Chivalry for Attracting Girls (You Need to Listen to This One - Trust Me, Brotendo)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. For those of you who have been writing with me for a long time, smack yourself on the ass so hard when the concussion hits, it sends a sonic boom that's so powerful it blows the mustache off your best friend's face. And for those of you who are new here, welcome.

0:35 What I try to do is give the best information in the most succinct way possible. And today we are going to talk about how to be chivalrous with women, how to be a gentleman, and how to take her on a journey that will not only make her super attracted to you, but also prove to both herself as well as to her friends and family that you're a good dude who she should stay with. And this is really, really important in so many times, guys error on either too much chivalry, too much being a nice guy, which is the case for most of you, by the way, or not enough of it and being too much of an asshole.

1:15 But here's the thing about women, and here's the thing about life, is it's all about balance. You have to have the right amount of chivalry mixed with not to be fucked with, the right amount of strong frame with letting her have the frame, the right amount of being an asshole, or I should say cocky, with being a really nice guy. And again, most of you guys error on the side of too much supplication, too much being the nice guy. So what we're going to do is we're going to get your balance perfect in today's podcast.

1:47 Before I do jump into that content, I want to let you guys know that my free one-on-one breakthrough session is still available. If you want to jump on a call with me and talk about your issues with women, talk about how we can get you to success with women in the quickest, easiest way possible. How we can get you through the door of that black hole shortcut in three months to get you the results that you're looking for. Go over to my website, CoachMarksing.com. Click on Coaching.

2:15 Read about what I do. Check out all the awesome testimonials that I have listed right there on my website and sign up with me and you and I will get on that call. All right. With that out of the way, let's get right into the content. So to begin this episode, I want to reiterate what I've mentioned before in previous podcasts as well as in my coaching is the 80-100 rule. So what is the 80-100 rule? Well, basically, it's a fancy way to say 80% of her 100%, okay?

2:44 80-100. So what does this mean? It means that you want to give her about 80% of what she's giving you as far as compliments, as far as attention, and most importantly, how often she wants to see you. So just keep this 80 number in your head. You want to give her 80% of what she wants. So for example, if she wants to hang out five times a week, 80% of that would be four times a week. Okay? Very basic principle that's going to apply to today's podcast. Now, this 80% rule also applies to how much of being cocky funny, how much of being entertaining, how much of busting her chops, how much of using that certain kind of attraction-building material you should put into your interactions with her.

3:33 That's why I kind of want you to get 80% in your mind. Not only are you giving her 80% of the attention and pull that she's giving you, meaning she's trying to pull you X much into her, you want to give her 80% you pulling her into you. Now, keeping that 80% number, you're also giving her 80% of just messing around, being cocky funny, and then 20% seriousness on the first date. Okay, so the first interaction, the first date, you're 80% attraction-building material, 20% real, and in that 20%, you guessed it, that's where we show some chivalry.

4:15 You guys, I literally tried to record that part five different times. Oh my God, that's where we show some chivalry. That was so hard to say. I tried to say that. I literally had to redo it five different times. Okay, so that's where we show the chivalry, and we do that just 20%, okay? So 80% of it, you're controlling the frame, you're busting your chops, you're making her qualify herself to you, you're telling stories, you're being funny, you're doing push-pull, you're doing cold reading, all the stuff that I teach.

4:43 And then 20% of it, you're being real, and part of being real is being chivalrous. So what is chivalry? Okay, first of all, let's define it. Chivalry is opening the door for her, giving her your jacket when she's cold, maybe moving her away from a crowded area where she's getting bumped by people. When you guys are crossing the street, you make it so that if a car were to hit you guys, it would hit you first, so you walk on the side of her where she may get hit by a car.

5:13 You do these things that are gentlemanly. Of course, you don't have to stand up when she goes to the bathroom, when you guys are in a restaurant together. You don't necessarily have to not eat until she eats. You don't have to do this 17th century English chivalrous kind of stuff. But at the same time, if you're walking to your car, and this is a perfect example, and her door happens to be in your path, open it for her. If you guys are walking to the car and her door is not in your path, you don't necessarily have to open it for her.

5:43 Another example of when it came to the car and this just popped in my head is we were driving once. I was with some random chick, and she's like, God, I really wish I wore my different shoes. And we just left her house. So without even asking her, I flipped a bitch and drove back. She's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, we're going back to get you some new shoes. And she's like, oh, my God, that's so thoughtful. Thank you. So that was the right time to be chivalrous and also control the frame, which is to lead her to where she wants to be led.

6:10 Okay, so I'm going to test you. What percentage of your attraction building material should be chivalry? That's right, about 20% in the beginning. Now, it grows each date. So at first, it's about 20%. Then it's about 30% on the second date. The fourth date, it's about 40%. And then by the time you're in a relationship with a woman, you want to be about 50-50. Not necessarily 50% busting your chops and then 50% chivalry. But what I mean is 50% busting your chops, 50% being real, and chivalry is a part of that. Okay, so it's like not all the time you're doing this, but little moments, and this is really, really critical, is when you're first speaking to a woman, she's assessing not only is she attracted to you, but she's asking herself, especially if she's attracted to you, she's asking herself, could I introduce this guy to my parents?

7:05 Could I be seen with this guy in public? Could I introduce this guy to my friends? Would I be proud to be with a guy like this? So when you do little things that show chivalry, it shows her that, okay, he understands how to treat a woman. He's probably a good guy. He's probably close to his mom. He has a good job. He's going to be a good father to my children. Literally, chicks are thinking about this, like on the first and second date, especially if you guys are clicking it off.

7:33 And I've been in situations so many times where girls will like bring this up, socially unintelligently, by the way, as far as like a girl's game is concerned. She'll bring this up and be like, God, you would be such a good father to our children. I'm like, whoa, slow down there, Casanova. Like, you know, get off the gas a little bit. We just met. And I will say that, by the way. But at the same time, that clues me in that the chivalry that I've done is affecting her long-term attraction for me.

8:02 Because, look, a lot of guys have too much of either or. Either they're too much of a badass, and this is why assholes get girls. They control the frame. They're unattainable. They're super mysterious. They are super attractive. And that's the kind of guy that's like a fuckboy. He gets lots of sex, but he can't keep a girl. Or, which is the case for most of you guys, you're too nice. You're too chivalrous. You do too many favors. You jump through her hoops, and you're not bad boy enough.

8:28 So, like, she thinks you're really sweet. And, oh, my God, it would be great to be with you, but I'm just not attracted to you. I'm sorry. I'm just not attracted to you because you're not getting that right mixture. And the way to make a girl fall deeply in love with you is to have that right mixture. And that's the thing I always say is, in this podcast, I always balance it. And that's why I'm doing this thing about chivalry, because last week, I did one about no response, not to be fucked with.

8:53 And that's a part of it, too. So, you have to have that balance. It's an ebb and flow. It's like the Tao, right? It's a mixture of both feminine and masculine. Now, the right mixture, once again, is about 80% of that messing around, especially on the first conversation and first date. And then 20% being real, being chivalrous. Okay? So, it makes sense. So, I really want you guys to get this deep into your brain skull because this is so powerful. Okay? So, in the first conversation, just think to yourself, how can I throw in some being real?

9:27 And part of being real, again, is being chivalrous. But also, as a slight side note, part of being real is also being vulnerable. Now, this begs the question, and I'm going to do a podcast about this in the future. Isn't being vulnerable showing her that you're weak because you're showing her that you have fallibilities? You're showing her that you failed in the past, or you were scared, or you were emotional? Well, if you show her that your vulnerability took you down and you didn't overcome it, yes, that shows weakness.

9:57 But when it comes to vulnerability, if you show her that you overcame it, and you show her that you were vulnerable in that moment, but you were able to persevere past it, that's extremely, ridiculously attractive. So, one thing I talk about, for example, is how when I was in Japan, I got these massive panic attacks, I got this massive bout with anxiety, I couldn't even go outside because I had agoraphobia. And through that, I found NLP, which is Neuro Linguistic Programming, and now I'm an NLP dating coach.

10:29 I use NLP to reprogram the brains of my clients, but when I had that anxiety attack, I used NLP on myself to overcome it. Now, I am, as I just told you, an NLP dating coach. I help guys meet women, and I do that in large part by reprogramming the bullshit in their heads, the belief systems like, I'm not enough, hot girls are too good for me. I literally remove that. Social anxiety, approach anxiety, I remove that as well. And because of that, they get massive success with women.

11:00 So, look, I was vulnerable in the way that I showed her that I had this struggle back when I lived in Japan, but I persevered past it, and that works into my storytelling. So, as I throw that in, that's part of this 20% of being chivalrous, being vulnerable, and that gets her more attracted to me because it shows her, okay, this is a real guy who has struggles, and he's brave enough, he's courageous enough to share those with me, extremely attractive. Now, again, you can go too hard on this, and so many of you guys do that.

11:32 Like, you're crying in her lap and hoping that your tears are going to be lubricant for sex. It doesn't work that way. You just want a little bit of this. Just sprinkle it on there, like a little bit of oregano, a little bit of Parmesan on your lasagna. That's all you're doing. 80% of it is controlling the frame, not to be fucked with, busting your chops. Okay, so back to chivalry. One great thing to do to line up the first kiss, and for you guys who live in an area where there are lookout points, this happened a lot with me in California, in Hawaii, where you can go look at the ocean.

12:06 What I do is I would bring a jacket with me on my dates. Then I would take her to a lookout point, and I would put the jacket on. We'd get out of the car, and we'd go over to this lookout point. And, of course, what happens? She starts to get cold, so I throw off the jacket, put it on her, and then I bring her in for a little cuddle, drop into the cuddle puddle, board the cuddle shuttle. Then what you're doing is you're sitting there kind of holding her on the lookout point.

12:31 You give it to your jacket, and then, bro, you just decimate her with the first kiss. I do that so many times, and that chivalry combined, once again, with a strong frame is what closed the deal. So, once again, you want to be cognizant of her comfort. Think about, is she comfortable right now? Is she struggling with something? And you want to be aware of that, and you want to point it out and say, hey, listen, I notice you're kind of cold right now. Would you like my jacket?

12:58 Here, here, take my jacket. Like, don't even ask her. Just be like, here, you're cold. Take my jacket, right? That's like chivalry combined with leading, controlling the frame, super attractive. I'm telling you guys, this is the way you get girls to fall in love with you. Time and again, girls meet either one extreme or the other. They meet a super attractive guy who's a total fuckboy, controls the frame, busts her chops, gets her ridiculously attracted, only gives her 80% of what she wants, just like what I teach.

13:27 But he's not like marriage material, which is what women call guys. Oh, is he marriage material? I wouldn't introduce this guy to my parents. I wouldn't be proud to roll with this guy to my best friend's wedding. But when you become the guy that's the bad boy mixed with the good guy, oh my hell boys, they fucking fall in love with you so fast, so fast. I mean, not to toot my own horn, but it's the only thing I can do here to illustrate this point is I've had so many girls fall in love with me after just like weeks, literally weeks, because I had that perfect mixture.

14:01 I'm telling you, 80-100 rule is so goddamn powerful to make girls super sprung on you. Now, a little caveat to this is you're going to get stalkers. You're going to get girls who won't go away. You're going to get girls who don't take the point when you break up with them. So that's a whole different problem, and that's actually a part of my coaching program. It's not a big part, but I do teach how to break it off with a girl, how to keep girls at arm's length, how to not get yourself in trouble by not only pissing where you eat, but also getting girls so ridiculously sprung on you that they won't fucking go away when you blow them out.

14:37 This is literally a problem you guys will have when you get this calibration correct. So once again, 80-100 rule states this. You want to give her 80% of what she wants, okay? So she wants to hang out five times a week. You hang out four. You also give her about 80% of the compliments she gives you. She gives you 10 compliments. Just an example. I know she's not going to give you 10 compliments, but just an example for math. She gives you 10 compliments. You give her eight. Now that 80-100 rule also applies to the calibration of how much cocky, funny you give her versus how much real, vulnerable chivalry you give her.

15:15 80% cocky, funny, 20% chivalry and being real, being vulnerable. Oh my God, brother. This girl is going to fall head over heels in love with you. This is so ridiculously powerful. So take this on board, gentlemen. Being chivalrous is super important, but you got to do it at the right point. You don't want to overdo it. So just get that calibration. Like I said, 80-20 here and there doesn't have to be a lot. But when you're that guy who both is the bad boy that makes her pussy wet, as well as the dude who she'd be happy to introduce to her parents and the dude who she feels she could have a family with, the guy she can trust to raise her children, oh my God, they're going to fall so deeply in love with you.

15:59 You're going to have too many women on your hands. That's going to be your new problem. Right now, a lot of you guys have scarcity issues. Have you ever thought about this? What would I do if I actually had four different chicks stalking me? I'm telling you, it happens. It happens when you get this calibration correctly. So take it on board. If you found value in this podcast, please do leave me a review and email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com and I'll send you a bunch of cool shit.

16:22 The conversation sniper, 150 deadly one-liners for building attraction, guide to the female orgasm, how to make her look like a screaming demon that just got hit with a tornado, and three texts to build massive attraction in women. Impress your friends. Also, if you want to get on that free one-on-one breakthrough session, sign up on my website, coachmarksing.com. Click on coaching, fill in the goddamn slap in the biscuit, and you and I will get on that one-on-one call together. All right, gentlemen? I drop podcasts on Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

16:52 I have another awesome one dropping in a few days, so please stay tuned for that, and I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you next time.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.