Attraction 101: How Attraction Works And How to Leverage it to Your Unfair Advantage

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. We are going to skip all the blatant advertising, although I just got two new testimonials, screenshots on my desktop. But I'm going to skip it today. I was listening to previous episodes. I was like, man, I've been reading a lot of testimonials about my program.

0:36 So we're skipping it, and we're jumping right into the content. So Attraction 101, what women are attracted to, also what men are attracted to. I'm going to explain why you're attracted to certain qualities and certain physical attributes in women and how we can leverage that to our unfair advantage. Man, that was a good title. Sometimes titles come to me and I just record podcasses based on the title alone. I'm like, damn, I have to do a podcast on that shit because that was a good title. So you may be wondering what it is that women are attracted to.

1:07 And it's actually a really interesting psychological and anthropological phenomenon which bases our attraction. Why we get attracted to certain people is because of survivability. It's because of how likely it is a woman can have a healthy child and how likely it is that you as the man can pass genes on to a child that's going to give that child the best chance of success, give that child the best chance of survivability. So first and foremost, I want to talk about why you're attracted to hot girls, okay?

1:41 And a lot of women get really upset about this and I can actually see why that is because it kind of sucks, right? Like they're born a certain way. Everybody knows that a woman's physical appearance is ridiculously important to men and some women get bitter about that. And I frankly understand it. There are, of course, a lot of things they can do to make themselves more attractive, one of which is working out, another of which is wearing makeup, getting their hair done, trying to wear good clothing, another of which is acting feminine because femininity is extremely attractive to us men.

2:12 And I'll explain why that is in a minute. But other than that, there's not too much women can do. It's kind of like if a woman is born as a five, it's really hard for her to become a seven or an eight. She can get up to a six maybe, but it's kind of fucked up. And I can see why girls are upset about that, but it is what it is and it's based on anthropology. It's based on survivability. It's based on her ability to have a healthy child.

2:37 And I always find that really interesting because your sexual attraction to a woman is wholly based on her ability to have a kid, not her ability to bob your knob, to bounce on your boner, or to make your friends go, wow, when they see her. Nope, it's all about the kid. So the reason it's about the kid is, of course, survivability. We are here to procreate, to extend the species, to continue this lineage and be successful. That's why we're here, right? We're here to live just like all animals are.

3:09 And all animals want to create the healthiest offspring they possibly can, which is why in like an elk herd or a gorilla society or anything else, the strongest one always gets to mate, which is called the alpha male, for example, or the alpha female. The healthiest looking female gets to mate, and all the other ones have to take a sidetrack and don't get to mate nearly as much. So when it comes to women, her beauty is all simply health signs, health signs. Okay, so this is why, unfortunately, obesity is unattractive because it's a sign of poor health.

3:44 Bad skin is unattractive. Thinning hair is unattractive. Bad teeth is unattractive. Anything that points to this woman being unhealthy is unattractive. What is attractive, of course, is healthy skin, beautiful teeth, crystal clear eyes, nice hair, balanced breast-to-hip ratio, signs of fitness, signs of a good immune system, and signs of strong femininity. Because that's telegraphing to you her ability to have a child. Have you guys ever looked at a girl, particularly women who are in their early to mid-20s, I see this the most with, they have that kind of glow about them.

4:21 It's almost the same glow that some pregnant women get, which is basically more blood flowing into the skin. Her face is radiant, and you can even see a little bit of redness in her cheeks. This is all signs that she's able to have a healthy baby, and she's primed and ready to go now. It's the equivalent of like a white-tailed deer smelling the rear end of another white-tailed deer to try to see if she's primed and she's in estrus so she can have sex. It's the same thing when we simply look at a woman.

4:51 And this is all visual. This is why, as men, we're very visual. We look at a girl, we can tell how able she is to have a healthy baby, and that's what our attraction is based on. So you get like a super fine girl. It's all health signs. Like, think about it. She's just healthy. She looks fit. She looks strong. She looks like she has a good immune system. That she could indeed have a healthy baby, take care of it, and that baby has the biggest chance of survival.

5:16 I find this shit so unbelievably interesting. And when you know why you're attracted to a woman, it doesn't have so much control over you anymore. You realize that, listen, this is all instilled in me as a means to procreate, as a means to carry on the species. So why am I so ruled by it? Once you have perspective on why you do a certain thing, it doesn't have power over you anymore. And then you can go speak to that woman and screen for different things because you know why you're physically attracted to her.

5:46 But what I always tell my guys is don't just go for a chick and want her phone number and try to get that girl simply because she's hot. I've literally had dudes say to me, hey, man, I want to go get that girl's number. And I'm like, why? You don't know her. You don't know what accomplishments she's had. You don't know how funny she is. So go talk to her. So once you understand why you're attracted to a girl physically, you can overcome it and then start screening for other things, which, too, are important.

6:11 I'm not saying they're not important, that a woman's looks are the only thing that matters. Certainly not. I've been with super hot girls who were horrible people, absolutely horrible people, and I blew them out because of that. But it is the most important thing, just like our survivability to a woman, which I'm going to explain in a minute, is the most important thing to women, which is why the way you look, how much money you make, and all that other bullshit that you've convinced yourself is super important is not.

6:38 And this is why I have clients who literally live in their mom's basement who are getting fucking solid tents. It's because they communicate survivability, which, again, I'm going to get into in a second. But the first thing you need to realize is that a woman's looks are super important. And for any women listening, don't be butthurt about it. You can ameliorate your looks as much as possible. And also femininity is really important. Femininity is important because it's the opposite energy polarity of masculinity, which is what guys are.

7:07 So a woman who is unattractive, if she can be super feminine, and I don't need to explain what femininity is. It's a certain way they talk, a certain way they move, a certain elegance that women have about them that we as men find extremely attractive. If they can ramp up their femininity, they will naturally become more attractive to men because that, too, is a sign of having a healthy baby. The more estrogen she has, and estrogen equals femininity, the more likelihood she's going to have of having a healthy baby who's going to survive through the nine months of development and who's going to survive the birth and then be able to be taken care of by the woman and become a healthy adult.

7:47 This, too, is why women will instinctually try to do you favors and try to prove to you that they can care for you, but more importantly, care for a baby if and when you guys were to bond and procreate. Okay? So a lot of times when women are attracted, they'll try to show you that they can be helpful to other people. So you're out with a woman and she's super attracted to you and there's, like, an old person trying to cross the street or, like, carrying boxes.

8:12 That woman will go over and be like, hey, can I help you to prove to you that she can care for essentially a baby. Isn't this weird? Like, when you think about it, we're a lot like animals, which, of course, we are, who do this kind of stuff without even realizing it. Like, you look at a gorilla tribe and the female acts in certain ways in front of the alpha silverback male in order to get his genes because she wants a baby who has high survivability just like he does.

8:38 If she has a baby who has high survivability, what's going to happen? That baby's probably going to survive, carry on the gene pool, carry on the lineage, which unconsciously is attractive to her. So she gets wet, wants to take his seed, and this is why all the females in the gorilla tribe, for example, will mate with just a couple of the males. It's the same thing with human beings. 80% of women mate with 20% of guys. And I want to ask you, are you of that 20% or are you the 80% of dudes who don't get chicks?

9:10 It's very easy to become part of that 20% because unlike women, we do not have to be stuck with what we're born with. You may have convinced yourself that you're too short, you're unattractive, you don't have a good body, or whatever other excuses you're making. I'm telling you, brother, you can make those better to become extremely attractive to women because women's attraction for you is purely based off who you are, your demeanor, your confidence, your internal belief systems, and your ability to survive in a society. So in a way, even if you are short and you're still confident and you still believe in yourself, that's actually more attractive.

9:49 Why? Because it's like the birds of paradise. And I want you to really pay attention to this example. It's such a good example. The reason why the birds of paradise who have the biggest feathers and also peacocks who have the biggest feathers are most attractive to females is because they're proving they can survive despite having a cumbersome tail or a bunch of colors that will attract predators. Hey, listen, I'm bright as fuck. I got green. I got yellow. I got blue all over me. Yet I still survive even though all these predators can see me.

10:18 Isn't that attractive? And the chick says, yeah, that's super attractive because you're a survivor. It's the same thing with the dude who's five foot two, but super attractive as many of my clients are. A lot of my clients come in. They're like, dude, I'm super short. I just feel ugly. I just feel unattractive. I know girls don't like short dudes and it doesn't matter. And I prove it to them through NLP that, dude, you can still be a champion even though you're five two and it's actually going to work to your advantage.

10:43 Because just like the birds of paradise, you shouldn't, quote unquote, have this level of confidence and survivability being five foot two. But you do, which makes you extra attractive. Here's something I really want you to think about. A dude who's six foot two, who has X level of confidence, X level of bearing, X level of charisma. Standing next to a dude who's five foot two, who has the exact same level of confidence, charisma, and bearing, the girl would be more attracted to the dude who's five two.

11:13 Don't believe it? Want proof? Hop on my website and look at all the testimonials. At least 50% of those guys have something that is unattractive about them. And when I say unattractive, I put it in air quotes. Things that should be and should, again, is in air quotes. You're shitting all over yourself. Things that should be unattractive, such as being short, being bald, being fat, whatever. If you can fully believe in yourself, have confidence, bearing, and survivability, women will become attracted to you. Now, why is that?

11:43 Why are women attracted to that? Because they want to see you pass on your genes to their children, who too will have high survivability. Now, what is survivability for a man? The number one most important thing is confidence. And that's reflected in your body language. It's reflected in your tonality. It's reflected in how you hold yourself, which is why I love NLP. Because as I stated, a woman is born kind of how she is. She can make it a little bit better with exercise, makeup, doing her hair, dressing cute, right?

12:13 She can do that. And sometimes we're jealous of women because they can do that. A man is born the way he is too, but he can make it way better by simply fixing the shit in his head. So for women, it's more like an outside body thing. For men, it's all in the head. Your attractiveness to women is all in your head. And that's why I love NLP, because NLP specifically goes to work on belief systems, on metaprograms, on traumas, archetypes, and schemas that make you feel like a 10.

12:41 Once you feel like a 10, you behave as a 10. And even if you're five foot two, it's going to work even better for you. So men's survivability is based, again, on confidence, decisiveness, their willingness to take risks, their willingness to be a leader, their ambition, which is massively important. Because if you're ambitious, you want to achieve more, you want to grow into the next best version of yourself, that's survivability. Those kinds of guys are going to make money. And I don't want you to think that I'm saying money is important.

13:09 It's not. It's the traits that lead to money, which are important. Money is a sign of having those traits, but they're not mutually exclusive. And what I mean is you don't have to have money to prove to a woman that you have those traits. But when you do have those traits, you will probably get money. So it's simply a pointer that this guy might have attractive traits. But we all have seen it. Dudes who have money who don't have attractive traits because, say, they got that inheritance from their parents still don't get chicks.

13:38 I've had many multimillionaire clients come into the program who were virgins because it almost works against them. They have the money, but they don't have the traits. So it's almost the opposite of the dude who has the confidence who's five foot two. Because she's thinking he has this money and he isn't confident. He isn't decisive. He isn't ambitious. Wow. He is an extra piece of shit. He's an extra trust fund baby. Don't like that guy. So I don't want you to think that money is important, but what's important are those things that usually lead to money.

14:06 And they do, boys. When you become confident, decisive, ambitious, unapologetic, feeling worthy, feeling like you're the hot chick, money comes to you. Women comes to you. Everything comes to you. Because it's true. You have high survivability. And a woman's attraction is fully based on your ability to survive, your ability to thrive, your ability to become the leader of men. Think about this. Why is it that women always get attracted to the captain of the football team, the professor who lectures in front of hundreds of people, the guy who leads a squadron of troops, or a leader of the social circle who goes out to the nightclubs?

14:45 The reason why they get attracted to that is because when you're a leader, you're probably going to have resources, right? Think about tribal communities. The leader of the tribe was the one who had the highest chance of survivability, had access to resources, could, yes, take care of her and take care of her offspring. But what's more important are the genes that he's going to pass on. Okay, so a lot of you guys may be misinterpreting thinking, well, she wants a provider. She wants a dude who can give her things and give her resources.

15:14 That's true to some extent, but it's way more important. I'm talking 80% versus 20%, 80% more important that you pass on those genes. So I could have a lot of resources, going back to my rich guy with low confidence example, and that may surfacely make her somewhat attracted, but we all know what happens. She loses respect for him and oftentimes she'll go cheat with a guy who, yes, lives in his mom's basement, who is super confident, sure of himself, has a strong frame, is the leader of men, super ambitious.

15:44 She's just a fucking legend, which I'm trying to help you guys become. She'll go sleep with that dude and then have that dude's baby and make the other dude take care of it. This happens and we can't blame women, just like women can't blame us for being attracted to them because of their looks. It's all based on survivability, anthropology, and 200,000 years of evolution, which has proven time and time again what makes our species survive. This too, boys, is the reason women become attracted to you when you can lead her to where she wants to be led.

16:16 Okay, so we look at a leader, a guy who is the leader of men and the leader of women. When you're on the first date, if you try to give her the leadership position, deferring to her as it were and letting her make all the decisions, that's extremely unattractive because it telegraphs your inability to be a leader. And if you're not able to lead, then you're a follower. And what is a follower? He's the beta cuck in the gorilla tribe who almost gets no sex. By the way, super interesting fact here.

16:44 Some of you guys who suffer from erectile dysfunction or more specifically premature ejaculation could point to the fact that you feel like you're beta. So check this out. In a gorilla tribe, you have the alpha male. Well, he'll get most of the sex, but occasionally some of the females will want to procreate with the beta males for whatever reason. The beta male will try to come very quickly because he doesn't want to get caught by the alpha male. And this is often the reason for premature ejaculation, especially if you're with a chick who you think has a higher value than you, i.e.

17:08 she's hotter than you are. You think she's a nine and you think you're a seven, say for example. You will come extremely quickly because you don't want to be caught by the alpha male, which is one possible reason. It's also called second wolf phenomenon in the NLP community. But it could also be because you have bad belief systems about sex and you want to get it over with as quickly as possible because you think it's dirty. You think it's wrong. You think it's shameful. You think it's a sin.

17:43 So those are some partial reasons for premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. If I don't get it up, then I don't have to do something I ultimately don't want to do or show her that I'm beta, right? She thinks I'm alpha, but I'm really beta in my subconscious mind. So I'm not going to even get it up. So I save myself from embarrassment. Super interesting human psychology. And this is why it fascinates me. This is why I'll always be in this niche because I'm always just looking at people, thinking about why they behave the way they do, thinking about why we're attracted to certain girls and why certain girls are attracted to us.

18:17 It's fucking fascinating. I used to be a bouncer. I was a bouncer for five years in a nightclub. And literally, I had a shirt that said staff on it. And I wore a white Stetson cowboy hat. I got every single fucking chick that came into that nightclub. Girls used to call me the white whale, the unattainable Moby Dick who all the girls wanted, but none of them could get. And I was like, I like that Moby Dick, brother, slinging a dick that goes down to my kneecaps.

18:43 That's what the fuck I'm talking about. I used to walk through that thing and just be amazed that because I was given a shirt that says staff on it, which look at the situation, gave me value, gave me leadership, gave me a position. And of course, I had confidence. Of course, I could spit game. I knew what the fuck I was doing. But because I had that position, girls would just throw themselves at me. It was ridiculous, the shit that would happen. I could tell you guys stories for hours about the shit that chicks would say, the shit that chicks would do, the offers that I got.

19:12 Oh my God. It was insane, man. Why? Because I was in an alpha position. I was the leader of all the other bouncers. I was the leader of the nightclub. I was the fucking white whale. So if you can put yourself in a position where you're the white whale, where you're the professor, where you're the leader, where you're the scuba instructor, the rock climbing instructor, the hockey coach, whatever it is. If you can put yourself in that situation, it telegraphs high survivability. Because you're being the leader of men, you're leading people and taking care of them, which is always a fundamental principle of being alpha.

19:46 And therefore, women get attracted to that because they want those genes for their children. And this is why women cheat with alpha males. This is why women will go from one dude to the next because she discovers in you beta male qualities. And this is too why women will test your frame. Frame control. The thing I love to speak about the most is all based on her checking to see whether or not you're an alpha male to check your survivability. So she's going to say something mean to you.

20:12 If you get butt hurt or worse, try to explain yourself to her. She's going to blow you out because it shows low survivability. An alpha male, a guy who has high survivability, on the other hand, is not affected by her frame, doesn't buy into it because he's ensconced in his frame. He understands that his viewpoint of reality is the most important thing for him. He feels it's the absolute best thing for him and other people's tests can't affect him. So a woman says to you, oh, my God, why would you wear those pants?

20:43 Instead of being like, oh, these pants are super fashionable. I think they fit great. You know, I got them half off at Gucci. That's why I bought them. Instead of explaining yourself to her or even getting butt hurt and being like, dude, leave me alone. Like, why are you always insulting me? Horrible. Horrible. You're going to get blown out so hard. Your fucking mustache is going to fly off when the concussion hits. Instead of doing that, you reframe it on her. Why are you staring at my crotch, Jessica?

21:07 Why are you trying to take off my pants? We just met. Relax. That shows high survivability. Hence, it's attractive. Hence, she's going to want to have sex with you. So, boys, I hope this opens your eyes a little bit that, listen, the way you look, how much money you make, whatever thing you're using as an excuse to justify you not being good with women, it's all in your fucking head, and that's the reason you're not good with women. It's because you think that way. So, whatever, quote, unquote, unattractive thing you have about you, as I always say, accept it as if you chose it.

21:40 When you accept it, women will accept it too, and they will become attracted to you because of it. Radical self-acceptance is the way to prove survivability to a woman and to get her ridiculously attracted to you. And for you women listening out there, you know, you can do a lot with your looks. You really can. I mean, makeup is, like, incredible. Have you guys ever seen those, like, makeup tutorials on Instagram where you get just some unattractive, just horrible-looking woman, and then she puts all this makeup on, and she's just, like, ridiculously gorgeous?

22:11 We, as men, are sometimes jealous of that, but, guys, I have to be honest, man, I think we have the unfair advantage because we can simply work on our belief systems, we can work on ourselves, and just get to that next best level of ourselves, and then we get more attractive to women. So, if you're part of that 80% that doesn't get chicks, I'm guaranteeing you, you can become part of the 20% that does get women. And when you become part of that 20%, it's like a flood. There's too many.

22:37 You can't even handle it, which, of course, always happens to all my guys in the coaching program. It's simple, man, and that's why my shit works. It's because I go inside their heads, reprogram, flip all the right switches to make them feel like an alpha, then they start exhibiting that behavior. I, of course, teach them all my techniques and what to do in if-then situations, then they fucking crush it. It's very simple. One plus two equals three, and I just fucking hit repeat for every single one of my clients, and they become goddamn girl magnets.

23:05 So, with that said, boys, if you want to come join my program, if you want to be that one plus two equals three kind of guy who just becomes part of that 20% that most dudes will never become, sign up on my website. Click the link in the description below. Quickly put in your application. I will write you back, and you and I are going to get on a one-on-one call together to discuss how easy it will be to get you those same results as well. And read my testimonials, man.

23:28 You know, I read them all the time on this podcast, but there's over 100 of them on my website, and they are all absolutely legit from real clients who got real results. So, gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. Hope this helped you a little bit. And again, man, you know, your attraction for women, it's just based on their ability to have a healthy baby. So, like, don't be so affected by it. Don't be like a deer in the headlights the next time you see a chick. Don't, like, buy into it.

23:52 Who cares? So what? She's hot. What else does she have? That's the way I want you guys thinking. I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays, so please make sure to stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you next time.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.