How to Yank a Hot Girl Out of Her Group of Friends (Approaching Groups)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today, we are going to talk about how to approach groups, how to yank a girl out of a group that you're attracted to without getting cock-blocked, without looking like a douche canoe, and without getting blown out so hard, your pants fly off when the concussion hits.

0:39 I am going to skip all the blatant advertising today. I'm not going to tell you about my three-month coaching program. I'm not going to tell you about my free breakthrough session that you can find on my website if you just go there and click on coaching. And I'm certainly not going to ask for reviews. We are just going to jump straight into the content. So let's go ahead and do that. So you see a cute girl, and she's surrounded a bunch of linebacker and hand-planted fatties, and you're like, oh, my hell, if I approach this girl, I just know that fat one is going to come flying horizontally from the 50-yard line to the 25-yard line.

1:10 Linebacker me, decimate me. I'm going to fumble the ball. The opposing team is going to pick it up and run it in for a touchdown. I just know it's going to happen, so I'm not going to approach. And I'll tell you, I have been in the club scene for a long, long time. I've probably logged thousands, tens of thousands of hours in bars, and I see it all the time, man. When there's a hot girl in the group, she hardly ever gets approached. And I'll tell you what, it's actually my preference because I know if I can just win over the group, then I can get her and the group actually defends her from having what I call the bit shield.

1:41 The bit shield is created when she gets hit on so many times. She gets picked up so much, she's starting to grow handles that she gets the bit shield, and she's not cool to you. And it's hard to get past that sometimes when it's just a girl who's like with one friend or even a girl, and this is dangerous. You have to wonder when this happens, when a girl is alone. So when she's in a group, it's actually preferable. Now, before I tell you how to yank her out of the group, I want to let you know that this isn't just some magic method.

2:12 You say six words to the group, they all disappear into hyperspace, and then you and her frolic through the meadows and go make love under a pine tree. Isn't going to work that way. The way it really works is, brother, you have to be warmed up, you have to be comfortable, you have to be confident to approach that group. And let's be honest, approaching a group when you have 12 different pairs of eyes looking at you while you're talking is an intimidating thing. So you're not going to just wake up out of bed, roll over, and go approach a group of six hot girls in order to yank the hottest one.

2:46 The way you have to do it, as I always say, is you have to warm up. So in my coaching program, what I make my clients do is approach 20 girls per week at a minimum. Now, the cool thing about it is I found a way to circumvent rejection so that I put my clients in a positive feedback loop where they realize that approaching people, and this includes groups, is a pretty safe thing when you're comfortable. And how do you get comfortable? I say this all the time.

3:13 You get comfortable with experience by warming up, by talking to people every single day, and that's why in my coaching program, over three months, my clients approach over 240 women. So think about that. If you approached 240 women, and not with rejection, I really want to stress that, not with rejection, because rejection is going to put you in a bad state. But if you approach 240 women over three months, can you imagine how comfortable you'd be to approach a group? It's just like public speaking. The way you get good at public speaking is by public speaking.

3:46 The way you get good at approaching women is by approaching women. And the way you get good at approaching groups is not only by approaching groups, but by warming up in that way of approaching 20 girls per week. So first and foremost, we have to set the foundation that when you go up to a group, you want to be warmed up. You want to be in the flow. You want to be in state, as I call it. How do you get in state? Just like I said, you warm up.

4:13 On your way to wherever you're going, and you can do this in your day-to-day life, all you guys have a schedule that you follow every day. And I don't care how many excuses you make to me, you are always dealing with people, you are always surrounded by people to whom you can open. So you can make a million excuses, COVID this, I don't see people that. Bro, you can put yourself in situations where you're seeing people, and most of you, 99% of you, are in situations every day where you see people.

4:42 So what do you do? You simply talk to them. Even a bum on the street, an old man at the supermarket, a lady filling up her car with gas at the gas station who's at the immediate adjacent gas pump next to you, talk to her. Say, hey, last week that gas pump wasn't working. Is it working right now? Yeah, it is. Cool. Just wondering, right? It doesn't have to be some long-ass conversation, but the premise here is that you're warming up. And I really want to set that foundation when it comes to approaching groups.

5:10 So the question I get a lot is, give me the six magical words I can say where all the group will disappear and the girl will jump in the air and slide right onto my dick. Bro, it doesn't exist. What exists is warming up, getting reps in, getting your flow going, and then when you approach the group, it's going to open up a lot more naturally. Okay, so now that that's out of the way, let's go ahead and get into the skill set of approaching a group, neutralizing the obstacles, and yanking the target out of the group so that you can yank her phone number.

5:42 You could even take her home. Like I've approached groups of all guys and one hot girl, and I was still able to yank her out of that group because I did it in a very systematic way. Okay, so the first thing we need to realize is that the hot one is usually going to be hit on the most, so her friends are usually jealous. And the alpha female in particular is going to be the one who's going to try to blow you out. So let's be socially intelligent here.

6:08 What do we do? We want to befriend the alpha female. Okay, so a couple different strategies is when you approach, what I suggest is you approach one of the grenades first, one of the canyon mules first, one of the sea donkeys that you feel is probably the alpha female or one of the alpha females that will probably blow you out. So usually the hottest girl, it's different for every situation, but usually the hottest girl for some reason isn't usually the most alpha. And usually that's because she's more in her feminine energy and her uglier friends are more in their masculine energy.

6:44 I believe this has to do with social dynamics as far as how they're raised. When you're not an attractive woman, you have to be more assertive. When you are an attractive woman, you don't have to be as assertive. Life is kind of giving you on a plate and you become more of a follower. That's the basic trend that I've seen. It's definitely not true for every girl, so don't assume that I'm making some kind of blanket statement. But usually that's the way it works. So what I typically do is I will approach who I think is the alpha female.

7:15 Now I'll approach them just the way I always teach you guys, right? Innoculous conversation, under the radar kind of thing. I don't want her to know, I don't want the group to know that I'm after their hot friend. Although, if they have any social intelligence whatsoever, they probably know what's going to happen. But look, when you win them over, then you are going to have a better chance of yanking the target. Now let's look at things from their perspective, okay? Let's put yourself in the shoes of an ugly woman.

7:41 You're not attractive, yet your friend is hot. What do you experience all the time? What you experience is guys coming up and trying to steal your friend away. Do you like that? Does that make you happy? Hell no. It pisses you off. And that's why these linebacker and cock blockers fly off the 50-yard line flying horizontally across the football field and then decimate you and you fumble the football. It's because they're sick of it. So you have to think about that. Let me put myself in the shoes of this woman.

8:08 If you go up and you just concentrate on the girl who you want, which you're going to do, but you're not going to do that first. But if you do that first, you're going to get blown out. I mean, dude, I have freaking closed it. I'm like walking out with this hot girl. I'm like, hell yeah, dude. I'm getting some tonight. And then the linebacker and cock block, bro, the freaking canyon mule, the mountain troll, just linebackers me and I get decimated. So I've learned this the hard way and I'm sure some of you have too.

8:36 So the thing to do is to neutralize the obstacle. How do we do that? Befriend them. Be cool to them. And also realize that if they're having a good time together and you come in and you bring down the vibe of the group, whether it's a group of two girls, four girls, or 10 people, if you bring down that vibe, what's going to happen? They're just going to want to get rid of you, right? Think about it. You're like bro-ing out with your friends. You guys are all having a good time.

9:02 And for some reason, a homeless man comes up and starts like chatting up your best friend. And he's just talking to them and he's like distracting the group. He's bringing down the vibe. He's not including you. You're going to be like, bro, piss off, dude. Kick rocks with your head down, you idiot. Get out of here, right? You're not going to want that guy there. But then think about like if some really cool guy comes into your group and he's chatting you all up, he's entertaining.

9:26 Let's just say for the sake of example, he's doing like magic tricks and you're like, dude, this guy is the shit. I'm really having a good time. He's brought up the group's energy. You're going to want to keep him there. So your job – and once again, this is why you have to get warmed up. This is why you have to get good at speaking with women in general, speaking with people in general because, dude, entertaining a group is harder than just entertaining one girl. Entertaining a group is even harder than doing this podcast episode right now because you have to engage everybody.

9:56 And people's attention is like freaking cats, especially when they're in a bar or nightclub, their attention is so, so fickle. So you got to keep their attention. You got to keep things interesting. So when and if you approach the ham planet fatty, the thing you want to do is to befriend her, be interesting, and make it all about them and their relationship. So here's a different thing. Now, of course, there's a myriad of different circumstances that can happen as far as how many people are in the group.

10:25 But what's really good to do with two girls is to make it all about them. How do you two know each other? How long have you been friends? Do you guys want to take the best friends test? And they say yes, and then you turn to the fatty and you're like, what kind of shampoo does she use? And she's like, I don't know, a Pantene? And she's like, no, I use this and that. And then it's like about them. And you can say, like, do you ever think about her?

10:49 And she calls you. What's like the coolest thing that's ever happened between you two? Let me guess. You're the one who defends her, right? Like she's always going out, getting in trouble. You're the one who reins her back in. So you make it about them. And you can do that as a group as well. And I'll say a lot of times when it's a group of just girls, it's usually a bachelorette party. And in bachelorette parties, bro, I'm telling you, this is a huge secret right here.

11:16 Usually there's high quality girls in a bachelorette party because these are the chicks that don't often go to bars and nightclubs. And what I'll do is I'll be able to look into groups and I can tell which girls aren't into it. I can tell which girls don't like to be in the scene. And then I'll go up sometimes and I'll approach that girl and I'll say, you're not really into this, are you? You're not really a nightclub kind of girl, are you? And she'll be like, no, not really.

11:39 Even if it's not my target, a lot of the times that'll work really well. Now, if it is my target, I'm not going to go up to her first. So this is a general rule that I suggest. Don't approach your target. Now, there's different ways to skin a cat. There's been times when I have approached my target. And that's the thing about pickup and that's the thing about doing this podcast is experience and understanding social dynamics is so important that as a podcast host, it's not always so easy to just make blanket statements that apply to all things.

12:08 Because sometimes I will go right up to my target. It just depends on the dynamic. But generally speaking, I'm talking 80% of the time, you're going to want to neutralize the friends first. Now, here's a brilliant, genius, freaking mad scientist method I came up with to neutralize the fatty. What I do is I tell her she reminds me of my sister. She reminds me of my cousin. She reminds me of my best friend, my coworker, somebody who clearly I wouldn't be attracted to. But yet, somebody who I'm very close with so I can put her in the friend zone immediately.

12:43 You see how that works? So I'll even approach with this sometimes. I'll be like, hey, listen, don't mean to bother you. I just have to say, you look exactly like my sister. Seriously, when I first saw you, I thought it was her. I was about to come give you a big hug. But it would have been weird, right? If I came up from behind you and started hugging you, kissed you on the neck, you would have been like, the fuck is happening? But I'm telling you, you look exactly like my sister.

13:06 What's your last name? So I'll neutralize her that way. And obviously, if I'm telling this girl that she looks like my cousin, looks like my sister, she's not going to try to hook up with me. And she would kind of be a bitch to blow me out when I'm trying to hit on her friend. Wouldn't you agree? In fact, a lot of times when I befriend women in this way, they're going to try to help hook me up with their friend, which is kind of good.

13:28 It's kind of bad. I don't want to get into it. I don't want to get too off tangent on this podcast. But it's better than her blocking you. Okay, so to reiterate, you're warmed up. When you're warmed up, when you're comfortable, when you're confident, you approach the group. You want to neutralize the obstacles first. If there's dudes in the group, what I'll oftentimes do is I'll go up to the dudes first. And I'll usually just say some bullshit like, hey, bro, did you play soccer in XYZ League when you were this age?

13:55 Or did you go to this high school? Or, bro, do you work for this company? I'll pretend I know them from some other thing, and then I'll chat them up, neutralize them, and then I'll go to the next person, and I'll be basically enveloped into the group. So once I've gone through everybody and I've kind of talked to everybody, then what I'll do is I'll start talking to my target. Okay, so the target is kind of like actually the last person. Typically, once again, it's different depending on the situations, but typically it's the last person who you're going to talk to.

14:26 And then when you are talking to her, you've already neutralized everybody else. Then what I'll do to yank her out of the group, and that's what you want to do. You want to try to get her alone. Not necessarily. Again, it depends. But ideally, and this is true for women in general, by the way, is if you can move them into your territory, your natural habitat, then it makes them more attracted to you. Because it's kind of like the girls coming to your cave and your area.

14:53 So if you have a table, if your group of friends are at the bar and their group of friends is by the dance floor and you take her over to your group of friends, that's a lot more attractive than you kind of being in her territory. You see how that works? So oftentimes, and this is a little bit of a tangent, if a girl is really attracted to you, like super jocking you, you can tell it's on like no other. If you can get her to walk over to you, that's way better than you walking over to her.

15:21 Like if you can get her to come into your area, into your territory, it's really powerful. So what I'll do to get a girl out of the group is I'll ask the alpha female if it's okay that I take quote unquote Kelly over to the bar real quick to get a drink. Now what this does is it makes the alpha female feel like she's in power because she wants to feel like she's in power. If she feels like you are coming to her asking for permission, I understand it from a frame control perspective, you may be questioning this.

15:53 But again, as I always say in frame control is the guy who has a really strong frame is also good at pretending to give other people the frame in order to get what he wants. So by asking her, hey, is it cool if Kelly and I just bounce to the bar real quick to get a drink, we'll be right back. She'll usually say yes. Like 99% of the time she'll be like, oh yeah, sure. Especially again, if you placate her ego and let her feel like she's the one in power, that will really work a lot of the times.

16:20 Okay, so now you've got her to the bar. Now you can work on her more on one-on-one. Obviously, you're going to deploy all the attraction building techniques I talk about in this podcast, but more importantly, what I teach in my three-month coaching program. Then what you do if you want to yank her out of the bar itself is maybe take her to the smoking patio. You guys get some air together. You're still chopping it up. Maybe you start kissing her there. Depends on the situation. And then what you have her do is text her friend to let her know that you guys are just going to run across the street real quick to get like a bite to eat at the diner or maybe to go to a different nightclub real quick and she'll catch up with her friends later.

16:59 Okay, so that's the basic framework of how to approach groups, how to take the girl out of the group. But here's the thing, man, is you have to be entertaining to the whole group. This is so important. I want to say it again, that if you bring down the vibe of the group, they're going to blow you out. It just happens every single time. I see it. Not only has it happened to me. I've seen it with my clients. I've seen it with guys who don't know what they're doing.

17:22 You go up to your target. You ignore the other girls. You're fucked, dude. You're done. You have to engage them. And the best way to engage them, again, is to tell the alpha female. She reminds you of a family member, of a best friend, of a coworker, and to befriend everybody. And when it comes to dudes, you've got to neutralize them one by one because dudes will oftentimes be the biggest cock blockers. But here's the thing with dudes. Usually, those guys are in the friend zone.

17:47 So as I've talked about as well in previous podcasts, if they try to amog you, which is alpha male of the group, if they try to bust your chops, make you feel like a jackass, and you can flip the frame on them, she's going to get way more attracted to you. So I almost like it in a way when a girl is with her friend-zoned friend, and he tries to challenge me because I'll flip the shit on him and just decimate him from a frame control perspective in front of her, and then she gets more attracted to me.

18:18 This is why oftentimes I'm able to yank the phone numbers from girls who are with their boyfriends, definitely girls who are with their guy friends. And the interesting thing about friend-zoned dudes, and they're called orbiters because they're like orbiting her planet, the interesting thing about orbiters is when you start getting her attracted, they disappear like into outer space, bro. They just get beamed up into Star Trek or something into a different planet. They're gone. And I'll be like, where'd your friend go? And she's like, I don't know.

18:46 He probably just took off. A lot of the times they don't even care. So what happens is these guys get butthurt, and they dig out, right? They don't want to be around a dude who's getting the girl that they tried to get, but they're in the friend zone. It's kind of a fucked up thing. I don't like to do it so much anymore as I used to, but I've done it tons of times. And again, it's all about just showing frame. I'm always cool to the guy, and that's the thing about frame is I want to let you know.

19:09 I don't make him look like a douche. In fact, I'm cooler to him than he is to me, and that's controlling the frame because he's more affected. He's more influenced. So this happens too in groups. If you're just the most calmest, the most, you know, chill dude, and you're cool to everybody, it works really well. A couple other points on this. One thing I'll do too is I'll merge groups together. And this is really, really powerful to get into different groups and to get targets that would otherwise be neutralized by the cock blocks.

19:41 So what I'll do and the way I think of myself is I am the emcee. I am responsible for everybody's fun here. So what I'll do is I'll be like, hey, come over here and meet my friends, right? Or, hey, let's go meet this group over here. I'll meet a couple chicks, and then I'll see another group that's behind us, and I'll tap them on the shoulder. I'll be like, what's up, guys? What's your names? This is Kelly. This is Brooke. What's your guys' names? Oh, it's Jessica and Susan.

20:04 Cool. Now I've fucking got four girls, and I've converged groups together. I also like to take chicks to the dance floor. Come on, everybody. Let's go dance. Like if a song comes on, you want to feel like you're like the emcee. Now, this also begs the question, well, how do I approach groups like in public? It's basically the same thing. You go up. You want to bring up the energy. You don't want to bring it down. You neutralize the obstacles. It's basically the same thing. Now, in the nightclubs, not only is it more common, it's a little bit easier, but the general premise is the same.

20:36 You get super warmed up. You want to be super in flow. You want to bring up the energy of the group. You need to engage everybody, neutralize the alpha by telling her that she reminds you of your sister, and then your target is the last one you approach. Okay, now to blow out everything I just said, because, again, there's different ways to skin a cat, there's another approach I do that works really well, particularly when I'm in a really good state, and especially when the group of girls have seen me killing it with other girls and know that girls are attracted to me.

21:09 And especially, number two, when the target has given me a couple green lights and I know I've won with her, you can walk up to the group and say, what's up, ladies? Didn't mean to interrupt. My name's Mark, and I have to be completely honest. I think your friend right there is super cute. Would you guys be cool if I spoke to her, right? And if you're super confident, you point right at the girl who you want to talk to, and you say, I want to talk to her.

21:36 And oftentimes, they'll all laugh and be like, oh, my God, and she'll blush. And they'll be like, yeah, totally. You'd be like, cool. And then you walk up to her, and you're like, what's up? Didn't mean to embarrass you like that, but I saw you from across the room. Figured if I approached in a regular way, your friends would probably tell me to get lost. So I did what I did. What's up? What's your name? Right? So you can do it that way. So there's different ways to skin a cat, but the basic premise is you got to be confident.

22:00 You got to be comfortable. You got to be in state. One of the best ways to be in state, again, is to just warm up. Warm up your night by talking to bums when you first go out. Warm up during the day by talking to people at the grocery store, the gas station, 7-Eleven, Starbucks, wherever you happen to go. Get yourself warmed up. And then when you do approach that group, you're confident. Another thing I want to say on this is approaching groups is exactly like public speaking.

22:27 Public speaking is very difficult because you'll find that not only are you nervous to be on stage, which is interesting. Check this out. People are more afraid of public speaking than death. Death is rated under public speaking as far as fears are concerned. And that's because of a whole social hierarchy thing that we have in our subconscious mind. If the tribe rejects us, we could die. And that's why public speaking is so scary. But I'll tell you this. If you can get good at public speaking, and I suggest joining Toastmasters, public speaking courses at your local community college, not only are those good, but you can meet lots of girls too.

23:05 But if you can get good at public speaking, you can approach groups of girls because it's the exact same thing. This podcast, for example, it's a public speaking platform. And part of the reason I'm good on this podcast is because I've been in set so many damn times. I've spoken to six fucking nines and tens who are all looking at me, and I have to be engaging and entertaining. Does it really make me nervous that I'm sitting in my office right now speaking into a microphone knowing that there's tens of thousands of guys listening to me?

23:36 No, compared to what I've been through in the nightclubs, compared to some of the translation things I've done as a Japanese translator when I was in Japan, this is nothing. And that's why I'm very confident on the microphone. But I'm telling you, if you can become more confident in public speaking, you're going to be more confident in front of approaching groups. You're going to be way more confident when it's one-on-one with a woman, and her attraction for you is based on that confidence. I want to say that again.

24:05 Her attraction for you is based on your social confidence. So I encourage you guys to take public speaking courses. I encourage you guys to warm up, obviously, and I encourage you guys to practice approaching groups. Just know that it is a harder part of picking up girls, but once you master it, dude, the world's your oyster, man. You can have literally any girl you want because it's one of the hardest things to do. All right, gentlemen, I hope that gave you some good content to think about, to practice, and to sink your teeth into.

24:35 If you find value in my podcast, please do leave me a review and email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com. I'll send you a bunch of cool shit, and as most of you know already, I do offer a free one-on-one breakthrough session with me where you and I get on the phone, and I tell you exactly what I think it would take for you to get results with women, do a little bit of coaching, talk about your belief systems, your metaprograms, and if you're a good fit to come into my three-month coaching program.

25:01 All right, gentlemen, I drop podcasts on Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays, so stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next one.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.