of lean in.

17:46 Like it just seems like they're trying to fuck with you. Or again, they try to get real cute and use their little daddy voice. Please, daddy, can I please have an ice cream cone, daddy, please? Right? That whole bullshit. Worked on your dad, ain't going to work with me. So you say, yeah, I'll get you one for sure. But after that, you got to take me through Taco Bell. We're getting a double bean burrito. And if I were you, I'd get out the car afterwards because I'm going to be farting like a world champion.

18:14 By the way, guys, that goes back to my self-deprecating humor. Check that out if you haven't. Okay. So we've established, is it a test? Yes. Make her jump through her first. After she's jumped through the hoop, if she still wants to know, then you can answer the question legit. Or after she's jumped through the hoop, you can do the favor for her. Like bro, even helping a girl move, I've done that before. And I still got to have sex with them. The thing is though, is I set the precedence.

18:41 She's like, hey, will you help me move? I'm like, damn, that's quite a request. You know, we've only known each other for a couple of weeks. You're going to have to take me out to two dinners. And by the way, they have to be nice steak dinners. I want like tier one restaurants and I'm getting the freaking Omaha steak, bro. The freaking $95 one deal. And if she says no, you'd be like, all right, good luck. I would go on Craigslist. They have lots of great movers on there.

19:07 That's to show like, look, I'm not going to just show up and move for you because you're hot because you got a banging ass and perfect tits. My favorite must be earned. And what does that show her? That shows her that your favorite must be earned. Okay. So you make her jump through a hoop. Then if she still wants to know, you don't have to avoid the question the whole time. You can answer it, but the precedence has been set that your favor must be earned.

19:33 Make sense? So that was a deeper dive into what's called hoop theory in the community. I myself and my own coaching call it requests. This is going to happen to you guys. Be prepared for it. This, in addition to frame control, and frankly, this is a part of frame control, is probably the most important thing when it comes to attracting women. If you don't show her that your favor must be earned, if you don't show her that you're not to be fucked with, if you show her that you get emotional and do things to try to earn her favor, try to prove to her that she wants to have sex with you, she's not going to have sex with you.

20:07 That's the ironic thing. The thing about attraction is very counterintuitive in a lot of ways, but just keep that in your mind. If I was a dude who wasn't to be fucked with, how would I behave now? Would I go get her car out of the parking lot? I've had chicks ask me this shit. Well, you can get my car. I'm drunk. Can you drive me home? Because I don't drink, right? Always. I'm like, yeah, I'll take you home. We're going through Burger King. I'm freaking starving.

20:32 And also, we're going to go next week and you're taking me out to a steak dinner. Deal? And they'll be like, yeah, deal. And then I'll go have sex with them because I simply show them I'm not to be fucked with. Make sense? All right, guys, from here forward, this is what you're going to deploy. You're going to be an alpha silverback champion. I don't want you to take it too far. Remember, never a dick, but at the same time, never to be fucked with. It's that balance.

20:51 It's like, I'm going to do a podcast about chivalry in the weeks ahead. And you'd be like, what? Chivalry? Really? Yeah. Because a part of you has to be like cool as hell, caring, nurturing, chivalrous. And the other part of you is like an unapologetic, not to be fucked with alpha silverback. When you have that balance, this is what makes girls fall in love with you. And I guarantee you, every single girl out there wants a guy like that. But too bad for women. It's either they're assholes who are super sexy because they control the frame.

21:23 They're not to be fucked with, but they don't have a good heart or they're too damn nice, which is the problem with most of you guys, is you think that by earning her favor, by doing her good things and kissing her ass, you're going to get her into bed. The nice guy syndrome, that doesn't work either. You get a balance of it. You know when to deploy what at the right time. And this is specifically what my three-month coaching program is based on. My guys get so much results, dude.

21:51 It's insane. Every day, bro, I log in email after email from my clients like, holy shit, I'm fucking crushing it. Dudes who have never kissed a girl come into my program. Dudes who are virgins come into my program and they're fucking crushing it within a couple months. So if you want to jump on a one-on-one free breakthrough session, I will tell you, honestly, I'll be like, yo, this is how long I think it's going to take you. If you did the course with me, if I was to teach you everything I have to teach you, reprogram your brain with my NLP, make you think like I think like a natural, teach you all these deep psychological female psychology truths, I can guarantee you, man, you'll probably quadruple, 5X, a lot of my guys 10X the results with women because it's like the matrix.

22:31 Like they get plugged in and their eyes open. They're like, oh my God, that makes sense. And it's not just frame control. It's not just hoop theory. There's a lot to teach you guys. Attracting women is very counterintuitive. It's very complex. It's very multi-layered. That's why it does take three months. You know what I'm saying? Like I can't dump all my knowledge into your head in just a couple of sessions. It's going to take a while, but those three months, I teach you everything I know.

22:55 And my guys absolutely become assassins with women. So if you're sick and tired of getting those same results, man, get a free call with me. What would it be like to jump on the phone, me and you? And I'm like looking at you on Zoom and I'm like, okay, man, this is what it's going to take. This is your issues. This is what you need to learn. This is the mistakes you've been making. And here's the remedy to get you to your goal in the quickest, easiest way possible.

23:21 Going to take some work, but at the same time, the damn thing is a black hole shortcut to get to your goals with women. All right, gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. If you find value in my podcast, I would very much appreciate a review. Email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com and I'll send you a bunch of cool shit, but I'd also love to meet you. It absolutely amazes me that every single one of you guys doesn't sign up for that free one-on-one breakthrough session.

23:47 I'm getting a ton of you through the door. I'm meeting tons of you guys every day. You guys are always cool as hell too, man. I just like jive with you guys. And that's the way I think it works. You know, you wouldn't be listening this far, definitely, unless you felt some kind of connection with me and it's back to you, bro. I know I'd like you if you like my content. And it's always like that. Second, I get on the call with the guys. It's like, Hey, this is my best friend in fricking Minnesota.

24:10 I've never met him before. We jive. And then oftentimes, you know, they move forward and I'm not pushy. Like I don't push guys into moving forward. It has to feel right for the both of us. It has to economically make sense for you. And you know, I'm not going to try to get you into a trap where you're like putting it out on your credit card and you got to pay it over 10 years. Like that's not my style. I make sure you can comfortably do it, but I don't want your trepidations about letting me down to prevent you from signing up.

24:35 So sign up, man. I'm just a dude. You're just a dude. Let's talk. And we could do that. If you go to coachmarksing.com, click on the upper right hand corner coaching, fill out the goddamn slap in the biscuit and you and I will get on that free breakthrough session. All right, boys, I do appreciate you listening. I drop podcasts on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. So please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.